Hello all! Welcome to TBTTRAM, the official half/sorta/kinda sequel to Aftermath 2, my previous comedy/epic crossover thingy. Quick bit of backstory just to set things up, TBTTRAM takes place right after a gigantic war was waged between Bionicle and Hero Factory sets over...something silly...and in the end, the Bionicles' house was destroyed and only a few survivors remained. Those remaining few moved to a mansion in Hawaii...where a new adventure is about to begin...
Thanks for reading, and hope you enjoy!
ANYONE BUT NINJA THEORY AND DONTE PRESENTS...
"Uh…what exactly is that creepy noise?"
"Oh, that? That's just the fridge."
"…the fridge sounds like a dying cat?"
"Well…no, not the fridge. Just the dying cat inside the fridge."
…AN MT STUDIOS PRODUCTION THAT HAD NO PRODUCTION BUDGET...
"Hmm. I seem to have lost my pants."
"…I've literally never seen you wearing pants. Ever."
"Man. Must have lost them a really long time ago then. When exactly was the first time we met?"
…THE POSSIBLY POTENTIALLY EXCITING HALF-SEQUEL TO AFTERMATH 2 AND THE NEXT CHAPTER IN THE BIONICLES TRY TO RUN A HOUSE SERIES…
"…even for Hawaii…this feels really hot."
"Oh, well, that's cause this isn't normal Hawaii."
"Yeah. This mansion is built on top of a volcano."
"Pretty cool, huh? Just hope it doesn't erupt…or then it gets a lot hotter."
"I take it back. Staying behind at the rubble of the house and getting eaten by stray dogs would have been better. I wanna go home."
"…hey! Wait! I was only kidding! It's not really built on top of a volcano…I think…"
…STARRING YOUR FAVORITE PLASTIC HEROES!
TAHU: The former co-leader of a large group of Bionicles living at a house, he now leads a much smaller group of survivors as they start life in a new home.
PRIDAK: Tahu's self-proclaimed friendly neighborhood antagonist, the last surviving Barraki is still grieving over the loss of his former teammates…or, well, the fact that they didn't live long enough to bequeath him anything in their wills.
…not that they would have bequeathed him anything in the first place.
…for that matter, they didn't live long enough to buy anything that they could have bequeathed him.
XPLODE: A sarcastic Hero Factory villain who despises Pridak above all(he knocked him into a fireplace once), Xplode is very level headed and down to Earth. Except when he's not.
EVO and NEX: The two partially responsible for the acquisition of the mansion, these two plastic adventurers serve as Tahu and Co's guide to the new mansion that is probably not built on a volcano.
SAMUS ARAN and MASTER CHIEF: The action figure hero space marine/bounty hunter duo. One is smart, the other likes Fire Emblem. Not that you have to be dumb to like Fire Emblem…
MARIO: Pridak's slave. Don't ask how.
ZAKTAN and the PIRAKA: Once a group of feared hunters who took what they pleased, the Piraka were later reduced to mere shadows of their former selves in 2007 when…oh, wait. That's the real Bionicle story.
Yeah, these Piraka don't do anything besides cause trouble.
OMEGA TURTLE: A stuffed turtle with, quite literally, the ability to eat anything and everything. Those "so hungry I could eat a horse" jokes kind of fly over his head every time. Actually, the concept of not being hungry flies over his head as well.
NOCTURN and GADUNKA: Two best friends who eat anything and everything. Tahu once had to install mines in front of his fridge to keep his supply of food safe from these two, which worked until they mistook the mines for waffles and ate them too.
TRY TO RUN A MANSION
Chapter 1: Welcome to the Mansion
In a rather secluded location…
At the front of a very large mansion…
Evo: Well…this is it!
Nex: What do you think?
Evo: …er, yeah, well, besides that.
Tahu: I suppose it has a certain charm to it.
Pridak: A charm...of bigness.
Nex: Oh, come on. What's the matter?
Tahu: Well…it's just the old house we lived in was hard enough to upkeep with the amount of residents we had then. This place is like, ten times as large…and we have…fifteen…sixteen…seventeen people here.
Evo: Well…look at it this way. If the place is so big, the ones that cause trouble won't be able to make it to other parts of the house…which will then keep them from breaking something.
Tahu: (looks at the Piraka) …yeah…right.
Nex: Well, let's at least take a look inside. (opens the door)
Tahu: (shrug) Whatever. (walks inside, followed by the rest of his group)
Nex: Check out the beautiful chandelier on the ceiling.
Pridak: …is that…a bunch of light particles suspended in air?
Nex: Ha ha. No. It's actually light bulbs made to look that way, though.
Pridak: Oh. Well that kind of ruined the cool factor for that.
Evo: …well…uh…the kitchen is this way as well…and I'm sure you'll find it absolutely spectacular as well…
Avak: (kicks a dust ball on the floor) Man…this is boring as heck.
Thok: Oh, be quiet. You think anything that doesn't have to do with blowing something up is boring.
Avak: …that's not true at all. I'm an engineer. I build stuff.
Thok: …you build stuff to blow up.
Avak: Hey, at least I have a job in life. All you do is sit around and look at lolcatz pictures.
Thok: I'd prefer my lolcatz over your engineering.
Avak: That's because you're a loser.
Thok: …yeah, well, you're fat.
Zaktan: Hush! Both of you!
Avak: I am not! You are easily twice my weight!
Thok: Twice? Ha! Only if this is backwards day!
Avak: It's "opposite," and the only thing that's backwards is your sense of perception if you think I weight twice as much as you!
Thok: I'll show you a sense of perception. (smacks Avak in the face)
Avak: Ow! Hey! (hits Thok)
Thok: (punches Avak in the face)
Avak: Oh, all right, that's it. (charges Thok)
Thok: (rears back, ready to punch Avak)
Avak: (dives and tackles Thok)
Avak and Thok: (burst through a door and go tumbling down some stairs)
*WHUMP!* *WHAM!* *SLAM!* *CRASH!!!*
Zaktan: …I better go check on that.
Zaktan: Vezok, Reidak, Hakann, come on in case those two need to be separated. We'll catch up with you guys later.
Tahu: Very well.
Meanwhile, at the bottom of the stairs…
Avak: Get off of me, you fat lard tub.
Thok: Lard tub? You were the one who(kicks at Avak and hits something on the wall)
Thok: …it's a secret passageway.
Zaktan: (opens the door and heads down the stairs) What are you two arguing about now?
Thok: Look! A secret passage!
Hakann: Great. You found a basement. Excellent work. Maybe you can stumble upon another amazing discovery of an attic sometime later.
Avak: It's got some sort of note here, too…
Vezok: What's it say?
Thok: …it's in Spanish…I can't read it…
Hakann: Well, lucky for you somewhere here reads Spanish.
Thok: …you read Spanish?
Hakann: Of course. I've had to make plenty of…illegal transactions…in other languages before.
Vezok: And by that you mean buying pirated software from people in other countries?
Zaktan: Why the heck would you buy pirated software?
Hakann: Cause I'm bad at pirating and I don't feel like paying full price. That way, it's only half illegal. (walks up to the wall and begins to read)
Thok: What's it say?
Hakann: …for those…who wish to find…the ultimate treasure…continue forward…but beware the horrible traps of destiny…or you will die…horribly.
Zaktan: …well that seems completely legit.
Reidak: I'm sold. Let's do it.
Vezok: …the traps of destiny…huh?
Avak: Hang on a second…are you sure that's what it says? (grabs the note from Hakann)
Hakann: Why, of course…I did learn Spanish after all.
Avak: …this looks like a fast food restaurant receipt…for two burritos.
Hakann: …well…it's written in a certain style of dialect.
Avak: How in the world did you get "horrible traps of destiny" out of this?
Hakann: Look. (begins pointing to various parts of the receipt) Horrible. Traps. Of. Destiny.
Avak: …the word "horrible" that you pointed to is a Taco Bell logo.
Hakann: Exactly. The Spanish words for horrible. "Taco Bell."
Zaktan: This is a waste of time. Can we get back upstairs already?
Vezok: What's the rush? I say we go ahead and explore this secret passageway thingy.
Zaktan: Oh great. Then we can run into the Taco Bells of destiny.
Avak: Look. If there's nothing there, we don't really lose anything. I don't know about you, but I'm not really up for sitting through the rest of that tour through the house.
Vezok: And…on the off chance it does have some treasure inside it…well…we just got richer!
Zaktan: All right, fine. Whatever. We'll go explore it.
Zaktan: However…you have to go first.
Vezok: Wait what.
Zaktan: You want to explore so badly…you lead the way.
Vezok: …whatever. (heads down the tunnel)
Vezok: …oh well. It can't be that bad, right? *WHAM!*
Vezok: OW!!! OWWWW!!! AAAUUUGGGHHHH!!!
Hakann: Told you it read traps of destiny.
Avak: Vezok! Are you all right? What kind of trap is it?
Vezok: …ow…it's…it's nothing…I just stubbed my toe.
Thok: …well this is off to a spectacular start.
Avak: Told you it said Taco Bell.
Hakann: Shut up.
Zaktan: All right…let's just…get this exploration over with. (heads into the secret passageway, followed by the rest of the Piraka)
Meanwhile, back upstairs…
Evo: And this here is the wonderful indoor heated pool.
Tahu: …a heated pool?
Evo: Yep. You wouldn't believe how big of a pain it was to install.
Tahu: Try me.
Evo: …well…if you really insist. (pulls out a piece of paper)
Evo: Here. This is a list of supplies, and the instructions are attached on the back. You can probably have your own up and working in about three or so months.
Tahu: …I didn't mean like…oh forget it.
Nex: But you'll probably want to wait a while after you finish it to let the chemicals mix. Killing bacteria takes about another week or so. We're still waiting for the chlorine to kick in here as well.
Samus: How bad would it be if we got in the pool now?
Evo: Oh, no, don't get in it yet. We only just got through with adding the chlorine.
Samus: …I meant that more as a "how bad would it be if it already happened" question.
Samus: (points to the pool)
Nex: (turns around and notices the rest of the Bionicles in the pool) …oh.
Omega Turtle: (climbs out of the pool and stumbles onto the ground by Evo, Nex, Tahu and Samus)
Omega Turtle: I think this is the buh reason why real turtles don't have any buh fur. My arms are so buh heavy I can't even move.
Nex: I'll get the hairdryer.
Omega Turtle: Buh thanks.
The Piraka's adventure continues!
The mansion tour continues!
More stuff happens!