Walking Her Home

[Neelh]

Okay then, guys! This is my fanfic that I wrote during the Downtime. It's a sort of sonfic to Mark Schlutz's Walking Her Home. It's NOT Aderia's version. The song lyrics are intergrated with the story, like an Eerybody's Fool songfic I saw a while ago.So, shall we begin?

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Walking Her Home

By Neelh

~~~The Matoran closes his eyes as he looks at her dead body. Looking back, he sees it all.~~~"Daddy! He's here!"It was her first date the night he came to call.Her dad said, "Son, have her home on time. And promise me you'll never leave her side."He nodded. "Heart-swear."He had a strange gift that only a few people in all the universes had. He could open portals into other worlds. In one of his expeditions, he had met a girl. She was squishy and organic and wasn't activated after being built, but born. Apparently she was very short for her species, but her long ginger hair and her strange grey eyes made up for that. Tonight, she was wearing a shining white dress that came just above her knees and silver shoes.They left the house into the garden, where he opened a portal to Metru Nui. He took her to a show in town. It was quite similar to a human play called 'Romeo and Juliet', but it ended happily. He was ten feet off the ground in his heart, which was about three times his height as he was walking her home and holding her hand. The Matoran no longer needed to hide his powers from anyone now, since he began showing his girlfriend the city. All the way home she smiled and stole the breath right out of him. He opened a portal to take her home, but when they got out the other side, it was the wrong street. He took her home down that old road with the stars up above.~~~He remembers where he was the night he fell in love.He was walking her home.They got married in Metru Nui as soon as she was old enough.~~~Ten more years in a waiting room at half past one.The Matoran paced around the waiting room, twiddling his thumbs. "Why isn't this quick-fast?" he asked himself."Be quiet," his father-in-law snapped. "Sorry, it's just I'm worried, and it's painful. Sometimes... Women die from giving birth."This stopped the Matoran. Thankfully, the silence was broken by a Ko-Matoran doctor. The doctor said, "Come in and meet your son."This was an order the Matoran gladly followed. His knees went weak as he saw his wife. She looked up at him with grey eyes. She was smiling as she said "He's got your eyes."They smiled as she fed the child, who was mostly organic but wore a mask, some armour, and had the eyes of the Matoran."What will he be called?" asked the young woman.Her husband stared into the baby's eyes with so much affection that only a father could have. "He'll be call-named Jayk."After agreeing that was to be his name, his wife began to doze off. As she slept he held her tight, and once again his mind went back to that first night...~~~He was a proud old Matoran. He walked her through the best days of her life, from teaching their son to walk, run, speak, write, everything, to those nights when he was out at a sleepover or with his grandparents on Earth. Sixty years together and he never left her side.~~~A nursing home at eighty-five. There were no such facilities on Metru Nui, so his wife was to live out her last days on Earth.The Ko-Matoran doctor said, "It could be her last night."And the human nurse said, "Oh. Should we tell him now, or should we wait until the morning to find out?"The doctor thought for a second, then said, "Now. I know them rather well. They don't like being left in the dark. And trust me, just because he's here, doesn't mean that Matoran's old.""How old are you?" she asked the doctor.He said a number so large, it was at least a hundred times the age of the oldest human resident.They went upstairs, but when they checked her room that night he was laying by her side. The doctor knew they were remembering their first date in Metru Nui.The inter-species couple were not unaware that she was dying. After her heart failures, it was impossible she'd live past 90.The Matoran looked into her eyes. Oh, the way she smiled when he said, "This is not the end."Just for a while, they were eighteen together, so new to the world, and so in love. She was still more beautiful to him than anything.His wife died that night. The last thing she said was his name, then she was just gone.~~~Looking back, he sees it all.It was her first date the night he came to call...

Edited May 23, 2012 by Neelh

[Aderia]

Heyy!! Guess what!! I like it The way you crossed Earth and Metru Nui over made the whole thing really unique, but my favorite part is how you have the lyrics dispersed throughout the entire story, because it really makes you want to read through the story. Now usually, 'bam i can open a portal to earth' stories aren't my favorite, but in this case, the whole portal thing turned out okay because of the nature of the story. Keep up the good work! I'm so glad to have BZP's library back

[Neelh]

Heyy!! Guess what!! I like it The way you crossed Earth and Metru Nui over made the whole thing really unique, but my favorite part is how you have the lyrics dispersed throughout the entire story, because it really makes you want to read through the story. Now usually, 'bam i can open a portal to earth' stories aren't my favorite, but in this case, the whole portal thing turned out okay because of the nature of the story. Keep up the good work! I'm so glad to have BZP's library back

Thank you! :3 In my head-canon, there are some people with a natural tunation to other universes, making it easier for people to find their 'person just for them'[/chobits] Thank yo very much for the review. They still mean a lot to me. :3

[Nuile the Paracosmic Tulpa]

That was . . . well, that was peculiar, to say the least. But somehow it was very touching, very beautiful, and very sad. My heart twisted in my chest for the ageless Matoran and the many tens or hundreds of thousands of years he will live yet without his wife. There's a lot, of course, about this that doesn't make any sense at all, but somehow, I overlooked it just because the story was so deliciously sweet. It was absolutely beautiful. I think you did an excellent job here. I'm never one, however, to leave grammatical errors unnoted:

He could open portals into other world.

World should be plural.

His knees went weak as she saw his wife. She looked up at him with grey eyes. She was smiling as she said "He's got your eyes."

He, not she; and there should be a comma before the quotation there.

They went upstairs, but when they checked her room that night he was laying by her side.

Lying, not laying.

Oh, the way she smiled when he said, "This is not the end,"

Actually, this was the end, so it should have a period, not a comma. Overall, it was a lovely story, and your grammar was proper, your style fluidic; I enjoyed it very much. Thank you for writing it, and for sharing it. Keep writing! By the way, I think your justification of the portal ability was so poetic and beautiful that it should have been in the story somehow. If that was your thought at the time of writing, you should have included it, I think.

From the desk of Nuile: Lunatic Wordsmith

[JPNML]

Nice, the idea of bionicle-human relationship is an interesting idea.Nothing bad to say.

Edited May 23, 2012 by Raiden: Toa of Storms

[Neelh]

@Nuile - Thanks! I appreciate the grammar corrections. ^.^ However, I put the lyrics into the story, and he sung 'laying'. It bothered me, too, but it would have bothered me more if I'd have changed it.@Raiden - It's not really that original, though. It's been overdone on other places around the internet.

Edited May 23, 2012 by Neelh

[Nuile the Paracosmic Tulpa]

I didn't even realize this was a songfic. And that, I think, can be considered a good thing. In that case, I commend the artful way you layered the lyrics in discreetly and cohesively.

From the desk of Nuile: Lunatic Wordsmith

[JPNML]

@Neelh's replyI've never seen another human-matoran relationship,'Cuz I'm fairly new.

[Athmos]

I'm not big on Earth-Bionicle connections like this, but the story is good.