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short stories cautionary tales anthology

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#1 Offline Kung Fu Evol

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Posted Feb 25 2013 - 01:54 PM

Welcome to Warnings. This is an ongoing anthology of short tales I have written as warnings for various life issues that you may or may not come across. Read on, as the first tale is about to begin.


Story 1: The Orphan and the Widow


      A long time ago, in the time of lanterns and new ideas, there lived a little orphan boy. The boy was homeless, and avoided orphanages. He lived on the streets, begging and stealing to survive. One day, he overheard one of the many travelers walking in the streets talk about a city where there was work and shelter aplenty, and many shops in need of apprentices. The orphan was delighted to hear of such a place, where he could start a new life. However, the city in question was a very long ways away, and the only way to get there was by train. So, the boy tried to beg for the money he could to buy a train ticket, but was ignored by everybody, and when he tried to steal money, he was promptly noticed and driven away. After a week of trying, he was about to give up, and started to cry. Out of nowhere, a middle-aged woman walked up to him and asked him what was wrong. He explained his problems, and the woman decided to give him the money he needed. The orphan thanked her profusely for her kindness, and went to get his ticket.


     Years later, the orphan had grown into a highly successful businessman, having taken over the bank he had apprenticed in. Very rich, he had become full of pride and had a very large ego. One morning, he was out for a walk and came across an old widow, begging for money or food. By chance, this widow was the very same woman who had been so kind to him all those years ago. Once her husband had died, she was left with no source of income, and her children all lived very far away. Not recognizing the woman, the orphan-turned-businessman simply scoffed at her, called her a stupid old hag, and walked away.



Beware your pride, lest it outweigh your kindness.

Edited by Kung Fu Rahkshi Destroyer, Feb 25 2013 - 01:54 PM.

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#2 Offline Axilus Prime

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Posted Mar 12 2013 - 07:56 AM

O_o good story. Stories like this always shock me and make me feel like I did something like that even though when I go through my memories I've never done anything of the sort. It's weird...

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#3 Offline Janus

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Posted Mar 24 2013 - 05:07 PM

I understand the concept behind these, and even the desire to keep them to a short length, but the 'warning' at the end of this one seems somewhat tacked on.  I understand that what he did was a horrible thing, but the writing doesn't reflect that, and the way it suddenly ends it almost supports the man in his dismissal of the person who helped him. 


Again, while I understand what he did was terrible, looking at it objectively the story doesn't reinforce that idea, which makes the first warning fall a little flat.


I feel that this is an intriguing concept, but something that could use a little more fleshing out.  Let us feel for the characters involved, and have there be some form of consequence for when the man rejects the woman.


Just my thoughts.

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