Eyru Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Note: "exit number 117" is meant to be read as "exit number one seventeen." Exit Number 117Fortnightly Flash Fiction #5: Branching Out In this wild twisting chasing highway we like to call lifeI suppose the first time I found myself facing an impossible choiceWas the midnight I came to exit number 117 And it wasn't the number that made it particularly specialThe sign was old and worn and the 7 was sort of scratchedAs though a bird had flown into it or something And the road was cracked and faded and the puddles ofAsphalt I saw in my headlights were gray and older than my parentsI slowed down because I was the only one on the road It's an interesting moment when you're the only one on the roadBecause nobody else can make your choices for youYou can walk on glass if you like, or walk by The sky was full of stars and a bright moon and planets and galaxiesBut I didn't bother looking at them because I was busyWondering which way was right for me You see, my parents always taught me to follow my dreamsAnd I was sure that my dreams lay farther down the highwayMaybe exit number 200, or number 179, or the place where the asphalt ends But exit number 117 had a strange charm all the sameThe dusty road begged to be travelledAnd the darkness beyond the highway begged to be explored And how is an 18-year-old supposed to know exactly which exit to take anyway?I guessed that this wasn't my roadBut who knew, and did it matter? So I put it off for another day, put the engine in gear, and my tires squeaked as IPulled away from exit number 117And set my tired eyes back to the highway The wide road was easier to driveAnd easier than thinking about other places I could goMore comfortable than thinking about branching out, diversifying, changing Because, after all, the easiest road to travelIs the one I've been driving all my lifeAnd it's simpler to keep exit number 117 in my rearview mirror than to keep it in front of me But every now and then, I'll feel a twinge of regretThe bite of nostalgia as I look back and think for a moment I see that exit I passedA faint glimmer on the horizon It's not there of course: I passed it long agoAnd I've never found the time to go backWho knows if it would even be there by the time I got around to it Now I'm farther along the highway and it's been a fun rideBut I'll always wonder what lay beyond exit number 117I guess that's how it works: you choose an exit, or you don't Quote BRPG Forum Rules • BZPRPG Starter Topic • Q&A Compendium • SK:A Profiles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dual Cee Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 It was a good story, comparing life to a road has been done before, but the idea never gets old. Of course this thing didn't contain any grammatical or spelling errors at all. Not even something as small as a typo so yeah, thats good...So I guess, I'll just comment on things I like, and things that just sounded that slight bit strange, since well, this story was pretty much very good. In this wild twisting chasing highway we like to call life Well this is a good introduction to the story, however..."Chasing" sounds a little odd here, since a road can't really chase right? So I guess I'd be logic to assume that you mean "Changing" The sky was full of stars and a bright moon and planets and galaxies The repeating of the "and" sounds pretty, bwa, I know it's a super minor nitpick I just reccommend changing all but the last to comma's. That was basicly all the nitpicking I could do. Not my basic ideas:For some reason I really like the choice of the number 117, it flows well, and well, I just like it, it surely sounds better then just hundred.I liked how the main character had the choice between nostalgia and the future... It reminded me of my own life, and of the choices I have still to make in the coming future. Well it's always good if you can personalise with a character in the story. And I'm glad for the dude that he actually chose for the future, and the slight regret he felt while making the choise sounded very believable and logicaly. [qoute]Now I'm farther along the highway and it's been a fun rideBut I'll always wonder what lay beyond exit number 117I guess that's how it works: you choose an exit, or you don't[/qoute] I really liked this ending, no, what do I say, it was downright awesome. It was really easy to get what you meant there, but still it was written in a little poetic way and a combination between poeticness and realism is good.The choice also resembled real life, and that identification... Is good. Well yeah, it was a good story, no, it was a REALLY good story. Everthing a good story needs is in this. It was not too long, but also not too short. Grammar and spelling were both ok only two super minor nitpicks. Way to go man, way to go! Keep on writing. Quote I'm back! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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