Jump to content

  • Log in with Facebook Log in with Twitter Log In with Google      Sign In   
  • Create Account

Welcome to BZPower!

Hi there, while we hope you enjoy browsing through the site, there's a lot more you can do if you register. The process is easy and you can use your Google, Facebook, or Twitter account to make it even faster. Some perks of joining include:
  • Create your own topics, participate in existing discussions, and vote in polls
  • Show off your creations, stories, art, music, and movies and play member and staff-run games
  • Enter contests to win free LEGO sets and other prizes, and vote to decide the winners
  • Participate in raffles, including exclusive raffles for new members, and win free LEGO sets
  • Send private messages to other members
  • Organize with other members to attend or send your MOCs to LEGO fan events all over the world
  • Much, much more!
Enjoy your visit!

Posted Image


Photo

Warnings

short stories cautionary tales anthology

  • Please log in to reply
2 replies to this topic

#1 Offline Kung Fu Pyro

Kung Fu Pyro
  • Members
  • Makuta Conquered!

  • 585 posts
  •  

Posted Feb 25 2013 - 01:54 PM

Welcome to Warnings. This is an ongoing anthology of short tales I have written as warnings for various life issues that you may or may not come across. Read on, as the first tale is about to begin.

 

Story 1: The Orphan and the Widow

 

      A long time ago, in the time of lanterns and new ideas, there lived a little orphan boy. The boy was homeless, and avoided orphanages. He lived on the streets, begging and stealing to survive. One day, he overheard one of the many travelers walking in the streets talk about a city where there was work and shelter aplenty, and many shops in need of apprentices. The orphan was delighted to hear of such a place, where he could start a new life. However, the city in question was a very long ways away, and the only way to get there was by train. So, the boy tried to beg for the money he could to buy a train ticket, but was ignored by everybody, and when he tried to steal money, he was promptly noticed and driven away. After a week of trying, he was about to give up, and started to cry. Out of nowhere, a middle-aged woman walked up to him and asked him what was wrong. He explained his problems, and the woman decided to give him the money he needed. The orphan thanked her profusely for her kindness, and went to get his ticket.

 

     Years later, the orphan had grown into a highly successful businessman, having taken over the bank he had apprenticed in. Very rich, he had become full of pride and had a very large ego. One morning, he was out for a walk and came across an old widow, begging for money or food. By chance, this widow was the very same woman who had been so kind to him all those years ago. Once her husband had died, she was left with no source of income, and her children all lived very far away. Not recognizing the woman, the orphan-turned-businessman simply scoffed at her, called her a stupid old hag, and walked away.

 

 

Beware your pride, lest it outweigh your kindness.


Edited by Kung Fu Rahkshi Destroyer, Feb 25 2013 - 01:54 PM.

  • 0

sigpart1.pngsigpart2.pngsigpart3.pngsigpart4.png

 


#2 Offline Axilus Prime

Axilus Prime
  • Members
  • Bohrok-Kal Vanquished

  • 4,959 posts
  •  

Posted Mar 12 2013 - 07:56 AM

O_o good story. Stories like this always shock me and make me feel like I did something like that even though when I go through my memories I've never done anything of the sort. It's weird...


  • 0

#3 Offline Janus

Janus
  • Premier Member
    BioniLUG Member
  • Premier Retired Staff
  • Senior Grump

  • 3,306 posts
  •   Retired Staff

Posted Mar 24 2013 - 05:07 PM

I understand the concept behind these, and even the desire to keep them to a short length, but the 'warning' at the end of this one seems somewhat tacked on.  I understand that what he did was a horrible thing, but the writing doesn't reflect that, and the way it suddenly ends it almost supports the man in his dismissal of the person who helped him. 

 

Again, while I understand what he did was terrible, looking at it objectively the story doesn't reinforce that idea, which makes the first warning fall a little flat.

 

I feel that this is an intriguing concept, but something that could use a little more fleshing out.  Let us feel for the characters involved, and have there be some form of consequence for when the man rejects the woman.

 

Just my thoughts.


  • 0

NoNoNoNoNonNO

You misunderstood me

You didn't hear what I said

You're not listening LIKE MOST AMERICANS

-Arin Hanson





0 user(s) are browsing this forum

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users