Just started, I'll post comments on it as I play. SPOILERS INCLUDED, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
Opening sequence: Awesome! I can very easily see it something Takua would struggle with anxiety about.
Talk with Jala: "Well whatever, they're stuck under that impassible rock layer" sounded awkward and forced. I think this should be something more like "Those things were deep underground; I think we're safe."
"Wait a miniute... how many passages through the rock layer exist?" Should be minute, and How should be capitalized.
In Ta-Koro: The suva polisher says "Matioran," and he says "my arm is tired." with no capitalization.
"Jaller" should be Jala.
"Jaller has told me about your dream" needs a period.
"but they might be trapped down there..." has no capitalization.
"yeah, so the real question is:" same issue.
"rocklayer" is two words.
"than the seal must still be Broken." Than should be then and Broken shouldn't be capitalized.
"Takua take this letter to all the other Turaga." needs a comma after "Takua."
That's all the spelling and grammar stuff I'm going to talk about right now. I'd recommend finding someone, or a team, to just go through the text files and fix errors. I wouldn't mind pitching in.
One thing I found strange was how strange it was that they were so worried about the Bohrok escaping, when they didn't even know if the Bohrok had any interest in coming to the surface. What I'd suggest is for Takua to wake from his dream and tell Jala he's still worrying about the things he saw underground. Jala says he'll talk to Vakama and ask if the Turaga knows what they are. Then Takua stumbles upon Vakama and Jala. Vakama tells Takua that they are called Bohrok, and if they are awake, everyone on Mata Nui is in danger. No need to bring up the rock layer. Then Takua gets the letter.
Love the Mask of Light and Reign of Shadows foreshadowing you added to the telescope!
The talk with Nixie was very cool, although there were some awkward phrases both from Takua and Nixie.
Maku swimming alongside the boat was a little silly, but I'll excuse it as a bit of humor, like Kopeke being frozen in a block of ice and hardly caring, especially with what came right after.
But it's a bit odd the souvenir Matoran tells you what Po-Koro is.
Oh yes, the scene at the Po-Koro market is wonderful.
The Nuparu scene is great too, excellent way to establish his character.
Whoo, finished the chapter! Anything I didn't talk about was good or great. But the text at the end was supposed to flash from English to Matoran, right?
The tree numbers are Arabic, even when playing in Matoran.
Midak's mask is squished when you talk to him.
The chapter is unfinished, right? No way to leave Ta-Koro?