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Mask of Light: What You Didn't See

Bionicle Movie Mask of Light Spoof

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#1 Offline Takuaka: Toa of Time

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Posted Jan 05 2013 - 06:21 PM

Some of you older fans may remember the original Bionicle movie: The Mask of Light. Even some of you younger members may have seen it. In any case, this is a spoof of that film that I wrote years ago, and have decided to share. So naturally it'll probably make a lot more sense if you've seen the movie first.

 

 

 I'd like to add that this was inspired by another spoof of the movie I read years ago by an old member called SPIRIT. I found his spoofs of the movies hysterical, and this inspired me to write my own. Thanks, SPIRIT! I even used one of his characters, the Director.

 

 

So, without further ado, I'd like to present...

 

 

 

 

[font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"][color=rgb(255,0,0);]Bionicle the Movie: The Mask of Light: What You Didn't See[/color][/font]

 

 

CHAPTER 1: Opening/Lava Snacking

 

 

 

( A whole bunch of Lego bricks fall and magically form the word: LEGO. Strange, isn't it? )

 

( A lake. At night. We zoom over the lake while dramatic music plays and see a city. Suddenly, all the lights in the city go out, and the words "MIRAMAX: Home Entertainment" appear. WHAT BIZARRE WORLD DO WE LIVE IN!?!?!? )

 

( We go down through some mist and some birds fly by... We finally arrive at the Amaja Sand Pit. In the background, someone fiddling with some keys can be heard. )

 

Vakama: Stupid door...

 

( The sounds of a door opening and someone scrambling into position are heard. )

 

Vakama: Gathered friends, listen again to our legend...

 

( Vakama pauses for dramatic effect. )

 

Vakama: ...of the me.

 

( The director [yours truly] coughs loudly. )

 

Vakama: *sigh* Oh fine. ...our legend of the Bionicle. In the time before time the Great Spirit descended from the heavens carrying we, the ones called the Matoran. (actually I'm a Turaga, not a Matoran, but a certain someone wants to keep this thing simple)

 

( The director coughs. )

 

Vakama: To this paradise. We were seperate, and without purpose, (except for eating Cheese Nips) so the Great Spirit illuminated us with- I'M BLIND! Oh wait, I just blinked. Ahem, illuminated us with the three virtues: Foolery, stupidity, and density. Wait... *checks script* I mean, unity, duty and destiny... I thought mine were better though... We returned these gifts to the store and bought a pilates machine instead, and in gratitude named our island home Wal-Ma- Uh, Mata Nui after the Great Spirit himself. But our endless Cheese Nip eating was not to last, for Mata Nui's brother, The Makuta, was jealous of these low-calorie snacks and betrayed him, hitting him over the head with a frying pan, forcing Mata Nui into a deep slumber. The Makuta was free to "let the dogs out". And "let them out" he did.

 

( Dramatic music plays, and the title scene is shown. )

 

 

Posted Image

 

 

( At Ta-Koro, Jaller is looking for Takua. )

 

Jaller: Takua! Ugh, he's got less Cheese Nips in his head than a Cheeze It box... Takua!

 

( Jaller sees Takua's Kolhii stick leaning against the wall of an arch. )

 

Jaller: Aw, Takua. Hmph. He better not make me late for my yoga class...

 

( Jaller walks through the arch and down a winding path into the lava caves. )

 

Jaller: Takua! Takuuuuuuaaaa!

 

( Meanwhile, Takua is looking past a lava river at a totem. Pewku is with him. )

 

Takua: Look Pewku! *points to totem*

 

( Pewku is completely still and silent. )

 

Takua: Uh, hello? *waves hand in front of Pewku*

 

( The cardboard Pewku falls over. )

 

Director:  :huh: Where's Pewku!?!?

 

( Pewku walks into the cave wearing a towel. Upright. On her hind legs. )

 

Pewku: Geez, can't a girl take a shower? *pauses* Are we filming?

 

Takua: *sigh* Yes!

 

Pewku: Oops!

 

Director: Actors... :glare:

 

( Pewku promptly throws her towel into the lava and gets on all sixes. Takua starts hopping across the rocks. )

 

Takua: Thats- Why- They call- me- Cheese for brains!

 

( Takua stops on a rock near the other side and admires the totem. )

 

Takua: Ooh, I bet no one's ever been this suicidal before...

 

Jaller: Takua!

 

Takua (taken by surprise): *high pitched girly scream*

 

Jaller: Relax, it's just me!

 

Takua: Uh... *high pitched girly scream*

 

Jaller: Oh cut it out!

 

Takua: Fine...

 

Jaller: What are you doing down here alone!? We're supposed to be at the kolhii match! It's the Superball...

 

Takua: Oh, oh yeah, sorry Mr. No Fun.

 

Jaller: I do too have fun...

 

Takua: Where?

 

Jaller: I think I left it in my other suit. :D 

 

Takua: Yeah, well, hang on a sec', I just gotta check out that totem.

 

Jaller: You're hopping across lava to look at a stupid warning totem?

 

( Suddenly, a bright light shines from above, even though they're in a cave. )

 

Deep Loud Voice: Don't diss the totem.

 

Jaller: :surprised: *high pitched girly scream* Y-yes sir! Right away sir! Anything you say sir! I am your servant sir!

 

DLV: Let's not overdo it, okay?

 

( The bright light fades. )

 

Director: Well I must say, that was odd. Continue. :) 

 

Jaller: *gulp* Um, you're hopping across lava to look at an extremely intelligent warning totem?

 

Takua: That pretty much sums it up.

 

Jaller: Do you know what Turaga Vakama would say?

 

Takua: Uh... "Where's my cane?"

 

Jaller: Okay, bad example. Do you know what Turaga Onewa would say?

 

Takua: *sighs and clears throat* "Let's break big expensive things!"

 

Jaller: Another bad example... Let's try Turaga Nokama.

 

Takua: "Irresponsible"...

 

Jaller: Now come on!

 

Takua (hopping across the last of the rocks): Be- Right- There! (on the other side) Ha ha!

 

Jaller: What's so funny?

 

Takua: I landed on a pile of gravel. It tickled.

 

Jaller: *sigh* (sarcastically) Very impressive...

 

Takua: Encore?

 

Jaller: No! Now let's go!

 

( Takua takes the totem off it's pedestal. )

 

Takua: Unh!

 

DLV: You have offended the spirit of the totem!

 

( Suddenly, the tunnel starts to rumble. )

 

Takua: Oh no!

 

( Rocks fall from the ceiling and the rocks in the river go under. )

 

Jaller: Takua, get out of there!

 

( Several rocks fall around Takua and he drops the totem, which falls into the lava. Takua tries to grab it, but it's too late. Suddenly, the Mask of Light comes to the surface. )

 

Takua: Jaller, look!

 

Jaller: (seriously) Very impressive! I think... A great kanohi mask!

 

( Takua takes it out of the lava. )

 

Takua: The lava! It buuurns!

 

( The mask cools off and Takua looks at words written on the back of the mask. )

 

Takua: Wow, I've never seen this language... Well, except on the back of that one Cheeze It box...

 

Jaller: Takua!

 

Takua: Hold your rahi! *Jaller holds Pewku* I'm coming!

 

Pewku: Put me down...

 

Jaller: :guilty:

 

( Suddenly, the tunnel rumbles and a huge wave of lava comes down the river. )

 

Takua: Here! Take the mask!

 

( Takua throws the mask to Jaller. Seeing as he couldn't hit the side of a barn, it goes into the lava. Luckily, as we saw before, it floats. So Jaller reaches over the river and grabs it. The wave gets closer, and so Takua throws his board into the lava and heads across the river. Unfortunately, he's slower than a snail on that thing, so the wave closes in to engulf him. )

 

Takua: Typical...

 

( A blue blur flies by, saving Takua from imminent doom, so close that Jaller didn't see it. In a moment Takua sees it's Tahu in a blue bathrobe. )

 

Takua: Ah, Toa Tahu!

 

Tahu: *throws bathrobe into lava* Okay, first of all, it's Toa Tahu Nuva. Second of all, I was taking a shower when the Stunts Coordinator grabs me and throws me into the lava! Shee... Third of all, my line: Chronicler! Sight-seeing, were you?

 

Takua (sarcastically) : Sure, and after that I figured I'd go swimming down here.

 

Tahu: Awesome. Well, let's take a closer look at those falls!

 

( Tahu does that thing where he flies over the falls, while Takua pretends to scream and be terrifed as he takes pictures all the way down. Tahu sticks his swords in the wall and they stop. )

 

Tahu: So, Takua, this view close enough?

 

Takua: I'll say! :)  :takepic:

 

Director: Takua!

 

Takua: Oh, I mean: *high pitched girly scream*

 

Director: Much better.

 

( Takua looks up to see the lava headed right for them. )

 

Takua: Incoming!

 

Tahu: Cool! B-) 

 

Takua: ... Aren't you going to activate your shield?

 

Tahu: Nope.

 

Takua: :OMG: ARE YOU INSANE!?!?!?

 

Tahu: Yep. What's your point?

 

Takua: TURN THE MASK ON YOU SUICIDAL MANIAC!!!

 

Tahu: Aw, you're no fun...

 

( Tahu activates his mask of shielding and the lava goes by harmlessly. He then starts climbing back up the wall. )

 

THE END

 

 

There's chapter 1 and I hope you like it so far! I intend to post chapters weekly, so chapter 2 should be up by Sat. Jan. 12th. On an unrelated note, boy does BZPower have a lot of smileys. :dazed:


Edited by Takuaka: Toa of Time, Jan 27 2013 - 09:46 PM.

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This is where I'm supposed to have a signature, right? Alright, then.


Timaka: Toa of Time


I have very neat hand-writing.


#2 Offline Great Being Velika

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Posted Jan 05 2013 - 06:47 PM

Foolery, stupidity, and density.

we do have a lot of smilies. He is seeing stars because I did this :headbonk: to him

Also, you are one pushy director, and foolery, stupidity, and destiny all the way! :superfunny:


Edited by Great being Velika, Jan 05 2013 - 11:17 PM.

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#3 Offline T.B.O.C

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Posted Jan 05 2013 - 10:36 PM

I think it's good so far. The spacing in between is a bit off in the one part separating the two different scenes, but that's probably just a small error of some sort.

 

It's interesting that SPIRIT inspired you, which I find cool, as I really enjoyed his parodies when he wrote them back on the old forums. This is good too, though, and I did genuinely laugh at some of the jokes, which hasn't been too common in the comedies nowadays. I hope the other chapters are good as well!


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#4 Offline Takuaka: Toa of Time

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Posted Jan 05 2013 - 10:45 PM

And here it is, for posterity's sake: The Newest MoL Spoof Yep, he sure cracked me up. I might even re-read it myself, as I haven't in a long time. FYI for those of you who haven't, it's worth a look. ;) Do you know if he's still a member here?

 

Thank you, Velika. I'm glad you like my alternate virtues. :P That's one of my favorite jokes, too.

 

And thank you, T.B.O.C. :) The spacing was intentional, you're supposed to imagine the title scene there. But I guess that's hard if you don't remember what it looks like... Mayhaps I'll find a picture of it and stick it in there. Many of the other chapters are, I think, at least as good as this one, but the trouble will come when we near the end. :P That's when, I seem to recall, it got bad... I may even re-write them if I can manage it.

 

Keep laughing, all. :afro:

 

EDIT: Okay, that's not the title sequence I put in there, but close enough.


Edited by TahuNuvaFan, Jan 05 2013 - 10:56 PM.

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#5 Offline Core Jalokim

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Posted Jan 05 2013 - 11:02 PM

wheres my cane?

that cracked me up.


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#6 Offline Takuaka: Toa of Time

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Posted Jan 12 2013 - 02:54 PM

Well, here's Chapter 2! I hope you enjoy it!

 

As a side note, whenever the characters laugh with "ha ha"s, (usually) those were actual sub-titles from the movie.

 

 

Chapter 2: Kolhii Superball

 

 

 

( At the edge of the lava river, Jaller is sad because he thinks Takua's dead. )

 

Jaller: Aw Takua... You owed me five hundred bucks! *cries*

 

( Suddenly, two swords land into the ground by Jaller. )

 

Jaller: *gasp* WE'RE BEING INVADED!!! SOUND THE ALARM!!!

 

Tahu: Dude, it's just me.

 

Jaller: Oh, okay... SOUND THE ALARM!!!

 

Tahu: Oh, be quiet...

 

Jaller: Fine... *reads script* *clears throat* Toa Tahu! Takua... He didn't... Change his socks... For weeks...

 

( Takua comes out from behind Tahu. )

 

Takua: Ha ha! ... Stepped on the gravel again...

 

Jaller: You're alive! ... Cheeze It head! You could've been lava bones! ... Hmm... Takua Soufle, extra-crispy... *dreamy look*

 

Takua:  :blink: *steps away slowly*

 

( Pewku comes and licks Takua. )

 

Pewku: Eww... When was the last time you bathed?

 

Takua: Uh... Could've been, but I'm not!

 

Jaller: :(

 

Takua: What? :huh:

 

Jaller: *coughs* Nothing. :innocent:

 

Takua: Hmm...

 

( Tahu sees the Mask of Light and picks it up. )

 

Tahu: A great kanohi mask.

 

Jaller: It was in the lava... ... *gasp* Kanohi Soufle, extra crispy...  *dreamy look* *snaps out of it* Takua...

 

Takua: Yes?

 

Jaller: I was talking to Toa Tahu... Uh, Nuva.

 

Tahu: Good boy! *hands mask to Jaller* This could be important. Not as important as Cheese Nips, but important nonetheless. Take it to Turaga Vakama. AFTER you've won the kolhii match. I bet all my Cheese Nips that you'd win. Then no more "sight-seeing".

 

Takua: Why...?

 

Jaller: Uh, yes Toa Tahu.

 

( Vakama's voice plays in the background as Jaller and Takua head to the kolhii stadium. )

 

Turaga Vakama: We are thankful to the great spirit for his gift of six guardians representing the elements: Our mighty ME!

 

Director: TOA!

 

Turaga Vakama: *sigh* Our mighty Toa... Blah blah blah... (let's return our "gifts" to the store later) We now enjoy long walks along- uh, peace and prosperity, and the opportunity to build accidents waiting to happen, as we have with our new kolhii field.

 

( The crowd cheers. )

 

Random Matoran in Crowd: Boo!

 

( All the other Matoran throw tomatoes at him. )

 

Vakama: Let us welcome our- ME!

 

Crowd: *sigh* Welcome Turaga Vakama...

 

Vakama: I've trained them so well... *sniff*

 

( The director coughs loudly. )

 

Vakama: Oh fine! Let us also welcome our protectors: The spirit of fire, Toa Tahu.

 

Tahu: NUVA!

 

Vakama: *gulps* Toa Tahu Nuva...

 

( Tahu walks out into the Toa Stand and the crowd cheers. )

 

Vakama: From the village of water, Toa Gali.

 

Gali: Where's the hats?

 

( Gali discovers that she is in the stands of the kolhii field. )

 

Gali: (angrily) Nokama...

 

( The crowd cheers. )

 

Vakama: And from the village of stone, Toa Pohatu.

 

( Pohatu walks into the Toa Stand and the crowd cheers. )

 

Tahu: Pleasure to see you again Gali!  :) Cheese nip?

 

Gali: Oh, yes! Thank you, Tahu!

 

Director:  :???: You're supposed to be angry!

 

Tahu: Oh yeah... (sarcastically) Pleasure to see you again, Gali.

 

Gali: (sarcastically) Thank you, Tahu.

 

Pohatu: Brother! I am thrilled to be here!

 

Tahu: So skip around merrily why don't you?

 

Pohatu: 'Cuz the script says differently.

 

Tahu: Oh... *hits fist against Pohatu's* Well, we couldn't have our first match-

 

Jaller: SUPERBALL!

 

Tahu: Uh, couldn't have our championship without the patron of kolhii!

 

Pohatu: Ha ha ha ha! Darn gravel... And so I am here!

 

( Gali sits down grumpily. )

 

Pohatu: Always a pleasure Gali. Well, not always, but you get the point.

 

( Tahu sits down grumpily as well. Pohatu shrugs and sits down between them. )

 

Pohatu: Ugh... You two. Still so ill in disease? Uh, at ease?  :???:  ... What did I just say?

 

Director: >_<

 

Pohatu: Put your pennies in my hand! Wait, I mean: Put your petty dog- differences aside. I don't know what I'm saying today. Rejoice!

 

Gali: Hah. I think my brother is afraid of having his fire extinguished.

 

Tahu: Ooh, big word. You get a cookie. Ah ha ha ha. Stupid gravel! ... Sister, against me you'd be nothing be steam, hot air, as they so mistakenly say...

 

( Meanwhile, down in the Turaga stand. )

 

Onewa: Ahh, the Toa squabble like gukko birds over a berry.

 

Vakama: No they don't!

 

Onewa: Yes they do!

 

Vakama: No, they don't!

 

Onewa: YES, they DO!

 

Vakama: NO THEY DON'T!!!

 

Onewa: AAAAARRRRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!

 

( Vakama and Onewa begin to engage in healthy sibling rivalry. Funny how often that lands one of them in the hospital, though. )

 

Nokama: Their recent victories are a blessing, but they've forgotten (whispering: as have you two!) how much they need each other.

 

Vakama: In- Deed- -OW!- No... Kama... Could you do this next bit while -Ouch!- I show Onewa how the Turaga get going?

 

Nokama: *rolls eyes* Sure thing dude.

 

( Nokama steps forward. )

 

Nokama: We dedicate this kolhii field-

 

Vakama: To- -OW!- me!

 

Nokama: No! To the great spirit Mata Nui, and to the three virtues: Fashion, shopping, and high-heels. ^_^

 

Director: *growls*

 

Nokama: Uh huh huh huh... *gulp* Unity duty and destiny!

 

Director: Better.

 

Crowd: Unity! Duty! Destiny!

 

( Turagas Vakama and Onewa lay dizzily on their backs as Nokama says: )

 

Nokama: Let the tournament begin!

 

( The Random Matoran in the crowd from before belches loudly. The crowd then throws tomatoes at him and cheers. )

 

Kolhii Announcer Matoran Guy: Ta-Koro welcomes three teams. From the deserted village of Po-Koro, copper mask winners and undisputed kolhii champions: Wallace and Gromit!

 

Director:  :blink: Say it right!

 

Announcer: Wally and the Beave?

 

Director: Say the line or your fired!

 

Announcer: Okay, okay! Hewkii and Hafu!

 

( Hewkii and Hafu come out onto the field. )

 

Crowd: Cheese Nips! Cheese Nips! Cheese Nips!

 

Announcer: From the polluted- Er, shining seas of Ga-Koro: Lilo and Stitch!

 

Director: AAARRRGGGHHH!!!

 

Announcer: *pulls collar and steam comes out* Uh, Hahli and Achu- I mean, Macku!

 

Macku: Grr...

 

( Hahli and Macku come out onto the field. )

 

Announcer: And from Ta-Koro, your own captain of the guard and the Chronicler himself: Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi!

 

Director: That's it! You're fired!

 

Announcer: D'oh! I knew I shouldn't have gone for third... >_<

 

Director: Uh... You, that random matoran who keeps getting clobbered by tomatoes, you're hired.

 

Random Matoran: Cool! And I do have a name: Taku.

 

Director: Okay, Taku, you're hired.

 

( Taku steps up and grabs the mega-phone. )

 

Taku: Good day to all you dudes and dudettes out there! Ha ha, today we're watching the totally awesome Kolhii Superballl! A game where Matoran use sticks to wack balls around and the points don't matter! Let's get started.

 

Director: Oh... Kay...

 

Taku: Right, right. The players from Ta-Koro -where you are now!- are: Jaller and Takua!

 

( Jaller and Takua step out onto the field and glare at Taku while the crowd cheers. )

 

Takua: Why'd they ever make him announcer...?

 

Jaller: I know, he's more annoying than you!

 

Takua: Hey!

 

Jaller: Try your new move. And make it quick, I have a yoga class, remember?

 

Takua: Of course! Besides the free food, restrooms, and the rest of the game, it's what the audience came for!

 

Jaller: Right...

 

( The three fielders, Takua, Hahli, and Hewkii, walk up to the hole in the middle of the field. )

 

All three: Snack well!

 

( The ball [which is covered in logos] comes up out of the hole and flies into the air. )

 

Taku: Hewkii and Takua both jump up and grab the ball, but -OH!- Hahli jumps between them and takes posession. She rolls it towards the Ta-Koro goal and takes a shot. But it bounces off the side of the goal and Hewkii takes possession. Takua uses his stick to flip over Hewkii. His attempt is denied when Hewkii holds the ball between his feet and leaps over Takua's head. Hahli chases it to a wall, leaps onto the wall, pushes off it over Hewkii's head, and hits the ball straight at the Ta-goal. Jaller bats it away with his goalie shield.

 

Hahli: Huh, not bad.

 

Jaller: Nothing gets past the captain of the guard...

 

( At this moment, Hahli notices a "kick me" sign on Jaller's back but says nothing. )

 

Jaller: ...unless he wishes it.

 

Hahli: I'll keep that in mind. ;)

 

Taku: Hewkii has the ball. He brings it to the Ga-goal. He leaps up into the air and kicks it right into the goal! HE SCORES! HE BAD! OH YEAH! GO PO-KOOOORRROOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

 

Director: A little less enthusiasm please.

 

Taku: Oh all right...  :( Hewkii gains possession of the ball and once more heads for the Ga-goal. He throws it with his stick and scores another point! Whoo-hoo! Hahli leaps from center-field and hits the ball really far, scoring a goal. What a shot! She bad! She rock... Takua gets the ball, and -WHOA!- somehow sends it flying towards the Turaga stand! LOOK OUT VAKAMA!!!

 

( Takua does his "new move" and sends the ball flying toward the Turaga stand. Vakama [who had recovered from his fight] barely ducks in time as the ball makes a dent in the wall. Vakama stands up and grabs the ball. )

 

Vakama: *growls* When life gives you lemons...

 

( Vakama hurls the ball at the field. )

 

Vakama: CHUCK 'EM RIGHT BACK!!! *maniacal laughter*

 

( The ball lands and makes a crater. )

 

Taku: I don't think we''ve seen that move before! Hahli now has the ball! She sends it hurtling towards the Ta-goal like lightning!

 

Jaller: I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!!!

 

Taku: Jaller leaps out of the way and Hahli scores. :( The winning of the tournament goes to Ga-Koro! Congratulations, girls! ... Jaller! You blew it!

 

Jaller: Oops... Oh, well, now to get to my yoga class! *dashes off*

 

( The crowd cheers. Pohatu clanks his fist against Gali's. He goes to do the same with Tahu, but one look at the grump's face changed his mind. )

 

Tahu: All my Cheese Nips! *cry*

 

Taku: Mata Nui!

 

Takua: Uh, why'd you shout that?

 

Taku: Um, no idea. Script said to. What the script says, the Taku does. B-)

 

Director: I like him. He's loyal.

 

( Hahli, Macku, and Hewkii are down in the field. )

 

Hahli: *hits stick against Macku's* Nice defense- Well, actually, it wasn't. You didn't block a single shot!

 

Macku: Well...

 

Hahli: Well, nice try, anyway. We all have off days. We won, anyway. ... Wait... Hewkii was the only one to shoot at our goal.. That explains it. *rolls eyes*

 

Macku: Uh... Heh, heh. Whatever do you mean? :D

 

( Just then Hewkii walks up. )

 

Hahli: Good shooting Hewkii. *clanks stick*

 

Hewkii: Good shooting yourself Hahli!

 

Hahli: Yep, I'm good. B-)

 

Jaller: *who just appeared out of nowhere* Not bad, for a Ga-Matoran.

 

Nokama: *growls*

 

Jaller: Uh... *clanks sticks with Hahli*

 

Hahli: Good effort Takua. Nice move back there. A little more practice, and you'll have a threat to my championship. ... *gasps and suddenly goes into zombie mode* TAKUA'S MOVE MUST BE DESTROYED.

 

Takua:  Uh... Thanks? I think...?

 

Vakama: Congratulations to Ga-Koro! *glares at Nokama* And well played by all!

 

( All the players bow, and the Mask of Light falls out of Jaller's back-pack, landing at Takua's feet. Touching him, it begins to glow. He passes it with his foot to Jaller, and the light goes out. Jaller passes it back and it glows again. They kick it back and forth a few times, but then Takua tilts it, shining the light on Jaller. The crowd, Toa, and Turaga all gasp. )

 

Gali: Mata Nui! ... I don't know why I said that...

 

Taku: LET'S PARTAY!

 

( *crickets* )

 

THE END


Edited by Takuaka: Toa of Time, Jan 19 2013 - 11:16 PM.

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#7 Online namcurtsnoC

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Posted Jan 12 2013 - 05:54 PM

I liked Taku. He was meh when he was booing and belching but when he got the announcing job, man was he funny.
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Antidermis: 50% pit mutagen, 50% questionable Ga-Koro water. We now know the secrets of Makuta's servants.


#8 Offline CHTrilogy

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Posted Jan 13 2013 - 07:59 AM

This is enjoyable! The running gags are established well, and the characters are colourful. Come to think of it: it's MoL's 10th anniversary this year, isn't it!?...


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~ CHTrilogy

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#9 Offline X-Ray

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Posted Jan 13 2013 - 10:42 PM

[font="'trebuchet ms', helvetica, sans-serif;"][color=#008080;]I am glad that someone has been inspired by SPIRIT's excellent comedies. Indeed, I would count him as one of my inspirations as well. This comedy is written well, not too much like SPIRIT's, unique it's own right, with decent gags. While I am of the opinion that it's not quite as good as SPIRIT's comedies, that is an admittedly high bar to meet. My favorite joke was the line about Ga-Koro's waters being polluted. I also liked Taku. He's very amusing. I look forward to further chapters of this comedy. [/color][/font]

 

[font="'trebuchet ms', helvetica, sans-serif;"][color=#008080;]Sincerely, :akaku: X-Ray :akaku:[/color][/font]


Edited by X-Ray, Jan 20 2013 - 06:47 PM.

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#10 Offline Takuaka: Toa of Time

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Posted Jan 19 2013 - 10:49 PM

I hadn't even thought of that, CHTrilogy. But you're right, although I think the movie was released in September.

 

Nice to find another fan of SPIRIT's comedic talent, X-Ray! You're right, it is a high bar to meet. ;)

 

Glad you three are enjoying it! :)

 

 

Mask of Light: What You Didn't See...

 

 

Chapter 3: The Mask of Light. Is a bit rusty...

 

 

 

( Last time, Ga-koro won the Superball and the Mask of Light was found. Now, Nokama is translating the writing on the back of the mask at the Ta-Suva. )

 

Nokama: Makuta...

 

Jaller: *sigh* I'll never get to my yoga class.

 

Takua: What's she doing?

 

Jaller (sarcastically) : Ordering take-out.

 

Takua: Oh, cool! From where? Wendy's?

 

Jaller: Oh, it's a new place. McMoron's.

 

Takua: Oh. :dontgetit:

 

( Nokama steps forward. )

 

Nokama: This is the Great Kanohi Mask of Fashion: A mask only to be worn by yours truly.

 

Director: Nokama...

 

Nokama: Fine... And if you push this little button here- *beep* -it becomes the Mask of Light. A mask for a Seventh Toa. Yay.

 

Gali:  :o The prophecy is being fulfilled!

 

Tahu: What prophecy?

 

Gali: The one where Nokama becomes a super model. *shudders*

 

Tahu: :blink:

 

Nokama: A Toa... Of Light.

 

Takua (sarcastically) : Gee, thanks for clearing that up, I'd have never guessed what kind of Toa it would be given the name of the mask...

 

Nokama: You're quite welcome!

 

Takua: >_<

 

Vakama: Legends foretell the coming of a seventh hot tub for me. Now where's my hot tub?!?!

 

Director:  :blink: You don't get a hot tub...

 

Vakama: I don't...?  :( Uh, I meant the coming of a Seventh Toa. Yeah, that's what I meant... *coughs* Um, who would bring presents to all the good Matoran, and leave lumps of coal in Makuta's stockings. All ten thousand of 'em. Oh, and awaken Mata-Nui too...

 

( Tahu jumps forward next to Vakama. )

 

Tahu: What are we waiting for?

 

Takua: Nokama to order take-out!

 

Jaller: >_<

 

Tahu: We should prepare for this Toa's arrival. When will it be? And where?

 

Onewa: Ah, this Toa will not simply appear and do nothing but eat Cheese Nips, as you and the others did. The Seventh Toa must be called. *bends down* Here Toa of Light! Here Toa Toa Toa! *whistles*

 

Vakama: >_< Oh the senility of it all...

 

Nokama: It really has to be found. And the mask chose who would find it.

 

Vakama: ME!

 

Nokama: NO! Perhaps it also chose who would deliver it to its master.

 

Takua: Choose? :o The mask is alive! WE'RE BEING INVADED!! HEAD FOR THE HILLS!!!

 

( Everyone ignores him. )

 

Jaller: Great, now I'm gonna be a delivery boy...

 

Director: Don't wreck the movie!

 

Jaller: Oh, right.

 

Tahu: If you're quite finished!!! ... Wait, at the stadium, there was a sign. The mask threw all its light on one Matoran:

 

Taku: Me?

 

Tahu: No!

 

Vakama: Me! I knew it! I am the greatest!!!

 

Tahu: And the loudest... >_< No! You're not even a Matoran!

 

Every Matoran in the Crowd other than Jaller: Me?

 

Tahu: :burnmad: No you imbecilic morons!!! Jaller!!!

 

Jaller (who was trying to sneak out the door): Drat.

 

Tahu: He must be the herald of the Seventh Toa.

 

Jaller: But- But I didn't- Takua! Tell them the truth! Say something.

 

Takua: I do say something! Vakama has a gas problem.

 

( Everyone stares at Vakama, eyes wide. )

 

Vakama: :lookaround:

 

Takua: I also say: Hail Jaller! All hail Jaller! Herald of the Seventh Toa!

 

( Everyone throws hail at Jaller. )

 

Jaller: Ow... (to Takua): You cannot do this to me! You have to be the herald!

 

Vakama: Leader of the Protector-Things, get over here.

 

Nokama: Oh, you have such an amplitudinous vocabulary Vakama...

 

Vakama: Thanks! ... Wait, what?

 

Jaller: Boy, I am never gonna get to that yoga class... Takua...

 

Takua: Go on! Make us proud! Be a man! *pushes Jaller* Besides, I bet Taku you'd find the Seventh Toa before sundown.

 

Jaller: Takua, sundown is in five minutes.

 

Takua. Oh... Get goin' ya' big galoot! :begging: Search like your life depends on it! SEARCH!

 

Vakama: It seems the Mask of Light has chosen you. It seems so, but we all know it chose me.

 

Jaller: Uh... Yeah. Okay. *takes the mask*

 

Vakama: Will you seek the Seventh Toa?

 

Jaller: Well, I have nothing else planned. Oh yeah, EXCEPT FOR THE YOGA CLASS!!!

 

Vakama:  :???: Is that a yes? Or a no?

 

Jaller: I guess I might as well... I will. And Takua the Chronicler has volunteered to join me.

 

Taku: No he didn't! He didn't say a word! I VOLUNTEER!

 

Vakama: Perfect.  While I make history here, Jaller will go on some goose-chase-thing, Takua will write down what happens to him, and Taku will annoy them along the way. Soon, we will have another great chapter to add to our wall.

 

Takua: Yes Turaga. It will be full of Jaller's Cheese Nips. Unless I can keep his hands off it... Oh, and his brave deeds. Or lack there of...

 

Vakama: Yeah, well it better have my brave deeds in it too... *growls*

 

Takua thinking: "This morning Vakama married an alien from outer space. Then an army of ants attacked his bride, but he fought them off bravely. Then they had a pizza."

 

Takua talking: Uh, sure, why not? ;)

 

Tahu: (to Pohatu) A Seventh Toa.

 

Pohatu: Duh. Where've you been all chapter? :huh:

 

Tahu: But why now? All the Makuta's threats have been defeated.

 

Pohatu: Who can fathom the wisdom of Mata-Nui?

 

Director: I can. I got it straight from the story team.

 

Pohatu: I'm simply-

 

Tahu: Someone who's head's full of rocks?

 

Pohatu: Uh... Happy to bring good news to the north...

 

Tahu: You travel with Gali?

 

Pohatu: Why'd you make that assumption? But no, she has gone to ponder the Great Thoughts.

 

Tahu: What a cheesy name.

 

Pohatu: Yeah, kinda...

 

( Meanwhile, at the Kini-Nui, Gali is sitting cross-legged in a circle. She then sees a seventh star in the sky. )

 

Gali: *gasp* A seventh star! ... Well that was redundant.

 

( She closes her eyes and begins to float. )

 

( Far beneath the ground, in Makuta's lair... Makuta is singing the Barney theme song with pink heart underwear on his head and wearing a My Little Bathrobe. )

 

Makuta: :OMG: *high pitched girly scream* DON'T YOU BRING A CAMERA IN HERE!!!

 

( Makuta runs to the changing room. )

 

Director: >_<... The drama of this scene is completely ruined.

 

( Makuta presently returns. )

 

Makuta: You morons better cut that bit out... *ahem* The earth shudders, my brother.

 

Earth: Do I? *shudders* I get nervous, okay!?!?

 

Makuta: Who are you...?

 

Earth: Uh, no one. *runs off*

 

Makuta: ...? The Seventh Toa has begun its approach.

 

Earth: *shudders*

 

Makuta: GO AWAY!!!

 

( Earth runs away screaming. )

 

Makuta: Planets... >_< Again the prophecies of the Matoran oppose the prophecies of the Rahi.

 

Director: ...?

 

Makuta: Must I release those who should never see the picture of me at the "Barney: Live" show? *shudders*

 

( Makuta pulls two kraata out of himself and throws them on the ground. )

 

Makuta: I must preserve your refrigerated food. Their unity can be smothered in Tobasco...

 

( As he says this, several kraata crawl into rahkshi armor and activate them. )

 

Makuta: Their duty will be tripped and laughed at. Their destiny, I must post humiliating pictures about online...

 

Director: Who hired this guy...? Can't you stick to the script?!

 

Makuta: I'm an artist, okay? I ad-lib.

 

Director: Right...

 

( The three rahkshi head towards the exit. )

 

Makuta: Go, my sons. Use the pie... And keep my cocoa-cola cold. Oh, and my brother asleep, too.

 

Guurahk: You got it Daddy!

 

Panrahk: Put a sock in it sis!

 

( Guurahk puts a sock in her mouth. )

 

Lerahk: Be quiet! Let's go do what Dad said. And then we hit the amusement park!

 

All three: Yeah!

 

Makuta: Just go...

 

( The rahkshi leave. )

 

Makuta: It seemed like just yesterday they were little worm-like freakish creatures and now they're off to destroy theme parks! They make me so proud! *sniff* I'm soo happy! *cry*

 

Director: *sigh* I'm not sure how much more of this "ad-libbing" I can take...

 

THE END


Edited by Takuaka: Toa of Time, Jan 19 2013 - 11:21 PM.

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#11 Guest_Takua the Chronicler7_*

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Posted Jan 21 2013 - 11:16 PM

HA HA HA this is so hilarious! I really liked the Makuta part. Good job!
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#12 Offline LockmanCapulet

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Posted Jan 23 2013 - 10:49 PM

This is comedy gold. Keep it up.


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#13 Offline Takuaka: Toa of Time

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Posted Jan 27 2013 - 09:28 PM

Thank you, Takua and Lockman!

 

Here's Chapter 4. Note: For those who don't know, the "Darkest Faerie" is an evil fairy from the Neopets world,

whose foretold return is heralded by massive dark purple clouds. Nixie was a Ga-Matoran that Takua supposedly had a crush on, and Larry, Moe, and Curly are the Three Stooges, a classic comedy trio.

 

 

 

Mask of Light: What You Didn't See...

 

Chapter 4: A Wild Goose Chase Begins

 

 

( Last time, Jaller was chosen as the herald and Makuta sent out his Rahkshi. Now Jaller and Takua are preparing to leave Ta-koro. )

 

Taku: *dramatically* And now the conclusion.

 

Director: Oh be quiet...

 

Vakama: Toa Pohatu has left for the north pole. He spreads peanut-butter on his tacos, and searches for Santa Claus!

 

Director: :blink:

 

Vakama: *sigh* He also spreads word of my fame. ... Oh, and of your search too...

 

Takua: Oh! Thanks! I'll take any help I can... Uh, give to Nix- Er, Jaller, for his quest. The one I want nothing to do with. :)

 

Jaller: You're a real angel, you know that?

 

Takua: I-

 

Vakama: Yep, I know it!

 

Jaller: >_<

 

Hahli: Look, don't get mushy Jaller.

 

Jaller: O_O *turns around* Oh it's you... Huh? Mushy? :???: I didn't even know you were here 'til you said that!

 

Hahli: Either way... I have no time for a long good-bye.

 

Jaller: Then why are you even here...? *reads script* Oh. I was just going to say, um... Uh... Well... Oh... MY FEET STINK! :crying:

 

Hahli: O_o

 

Jaller: And, you owe me a rematch on the kolhii field.

 

Hahli: Well then, you'd better wash your feet. ... Oh, and hurry back too, because I'll be eating Cheese Nips. And practicing.

 

( Jaller watches her walk away while Takua hops on Pewku. Suddenly, Vakama runs after her. )

 

Vakama: Hahli! Wait!

 

Hahli: Yes?

 

Vakama: In all the excitement, I forgot your winnings. Congratulations to the Ga-Koro Kolhii Team for their incredible triumph. These tokens shall bring great honor to your village.

 

( Vakama hands Hahli a trophy shaped like himself and a few Cheese Nip coupons. Unfortunately, the coupons had expired three years earlier. )

 

Hahli: Thank... You...? 0.o I think?

 

( Hahli leaves and Taku runs up. )

 

Taku: I'm supposed to come too, remember?

 

Jaller: *sigh* I was trying to forget... <_<

 

( Jaller turns around and looks at Takua sitting in Pewku. )

 

Jaller: You're bringing Pewku?

 

Takua: Um... Let's see: *checks script* Yep. Besides, I couldn't leave her behind if I wanted to. You should see her fastball. *shudders*

 

 

*flashback*

 

 

( Takua is trying to sneak out of Ta-Koro, but Pewku spots him. )

 

Pewku: HOW DARE YOU TRY AND LEAVE WITHOUT ME!?!?!?

 

( Pewku throws a rock "fastball" at Takua and knocks him unconcious. )

 

 

*end flaskback*

 

 

Pewku: Yep. Shooooore brings back memries. *day-dreams*

 

Director: MOVE, ON!!!

 

Jaller, Takua, Taku and Pewku: Okay, okay!

 

( Jaller hops on Pewku and so does Taku. )

 

Pewku: AAAHHH! You three weigh a ton! How many bowling balls have you eaten?

 

Taku: *burp* Only three... My doctor said I needed more iron.

 

Pewku: >_<

 

( Jaller accidentally bumps Takua, who tries to bump him back, but accidentally wacks Taku. Taku then tweaks both their noses and pretty soon they end up brawling like a certain Larry, Moe, and Curly. )

 

Vakama: The shadows of the Makuta are powerful. Not as powerful as me, :afro: but powerful nonetheless. Anyway, do not take your journey with a side salad. I did once, and let me tell you-

 

Director: Ahem!

 

Vakama: Um, it will tolerate none of your unity. Er, foolery.

 

( The three instantly stop fighting. )

 

Takua: Um, how will we know where to start?

 

Vakama: Oh, just trust your Turaguition. It's like intuition, only better.

 

Taku (whispering): Don't listen to him. Let's trust in the mask, let it be our guide. ;)

 

Takua: What? The... Mask? O_O IT'S ALIVE!!! SOUND THE ALARM!!!

 

Jaller: Zip it.

 

Takua: Fine...

 

( Jaller takes out the mask and it shines brightly. )

 

Jaller: Whoa! Hard to argue with that!

 

Vakama: Remember your stupid- Uh, duty, and walk in your shoes.

 

Taku: Do we even have shoes?

 

Vakama: Uh...

 

( Pewku starts walking across the bridge. )

 

Vakama: Safely, in your shoes.

 

( Meanwhile, at the Kini-Nui, Gali Nuva is still floating. )

 

Gali: I love repulsorlifts. :)

 

( She looks up and sees a flock of birds flying by. She looks farther on and sees a lot more birds fleeing from a huge dark cloud. )

 

Gali: O_O THE DARKEST FAERIE IS ATTACKING!!! SOUND THE ALARM!!!

 

( Suddenly, a bright light erupts from the Kini-Suva, and then it explodes. A green hand reaches out and grabs onto the side. )

 

Gali: IT'S GONNA EAT ME!!!

 

( Lerahk pops out of the hole. Then Panrahk. Then Guurahk. )

 

Guurahk: Panrahk! Look what you did! You brokeded the poor rocky... :(

 

( Guurahk starts putting the Kini-Suva back together. )

 

( Panrahk rolls his eyes and then shrieks upon seeing Gali. )

 

Panrahk: O_O IT'S HIDEOUS!!!

 

Gali: *gasps* Mata Nui! ... >_< I GOTTA stop doing that...

 

( Panrahk puts his staff in the ground and sends a blast at Gali. )

 

Guurahk: Vaka- Uh, Panrahk, don't!

 

( Too late. The blast goes straight at Gali. She leaps out of the way and the part of the bridge she was on explodes. The three Rahkshi hop down the rocks, following her. )

 

Panrahk: Is it dead?

 

Lerahk: Can we eat it?

 

Guurahk: Would it like to come with me to the "Barney: Live" show?

 

( They hop down to the bottom of the cliff and look in a river. They then see their reflections. )

 

Panrahk: Hey! It's an evil- No, good clone!

 

( Panrahk leans down and claws his reflection. )

 

Lerahk: Can we eat it?

 

Guurahk: *talking to her reflection* Hi there! You can be my special friend! :D

 

( Lerahk realizes it's just their reflections and drags the others away. )

 

Panrahk: Hey, stop that! Lemme at 'im!

 

Guurahk: My specal friend! Noooooo! *cry*

 

( Meanwhile, Gali is hiding in the river. The three Rahkshi go into "flight mode" by putting their legs together and pointing them straight out in front of them, upon which point they begin to float, and take off at top speed. They fly by the river and go over a waterfall, the dark cloud not far behind. Gali's head pops out of the top of the waterfall. )

 

Gali: 0_0 They're headed for Ta-Koro! Good riddance... Oh wait! I LEFT MY MAKE-UP KIT THERE! *high pitched girly scream*

 

( She leaps down the waterfall and swims past the Rahkshi. )

 

( A little later, she runs across lava-ish rocks to Ta-Koro. )

 

Guard on wall: The Toa of Water approaches! :o SOUND THE ALARM!!! THE TOA OF WATER-

 

( Gali leaps onto the wall. )

 

Gali: Is here!

 

Guard: O_O *low pitched manly scream* *faints*

 

Gali: Sound the alarm!

 

Guard: That's what I said...

 

Gali:  <_< ... Boo.

 

Guard: O_O *faints*

 

( The alarm is sounded and Gali runs past the outer wall and actually "in" to Ta-Koro. One guard lowers the bridge. Gali, Vakama, and Nokama watch on a wall. Suddenly, the Rahkshi fly out of the smoke. )

 

Nokama: Rahkshi.

 

Gali: Redundant...

 

Vakama: Shadows that cower in the depths. From me.

 

( Tahu leaps in from nowhere and blocks the Rahkshi's way. )

 

Tahu: Finally we get some action! None have breached Ta-Koro's gates before- Well, except for that one Easy Button salesman, the pizza guy, and the one time an enraged rabbit broke in, so my statement is pointless! Hit me baby!

 

( Tahu spreads his arms wide and Lerahk blasts him through the front gate. Vakama sees this from above. )

 

Vakama: Mata Nui protect us.

 

Nokama: Why? Tahu's just a suicidal maniac!

 

Vakama: Point taken.

 

( Gali runs down to help Tahu. )

 

Gali: I'm coming Honeybunches! ...  :ninja: ... I mean, Tahu! >_<

 

( She jumps in front of Panrahk and puts her Aqua Axes on his staff. He simply raises it and sends her flying. )

 

Guurahk: *gasps* You killed Jimmy! *cry*

 

Lerahk: Don't name it! Once you name it, you start getting attached to it!

 

Guurahk: :(

 

( The Rahkshi stomp around on their big feet and the Matoran run away screaming. )

 

Tahu: The Matoran!

 

( Tahu slowly rises to his feet. He charges at Panrahk, and flips over him. )

 

Tahu: Take this!

 

( Tahu hands Panrahk a hundred dollar bill. )

 

Panrahk: :o Uh... Er... Grr... BRIBERY WON'T WORK YOU COMMON PEST!!!

 

Tahu: Darn... Then take this instead!

 

( Tahu slams his swords into the ground and sends blasts of fire through it to surround Panrahk. )

 

Panrahk: The floor! It buuuuurns!!!

 

Gali: Good job. We must get the Matoran to safety now!

 

Tahu: Surrender? Good idea.

 

Gali: It's lost Tahu!

 

Tahu: What? My sanity? Duh! Let's surrender already! *walks away*

 

Gali: We need to regroup!

 

Tahu: I KNOW!

 

Gali: Oh... Heh heh...

 

THE END

 

 

Taku: Precisely whose idea was it to end a chapter in the middle of a fight, I'd like to know?

 

Director: Well...


Edited by Takuaka: Toa of Time, Jan 27 2013 - 09:39 PM.

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I have very neat hand-writing.


#14 Offline LockmanCapulet

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Posted Jan 28 2013 - 01:32 PM

Lerahk: Now put that thing back where it came from, or so help me...


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#15 Offline Takuaka: Toa of Time

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Posted Feb 05 2013 - 08:25 PM

Oh, goodness, I completely forgot about this last week.

 

Without further ado, chapter 5!

 

On a side note, whatever happened to the gasping then screaming smiley BZP used to have...?

 

 

Mask of Light: What You Didn't See...

 

Chapter 5: The Weird Snakey-Thingies...

 

 

( Last time the Rahkshi attacked Ta-Koro and we stopped in the middle of it all. Now the rampage is still going on and Guurahk smashes part of a hut's doorway. )

 

Gurahk: O_O I'm so sorry Wally! Stupid script... ( Two Matoran inside the hut faint in fear and Guurahk starts pushing rocks around. )

 

Guurahk: Tag! You're it Rocky!

 

( Guurahk now has Hahli cornered. )

 

Guurahk: Yay! You can be my special friend! Wanna come to the "Barney: Live" show with me?

 

Hahli: *gasp* Nnnoooooo!!!

 

( Gali's arm comes down suddenly into the scene and grabs Hahli, pulling her up. Meanwhile, Lerahk is sniffing around. )

 

Lerahk: Where's the hats!?

 

Gali: See the others to safety. Or whatever is closest to it.

 

Hahli: Yes Toa Gali!

 

( Hahli runs and pushes a lever. Then a trap door opens. )

 

Hahi: (while falling) Wrong leveeeeeeeer!!! *splash*

 

( She comes back up and smacks a giant fish off her behind. She then pulls the "other" lever and the bridge comes back up. Then all the Matoran run across it. )

 

( Meanwhile, Vakama is clobbering Lerahk with his staff. )

 

Vakama: Back, foul creature! One more step and I'll do a disco dance in really funky pants!

 

Lerahk: O_O

 

( Tahu leaps down beside Vakama. )

 

Tahu: I'll take it from here wise one!

 

Vakama: But I had him right where I wanted him!

 

Tahu: Just go...

 

( Vakama leaves, glaring. Tahu puts his swords together and shoots fire at Lerahk. Lerahk puts up his staff and makes it dissipate. Somehow. Even though his power is POISON. )

 

Director: He was poisoning Tahu's elemental power. I think. Or deflecting the fire with a shield of poison. Something like that, I never read the book.

 

( Okay... Lerahk runs closer to Tahu and slams his staff into the ground, flinging Tahu onto his back. )

 

Tahu: Ah, just like the good old days... :)

 

Lerahk: Can I eat it?!

 

( Lerahk hisses and tries to touch the point of his staff to Tahu, but Tahu holds it up with his arms. )

 

Tahu: Gee, those professional weight-lifting lessons sure paid off!

 

Lerahk: Cheater!

 

( Meanwhile, Gali is leading the Matoran evacuation. )

 

Gali: Hurry! Go quickly! You must find my make-up kit!

 

Matoran: *sigh* Yes Gali... *dashes off*

 

( She then sees Tahu. )

 

Gali: Brother! Be careful!

 

Tahu: What do you think I'm trying to do?!!?

 

( Gali sends a blast of water at Lerahk, knocking over both Tahu and Lerahk. Just when Tahu started winning too... )

 

Tahu: You did that on purpose!

 

Gali: Tahu! Your mask! I'm sorry!

 

Tahu: Why? It's the best thing that's happened to me since Lerahk blasted me through that wall! :D ... Besides, it's nothing.

 

( He stands up and goes after Lerahk again. Before he gets there, Lerahk slams his staff into the ground again, this time spreading poison through the rock. )

 

Gali: Poison! ... 0.o Is that even possible?

 

Director: Well... Yes. Because I say so. This is the movies.

 

Tahu: This way! Then we'll be trapped against that wall!

 

Gali: No! This way!

 

Tahu: *groans* Fine... <_<

 

( Tahu and Gali run to the lava river. Tahu then throws his lava board into the lava. )

 

Gali: Well that was stupid. You just threw away your board!

 

Tahu: I beg to differ. *jumps on board*

 

Gali (thinking) : He begged me! :D

 

Tahu: Gali! Jump on!

 

( Gali jumps on with a dreamy look on her face. )

 

Tahu: :???:

 

( Elsewhere, on a ledge over-looking Ta-Koro... )

 

Matoran: Well, where should we go from here? South America?

 

Other Matoran: Yeah!

 

Nokama: 0.o You were rather attached to Ta-Koro I see...

 

Matoran: What? That dump? This rocky ledge is much better! Look at all this lava! *jumps in lava*

 

Nokama: 0.o

 

( Gali and Tahu surf over to the ledge. Meanwhile, at Ta-Koro, the Rahkshi are smashing stuff. )

 

Guurahk: We are!?!? *cry* I can't believe you talked me into this Panny!

 

Panrahk: Can it, sis!

 

Lerahk: Where's all the food around here!?!?

 

Guurahk: *gasp* Look guys! I found a make-up kit!

 

Panrahk and Lerahk: Ooooooh....

 

( Back at the ledge... )

 

Vakama: My home... Yay! I'm going to Hawaii! *grabs sunhat and suitcase*

 

Director: Ahem!

 

Vakama: I mean: :crying:

 

Director: >_<

 

Tahu: They could've destroyed us, why didn't they? I wanna be destwoyded.

 

Gali: Ahem. *pulls out contract* Section 1,309, sub-section 12,956, page 93, paragraph 42: "Good guys don't die."

 

Tahu: 0.o Uh... Um... What!?!? Aren't contracts usually long and wordy, and don't they typically require a dictionary to understand?

 

Gali: Well, it also says "not valid in the state of Utah." And, uh... Oh, Vakama wrote it.

 

Tahu: Oh, okay.

 

Vakama: They are seekers. They want my fame and fortune.

 

Tahu: You talkin' about us? And what fame and fortune? 0.o

 

Vakama: No, no, the Rahkshi... And a guy can dream can't he? What they came for, they did not find. My fame is safe baby! Oh, yeah!

 

Gali: So what were they after?

 

Vakama: I just told you!

 

Director: Look buddy, at least she's FOLLOWING the script!

 

Vakama: Oh like I don't! *glares* Anyway, Makuta fears for his pink bunny slippers.

 

Director: >_< Why me...?

 

Gali: The Mask of Light?

 

Vakama: Yes, oddly enough.

 

Tahu: Then they seek the Seventh Toa. Jaller and Takua!

 

Vakama: The seventh Toa has a weird name...  :???:  "Jallerandtakua?" How do you know his name anyway?!

 

Gali: >_< We'll summon the other Toa to find them.

 

Vakama: To find him you mean.

 

Gali: *rolls eyes* Right, him.

 

Tahu: Don't trouble the others sister. I'll see to their... Uh, his-

 

Vakama: ^_^

 

Tahu: -safety myself.

 

Gali: Why?

 

Tahu: :D 'Cuz getting beat up is fun.

 

Gali: No, Tahu, no! We must remain united! Besides, I never found my make-up kit...

 

Tahu: I don't see how that's relevant, but... *sigh* If you insist. *glares*

 

( Elsewhere, in Le-Wahi... Takua, Jaller, and Taku are riding Pewku. )

 

Takua: Ooh! Ow! I hate the jungle. It's all sticky and full of- *smack* -bugs!

 

Jaller: How can you say that?

 

Takua: Not easily. *maniacal laughter*

 

Jaller: 0.o It's incredible! Is there anywhere on Mata Nui where you do feel at home?

 

Takua: Yep! The Black Lagoon! Muwahaha! No, wait! I meant, I don't complain about Ta-Koro.

 

Jaller: But you wander off every chance you get-

 

Takua: 'Cuz Tahu's a self-abusive maniac!

 

Jaller: -looking for stories.

 

Taku: Pie!

 

Jaller: Shut it!

 

Taku: Humph. :(

 

Jaller: (to Takua: ) What about your story?

 

Takua: You mean that book I started a thousand years ago? It's coming along nicely, I now have a title: "Bob eats a Cheeze It." All I've got is the title, though. But other than that, I have no story.

 

Taku: Hahahahahahaha!!!!! You said "but"! XD

 

Jaller: Can it! *wacks him*

 

Taku: Ow...

 

Jaller: (to Takua: ) Only because you won't stand still long enough to make one. We all have a destiny you know. Mine was to open that one pickle jar for Nokama...

 

Takua: You're very special. :) You know me, always-

 

Jaller: Full o' baloney.

 

Takua: -different. Grr...

 

( Suddenly, a loud roar is heard. Right in front of them! )

 

Takua: O_O *high pitched girly scream*

 

Jaller: Ash bear!

 

Taku: Strange, looks like a robot bear to me.

 

( Takua, Jaller, Taku, and Pewku all scream. The bear swipes at them but misses. Pewku slowly backs away from the bear as it swipes at her repeatedly. )

 

Pewku: Ha ha! I'm a bear rustler! You're all like, "I'm a big bad bear and I'm scary!" and I'm like, "not in my neighborhood! I'm a rustler!" Ha ha! Rustler-face! ... 0.o Sorry, I had coffee today...

 

Director: >_<

 

( The bear has them cornered by a tree. Then Jaller starts climbing the tree. )

 

Jaller: Keep him busy! I'm-

 

Takua: Running away and leaving me! 0_0

 

Jaller: Basically, yeah.

 

Takua: O_O AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!

 

Jaller: Just watch! *goes onto high branch, bear snarling below* Toa Tahu does this!

 

( Jaller does a body-slam onto the bear. )

 

Jaller: Ow...

 

Takua: Yep, Tahu does that alright. :annoyed:

 

( The bear starts bucking around like a bull. )

 

Jaller: Yee-haw! I'm a cowboy! Cowboy-face!

 

( Suddenly a bunch of vines come and tie up the bear. Jaller falls off and Toa Lewa, this Spirit of Air, comes down from the trees. )

 

Takua: Toa Lewa: Spirit of Air. ... I just wanted to be redundant.

 

Lewa: *gasp* I'm a spirit!? Yay! I'm a ghostie! Ghost-face!

 

Director: Will you cut the face jokes already!?

 

( Lewa, Ghost Toa, tries to go through a tree, running headlong into it. Obviously, his attempt fails miserably. )

 

Jaller: 0.o Why'd you do that?

 

Lewa: *growls* Takua said I was a spirit...

 

Takua: *blushes*

 

Lewa: Mata Nui, where did you learn to bear-fight like that, little one?

 

Jaller: Preschool.

 

Lewa: Well, I'd say you're a natural, but I would be lying, so...

 

Jaller: *sigh* Well, better finish what I started... *takes out knife*

 

Lewa: Now, now, what's that for?

 

Jaller: To pick my teeth. It's a toothpick, standard issue, for all TOP, agents.

 

Lewa: Riiiiight... You and ash bear got no wrong quarrel.

 

Jaller: Uh-huh. Except that one time she beat me at foosball...

 

Ash Bear: Good times.

 

Lewa: O_o It talks!

 

Pewku: You got a problem with that?

 

Lewa: O_O TALKING RAHI!!! SOUND THE ALARM!!!

 

Jaller: Dude, get some ice, dump it on your head, count to ten, hop on one foot, teeter on the edge of a volcano and calm down!

 

Lewa: 0.o I don't think so... Um, *checks script* Just doing her dood- Er, duty... Heh... *blushes*

 

Taku: 0_o Um... Gargonzola cheese!

 

Lewa: >_< If this were your home realm, you'd doo- I mean, do the same.

 

Jaller: Stop that!

 

( Lewa cuts the vines and the bear falls to the ground. )

 

Ash Bear: Where's the cream filling?

 

Lewa: Go now, sister bear. (to Takua, Jaller, and NOT to Taku: ) Word is, deep wood, that you seek the Seventh Toa.

 

Takua: He seeks. *points to Jaller, Taku jumps in the way* I follow. He's the herald, I'm just his biographer.

 

Lewa: If Toa Lewa helped on your search, might he be a spirit lift?

 

Taku: Why are you speaking in third person?

 

Lewa: For dramatic effect. ^_^

 

Taku: O_o

 

Takua: (to Lewa: ) You? With us?

 

Lewa: That pretty much quick-up-sums it.

 

Jaller: We'd be honored to have you walk/trip/go to the hospital with us.

 

Lewa: Walk/trip/go to the hospital? Ha! Not never! If you ride with me, they'll be no foot-trippin', just air-crashin'!

 

( Lewa whistles and suddenly a Gukko bird flies down and lands near the group. )

 

Lewa: Ever wind-fly a Gukko bird?

 

Taku: I think now's a good time for me to say something stupid, so here I go! *strains to think of something stupid* O_O *gas noise* *blush*

 

Takua: O_o Well, I've been a second, and a fourth, and even a seven thousandth, but never flown one myself...

 

Lewa: Then today's for quick-learnin'!

 

Taku: Yeah! *puts on teacher costume and points to a tree like a blackboard* Now class, let's start with something simple: 5 + 3 + 37+ 98 + 123 + 987 + 562963572 + 57037563058763870654706402780975 + 658057630856876357083465837625807563847563085763084756!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *maniacal laughter*

 

Takua: Quick! Let's ditch him!

 

Jaller: Yeah!

 

( Lewa picks up Jaller and Takua and puts them on the Gukko bird. )

 

Lewa: Stay sharp and follow well.

 

( Taku looks around confusedly, shrugs, and puts a pencil sharpener on his head. )

 

Taku: He said to stay sharp...

 

Lewa: >_<

 

( Lewa takes off and the Gukko follows. )

 

Takua: Sorry Pewku, no room! Go on home!

 

Pewku: O_O You dare to leave me behind!?!? I shall have my revenge foolish master!!! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! *cackles insanely*

 

Taku: Wait! Don't leave me too!

 

Takua: Quick! Move it!

 

Jaller: Hey...

 

Takua: Oh... One, two, three!

 

Jaller and Takua: (singing: ) I like to move it move it,

I like to move it move it,

I like to move it move it,

I like to-

 

Director: MOVE IT!!! And stop referencing other movies or we'll get sued!

 

( Takua and Jaller soar away. )

 

Taku (Arnold Shwarzeneggar voice: ) I'll be baaaaack! Grr... Come Pewku, let us plot mysteriously and add a surprise twist to this movie!

 

Pewku: Yeah! *high-fives* *or high-claws* *whichever you prefer*

 

( Pewku and Taku walk into the shadows, laughing maniacally. )

 

Director: This can't be good...

 

( Meanwhile, Takua and Jaller on the Gukko follow Lewa up through the clouds and onto an icy cliff, entering Ko-Wahi. The Gukko collapses from the cold and crashes. )

 

Jaller: I knew I should've switched to Geico...

 

( The two Matoran go flying off the Gukko bird and land in the snow. Takua picks himself up by putting his arm on Jaller's head, therefore stuffing it into the snow. )

 

Jaller: Geroffawe!

 

Takua: What?

 

Jaller: Geroffawe!

 

Takua: *grins* What's that? You give me all the money in your bank accounts? Gee, thanks!

 

Jaller: GEROFFAWE!!!

 

Takua: Fine...

 

( Takua and Jaller both get up, and clean the snow off of each other. Takua cleans Jaller a bit too vigoriously and Jaller bats his arm away. )

 

Takua: What? We're here! Welcome to the Himalayas!

 

Director: One of these days... :burnmad:

 

Jaller: Uh... *looks around and the mask shines ahead* Hey, not bad. You even kept us on the right path!

 

Lewa: The drums of Le-Koro bring a sorry-bad tale...

 

Takua: :o What? Little Timmy's fallen down the well?

 

Lewa: No...

 

Takua: The supply of Cheese Nips is gone!?!?

 

Lewa: No! *listens to drums* Your village has fallen to Rahkshi: The Makuta sons!

 

Jaller: My village? In trouble?

 

Takua: YAHOO!!! *starts dancing* No more Vakama! No more Vakama! Ooh! Ooh! No more Vakama!

 

Jaller: Ohh, I should've been there!

 

Takua: Yeah! To laugh at Vakama! HAHAHA!!!

 

Jaller: I must return!

 

Lewa: Sorry, fire-eater, past late to help now. The mask most needs you.

 

Jaller: Takua will continue in my place!

 

Takua: R-really? *sniff* What a pal!

 

Director: Ahem...

 

Takua: I mean... Uh-uh! No way! You accepted this duty!

 

Jaller: I accepted your duty!

 

Takua: O_O

 

Jaller: O_O

 

( They both burst out laughing. )

 

Lewa: *sigh* Such lunatics I work with... Stop! What is this duty quarrel? We all have a duty to Mata Nui. Mine was buying Matau that massage chair. No time to infight! I must go be with the Toa, but then I'll go to your village Jaller. Heart brea- Uh, promise.

 

Jaller: I... I can't thank you enough Toa. Well, maybe I could get Takua to change his socks...

 

Lewa: Hmm. That would work. Yes... Hmm...

 

Takua: Hey!

 

( Lewa runs to the edge of the cliff and flies away. )

 

THE END


Edited by Takuaka: Toa of Time, Feb 05 2013 - 09:09 PM.

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#16 Offline Takuaka: Toa of Time

Takuaka: Toa of Time
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Posted Feb 23 2013 - 07:36 PM

How the heck did this happen. . . ? O_o I know I was sick, but YEESH. What a gap.

 

Well, at any rate, here's Chapter 6!

 

 

Mask of Light: What You Didn't See...

 

Chapter 6:Toa of Frozen. . . Uh. . . Stuff.

 

 

( Last time Lewa left Takua and Jaller in Ko-Wahi. Now they're making their way through a blizzard. )

 

Takua: Does something here look familiar?

 

Jaller: Well, maybe our path would be straighter if someone hadn't drawn on the map with crayons!

 

Takua: *blush* But but but... I thought we were using the mask!

 

Jaller: Oh yeah... I mean, if the real herald had the mask!

 

Takua: The real herald has the mask!

 

Vakama: *gasps* I do not!

 

Jaller: What're you doing here? 0.o

 

Vakama: Uh... o_o Nothing. *dashes off*

 

Jaller: Okay...

 

Takua: I couldn't find water if I fell out of a canoe!

 

Jaller: Yeah? Well I couldn't find grape-juice if I stepped on a clump of grapes!

 

Takua: Yeah? Well I couldn't find pain if I slapped myself!

 

Jaller: Grr... I couldn't find bad weather if I was in the Bermuda Triangle!

 

Takua: The what? 0.o

 

Jaller: Um... Well what do you think I can find!? *trips on a treasure chest* Oof! What? :o WOW!

 

Takua: What is it?

 

Jaller: GOLD! Whoo-hoo! I'm rich! I'm-

 

Taku: We'll take that!

 

( Taku and Pewku run by and take the treasure. )

 

Jaller: NOOOOO!!!!! My precious! :cries: GRR!

 

( Jaller starts to chase them but runs into something. )

 

Takua and Jaller: *gasps* AAAAHHH!!!! BOHROK!!! SOUND THE ALARM!!!

 

Bohrok: Dude, we're frozen in ice.

 

Takua: 0_o Uh...

 

Jaller: Frozen? What could do this to them?

 

Takua: Freezer beams! Just a push of a button and POOF! Instant frozen *insert random thing here*! Isn't that conveniant? And, if you call NOW, we'll give you-

 

( The Director starts tapping his foot. )

 

Takua: 0_0 Shutting up. *ziiip*

 

( Suddenly, footsteps can be heard and a shadow looms over Jaller and Takua. Oh no! I can't look! Is this the end? IS THIS THE END!? )

 

Takua: We're gonna die!

 

( Then Kopaka comes forward. )

 

Takua: 0_0 AAAAAAHHH!!!!! o_o *high pitched girly scream* O_O AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

 

Kopaka: Stop that!

 

Takua: :rolleyes:

 

( Kopaka takes out his staff and absorbs the blizzard. )

 

Takua: I can see clearly now the snow is gone,

I can see all obstacles in my- *walks into wall* Ow! Who put that wall there? *grumbles about incompetent stage coordinators*

 

Jaller: Kopaka, Toa of Ice. *bows*

 

Kopaka: Don't wear it out.

 

Jaller: How did you find us?

 

Kopaka: Satellite tracking system. :)

 

Jaller: 0.o

 

Kopaka: Besides, it was you who were following me.

 

Jaller: We were?

 

Kopaka: Yes.

 

Jaller: Well, we're on a mission. I suppose you've heard of it?

 

Kopaka: Negative.

 

Jaller: Well, we've been sent to find the Seventh Toa.

 

Kopaka: Pi. I'm listening.

 

Jaller: 0_o Uh... You see, Takua here was in a tunnel where the lava likes to break dance- I mean where the lava break is. Where he's not supposed to be by the way...

 

( Meanwhile, back at the ledge near Ta-Koro... )

 

Tahu: Ta-Koro is gone Lewa, buried by the very lava that sustained it.

 

Gali: And I left my make-up there! :cries:

 

Tahu: I left mine there too... <_<

 

Lewa: O_0

 

Tahu: :o Wait, you didn't hear that!

 

Lewa: Ha ha, this is totally going on Facebook!

 

Tahu: Nooooooo!!!

 

Gali: Ooh, awkard moment... Wait, is it my line? Oh. *gasps* Tahu... *touches his mask*

 

Lewa: Ah, "the moment"... *holding a movie camera* Now lean in...

 

Gali: HEY! *smashes camera*

 

Lewa: :cries:

 

Tahu: What is it? Do I have a bug on me? Getitoffgetitoffgetitoff! :cry:

 

Gali: No, it's a scratch...

 

Tahu: Oh... *bats hand away* You worry about scratches? My village is gone! Your power was nothing but a nuisance, MY power, was nothing but a nuisance...

 

Lewa: We are same-hearted brother. Remember when we had a transplant?

 

Tahu: Eww, don't remind me.

 

Lewa: And that heart will quicken us to stop the evil spread.

 

Tahu: What evil? The one that obliterated my dump of a home?

 

Lewa: Erm... Yes.

 

Gali: First, we must be united. Together, we are... Well, pretty useless I guess...

 

Director: I should have found actors with more self-esteem... >_>

 

Tahu: ^_^ I couldn't agree more. Oh, hang on... *checks script* Oh... *pushes away from them and walks away*

 

Director: And better script-memorization abilities. :sarcastic: The studio isn't paying me nearly enough for this...

 

( Meanwhile, Jaller and Takua are still following Kopaka. )

 

Takua: Are we there yet?

 

Kopaka: No.

 

Takua: Are we there yet?

 

Kopaka: No.

 

Takua: Are we there yet!?

 

Kopaka: NO! STOP ASKING ALREADY!!! ... *sighs, norices something and gasps* Ko-Koro...

 

( Kopaka uses the telescope built-in his mask to zoom in on Ko-Koro, where he sees Taku and Pewku causing havoc. Suddenly, a huge bolt of energy comes at Takua and Jaller. Kopaka pushes them out of the way and they start running. )

 

Taku: Wow. Hyper death-ray. Nice touch Pewku. ;)

 

Pewku: I thought you'd like that.

 

( Meanwhile, Jaller and Takua are about to run off a cliff by mistake. )

 

Kopaka: Stop! *stops them by holding his sword out in front of them*

 

Takua: :o You saved me! *hugglesquishes*

 

Kopaka: Yeah... Don't make me... Regret it... Can't... Breathe...

 

Takua: Sorry! *lets go*

 

( Suddenly, the Rahkshi come out of nowhere. Kopaka puts his shield down in front of Jaller and Takua. )

 

Kopaka: Go!

 

Takua: The Captain of the Historians never- Wait, isn't this Jaller's line?

 

Jaller: Whatever! *pushes Takua onto the shield and they both start sliding down the cliff* Wheeeeee!

 

Takua: :takepic: Now THIS is sight-seeing! ^^

 

Panrahk: Muwahaha! All your Toas are belong to us!

 

Guurahk: Stop that! He'll be my new best friend!

 

Kopaka: O_O NOOO!!! Anything but that!

 

Lerahk: Can we eat it?

 

Panrahk: >_> *blasts Kopaka off cliff*

 

Kopaka: *highly dignified scream of terror* I'm gonna die.

 

Guurahk: Nooooo! Think, Luke, use the Fork!

 

Kopaka: The what...? Oh bother with all this. *does the obvious thing in a dangerous situtation, and checks the script* Aha!

 

( Kopaka throws his swords out in front of them, lands on them, and uses them as skiis. )

 

Takua: *snaps a photo of him*

 

( Kopaka starts showing off in a dignified way for Takua to take pictures, but then trips and gets knocked unconcious. Meanwhile, Jaller shows himself to be one of the worst drivers the world has ever seen and crashes the shield. Then the Rahkshi close in. )

 

Takua: Jaller! *shakes him*

 

Jaller: Stop it! I'm fine!

 

Takua: Oh... Gimme the mask!

 

Jaller: Why?

 

Takua: Um... Because the paddles for my canoe broke and I need to use the mask...

 

Jaller: Oh, okay! *forks it over*

 

( Takua takes the mask and starts paddling across the lake with it, using Kopaka's shield as a boat, but the Rahkshi are too fast. They try to grab Takua, but just then Kopaka wakes up and zaps them with a blast of ice. )

 

Guurahk: How could you!?

 

Lerahk: I always wanted to go swimming...

 

Panrahk: CANNONBALL!!!

 

Kopaka: Rahkshi, dirtied and heated. *turns lake into steam*

 

Jaller: ... o.o Whaaat? That's not how it goes!

 

Director: And I pay good money for people to do things BY THE SCRIPT!

 

Kopaka: Bah. *freezes steam* Nobody appreciates art.

 

Makuta: Amen to that Brother.

 

Kopaka: O_o

 

( A hand reaches out to grab Takua but freezes solid. )

 

Takua: *high pitched- oh never mind* Haha! ^_^ That's why you don't mess with TAKUA THE INVINCIBLE! *does a jig* *trips* Ow...

 

( Kopaka walks across the ice to Takua, Jaller following. )

 

Kopaka: Good moves.

 

Takua: Haha! That's 'cuz everybody loves kung-fu fighti-ing!

 

Makuta: Ohohoho!

 

Takua: Those people move fast as-

 

( Just then the Director shoves Makuta out of the scene and glares at Takua. )

 

Makuta: Actually, I meant to bring this up before, but my name is Teridax!

 

Director: I don't care, get out off the set! It's not your scene!

 

Makuta: I'll be baaack...

 

( Jaller, Takua, and Kopaka sit around and stare at each other. )

 

Director: It's Takua's line!

 

Takua: Oh! Um... Even I get lucky sometimes.

 

Director: >_>

 

Kopaka: *fixes Takua's askew mask* Not luck. It's what you do that makes a hero. Wait, what am I saying? This is Takua we're talking about!

 

Takua: Hey!

 

( Suddenly, Pewku runs up. )

 

Jaller: No, stop, Pewku!

 

Takua: Pewku! *spreads arms*

 

Pewku: How DARE you leave me behind!?!?

 

( Pewku jumps on top of Takua and proceeds to pummel him. )

 

Jaller: Wow. She must have come all the way through the jungle. I wonder where Taku is...

 

( Meanwhile, in Ko-Koro, Taku is in prison. )

 

Taku: Lemme out o' here! Where's my one phone call!? I WANNA LAWYER!!!

 

Guard: Quit whining! You've been in there five minutes!

 

Taku: Old joke, not funny.

 

( Back to the others... )

 

Pewku: Long story.

 

( Kopaka walks away. )

 

Jaller: Not bad, maybe Pewku should be the herald-

 

Takua: Don't give her any ideas! *owch!*

 

Jaller: -eh, Toa Kopaka? *sees he's gone* He just left us here!

 

Takua: Here Pewku, I'll give you a cookie, then you calm down, got it?

 

Pewku: Cookies... *wolfs down the cookies*

 

Takua: Augh! Not too many or you'll get fat! Oh, my line. He must see to his village...

 

( Takua picks up the mask and they continue their journey. )

 

THE END


Edited by TahuNuvaFan, Feb 23 2013 - 07:36 PM.

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#17 Offline Takuaka: Toa of Time

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Posted Apr 05 2013 - 07:14 PM

I seem to have lost all my adoring fans. . . Ah, well.

 

Well, I now present Chapter 7!

 

Chapter 7: Where there are Dashwos

 

 

( Last time, Kopaka helped Takua and Jaller- )

 

Pewku: And me!

 

( ... -and her, fight off the Rahskhi. )

 

Pewku: But I came in after that scene!

 

( Which I suppose must be exactly why I didn't mention you! Now then, now they're about to enter a cave. )

 

Takua: *reading a sign* "The Grammar Hammer pawns all." The what???

 

Jaller: Must be some new kind of yogurt.

 

Takua: Doesn't look like it's been used in a while. Could be full of dangers, bears, bats, and perhaps even Makuta-

 

Jaller: Yeah, like that could happen! :lol:

 

Takua: -himself... Well, let's go!

 

Jaller: ... Erm, we don't have a lightstone.

 

Pewku: Wait a second... Isn't that Takua's line?

 

Takua: Hah! Who needs lightstones? *shines mask*

 

( Takua lets the Mask shine its light in front of him and proceeds to enter the cavern. )

 

Pewku: And that was Jaller's line! Oh, well. *follows*

 

Jaller: *slams foot* Tunnels... Is the director even paying attention anymore?

 

Director: *snore* ...Wha?

 

( They explore around, but Jaller gets seperated and finds some strange glowing plants. )

 

Jaller: Hey... Hmm.

 

( Jaller grabs two of the glowing plants and holds them up against his head, giving him the appearance of having large rabbit ears. )

 

 Jaller: ^_^ Hey, Takua! Hahaha! *doesn't see him* Takua?

 

Makuta: Takua...

 

Jaller: Err, I think he went for a cup o' joe... Where ARE they? *looks around*

 

Makuta: Takua...

 

Jaller: Takua? Takua! *runs* *into a wall* X_x Who put that there?

 

Makuta: Dashwos are everywhere...

 

Jaller: ... What are everywhere?

 

Makuta: Dashwos. It's an anagram.

 

Jaller: Uh...

 

Makuta: And where they're not... I'm not either.

 

( Suddenly two giant, pure red eyes appear in the shadows, staring intently at Jaller. )

 

Makuta: Wait... You're not Takua.

 

Jaller: I know who you are. You're that Easy Button salesman who breached Ta-Koro's gates!

 

Makuta: Err... Sure.

 

Jaller: I'm... I'm not afraid.

 

Makuta: Of what? Oh, right. Even my dashwos cannot hide your desire to buy an Easy Button... Or the truth.

 

Jaller: How much for one? And what truth?

 

Makuta: Ten widgets. And that you will not find the Seventh Toa... And deep down, you know it.

 

Jaller: Wow! I can't afford NOT to get it at that price! And so I won't. Maybe Jaller will.

 

Makuta: ... You ARE Jaller...

 

Jaller: Oh, right. Maybe Takua will, then. :)

 

Makuta: Well, er... Oh! Then buy an Easy Button! And and if he doesn't, he will die because of you.

 

Jaller: Cool! *hands over the widgets* Wait, aren't I the one to die?

 

Makuta: Technicalities, never liked 'em. *hands over the Easy Button* Bring me the mask, Tak- No, Jaller, oh I'm so confused...

 

Jaller: I will not hand over the Mask! It's so shiny.

 

Makuta: Bring it to me, and you won't lose your friend.

 

Jaller: Friend? Takua? Hmm... Nah, I'll keep the mask. :)

 

Takua: Hey!

 

Jaller:  :???: You're not here...

 

Takua: Nope. I'm just an imaginary figmentation brought on by stress. :)

 

Makuta: >_< Ignore him. Bring me the mask!

 

Jaller: No! I won't let everyone down!

 

( Jaller begins to run away. )

 

Makuta: You fail them more if you refuse. For the mask, your villages and Jaller, uh, you, will... be spared? Whatever. Don't be a fool.

 

Jaller: Yeah, that's Takua's job. Besides, I can't!

 

( Jaller cowers against the wall while Makuta's shadows close in... only for them to be interrupted by the timely arrival of Jaller's missing friend, at the sight of which the shadows fade away. )

 

"Real" Takua: Takua! Err, Jaller! The mask is pointing this way.

 

Jaller: Okay... Can we switch our roles back now?

 

Takua: Sure. *hands over mask*

 

Director: This is so confusing. :bigsmile:

 

Jaller: I think he's finally given up on us.

 

Director: I figure if you're all going to act like nutjobs and ruin the movie, I may as well enjoy it. I am so not looking forward to the editing room, however.

 

Jaller: Ah.

 

( Jallers walks away with Pewku, and Takua follows cautiously. )

 

Jaller: So, where'd you wander off to?

 

Takua: I didn't... You did... Oh, wait. Jaller, um, about the mask.

 

Jaller: What about it?

 

Takua: I used your toothbrush to clean it yesterday.

 

Jaller: :blink: Gross! Well, are you ready to take it... Finally? Seeing as you are the herald and we both know it.

 

Takua: I've had it all chapter... But anyway, I can't. I can't go with you.

 

Jaller: What? Why? Did you have a run-in with Makuta?

 

Takua: *thinking* How did he know? *talking* I... I can't explain.

 

Jaller: Oh, that's just great. First you stick me with your duty, and then you ditch me?

 

Takua: Basically, yeah. Besides, my duty is to myself! I quit! Just take the mask and go have some Cheese Nips!

 

Jaller: Fine, but I won't give up. I'll find the Seventh Toa whether you're the true herald or not!

 

( Vakama suddenly appears out of nowhere. )

 

Vakama: But, ahem, I'm the true herald! Everyone knows that...

 

Jaller: You again?

 

Vakama: Yep. I had some time to kill, and I figured I'd see how you two were doing. How's my chapter going?

 

Takua: What...?

 

Vakama: Ahem.

 

*flashback*

 

Takua: Yes Turaga. It will be full of Jaller's Cheese Nips. Unless I can keep his hands off it... Oh, and his brave deeds. Or lack there of...

 

Vakama: Yeah, well it BETTER have MY brave deeds in it too... *growls*

 

*end flashback*

 

Vakama: *growls*

 

Takua: Oh... It's uh, coming along nicely... *thinking* And during the honeymoon of Vakama and his space alien bride, they were suddenly attacked by a prickly purple people-eater. Vakama fought it off valiantly and then realized he was in desperate need of unicycle lessons.

 

Vakama: Good. Now to go clean my dentures... *rushes off*

 

( So Takua goes off with Pewku and Jaller goes on his own. )

 

Makuta: Ho... My willgood denied... My brave children... Stuck in frozen water. So my hand is in a cast... Now I must pierce... That which the Toa hold dear... THEIR TEDDY BEARS!!! *manical laughter* Oh, anger amongst them will threaten their precious foolery. Hunger will consume their stupidity. And fear will keep them from their density...

 

( Makuta turns his gaze upon a giant Hau carved into the wall. )

 

Makuta: They will disturb you...

 

( Meanwhile, in Onu-Koro, Onua and Pohatu are thumb-wrestling. )

 

Pohatu: I'll never give in! You killed my father!

 

Onua: No Buzz, or Luke, I can never decide, I am your father!

 

( Then Onua gains the upper hand and pins Pohatu's thumb down. )

 

Pohatu: Noooooo! Oh poo. You win again.

 

Onua: :P

 

Pohatu: Onua, my father, it seems bashing granite is treating you well!

 

Bashing Granite: Ya' got that right. *continues massaging Onua*

 

Onua: I little lower... Ah, that's it. Ha ha! Pohatu, my son, look around you. Mining has never been better.

 

Mi Ning: *sneeze* I think I got a disease...

 

Onua: Okay, so maybe she has been better... You should join me at digging for treasure sometime, Pohatu. Try doing a real job!

 

Pohatu: Oh, and building houses with cards isn't a real job?

 

Onua: Not really... Say, how goes the building?

 

Pohatu: Their work is magnificent. Or it would be, if the stupid cards weren't so fragile. Erego, nowhere near as good as the other tidings I bring.

 

( Onua and Pohatu step up onto a stage. )

 

Pohatu: Matoran of Onu-Koro... My original edition of the very first Bionicle comic signed by Greg Farshtey, has been found!

 

Crowd: :???: 

 

Pohatu: What? Oh, fine. The Mask of Light has been found too.

 

Crowd: Hooray!!!

 

Random Matoran in Crowd: Boo! *throws tomato*

 

Pohatu: *splat* No! It can't be! I thought you were in jail!

 

Taku: Muwahaha... There's no stopping Taku THE INVINCIBLE!!!

 

Takua: That's my line!

 

Director: Gah! You're not supposed to come in yet!

 

Takua: Yeah, well, I finished my cup o' joe and whipped Pewku at thumb-wrestling, so I decided to come early.

 

Pewku: You only beat me because I have no thumbs.

 

Director: Right... *sigh* Keep at it, then.

 

Pohatu: Right. Where were we? Ah, yes. Jaller, the Captain of the guard of Ta-Koro and Takua the Chronicler even now seek the Seventh Toa!

 

Taku: Bah. Who needs 'im? We've got dingly balls!

 

( Taku brandishes a row of little balls that dingle when you shake them. )

 

Taku: Huh, huh? :D 

 

Pohatu: Dingly balls. :br: Okay, maybe MY news wasn't so great.

 

Crowd: Dingly balls?!

 

( The crowd of Matoran becomes suddenly enraged and proceeds to advanced toward Taku in order to proceed to dog pile on top of him. )

 

Taku: What's wrong with dingly balls? O_O *splut*

 

( Takua, who has been so far unnoticed, rides Pewku into the sunset, or at least through the crowd to the stage. )

 

Pohatu: Chronicler, where is the herald?

 

Takua: At home. He doesn't have any more scenes today. ... Oh, wait, we're filming aren't we? Erm, we got seperated... *sweatdrop* After we met the Rahkshi.

 

Pohatu: Rockshe?

 

Onua: What is Rockshe?

 

Rockshe: Yuh yuh yuh, that'd be me, the coolioest celebrity to eva rock Mata-Nui. ARE YOU READY TO ROCK!?

 

Onua: o.o

 

( The cave rumbles, and the chamber begins to collapse. )

 

Rockshe: *high pitched girly scream* This wasn't in the brochure! Let's hit the road guys!

 

( Rockshe and his/her band hightail it out of there. Then a wall explodes and the three Rahkshi, Turahk, Kuurahk, and Vorahk come in. )

 

Takua: Those! Except, different ones!

 

Pohatu: Just those are plenty for now!

 

Turahk: Hello Mata-Nui! Are you ready to raaaaaahk!?!?

 

Kurahk: Stop it! How many times do I have to tell you, you are not a rahk-star!

 

Turahk: :(

 

Vorahk: I'm hungry. I want food...

 

Takua: The others were more intelligent, I think.

 

Lerahk: I resent that!

 

Kurahk: Hey! You're not here!

 

Lerahk: Oh, right. Besides, Onua's about to bury you in rubble. *poof*

 

Kurahk: He's gonna do what?

 

Onua: Welcome to Onu-Koro!

 

( Onua sends a sphere of elemental energy into the ceiling, which causes it to collapse on the three Rahkshi. )

 

Kurahk: Aaaahh! Motheeeer!

 

( Meanwhile, the crowd is screaming and running past Takua towards the entrance. )

 

Takua: Come on Pewku! Let's pretend to get out of here but really take pictures of the Rahkshi!

 

Pewku: Okay!

 

( They "pretend" to leave. )

 

Director: Well, this would be a dumb place to stop, but we're already running late, so...

 

THE END

 

What will happen to the assembled crowd of Onu-Matoran? Will they and the Toa make it out in time? Are the Rahkshi beaten for good or will they return for a sequel? Will Taku and Pewku get any decent pictures?! For all this and more, stay tuned for the next episode, coming next week! Same Bionicle day, (I hope) same Bionicle forum!


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#18 Offline Gengar

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Posted Apr 05 2013 - 07:46 PM

It's back. Anyways, this chapter was really funny, like when Pewku said that she didn't have thumbs.
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#19 Offline Takuaka: Toa of Time

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Posted May 09 2013 - 10:48 PM

Alright, I forgot this again. But I have a good reason this time! The last month has been crazy... And I've been helping out with the forthcoming Ambage Anthology. ;)

 

Also, this next chapter is pretty long, so hopefully that helps to make up for the delay. Hopefully the jokes are good, not tiresome. XP Remember, only five chapters left!

 

Without further ado...

 

Chapter 8: The Rahk Concert

 

( Last time, three new Rahskshi attacked Onu-Koro and were buried in rubble. Now, everyone's fleeing. )

 

Random Matoran: We're gonna die! We're gonna die! Okay, okay, breathe in, breathe out. Picture a happy place. Ah... See? Everything's gonna be okay. Yeah! ^_^

 

( Suddenly, the Rahkshi burst out of the rubble. )

 

Random Matoran: O_O AHAHAAAAAA!!! WE'RE GONNA DIE!!! *runs*

 

Turahk: Run Jedi run... You have only prolonged the inevitible. The inevitible being my Rahk concert... *cough*

 

Kurahk: >_<

 

Vorahk: I'm hungry! ... Hey, wait, there's food!

 

Onua: Oh, no, you don't!

 

( Vorahk jumps towards Onua, who leaps towards him. They meet upon landing. )

 

Vorahk: Ah... Trying to stop me, eh? I challenge you... *extends thumb*

 

Onua: Oh, yeah? I have mastered 147 forms of Thumb-Fu.

 

( Vorahk hisses in reply, and the two begin thumb-wrestling. )

 

Pohatu: Ooh! You're in trouble now Rahkshi!

 

Onua: Actually, *ungh!* he's pretty, *yikes!* good! *struggles*

 

( Finally, Vorahk succeeds in pinning down Onua's thumb. )

 

Vorahk: Ha ha!

 

Onua: O_O I... I, lost... *faints from shock*

 

Vorahk: Lunch-time! ^_^

 

Kurahk: Eww. You're gonna eat THAT? I prefer a burger and fries myself...

 

Vorahk: *belch* Rocks taste better. ;)

 

Pohatu: Onua! O_O

 

( Pohatu runs over to rescue Onua but gets zapped by Turahk. )

 

Pohatu: Oh no... Fear waves... I see my worst nightmare... I failed at the 6th grade spelling bee! Noooooo!

 

Taku: Oh, no! The Rahkshi are winning! Okay, I was causing some havoc before, but this... I'd say it's time to hero up...

 

( Taku plays "Hero" on his boombox, grabs a kolhii stick and attacks the Rahkshi wildly. )

 

Kurahk: O_o Really?

 

Taku: KIYI KIYI KIYI!!! *wacks Kurahk* *stick snaps in half and he gasps* O_O You killed Jimmy! *cry*

 

Kurahk: -_-

 

( Taku runs off in tears. Elsewhere, Takua passes a rock leaning on a kolhii stick. )

 

Takua: What have I done? Besides beat Taku at thumb-wrestling, that is. *cackles and grabs stick* *rock falls over* Hyah, Pewku!

 

Pewku: Do I look like some dumb animal!?

 

Takua: Err... Do I have to answer that?

 

Pewku: ... I guess not...

 

Takua: Let's go! Vorahk's nibbling Onua's fingers... O_o

 

Vorahk: Tasty...

 

Pewku: Eww! *lunges forward*

 

( They rush up to Kurahk and Takua starts wacking him with his stick. )

 

Takua: Take that! And that! Your breath is horrible!

 

Kurahk: Again? Seriously? What is with you Matoran these days? Wait a second, what's that about my breath?! That's just rude!

 

( Kurahk grabs the kolhii stick, trying to bite Takua. Taku is forced to drop the stick and runs off a bit. Meanwhile, Turahk is practicing his rahk, and Vorahk is watching. )

 

Turahk: Uh-huh! That's how Brittany learned to dance! ^_^

 

Vorahk: Who's Brittany?

 

Turahk: Um...

 

Tahu: Rahkshi!

 

Turahk: Yay! More fans for our audience!

 

Kurahk: Err, these are the dangerous, over-obsessive, try-to-run-you-over kind of fans...

 

( Kurahk blasts Tahu with anger energy, who then drops his swords and begins to shake violently. )

 

Turahk: Ooh, thanks for the warning, bro. *starts dancing*

 

Takua: No! Tahu! ... You owed me money! *cry*

 

Kurahk: Get Puny!

 

( All the Rahkshi surround Pewku, Tahu and Takua. )

 

Kurahk: *Darth Vader breathing* I have you now.

 

( But then, a green blur flies by and grabs Takua and Pewku. )

 

Lewa: Wind-fly!

 

Kurahk: Where'd Puny go? :(

 

Vorahk: Up there. *points*

 

Kurahk: Grr... Get him!

 

( The Rahkshi take to the air and follow. Gali, who also just showed up, attends to Tahu. )

 

Gali: Brother!

 

( She reaches down to touch the shoulder of Tahu, who had been lying facedown in the dirt. At her touch, he lifts himself up with an angry snarl. )

 

Tahu: Fire has no brothers!

 

Gali: How about sisters?

 

Tahu: Hmm... *thinks* No, none of them either!

 

Gali: :(

 

Tahu: Fire consumes all!

 

( Tahu picks up his swords and launches huge blasts of fire at Gali, but she leaps up onto a stalactite and out of the way. )

 

Gali: How could you?! *cry*

 

( Meanwhile, Lewa crashes to the ground. )

 

Lewa: Whee! Ow. Another perfect air-crash! :D

 

Takua: X_x

 

Pewku: My eye-stalks hurt...

 

Lewa: Quick-speed to Jaller. Warn him.

 

Takua: Warn him? Of what? The Rahkshi?

 

Lewa: No, a 747. *end sarcasm* Of course the Rahkshi! *flies away*

 

Takua: Alright, alright, don't be so pushy...

 

( Pewku walks away. )

 

Takua: Pewku! Where are you going? I wanna watch the Toa get pummelled!

 

Pewku: What about warning Jaller?

 

Takua: *whiny voice* Aww, c'mon, we can do that after the Toa get pummelled...

 

Pewku: And when we get pummelled!?

 

Takua: Mmm, point taken. C'mon girl!

 

Pewku: Duh.

 

Takua: That a girl, Pewku.

 

Pewku: Duh.

 

( Pewku starts climbing a shaft, but then a Rahkshi punches a hole through it right next to them. )

 

Pewku: Duh.

 

Turahk: Darn! I missed! Get back here you two, and see my concert!

 

Takua: No way! Your music sounds like monkeys in a zoo!

 

Turahk: Ooh, that's it! Now you're goin' down!

 

( Outside, the three Rakshi continue climbing the shaft. Meanwhile, Onua and Pohatu are lamenting their unfortunate circumstances. )

 

Onua: Oh, my home...

 

Pohatu: Snap out of it! We can't let Turahk torture Onu-Koro with his concert!

 

Onua: No, no, we're all doomed... Doomed...

 

Pohatu: No, we're not doomed! We just have to try! Don't do it for me, or even for the Koros, but for Matoran everywhere!

 

Onua: You're right... I have to try. *game face*

 

( Pohatu throws his claw tools across the cave at Turahk, which strike his wrists and pin him to the wall. Then Onua causes the ceiling to collapse, which again buries the Rahkshi in rubble. In fact the whole area begins to collapse, but luckily all the Matoran have left. )

 

Pohatu: Good work! But how did you keep it from collapsing on US too?

 

Onua: Well, I actualy have a very specific method to that. It's actually very complicated, but I think that with a few minutes of discussion I can help you to grasp the basic con-

 

( Unfortunately, whatever the method was, it apparently failed, as the ceiling above the two noble Toa begins to collapse on them as well. )

 

Pohatu: Gah! No time, no time, move it!

 

Onua: But I love explaining these things! It'll only take a min-

 

( And with that, the two of them are buried in rubble. Meanwhile, Gali is dousing Tahu with streams of water. )

 

Gali: Tahu, remember who you are!

 

Tahu: You know why I can't do that, Dave... I've gone nuts.

 

Gali: Haven't we all?

 

Tahu: Er... I know! I have brought peace, security, and justice to my new empire!

 

Gali: The Empire of the Skrall, perhaps?

 

Tahu: The what? O_o

 

Gali: Uh... Remember your density! *giggle*

 

Tahu: I... have... no... density!

 

Gali: Denial.

 

( Just then Kopaka freezes Tahu into a block of solid ice. )

 

Kopaka: Sorry, brother.

 

Tahu: S'alright.

 

Kopaka: o.0

 

Gali: Brothers, let's take him to safety.

 

Kopaka: Do we have to? He is a suicidal maniac after all. -.-

 

Gali: Point taken, but... It's in the script.

 

Kopaka: :/ Fine.

 

( Gali, Kopaka, and Lewa flee the collapsing village, carrying Tahu between them via tractor beam. )

 

Kopaka: My own invention. ^^

 

Director: O_o Oh, great. We've gone space fantasy.

 

( Kopaka flips on his light- )

 

Director: NO! Stop breaking the fourth wall!

 

Kopaka: *whiny voice* Aww!

 

( Meanwhile, Taku and Pewku reach the top of the shaft they were climbing, which takes them to Ko-Wahi. )

 

Takua: Well, Ta-Koro, Onu-Koro, and possibly Ko-Koro, are destroyed. Tahu's lost it worse than normal, and Pohatu and Onua are buried under rubble! Could things get any worse?!

 

Pewku: Well, we could be buried under rubble, too...

 

Takua: Or our Cheese Nip rations could run out.

 

Pewku: Err... *burp* There aren't any Cheese Nips left.

 

Takua: You ATE the last of our Cheese Nips?!?!

 

Pewkua: Uh... Heheh... I was hungry, okay?! The only food the caterer brought was es car go and frog legs!

 

Takua: *sigh* Well, then things couldn't get any worse!

 

Pewku: Maybe Jaller has more Cheese Nips.

 

Takua: Hmm... Maybe. Yes... Hmm... Good idea. Come on, Pewku. Let's go find Jaller.

 

( Takua hops on her back and they go off in search of Jaller. )

 

( In Le-Wahi, Tahu struggles vainly against his bindings in the form of Gali's aqua fins, which pin him down on a large rock. )

 

Tahu: Ergh! Argh! You can't do this to me! I'm the hero here!

 

Gali: The poison is destroying him.

 

Tahu: Yahoo! Finally, something decent happens to me! After getting blasted by the first three Rahkshi, this is the best thing that's happened to me all movie! I'm poisoned! Yeehah!

 

Gali: We must counteract it.

 

Tahu: *whiny voice* Aww!

 

Gali: His life depends on it.

 

Kopaka: Do you know the cure?

 

Lewa: Chocolate! Cures everything from Dementor attacks to bad breath!

 

Gali: Perhaps, but we must act. Let us summon all the healing powers we posess. Lewa, ready his Cheese Nips.

 

Lewa: And the chocolate...

 

( Lewa holds up Tahu's sword, which has been covered in Cheese Nips, and also tipped with a chocolate bar, while Kopaka holds up his own sword, likewise decorated, minus the chocolate bar. They cross their swords over Tahu's chest and attempt to heal him, though it looks more like he's being electrocuted. Just then a random Matoran passes by. )

 

Random Matoran Passerby: :o Oh no! They're torturing him! THE TOA HAVE GONE MAD!!! *runs away screaming*

 

Gali: ...Who was that?

 

Kopaka: Dunno.

 

Tahu: I feel it! I feel the power! Let it begin! LET IT BEGIN!

 

Galia: That's enough!

 

Tahu: Oh, come on!

 

( Lewa and Kopaka raise the swords while Tahu twitches dementedly. Gali forms a sphere of water energy with her hands and pours it over Tahu, forming a large bubble around him. )

 

Tahu: Oh, that's no fun... -.-

 

( The bubble washes down over Tahu, leaving his mask clean of infection, and the rest of him clean and shiny as well. )

 

Tahu: Well, alright, I give. That was kinda cool. I couldn't ask for a better wax job. Could you try that on my car?

 

( Gali falls back from exhaustion, but Kopaka catches her. )

 

Kopaka: You did all you could.

 

( Gali and Kopaka head for a stream nearby, where Gali sticks her arms in and absorbs water energy. )

 

Gali: Kopaka, do you think the Turaga were right about us?

 

Kopaka: No. We do not squabble like gukkos over a berry.

 

Gali: What? Sure we do!

 

Kopaka: We do not.

 

Gali: Yes we do!

 

Kopaka: We do NOT.

 

Director: >_<

 

Gali: Wait, wait, I meant are they right that we've lost our foolery? Uh, unity?

 

Kopaka: Hmm... Let me see here...

 

( Kopaka digs around in his armor's pockets. )

 

Kopaka: Let's see... *starts tossing stuff onto the ground* Pogo stick, ball of yarn, lasagna recipe, bicycle wheel, soda can, My Little Po- Er, nevermind! What else... Computer keyboard, Wii remote, Cheese Nips, autographed nail clippers, frozen yogurt... Sorry, I can't find it.

 

Gali: Uh...

 

Kopaka: ... What's my line? *checks script* Oh, right. That.

 

( Kopaka walks away pointedly. )

 

Gali: Kopaka? ... Kopaka...

 

( Elsewhere, Jaller is climbing the side of a cliff. )

 

Jaller: My yoga class... is at the top... of this cliff... I... can... do this!

 

( He reaches the top of the ledge and climbs up to see... Another cliff. )

 

Jaller: O_O I'll never get to do my yoga.

 

Director: Don't forget your line, kid. -.-

 

Jaller: Right... *sigh* Mata-Nui, where does my destiny lie?

 

( A tremor shakes the cliffs, knocking Jaller over the edge. He manages to hang on to the edge, but drops the mask. Letting go of the ledge and activating his jetpack, he flies down and catches it, flies back up, grabs the side of the cliff, and deactivates his jetpack. )

 

Director: O_o

 

Jaller: *ahem* Well, I guess I asked...

 

( Little did he realize that "Mata Nui Yoga" had relocated from the top of the cliffs to the bottom, due to too many Matoran falling off it. Just then, he hears a loud noise. )

 

Jaller: Oh, what now?

 

( He looks up to see a big shadow creeping along the cliff behind the ledge, and the noise gets closer... )

 

Jaller: This is the end! DX

 

( The "shadow" turns out to be Takua on Pewku, and the Ta-Matoran thrusts his Kohlii stick next to Jaller. )

 

Takua: Grab on!

 

Jaller: O_O IT'S TAKUA!!! AAAAAHH!!! I'M GONNA DIE!!!

 

Pewku: Stop whining and grab on!

 

( Takua hooks him under the arm with his stick and yanks him up. )

 

Jaller: Well, well, well, whatever happened to "I quit"?

 

Takua: We ran out of Cheese Nips.

 

Jaller: I see.

 

Takua: Besides, I could've, but I didn't. Bad news. More Rahkshi.

 

Jaller: How many?

 

Takua: Three.

 

( Jaller writes something on a bingo card. )

 

Jaller: Yee-hah! I win a toaster!

 

Takua: O_o Uh... They've taken Onu-Koro.

 

Jaller: But the mask was never at Onu-Koro.

 

Takua: They don't want the mask. They're after the herald.

 

Jaller: But I was never... Oh...

 

Vakama: Don't act so stunned, as if you don't know who the real herald is!

 

Director: Vakama! You're not in this scene!

 

Vakama: And besides, of course they're not after the mask! They're after my fame and fortune!

 

*flashback*

 

( On the ledge near Ta-Koro... )

 

Gali: Um, Vakama wrote it.

 

Tahu: Oh, okay. ^_^

 

Vakama: They are seekers. They want my fame and fortune. :(

 

*end flashback*

 

Director: >_> I pity our editors.

 

Jaller: But we weren't in that scene! Besides, you weren't at Ta-Koro ether...

 

Vakama: Well, now you know! But I won't give in. Oh, no. *backs against the wall* There may be enemies along my path, danger at every turn, but in the

end... Vakama the invincible shall be victorious!

 

( Turaga 007 activates his jet-pack and flies away. )

 

Takua: Good riddance. Now where were we?

 

Jaller: *ahem* Are you sure they were after the herald?

 

Takua: Oh, yeah. Real sure.

 

Jaller: Then we'd better find the seventh Toa.

 

Takua: Who? Oh, yeah... That guy...

 

Pewku Sarcastically: I'm not surprised you forgot the main guy whom the whole movie is about. *end sarcasm* Now, then, about those Cheese Nips...

 

Takua: *stomach rumbles* Yeah, I'm hungry.

 

Jaller: Alright, alright. I've got a bunch in my pack.

 

( The three friends walk along the edge of the cliff, following the mask and sharing Cheese Nips along the way. Meanwhile, up above, a pair of eyes are watching them... )

 

???: You have not seen the last of me, Jaller and Takua... *quietly laughs maniacally*

 

THE END (???)

 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

 

And hopefully Chapter 9 will be here next week, same Bionicle Time, same Bionicle Channel!

 

And on an extra note, I actually went under the smiley limit this time. Without having to edit after posting. Wow, I'm impressed. To celebrate: :D


Edited by Takuaka: Toa of Time, May 09 2013 - 10:52 PM.

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Timaka: Toa of Time


I have very neat hand-writing.


#20 Offline Takuaka: Toa of Time

Takuaka: Toa of Time
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Posted Jun 06 2013 - 04:05 PM

Okay, I'm not gonna bother apologizing this time. =P The rest of the story shall come when it comes.

 

 

 

Chapter 9: Foolery

 

( Last time, Onu-Koro was destroyed with Pohatu and Onua, as well as three Rahkshi, buried under rubble, Tahu turned to the angry side and was later healed by Gali, Lewa, and Kopaka. And of course Takua and Jaller are together again... Yay. )

 

Takua: Say it with feeling!

 

( YAAAAAAY!!! )

 

Takua: o.o Very nice.

 

( Thanks. Anyway, now Gali sits by a river in Le-Wahi while she waits for Tahu's strength to return. )

 

Tahu's Strength: Honey, I'm hooome!

 

Gali: O_o

 

Director: Okay, who's this clown? Security!

 

Tahu's Strength: Hey! There's no reason for- *gets dragged away* Nooo!

 

( While Tahu's Strength, whoever that is, is escorted out of the studio, Lewa approaches Gali. )

 

Lewa: Sister, he is open-eyed.

 

Gali: LIke this? "O_O"

 

Lewa: >_> You know what I mean...

 

( Over in the clearing, Tahu is sitting on the rock while Kopaka stands nearby. )

 

Tahu: Got any fives?

 

Kopaka: Go fish.

 

Tahu: Rats.

 

Gali: Brother, are you well?

 

Tahu: Of course! Why shouldn't I be?

 

Director: Ahem!

 

Tahu: Oh, yeah... No. No, I'm not well. But I... I am alive... and in your debt, my sister.

 

Gali: Don't worry. I'll charge you minimum interest. :)

 

Tahu: What...? O_o

 

( The two of them touch their fists together. )

 

Kopaka: *cry* These things always make me cry!

 

Gali: Need a tissue?

 

Kopaka: *sniff* N-No, I'll be alright...

 

Lewa: So, do we quick-find Takua and Jaller now?

 

Gali: No, first I have to go shopping.

 

Tahu: For what?

 

Gali: *stamps foot* For a new make-up kit, of course! *humphs*

 

Tahu: Oh... Okay, you can go after this scene.

 

Gali: ... Actually, the fist thing was supposed to be the end of the scene...

 

Director: *snore* Wha-? Oh. CUT!

 

( Elsewhere, Takua, Jaller, and Pewku have just arrived at the Kini-Nui. )

 

Jaller: Kini-Nui, the Great Temple.

 

Takua: Mata-Nui's forehead! XD *bursts into hysterical laughter*

 

Jaller: O__o

 

Takua: Temple... Get it? Your "temple" is part of your forehead? Mata-Nui's forehead? ...

 

Jaller: *shrug*

 

Takua: Oh, fine! *humphs*

 

Director: *thinking* How did he know? This is back in 2003 before anyone knew Mata Nui was a giant robot! ... *talking* Moving on!

 

Takua: Okay, okay... *ahem* No way. We've been all over the island just to wind up here?

 

Jaller: Why not? It's a special place.

 

Takua: What's so special about it?

 

Jaller: O_o It's a temple.

 

Takua: Oh. Right.

 

Jaller: Also, past that group of statues over there is the Toothpaste World theme park. ^_^ Just opened yesterday. Why they decided to build it right next to Kini-Nui I'll never know.

 

Takua: o.O Oh. Cost savings I guess. Um... But still, are you sure this thing is working right?

 

( Takua grabs the Mask of Light and shakes it. As he shakes it, the light shining from it becomes brighter and solidifies into a laser beam, shooting at the nearest statue head. The statue head then collapses. )

 

Takua: Gah! I didn't do it!

 

Jaller: What did you do?

 

Pewku: It's gonna eat me!

 

( Pewku curls up in fear. )

 

Jaller Sarcastically: All hail the brave Ussal crab... -.-

 

Pewku: *blushes*

 

Jaller: This is it. The Seventh Toa must be here.

 

Takua: How can you tell?

 

Jaller: There's writing on that rock over there that says "Seventh Toa wuz here". ^_^

 

Takua: Oh...

 

( Just then, the three Rahkshi from Onu-Koro appear over a hill nearby. )

 

Turahk: Kini Nui, are you ready to raaaaahk?!

 

Vorahk: I'm hungry... 8)

 

Kurahk: Oh, pull yourselves together already. We have an important mission here!

 

Jaller: Rahkshi!

 

Kurahk: You insignificant fools shall not escape this time!

 

Jaller: Give me the mask!

 

Takua: No! My masky! :K

 

Jaller: Oh, come on! Gimme!

 

( Jaller takes the mask. )

 

Takua: Jaller, no. We both know the mask chose me. I'm the true herald.

 

( Vakama suddenly appears out of nowhere and shouts in slow motion: )

 

Vakama: Nnnooooooooooooo!

 

Director: >_< We'll just digitize him out. :)

 

Vakama: *cry* That's not true! That's impossible!

 

Takua: Search your feelings, Vakama. You know it to be true.

 

Vakama: Nooo!!! Noo...

 

Pewku: Aw, poor guy... The truth hurts. :/

 

Jaller: Are you sure? Even now?

 

Pewku: What? Of course I-

 

Takua: Yes! I am the herald, and I say run!

 

Pewku: Oh.

 

( Takua takes the mask back and the Rahkshi hop down from the hill. Takua and Jaller then run toward the Amaja Sand Pit, leaving Vakama sitting in a heap and crying. They climb the stairs and start across when they see the other three Rahkshi. )

 

Takua: Oh no. >_< Not them again...

 

Guurahk: Oh, lookie brothers! It's our special friends again!

 

Lerahk: Is it dead? Can we eat it?

 

Panrahk: No, they're not dead!

 

Lerahk: :(

 

Gurahk: We just came from Toothpaste World! :D And we all got complimentarey toothbrushes! Want one?

 

Lerahk: The food there sure is good. *belch* I was the only one who had any, though. Strange how it came in those little tubes.

 

Panrahk: >_>

 

Jaller: Oh, now what?

 

Takua: Uh...

 

( The two of them turn around and see Turahk, Kurahk, and Vorahk coming towards them. )

 

Takua: We're trapped!

 

Turahk: Muwahaha! Now you have no choice... Get ready to Rahk...

 

Vorahk: I'm hungry... O.O

 

Kurahk: We have you now!

 

( Suddenly, a random mysterious voice is heard. )

 

Random Mysterious Voice: Hold it right there!

 

Takua: Oh, no! :o Him, too?

 

Jaller: It can't be!

 

( Footsteps are heard and then Taku steps forward, stopping in front of the Rahkshi. )

 

Takua: You're alive? We thought you'd been buried in Onu-Koro!

 

Jaller: Yeah... Wait, you aren't still angry with us for ditching you in Le-Wahi, are you?

 

Taku: Nah. May as well let bygones be bygones. I figure there's no sense in becoming another villain in this flick. Especially considering what happens later in this scene...

 

Turahk: What happens when? o-o

 

Jaller: Well, we could use a little help right now...

 

Takua: Er... * with difficulty* Welcome back?

 

Taku: Thanks! Do you wanna hug? :D

 

Takua: O_o No!

 

Taku: ... Good, so quit askin' me!

 

Jaller: -_-

 

Guurahk: I wanna hug!

 

Taku: Uh... On second thought...

 

Panrahk: Keep quiet, sis! Let the big boys do the talking!

 

Lerahk: Yeah! *looks around* Where are they?

 

Panrahk: >_< Just get those Matoran!

 

Takua: We're trapped!

 

Jaller: But not helpless!

 

( Jaller takes an enormous laser cannon out of his backpack and starts shooting wildly. )

 

Jaller: HAHAHA!!!

 

Director: Who ordered a giant laser cannon? It's over-kill! Get rid of it!

 

( The laser cannon disappears and Jaller falls to the ground. )

 

Jaller: Oof! Aww... Now all I have is this silly knife...

 

( Suddenly, Taku's speech stops matching the movement of his mouth. )

 

Taku: Do not fear, for Taku the Invincible is near.

 

( Taku then dons a sweatband and a long bamboo pole. )

 

Jaller: O_o

 

Taku: KAIYAH!!!

 

( Turahk's voice also stops matching his mouth movement. )

 

Turahk: Your powers are no match for mine, small one!

 

Taku: Bring it on, large one!

 

( The two of them start kung-fu fighting and somersault off screen. )

 

Takua: O_o 'Kay, I'm officially creeped out now.

 

Jaller: Yup.

 

Pewku: Cookies!

 

Takua: o_O

 

Tahu: Did someone say cookies?

 

( From behind the top of a nearby statue the sun conveniently starts to rise, blinding the Rahkshi with light. Takua and Jaller look up, squinting, to see Tahu, Gali, and Lewa standing on top of the statue. )

 

Gali: *singsong voice* We went shoppiiiiing! :D We bought new make-uuuuup!

 

Tahu: Yeah, and some cool blue jeans. ^_^

 

Kurahk: ... Do you actually wear clothes?

 

Tahu: No. Why?

 

( The three Toa leap down from the statue to stand beside Takua and Jaller. )

 

Jaller: Toa! Great! Now you can distract them while we sneak away and-

 

Tahu: We are done distracting.

 

( The three Toa take out their Toa tools. )

 

Jaller: Drat. Well, can we run then?

 

Lewa: No more ground-runnin'! Just fist-fightin'! Or maybe elemental power-fightin'...

 

Gali: Same difference.

 

Lewa: Not really.

 

( Just at that moment, the ground begins to shake and rumbling is heard. )

 

Jaller: Whoa. What's that?

 

Takua: Whoa. DX Pewku! Lay off the tacos, will ya'?

 

Pewku: TAKUA LATER I'M GONNA-

 

Tahu: Er, actually... heh heh... *blushes*

 

Takua: Uh...

 

( Just then, a white hand pops out of the shaking ground of the Amaja Sand Pit. All present, including the Rahkshi, begin screaming hysterically and ranting about the undead. Then Kopaka, the owner of the white hand, along with Pohatu and Onua, pop out of the ground and take out their Toa tools. Everyone then calms down and they all feel rather embarrassed. )

 

Kopaka: Sorry about that.

 

Gali: Brothers, we thought we lost you.

 

Tahu: Yeah! Now where's the money you owe us?

 

Kopaka: >_>

 

( Kopaka hands Tahu a ten dollar bill. )

 

Onua: And you might've, lost us that is, if it weren't for our icy friend.

 

( The Rahkshi {minus Turahk who's still having Karate Kid delusions} close in. )

 

Tahu: Yahoo! Hit me baby! *spreads arms wide*

 

Other Toa: NO! Do it right!

 

Tahu: Aww! :/ Oh, fine...

 

Other Toa: Phew...

 

( The Toa form a circle around Jaller and Takua on the edges of the sand pit. )

 

Tahu: Now! As one!

 

( Lerahk, Panrahk, and an unwilling but ultimately convinced Guurahk put their staff tips together and send a tripled blast at the Toa. Just as the blast reaches them, a force field forms around them and deflects the blast. )

 

All: Foolery!

 

Tahu: We will not be broken. *singing* Yeah, get offa my back!

 

Everyone else: O_o

 

Tahu: What? I like Bryan Adams! :-D

 

( The shield fades away and Lewa leaps between Tahu and Kopaka to launch a small tornado at the Rahkshi. )

 

Lewa: Wind-fly! Sand-twister!

 

( Which either picked up a LOT of sand on the way or Pohatu or Onua managed to sneak a bit of help in there. Anyway, the sand twister heads straight for Guurahk, Panrahk, and Lerahk, picking them up. )

 

Guurahk: How could youuuuuu?!

 

Lerahk: Can we eat iiiiit?

 

Panrahk: *Arnold Schwarzeneggar voice* We'll be baaaack!

 

( On the opposite side of the sand pit, Kurahk, Vorahk, and Turahk approach the Toa. Gali leaps down to meet them. )

 

Gali: Where'd Taku go?

 

Turahk: He had to use the little Matoran's room. Now then, fear my Rahk!!!

 

( Turahk swings his staff down at Gali, but she dodges and he hits the ground. Kurahk then swings his staff-)

 

Kurahk: PINATA!!! 8D

 

(-at her but she leaps out of the way and he hits Turahk instead. )

 

Turahk: Gah! My life is flashing before my eyes! ... I see the Barney Guitar Daddy gave me for my third birthday!

 

Kurahk: Um... Oops.

 

Vorahk: I'm hungry!

 

Gali: Oh, yeah! Those gymnastics lessons sure paid off.

 

( While she continues to flip around dodging attacks, Lewa still has the other three Rahkshi distracted with his sand twister, while I've no idea what Tahu, Kopaka, Onua, and Pohatu are doing. Charades, maybe? )

 

Guurahk: Whee! It's like a merry-go-round!

 

Lerahk: *urp* Oog, I wish I hadn't eaten so much...

 

Panrahk: Gah! Sit next to Guurahk!

 

Lerahk: Can't... Must wait for... Ride to stop...

 

Lewa: Sand!

 

Tahu: And fire!

 

( There he is! Tahu blasts the sand twister with fire, solidifying the sand into glass. )

 

Lewa: Ha ha! Makes glass.

 

Tahu: *talking to camera* That's your science lesson for today, kiddies. And remember, *points finger at camera* only YOU can prevent wildfires.

 

Lewa: Not with you around, fire-brother! XD

 

Tahu: -.-

 

( Meanwhile, Gali does a couple more flips and stares at Kurahk and Vorahk defiantly. )

 

Gali: Back off.

 

( The two Rahkshi hiss at her, and from behind them appears... Taku. He then yanks a carpet out from under the Rahkshi's feet, and considering they typically don't have carpets in the Bionicle world, everyone to this day has been mystified as to where it came from. Unfortunately, the trick failed miserably because, the carpet simply slid out from under the Rahkshi's feet without tripping them. )

 

Taku: Oh, shoot! I've had too much practice with the glassware! >_<

 

Kurahk: We've got flubber on our feet. ;)

 

Taku: Oh. Okay. *blinks* But wait a second, I don't think that's how flubber-

 

Kurahk: Get him!

 

( Just then, Kopaka appears from behind Taku. The Matoran doesn't see him, but the Rahkshi do. )

 

Vorahk: Uh-oh...

 

Taku: That's right, you better be afraid!

 

( Taku holds up his bamboo pole, pointing it at them. )

 

Kopaka: Surprise.

 

Taku: Eh? *spins around* Oh. Drat.

 

Pohatu: Rahkshi!

 

Kurahk: I like that line. Short, and to the point.

 

Taku: Hey! These guys are mine!

 

( Pohatu throws his claws at the Rahkshi's wrists, pinning them together. )

 

Vorahk: I am stuck on Kurahk, 'cuz there's Kurahk stuck on me!

 

Kurahk: Shut up! >_< You Toa can't do this to me! DX

 

( Taku puts on a wide-brimmed brown hat and starts talking like an old man. )

 

Taku: Couldn't have done it better myself. I tip my hat to you, Pohatu. It seems the tomatoes have passed from the master to the student...

 

( Taku the Invincible becomes transparent and then vanishes altogether. )

 

Pohatu: O_o *blink* *blink* I never understood that guy...

 

Onua: Leave the heavy lifting to me!

 

( Onua walks by carrying Godzilla. )

 

Godzilla (with a high-pitched squeaky voice): Let me down! This isn't my set! WHERE'RE ALL THE DONUTS?!?!?!

 

( Godzilla scrambles away, leaving a trail of destruction behind him. )

 

Director: >_> I'm making you clean up the set after this scene, Onua...

 

Onua: Rats. Well, this should work!

 

( Onua uses his elemental power to bring some large rocks out of the ground, which then fly into the air. )

 

Jaller: Since when can he make rocks fly like that?

 

( Takua shrugs. )

 

Kurahk: This doesn't look good.

 

Tahu: Lava!

 

( Tahu leaps past through the air, using his power to melt the rocks as he goes. Kurahk screams hysterically as the lava drops onto him and Vorahk. )

 

Vorahk: I am stuck on lava, 'cuz- *gets whacked by Kurahk* Ow... o-o

 

Kurahk: Shriek, you fool!

 

( Gali blasts them with water as they... Shriek. )

 

Gali: Water!

 

Takua: How redundant.

 

Jaller: Yup.

 

Vakama: *who's been standing around all this time watching* Yup.

 

( Kopaka leans down and freezes Gali's water, turning the Rahkshi into an icy sculpture. )

 

Kopaka: And ice.

 

Takua: Redundant! ... Pretty, though.

 

Vorahk: So... Cold...

 

Kurahk: I'm hungry! No, wait, I- AAH!! Get out of my head! DX

 

Pohatu: My claws are in there.

 

Kopaka: Huh? Oh, sorry about that.

 

Pohatu: *cry*

 

Gali: Don't worry. We'll get some you new ones from Toa Tool Mart later.

 

Pohatu: :-D

 

( From the sand pit, Jaller, Takua and... Vakama, who's not supposed to be there, watch with interest. )

 

Takua: Got any fives?

 

Other two: Nope.

 

Takua: Rats.

 

( Or not. But just then, a red arm grabs onto the edge of the sand pit. Jaller, Takua, and Vakama cringe in fear as something large looms over them... Nearby, the Toa, who were apparently busy congratulating each other on their almost complete victory, turn to see an angry, snarling Turahk chasing the Matoran and Turaga. Pewku whimpers on the ground beside the sand pit. )

 

Pewku: I do what? How cowardly! CRABBY KUNG-FU!!!

 

Director: NO. ANYTHING but that.

 

Pewku: ... Can I chuck rocks?

 

Director: *sighs heavily* Okay...

 

Pewku: ^_^

 

( Pewku heroically chucks rocks at Turahk as he follows the Matoran. )

 

Turahk: You killed my father!

 

Takua: Actually, I don't do that until a couple chapters from now. :-)

 

Director: MOVIE WRECKER!!!

 

Takua: Er, I mean, we did not!

 

Turahk: Come... Listen to my Rahk...

 

Takua: No! No monkeys! Not the monkeys...

 

( He and Jaller, and Vakama, I guess, run from Turahk, but the Rahkshi hits Takua with fear energy... )

 

Makuta's Voice: Sauerkraut...

 

Takua: Mustard...

 

Makuta's Voice: Ketchup...

 

Takua: This is... Ridiculous...

 

( Takua stops in his tracks and stares at Turahk, frozen with fear. )

 

Makuta's Voice: Fear me. Run from me. Hide in McDonald's. Buy me a soda.

 

Takua: I'll need... A few dollars...

 

( Just then, Jaller runs up and, mustering enough bravery to tackle Makuta himself, grabs onto Turahk's staff and absorbs the fear energy. )

 

Jaller: My worst nightmare... I got kicked out of my yoga club! And Hahli beat me at Kolhii! *cry*

 

Hahli: I DID beat you at Kolhii.

 

Jaller: Oh. Why are you here?

 

Hahli: Well I, unlike Vakama, will now simply vanish. *simply vanishes*

 

Jaller: More nightmares... I spilled mask polish on the Ta-Suva on inspection day! *cry*

 

( Jaller goes limp and falls to the ground. Takua manages to shake off the fear energy and rushes to his side. )

 

Takua: I'm supposed to make the sacrifice. I bet Taku all my Cheese Nips you'd find the Seventh Toa before sundown, remember? Which was like a week ago... I'm supposed to sacrifice my Cheese Nips!

 

Jaller: No. The duty was mine. You can have my secret stash of Cheese Nips to pay him off, and my not-so-secret stash for yourself... I'm afraid... this is goodbye, my friend...

 

Takua: *cry* Why must the good die young?

 

Jaller: I leave Pewku my roller skates... Along with my two extra pairs... To Tahu I leave my bugle horn... Gali can have my PROSTHETICS kit... Kopaka my GPS...

 

( Takua writes all this down as Jaller recites his will. Meanwhile, I suppose the Toa must be playing checkers or something since they're taking so long to get there. )

 

Tahu: Gali's winning. :/

 

Jaller: And to Vakama I leave my whoopie cushion...

 

Vakama: He was so young! And handsome! Sort of... He was the best Captain of the Guard I ever had! Not to mention the only Captain of the Guard I ever had...

 

( Jaller reaches for the Mask of Light, which had fallen to the ground, and hands it to Takua. )

 

Jaller: You know who you are... You were always... different.

 

( Takua holds the mask and it glows brightly. Jaller lays limp and his heart beats no more. Takua's eyes fill with tears, if that's possible for a bio-mechanical being. )

 

Director: I CAN'T STAND IT!!! *bursts into hysterical tears of sorrow* WAAAAAAHHH!!!

 

Toa: O_o

 

Takua: O_o

 

Jaller: O_o Oops! *dies* DX

 

Vakama: O_o

 

Pewku: O_o

 

THE END


Edited by Takuaka: Toa of Time, Jun 06 2013 - 04:08 PM.

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#21 Offline Takuaka: Toa of Time

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Posted Jun 18 2013 - 02:41 PM

Chapter 10: The Seventh Moron

 

 

( Last time, Takua, Jaller, and Pewku arrived at the Kini-Nui and were attacked by all six Rahkshi, only to be then rescued by all six Toa Nuva. Sadly, however, the Nuva missed one, and Jaller died protecting Takua from it. Now, Takua sits beside his dead friend as dramatic music plays. . . )

 

Takua: And to think the previous owner of your mask died in a similar fashion. . . Really makes ya' think.

 

Director: Hey! No spoiling future story-line!

 

Takua: :alien:

 

( Takua gets to his feet, looks at the mask, and Jaller's voice echoes in his head. )

 

Jaller's Voice Inside Takua's Head: You know who you are... are... are... Hey! Hey! Hey... Cool! Echo! Echo! Echo...

 

Pewku: I always knew the inside of your head would echo, Takua.

 

Takua: Hey!

 

( Then, as Takua realizes his destiny at last, he puts on the mask. He stands there for a moment with the Avohkii over his Pakari, looking like some kind of chibi Toa, and then his limbs stretch and the light gets too bright to see and he is transformed into a Toa of Light! )

 

Director: . . . Oh, snap. The filmcrew is reflecting off of his armor. >_> We'll have to edit that out later.

 

George Lucas: I know, I had the same trouble trouble with C-3PO. Isn't it a pain?

 

Director: :o G- G- G- GEORGE LUCAS IS IN MY STUDIO!!!

 

George Lucas: O_o Er, uh, no I'm not! *instantly vanishes*

 

Director: *cry* WHY?!?!?! I wanted an autograph... *cry*

 

Gali: Do you need a tissue?

 

Director: Nah. . . I'm alright. . . *sniff* Get on with the scene. . .

 

Toa of Light: I am Takanuva, Toa of Light.

 

Taku Sarcastically: No, really? We would never have guessed you were a Toa of Light from the flashy armor, the mask, and the legend foretelling the coming of a Toa of Light!

 

Takanuva: Well, I don't suppose you knew what I was going to name myself!

 

Taku: Of course I did! I read the script, after all. . .

 

( Turahk is apparently still standing nearby throughout all of this, although he's not paying an ounce of attention, and is instead imagining himself on the stage of a "rahk" concert, quietly singing to himself. . . But just then, Takanuva blasts him with a beam of light from his "Kolhii Staff". )

 

Turahk: AHAHA!!! I CAN FEEL THE RAHK!!!

 

( Turahk falls unconscious, and Takanuva blasts a nearby statue, carving it into the shape of his old Pakari. )

 

Hafu: *appears out of thin air* Another Takua original. *nodnod* *vanishes into thin air*

 

Pewku: Gee, Takanuva, naming yourself and carving a statue of your mask... Modest, aren't we?

 

Takanuva: Sure are. ^_^

 

Pewku: >_<

 

Takanuva: Haha! What fun! I could shoot blasts of light all day!

 

( He then notices Jaller. )

 

Takanuva: Oh, right...

 

( So Jaller picks up Takanuva and - no, wait, switch those around - and carries him down the steps of the Kini-Nui and between the two lines formed by the six Toa Nuva. )

 

Takanuva (whispering to Jaller): Wanna go see a movie when we're done filming today?

 

Jaller(whispering to Takua): Sure, and don't forget the Cheese Nip-flavored popcorn this time.

 

Takanuva: Heh heh. . .

 

( And so, we skip the funeral scene. The script-writer had written one and wanted to at least include it on the DVD as a deleted scene, but for reasons I will shortly explain, it was left out. In it the Toa, Turaga, and many Matoran had payed their respects to their deceased comrade and many touching speeches were iterated and songs sung.

 

Unfortunately, the actor Matoran portraying Jaller was kidded so badly by friends and family and he was so embarrassed, that he snuck into the editing room in the dark of night and burned the footage. And so, unfortunately, the funeral scene was given. . . A funeral. Thank you. )

 

( Now, Makuta's voice is heard as Takanuva walks between the Toa, while the image slowly shifts to his lair. )

 

Makuta: So. . . the soda machine is out of order, my brother. . . rut soon, it shall also. . . be repaired. . . Muwahaha!

 

( Then the scene shifts back to Takanuva, who is now gazing sadly at Jaller's mask as it floats in a beam of light emitting from the Kini-Suva. )

 

Kopaka: *gasp* Tractor beam!

 

( Yeah, sort of, I guess. )

 

Takanuva: All this. . . Just to replace the funeral scene?

 

Jaller's Mask: Yup.

 

Takanuva: O_o . . . *ahem* And to discover who I am?

 

( Vakama walks into the scene. )

 

Director: GET OUT OF THE- Oh, wait, he's actually supposed to be in this scene. . . Right. It's been so long.

 

Vakama: You have finally found your own story, and still you seek answers.

 

Takanuva: Yeah, "Bob Eats a Cheeze It" sure has come a long way since Le-Wahi. . . I have characters and a plot now. :) But how do you spell "once upon a time"?

 

Director: >_<

 

Vakama: Atanuimay isay iserway anthay allay.

 

Takanuva: What? O_o

 

Vakama: It's pig latin!

 

Takanuva: Pigs speak latin? o-o

 

Vakama: >_< It means, Mata Nui is wiser than all! Sheesh. . .

 

Takanuva: Ah. . .

 

Vakama: The path you walked was not to be here, *waves hand around* but in here. *pokes Takanuva's chest with staff*

 

Takanuva: Ow. . . I was strollin' through my heart one day,

In the merry merry month of Tuesday,

I was taken by surprise,

By Makuta's bloodshot eyes-

 

Director: Hey! We had enough singing back during the funeral scene! X_x

 

Takanuva: Aww. . .

 

Vakama: You understand. Your density is clear.

 

Takanuva: HEY!

 

Vakama: Uh, I mean, your destiny is clear. . . Yeah.

 

Takanuva: Jaller's sacrifice will not be vain.

 

Jaller's Sacrifice: What? I am not conceited! Besides, I won the beauty pagent, didn't I?

 

Takanuva: O_o I mean, Jaller's sacrfice will not be in vain. . . Yeah.

 

Jaller's Sacrifice: :o I WANNA GO TO SPAIN!

 

Takanuva: Go away!

 

Jaller's Sacrifice: You're mean! *runs away crying*

 

Takanuva: >_> Drama queen.

 

( The Toa Nuva, and assumably Takanuva, proceed to build a vehicle from Rahkshi and Bohrok-Kal parts. Tahu and Lewa put on a couple last pieces. But if you pay close attention to this part of the DVD, three pieces float in the air, glowing yellow, and attach themselves to the vehicle. . . Odd. Is Nuju playing telekinetic tricks again? )

 

Nuju: *whistles innocently*

 

( Or was it a ghost! We might never know. At any rate, Takanuva presently walks over to Tahu and Lewa. )

 

Lewa: How will this way-find the Makuta?

 

Takanuva: Kopaka let me borrow his Satellite Tracking System.

 

Tahu: But Makuta's lair is underground. . .

 

Takanuva: Oh, yeah. . . I guess I'll just stick these bunny slippers in the ItemTracer5000. After all, what is the Makuta's shall return to him.

 

Lewa: That makes no logic-sense. . .

 

Kopaka: Sure it does! I made it, and it simply uses the gyroscopic conflagurator to scan the geonetic signature of the item, living or otherwise, and traces the signature's geometric triginometrical line to the place of it's origin.

 

Lewa: Huh? Didn't get a phrase-word of that, sorry. You lost me at "sure."

 

Tahu: Yeah, me too.

 

Kopaka: >_<

 

( The seven Toa stand around the now-completed Ussanui as Hahli dramatically steps forward, holding Jaller's Hau. )

 

Hahli: Jaller was your herald.

 

Vakama: *cry* I still can't believe it! Why didn't I get to be the herald? WHY?!?! *cry*

 

Hahli: Let him continue to lead you to victory.

 

( Hahli puts the mask on the front of the Ussanui. )

 

Takanuva: Well said, Hahli.

 

Pohatu: Not much room in this transport.

 

Takanuva: You only just noticed? O_o

 

Pohatu: Where will we all sit, brother?

 

Takanuva: On the handle-bars, of course!

 

Other Toa: 0.o

 

Takanuva: I mean, you won't. You shall not join me.

 

( The other Toa cheer for joy. )

 

Onua: Now we can all go to my house! And watch movies, thumb wrestle, and eat Cheese Nips all night!

 

Other Toa: Hooray!

 

Director: Wrong emotion, people. . .

 

Onua: Oh, right. Okay, starting again. 1, 2, 3!

 

( The Toa gasp in surprise. )

 

Pohatu: But united, our power overcame the Rahkshi!

 

Takanuva: Yeah, except for Turahk, though I got him afterwards, so I suppose if you meant all seven of us united, then. . .

 

Tahu: Certainly it will take nothing less to defeat the Makuta.

 

Gali: After all, it's been working on the director all movie, right? :)

 

Director: *headdesk*

 

Takanuva: I have but one destiny. That is, other than eventually transforming into a Titan-sized Toa of Twilight, and then shrinking down to the size of an Av-Matoran and switching my gold with silver, and-

 

Director: QUIT SPOILING FUTURE STORY-LINES!!!

 

Takanuva: XD But other than that, I have but one density. Er, destiny. . . >_< Yours lie with the Matoran and the Turaga. Not to mention Karda-

 

Director: I'M--GOING--TO STRANGLE---RRRRRRR! :burnmad:

 

Takanva: o.o Yipe. Um, so gather them and wait for my return.

 

( Takanuva hops on the Ussanui and starts it's engine, which I suppose Nuparu must have only just invented, as I don't recall ever seeing any engines on Mata Nui before now, unless the Boxor had one, but- Uh, the director's tapping his foot now. . . So, anyway, the Ussanui's landing gear retracts and it lifts into the air. I also don't recall seeing anything with repulsorlifts before now. Takanuva directs the Ussanui into a big hole in the ground, which is, assumably, the hole left when Guurahk, Lerahk, and Panrahk blew up the Kini-Suva. )

 

Pewku: :o He's left me behind again! Then again, do I want to face Makuta? Not really. . .

 

( Takanuva flies along the tube-like hole that leads down to an underground cavernous area, which he then proceeds to fly along, dodging stalactite-pillars and taking pictures as he goes. )

 

Takanuva: Wahoo! Large intestine here I come! 8D

 

( Halfway down the tunnel, Takanuva spots an underground drive-through. )

 

Takanuva: Oh, goody! There's absolutely no logic behind an underground drive-through, unless of course it's near Onu-Koro, which this one isn't, but who cares! I'm starved!

 

( The big neon sign above the building says: "McMorons" )

 

Director: I was going to say that nothing surprises me anymore, but apparently I was wrong. O_o Uh. . .

 

( Takanuva happily pulls up to the window, which is manned by an extremely old and rusty Matoran, so rusty in fact that it's impossible to tell what his element is. Or was. . . Anyway, the Matoran snores loudly for a few moments, then wakes up to see Takanuva. )

 

Drive-In Window Matoran: What'sh thish? A cushtomer! We ain't had one in chenturies! What'll it be, pal?

 

( As he speaks and [stiffly] moves, rust dust rains off of him, and his mouth looks as if it's about to fall off, too, as do the rest of his parts. )

 

Takanuva: I'll take a Kane-Ra Burger and some Gukko Nuggets, please!

 

Drive-In Window Matoran: Hey, Charley! We gotsh a cushtomer! Give him an Order 3, will ya'?

 

( As soon as "Charley" remembers what an Order 3 is, he ecstatically starts up the old grill, which is also incredibly rusty. )

 

Director: I can't imagine the centuries-old food here will taste very good. . .

 

Drive-In Window Matoran: Hey! Don't knock it 'til you try it!

 

Director: No thanks. . .

 

( Takanuva waits a few minutes, and then the Matoran at the window hands him his meal. Takanuva thanks the Matoran and drives off. )

 

Drive-In Window Matoran: Ya' know what, Charley? I'll betcha thish ish the shart of a new trend! I'll betcha shoon there'll be bushloadsh of people in here!

 

Charley: Keep dreamin', pal.

 

( Later, Takanuva continues flying down the tunnel, which is apparently a lot longer than it later seems in the final version of the movie. )

 

Takanuva: Ah. . . That food was good.

 

Director: No comment.

 

Takanuva: Hey, look! Makuta's front door! Oh, there's no knocker. . . What a shame. . . Oh, well! I know how to improvise! 8D Pinata!!!

 

( Takanuva flies the Ussanui straight into the big door, nimbly flipping off at the last moment. The Ussanui explodes, making a big crack in the door. )

 

Takanuva: That should get his attention. . . ^_^

 

( Takanuva walks up to the wreckage. Just then, two Matoran pop out of two of the kraata compartments. )

 

Takanuva: Hahli! And. . . Oh, no. . . >_<

 

Taku: *chucks tomato* I knew you missed me!

 

Hahli: *picks up Jaller's mask from the wreckage* It's time someone was your Chronicler.

 

Taku: Yeah, and she's just along for the ride. ;)

 

Hahli: >_> Suuure...

 

( The three of them enter Makuta's lair, Takanuva holding Makuta's bunny slippers, Hahli holding Jaller's mask, and Taku holding a rubber chicken. )

 

Takanuva: -.- I'm not even going to ask. . .

 

Taku: Good! *hugglesquishes chicken*

 

( Takanuva stops, signals for the others to stop, too, and then walks on ahead, reaching several pools of protodermis, together forming the shape of the Bionicle symbol. Around the pool are many greenish pillars. He stops and throws the bunny slippers to the ground. )

 

Director: *sigh* If it weren't for CGI-replacement, those would be a problem. :)

 

( The bunny slippers hiss and slither into the shadows. )

 

Hahli: 0_o Am I the only one who found that incredibly disturbing?

 

Taku: Yep.

 

Slippers: Daddy! Daddy!

 

( The slippers slither up to Makuta. )

 

Makuta: Oh, my poor babies! *scoops them up* My precious poopsies! Did that mean old Toa of Light hurt you? *cuddles the slippers and then sets them down* Now, go hide in the bedroom while I deal with the intruder, and I'll see you later.

 

Slippers: Okay! *slither off*

 

Director: That. . . was. . . so very, very disturbing. . .

 

Makuta: Uh. . . You didn't see that!

 

Takanuva: You can no longer ad-lib in shadow.

 

Makuta: I am not. . . not shadow.

 

Takanuva: Hey, you mustn't never use no double negatives.

 

Makuta: Right. . . I am the shadow that gates the guard.

 

Takanuva: That sounded violent for some reason. . .

 

Makuta: Now, run along. I'm not interested in Girl Scout cookies right now.

 

Takanuva: Rats!

 

Makuta: Or accept your mood... Which is "doom" backwards. ;)

 

Takanuva: I am done running. My legs are killing me. . . despite the fact that I was riding the Ussanui all the way here. But at any rate, Mata Nui will be awakened this day!

 

Mata Nui (with Michael Dorn's voice): Don't I wish. . .

 

Director: Now don't you start spoiling plots!

 

Mata Nui: Well. . .

 

Takanuva: Hahli! Summon the Matoran!

 

Hahli: *deep breath* Oh, MATORAN!!!

 

Takanuva: o.o That's not. . . what I meant. . .

 

Hahli: Uh. . . It's done.

 

( Hahli leaves Makuta's lair, while a now-unconscious Taku lies in a corner. )

 

Makuta: Light of Toa, now so bold. . .

 

Takanuva: Am I?

 

Makuta: But at heart, you are still just Takua.

 

Takanuva: So I won't! Maybe Jaller will!

 

Makuta: 0.o What? You flailed to save your fiend. . . Don't ask me why. . . You didn't even warm him. . . Not that you would. . . Perhaps for your next great failure. . . A simple game of checkers.

 

Takanuva: Checkers? Really? Well. . . Nah. . . I stink at checkers.

 

Makuta: Alright. How about Parcheesi?

 

Takanuva: Nah.

 

Makuta: Mouse Trap?

 

Takanuva: I always found that one depressing.

 

Makuta: O_o Uh. . . Go-fish then?

 

Takanuva: I hate the smell of fish.

 

Makuta: >_> Monopoly?

 

Takanuva: o.O Mo-who-oly?

 

Makuta: DX This is getting tiresome. . . How about Kolhii?

 

Takanuva: Well, I stink at that, too. . . Ga-Koro beat Ta-Koro at our own field. . . And I almost knocked Vakama through a wall. . . But, sure, why not?

 

Taku: Hey, why does Makuta want to turn this final confrontation into a simple game, anyhow?

 

Director: He's weird that way. Doesn't like the direct approach.

 

Taku: Ah. . . Say, Makuta's ceiling is shaped funny. . .

 

Makuta: A simple game of Kolhii, then. Win, and. . . Tell him what he'll win, Harriet.

 

Harriet: Right, Mak, *wink* if our contestant manages to win this match, it's. . . A NEW car!

 

Takanuva: 8D Squee!

 

Director: o.0 Who's she?

 

Harriet: Makuta's lovely assistant!

 

Director: . . . Moving on!

 

Makuta: I meant to say. . . Win, and you may try to open the gate. . . When you lose, I'll have your Cheese Nips. . . And that mask.

 

Takanuva: *unsheathes Kolhii Staff* I will. Not. Lose.

 

( The match begins. )

 

Taku: Hey! They'll need an announcer! *grabs a microphone* Hello out there, all you dudes and dudettes! Ha ha! Welcome to the toally awesome and epic Kolhii Match of the Century! Mangaia welcomes two teams: From the island above, our own pain in the neck turned hero-

 

Takanuva: Hey!

 

Taku: -Takanuva! And from the shadows of Mangaia, the Master of Darkness himself, Makuta!

 

Director: This brings back painful memories. . .

 

( A ball of solid protodermis [which is covered in logos, predominantly a "Barney: Live" one] shoots out of the center protodermis pool and flies high into the air. )

 

Taku: Okay, our two teams leap into the air after the ball, and (Wow!) Takanuva takes posession with a totally cool move where he grabs it and flips over Makuta's head! Watch out for his Shadow Staff, Tak! He goes from a pillar to the ground and flings the ball, charged with light, at Makuta! Makuta catches it with his staff and charges it with darkness, then flings it back! Takanuva leaps into the air just as the ground explodes beneath him and lands on a pillar! And he's safe! Two points!

 

Makuta: This isn't baseball!

 

( Up above, at Kini-Nui, the Toa Nuva and Turaga are gathered around the hole in the ground. They take turns tossing coins into it. )

 

Tahu: It's bound to bring us good luck. . .

 

Lewa: Yeah, and Makuta shall soon be fortune-rich! . . . How is that good luck?

 

( Just then, Hahli climbs out of the hole, and then knocks some coins off her mask. )

 

Hahli: I bring word from the Mole-People! We are to submit to them as our rulers!

 

Everyone Else: O.0

 

Director: That wasn't in the script. But what is, anymore? DX

 

Hahli: Well, Takanuva sends word, too. He wants us to follow.

 

Tahu: Finally! *dances and sings* Time to get, pasted aga-ain, boo-yah!

 

Gali: O_o Lovely dance, there.

 

Tahu: Thanks. *coolshades*

 

Hahli: We are to awaken Mata Nui today.

 

( Everyone gasps. )

 

Jaller Mahri: *appears out of nowhere* Oh, if only it had been that simple. . . *vanishes*

 

Hahli: o_O

 

Nokama: Today? But I haven't picked up my dry-cleaning! I simply have nothing to wear!

 

( Everyone starts murmuring. )

 

Vakama: A light among the shadows.

 

Hahli: Duh. Hadn't we established that way back when we first found the Mask of Light?

 

Vakama: The prophecy is fulfilled! We must go.

 

Hahli: Which prophecy this time. . . ?

 

Vakama: Legends foretell the coming of a trekkie convention, here on this island. I don't know about you, but I sure don't want to be anywhere around. . .

 

Matau: Yeah, but that's not 'til next week/month!

 

Vakama: Oh.

 

Onewa: If we descend into those tunnels, we may never return!

 

Tahu: So what are we waiting for?! 8D *leaps into hole* WHEEEEEEeee!! *crash* ow.

 

Lewa: Crazy fire-spitter-head. -.-

 

( Everyone starts chattering. Meanwhile, down below... )

 

Taku: Takanuva leaps down from the pillar as yet another protodermis ball explodes behind him! Blast 'im with light, Tak! COME ON!

 

Makuta: Still running, Toa?

 

Takanuva: Yeah, I could do this all day! *leaps again* My legs feel great! All that sugar I had earlier sure is paying off!

 

Taku: Takanuva and Makuta stand around the pool, and leap again as another ball pops out! One thing, though. Since when can Toa leap as high as Takanuva is leaping right now?

 

Takanuva: Spring-shoes! Hyah!

 

Director: I just love movie magic!

 

( Up above. . . )

 

Hahli: Friends!

 

Guurahk: HI THERE SPECIAL FRIEND! 8D

 

Hahli: O.o You're dead.

 

Guurahk: Your point being?

 

Director: Get off the set!

 

Guurahk: *cry* *runs away*

 

Hahli: Friends!

 

( Everyone stops chattering and looks at her. )

 

Hahli: This island is a beautiful, wonderful place. Never have any been as blessed as we are, to live in such a paradise.

 

Onewa: Hmm. True.

 

Hahli: I love this island, and Jaller loved it, too.

 

Vakama: *sniff* It's so emotional. . . These things always make me cry! *cry* Waaaaah!!!

 

Everyone Else: O_o

 

Vakama: So I'm emotional, so what? *cry*

 

Hahli: But above all, Jaller respected his elders. I mean, duty. . . Let us repay him by doing our duty!

 

Onewa: Tax time already? O_O

 

Hahli: No! I'm talking about entering the tunnels. . . Let us remember him by fulfilling our dens- No, destiny!

 

Vakama: You heard her! Massage time for me! Come on, who's first?

 

( Everyone steps away from Vakama. )

 

Vakama: No volunteers? :--(

 

Director: Hush!

 

Hahli: Let us go forward together. Let us awaken the Great Spirit! I mean seriously, he's WAY past the beauty sleep thing by now.

 

Everyone Else: Yeah. . .

 

Director: Now shout "yeah!" with feeling!

 

Everyone Else: And then we all get Cheese Nips?

 

Director: Yeah.

 

Everyone Else: YEAH! YEAH!

 

Director: Go with what works, I guess.

 

THE END


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This is where I'm supposed to have a signature, right? Alright, then.


Timaka: Toa of Time


I have very neat hand-writing.


#22 Offline Arzaki

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Posted Jun 24 2013 - 11:55 PM

This made me lol so hard.Please add actual feedback to your posts. What made you laugh? What else did you like? Be specific. -B6

Edited by Black Six, Jun 25 2013 - 05:52 AM.

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:a: :r: :z: :a: :k: :i:

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#23 Online Radagast367

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Posted Jun 26 2013 - 01:35 AM

 

 

Slippers: Daddy! Daddy!

 

( The slippers slither up to Makuta. )

 

Makuta: Oh, my poor babies! *scoops them up* My precious poopsies! Did that mean old Toa of Light hurt you? *cuddles the slippers and then sets them down* Now, go hide in the bedroom while I deal with the intruder, and I'll see you later.

 

Slippers: Okay! *slither off*

Okeeeey.... that was so funny. :D keep up the good work!


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If you think that godzilla is NOT awesome, you're either crazy,

or one of the many people who got trodden on while he was saving the world.

 

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#24 Offline Takuaka: Toa of Time

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Posted Jul 24 2013 - 08:08 PM

Hey! Some response! Neato. =P Two chapters left, folks!

 

 

Chapter 11: Cheese Nips and Tomatoes

 

 

 

( Last time, Takua was magnificently transmogrified into Takanuva, the legendary Toa of Light! He then made his way to Makuta's lair with the Ussanui, only to destroy it and find that Hahli and Taku were stowaways. After finding Makuta, he sent Hahli to gather the Toa and Turaga, and then challenged Makuta to an explosive, literally, game of Kolhii. Which kind of seems like an odd final showdown between good and evil... Mind you, I did see this movie once where the protagonist fought an evil leprachaun in a basketball game- )

 

Director: Hurry up so we can start!

 

( -but that's completely irrelevant, so anyway, at the moment Makuta is chucking exploding protodermis balls at Takanuva while Taku announces. )

 

Taku: Welcome back, sports fans! Our match is heating up as Makuta dispenses with the ball, er, dispenser, and forms them from his staff, launching attack after attack at Takanuva! So far, the score is: 0 to 0. First person to score a point wins! And the loser gets blown up...

 

Makuta: Be awakened... *throws ball* My brother... *throws ball* Shall not! *throws ball* This is gonna kill the real estate value of this place...

 

Taku: And Makuta is imitating Yoda... That's not in the script!

 

Director: *cry* And neither are you! *cry*

 

Taku: Anywhosy, our two competitors take a moment to catch their breath as the referee calls a time-out. Wait, is that a crowd of adoring fans I hear?

 

( Just then, the Toa and Turaga walk into the chamber. )

 

Nokama: Aha! See, Vakama? I told you if we stopped and asked for directions we'd find it!

 

Vakama: *grumble grumble*

 

Pewku: Takua! Er, Takanuva! How DARE you leave me behind?! I'd pummel you if the fate of the island weren't hanging in the balance...

 

Takanuva: Oh, no! I'm hearing voices! O_O

 

( He and Makuta turn to see the Toa, Turaga, and assumably the entire Matoran population behind them. )

 

Takanuva: Oh.

 

Makuta: An audience gathers for your final failure-

 

Vakama: Nah, we're just here for the free food and restroom. Do you have any Cheese Nips down here?

 

Makuta: -er, Light of Toa...

 

Takanuva: Maybe they will not see me win today... especially if they refuse to remove those silly blind-folds...

 

Onua: *crashes into a wall* Ow! Who put that there?

 

Takanuva: But the Matoran will go on stage, and someday, they will triumph, and perform on Broadway!

 

Hahli: *sheds tear* I'm touched.

 

Makuta: You actually believe I would let them return?

 

Takanuva: No. o-o What's your point?

 

( Makuta launches a Protodermis ball at the ceiling above his front doorway, causing it to collapse and block the way out. The Toa and Turaga run out of the way. )

 

Taku: I don't think we've seen that move before!

 

Makuta: They will snot sleeve...

 

Pewku: Ew.

 

Takanuva: 0.o Who hired this guy?

 

Director: Yeah, like you're much better... -.-

 

Takanuva: Who, me? 0:-)

 

Director: Yeah, you! And it's your line, too!

 

Takanuva: Hmm? Oh, I see. I'm supposed to be overcome with rage. Ahem. *deep breath* YYYAAARRRGGGHHH!!! Okay, I'm ready!

 

Everyone else: o_o

 

Takanuva: NO!!!

 

Taku: Takanuva, overcome with rage, leaps at Makuta! Hey, no unnecessary violence or you'll get a penalty! Oh, who am I kidding? *grabs his Tomato launcher* GET 'IM TAKANUVA! *fires like mad* GAHAHAHA!!!

 

( I guess I'll have to narrate again, as our announcer just abandoned his post. Anyone who'd been present at the Kolhii SuperBall watches in horror as Takanuva tries his "special move" again, which had had disatrous results last time, and Vakama ducks under one of the buffet tables. Moments later, the rest of the Toa and Turaga are forced to duck for cover as a barrage of tomatoes comes their way. Taku, who's aim is so bad that he couldn't hit the side of a barn, completely missed his target, to the gratitude of the Director, as otherwise the shot would've been completely spoiled.

 

Meanwhile, Takanuva does the same move he did as a Matoran during the Kolhii match, only this time it works and strikes Makuta full in the chest, who had been so stunned that he hadn't reacted, even though he'd had time to.

 

Several angry tomato-covered Toa and Turaga advance on Taku, the victim of a horrible misunderstanding, and not wanting to find out what they plan to do with him, he flees for his life.

 

Meanwhile, Takanuva slowly walks over to the place where Makuta lay, which is hard to see due to all the shadows in the room, while the crowd murmurs behind him. For a reason unexplained to the audience, Takanuva looks somewhat distressed and upset. Some might say he was disturbed by the way he'd given in to rage and attacked Makuta with such ferocity. Or maybe he was afraid Makuta might not be quite beaten yet.

 

In reality, however, during the break between takes, Pewku had pummelled him for leaving her behind again, the food table had run out of Cheese Nips just before it was his turn to grab a snack, and he'd accidentally sqished his good friend Jimmy the Beetle, for whom there wasn't time for a memorial service. But the director liked the take so much, he used it in the final version of the film. )

 

Director: Moving on!

 

( Takanuva spots Makuta's unmoving form on the ground. Still saddened by the loss of Jimmy, Takanuva finds himself unable to feel any victory. However, it does brielfy appear that Makuta is dead. But just then, Takanuva gasps as Makuta shows signs of life. )

 

Makuta: Well played, Toa.

 

( Okay, and the fact that he just spoke helps, too... )

 

Makuta: Now I will protect Mata Nui from you.

 

Takanuva: From me?

 

( Makuta gets to his feet and hulks over Takanuva. )

 

Makuta: Sleep spares his ribs. I mean, spares him pain, yeah... Awake, he suffers... Seriously, the guy has a horrible back ache, wake him up and he'll be in agony, trust me.

 

Takanuva: You are not protecting him!

 

Makuta: My duty is to the Smak of Dashwos!

 

Takanuva: ... What on Mata Nui is a "Smak"?

 

Makuta: An anagram for "Mask". ^_^

 

Takanuva: Okay... but, I hardly see how your duty being to your own mask is relevant to whether ot not you're protecting Mata Nui. And how can you be loyal to a mask anyway?!

 

Makuta: Don't look at me, I didn't write this. -.-

 

Screenwriter: Well, saying he's loyal to his own mask basically means he's loyal to himself, and it's relevant because he's saying he can do whatever he wants and can protect Mata Nui from being woken up if he wants to.

 

Tahu: Ooh, Bionicle Triva. Everyone write that down!

 

Director: Can we move on, PLEASE?! We only have a few more scenes and then I can go on vacation to the Bahamas and finally be rid of you clowns! Yahoo!

 

Taku: Yahoo? I prefer Google. ^_^

 

Director: . . . *speaking to himself* Breathe, man, breathe. . .

 

Takanuva: Wait, I thought the Toa and Turaga were after Taku?

 

Tahu: Ah, we were going to tar and feather him, but we were out of tar and feathers, so we changed our minds.

 

Takanuva: Okay. Then let's take a closer look behind that mask!

 

( Takanuva tackles Makuta and tries to take his mask off. Another pitched struggle between the powers of light and darkness, as Takanuva strains with all his might and Makuta resists with what remains of his strength. Slowly but surely, to the dismay of the mighty Makuta, his mask begins to pry loose, and finally is freed from its place. . . )

 

Takanuva: Aha! Victory!

 

( Takanuva holds up the Mask of Light in his hand. )

 

Takanuva: O_O Wrong mask. *faints*

 

Director: >_<

 

Makuta: Oh, here, allow me.

 

( Makuta removes his mask and hands it to Takanuva. )

 

Director: ... 'Kay, this scene is now totally ruined... Ah, well... Just fall in the energized protodermis already. *slams forehead with clipboard* *repeatedly*

 

( Since Takanuva is unconscious, Makuta picks him up and falls sideways into the pool. )

 

Director: >_< Good grief.

 

Taku: Takanuva!

 

Pewku: Is he leaving me behind again? *glares at the pool* Don't make me come in there after you!

 

( Everyone gathers around the pool as several minutes pass. Then, suddenly, a beam of light shines out of the center of the pool, the liquid rippling around it. The beam grows thicker, and then forms the Bionicle symbol. )

 

Vakama: *gasp* Mata Nui. There we go again, saying "Mata Nui" for no apparent reason. Ah, precious memories.

 

Tahu: O_O Mata Nui's in the pool?!

 

( Tahu puts on swimming trunks and prepares to leap into the pool. Unfortunately, Lewa trips him and he falls flat on his face. )

 

Tahu: X_x I'll get you for this, Lewa...

 

Lewa: *tries to look innocent*

 

( The Bionicle symbol-shaped beam of light grows thicker still, soon getting thicker than Makuta- )

 

Makuta: Are you calling me-

 

( YES I AM!!! *cackles* Anywho, the sound of energy surging is heard and everyone runs away from the pool. )

 

Everyone: HEAD FOR THE HILLS!!! SOUND THE ALARM!!! IT'S THE BEAST FROM THE SILVER LAGOON!!!

 

( The light and energy surge ends with a burst and something slowly sticks it's head out of the pool... wearing a mask that is half Mask of Light and half Mask of Shadows. This is Takutanuva, the most powerful being ever to walk the surface of the island of Mata Nui! The collossal combination of Takanuva's and Makuta's beings steps out of the pool and utters ancient and powerful words: )

 

Takutanuva: My toe itches.

 

Everyone Else: o_o

 

Pewku: It's hideous!

 

Taku: *snaps a photo* ^_^ 'Nother one for the scrapbook!

 

Vakama: Light, shadow...

 

( Takutanuva stomps forward on big feet. )

 

Vakama: ...have become one.

 

Taku: Which is funny, really, since eventually Takanuva gets to have light and shadow powers again, when he becomes a titan. Again. :)

 

Tahu: Ooh, more Trivia.

 

Director: Not to mention SPOILERS!! *wacks Taku*

 

Takutanuva: Revealed the will of Mata Nui, the Light has. He has left us his board game collection. Yeehah!

 

Taku: :o Mata Nui's gonna die?!

 

( The director wacks him. Again. )

 

Taku: What'd I do? What'd I do?!

 

Director: Oh, you don't know? Nevermind then. Sorry about that.

 

Takutanuva: Awakened our brother must be.

 

( Takutanuva points to the door shaped like a Hau, which the Toa and Turaga happen to be standing in front of, and which they turn around to look at. )

 

Tahu: Now what's the significance of a Hau representing Mata Nui I wonder? *wink wink* *nudge nudge*

 

Gali: >_>

 

( Takutanuva reaches his giant hands underneath the door and a bright light shines from them. )

 

Takutanuva: Ooh, pretty light...

 

( He lifts the door the rest of the way as the Toa, Turaga, Hahli, Taku, and Pewku pass underneath it. )

 

Takutanuva: Go! Run! This thing is even heavier than that Great Spirit-sized Cheese Nip box I won at the fair a few years back...

 

Pewku: Oh, yeah! XD Remember when the crane broke down?

 

( Just then, Hahli, still holding Jaller's mask, passes underneath the door. )

 

Takutanuva: Hold, little one.

 

Hahli: o-o Hold what? The door or you? Either one is a bit heavy for me...

 

Takutanuva: The mask. That mask needs life.

 

( Takutanuva takes Jaller's mask, places it on the ground and, still grunting in exertion from holding the door, places his outstretched palm over the mask. Light and power glow from his palm, and after several moments, the bodily form of Jaller reappears under the mask. He blinks and slowly sits up. )

 

Jaller: Huh? Where am I, and where did all the pretty light go?

 

Hahli: Oh, Jaller! *hugglesquishes him*

 

Jaller: Oh, Hahli!

 

Hahli: Oh, Jaller!

 

Jaller: ... Oh, Hahli!

 

Hahli: ... Oh, Jaller!

 

Taku: *snaps a photo* ;)

 

Jaller: Hey!

 

( Takutanuva strains as his muscles are becoming tired after holding the door for so long. )

 

Takutanuva: My duty-

 

Jaller and Taku: He said doody. XD

 

Takutanuva: *giggle* -is done...

 

( Takutanuva is crushed by the giant door. )

 

Jaller: No! I was supposed to make the sacrifice! ... Which I did, actually. Well, this is a bit backwards.

 

Director: Don't forget your line, kid.

 

Jaller: But he just got crushed, it doesn't make sense! Ah, well... *ahem* Get out of there!

 

THE END


Edited by Takuaka: Toa of Time, Jul 24 2013 - 08:10 PM.

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This is where I'm supposed to have a signature, right? Alright, then.


Timaka: Toa of Time


I have very neat hand-writing.


#25 Offline Radagast367

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Posted Jul 25 2013 - 03:36 AM

Good work!


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If you think that godzilla is NOT awesome, you're either crazy,

or one of the many people who got trodden on while he was saving the world.

 

92% of teens have moved onto rap.

If you are part of the 8% that still listen to real music, copy and paste this into your signature

 


#26 Offline CHTrilogy

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Posted Jul 26 2013 - 05:44 AM

The mask sequence put a smile on my face. ^_^


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~ CHTrilogy

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#27 Offline Pohatu: Master of Stone

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Posted May 16 2014 - 03:48 PM

This series is awesome, and it should not be locked after this post! We need a sequel!


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If you use correct grammar in your posts (or try hard to), place this in your signature. Join Myst's campaign for correct grammar usage on BZPower!

:smilepohatunu: chimoru2015spinnie.gif

Credit to Click for the awesome Bionicle 2015 spinnie!

 

rahkshitoa.png

Credit to Voxumo for the sprite of my self-moc!

 


#28 Offline skratchR

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Posted May 18 2014 - 04:13 AM

You really should make something like this for the other three movies.


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#29 Offline Akavakaku

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Posted Jun 13 2014 - 01:23 AM

Onewa: Ahh, the Toa squabble like gukko birds over a berry.

Vakama: No they don't!

Onewa: Yes they do!

Vakama: No, they don't!

Onewa: YES, they DO!

Vakama: NO THEY DON'T!!!

Onewa: AAAAARRRRRGGGHHHH!!!

 

Onewa: Ah, this Toa will not simply appear and do nothing but eat Cheese Nips, as you and the others did. The Seventh Toa must be called. *bends down* Here Toa of Light! Here Toa Toa Toa! *whistles*

Takua: I also say: Hail Jaller! All hail Jaller! Herald of the Seventh Toa!

( Everyone throws hail at Jaller. )

 

Makuta: You morons better cut that bit out... *ahem* The earth shudders, my brother.

Earth: Do I? *shudders* I get nervous, okay!?!?

 

Earth: *shudders*

Makuta: GO AWAY!!!

 

Makuta: Their duty will be tripped and laughed at. Their destiny, I must post humiliating pictures about online...

Director: Who hired this guy...? Can't you stick to the script?!

Makuta: I'm an artist, okay? I ad-lib.

  

Kopaka: *fixes Takua's askew mask* Not luck. It's what you do that makes a hero. Wait, what am I saying? This is Takua we're talking about!

 

Pohatu: Onua, my father, it seems bashing granite is treating you well!

Bashing Granite: Ya' got that right. *continues massaging Onua*

 

Tahu: Fire has no brothers!

Gali: How about sisters?

Tahu: Hmm... *thinks* No, none of them either!

Gali:  :( 

 

Onua: Well, I actualy have a very specific method to that. It's actually very complicated, but I think that with a few minutes of discussion I can help you to grasp the basic con-

( Unfortunately, whatever the method was, it apparently failed, as the ceiling above the two noble Toa begins to collapse on them as well. )

Pohatu: Gah! No time, no time, move it!

Onua: But I love explaining these things! It'll only take a min-

( And with that, the two of them are buried in rubble.

 

Tahu: I... have... no... density!

 

( Just then Kopaka freezes Tahu into a block of solid ice. )

Kopaka: Sorry, brother.

Tahu: S'alright.

Kopaka: o.0

 

Lewa: Sister, he is open-eyed.

Gali: Like this? "O_O"

 

Takua: Mata-Nui's forehead! XD *bursts into hysterical laughter*

Jaller: O__o

Takua: Temple... Get it? Your "temple" is part of your forehead? Mata-Nui's forehead? ...

Jaller: *shrug*

Takua: Oh, fine! *humphs*

Director: *thinking* How did he know? This is back in 2003 before anyone knew Mata Nui was a giant robot! ... *talking* Moving on!

 

Jaller: This is it. The Seventh Toa must be here.

Takua: How can you tell?

Jaller: There's writing on that rock over there that says "Seventh Toa wuz here". 

 

Turahk: You killed my father!

Takua: Actually, I don't do that until a couple chapters from now. :-)

Director: MOVIE WRECKER!!!

Takua: Er, I mean, we did not!

 

Jaller's Voice Inside Takua's Head: You know who you are... are... are... Hey! Hey! Hey... Cool! Echo! Echo! Echo...

Pewku: I always knew the inside of your head would echo, Takua.

Takua: Hey!

 

Takanuva: I have but one destiny. That is, other than eventually transforming into a Titan-sized Toa of Twilight, and then shrinking down to the size of an Av-Matoran and switching my gold with silver, and-

Director: QUIT SPOILING FUTURE STORY-LINES!!!

 

( The bunny slippers hiss and slither into the shadows. )

 

Takanuva: You can no longer ad-lib in shadow.

Makuta: I am not. . . not shadow.

Takanuva: Hey, you mustn't never use no double negatives.

 

Makuta: 0.o What? You flailed to save your fiend. . . Don't ask me why. . . You didn't even warm him. . . 

 

Hahli: We are to awaken Mata Nui today.

( Everyone gasps. )

Jaller Mahri: *appears out of nowhere* Oh, if only it had been that simple. . . *vanishes*

 

Taku:  Mata Nui's gonna die?!

( The director wacks him. Again. )

Taku: What'd I do? What'd I do?!

Director: Oh, you don't know? Nevermind then. Sorry about that.

 

These parts were all so great! I love this!


Edited by Akavakaku, Jun 13 2014 - 01:24 AM.

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( The bunny slippers hiss and slither into the shadows. ) 

-Takuaka: Toa of Time

Marendar, the Legend of Spherus Magna: http://www.bzpower.c...-spherus-magna/

 

Get in the Robot entry: Kalmah's Conquest Exo http://www.bzpower.c...s-conquest-exo/

 

My BZRPG character: http://www.bzpower.c...pages/?p=668767

 


#30 Offline tokytot

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Posted Jul 08 2014 - 12:57 PM

All your toas are belong to us!


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:smiletakua:  :b:  :i:  :m_o:  :n:  :i:  :c:  :i:  :e: :smiletakua:

 

The awesomeness never ends!





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