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Sentinels Of A Silent City

Vahki Visorak Metru Nui Short Story

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2 replies to this topic

#1 Offline Oniaku

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Posted Jan 17 2013 - 11:57 AM

A ruined Protodermis Statue stood watch over the area.

This Protodermis Goliath, slowly crumbling to the earth.

Its visage unrecognizable, it's solemn watch deteriorating.

Viewing this desolation and ruin was my purpose

I made my way to the Vahki hive.

The few Visorak ignored me, I am not their to them. Their spindly legs moving easily through the rubble of the old Vahki hive.

The Vahki's decayed mechanical bodies lied limp, having been shut off on patrol.

The Visorak's webs covered their bodies, allowing little room for truly recognizable parts.

A single cold eye stares up at me, the Vahki's other eye completely shattered.

It's silence seems consuming, rather than decaying.

A group of three Visorak meander their way through the rubble and ruin. They are among the last left, the last of a migrating species, recently relieved of their rulers.

A chance that should never have happened, but as they pass, they jostle a control panel.

There is a slow creaking as old systems, unused in years, come back to life.

There is a screech as a gear sticks, and it momentarily comes to a halt. A clunk, and the turning truly starts, the webs being pulled apart, the gears turning anew.

There is clicking, and the pods around me begin to open.

It takes a moment, a moment that feels longer than it is, but the eyes slowly begin to glow. A much dimmer glow than it once was, and broken by cracks and chips.

A Vahki pulls itself out of its pod, its left arm falling off as it does so.

All around me, the once silent guardians begin to rise.

As they all slowly stand, not only here, but across the entire city, the old programs take a while to become active.

The Vahki stand motionless for what seems to be many minutes, as their programs begin to activate.

As they activate, their eyes lock onto the Visorak, instantly recognizing a threat, moving out in battalions to combat the perceived threat.

There is clanking, and the Vahki begin their march, unable to run anymore. Missing limbs are seen anywhere.

Most Vahki are limping, a few are completely unable to walk, attempting to pull themselves across the ground towards the threat that has presented itself.

Some tumble over and shut off, the last of their meager existence spent. The noises begin to alert the Visorak, and suddenly, the Vahki begin to truly come to life, moving faster, rushing at the somewhat perplexed Visorak.

The Visorak screech, running towards the force of Vahki, pincers clanking together.

It is a slaughter. A mad slaughter.

The Visorak stood no chance against a force so overwhelming.

Many Vahki are also slaughtered, but they number so greatly that the numbers are almost unnoticed. I breeze through the streets, watching the carnage unfold. There were two or three misshapen, broken Vahki to every Visorak they fought.

I watched a certain fight, between a Vohtarak Visorak and three Kheerahk. The Visorak threw them off, attempting to get away, but was quickly attacked by a Kranua that had shifted its body to sand underneath the Visorak. It was smashed back to the ground by the Kranua, and tackled by the three Kheerahk Vahki. This was the sort of carnage happening across the entire city.

It didn't take long, only a few hours, but the Vahki had taken back the city.

They stood up straight, if they could, and marched as units to their respective metrus, most limped, some made their way without their back legs, slowly following with only their forelegs.

I breezed along, watching as they resumed their patrols, resuming their slow march around Metru Nui...

I found my way back to my body, and ended my walk outside. But I didn't forget what I had seen, and one day, I went back.

I went back, and at first, the city seemed silent, but slowly, slowly, I heard a noise.

Krisssshhh. Clank. Krisssshhh. Clank. Krisssshhh. Clank.

Slowly a Vahki came into view. It was dragging its leg, causing the sound I had hear.

The patrol had resumed their march, and continued the job they had once had, in spite of the Matoran that they no longer had.

A quiet, eternal patrol, in a ruined dream of a city.


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#2 Offline Tehurye

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Posted Jan 17 2013 - 09:07 PM

This was a very fun read! :)

 

I don't have time to nitpick over grammar, so I'll just congratulate you for the setting and story. You did a great job of describing the environment, the characters, and the sounds. Even though this was non-canon, it feels like it could have happened. This opinion may not be shared among everyone, but Vahki are some of my favorite characters, so the entire setting (and the way the battle turned out) was enjoyable to read.

 

Thanks a lot!


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- From the Office/Lair of Tehurye: The Talkative Scholar


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#3 Offline Oniaku

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Posted Jan 17 2013 - 10:06 PM

This was a very fun read! :)

 

I don't have time to nitpick over grammar, so I'll just congratulate you for the setting and story. You did a great job of describing the environment, the characters, and the sounds. Even though this was non-canon, it feels like it could have happened. This opinion may not be shared among everyone, but Vahki are some of my favorite characters, so the entire setting (and the way the battle turned out) was enjoyable to read.

 

Thanks a lot!

Thank you, it's good to hear I'm doing well, and yes, grammar usage is not a very strong point for me.


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