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The Bionicles Try To Run A Mansion


MT Zehvor

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Hello all! Welcome to TBTTRAM, the official half/sorta/kinda sequel to Aftermath 2, my previous comedy/epic crossover thingy. Quick bit of backstory just to set things up, TBTTRAM takes place right after a gigantic war was waged between Bionicle and Hero Factory sets over...something silly...and in the end, the Bionicles' house was destroyed and only a few survivors remained. Those remaining few moved to a mansion in Hawaii...where a new adventure is about to begin...

 

Thanks for reading, and hope you enjoy!

 

======

 

ANYONE BUT NINJA THEORY AND DONTE PRESENTS...

 

"Uh…what exactly is that creepy noise?"

"Oh, that? That's just the fridge."

"…the fridge sounds like a dying cat?"

"Well…no, not the fridge. Just the dying cat inside the fridge."

 

…AN MT STUDIOS PRODUCTION THAT HAD NO PRODUCTION BUDGET...

 

"Hmm. I seem to have lost my pants."

"…I've literally never seen you wearing pants. Ever."

"Man. Must have lost them a really long time ago then. When exactly was the first time we met?"

 

…THE POSSIBLY POTENTIALLY EXCITING HALF-SEQUEL TO AFTERMATH 2 AND THE NEXT CHAPTER IN THE BIONICLES TRY TO RUN A HOUSE SERIES…

 

"…even for Hawaii…this feels really hot."

"Oh, well, that's cause this isn't normal Hawaii."

"…uh…'normal Hawaii?'"

"Yeah. This mansion is built on top of a volcano."

"…"

"Pretty cool, huh? Just hope it doesn't erupt…or then it gets a lot hotter."

"I take it back. Staying behind at the rubble of the house and getting eaten by stray dogs would have been better. I wanna go home."

"…hey! Wait! I was only kidding! It's not really built on top of a volcano…I think…"

 

…STARRING YOUR FAVORITE PLASTIC HEROES!

 

TAHU: The former co-leader of a large group of Bionicles living at a house, he now leads a much smaller group of survivors as they start life in a new home.

 

PRIDAK: Tahu's self-proclaimed friendly neighborhood antagonist, the last surviving Barraki is still grieving over the loss of his former teammates…or, well, the fact that they didn't live long enough to bequeath him anything in their wills.

 

…not that they would have bequeathed him anything in the first place.

 

…for that matter, they didn't live long enough to buy anything that they could have bequeathed him.

 

XPLODE: A sarcastic Hero Factory villain who despises Pridak above all(he knocked him into a fireplace once), Xplode is very level headed and down to Earth. Except when he's not.

 

EVO and NEX: The two partially responsible for the acquisition of the mansion, these two plastic adventurers serve as Tahu and Co's guide to the new mansion that is probably not built on a volcano.

 

SAMUS ARAN and MASTER CHIEF: The action figure hero space marine/bounty hunter duo. One is smart, the other likes Fire Emblem. Not that you have to be dumb to like Fire Emblem…

 

MARIO: Pridak's slave. Don't ask how.

 

ZAKTAN and the PIRAKA: Once a group of feared hunters who took what they pleased, the Piraka were later reduced to mere shadows of their former selves in 2007 when…oh, wait. That's the real Bionicle story.

 

Yeah, these Piraka don't do anything besides cause trouble.

 

OMEGA TURTLE: A stuffed turtle with, quite literally, the ability to eat anything and everything. Those "so hungry I could eat a horse" jokes kind of fly over his head every time. Actually, the concept of not being hungry flies over his head as well.

 

NOCTURN and GADUNKA: Two best friends who eat anything and everything. Tahu once had to install mines in front of his fridge to keep his supply of food safe from these two, which worked until they mistook the mines for waffles and ate them too.

 

__THE__

___[bIONICLES]___

TRY TO RUN A MANSION

 

Chapter 1: Welcome to the Mansion

 

In a rather secluded location…

At the front of a very large mansion…

 

Evo: Well…this is it!

Nex: What do you think?

Tahu: …

Zaktan: ..

Pridak: …it's…um…big.

Evo: …er, yeah, well, besides that.

Tahu: I suppose it has a certain charm to it.

Pridak: A charm...of bigness.

Nex: Oh, come on. What's the matter?

Tahu: Well…it's just the old house we lived in was hard enough to upkeep with the amount of residents we had then. This place is like, ten times as large…and we have…fifteen…sixteen…seventeen people here.

Evo: Well…look at it this way. If the place is so big, the ones that cause trouble won't be able to make it to other parts of the house…which will then keep them from breaking something.

Tahu: (looks at the Piraka) …yeah…right.

Nex: Well, let's at least take a look inside. (opens the door)

Tahu: (shrug) Whatever. (walks inside, followed by the rest of his group)

Nex: Check out the beautiful chandelier on the ceiling.

Tahu: …

Pridak: …is that…a bunch of light particles suspended in air?

Nex: Ha ha. No. It's actually light bulbs made to look that way, though.

Pridak: Oh. Well that kind of ruined the cool factor for that.

Nex: …

Tahu: …

Evo: …well…uh…the kitchen is this way as well…and I'm sure you'll find it absolutely spectacular as well…

Avak: (kicks a dust ball on the floor) Man…this is boring as heck.

Thok: Oh, be quiet. You think anything that doesn't have to do with blowing something up is boring.

Avak: …that's not true at all. I'm an engineer. I build stuff.

Thok: …you build stuff to blow up.

Avak: Hey, at least I have a job in life. All you do is sit around and look at lolcatz pictures.

Thok: I'd prefer my lolcatz over your engineering.

Avak: That's because you're a loser.

Thok: …yeah, well, you're fat.

Zaktan: Hush! Both of you!

Avak: I am not! You are easily twice my weight!

Thok: Twice? Ha! Only if this is backwards day!

Avak: It's "opposite," and the only thing that's backwards is your sense of perception if you think I weight twice as much as you!

Thok: I'll show you a sense of perception. (smacks Avak in the face)

Avak: Ow! Hey! (hits Thok)

Thok: (punches Avak in the face)

Avak: Oh, all right, that's it. (charges Thok)

Thok: (rears back, ready to punch Avak)

Avak: (dives and tackles Thok)

Thok: Whoop!

Avak and Thok: (burst through a door and go tumbling down some stairs)

*WHUMP!* *WHAM!* *SLAM!* *CRASH!!!*

Tahu: …

Evo: …

Zaktan: …I better go check on that.

Tahu: …

Zaktan: Vezok, Reidak, Hakann, come on in case those two need to be separated. We'll catch up with you guys later.

Tahu: Very well.

 

Meanwhile, at the bottom of the stairs…

Thok: …oogh…

Avak: Get off of me, you fat lard tub.

Thok: Lard tub? You were the one who(kicks at Avak and hits something on the wall)

*CREAK!*

Thok: …creak?

Avak: …whoa…

Thok: …it's a secret passageway.

Zaktan: (opens the door and heads down the stairs) What are you two arguing about now?

Thok: Look! A secret passage!

Hakann: Great. You found a basement. Excellent work. Maybe you can stumble upon another amazing discovery of an attic sometime later.

Avak: It's got some sort of note here, too…

Vezok: What's it say?

Thok: …it's in Spanish…I can't read it…

Hakann: Well, lucky for you somewhere here reads Spanish.

Thok: …you read Spanish?

Hakann: Of course. I've had to make plenty of…illegal transactions…in other languages before.

Vezok: And by that you mean buying pirated software from people in other countries?

Hakann: …maybe.

Zaktan: Why the heck would you buy pirated software?

Hakann: Cause I'm bad at pirating and I don't feel like paying full price. That way, it's only half illegal. (walks up to the wall and begins to read)

Reidak: …

Thok: What's it say?

Hakann: …for those…who wish to find…the ultimate treasure…continue forward…but beware the horrible traps of destiny…or you will die…horribly.

Thok: …

Zaktan: …well that seems completely legit.

Reidak: I'm sold. Let's do it.

Zaktan: …

Vezok: …the traps of destiny…huh?

Avak: Hang on a second…are you sure that's what it says? (grabs the note from Hakann)

Hakann: Why, of course…I did learn Spanish after all.

Avak: …

Zaktan: …

Avak: …this looks like a fast food restaurant receipt…for two burritos.

Hakann: …well…it's written in a certain style of dialect.

Avak: How in the world did you get "horrible traps of destiny" out of this?

Hakann: Look. (begins pointing to various parts of the receipt) Horrible. Traps. Of. Destiny.

Avak: …the word "horrible" that you pointed to is a Taco Bell logo.

Hakann: Exactly. The Spanish words for horrible. "Taco Bell."

Zaktan: This is a waste of time. Can we get back upstairs already?

Vezok: What's the rush? I say we go ahead and explore this secret passageway thingy.

Zaktan: Oh great. Then we can run into the Taco Bells of destiny.

Avak: Look. If there's nothing there, we don't really lose anything. I don't know about you, but I'm not really up for sitting through the rest of that tour through the house.

Zaktan: …

Vezok: And…on the off chance it does have some treasure inside it…well…we just got richer!

Zaktan: All right, fine. Whatever. We'll go explore it.

Thok: Hooray!

Zaktan: However…you have to go first.

Vezok: Wait what.

Zaktan: You want to explore so badly…you lead the way.

Vezok: …

Avak: …

Vezok: …whatever. (heads down the tunnel)

Avak: …

Vezok: …oh well. It can't be that bad, right? *WHAM!*

Zaktan: …

Vezok: OW!!! OWWWW!!! AAAUUUGGGHHHH!!!

Hakann: Told you it read traps of destiny.

Avak: Vezok! Are you all right? What kind of trap is it?

Vezok: …ow…it's…it's nothing…I just stubbed my toe.

Zaktan: …

Thok: …well this is off to a spectacular start.

Avak: Told you it said Taco Bell.

Hakann: Shut up.

Zaktan: All right…let's just…get this exploration over with. (heads into the secret passageway, followed by the rest of the Piraka)

 

Meanwhile, back upstairs…

Evo: And this here is the wonderful indoor heated pool.

Tahu: …a heated pool?

Evo: Yep. You wouldn't believe how big of a pain it was to install.

Tahu: Try me.

Evo: …well…if you really insist. (pulls out a piece of paper)

Tahu: …?

Evo: Here. This is a list of supplies, and the instructions are attached on the back. You can probably have your own up and working in about three or so months.

Tahu: …I didn't mean like…oh forget it.

Nex: But you'll probably want to wait a while after you finish it to let the chemicals mix. Killing bacteria takes about another week or so. We're still waiting for the chlorine to kick in here as well.

Samus: How bad would it be if we got in the pool now?

Evo: Oh, no, don't get in it yet. We only just got through with adding the chlorine.

Samus: …I meant that more as a "how bad would it be if it already happened" question.

Nex: …what?

Samus: (points to the pool)

Nex: (turns around and notices the rest of the Bionicles in the pool) …oh.

Pridak: Wheeee!

Omega Turtle: (climbs out of the pool and stumbles onto the ground by Evo, Nex, Tahu and Samus)

Evo: …

Tahu: …

Omega Turtle: I think this is the buh reason why real turtles don't have any buh fur. My arms are so buh heavy I can't even move.

Nex: I'll get the hairdryer.

Omega Turtle: Buh thanks.

 

Next time:

The Piraka's adventure continues!

The mansion tour continues!

More stuff happens!

 

(maybe)

 

-MT

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But that's what makes it better than A2. I already see humor creeping through, and I'm sure it will utterly consume me by the next chapter.

 

And it's not like you didn't kill off characters in TvT either, ibrow.

 

Meanwhile, at the bottom of the stairs…

Thok: …oogh…

Avak: Get off of me, you fat lard tub.

Thok: Lard tub? You were the one who(kicks at Avak and hits something on the wall)

*CREAK!*

Thok: …creak?

Avak: …whoa…

Thok: …it's a secret passageway.

Zaktan: (opens the door and heads down the stairs) What are you two arguing about now?

Thok: Look! A secret passage!

Hakann: Great. You found a basement. Excellent work. Maybe you can stumble upon another amazing discovery of an attic sometime later.

Avak: It's got some sort of note here, too…

Vezok: What's it say?

Thok: …it's in Spanish…I can't read it…

Hakann: Well, lucky for you somewhere here reads Spanish.

Thok: …you read Spanish?

Hakann: Of course. I've had to make plenty of…illegal transactions…in other languages before.

Vezok: And by that you mean buying pirated software from people in other countries?

Hakann: …maybe.

Zaktan: Why the heck would you buy pirated software?

Hakann: Cause I'm bad at pirating and I don't feel like paying full price. That way, it's only half illegal. (walks up to the wall and begins to read)

Reidak: …

Thok: What's it say?

Hakann: …for those…who wish to find…the ultimate treasure…continue forward…but beware the horrible traps of destiny…or you will die…horribly.

Thok: …

Zaktan: …well that seems completely legit.

Reidak: I'm sold. Let's do it.

Zaktan: …

Vezok: …the traps of destiny…huh?

Avak: Hang on a second…are you sure that's what it says? (grabs the note from Hakann)

Hakann: Why, of course…I did learn Spanish after all.

Avak: …

Zaktan: …

Avak: …this looks like a fast food restaurant receipt…for two burritos.

Hakann: …well…it's written in a certain style of dialect.

Avak: How in the world did you get "horrible traps of destiny" out of this?

Hakann: Look. (begins pointing to various parts of the receipt) Horrible. Traps. Of. Destiny.

Avak: …the word "horrible" that you pointed to is a Taco Bell logo.

Hakann: Exactly. The Spanish words for horrible. "Taco Bell."

Zaktan: This is a waste of time. Can we get back upstairs already?

Vezok: What's the rush? I say we go ahead and explore this secret passageway thingy.

Zaktan: Oh great. Then we can run into the Taco Bells of destiny.

Avak: Look. If there's nothing there, we don't really lose anything. I don't know about you, but I'm not really up for sitting through the rest of that tour through the house.

Zaktan: …

Vezok: And…on the off chance it does have some treasure inside it…well…we just got richer!

Zaktan: All right, fine. Whatever. We'll go explore it.

Thok: Hooray!

Zaktan: However…you have to go first.

Vezok: Wait what.

Zaktan: You want to explore so badly…you lead the way.

Vezok: …

Avak: …

Vezok: …whatever. (heads down the tunnel)

Avak: …

Vezok: …oh well. It can't be that bad, right? *WHAM!*

Zaktan: …

Vezok: OW!!! OWWWW!!! AAAUUUGGGHHHH!!!

Hakann: Told you it read traps of destiny.

Avak: Vezok! Are you all right? What kind of trap is it?

Vezok: …ow…it's…it's nothing…I just stubbed my toe.

Zaktan: …

Thok: …well this is off to a spectacular start.

Avak: Told you it said Taco Bell.

Hakann: Shut up.

Zaktan: All right…let's just…get this exploration over with. (heads into the secret passageway, followed by the rest of the Piraka)

 

I am 95% positive that there is something within this hidden passageway. Their Zamor Launchers will be 5% useful on this adventure. I highly reccomend shutting this Fi voice off before it gets too annoying...OVERLOAD. If Fi ever enters the world of TBTTRAM...

 

That was weird. In conclusion, good start and I can't wait to see more!

 

~LTT~

The long awaited third season of TA:OT is finally here!!

 

 

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I can't believe you killed all of the Barraki!

IT'S ALL BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T LET MANTAX BEAT UP TORCH, IBROW!

 

I am 95% positive that there is something within this hidden passageway. Their Zamor Launchers will be 5% useful on this adventure. I highly reccomend shutting this Fi voice off before it gets too annoying...OVERLOAD. If Fi ever enters the world of TBTTRAM...

Oh no.

 

No no no no no no no no.

 

I am NOT letting any sword/spirit/robot thing anywhere near my comedy.

 

They are completely banned.

 

...

 

And I detect a 50% chance that the batteries in your Wii remote are running low.

 

-MT

Edited by Toa Zehvor MT

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Chapter 2: Security Compromise

 

Somewhere in the basement passageways…

Vezok: (walks into a small, circular room)…whoa…

Avak: What is it?

Vezok: Look at this.

Zaktan: …looks like Toa canisters.

Reidak: Toa canisters?

Zaktan: Yeah. They launch Toa of out of them. Or, rather, pieces of Toa, which according to Lego advertising, magically assemble themselves into someone that tries to kill us.

Reidak: …then let's blow them up! We can't let these guys spawn! (runs over and smacks a Toa canister as hard as he can)

*WHUMP!*

Reidak: …

Zaktan: …

Reidak: …wait…there's…nothing inside…

Zaktan: Well, no one said that there would be, only that that's what they're used for. These things were probably abandoned here a while ago by whatever Toa used them.

Thok: I don't like this. I thought we were supposed to be the first Bionicles here. This seems like a trap.

Hakann: Oh, please. You thought the McDonalds' playground ball pit was a trap as well.

Thok: It was! I swear that kid just disappeared into it! There's probably some parent still out there crying because their kid just magically "disappeared" one day…when in reality…it was that evil trap that took them away.

Hakann: …I…really don't know how to respond to that.

Avak: Hey, guys. Over here.

Zaktan: What is it?

Avak: It's some writing.

Vezok: Hope it's not another Taco Bell receipt.

Avak: "If the ultimate power you wish to gain…prepare yourselves to sing in pain."

Zaktan: …sing in pain?

Avak: …that's what it says.

Zaktan: …what the heck's that mean?

Reidak: Maybe, if we start singing, we'll find out.

Zaktan: Don't you even-

Reidak: LAAAAAAAAAAA….LA LA LA LAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! LAAAAAAA-

*WHACK!*

Reidak: Ow!

Hakann: Shut up.

Reidak: …man…oh! I got it! LAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

Zaktan: Reidak. Shut up.

Reidak: No! I'm in pain, and I was singing! Now we get the ultimate power, right!?

Hakann: …

Vezok: …

Avak: …

Thok: …

Zaktan: …

Reidak: …well nuts.

Avak: Let's get out of here. This is just silly.

Hakann: What? Why? We're not done exploring yet!

Vezok: Yeah. We still have to find that ultimate power!

Avak: …you don't seriously believe we're going to find "ultimate power" inside the basement of this oversized house, do you?

Hakann: (shrugs)

Vezok: You never know.

Avak: Fine. Whatever. We'll keep exploring.

Vezok: Awesome. (heads out of the room and continues following the passageway) Let's find this ultimate powe-(trips)

*WHUMP!*

Vezok: …ow!

Hakann: Maybe the ultimate power can be something that lets you walk properly.

Vezok: It wasn't me! There's a stupid wire hung across the passageway here!

Zaktan: A…wire?

Vezok: …yeah. Why?

Zaktan: …you don't feel anything, do you? Like dying?

Vezok: What? No. I don't feel like I'm dying. What the heck are you talking about?

Zaktan: …it sounds like you came across a trip wire.

Vezok: …

Zaktan: Ah well. It probably stopped working a long time ago, whenever those Toa canisters were used. Let's keep moving then.

 

Meanwhile, in the kitchen…

Evo: …they seem to have taken an intense liking to the fridge.

Tahu: …yeah.

Nocturn: (hugs the fridge) Bestest friendest foreverest.

Gadunka: Gadunka.

Nex: …it's a little weird…but, uh…hey, however they celebrate food is fine with me.

Tahu: Oh, no, it's not fine. They celebrate their food not just by hugging it, but by eating it as well.

Evo: …I don't get it. Why isn't that fine?

Tahu: Because they celebrate their food, your food, my food, and the neighbor down the street's food as well.

Evo: Oh.

Nex: I seem to remember them having some strong ever present desire to eat.

Evo: …

Samus: …I also seem to remember them not being quite so…eager to celebrate the fridge.

Nocturn: (begins kissing the fridge)

Tahu: Well, it's been an entire war since they've eaten anything. We might want to go get something to eat.

Evo: Good idea. There's a great Chinese restaurant a little ways down the road. Let's go.

Tahu: …are we just going to leave the house like this? With only those pool obsess-ers behind?

Nex: Oh, no, it's fine. Don't worry. We established a fool proof security system before you guys came. Anyone who breaks in to restricted territory or who is not an established resident of the house will quickly be apprehended by security guards with the highest degree of training.

Samus: …

Tahu: …

Evo: …he means me, of course. Ha ha! I'll stay behind and watch the house.

Tahu: …oh. Whew. That was about to get really creepy for a second.

Nex: What, did you think we'd taken the time to set up a complex security system with responding guards to take down intruders? Ha ha…come on, let's go.

Tahu: …

Samus: (pulls Tahu aside)…that laugh sounds a bit too creepy for my liking…

Tahu: Oh, come on. It's Evo and Nex. They can't possibly have designed something THAT complex.

 

Meanwhile, in some part of the basement below…

Large Hero Factory Set: (emerges from a Toa canister and notices the scattered debris and wrecked Toa canister on the ground beside him)…hmm…

 

To be continued…

 

-MT

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I can't believe you killed all of the Barraki!

IT'S ALL BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T LET MANTAX BEAT UP TORCH, IBROW!

 

...finally ze gets what ze deserves :P :P :P.

 

And I detect a 50% chance that the batteries in your Wii remote are running low.

 

-MT

She's already done it ;).

 

And Chapter 2 is pretty interesting (hey, let's kiss some fridges). In all seriousness, that HF set will probably be trouble.

 

Or could just be like Batreaux and be a harmless manbat.

 

Good chappy.

 

~LTT~

The long awaited third season of TA:OT is finally here!!

 

 

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So this next chapter has taken me way too long to write. Apologies, but you can likely already guess the excuse.

 

It's the last week before Spring Break, and it seems every single teacher on campus has taken that to mean: "Let's assign lots of stuff!" I've had 4 papers, 2 tests, and other various assignments all scheduled within the last 7 school days before break. So needless to say, I've been busy.

 

I should have it done by tomorrow, but if I don't, meh, you know who to blame.

 

Such is the life of an economics major.

 

-MT

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In any case, everybody who does Econ in my school frets about crazily. Each morning they go like 'HW HW TEST TEST REVISE WAT U GET FOR SKORE'.

You've managed to sum up my life quite nicely. :P

 

At any rate, yes, Spring Break is next week. Summer Break starts at the beginning of May, so our breaks are much longer. We just don't get any of the smaller breaks that grade schools get. We have Fall Break, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Spring Break, and then three or so days off here and there for teacher assessments and the occasional snow day.

 

Chapter 3: Drive Thru Gone Wrong

 

At a restaurant, downtown…

Nex: Here we are. (gives the steering wheel a shove and the car lurches into a parking lot)

Tahu: …uh…wow.

Nex: Kind of takes your breath away, huh?

Tahu: For all the wrong reasons, yeah.

Samus: Are you sure this is a restaurant? It looks like a…dumpster…giving out food.

Nex: Ha ha. No, no, it's great. You'll love it. (steers the car into the drive-thru)

Tahu: …love, huh?

Speaker Voice: *click* Hello! Welcome to Fat Kitty's Chinese Extravaganza!

Tahu: …

Samus: …wait…what?

Speaker Voice: Would you like to try our Mystery Sauce Chicken today?

Nex: Sure!-

Tahu: NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT.

Nex: …

Speaker Voice: …uh…ok, what can I get you then?

Tahu: A whopper from the Burger King across the street and a ride home.

Nex: Ha ha…uh…he means we'd like the special of the day!

Tahu: …that's not at all what I meant.

Speaker Voice: One special of the day, coming right up!

Samus: …I think one of the first signs that a town is in a sorry state is when its Chinese restaurant is so bad it's resorting to serving "mystery sauce."

Nex: (drives the car through to the pick up window) Man, you guys are already dissing this place and you haven't even tried its food yet!

Tahu: It's called "Fat Kitty's." I don't need to try its food to know it's bad.

Nex: …man…you guys will be surprised…just give it a chance.

Tahu: All right, fine. Whatever. We'll give it a shot. Just so long as-

*WAUGH!!*

Tahu: …what in the world…? (climbs up on the driver's side seat and looks through the window into the restaurant)

Giant Mutant Shrimp: (charges a restaurant employee wielding a spoon and a chopping knife) RAWR!!

Tahu: …

Nex: What is it?

Tahu: We're leaving. Now.

Nex: What?! But I thought you said you would-

Tahu: No. We're going to Burger King. Now.

Nex: But you promised! You said you would at least try-

Tahu: THERE IS A GIANT MUTANT SHRIMP EATING THE EMPLOYEES IN THERE! GIANT MUTANT SHRIMP VOID ALL PROMISES IMMEDIATELY!

Nex: …

Samus: …

Nex: …I was kind of hoping you wouldn't notice Benny…

Tahu: …it has a name?

Nex: …

Tahu: …YOU WERE GOING TO GIVE ME FOOD FROM A RESTAURANT THAT YOU KNEW WAS HOUSING GIGANTIC MUTATED SEAFOOD?!?

Nex: …uh…

Samus: …

Nex: …hey Burger King! Let's go there! (hits the gas and the car lurches forward)

Tahu: …

Nex: ...

Samus: …I feel like now is probably not a great time to bring up the fact that Burger King was caught using horse meat in its burgers, but I'm going to do so anyway.

 

Meanwhile, in the basement…

Vezok: (walks out into a large open space)…whoa…

Hakann: …where…are we?

Zaktan: …I have no idea, but I get the feeling that-

Thok: Whoa! Check it out!

Avak: …what?

Thok: Look! It's a giant treasure chest!

Avak: …

Thok: That must be where the ultimate power is stored! (takes off sprinting for the treasure chest)

Zaktan: Thok! Wait! It could be-

Thok: Ha ha ha ha! The ultimate treasure is mine now, suckers! (reaches the treasure chest and grabs it)

Floor: (collapses from underneath Thok and sends him falling into a pit of lava)

Zaktan: Thok!

*Sploosh*

Zaktan: …

Hakann: …

Reidak: …er…well…that sucks.

Zaktan: Forget it. We're done here. I'm not losing any more of you morons to some other death trap. (turns around and starts walking towards the entrance)

Gate: (shuts, locking the Piraka inside)

Zaktan: …oh, great. Now wha-

Pile of Plastic Pieces: (begins to stir in the middle of the room)

Hakann: (pulls out his lava launcher and aims it at the swirling pile of pieces)

Bionicle Pieces: (swirl together and form a large monster thing, wielding a large chainsaw) RAWR!!!

Vezok: Hmm.

Bionicle Monster Thing: Who dares enter the lair of the indomitable Vhorn?

Avak: …it's name is Vhorn?

Vezok: Someone must've hit writer's block when they came to this guy.

Vhorn: Speak now! Or I will crush you all!

Zaktan: You're going to try and kill us regardless of whether we tell you who we are or not, so why should we bother?

Vhorn: …er…well…I'll kill you less horribly if you tell me who you are…maybe…

Zaktan: I've got a better idea. (flips his triple-pronged sword around and points it at Vhorn) You go back into whatever plastic tub of Lego parts that you came from, and we won't tear you to shreds for killing our friend. Deal?

Avak: …speak for yourself when you call Thok a friend.

Zaktan: Shut up.

Vhorn: Ha! Puny Bionicles think they can beat Vhorn! But Vhorn is unbreakable! ROOOAAARRR!!

 

To be continued…

 

-MT

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JL just made me think about all the wrong things to think about with Bionicle. For shame....

 

...no comment.

 

 

I'll call Thok as being still alive to some capacity.

 

Yeah, Flying Squirrels don't die (oh wait, that's from Gavroche's oneshot).

 

 

Thok: Look! It's a giant treasure chest!

 

And to think I thought that Fi would be in there :P.

 

 

Speaker Voice: *click* Hello! Welcome to Fat Kitty's Chinese Extravaganza!

 

Yuck. I'm with Tahu, I'd rather go to Burger King than...whatever this^ is.

 

Good chappy.

 

~LTT~

The long awaited third season of TA:OT is finally here!!

 

 

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ALRIGHT, time to make my grand arrival in this topic. Meant to post when the first chapter was up, but it slipped my mind and I've been preoccupied since.

 

Chapter 1 - Loved it. Not sure if I said this in Aftermath 2, but the premise of the group of survivors moving to a new location is quite interesting.The Piraka are very entertaining individuals; I was cracking up at the "traps of destiny" segment. XD

 

Chapter 2 - The sequence regarding the Piraka was, once again, hilarious. Also, ono. A large Hero Factory set. That could be interesting.

 

Chapter 3 - ...What in the world? Fat Kitty's Chinese Extravaganza... really? Also, wow at Thok dying abruptly. Like we need anymore character deaths; the cast is small enough as it is. :P

 

Good chapter though.

 

-Mesonak

Edited by Mesonak

The Three Virtues YouTube Channel

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:( No one likes Fat Kitty's Chinese Extravaganza.

 

JL just made me think about all the wrong things to think about with Bionicle. For shame....

WHY MUST YOU RUIN EVERY ORIGINAL CHARACTER NAME I COME UP WITH?

 

And I'm not sure lava goes "sploosh"

Curses. I've been found out.

 

Anyways...

 

SSSSPPPPRRRRIIIINNNNGGGGG BBBBRRRREEEAAAAAKKKKKK!

 

I'll be a lot more active here in the next few days. And, for that matter, probably for the next few months until final exams. I can write a lot more when I don't have 5 tests/quizzes to take and 4 papers to turn in within the span of 10 school days.

 

I'll also probably start organizing the Comedy Expo for this Spring...so be ready to party.

 

-MT

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Meh, I'm kinda burned out on the AC series. They've been getting progressively worse over the past 3 or so years IMO, a trend that's the case with pretty much every series that releases games on an annual basis. A year just isn't long enough to make a game that feels fresh and isn't horribly ridden with glitches.

Except for the case of Majora's Mask, where I have no clue how it turned out as well as it did.

Chapter 4: New Friends

At the Mansion…

Xplode: …man…it's been quite a while since I've been swimming. (dips his toe in the pool)

Pridak: Ya ya.

Xplode: …I wonder where Tahu and the others went? They've been gone for a while…

Pridak: Ya ya ya.

Xplode: …why do you keep talking in "ya ya"s?

Pridak: Ya ya.

Xplode: …(turns around and notices Pridak receiving a massage from Mario)…ah.

Pridak: Ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya…

Xplode: …how exactly did you manage to get him to that again?

Pridak: Ya ya ya ya-

Xplode: (shoves Mario away)

Pridak: -hey!

Xplode: Answer my question.

Pridak: …I borrowed a zamor sphere launcher from the Piraka.

Xplode: Borrowed?

Pridak: Yeah. Well…I thought they were all dead…so I didn't really think they would need it…

Xplode: …

Mario: …

Xplode: …man…this is just cruel.

Pridak: What?

Xplode: Making him do everything for you. It's an insult to human rights. And Nintendo.

Pridak: Well…he's not really so much of a human…he's more like a really bouncy Italian/plumber crossbreed.

Xplode: …wait…what?

Pridak: Ya.

Xplode: …

Pridak: Back to massaging. (snaps his fingers)

Mario: (walks back and continues the massage)

Xplode: That's it. Where are one of those Inika spheres? This is too stupid to continue.

Pridak: Good luck getting one of those without any Inik-ya ya ya ya ya…

Xplode: …hmm…right. No Inika around…where to get an Inika sphere from…?

Meanwhile, in the basement…

Vhorn: Raaagghhh!! (slams his fist into the ground)

Reidak: (gets hit and flies into a wall) *WHAM!*

Zaktan: This is just nuts. (slashes at the giant Bionicles monster with his sword thingy)

Vhorn: No! Vhorn is unbreakable! (begins beating the ground, causing lava geysers to start shooting out from the ground)

Vezok: …oh frick.

Zaktan: Scatter! He's got some sort of…lava…power…and stuff…

Hakann: Oh frick oh frick oh frick oh frick-

Vhorn: Ha! You will burn! Burn! BBBBuuuurrrrnnnn!!!

Avak: Man, if only we had someone with ice power to save us…oh, that's right, we DID…and then he died…

Vhorn: (knocks Zaktan over)

Zaktan: Augh!

Vhorn: Rargh! Burn! You will burn! (raises his hammer up)

Zaktan: Oh frick! (raises his arm instinctually and accidentally pushes a trigger)

*FWOMP!*

Zaktan: …

Vhorn: …

Zaktan: …

Vhorn: …

Hakann: …what happened?

Vezok: …

Vhorn: …Vhorn will…serve green man…yes…I will serve the green man.

Zaktan: …(looks at his Zamor Sphere launcher) Oh, right. I forgot I had this.

Vezok: Hmm. Apparently, a side effect of Antidermis is improved grammar skills.

Avak: Well, cool. We've got a giant thing working for us.

Vezok: Kind of a sorry replacement for Thok.

Hakann: I dunno. He smells a bit better. A bit prettier as well.

Zaktan: Like you're a beauty pageant contestant either.

Hakann: I am indeed. Took second place in the most beautiful plastic thing of the year awards back in 2006.

Avak: …I'm kind of afraid to ask who got first.

Vhorn: …

Zaktan: So…back on the topic of getting out of here…Mr. Robot, do you think you can break open that gate that shut behind us?

Vhorn: …no.

Zaktan: …no?

Vhorn: That gate is made out of broken dreams. It can never be opened.

Reidak: Broken dreams?

Zaktan: Who's broken dreams?

Vhorn: The broken dreams of people who keep thinking that there will be a good Twilight movie eventually. Their shattered dreams are taken and formed into the barricades blocking outsiders from escaping this place.

Zaktan: …that's really silly.

Hakann: I dunno. Sounds legit to me.

Vhorn: I can, however, knock down the gate in front of you…it will allow you to keep going forward.

Zaktan: Oh, great. More of us can fall into lava and die. I vote no on that.

Avak: Hang on. What if this ultimate power can resurrect Thok?

Zaktan: …

Avak: …then it would be worth getting, regardless of how many of us die.

Vhorn: The ultimate power is indeed powerful…

Zaktan: …I would certainly hope so.

Hakann: And, maybe…just maybe…it'll let us revive some other people as well.

Zaktan: …other people? You mean…like the people from the House?

Hakann: Yep. We could be heroes.

Zaktan: …

Reidak: …and we could even resurrect old buddies! Like Carapar! And-

Zaktan: (turns around) Nope. Not interested.

Hakann: …

Reidak: …

Hakann: …why in the world would you bring up Carapar as the first person you could resurrect?

Reidak: …because…I miss his hugs…

Vezok: Look. Either we stay in this room and sit here forever, or we move forward. We can't go back at this point.

Zaktan: …

Vhorn: Your friend does have a point…it would be wise to at least continue onward.

Zaktan: Fine. Whatever. We'll go for it. (turns around and heads back for the exit)

Vhorn: Excellent. Onward it is then!

Meanwhile, at the Burger King Drive Thru…

Employee: (hands a bag into the car) Here's your order sir.

Nex: Thank you.

Tahu: Well, at least we're not eating mutated seafood now.

Nex: You guys are just so paranoid. At least give it a chance before you diss it.

Tahu: No restaurant that calls itself "Fat Kitty's" needs a chance before I make up my mind about it. (reaches into the bag to pull out some food) And-

*OW!*

Tahu: …

Samus: …

Nex: …

Tahu: …what the heck was that?

Samus: It sounded like it came from that bag.

Nex: And you complain about my food being weird.

Tahu: It's not supposed to yell. (turns the bag upside down and dumps the contents out)

French Fries and a Katana Wielding Toa: (fall out of the bag)

*WHUMP!*

Tahu: …

Samus: …

Toa: …oof.

Nex: I don't understand how this is any better than some slightly undercooked shrimp.

Samus: I officially give up on eating here. Ever.

Toa: (picks himself up off the floor) Hoo. Tough day.

Tahu: …and what are you supposed to be? A Happy Meal Toy?

Toa: Me? No, no. No happy meal here. Name's Sam. Sam-I-am.

Tahu: …your name is Sam-I-Am?

Toa: No, no. Sam, I am. As in, Sam, I happen to be.

Tahu: …

Sam: But enough about me..

Tahu: No! Not enough about you! Where's my food! Why are you in my bag?!

Sam: Oh, uh…I might have eaten it.

Tahu: …

Sam: Sorry. I got hungry. But I'll make it up to you, I promise!

Nex: How did you manage to get into a Burger King bag in the first place?

Tahu: No, no, don't ask that. I don't want to know. Let's just…go home…maybe Nocturn and Gadunka won't have ravaged everything from the fridge yet.

Sam: Ooh, home? Sweet. I can't wait to go home.

Tahu: …who said we were letting you come with us?

Sam: …aw, you can't ditch me like this. I'll be a great asset to your cause!

Samus: You have a cause?

Tahu: …I started one of those kickstart pages to try and raise money so I could open my own car wash…but it didn't work out.

Sam: It's settled, then! I'll help you open your own car wash.

Tahu: …right. That'll be the day.

Sam: …you don't believe in me, do ya?

Tahu: Let me put it this way…No.

Sam: Hmm. Very well then. I'll have to earn your trust. (hops out of the car)

Nex: …where are you going?

Sam: To pay him back for his food and earn his trust. He helped get me out of that terrible excuse for a restaurant(gestures to the Burger King), so the least I can do is help him out.

Tahu: …

Sam: Right then…talk to you soon. (walks off down the street)

Nex: …

Tahu: …this has been the absolute weirdest day of my life.

Samus: Hey, it could be worse. You could have gotten one of those mutated shrimp in your bag.

To be continued…

-MT

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Samus: Hey, it could be worse. You could have gotten one of those mutated shrimp in your bag.

 

Truth.

 

Alright, 'bout time I came here and commented. The show must go on, it would seem, and it has gone on for four chapters. Exciting to see the events that are now transpiring. Or, rather, comedic to see. After all, this is the spinoff that brings back the comedic characters.

 

The plot thickens; let's see where it goes. Onwards to victory!

 

-Toa Levacius Zehvor :flagusa:

"I disapprove of what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."


- Evelyn Beatrice Hall (often attributed to Voltaire)

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A WILD LEV APPEARED.

Yes we will go quickly to victory.

Chapter 5: Quickest Toa Around

At the mansion…

Xplode: (walks through the halls of the mansion) …hmm…energized protodermis…energized protodermis…where would one find-

*CRASH!*

Xplode: …

Voice: Oops.

Xplode: …what was that? Hello?

(silence)

Xplode: (moves through the hallway) …is anyone there? Hello?

(silence)

Xplode: …Nocturn? Was that you? Do you need help?

(silence)

Xplode: (moves through a doorway) …who's ther-

Plasma Beam: (fires out of nowhere towards Xplode's head)

Xplode: (backflips out of the way and lands with his fire sphere launcher aimed at the direction of the plasma beam)

Robot Wolf Thingy: …arf.

Xplode: ….and who might you be?

Robot Wolf Thingy: I am Villain Factory Unit B457.

Xplode: You look like some silly robotic dog to me to me.

Robot Wolf Thingy: If my unit number is too complex for you to remember, then call me Cyberwolf.

Xplode: …cyber wolf? Sounds like a bad PBS show.

Knife: (goes flying past Xplode's face and land in the wall a few feet away)

Xplode: …not big on jokes, huh?

Cyberwolf: I have been programmed to track down and recover the ultimate power from this place. You will not interfere. (uses a chainsaw blade attached to his tail to begin drilling through the floor)

Xplode: …uh…that's kind of our floor.

Cyberwolf: …

Xplode: …we kind of care about it.

Cyberwolf: …

Xplode: (steps towards the wolf) If you want, we can-

Daggers: (go flying past Xplode's head again)

Xplode: …

Cyberwolf: Leave now. You are becoming a hindrance to my mission.

Xplode: …you know what? I think I like being a hindrance. Particularly when I'm hindering people drilling holes in my floor.

Cyberwolf: …

Xplode: Now get out of my house, or there'll be some consequences.

Cyberwolf: …attack program initiated.

Xplode: You bet it is.

Meanwhile, in the basement…

Piraka: (walk into a room)

Vezok: …what's this place?

Zaktan: …"Trial of First Grade Addition."

Hakann: Oh boy. That sounds hard.

Avak: What is this place?

Vhorn: The creators of this place installed several trials to ensure that the ones who might wield the ultimate power would be fit to wield it. This is one of those trials.

Zaktan: …how does knowing first grade addition in any way cut out anyone who would be unworthy?

Vhorn: …well…it appears to be doing a pretty good job of that with your group.

Reidak: Five plus five is 70, right?

Zaktan: …right. (walks forward into the center of the room)

Voice: Halt.

Zaktan: …

Voice: …if you would continue…you must answer these first grade math questions.

Zaktan: Very well.

Voice: What is…1+1?

Reidak: Seven.

Zaktan: Two.

Voice: …seventy two?

Zaktan: NO! I said two!

Reidak: Seven.

Voice: Two Seven? Twenty Seven?

Reidak: Yes.

Zaktan: No! (punches Reidak)

*WHAP!*

Reidak: Ow!

Voice: Ow?

Zaktan: NO! The answer is 2! T-W-O!

Voice: …is that your final answer?

Zaktan: Yes! Two!

Voice: You are correct!

Zaktan: …finally. Now, can we please get on with-

Voice: NEXT QUESTION!

Zaktan: …guess not.

Voice: What is 3+3?

Zaktan: Six. This is easy.

Voice: Correct!

Zaktan: Why do I have to waste my time with this?

Voice: Next question: What is one plus two plus two to the fourth power times 23 divided by 11 to the fourth plus fifty three to the 858th power minus the arctan of three hundred forty three times twenty three divided by five thousand two hundred fifty four plus five thousand seven hundred fifty divided by five hundred fifty four to the forty fifth power plus five thousand four hundred eighty seven minus four hundred fifty four?

Zaktan: …

Hakann: …that's a lot of fours.

Reidak: And fifties.

Zaktan: ….

Voice: You have fifteen seconds to decide. Good luck.

Zaktan: WHAT KIND OF FIRST GRADE ADDITION IS THAT?!?

Voice: Why, the kind taught in schools in the majority of Asia and parts of Australia.

Zaktan: …

Voice: Better get calculating, you lazy Americans. You've got ten seconds left.

Zaktan: Oh…for the love of biscuit…

Vezok: Ok…well…we can do this…um…one plus two is three…so that's three…plus two…is five…to the fourth power is…

Avak: Order of operations, you moron.

Vezok: What?

Avak: Order of operations. You have to do exponents first, then multiplication and division, then-

Voice: Five seconds left.

Zaktan: Uh…um…uh….

Voice: Four…

Hakann: Just say an answer! Any answer!

Voice: Three..

Zaktan: ..uh…um…

Voice: Two…

Zaktan: Seven hundred fifty two!

Voice: …

Zaktan: 752. That's the answer.

Voice: …that is correct. You have passed the challenge.

Vezok: …wow. That's right? Dang, you've got some incredible guessing skills.

Voice: Lol no. You actually thought you got that right? I was messing around with you.

Vezok: …wait wha-

Voice: Into the bottomless pit with you.

Floor: (opens up beneath the Piraka, sending them and Vhorn tumbling down below)

Reidak: Ccccuuurrrsseeee yooooouuuu mmmmaattttthhhhh!!!

Meanwhile, outside the mansion…

Tahu: (gets out of the car) Well that was a complete disaster.

Nex: Sorry.

Tahu: Maybe next time we can go eat somewhere that actually serves food and not mutated shrimp or deranged Toa.

Nex: I said I was sorry.

Tahu: The only thing that could make it even worse is if the deranged Toa somehow managed to show up right at my-

Sam: Hey there.

Tahu: …front…door…

Samus: …

Tahu: …how the heck did you get here?

Sam: I walked.

Tahu: …we drove here. There's no way you could have out walked a freaking car.

Sam: All the same, I got here by walking.

Samus: …

Tahu: All right, whatever. What are you doing here?

Sam: Why, I got you that car wash you wanted.

Tahu: …

Samus: …

Nex: …how?

Sam: Pulled a few strings here and there. No worries. I said I'd do it.

Tahu: So, let me get this straight. In the time it took us to drive back here, you found a piece of land that was being sold, opened a car wash on it in my name, found out where our house was, and walked here?

Sam: Well, technically it's still in my name, but the documents for ownership transfer are on the table inside.

Tahu: …

Samus: …

Nex: …

Tahu: …I like this guy.

Sam: Why, thank you.

Tahu: Let's go check out this car wash place.

Nex: So much for supper anytime soon.

Sam: Aw, don't worry about that. I installed a Chick-Fil-A inside the car wash as well.

Nex: …wait…what…how…HUH?

Sam: Quickest Toa in town, mate!

Nex: …man…this is ridiculous.

To be continued…

-MT

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Oh hey. Comedies is still a forum. Whoʻda thought? Anyway, I do quite like this newest addition in the saga of TBTTRAH. Itʻs always nice to see you step back from epicomedy-ing and try to once again capture the spirit of the original like twenty chapters of TBTTRAH. And by the way, the mansion being on top of a volcano wouldnʻt be a problem. Unless the volcano is Kilauea. Or Mauna Kea, but thatʻs for different reasons. (Hint: Itʻs freezing on Mauna Kea)

Progenitus Worldsoul

Marquis of making RPG profiles, but never actually posting.

"Strength through honor. Virtue through flames."

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MT USED POST NEW CHAPTER!

 

IT'S NOT VERY EFFECTIVE!

 

LEV USED REMEMBER TO RESPOND TO THE NEW CHAPTER HALF A WEEK LATER!

 

IT'S SUPER-EFFECTIVE!

 

Oh hey. Comedies is still a forum. Whoʻda thought?

 

I have known this as a feeling.

 

So a new chapter, and we are introduced to our new enemy - pointless algebraic math problems. A bunch of characters without a single straight man among them battling against order of operations? Yes, that does well in describing what I watch in my Algebra II class every day. It's good to link to real life. :P

 

Sam appears to have some sort of ability to fulfill the dreams of everyone around him. Maybe he's that golden skinned being from the canon? I dunno.

 

Anyways, it was another enjoyable chapter that I probably should have got around to commenting on sooner. KUTGW. Gosh, I can't remember using that acronym since time immemorial...

-Toa Levacius Zehvor :flagusa:

"I disapprove of what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."


- Evelyn Beatrice Hall (often attributed to Voltaire)

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I'M SORRY THIS CHAPTER TOOK FOREVER.

Kinda sorta notreally.

Ok maybe a little.

Anyways welcome back both Gorgnak and Lev. Been quite a while.

And stuff.

Also Algebra 2 sucked.

EDIT: Somehow, my name got reverted back to TZMT. Hmm.

(I blame you Meta)

Chapter 6: Mansion Shenanigans

In the mansion's basement…

Vezok: …oof.

Hakann: …that hurt.

Avak: Where are we? And where'd that silly robot thing go?

Reidak: Who cares? Let's just get the heck out of here.

Zaktan: (stands up and walks forward into a tiny hallway)

Vezok: Oh. Great. More cramped spaces. Man, I haven't missed these at all.

Hakann: Claustrophobic, are we?

Vezok: It's not that, it's just that these types of places are usually riddled with traps.

Hakann: …I would argue against that sentence, but I'm afraid I'd get hit by a trap as soon as I did.

Voice: WELCOME!

Zaktan: …

Reidak: …

Avak: …funny…that didn't make me feel very welcome…kinda scared me though.

Voice: WELCOME TO THE TRIAL OF THE THREE QUESTIONS!

Vezok: …what happens in this "trial?"

Voice: YOU MUST ANSWER THREE QUESTIONS TO PASS!

Avak: …well…it has the least misleading name ever.

Voice: IF YOU ANSWER ANY OF THE QUESTIONS WRONG, HOWEVER…YOU WILL FACE THE ETERNAL WRATH OF THIS PLACE.

Hakann: Sounds simple enough. Zaktan, you're smart. You go for it.

Zaktan: No way. I've watched enough Monty Python to know how this turns out.

Avak: I'll do it. After all, how much eternal wrath can an evil voice have?

Hakann: Less than you'd think and more than you'd hope.

Voice: AH! A CHALLENGER HAS APPEARED!

Avak: …

Voice: IF YOU WISH TO OBTAIN THE ULTIMATE POWER…YOU MUST ANSWER THESE THREE QUESTIONS…

Avak: …yeah…

Voice: WHO HAS BEEN THE MOST INFLUENTIAL PERSON IN YOUR LIFE THESE PAST FOUR YEARS? WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR FAVORITE HIGH SCHOOL MEMORIES? AND WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU WILL BE IN TEN YEARS?

Avak: …me, never went to high school, probably in a nursing home for plastic toys.

Voice: …

Avak: …

Voice: …

Zaktan: …

Hakann: …

Vezok: …so…er…uh…is that it?

Voice: Hmm? Oh, yeah, you can go now. We're just compiling a yearbook of everyone who comes through here and survives. That way, ten years from now, we can have an epic reunion where we can all laugh and share memories!

Zaktan: …no.

Voice: What? Oh, come on! It'll be great! And then you can-

Zaktan: No no no no no no no no no! I HATE REUNIONS! (charges out of the hall towards the next room)

Voice: …man….nuts.

Meanwhile, down the road…

Tahu: …this…this is amazing!

Sam: You like it?

Tahu: How did you manage to get this built so quickly?

Sam: Why, I'm Sam, of course!

Tahu: …

Sam: …

Tahu: …that's not an explanation.

Sam: Yes it is.

Tahu: …

Sam: …

Tahu: …right. Whatever.

Nex: …well…now what?

Tahu: We'll have to get some employees first. Guess we can put up some hiring signs.

Samus: Yeah…we can…do we have money to hire them with, though?

Tahu: …good point. We'll need some money.

Sam: …

Tahu: …Sam…could you possibly get some money for us?

Sam: Money? Oh, uh…I guess…how would I do that?

Tahu: …by robbing a bank or something? I dunno.

Sam: I'm afraid that's not possible.

Tahu: …what?

Sam: In exchange for my incredible power of unrealistically bending the laws of physics, I had to agree to never engage in any moral wrongdoing.

Tahu: …you didn't seem to have a problem with stealing my food from earlier.

Sam: …er…well…hmm.

Tahu: …

Sam: That was a mulligan.

Tahu: *sigh* Fine. Looks like we're going to have to get some money ourselves.

Samus: What are we going to do?

Tahu: What else do we do when we're poor? We're going to rob a bank!

Meanwhile, at the house…

Pridak: …hmm…

Evo: What's up?

Pridak: Oh, nothing…just wondering about Xplode.

Evo: Xplode?

Pridak: Yeah. The weird, sarcastic Hero Factory thing. Smells really bad.

Evo: …that could very well be applied to almost all of you.

Pridak: Looks like a fire ant.

Evo: OH. That one.

Pridak: Yeah. He said he was going to go find a way to get energized protodermis…he's been gone for a while though. I'm starting to get worried.

Evo: You're worried about him?

Pridak: Xplode? Pfft. Heck no. I'm just worried that he might succeed.

Evo: …

Pridak: …well…ok, maybe a little worried. But not much.

Evo: Ah. Well, I can help you look for him if you want.

Pridak: Really?

Evo: Yeah.

Pridak: Sweet. Let's go! (gets out of the pool)

Mario: Momma mia?

Pridak: Momma no-a.

Mario: …awww…(sits down)

Evo: …

Pridak: (dries off) …all right. Let's get started.

Evo: Wherever he is, I'm sure he's fine.

Pridak: …meh…I guess…how much trouble could he have gotten into?

Meanwhile, fighting off a drooling, razor toothed robot dog…

Xplode: …this is the worst day of my live.

-MT

Edited by Toa Zehvor MT

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I'M SORRY THIS REVIEW TOOK FOREVER.

 

Kinda sorta notreally.

 

Ok maybe a little.

 

(but unlike your delays they're actually expected)

 

Chapter 4: Hilarious as usual. The introduction of Sam was great, as was this exchange:

 

 

Vhorn: That gate is made out of broken dreams. It can never be opened.

Reidak: Broken dreams?

Zaktan: Who's broken dreams?

Vhorn: The broken dreams of people who keep thinking that there will be a good Twilight movie eventually. Their shattered dreams are taken and formed into the barricades blocking outsiders from escaping this place.

Zaktan: …that's really silly.

Hakann: I dunno. Sounds legit to me.

Too good. :P

Chapter 5: Cyberwolf. Really? Should be inteersting. Nice mention of the "Villain Factory." If you're not aware, that may be an actual thing that exists in the HF story soon. :P The entire "Trails of Addition" sequence was just HILARIOUS. I cracked up so much at everything in that exchange. Great chapter.

Chapter 6: ...Aaaaaand the Piraka's trials and tribulations continue. Comedy gold. Sam and Tahu's segment was also great. Really enjoying the fresh feeling of this comedy, though I do really miss the guest stars and want you to bring them back immediately.

...J/K not really. They're all great characters but is beyond nice to see a comedy from you where the story doesn't revolve around guest stars.

Great work.

-Mesonak

The Three Virtues YouTube Channel

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Check it out for laughs, discussion, and more.

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Chapter 6: ...Aaaaaand the Piraka's trials and tribulations continue. Comedy gold. Sam and Tahu's segment was also great. Really enjoying the fresh feeling of this comedy, though I do really miss the guest stars and want you to bring them back immediately.

NEXT CHAPTER: THE ZEHVOR OVERTHROW THE THE RUSSIAN GOVERNMENT.

 

In all seriousness, A3 (the next part dealing with the guest stars) is moving along quite nicely. I've got a basic premises worked out, as well as how the GSs will participate.

 

I do have one thing to reveal, which is one of the villains for Aftermath 3. Meet the Omega Shadow.

 

042rwud923bihdgrtla8.png

 

Or, at least, an inspiration picture of what the MoC will look like when I actually make it. :P

 

The Shadow are a race of seemingly mindless Toa-like beings that roam the landscape of the Planet Argnok, believed to be the most frequent cause of sailer death. While not intelligent and incapable of speaking, Shadow are incredibly strong and powerful, forcing even the strongest of warriors to be careful in confrontation. Shadow are frequently captured and thrown into the arena by villages to test their strongest warriors.

 

The Omega Shadow, as it has been labeled as, is a rather mysterious Shadow that has recently appeared. Wielding a zweihänder, it has only appeared recently, although rumors of its existence date back as far as history goes. The Omega Shadow is a stronger, faster, and more combat capable than its lesser counterparts, but it does not appear to exhibit any extra intelligence. Its motives are unclear, but it appears to be searching for something. Unlike other Shadow, it will not attack unless provoked, and has gone out of its way to avoid contact with Toa at times. The few Toa that have attempted to engage it in combat, however, have all ended up as casualties of its large blade.

 

-MT

Edited by Toa Zehvor MT

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Chapter 7: Back to What We Know Best

In the basement…

Zaktan: (walks out into a wide open area)…wow…

Avak: How far down into this basement are we?

Hakann: Maybe we went all the way through the Earth…and this is in China now.

Reidak: China's exceptionally musty in that case.

Vezok: …hey…what's that?

Zaktan: What's what?

Vezok: That thing. Over there. (walks towards a metal cage surrounding a mask)

Hakann: (follows Vezok and notices an inscription on the side of the cage) …"the mask of ultimate power."

Zaktan: Oh! This is it! We found it! Awesome!

Vezok: (tries to rip open the metal grating) Yeah, well…don't get too excited. This cage is pretty tough.

Avak: Of course it's tough. You're not supposed to rip it open. Look at this. (gestures to a panel stuck on the wall a few feet away)

Zaktan: "Enter the key code of destiny to gain the ultimate power."

Hakann: …the "key code of destiny?"

Avak: Yeah.

Zaktan: …what four digit combination implies "destiny?"

Reidak: Ooh! I know! (rushes over to the keypad and punches in a few numbers)

*Loud Buzzer Sound*

Reidak: …well, I guess "1-2-3-4" isn't the key code of destiny.

Zaktan: So we've really just gotta sit here and punch in numbers until we get it right?

Avak: So it would seem.

Zaktan: …*sigh* Fine. Avak, you and Reidak start going through the list of all possible combinations. The rest of us will…take a nap or something…I dunno.

Hakann: Zzzzz…

Zaktan: …or the rest of us may already be taking a nap.

Meanwhile, by a bank…

Tahu: Well, here we are.

Nex: Something about this just seems wrong.

Tahu: Hey, we need money.

Nex: …

Tahu: Don't worry. We'll be in and out. We've done this dozens of times.

Samus: …well…you have. I've never done it.

Tahu: …ok, one of us has done this dozens of times. We'll be fine.

Nex: …very well…let's give it a shot.

Samus: K. (pulls the car into the automatic bank teller line and stops by an ATM)

Tahu: …uh…Samus? What are you-

Samus: (pulls out a credit card, sticks it in the machine, enters a few buttons, and pulls out several thousand dollars from the ATM)

Tahu: …

Nex: …

Samus: Here you go. (tosses the money to Tahu)

Tahu: …

Nex: …

Samus: …what?

Nex: …I thought you guys were going inside to rob the bank. Not…just stealing someone's credit card.

Samus: What? Oh, heck no. Why would we ever do that? Only a fool would put themselves at that much of a risk when there's such an easier alternative. (sticks the credit card back into the drink holder)

Tahu: ….a fool….huh?

Samus: Well, let's get going. We've got a car wash to start!

Meanwhile, at the mansion…

Xplode: Get off of me!

Cyberwolf: I have been programmed to eat you. You will be lunch.

Xplode: I taste terrible!

Cyberwolf: I have no sense of taste.

Xplode: …I cause nausea!

Cyberwolf: I have no stomach.

Xplode: …I'm poisonous! You might die!

Cyberwolf: I am immune to poison. Your pitiful attempts at scaring me off are ineffectual.

Xplode: …gosh dang it I want to be a robot.

Cyberwolf: You will be terminated. Prepare to die…(pushes Xplode's arm out of the way in an attempt to bite him)

Xplode: …no….noooo…nnoooooooo….

Voice: I'LL SAVE YOU!

Cyberwolf: What the-

White Flash: (runs out of nowhere and tackles the wolf)

*WHUMP!*

Cyberwolf: (goes rolling across the floor and crashes into a table leg)

Flowerpot: (begins to wobble on the table top)

*BAM!*

Xplode: …huh?

Pridak: NO ONE HURTS XPLODE BUT ME! (poses epically)

Xplode: …

Cyberwolf: (pushes itself to its feet) …foolish decision, intruder. (activates the chainsaw blade attached to his tail) I will eliminate you with precision and speed…and you will feel the-

Flowerpot: (wobbles and falls off the table)

*CRASH!!*

Pridak: …

Cyberwolf: …ooogh…mission…failed…

Pridak: …

Xplode: …

Evo: …

Pridak: …VICTORIA DE PRIDAK!! (poses once again)

Evo: …

Xplode: …what in the world?

Meanwhile, in the basement…

Hero Factory Set: (rips the lid off several more canisters)

HF Set 2: (emerges from his canister) …wha…what are you doing?

HF Set: A group of intruders has made it to the last challenge! Hurry!

HF Set 3: …what? Why weren't we alerted!

HF Set: (gestures to several punched in canisters) …they are apparently vandals as well…and broke the sensor system.

HF Set 3: …hmph.

HF Set 2: Let's go then. We can't let them reach the ultimate power!

-MT

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They'll get all the lead from China and use it to poison their enemies.

Chapter 8: A New Enemy

In the basement somewhere...

Zaktan: Any luck?

Avak: Nope.

Zaktan: Hmm. Well, keep trying.

Hakann: This is the silliest thing ever. We had to have left some kind of clue back there or something.

Zaktan: You wanna go back and search? Be my guest. But don't come crying to me when some magical trap door opens under your feet and you get dropped into a pit of lava…assuming you could cry after that happened.

Hakann: …on second thought, I didn't really have much to do today anyw-

*WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA!*

Hakann: …? (looks behind him and notices several HF sets phasing into existence)

Vezok: Wow. These guys look hi-tech. Maybe they're from the future?

Avak: Only if the future has teleportation devices that sound like bad dub step when they're used.

Zaktan: (walks forward) ….and who might you be?

HF Set: We are the wielders of the ultimate power. The defenders of…the BRAIN FACTORY.

Zaktan: …

HF Set 2: Er, um…no…that's not really it. We're actually the victims of Brain Factory.

HF Set 3: …well…we can defend it and be victims too, can't we?

HF Set 2: …I suppose. But he made it sound like we were doing this of our free will.

HF Set 1: Well, I am, anyway. I'd defend it regardless of whether I had this thing on my head or not.

HF Set 2: Speak for yourself, then. I merely serve this silly cause because I'm forced t-

Zaktan: *AHEM*

HF Sets: …

Zaktan: …if you're finished debating the merits of your apparent slavery…might we get some information on who you actually are?

HF Set 1: Oh, right. My apologies. My name is Pyrox.

HF Set 2: I am Bruizer

HF Set 3: And I, Ogrum.

Zaktan: …and who's that guy? (points to a white armored Vorox looking thing huddled in a corner)

Ogrum: Him? Oh, that's Frost Beast. He doesn't talk too much, though.

Avak: …hmm.

Reidak: He looks kinda lonely.

Avak: Why don't you go and cheer him up, Reidak? I bet he's just your kind of person.

Reidak: …ok! (moves over to Frost Beast and begins trying to talk to him)

Vezok: So what are you guys doing here, anyway?

Bruizer: I could ask you the same question.

Vezok: But I asked first.

Bruizer: …fine. We are here because we are forced to be. (turns to Pyrox) …well…most of us are, anyways.

Zaktan: …"forced to be?"

Bruizer: Yeah. We were infected by these things called "Brains," and forced to guard this place.

Zaktan: …normally, one doesn't refer to having brains as being "infected."

Ogrum: No, you don't understand. These aren't normal types of brains. These are BRAINS!

Zaktan: …

Ogrum: …

Zaktan: …you're right. I don't understand. What's the difference?

Bruizer: The brains he's referring to are mind control devices. They're like slugs that crawl onto your head and bend your will to the almighty commander.

Zaktan: …so they're like really, really inefficient versions of Zamor Spheres.

Bruizer: I don't know what those are, so I can't comment, but I can say that-

*CHOMP!*

Reidak: OWWWW!!!

Bruizer: …

Zaktan: …

Reidak: He bit me!!

Frost Beast: …

Zaktan: …did he really take Avak's advice to go try and make friends with that thing?

Bruizer: Apparently, these "zamor spheres" you speak of are no aid in detecting sarcasm.

Zaktan: …right.

Bruizer: So anyways, we are placed here to protect the ultimate power and keep it from falling into unworthy hands.

Zaktan: Hmm. Well, that's a coincidence.

Bruizer: What is?

Zaktan: We're here to obtain this "ultimate power" as it were.

Bruizer: …

Zaktan: …

Vezok: …I get the feeling we probably shouldn't have told him that.

Bruizer: …you're right. You shouldn't have.

Vezok: …

Bruizer: …if you are searching for the ultimate power…then I am afraid our little discussion here is at an end.

Zaktan: …what's that supposed to mean?

Bruizer: (draws a sharp looking blade) It means that we cannot allow you to progress further. Turn around and head back the way you came, or deal with the consequences.

Avak: …that was a pretty cheesy threat.

Zaktan: We don't want to pick a fight with anyone…but-

Bruizer: Then leave.

Zaktan: …BUT…we don't intend on letting any two bit mind controlled punks get in our way, either. (points his three pronged blade at Bruizer) Back down.

Bruizer: …you will not obtain the ultimate power…while I live.

Zaktan: So be it.

Bruizer: …

Zaktan: …

Bruizer: …

Zaktan: …

Hakann: …this is really stupid. (launches a lava blast at Bruizer)

Bruizer: (dives out of the way and fires some sort of bizarre liquid at Hakann)

Hakann: Augh! (steps back to avoid it) …what was that?

Vezok: Heh. Better check yourself after this. Judging from how poorly their teeth look, you could very well be the first person to be attacked by a mutant form of gingivitis.

Hakann: …

Vezok: For the moment…we've got more important things to worry about. Like putting these losers in their place. (poses epically)

Hakann: All right then. (poses even more epically) LET'S ROCK!

Avak: …I'm going to pretend I don't even know you two.

Back upstairs, by the fridge…

Nocturn: …hmm.

Gadunka: Gadunka.

Nocturn: …

Gadunka: …

Nocturn: …well…only one way to get this thing off. (gestures towards a series of hundreds of padlocks placed on the fridge) Might as well get it over with.

Gadunka: (nods)

Nocturn: (starts gnawing on one of the locks) *nom nom nom*

Evo: (walks through the room) …

Nocturn: *nom nom*

Evo: …what in the world are you doing?

Nocturn: …me? Oh, nothing…no worry….

Evo: …

Gadunka: Gadunka.

Evo: …

Nocturn: …

Evo: …

Gadunka: …

Evo: …

Nocturn: …what you looking at?

Evo: The giant blue mouth and his amphibian friend attempting to eat a padlock. That's what.

Nocturn: …what? You never watch a fridge break in?

Evo: No.

Nocturn: …

Gadunka: ...

Nocturn: …you seriously need get out more.

Meanwhile, elsewhere…

Tahu: Whew. Finally, back at the mansion.

Samus: We're not going back to the car wash today?

Tahu: No need. I called Sam and told him we have the money. I'll put out a job advertisement in the morning, and after that I'll just get him to hire some people. We'll go from there.

Samus: …hmm.

Tahu: Won't be long before Bionicle Enterprises is back in business. Er, well…actually…in business for the first time…but…you know what I mean…

To be continued…

-MT

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Bionicle Enterprises... you know, it's too bad Vultraz retired already, because he could totally have bought it and made even more big bucks. Then again, it probably would have turned into some sort of commercial war when Tahu refused to sell the company, so maybe it's good Vultraz retired.

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Oh, look, this is still a thing....

 

But I kid. The Bionicles Try to Run a House and it's successors will never die. Even if they do die, we'll just make fansites about them and rewrite the entire saga into a new book where the characters have different names and stuff. Because awesome. Do it and make some money, MT.

 

Anyways, goods chapters and stuff during my absence. Nice adversary for Aftermath 3. It'll die like all other adversaries do. Over-the-top and/or comically.

 

-Toa Levacius Zehvor :flagusa:

"I disapprove of what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."


- Evelyn Beatrice Hall (often attributed to Voltaire)

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@iBrow: I get the feeling Vultaz would have run it into the ground.

@Sonyaxe: Thank you for the kind words! Glad you liked it.

@JL: I did it just for you. :P

@Tahmira: Thanks as well! Reidak was considered, but he's an essential part of the series, so the managers wouldn't let me kill him. I really wanted to, though.

@Levacius: Hmm. Fansites, you say? If you cover operating costs, I'll set one up. And, unlike the Bionicles, you have to obtain the money legitely.

We don't condone illegal actions. Usually.

@JL2: They go to the New York subway system, where they're forced to ride the subways and listen to people complain about their lives forever. It's an even worse fate.

To be honest, I never really considered that. Maybe they just disappear into the magical void? Or they respawn as a cow a la karma?

Chapter 9: Lost Piraka

In the mansion…

Xplode: …so…how's it going?

Evo: Not great. I'm having a hard time managing to fit some sort of intelligent computer system into this tiny robot wolf.

Pridak: …if they can fit the computer for an iPhone into a container the size of one of those cheesy cracker six pack bags, how hard can it be?

Evo: Hard. I think you want this thing to do more than just play music and make calls.

Xplode: Ah. Well…I wish there was some way we could help.

Pridak: …there may be, now that I think about it.

Evo: …I seriously doubt that.

Xplode: As do I.

Pridak: Not us. But Avak. He's an engineer. He's good with these sorts of things.

Evo: …

Xplode: …now that you mention it…I do seem to remember him working on something crazy back at the house.

Evo: Well, if you think he can figure this out, then by all means, bring him here. I'm not opposed to help.

Xplode: Right then. Let's go get him.

Pridak: …

Xplode: …what?

Pridak: Well…er…it's just that I have no real clue where he is.

Xplode: ….you don't know?

Pridak: No.

Xplode: Then we'll go find him. Come on.

Pridak: …

Xplode: …how far could he have gone? We just got here, after all…

Meanwhile, in the basement…

Zaktan: (dives out of the way of a large punch)

Ogrum: Come back here!

Zaktan: (regains his footing and slashes at Ogrum with his three pronged sword)

Ogrum: (leaps back and avoids the attack)

Bruizer: Your friends got beat up so easily! Why are you so much harder to hit?

Zaktan: Because, unlike those losers, (parries a blow from Pyrox) I actually make an effort to practice my fighting technique. (takes advantage of the opening and kicks Pyrox in the chest)

Pyrox: (goes flying backwards into a wall)

*WHAM!*

Pyrox: …owww…

Bruizer: (brings down a giant claw on Zaktan)

Zaktan: (blocks it with his sword and shoves Bruizer off)

Ogrum: (leaps in and tackles Zaktan)

*BAM!*

Zaktan: Oof!

Ogrum: Ha! Gotcha!

Zaktan: …oww…

Ogrum: (grabs Zaktan by the throat and lifts him into the air) …now…you too will become a servant of the-

*WHAP!*

Ogrum: …ow! Hey! What the-

Ice Blast: (flies out of nowhere and freezes Ogrum)

Ogrum: Erk!

Zaktan: (wrenches himself free and turns towards Bruizer)

Bruizer: …er…uh…hmm…

Zaktan: Playtime's over, suckah. (runs up to Bruizer and prepares a roundhouse kick)

Ice Bolt: (flies out of nowhere and freezes Bruizer)

Zaktan: (slams his foot into the frozen Bruizer) *WHAM!*

Bruizer: …

Zaktan: ……OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!! (drops to the ground and begins clutching his foot)

Voice: Looked like you needed some help there.

Zaktan: (looks up, and notices Thok, with red liquid dripping off of his armor) ….I was going to do something really cool! And you froze him! And now my foot really hurts!

Thok: (shrug) Sorry. I'll try and take into account your need to show off when I'm planning the next saving of your life.

Zaktan: …so what happened to you, anyway? I thought you got dropped into a pool of lava.

Thok: Turns out it was actually just spaghetti sauce.

Zaktan: …spaghetti sauce?

Thok: Yeah. It took forever to get out of, too. It's really sticky, and I couldn't swim up in it, so I had to eat the entire pool of it to get out.

Zaktan: …

Thok: I rushed over here as soon as I was done, though. Well…with a pepto bismol break in-between, but besides that I came here without stopping.

Zaktan: (picks himself up off the ground) …where in the world did you get stomach medicine?

Thok: Oh, I met some robot back there. He was too afraid to follow you guys, so he gave me this instead and some stupid key code.

Zaktan: …did you say…a key code?

Thok: Yeah. Why?

Zaktan: …did this key code happen to be four numbers, by the way?

Thok: How'd you know?

Zaktan: …I think, at this moment, I feel closer to you than ever before.

Thok: …um….thanks?

Meanwhile, back upstairs…

Tahu: Well. That was a long day.

Nex: Indeed. Guess I'll go try and find something to throw together for supper.

Samus: …assuming the fridge hasn't been vandalized while we were gone.

Tahu: …can't say I'm feeling particularly optimistic about our odds for getting supper tonight.

Xplode: (runs into the room) Tahu!

Tahu: Oh. Hey Xplode.

Xplode: Do you know where the Piraka are?

Tahu: …uh, no. We just got back. Why?

Pridak: They're missing, and we need them.

Tahu: …wait a second. Since when do either of you care what happens to the Piraka?

Xplode: …well…er, we don't really. We just need Avak to help us build a robot wolf.

Tahu: …a…robot….huh?

Pridak: He doesn't know. We're wasting time. Let's go. (runs off into the next room)

Xplode: Right. (follows Pridak)

Tahu: …why does it feel like I've missed so much after being gone for two hours?

Samus: Because you have.

Tahu: …oh. Well then.

Samus: Guess we should go track down those Piraka.

Tahu: …us? Why us?

Samus: (fiddles with her arm cannon) If I know the Piraka, it's a race against time for us.

Tahu: A race against time?

Samus: Yeah. We have to find them before they break something that does something really bad.

Tahu: …oh. Great.

Samus: Let's move. I don't feel like getting blown up by whatever important pipeline they manage to detonate.

To be continued…

-MT

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Don't we usually condone illegal actions?

 

Fixed it for ya MT, with a few capitalization corrections.

 

The answer is yes, BTW.

 

It's nice to see how far Zaktann has come from being the imbecile that fell into a pool in the middle of a luxury resort to a fully developed, highly trained warrior capable of fending off multiple Hero Factory sets.

 

Maybe one day he'll be able to single-handedly kill the Dark Lord like Pridak.

 

-Toa Levacius Zehvor :flagusa:

"I disapprove of what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."


- Evelyn Beatrice Hall (often attributed to Voltaire)

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Yes that was AWESOME.( read A and A1 recently)

-Rahkshi Guurahk
GENERATION 3: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.
If I actually tried putting all the stuff I like on here, the sig would burst.

d1O9dXQ.png

 

(This banner is created by http://www.bzpower.com/board/user/59020-onaku/ )

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@Lev: He was always the hero the house deserved...just not the one it needed.

@iBrow: It means he gets his own sideshow! Next time, on Ask Zaktan...

@RG: Dang...you read really quickly. Thanks for the kind words, too!

Chapter 10: The Producer

In the basement…

Thok: …and the number's 5…7….0….1

*BEEP!*

Cage: (opens up)

Vezok: …oohhhhhhh boy….ooohhhhhhhh boy…the ultimate power….

Zaktan: (steps forward and grabs the glowing sphere of light)

Light: (fades away)

Zaktan: …?

Mask: (drops to the ground and lands by Zaktan's feet)

Zaktan: …hmm. (picks it up)

Hakann: …well? What is it?

Zaktan: A mask. Of some sort.

Hakann: …a mask? Really? Well that's just great.

Vezok: …what's so bad about a mask?

Hakann: What do you think is so bad about a mask? We came all the way down here, risking life and limb…and the ultimate power turns out to be something that we can't even fit on our heads?

Zaktan: …you do have a point there…it's a bit of a tight fit. Avak?

Avak: Hmm?

Zaktan: Do you think there's any way that you could…perhaps…change the size of this mask? To get it to fit on our heads?

Avak: I could give it a shot, sure. No guarantees on what will happen when you try to resize the ultimate power, though.

Zaktan: Well, if it breaks, it breaks. Better to have it not exist than to let Pridak get it or something.

Reidak: *shudders*

Vezok: …speaking of Pridak…we should probably get going. Don't want the others to think we got lost or something.

Meanwhile, upstairs…

Tahu: ZAAAKKKTTAAANNN!!!

Samus: …

Tahu: …VEEEZZZOOOKKKK!!!!

Samus: …

Tahu: RREEEEIIIDDAAAAKKK!!!

Samus: …

Tahu: …man. Nothing at all.

Samus: Dare I suggest that shouting at them isn't going to help much?

Tahu: …what do you mean?

Samus: Well, they've clearly disappeared intentionally. Perhaps they wanted to get away from the rest of the group. Yelling at them would merely inform them that we are nearby, and thus would drive them deeper into hiding.

Tahu: …fair point. Maybe we should just go invent some Piraka radar for next time or some-

*SPLAT!*

Samus: …what was that?

Tahu: …I…stepped in…something…(picks his foot up out of a pile of goo)…what in the world?

Samus: It looks like a trail of some sort…heading into that room over there.

Tahu: (scrapes some pink stuff off of his foot) …perhaps we had better go check out whatever is covering the floor in Laffy-Taffy like substances.

Samus: I bet it's some sort of evil slug hive. (walks over and opens the door)

Tahu: Or a horrible Kraata reproduction center.

Samus: Ugh. Or maybe-(stares inside)

Tahu: …

Samus: …

Tahu: …

Samus: …eerrrr….

Tahu: What the heck?

Matoran: Oh! Greetings! Hello there!

Samus: …

Tahu: …

Samus: …

Tahu: …orrrr a Matoran worm factory…

Samus: That was my second guess.

Matoran: …so…you've showed up! Are you here to rescue me?

Tahu: …uh…rescue you?

Matoran: Yeah. You know, from the secret message in the basement downstairs? The one hidden on the pathway to the ultimate power?

Samus: …so that's where the Piraka went…

Tahu: …er…no…we came here because there was a giant purple stain on the ground leading to this door…and carpet cleaners are really expensive.

Matoran: …oh. Well, would you still mind rescuing me nonetheless?

Samus: ...

Tahu: That will depend on whether or not you stop ruining my flooring.

Matoran: It's a deal.

Samus: Out of curiosity, what exactly is forcing you to be "rescued" anyway? Can't you just walk out of the room?

Matoran: Well…er…I could…but it's a bit of a long story.

Tahu: We've got time. It's not like we particularly care about the fate of the people we're searching for.

Matoran: Awesome! My name is Ahkmou.

Samus: …Ahkmou…wasn't he that evil Po-Matoran from that terrible prequel saga?

Tahu: Would that be the first time, the second time, or the third time that Lego tried to steal the spotlight from me?

Ahkmou: I grew up in Metru Nui, and I decided to betray the Toa Metru one day. Anyways, after the Visorak took over, I was taken to a horrible place where I was punished for my misdeeds.

Tahu: …

Samus: …that…um…sounds terrible.

Tahu: Are you actually suggesting that Metru Nui is a real place?

Ahkmou: I was transferred to the evil Villain Factory on Planet Zebes, the opposite of Hero Factory. There, I was recruited by Mother Brain to create these tiny slugs called "brains" which mess up the thinking processes of those they attack.

Tahu: …

Samus: …I knew it! Lego was planning a Metroid-Bionicle crossover after all!

Tahu: So…not only are you suggesting that Metru Nui really exists…but Hero Factory, Planet Zebes, and a makeshift evil "opposite" of Hero Factory exist as well?

Ahkmou: Why, of course.

Samus: Something tells me that he's the one who's had his thinking processes messed up.

Tahu: …

Ahkmou: So…will you rescue me?

Tahu: You still haven't explained just why we need to "rescue" you.

Ahkmou: Oh. Well, Mother Brain told me that if I were to escape, I would be hunted down and killed. But, if someone kidnapped me instead, they would be hunted down and killed in my place.

Samus: …

Tahu: …so the only reason you want us to rescue you is so that someone can come try and kill us in your place.

Ahkmou: Precisely. Although you're both tough looking Toa. I'm sure you'll be fine.

Tahu: …both…Toa? (looks at Samus)

Samus: …do I really look that weird?

Ahkmou: Yes.

Samus: …ouch.

Tahu: Look. We're not afraid of this silly "Mother Brain" thing. But we're also not big fans of kidnapping people. So long as you claim to have come on your free will, we'll protect you from whatever vengeful hunters show up to try and take you back.

Ahkmou: Oh. Thank you!

Tahu: I don't want to have to deal with any frivolous lawsuits saying we "kidnapped" someone.

Ahkmou: Hooray! Now I can stop producing these slug things! (gets up from his poorly made bench and leaps for joy!)

*SPLAT!*

Ahkmou: …

Tahu: …maybe you should leap for joy when we're out of the room littered with pink splotch marks.

Ahkmou: …ah…right.

Tahu: …man…this is going to cost so much to clean up…

Meanwhile, at the uber top secret Villain Factory HQ…

Underling: …sir…we have a problem. One of our producers was just kidnapped.

Voice: …kidnapped?

Underling: It was one of the more willing kidnappings ever.

Voice: …ah. Then, you know what to do. Take out the uncooperative parties involved.

Underling: Yes sir.

NEXT TIME…

VILLAIN FACTORY ATTACKS…

-MT

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