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Pitch White-review


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#1 Offline Jaysii

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  • Inhabitant

  • 01-August 12
  • 0 posts

Posted Jan 10 2013 - 11:54 PM

Feel free to review my story "Pitch White" here!

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11235-jcd_large.png :i:  :c:  :a:  :r:  :u:  :s:

:m_d:  :e:  :u:  :s:  :e:  :x:  :m:  :a:  :c:  :h:  :i:  :n:  :a:

#2 Offline Tommy_

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  • Tohunga

  • 02-September 12
  • 54 posts

Posted Jan 11 2013 - 08:37 AM

Cool, is it going to be really long?

Nice start, certainly makes me curious about the rest of the story!


Oh and there's a small problem you should fix: First it says he hears the doorbell, but then he goes to see 'who knocked'.

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I turned out to be exactly the grown-up I wanted to be.
A child - but with a credit card.


Kanohi upside down = epic beard.

We've all tried it, don't deny it.

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