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Mixed Up - The Return Of The Bohrok-Kal's Ramblings


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#121 Offline Phovos

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Posted May 03 2013 - 02:57 AM

Morning, mates! I saw that y'house was on fire, so I put it out for ya!

Oh, er, thanks...

Wow... We only went to the shops... And now it's like the end of the world...

Oh dear! What's wrong wit'your buddy?

Long story. Gahlok, feel free to tell Veekay everything. The rest of us will work on Tahnok...

Bloody heck...

Yeah... It's a long story...

Is Tahnok going to be okay?

Hopefully...

As long as we keep his Krana nearby, he should be fine, but if he spends too long Krana-less, he'll start losing memories and things like that. Any longer than a week and he'll end up being a completely different Bohrok.

He could turn into a Nuhvok?

No, don't be silly, but after three days, his personality would start changing on top of the memory loss and after a week, his memories, his current personality, his likes and dislikes, they'd all be gone!

Can't we just put his Krana back in and kill those two 'good and evil' Tahnoks before they realise what happened?

I don't think we can risk that, Nuhvok... We might end up killing Tahnok anyway... Doesn't he have any spare Krana?

The problem's with the body, not the Krana. The Krana just powers us. Personality data is stored in the body, just behind the eyes...

So we could open Tahnok up and edit that data and just delete those two alternate personalities?

Kohrak can't do that! We need some sort of expert! We need... We need our parents...

We can't ask them. They hate us more than the Toa do! Heck, they hate us more than they hate mass suicide...

We can make it up to them...

I don't think we can... But we ought to try... For Tahnok's sake...

I'll call them.

Good luck...

It won't wor...

Sh! It's ringing!

Hello?

Hello, mother, it's your loving child, Pahrak... 

What do you want, you scum?

Erm... Well...

Spit it out.

Tahnok's ill. He has this multiple personality problem. But we can't fix it. We need your help.

He can die in a ditch for all I care.

Please, mother, we love you and we love Tahnok very much and we don't want to lose him... Please...

... Fine. But there's some things I need you to do first. I'll send you a list...

Yes, of course! Thank you!

Now go away...

What did she say? She said yes?

Yes! But they want us to do some things first!

I just got a message...

Oh, me too.

Same here...

Oh dear... One for each of us. 

Guys, I just got a message from mum and mum! They told me that I "need to confront my fear of Visorak or they won't help Tahnok..."

I have to go back to Skyrim...

I have to go and see the Rahkshi and apologise on behalf of Tahnok, and I have to cook them all a meal... I don't even know where they live now!

Oh no, I have to break up with Macku... She's going to kill me.

Bloody Bahrag...

What?

We're going to have to move out... 

What do you mean?

I have to destroy this house. They won't help Tahnok unless I destroy this house and we move elsewhere...

Oh no...

Edited by Phovos, Mar 16 2014 - 06:27 AM.

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#122 Offline Phovos

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Posted May 07 2013 - 02:50 AM

You haven't gone and spoken to Maku yet?

Not yet... Building up the courage... And I'm helping Gahlok by collecting spiders for him. I can't believe the Bahrag are making us do this.

I know, I know... I don't want to have to break this house... Tear it apart... Break everything...

Where IS Tahnok, by the way?

The Bahrag teleported him into their lair so they can operate on him.

Have the others headed off yet?

Yeah. Pahrak's gone to see the Rahkshi, Nuhvok is doing goodness knows what in Skyrim. He didn't really like the idea of what he had to do. He's been rather secretive about it too.

Ah... So what about all our stuff?

I've rented a container to put everything in while we find a new place, but we're going to be homeless for a bit. Luckily, once most of my weaponry is destroyed, we don't actually have a lot of stuff. Just beds and furniture and bits and pieces. Luckily, the Bahrag have allowed me to keep my portal gun... The other stuff though...

They're making you destroy your weapons?

Yeah... Anything potentially lethal. I only get to keep the Portal Gun, my Medi Gun, the teleporters and my gravity gun. I buried my Ubersaw in Veekay's garden so I wouldn't have to destroy it. It's just... So many memories... 

I know... It's such a shame... Eh... I really ought to go and speak to Macku now. Are you holding back?

I'm holding back a bit. Waiting until everyone else is done so they can pick up anything they want. Pahrak grabbed the microwave and mini-oven and some of Tahnok's blankets and pillows. And that mini Rahkshi staff that Turahk made for him. I'm surprised that Tahnok still keeps it.

What about the rest of Tahnok's stuff?

I have to leave most of it. Bahrag's orders. Gave me a list of things I had to destroy.

That sucks... Oh well... I'm gonna go speak to Macku...

Good luck. You can come help me destroy things later if you want.

Cool.

See ya.

...

...

...

Lehvak? Are you okay?

Yeah, not really... Macku, I have some... News...

Don't tell me you're turning into a Bahrag...

What? No, I can't do that anyway. At least, I don't think I can. No... This is arguably worse...

Oh great.

I gotta explain it first though. It's all the Rahkshi's fault, by the way. Bloody sons of a Makuta.

That's what they are.

I was going to say something other than 'Makuta' but, you know...

Oh. So what is it?

I have to break up with you.

WHAT? You haven't found some other adventurous Ga-Matoran, have you?

No! not at all! You're like, the best Matoran ever ever ever... It's just...

What.

My brother is ill... Normally we can fix these things but this time, we just can't. And the Bahrag... They refuse to help unless we all do these chores for them.

They made you break up with me? That's the worst excuse I have ever heard!

I swear! I'm not lying! And if I wanted you gone, I'd just arrange it so you ended up back with Hewkii, all the while singing that Want You Gone Portal song.

Oh...

Yeah...

That sucks.

I feel that there is a but coming along here...

But I have an idea... Call me when your brother is all better, okay?

Sure...

Give my regards to your brothers!

Thank you, stay safe, Macku!

Edited by Phovos, Mar 16 2014 - 06:27 AM.

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#123 Offline Purple God

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Posted May 07 2013 - 07:21 AM

This is my screening for re-enlistment into the CCC. So iBrow decided to throw your request at me. Standard procedure, ya know?

 

Kills two birds with stone and all that jazz too.

 

Anyway, let's get this started.

 

SPELLING AND GRAMMAR

 

No! Instead, I'm going to make a hole in Space Time!

Space-time usually isn't capitalised.

 

Oh... Sparkly.

Assuming that is is supposed to be an expression of awe, which would be more 'Ooh'. Pedantic, I know, but it helps people more than just a simple 'Oh'. Also, I usually don't capitalise words after ellipses, although it's a matter of personal choice.

 

Don't call for him like that. He's not a dog. And he'll read this later and correct us, saying that it is indeed Space-Time with a hyphen.

You can also spell it as spacetime or space time. Doesn't really matter. Just remember to be consistent.

 

And what's your name?

Usually sentences aren't supposed to start with 'and'.

 

This is the Throat of the World. The highest place in all of Skyrim.

Maybe, "This is the Throat of the World; the highest place in all of Skyrim."?

 

Leave him out of this. I do not wish for him to kill every Dov there is.

The "there is" is unnecessary, and serves only to make the sentence sound less fluid.

 

It means 'Thank you' in German.

I don't think 'thank' should be capitalised.

 

Well then, that's pretty much the only errors I could find. A few read-overs should be fine if you want error-free writing.

 

Rating: 95%.

 

PLOT

 

Because I haven't really read your story much, I'll just rate this arc, which ... is pretty bland really. Lehvak and Gahlok are sucked into the world of Skyrim, probably around the late-game or so, meet up with a dragon, reunite with Nuhvok, your PC randomly appears and a evil dragon is easily take down before the Kal head back to their world. Bam, no real conflict or actual development. Nothing is really fleshed out at all, and it just feels pretty filler-ish.

 

Narratives usually work better if there is a bit more tension; this arc was resolved far too quickly for enough tension to be generated.

 

Fleshing out your plots will be a good improvement for your stories. Develop the characters a bit, look into their interactions more ... that kind of stuff.

 

Rating: 65%

 

HUMOUR

 

The attempts at jokes in these four chapters fall a bit flat, especially the attempt at explaining a monologue, which felt forced and bland. A comedy like yours, which consists of nothing else but dialogue, requires a lot of focus on making good jokes and the way your characters interact with each other. Usual prose comedies allow you to derive humour from the characters' actions, which is pretty much impossible in yours.

 

Constant nonsensical banter between the characters might seem funny in the real world, but usually there is the inclusion of facial expressions, tone of voice, et cetera. There is no description on what type of tone your characters are speaking in, adding to the blandness of your attempts at humour. Describing the setting and the situation your characters are in will definitely give you greater creative freedom and allow you to generate more humour.

 

If you wish to stay with the semi-script format that is currently being used, you'll need to kick the quality of your jokes up a notch.

 

I do recommend that you add more description at least, in a more ... Aftermath-esque form, if you will.

 

Rating: 62%

 

Overall:

 

Your plot and humour are in need of definite improvement, as stated above. Plot should be easy enough to fix up: all you really need to do is develop your characters more and add some more tension. Humour on the other hand needs more work, but hopefully if you are capable of thinking up more creative and better jokes, or even changing the format of your comedy, you'll be fine. I do recommend reading other comedies to get a good idea though.

 

In all, your comedy can be better, you just need to work hard and learn from other stories, and you'll be fine.

 

Average Rating: (95+65+62)/3 = 74%


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ULPxgev.gif

~Prepare to fight — for, evidently, you have found peace intolerable.~


#124 Offline Phovos

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Posted May 08 2013 - 12:48 AM

Yay! Another rubbish review!

 

Eh, what can I expect. It's only me who reads this anyway. I suppose, it doesn't help that I picked a rather silly arc, maybe I should have given you the lemonade battle instead.

 

It kinda sucks that you're telling me to change the format of my comedy, a format I have been using for 5 years now. You say 'Make it more like Aftermath'. That makes me feel very inferior.

 

And man, you are all so nit-picky on grammar! What is it with you all and minute mistakes.

 

Quick question: how do I give a Bohrok facial expressions?

 

Also, apologies, I don't really take criticism well when I'm jarate'd off.


Edited by Phovos the Raptor, May 08 2013 - 01:08 AM.

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#125 Offline Purple God

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Posted May 08 2013 - 02:58 AM

Uh, let me clear up a few things.

 

When I meant "Aftermath-esque", I meant that you could add little descriptions of what the characters are doing, like this mini-excerpt that I shall handily provide.

 

(Sorry MT for stealing this line. Will make it up to you via indexing.)

 

Ghirardelli: (reappears on top of the burning TV) …oogh…my head…

Tada! As we can see, Ghirardelli has reappeared on top of a burning TV! Doing little things like this give you more creative freedom, ya know? You don't need to change the format of your story completely either. I'm not asking you to switch to prose or anything, but maybe adding a few brackets to describe what your characters are doing will be helpful.

 

Besides, this and Aftermath aren't that different, mechanics-wise. Both of them are long-running script comedies.

 

And man, you are all so nit-picky on grammar! What is it with you all and minute mistakes?

I know this doesn't really help my case, replacing the full stop with a question mark and all that, but even tiny grammar mistakes are important to take note of. By pointing them out to you, you'll be able to fix them, and when writing later works, the chances of you making little grammar mistakes will decrease.

 

Besides, your grammar is really good. I can't do my job if you have nothing for me to criticise, so all I can point out are the minor mistakes.

 

Quick question: how do I give a Bohrok facial expressions?

That was just a hypothetical suggestion. If non-Bohrok were used, then facial expressions would really enhance the story. Although here I suppose you can work with the tone of voice the Kal are using.

 

Hopefully that helps.


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ULPxgev.gif

~Prepare to fight — for, evidently, you have found peace intolerable.~


#126 Offline Phovos

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Posted May 08 2013 - 04:52 AM

"No, Phovos! What are you doing? You can't do that!" Lehvak-Kal shouted from outside. "You can't do that at all! This is TRADITION!"
 
The Raptor ignored him and continued plinky-planking on her keyboard. She had that angry, hungry, chocolate-craving look on her face.
 
Lehvak groaned and bashed on the front door. "Phovos! You've been writing the Bohrok-Kal's Ramblings for like five years now! You can't just suddenly change the format! All he suggested was to add in a few brackets! Nothing major!"
 
Still no response. With yet another groan, Lehvak bashed down the door and stormed in, up the stairs, straight into Phovos's bedroom. "Are you even listening?"
 
Phovos glared at the Bohrok.
 
"I'll take that as a no..." Lehvak sighed. "But seriously, don't go all rage-change on us! You still have the rest of this Tahnok-Being-Ill story line to write! Don't tell me that you're seriously going to switch to prose in the middle of a story arc?"
 
With a grunt, Phovos went back to typing. Phovos's eyes and lack of a response were really starting to annoy Lehvak. But he clearly wasn't getting anywhere. "Fine. Be like that. See if we care. As long as we keep our coloured text, do as you please."
 
Lehvak sighed and left the house, walking down the street on his lonesome. After a while, he realised that he was a. talking to himself again and b. he'd walked straight past the Bohrok-Kal's house. Or what was left of it. Kohrak had already started tearing down the building, as he'd been ordered to do by the Bahrag.
 
"What's going on, Lehvak? Why are we all suddenly using prose?" Kohrak asked.
 
"Phovos's raging again. You know what she's like. Sometimes it works out though..."
 
Kohrak sniffed. "I'm gonna miss having a new chapter almost every day..."
 
"Depends on Phovos's work load."
 
"Of course." Kohrak went back to work, disintegrating the kitchen sink. "You wanna help? Also, have you seen Gahlok?"
 
"Gahlok? Yeah. He's heading back now. Last time I saw him, he was actually riding on a Visorak. Gahlok. On a Visorak. And Phovos writing in prose. And Tahnok-Kal possibly dying. You've got to wonder what's going on around here..."
 
"Ah, yeah... At least Gahlok's mission was simple. Still haven't heard anything from Nuhvok. Pahrak send me a message earlier telling me how much he now hated Rahkshi. Apparently there's a dead, rotten Rahi in the back of their cave, stinking the place out. And they don't seem to have an oven or anything, so he's got to make a BBQ or something." Kohrak started breaking up a load of plates and glasses. "Dunno why the Bahrag wanted me to break the kitchen. What do they have against kitchens?"
 
"Kohrak, they're big, fat, scary monsters. Why do they do anything?"
 
"I hope they didn't hear you calling them fat."
 
"They deserve it, looking at the way they treat us."
 
"Well... Oh, hiya, Gahlok! We were just talking about you!"
 
Gahlok skidded to a halt, puffing and panting. "Hi... Hi guys..."
 
"You alright?" Lehvak asked.
 
"Yeah... Did the Bahrag say I had to not be afraid of all spidery things?" Gahlok was still panting.
 
"Erm, I don't think so..." Kohrak replied. "That's kinda impossible. Especially when it's basic instinct to be scared, plus, there are some absolutely huge spidery things out there..."
 
"Ooooh good. I was afraid I'd have to face my fears and be friends with that horrific, Matoran-killing Spiderbeast up in the mountains."
 
"You... You went all the way up there?" Kohrak stuttered.
 
"Yes... Wish I hadn't. I think I lost it about half way down the mountain, but I was too scared to turn around and look until I saw you guys..."
 
"Huh..."
 
"Gahlok, that's pretty darn brave and/or stupid of you..."
 
"Thank you, Lehvak."
 
Gahlok sighed and wandered inside, not noticing that half the house was missing. Lehvak and Kohrak waited a moment, wondering of Gahlok would notice his bedroom was missing. About five minutes later, he did notice.
 
"Why is the house missing?"
 
"Bahrag's orders. I have to destroy the place."
 
"That sucks. Where are we gonna live?"
 
"I don't know yet."
 
"Erm, Kohrak?" Lehvak butted in. "Why didn't you arrange that earlier?"
 
"I only have a week. Destroying a house on your own takes forever. I got all the important stuff sorted out, apart from a place to live..."
 
"And what about the prose?"
 
"Oh, don't get us started about that again. Phovos is very angry today. Just go with the flow."
 
"Fine... Although, I am sure Veekay will let us stay for a bit..."
 
"Veekay's gone back home. He said he had to go because they were having Ksa elections and he was thinking about becoming the nominee for the K-Class Ksa. Or something like that. But he did give me a key..."
 
"Neat. Well... I guess that is sorted then... What now?"
 
Kohrak sighed. "I don't know. We'll just have to wait for Pahrak and Nuhvok to come back..."

Edited by Phovos, Mar 16 2014 - 06:28 AM.

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#127 Offline Purple God

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Posted May 08 2013 - 08:05 PM

I didn't expect this reaction.

 

Although the story does look better, but that might be my bias for prose showing.


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#128 Offline Rahkshi Guurahk

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Posted May 08 2013 - 09:52 PM

Phovos

Eh, what can I expect. It's only me who reads this anyway

Lies!

And I really don't care about the style of writing, to add my input.


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#129 Offline Phovos

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Posted May 09 2013 - 04:49 AM

"No, Phovos! What are you doing? You can't do that!" Lehvak-Kal shouted from outside. "You can't do that at all! This is TRADITION!"

The Raptor ignored him and continued plinky-planking on her keyboard. She had that angry, hungry, chocolate-craving look on her face.

Lehvak groaned and bashed on the front door. "Phovos! You've been writing the Bohrok-Kal's Ramblings for like five years now! You can't just suddenly change the format! All he suggested was to add in a few brackets! Nothing major!"

Still no response. With yet another groan, Lehvak bashed down the door and stormed in, up the stairs, straight into Phovos's bedroom. "Are you even listening?"

Phovos glared at the Bohrok.

"I'll take that as a no..." Lehvak sighed. "But seriously, don't go all rage-change on us! You still have the rest of this Tahnok-Being-Ill story line to write! Don't tell me that you're seriously going to switch to prose in the middle of a story arc?"

With a grunt, Phovos went back to typing. Phovos's eyes and lack of a response were really starting to annoy Lehvak. But he clearly wasn't getting anywhere. "Fine. Be like that. See if we care. As long as we keep our coloured text, do as you please."

Lehvak sighed and left the house, walking down the street on his lonesome. After a while, he realised that he was a. talking to himself again and b. he'd walked straight past the Bohrok-Kal's house. Or what was left of it. Kohrak had already started tearing down the building, as he'd been ordered to do by the Bahrag.

"What's going on, Lehvak? Why are we all suddenly using prose?" Kohrak asked.

"Phovos's raging again. You know what she's like. Sometimes it works out though..."

Kohrak sniffed. "I'm gonna miss having a new chapter almost every day..."

"Depends on Phovos's work load."

"Of course." Kohrak went back to work, disintegrating the kitchen sink. "You wanna help? Also, have you seen Gahlok?"

"Gahlok? Yeah. He's heading back now. Last time I saw him, he was actually riding on a Visorak. Gahlok. On a Visorak. And Phovos writing in prose. And Tahnok-Kal possibly dying. You've got to wonder what's going on around here..."

"Ah, yeah... At least Gahlok's mission was simple. Still haven't heard anything from Nuhvok. Pahrak send me a message earlier telling me how much he now hated Rahkshi. Apparently there's a dead, rotten Rahi in the back of their cave, stinking the place out. And they don't seem to have an oven or anything, so he's got to make a BBQ or something." Kohrak started breaking up a load of plates and glasses. "Dunno why the Bahrag wanted me to break the kitchen. What do they have against kitchens?"

"Kohrak, they're big, fat, scary monsters. Why do they do anything?"

"I hope they didn't hear you calling them fat."

"They deserve it, looking at the way they treat us."

"Well... Oh, hiya, Gahlok! We were just talking about you!"

Gahlok skidded to a halt, puffing and panting. "Hi... Hi guys..."

"You alright?" Lehvak asked.

"Yeah... Did the Bahrag say I had to not be afraid of all spidery things?" Gahlok was still panting.

"Erm, I don't think so..." Kohrak replied. "That's kinda impossible. Especially when it's basic instinct to be scared, plus, there are some absolutely huge spidery things out there..."

"Ooooh good. I was afraid I'd have to face my fears and be friends with that horrific, Matoran-killing Spiderbeast up in the mountains."

"You... You went all the way up there?" Kohrak stuttered.

"Yes... Wish I hadn't. I think I lost it about half way down the mountain, but I was too scared to turn around and look until I saw you guys..."

"Huh..."

"Gahlok, that's pretty darn brave and/or stupid of you..."

"Thank you, Lehvak."

Gahlok sighed and wandered inside, not noticing that half the house was missing. Lehvak and Kohrak waited a moment, wondering of Gahlok would notice his bedroom was missing. About five minutes later, he did notice.

"Why is the house missing?"

"Bahrag's orders. I have to destroy the place."

"That sucks. Where are we gonna live?"

"I don't know yet."

"Erm, Kohrak?" Lehvak butted in. "Why didn't you arrange that earlier?"

"I only have a week. Destroying a house on your own takes forever. I got all the important stuff sorted out, apart from a place to live..."

"And what about the prose?"

"Oh, don't get us started about that again. Phovos is very angry today. Just go with the flow."

"Fine... Although, I am sure Veekay will let us stay for a bit..."

"Veekay's gone back home. He said he had to go because they were having Ksa elections and he was thinking about becoming the nominee for the K-Class Ksa. Or something like that. But he did give me a key..."

"Neat. Well... I guess that is sorted then... What now?"

Kohrak sighed. [color=#a9a9a9Nuhvok grunted as he climbed up the mountain. He could have flown or teleported up there, but that red dragon would attack him. He wasn't scared of the dragon, he just didn't want to kill it. Not that it mattered much, as the first thing he saw once he reached the peak was the sight of two dragons arguing. He knew though (purely from watching Kohrak playing The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim) that most dragons argued by trying to kill one another with fire breath and stuff. That didn't make much sense to Nuhvok.

"We are going to leave Muz alone. All they do is kill us."

"Only because you don't let us attack them! Men, mer, beast, whatever, they still kill us because that's what they do best! I don't fancy being permanently killed by one of their Dovahkiin, or worse, by a bloody giant or a unit of Imperials!"

"When I die, you can take over and do as you please! Until then, Odahviing, you are under MY command."

"But we're technically immortal, Paarthurnax! That will never happen!" Odahviing, which Nuhvok just learned was the name of the red dragon, shouted, making little things flicker in the air somehow. Silly dragon language.

Nuhvok coughed to grab their attention. "Hello, dragons!"

"Hello, Daedra..." Paarthurnax rolled his eyes. "What do you want? Here to tear space-time apart again? Here to kill the other Dovahkiin?"

"Erm, no, not at all. I have a proposal for you..."

Before Nuhvok could finish, Paarthurnax shifted and climbed back onto his word wall. "Not interested. Speak to Odahviing."

Odahviing growled.

"Actually, this might be good for you, matey!" Nuhvok 'smiled' again. "You want to kill things?"

The red dragon's eyes suddenly sparkled. "Yes, yes I do."

"Well, if you accept my proposal, you'll be free to wreck havoc in a new world. The only problem is that Toa are quite a bit stronger than humans, but they don't have all those mystical powers and armies and things that humans have."

Odahviing's eyes continued to sparkle. But Paarthurnax, who was suddenly interested in the conversation again, was less amused.

"And why are you proposing this to us, Daedra?"

"I'm not a Daedra. Or a demon. I'm a Bohrok. Not related at all."

"You didn't answer my question."

"I was getting to that bit, moron. Anyway, my parents, the Bahrag, they are bored. They want to cause some carnage, but they're so fat, they can't move. They'd get us to do it but they hate us and we like being good guys. And because they're lazy, they're making me arrange something for them..."

"And you can't simply refuse them?" Odahviing asked.

Nuhvok sighed. "Wish I could... But my brother's life is on the line here. If we don't get our little missions done in a week, Tahnok's personality gets deleted... And don't you readers say that it's already been a week, story time flows differently to normal time!"

"Well..." Paarthurnax started, then stopped again. "Hm... Well, we do owe you... That Miraak was killing a large number of us..."

"You'll do it?" Nuhvok exclaimed.

"Not me. Odahviing will."

"I will?"

"It's what you wanted, right?"

"Yes, but..."

"But what?"

"Nothing."

"Are we all agreed then?" Nuhvok butted in.

"Yes."

"Yes."

That strange Bohrok version of a smile reappeared on Nuhvok's face. "Cool. I'll create the portal here, so you guys can keep an eye on it."

"Thank you, Nuhvok!" Odahviing grinned, teeth sticking out everywhere.

"Thank... Wait, how did you know my name?"

"Paarthurnax ranted on for about a day, telling me how much of a moron you sounded like..."

Nuhvok growled, then relaxed. He just wanted to get back now, the snow was making his Krana cold and frigid. Chocolate in the fridge would be a good metaphor. "I'll see you guys later!"]"I don't know. We'll just have to wait for Pahrak and Nuhvok to come back..."

Edited by Phovos, Mar 16 2014 - 06:29 AM.

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#130 Offline Rahkshi Guurahk

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Posted May 11 2013 - 07:45 AM

.. I'm liking Nuvohk's plan.


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#131 Offline Phovos

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Posted May 15 2013 - 01:37 AM

"Oh, you're finally back, Pahrak!" Nuhvok tapped his foot angrily. "I went to a parallel universe and got my job done way before you did, and all you had to do was cook a meal for a bunch of snakes..."

"I'm sorry, but time flows differently in The Rahkshi's Ramblings... I thought I was only gone a day..." Pahrak sighed.

"Enough, you two!" Kohrak interrupted. "Bahrag, we've done what you wanted. Now fix Tahnok!"

The Bahrag stared at Kohrak for a moment, before laughing heartily. They laughed for what seemed like ages before actually saying anything of any use to the current conversation.

"We've already fixed him."

The five Bohrok blinked.

"You have?"

"Then why did you send us on all those silly missions?"

"You MADE ME DESTROY OUR OWN HOME FOR MATA NUI'S SAKE!" Kohrak was shaking with anger. For a Bohrok, that's quite a feat.

Once again, the Bahrag laughed, taking forever to stop and explain themselves.

"Can you stop laughing, please? You're making this entire conversation incredibly awkward..." Nuhvok sighed.

"Sorry, kids..." Cahdok wiped a tear from her eye. "But what we've done is hilarious... At least to us..."

Gahdok grinned evilly. "Shall I tell them or do you want the pleasure?"

"You do it, sister!"

"Well, we just let Tahnok's personality be erased. And then we dumped him in the main universe where your buddy Veekay is from, along with a random Turahk to annoy the heck out of him when he finally wakes up!"

"That's not the best bit though!"

"Oh no, you're all our slaves again! Did any of you read the invisible fine print?"

"What fine print?" Kohrak asked.

"The invisible stuff written in binary at the end of your mission statements!"

"WHAT?" Gahlok exclaimed. "Tahnok's the only one who can read binary! And you put the message in white text so we couldn't see it!"

"Yep. You're our slaves again and there is nothing you can do about it." The Bahrag started laughing again, going on for a whole two minutes before slowly stopping.

"What does this mean for us?" Lehvak asked. "Are we going to be complete and utter mindless slaves or will we still have free will?"

"You'll have free will. But we're going to make your lives a misery. Because you are all morons who failed us and you deserve it."

"Of course we failed! Because you made a mistake and listened to that Makuta who woke you up early!" Kohrak growled. "If you hadn't woken up early, you would have completed your duty and we would have remained asleep!"

The Bahrag both paused, trying to think of a counter argument. But nothing sprung to mind.

"Okay, shut up now, Kohrak..." Gahdok sighed. She clicked her claw, and Kohrak suddenly shut down, collapsing on the floor.

"Hey! Wake Kohrak up!" Nuhvok demanded.

"You want to end up like Kohrak?" Gahdok asked.

"No..."

"Then shut up then."

"Aw..."

Cahdok started grinning again. "Hey, sister, I have an idea..."

"What is it, sister?"

"Let's wake up the Swarms and rain havoc down on everyone..."

"GREAT IDEA!"

Edited by Phovos, Mar 16 2014 - 06:29 AM.

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#132 Offline Phovos

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Posted May 17 2013 - 04:50 AM

"Erm... Where am I?" Tahnok-Kal blinked repeatedly. There was a nice, smoldering crater around him, with sparks of electricity flying around. Everything was dark, but there were things that seemed to glow in the shadows and stuff. Also, he could hear someone coming.

"Whoever that is, if your name is Teekay, I am going to cut out your throat and turn your lungs into a set of bagpipes... So you'd better not be Teekay!" The voice was harsh, with a thick British and it was coming from the being now peering into the crater. "Oh, you're not Teekay at all... Wait..."

Tahnok was about to introduce himself when the creature did it for him. "You're that Tahnok guy, right? One of those crazy friends my brother has?"

"Your brother..? Veekay?"

"Darn. You're a Bohrok. Crazy little gits, aren't you?"

"Not really. You're Veekay's brother? You're a Threavok?"

"The name's Arkay. Nice to meet you."

"Tahnok-Kal. Nice to meet you too."

A different voice entirely interrupted them. "Arkay, do you know what this red Kshan wannabe is?"

Both Tahnok-Kal and Arkay looked around. At the top of the crater was some huge, 3m tall monster, holding a Turahk by the neck.

"That's not a Kshan, whatever that is, that's a Rahkshi..." Tahnok sighed. "The wrong Rahkshi..."

"Oh, hello!" the monster smiled.

"He's a Bohrok, before you get angry..." Arkay pointed out. "So you can put your Staff of Deitic Banishment away."

The other creature didn't move. "Are you sure?"

"He only has two eyes, for Threa's sake."

"Kronospasts can shapeshift."

"If he was a Kronospast, don't you think he would have run away by now?"

"Good point..."

"Can I talk now?"

"No."

"Ignore Tenuk. He's just grumpy."

"I'm grumpy because you and I are stuck here in the Spasm and Retvik and Elksia are probably living a life of luxury."

"You seriously think they're having a good time? They're probably stuck in the Ordera or something..."

Tenuk growled then wandered off, dropping the Turahk on the floor as he did so. The Turahk scurried along the ground and wrapped himself around Tahnok, much to his embarrassment.

"Gah, he's gonna be like that for ages now..." Arkay sighed. "So... Want to come with us?"

Tahnok nodded his head. "Yes, that would be nice..."

"I'll come too..." the Turahk smiled. "Please?"

"Only if Tahnok-Kal says you can..."

"Fine..."

"YAY!"

Edited by Phovos, Mar 16 2014 - 06:29 AM.

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#133 Offline MT Zehvor

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Posted May 18 2013 - 10:31 PM

Sorry I haven't shown up in a while. It's been...way too freaking long. :/

 

Looks like there's a legitimate story going. I like it. Nuhvok's a bit craftier than I gave him credit for, too.

 

Although Teekay is weird...still.

 

KUTGW.

 

-MT


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#134 Offline Phovos

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Posted May 21 2013 - 06:53 AM

Nuhvok growled as he neatly teleported himself into the middle of the town square. He really didn't want to do this, but orders were orders. Stupid Bahrag, making him do things. Stupid everything. And stupid Tahnok for being ill. Stupid, stupid Tahnok! Should have just let his personality be erased. What was the worst that could happen? Oh yeah, this.

"Hey, Matoran! I just thought I'd give you a ten minute warning before I start destroying things. I'm pretty sorry about this. I mean, I like destroying stuff, but on my own terms. The bloody Bahrag are making me be evil for a bit. So I apologise in advance. Okay? Good..." 

With the apology out of the way, Nuhvok sat on top of the fountain in the town square. He was quite sure that no one had paid any attention. Their loss. He did warn them. Maybe, after he'd eaten that sandwich he'd just lifted off the table from a nearby restaurant, he'd make another warning.

Or not, as there seemed to be a large blaze heading his way. No, not one of those freaky creatures from Minecraft, just ye olde average fire, tearing down a nearby street.

"PAHRAK!" Nuhvok shouted, knowing exactly who was behind the fire. "We're not supposed to start for another eight minutes! Bahrag's orders!"

There was no reply. So Nuhvok shouted again. That fire was actually getting pretty close now.

"Pahrak?"

Nope, no reply. Oh well. Nuhvok was bored waiting for those last eight minutes to pass. He decided to investigate. Turns out, it wasn't Pahrak at all, but a dragon. The dragon landed on top of the restaurant where Nuhvok had stolen that (admittedly rather dry) sandwich.

"What do you want?"

Nuhvok sighed. "Did you not get my message?"

"What message?"

"The one in which the Bahrag stated that a dragon can only come out of a portal when they have been ordered to."

"Oh. That one. Sorry, Nuhvok-Kal."

"No worries. Now get back home before I tell on you."

"Tattle-tail."

"Ugly fat dragon."

"Gah..."

With the dragon gone, Nuhvok decided to put out the fire. Otherwise it would have destroyed everything before he'd even gotten started. Compulsory destruction was bad enough, compulsory destruction with nothing to destroy is far worse.

With the fire put out and the dragon gone and Phovos using stupid run-on sentences, Nuhvok wandered what else he could do. After a few moments of thought, he grabbed his mobile phone and turned on the 3G internet connection that Tahnok had got for him. Maybe he'd browse through that Bohrok-Kal's Ramblings thread or something. He paused for a bit, re-reading the last comment, trying to work out who Teekay was. It seems that only this Arkay guy knew who he was. Hopefully this Teekay would come along and kill the Bahrag or something. Or at least annoy Tahnok for a bit.

The alarm went off on his phone. Nuhvok sighed. It was time to destroy things. But there was a Matoran in the way.

"Erm, hi..."

"Hello, Nuhvok."

It was Macku. If Nuhvok had rolled his eyes any harder, he'd be staring at his own Krana. "What do you want?"

"Oh, nothing!"

"Don't lie."

"I just wanted to... HIYAAAAAH!" Macku suddenly bashed Nuhvok on the head with her Kohlii stick.

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR?" Nuhvok shouted, throwing Macku to one side.

"Nothing..."

Nuhvok was about to grab Macku and throw her into space when something occurred to him. "Huh... You know what, that could work!"

And just like that, Nuhvok disappeared.

"Phew, that was close..." Macku sighed.

Edited by Phovos, Mar 16 2014 - 06:30 AM.

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#135 Offline Phovos

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Posted May 27 2013 - 04:58 AM

Guys! Guys! I... What are the Bahrag doing to Pahrak?

He didn't want to fight Pohatu, so the Bahrag are bashing him against the floor until he changes his mind.

Won't that really badly damage him?

Probably. Kohrak's fixing Lehvak's arm. He got his arm crushed by a group of Baterra.

Oh heck! Why?

Bahrag wanted us to get the Baterra to attack Matoran. Basically sent Lehvak on a suicide mission. Instead, he talked them into not attacking Toa or Matoran if they were nearby, as Toa hardly use weapons and bamboo discs can hardly be called weapons now, can they?

Oh... Why did they crush his arm?

Because after he'd made the deal, he explained about what the Bahrag really wanted.

That makes no sense.

Hi, brothers...

You alright, Lehvak?

I'll live. Did you destroy that town square?

No.

They are going to beat the snot out of you.

Not when they hear that I've figured out a loophole in their contract...

WHAAAAT?

Ah, Bahrag. I'm not doing your work any more.

AND WHY NOT?

Because your contract states that all parties must have been aware of signing the contract. Tahnok wasn't aware when the contract was signed.

Tahnok was not part of the contract.

Yes, he was. Our working for you was based on him not being present. Thus he needs to be aware that him not being present means we have to work for you.

That is...

YAY NUHVOK!

Wow, that was really smart!

Thank Macku. She whacked me on the head and...

WE'RE NOT DONE YET!

Aw, I thought we were...

Can you stop smashing me against the floor please?

No.

The contract has been broken, let him go!

No.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

Fine.

Ow... Thank you...

TAHNOK?

Tahnok!

Yay, Tahnok!

Ow... What in Karzhani just happened?

Thank heavens! You're back!

Yeah... What happened? I was in a coma and then I was on this planet with these really cool guys and we were just chatting and suddenly I fell through the floor and ended up here.

While you were gone, the Bahrag tried to make us undo all the nice things we've been doing.

Really? Bahrag, that's really naughty of you!

We're your parents, you do as we say.

We're not your kids. We're not even genetically related. You have no control over us. You lost that control when you left us behind within the remains of Mata Nui.

Oh darn. Sister, he's right.

He is?

We forgot to fix the Abandonment contract.

Dag nabbit.

Wait, is that true?

Yeah.

Since when?

Since when I just said.

Oh, cool.

It's good to see you all again. Where's Kohrak?

Chained up in the lab. Because the Bahrag kept on breaking us.

That sucks. Let's go save him.

Wait, you're all fixed, Tahnok?

Yep.

No changed personality?

Urm... Kinda...

So you're not 100% you.

...

Let's go save Kohrak.

Good idea.

Yay! Together again!

Yay.

Oh, hi guys... TAHNOK!

Kohrak!

Is it all over?

Yep.

No having to kill the Bahrag or anything?

Nope. Everything is sorted out.

I think Phovos kinda copped out and wanted to make her 4000th post a nice, happy one...

I'm so glad.

Me too. Nothing sucks more than a long, drawn out, sad story in a comedy.

Yay...

I'll cut you down.

Thanks, Pahrak...

So, anything else I need to know about, apart from the Bahrag being monsters again?

Er... Yeah...

Bad news, Tahnok... They made us destroy our house...

Aw...

I'm sorry...

It's okay... I'm sure we can find somewhere else, right?

Let's go and have a look!

To the estate agent!

I never thought I'd say this, but yay!

We're all back together!

Yep, and it's glorious!

Indeed!

Ah, it's good to be home...

Edited by Phovos, Mar 16 2014 - 06:30 AM.

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#136 Offline MT Zehvor

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Posted May 27 2013 - 09:25 PM

Macku is...quite the character.

 

Good couple of chappies, Phovos.

 

-MT


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#137 Offline Phovos

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Posted May 28 2013 - 05:17 AM

So, erm, Kohrak, if our house was demolished... Where is all our stuff?

I packed it all into storage.

When?

Tahnok, a load of stuff happened while you were ill.

I wasn't ill, I had a multiple personality disorder.

So how did you fix it?

Did the Bahrag actually do anything?

*shrug* I dunno.

GAAAAASP!

Don't you mean *gasp*?

...

Is Phovos using those things now?

Yeah. Random decision.

Beats writing in prose.

Definitely. But we're still homeless...

Why don't we live inside the container with all our stuff in it?

Not big enough.

Really?

We have a LOT of stuff.

Didn't you have to destroy a lot of stuff too?

Um... Yeah...

Basically, while I was asleep and trapped in another universe, the Bahrag completely and utterly screwed us over, right?

Pretty much.

My head is still ringing from being thrown around.

My arm is still numb.

My foot hurts.

Your foot hurts?

I got run over. Wheels went over my foot.

Can I be honest?

No.

Yes.

Well... We're really outdated, you know.

Couldn't agree more.

You think?

I don't think so. We're the Bohrok-Kal, we're all-powerful!

We got our backsides handed to us by our own parents. I got run over by an Agori battle vehicle. We're not powerful in the slightest.

I guess you have a point. You think we need to be re-dipped in that mutagenic liquid again? Or maybe we need training?

NOT THE MUTAGENIC LIQUID!

Why?

It smells like rotten fish and cat litter trays that have been left outside for too long.

Oh yeah. Ew.

Couldn't get that off us for weeks...

Oh, I remember that. The new leader of the Tahnok swarm refused to speak to me.

Good thing we were put to sleep rather quickly...

Yeah... But still, what can we do?

I have a suggestion, but you won't like it.

What is it?

We, er, go and see the Baterra.

They'll kill us.

Not if I tell them that we're free of the Bahrag's influence.

Eh.

I'd rather not risk it. I've been mentally ill, put to sleep, thrown into a parallel dimension with a random Rahkshi for a week and then fallen through a hole in space-time. I don't want to add "Got my hands chopped off by a Baterra" to that list.

Fair enough, I guess. Having my arm crushed did hurt...

Oh, hiya, Bohrok!

Hi.

Hi!

Hello!

Good afternoon!

Hi.

Oh... Hi... Turahk...

Gah, Turahk, we went over this. No Bohrok or Guurahk will have more of a reason to kill us!

Oh, shush. Turahk, I'd like to say something to you.

Oh? What? Here to hurt me again?

Not at all! I wanted to apologise for the way I acted when I, um, dumped you. I shouldn't have been so harsh. 

I deserved it though, I tried to kill you.

True, but I should have been the better being and have remained kind towards you instead of having a grudge. You weren't in control of your own actions.

Thank you...

Can we go now?

What's your hurry?

Panrahk blew up Guurahk's microwave, we're rushing to buy him a new one.

Good luck with that!

Thanks...

Good luck!

Thanks!

Huh.

That was nice. Glad I sorted that out. I just wish I knew what happened to that other Turahk.

Other Turahk?

The one stuck with me in the other universe. He just disappeared...

Never mind. I'm sure he's fine. He's probably having a party as we speak.

Aw, it's raining.

Eh, I hate rain.

Oddly, I quite like it.

I'll put a little shield over us. 

Thanks, bro.

No worries.

Guys, I have an idea!

Oh?

I'll tell you when we get there!

You can't tell us now?

Follow meeeeee!

Edited by Phovos, Mar 16 2014 - 06:31 AM.

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#138 Offline MT Zehvor

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Posted Jun 02 2013 - 10:57 PM

I went through and noticed the Hubert review earlier...

 

That line out of context...now everyone who comes across this will think that A2 was the weirdest comedy in history. :P

 

Onto the review.

 

Looks like the Bohrok Kal are running into a mid life crisis. Maybe they could go sleep where KK stored all their stuff?

 

Also all these universes and Turahks are confusing.

 

In a good way.

 

-MT


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#139 Offline Dapper-Sama

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Posted Jun 07 2013 - 12:19 PM

How. Did I. Miss. ALL OF THAT!?


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Morally unambiguous.


#140 Offline Phovos

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Posted Jun 10 2013 - 06:44 AM

Pahrak?

Yes?

Do you know where we're going? 

Um...

You can be honest. I won't hit you.

No... I thought I knew but then I got lost...

Thwack.

OW! You hit me!

Tahnok didn't say anything about me hitting you.

Stop it, Nuhvok.

What was your plan, Pahrak?

Um... We stay with Phovos for a bit...

Heck no!

What? Why?

She'd kill us. That's why we don't rush off into these things then get lost like loonies.

Aw. Sadface.

...

Why don't we stay at wherever Kohrak stored our stuff?

No can do. Not enough room.

Darn.

That sucks. You sure?

There's no room. I tried shoving everything in so there was enough room for a bed or something but there's NO ROOM. Can we get out of the bloody rain now please?

I have a giant umbrella here.

I wouldn't recommend it, there's a storm coming.

Oh yeah. So he says, as lightning flickers across the sky.

Yeah, sadly, I don't know how to stop lightning.

Lame.

I'm sorry, guys, I messed up...

This is gonna sound dumb, but why don't we just ask Veekay?

That's a good idea.

Okie!

But we're lost...

No we're not. It's just down there, and then a left, then two rights.

Wait...

What?

Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do!

O... Kay...

That was random.

Yeah.

Let's go, the rain's getting on my nerves.

Last one there's a rotten Kraata!

Don't you mean egg?

I was just trying to make it fit with the Bionicle theme around here...

...

Go!

I'm gonna...

*poof*

*zip*

Darn.

What?

I forgot that Tahnok and Nuhvok can teleport...

Hehe.

So what's been with the slow progress with this story?

Phovos has been busy. Work and stuff. And Skyrim and Team Fortress and stuff. 

Huh. What about those two other games?

What, Saints' Row the Third and League of Legends?

Yeah. Will we be seeing stuff from them at some point?

Probably not!

That's a shame.

Come on, guys! You'll be the rotten Kraata!

Heh.

Edited by Phovos, Mar 16 2014 - 06:35 AM.

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#141 Offline MT Zehvor

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Posted Jun 24 2013 - 08:15 AM

The Bohrok Kal don't do so well with storms...or the fourth wall.

 

Good chappy, Phovos. Now a new one sometime plox.

 

-MT


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#142 Offline Rahkshi Guurahk

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Posted Jun 24 2013 - 11:43 PM

Yes, please write a new chapter.


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-Rahkshi Guurahk
GENERATION 3: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.
If I actually tried putting all the stuff I like on here, the sig would burst.

#143 Offline Radagast367

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Posted Jun 25 2013 - 01:18 AM

Loving this comedy, but the fact that I have never played Team Fortress 2 makes some of the jokes kinda redundant...

Keep posting!


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If you think that godzilla is NOT awesome, you're either crazy,

or one of the many people who got trodden on while he was saving the world.

 

92% of teens have moved onto rap.

If you are part of the 8% that still listen to real music, copy and paste this into your signature

 


#144 Offline Dapper-Sama

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Posted Jul 03 2013 - 08:22 AM

Brilliant job!


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Morally unambiguous.


#145 Offline Phovos

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Posted Mar 16 2014 - 09:28 AM

Good day, everyone. I know it's been a long, long time since I updated this, but I've just now gone through and edited every post so you can read the story properly. And since I'm shamelessly bumping this, I'm going to write a small update on how the Bohrok-Kal are doing. In prose rather than script.

 

...

 

"Hello?" The voice echoed through the desolate house. The entire street was in shambles, but this one in particular was very run down. It appeared to have been struck by lightning a few times. To the left was a small, tattered shack, most of which had been blown away during a storm. To the right, there was nothing but rubble. Shards of glass and concrete littered the pavement.

 

There was no answer to his call, but Kohrak-Kal nonetheless analyzed the echoes of his own cry. Something was alive and moving inside the derelict house. Blatantly ignoring the glass that was stabbing into his mechanical feet, Kohrak stepped inside to investigate.

 

Inside was in much better shape than outside. Wallpaper still lined several walls, and the carpet appeared to have been washed and cleaned, as parts of it were hanging on a make-shift washing line to try. The furniture had been fixed up with rope and molten metal, a clear sign of who was here.

 

"Pahrak?"

 

A ball of silver and brown burst out of the kitchen to greet Kohrak.

 

"Brother! It's been so long!" Pahrak gleamed. His slightly less mechanical parts were warm to the touch. He was in far better shape than Kohrak was. His armour glistened, despite the lack of ambient light. Not that Kohrak noticed. "How are you?"

 

Kohrak sighed and felt around for something to sit on. "Oh, I'm wonderful, Everything is great and happy and oh wow... That was a lie. I'm coping. My eyesight keeps on coming and going and I don't know why. I was going to be all pathetic and pull the joke used in Anchor Man 2 but I don't want to now."

 

Pahrak blinked. "I don't know what Anchor Man is. I thought you were living in the mountains with a tribe of Matoran or something?"

 

"Used to. We got attacked by some sort of large, deaf monster. It killed pretty much everyone, before deciding to use my head as a chew toy. Hence my temperamental vision. Not that it matters. They were all horrible people anyway. They liked to kill and eat strangers. So I decided to get the heck off this planet. I've been living on a desert island since."

 

Pahrak blinked again, unsure how to react. Kohrak sighed. "Have you heard from the others?"

 

At that moment, something sparkled in the dining room. Pahrak jumped up, but Kohrak remained seated, just listening and tipping his head to one side. Another screech of the word "Brother!" informed Kohrak that whoever it was, they were friendly.

 

"Oh my. I'm early. I'm never early!" It was Lehvak-Kal, as bouncy as ever. "Must be some sort of Smissmas miracle! Kohrak, you look awful."

 

"Gee, thanks, remind me of all my suffering, why not?" Kohrak growled.

 

"Sorry to hear that, brother. But for me, things have never been better! I met the most wonderful being. He gave me these cool powers. I'm like a deity now!"

 

Kohrak and Pahrak blinked. Blinking was becoming rather commonplace around here.

 

"So some god came along and gave you special powers?" Kohrak asked.

 

"Pretty much. I'm like his apprentice. I cover for him when he's busy sleeping with whatever he's shapeshifted into this time. Not sure where Levik is right now though, he said he fancied making peace on a world filled with cold, mechanical monsters. His brother said he was the "Captain Kirk of the Kronospasts." I admit I don't get that reference."

 

More blinking from Kohrak and Pahrak was briefly interrupted by the appearance of Gahlok and Nuhvok outside. They were arguing.

 

"I told you they wouldn't be here, Nuhvok. You've spent way too long in that human place before you came to pick me up and look what's happened!"

 

"Shush, Gahlok, they're probably just late!"

 

"You shush! They-oh."

 

Nuhvok and Gahlok paused. Pahrak grinned while Kohrak just sighed again.

 

"So the only person not here is Tahnok?" Gahlok sniffed.

 

"Pretty much, How have you two been? Oh hey, I can see again. I think tipping my head to one side affects my vision."

 

Gahlok pulled up a chair and sat next to Kohrak. He'd had a lot of work done to his body. A lot of work. He looked more like a Baterra than a Bohrok. "That's because I now work as an ambassador between the Baterra and the hostile Spherus Magna races!" Gahlok explained. "Baterra can't talk very well, so I talk for them. I had to get a lot of work done though so I could live with them. I can shapeshift now."

 

"Me too! Levik gave me all these cool god powers and it's been so awesome!" Lehvak exclaimed, raising his hand-shield for a high-five. "What about you, Nuhvok?"

 

Nuhvok tilted his head back and forth, going through the various ways he could answer Lehvak's question. Working as a dish washer and as a shield generator didn't sound as awesome as working with the Baterra or being the side kick to a god. "Um, I went back to that human world. The one where that Medic person was from. The red versus blue one. I'm, um, retired, really. I just help Medic by cooking for the team and making sure the RED humans don't try and break in during the night."

 

Yet more blinking.

 

"Stop blinking, darn it!" Lehvak shouted. "You happy, Nuhvok?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Then you're fine. What about Tahnok?"

 

Everyone stopped blinking and their gaze fell to the floor.

 

"Didn't you hear, Lehvak?" Kohrak whispered.

 

"No?"

 

Gahlok shifted in his chair. Pahrak rubbed his eyes.

 

"Tahnok died. The Toa got him."

 

Lehvak opened his mouth but nothing came out. He tried again. "W-what do you mean?"

 

"When the Toa went evil, he tried to save a village of Matoran by teleporting them into an underground cave system..." Nuhvok spoke slowly, noting the importance of what he was saying. "He managed to teleport 215 Matoran and 20 Rahi... But he failed to teleport himself... All of himself..."

 

"Why do you think I went to the Baterra, why Kohrak went to his island, why Nuhvok left this planet, this universe completely?" Gahlok was also doing that Lehvak-is-dumb-speak-slowly thing. 

 

Everyone fell silent again, trying to take it all in again.

 

"Um, what are you all sulking about?"

 

"TAHNOK?"

 

Tahnok stood in the doorway, grinning with glee. He had an eye missing and his hand-shields didn't match, not to mention the tubes and cuts and scars and dents in his body, but he was still Tahnok.

 

"Explain. Now." Nuhvok hissed.

 

"The Matoran and Rahkshi finished fixing me a couple of months ago. I was scouting the area when I noticed a strange electro-magnetic field and decided to investigate. How dare you have a family reunion without me!"

 

Lehvak, Pahrak and Gahlok all rushed over, glomping Tahnok in a massive tacklehug. After an awkwardly long hug, they finally let go. Everyone sat down while Pahrak fetched a plate of cookies from the kitchen.

 

"So, about those Toa?" Lehvak asked. "What about them? They all still, um, weird?"

 

"Oh yes, the Toa Zombie Cannibal virus is still a thing..." Tahnok paused. "They've killed so many... And to think it all started so suddenly... I mean, look at this place!"

 

"You know what?" Nuhvok's eyes lit up. "I've got an idea."

 

"You have?" Kohrak asked. "That's new."

 

"Hey, wait until I've said it before you judge!" Nuhvok snapped, before calming down. "I think, now we're all back together... I think we have the strength to fight back..."

 

"It's not our fight though..." Kohrak sighed. "Most Matoran don't want out help."

 

"That's not true!" Tahnok butted in. "The Matoran want any help they can get. If you are all willing, that is."

 

"I am!" Gahlok raised his hand.

 

"Me too. Engineer can build his own darn giant shield!" Nuhvok smiled.

 

"Count me in, I'm sick of wandering around the desert making desserts on my own!" Pahrak leaped from his chair, half-chewed cookie falling from his mouth.

 

"I'm stuck here until Levik's done whatever he's doing, so I'm in too!" Lehvak giggled.

 

Tahnok turned to Kohrak. "You in?"

 

"Sure. Shall we head off then?"

 

"Not before I've had a cookie..." Tahnok grinned, glad to have the team back together. "Bloody Bahrag, I've missed you..."


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#146 Offline Purple God

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Posted Mar 20 2014 - 02:40 AM

Nice to see a comedy rise from the ashes.

 

I like the new format. It feels more story-esque compared to the previous one.


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ULPxgev.gif

~Prepare to fight — for, evidently, you have found peace intolerable.~


#147 Offline Phovos

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Posted Mar 20 2014 - 03:46 AM

Oh yes, that's because I'm planning on making it into an actual story.

I honestly thought this section was dead and wasn't planning on posting the next chapter. So I'll post it now.

...
 

The team of Bohrok strode out of the house with grins on their faces. Pahrak spun around, making sure the door was closed behind him. Kohrak gave him a funny look.

 

"You know that's pointless, right? I mean, if anyone wanted to break in, they could just climb through that hole in the wall there..." Kohrak pointed at the giant hole in the wall. Pahrak just shrugged.

 

"I didn't get time to fix that."

 

"It's not even your house!"

 

Pahrak shrugged again. "I was house keeping. Don't want Veekay to come back and find his house in tatters, right?"

 

"Speaking of tatters, Tahnok, you need a makeover."

 

Tahnok ignored Kohrak and quickened his pace. He clearly had an agenda or a plan or something. Nuhvok though seemed to agree with Kohrak and tripped Tahnok up with a well-placed gravitational shield.

 

"What in the name of the Bahrag was that for?" Tahnok spat dirt, then patted his face to make sure his remaining eye was still in place. Thankfully, it was. Lehvak and Kohrak laughed, but Gahlok stood up for his tattered brother.

 

"That wasn't very nice."

 

"But even the narrator considers you to be old and tattered!" Nuhvok exclaimed. "And the narrator knows everything!"

 

"Who is the narrator anyway?" Kohrak asked. "Who is insane enough to throw us into a zombie apocalypse? A Toa-induced one at that!"

 

"It's still Phovos. Which is why I'm still alive and not dead in a gutter..." Tahnok sighed. "Then again, if I'm here just to be the butt of all your jokes, I think a gutter would be a nicer place to be."

 

Nuhvok put an arm around Tahnok. "Don't worry, brother, we'll be nice AND we'll fix you up. Plus, there are no gutters around here for the next twenty seven kilometers. Now, where's the nearest, not-destroyed garage?"

 

"Back at base."

 

"All your base are belong to us!" Lehvak suddenly blurted. Everyone glared at him with way too much malice in mind. Lehvak quickly apologised.

 

"Don't worry, we'll forget you said that."

 

Lehvak bowed and slithered to the back of the group.

 

"So, where are we going?" Gahlok asked.

 

"I'm just following Tahnok!" Pahrak admitted.

 

"Does Tahnok know where he's going?" Gahlok asked again.

 

"I assume so. Are we doing the Dirk Gentley form of navigation?"

 

Nuhvok and Gahlok stopped in their tracks and stared at Pahrak. "What?"

 

"You know, following someone who looks like they know where they are going. You don't always end up where you intended to go, but you end up somewhere you wanted to go."

 

"What?"

 

Thankfully, Tahnok was around to save the day. "Pahrak, I doubt the others have read anything by Douglas Adams, let alone the Long Dark Tea Time of the Soul. I've got a copy at the base though if anyone's interested."

 

Pahrak grinned and sped up, giving himself small speed boosts with bursts of fiery plasma. "I recommend it."

 

Nuhvok was about to ask Tahnok where he'd gotten such a book from, but remembered that none of this made any sense anyway and that they'd broken the fourth wall on so many occasions, there were only a couple of bricks left. Instead he asked where Tahnok got the time to read books while protecting Matoran from flesh-eating Toa.

 

"I spent a couple of weeks controlling a small Rahi as my body was being repaired. I read so many books."

 

"Can I be honest? They didn't really do a good job on you."

 

"That's because I'm not done yet."

 

Nuhvok rolled his eyes. "You said you were finished in the last chapter."

 

"Well, almost finished. You can't rush something like rebuilding a Bohrok."

 

"Why didn't you just say that then?"

 

"Because you guys never ever listen to me."

 

"Good point."

 

Tahnok skipped a couple of times, as if he had spotted something. He leaped over to a manhole (Matoran-hole?) cover and lifted it up.

 

"Ew, your base is in the sewers?" Gahlok groaned.

 

"It's that exact reaction that has stopped us from being repeatedly attacked and eaten by Toa..." Tahnok explained. "But the sewers are perfectly clean and tidy. Matoran don't even go to the bathroom. It's just for rain water. Anyway, who's first?"

 

Pahrak was first. He jumped down the manhole without a care in the world. Nuhvok and Kohrak both hesitated then jumped down, then Lehvak followed. Gahlok had to be pushed. Once everyone else was down, Tahnok replaced the manhole cover and teleported himself down. He then silently led his brothers north, down a couple of tunnels. Eventually, everything opened up to reveal a large chamber filled with all sorts of goodies.

 

"Wow, you have an entire city down here!" Lehvak exclaimed.

 

"More like a village..." Tahnok sighed.

 

"Eh, close enough."

 

Nuhvok surveyed the area, doing that annoying thing of putting his arm around Tahnok again. "Nice place. Now let's get you fixed up!"


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#148 Offline Rahkshi Guurahk

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Posted Mar 20 2014 - 07:47 AM

Nice to see this back!

Write more Phovos. :P


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-Rahkshi Guurahk
GENERATION 3: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.
If I actually tried putting all the stuff I like on here, the sig would burst.

#149 Offline Phovos

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Posted Mar 21 2014 - 08:52 AM

Lehvak, Gahlok, Pahrak and Kohrak sat on the small, creaky bench outside the garage, twiddling their hand shields, waiting patiently. Occasionally, a Matoran would peer around the corner, squeak in shock then run away. After the fifth incidence of this, Lehvak snapped, jumped to his feet and chased after the Matoran in question.

 

"That was... rather out of character..." Kohrak stopped twiddling his hand shields to scratch his head. "Wonder what made him do that?"

 

"Five years of insanity?" Pahrak suggested. "That's how long we've been together. We've all snapped a couple of times."

 

Kohrak snorted. "Has it really been that long?"

 

"On and off, yes."

 

"Bloody Bahrag."

 

Gahlok suddenly lit up. "What happened to the Bahrag?"

 

Pahrak and Kohrak both shrugged. "No idea. Good riddance though. All they've done is cause us misery."

 

"They also gave us sentience."

 

"They didn't, the mutagenic liquid they threw us into did that."

 

Gahlok didn't respond, instead he decided to stare blankly ahead at the wall, then changed his mind and stared at the corner where Lehvak had disappeared.

 

"When is he going to come back?"

 

Pahrak and Kohrak shrugged again. Behind the closed doors of the garage, they could hear increasingly raised voices. Surprisingly, it wasn't Nuhvok arguing with Tahnok, it was Nuhvok and Tahnok arguing with a Matoran. Something along the lines of "Bohrok aren't alive but that doesn't mean you can poke around wherever you want!" Kohrak shuddered but Pahrak disregarded the entire conversation and decided to go see what Gahlok was staring at. He rounded the corner, only to bump into Lehvak and a familiar face.

 

"Oops, sorry! Oh, hello, Macku! You're alive!" Pahrak put on a happy face.

 

"Of course. Out of spite though. There I was, thinking that Hewkii wanted to marry me, turns out he just wanted to eat me. A-"

 

Lehvak quickly covered her mouth. "Macku, you forget where we are."

 

Pahrak blinked, a skill he was becoming exceptionally good at. "Tahnok's not done yet."

 

"I noticed."

 

"Are the six of you alive out of spite too?"

 

Another couple of blinks. "I don't follow. I'm not alive at all, am I?" Pahrak was slow on the uptake again. Lehvak just rolled his eyes.

 

"Don't worry about it. Macku's promised us a tour around the place."

 

"That's nice!"

 

"We also need someone to generate electricity. Whenever Tahnok goes out, we end up putting Rahkshi in the treadmills."

 

Gahlok finally stopped staring blankly at the corner, realising that there was someone there worth talking to. "I could help."

 

"Really?"

 

"Yes. I can generate power."

 

"Your element is magnetism."

 

"Magnetism and electricity are two sides of the same coin."

 

"Oh."

 

Not wanting to argue, Macku took Gahlok's word for it, just as the garage door opened. Nuhvok stood in the entrance. Tahnok stood next to him, with a sheet over his head.

 

"Ladies and gentlebots, I present to you, Tahnok!"

 

"You are so lucky I'm in a good mood..." Tahnok muttered as Nuhvok pulled the sheet off his head, revealing him to his brothers.


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#150 Offline Phovos

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Posted Mar 24 2014 - 11:28 AM

In the sky above, the sun was shining happily, soaking the ground in its glorious rays. The few remaining trees shook their leaves in the gentle breeze and the few remaining birds chirped, blissfully unaware of what was going on underground. Probably for the best, really.

 

"So, most of us live here. We all have our own little houses. Mine's the nice one over there with the pretty vines and weeds and stuff. Over there is the bonfire where I burn all of Hewkii's stuff. Over there is..."

 

Macku led the five Bohrok-Kal around the small, underground sewer town, while Tahnok disappeared to spend twenty minutes generating some electricity for the place. Her voice was dull and monotonous, oozing with hatred, no matter how much Lehvak smiled and tried to reassure her that things would improve. After wandering through what felt like an eternity of Macku saying which house was which, they made it to the center of the town, where the corpse of a Toa was proudly being displayed.

 

"Okay, I'm all for killing Toa, but that's just nasty..." Kohrak tutted.

 

Gahlok nodded in agreement. "At least bury the poor guy..."

 

Lehvak though, in an attempt to make Macku love him again, possibly, disagreed. "He's a trophy. Everyone loves trophies, right?"

 

"I like my trophies to be magnetic, not made out of nasty stuff and bits of dead Toa."

 

"Well, maybe you're just fussy."

 

Pahrak was eerily silent on the issue. He just stared blankly at the dead Toa, before coming to a really nasty conclusion. He wasn't brave enough to ask Macku though, not without Lehvak getting aggressive. He was worse than Tahnok, Gahlok and himself combined when it came to romance.

 

"He's worse than Tahnok, Gahlok and myself combined when it comes to romance... Did I just say that out loud?"

 

Lehvak glared at Pahrak but didn't say anything. He simply followed Macku, who had wandered off to somewhere else where there was lots of banging and crashing. Macku rushed off to a large, grey building, the source of the noise. She threw open the large doors to reveal a workshop of angry, weapon-making Matoran.

 

"Hafu, we've got company."

 

"..."

 

"Don't you go all Kopeke on me."

 

"Sorry. More Bohrok? I was hoping you'd find a couple of Rahkshi or a Skakdi or a Makuta or something."

 

Nuhvok scowled and crossed his arms. Well, almost. Everyone knows that crossing arms is almost impossible for a Bohrok. Other impossible tasks include clapping and scratching one's left leg while one's left hand is occupied. "We're Bohrok-Kal."

 

"Can you stop a team of Toa by thinking about it?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Alright then."

 

Kohrak tutted again. "A Rahkshi or a Skakdi wouldn't be able to do that."

 

Hafu glanced at Kohrak and ignored his comment, deciding that his time would be better spent hammering out a large piece of metal into a vague, shield-like shape. Macku slinked over to Hafu, whispering something about making a something special for her darling Lehvy-poo.

 

"I don't know what you see in it..." was Hafu's response. Lehvak's response was to create a small explosion in Hafu's stomach to give him tummy ache.

 

Suddenly, everything shook.

 

"Nuhvok, did you do something?" Gahlok asked.

 

"Why did you automatically blame me?"

 

"Eh. You make a nice scaperahi."

 

"Scapegoat."

 

"This is the Bionicle universe, ######!"

 

"Guys!" Pahrak butted in. "We've got a crisis, we don't need to be arguing right now... Wait, what was that?"

 

The Matoran in the workshop had all put on whatever weaponry and armour they were making. Macku grabbed the first weapon she could lay her hands on.

 

"Everyone to battle stations! This is not a drill!"

 

Tahnok teleported into view. "They're coming in from the east. I've sealed off the tunnel, but it never lasts. If only we could take them out in one go..." He quickly glanced at Nuhvok, Pahrak and Gahlok, then at Lehvak. "Um, are you two back together?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Okay then."

 

Tahnok teleported off again, muttering something about "releasing the Vahki" and so did all the Matoran. They'd barricaded themselves inside their homes. Well, everyone apart from Macku, who was now sitting on Lehvak's head for some odd reason that doesn't make sense, but that doesn't matter because this is a 5 year old comedy and really, a Matoran sitting on a Bohrok's head is by far not one of the strangest things around here. In fact, that run-on sentence was probably even more strange.

 

"Do you think Tahnok was suggesting something just now?" Pahrak asked.

 

"What do you mean?" Gahlok replied with a question.

 

"What, when Tahnok was saying stuff? Wasn't listening..." Nuhvok admitted.

 

While Pahrak, Gahlok and Nuhvok discussed what Tahnok meant, Kohrak was fuming. He'd hoped that maybe one of these nincompoops would take the hint, but no, he was going to have to shout.

 

"HE MEANT ONE OF YOU LOT JUST GOING AND KILLING ALL THE TOA IN ONE GO WITH YOUR ALMIGHTY BOHROK-KAL POWERS!"

 

"Oh."

 

The three Bohrok paused.

 

"He could have said so!" Nuhvok sighed as he flicked his wrist. About 700m away, 20 Toa were crushed to death by a miniature black hole.


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#151 Offline Phovos

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Posted Mar 27 2014 - 06:40 AM

Hafu stomped up the small, wet road to where all the crushed Toa lay, with Tahnok and a random Rahkshi or three in tow.

 

"See, I told you they'd be an asset!"

 

"Can it, Bohrok. They created a mess."

 

Tahnok blinked. "How is Nuhvok single-handedly defeating a team of Hordika scouters a bad thing?"

 

"I've got to clear it up."

 

"I can get Nuhvok to create another black hole and suck them all away. Or I can get Pahrak to melt them down for fat and metal. Or I can get Kohrak to somehow disintegrate them. Or I can get Lehvak to turn them into a bloody firework display... Need I go on?"

 

Hafu snorted and crossed his arms. "I don't like them."

 

"I know you don't like us. We're Bohrok. You naturally fear us. But we're on your side. Plus, Pahrak makes really nice cookies."

 

"He does?" Hafu's eyes lit up briefly. "Shame we don't have any butter. Or any sort of fat."

 

Tahnok prodded one of the dead Toa. "You could strip out the organic parts of these Toa and use that as fat."

 

"WHAT?"

 

"Hey, they've been killing and eating Matoran for what, a couple of years now? Get your own back on them."

 

Hafu grunted. He thought Tahnok was kidding. Tahnok was in fact being perfectly serious. It took Hafu a second to realise this.

 

"Um, Tahnok, we don't want to fall to their levels. Plus, aren't you guys actually Matoran too?"

 

Tahnok immediately shook his head. "Oh no. Since this is a parallel universe and totally non-canon, we took the liberty of making sure that, while Krana and Kanohi were created from the same source, the idea that Av-Matoran turn into Bohrok is not a thing here."

 

"So what about that bit where Gahlok and Pahrak were Matoran for a bit?"

 

"Nuhvok knows a very good magician called Merasmus."

 

"Oh."

 

Hafu fell silent. The Rahkshi, who had all been standing in silence, decided to take a nibble out of one of the Toa. They'd been trying to train Rahkshi to eat Toa for months, but only recently had they gotten anywhere. Suddenly, Pahrak appeared, happy to break the silence.

 

"Tahnok Tahnok Tahnok Tahnok!"

 

"What?" Tahnok sighed.

 

"That statue in the middle of the town... I know who that is!"

 

"It's Hewkii."

 

Pahrak's worried face turned into a frown. "Aw, couldn't you have let me reveal that?"

 

"I already know. Macku's an utter nutjob now."

 

"Really?"

 

"Yes!" Hafu explained. "She's utterly insane. She's killed so many Toa on her own, with really nasty traps. She was so angry when the Toa Mahri got themselves infected that she made it her personal quest to kill them all."

 

"Bloody Bahrag, and Lehvak wants to date her again?"

 

"They're the almost perfect couple... Hey, Pahrak, how do you feel about melting down Toa into fat to make into cookies?"

 

Pahrak scratched his head. "Can you do that?"

 

"Yes. I think."

 

"Well... Waste not, want not, right?" With that, Pahrak grabbed one of the dead Toa and started dragging it away, a couple of the Rahkshi following him, presumably because they like the smell of cooked flesh. The last Rahkshi stuck around, following Hafu like a bad smell.

 

"So..." Hafu changed his tone into a far more serious one. He also pulled a monocle out of a non-existent pocket and put it on, just to note how serious he had become. "We need to fix this. The Toa will mount a full scale attack on us if we don't leave here, and as they've found a way to copy themselves, which we haven't, we'll eventually lose. And don't mention teleporting everyone out of here, Tahnok, you're one of the most powerful allies we have and we don't want to find half of you again."

 

Tahnok glanced at his newly repaired body, nodding in agreement. Hafu also nodded and continued.

 

"Basically, your brothers have come back at the perfect time. With them and the others, we can do it."

 

"You're not thinking about..."

 

"Yep."

 

"Bloody Bahrag..."


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#152 Offline Phovos

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Posted Apr 02 2014 - 10:31 AM

This building was not like the small, badly-made shacks that made up most of the town. It was originally a sewer maintenance building and it had recently been turned into the town hall, with Vahki patrolling every square millimeter of space around it. There were also a good thirty or so Vahki on the roof of the building, just to be on the safe side. Occasionally one would fall off and scare a couple of passing Matoran. That's where Hafu was leading everyone's favourite silver-armoured Bohrok.
 
Inside was one room with a table in the middle. In the middle of the table was a box. In the middle of the box that was in the middle of the table was a mask, but its contents were obscured by the box's frosted golden glass. If Kohrak-Kal had eyebrows, he probably would have raised one of them at the sight of that previous sentence.
 
"So, what are we doing here?" Kohrak broke the silence and the needlessly long sentences. "And why did we leave Pahrak, Nuhvok, Gahlok and Lehvak with the dead Toa? You just invited me..."
 
"You're the only one who's not utterly insane..." Tahnok replied, before taking a seat at the table. Kohrak noticed that he was shaking ever so slightly. Something was up. Hafu frowned and pulled up a chair, sitting down opposite Tahnok. Hafu's chair was much bigger than Tahnok's one. Kohrak sighed and sat down next to his brother.
 
"We're waiting for someone then?" Kohrak was full of questions, none of which were being answered. This was a normal situation around here, as Hafu hated questions.

"Just shut up and be patient."

"No need to be sharp, Hafu!" Tahnok tutted. "There's other people with an interest in looking after the Matoran and the Agori. Or at least an interest in defeating the Toa hordes. I always forget about the Agori."

Kohrak tried to cross his arms, then tried to put his arms in a somewhat natural position, growled then gave up. "That's because the Bionicle saga ended in 2010 and there was not enough time to develop any of them into characters like Kopaka and Tahu... What happened to those guys anyway?"

Tahnok wanted to answer but Hafu did that "Shut the heck up!" gesture. They'd arrived. Of course, Kohrak had noticed them about five minutes ago due to his ultra sensitive hearing, but he hadn't mentioned it. Tahnok was shaking slightly again, and now Kohrak knew why.

The two Makuta walked in and sat adjacent to the Bohrok and Hafu, at opposite ends of the table. One was rather reptilian with black and green armour, the other was Turahk. He'd grown up into a fine-looking lord of shadow. And fear. Let's not forget the fear nbit. After the two Makuta were a bunch of other beings. One was a Skakdi that looked like he'd fallen on hard times, the other was quite clearly Axonn. Behind them stood Brutaka, wearing a mask that clearly wasn't his Olmak and a lone Matoran.

"Dekar, good to see you again!" Hafu finally smiled. Dekar waved, shook Hafu's hand and sat down next to him. Axonn and Brutaka sat either side of Turahk and the Skakdi plonked himself next to Kohrak.

"Fresh meat?" the black and green Makuta hissed.

Hafu leaped to his feet, up his chair and onto the table. "Yes, Nidhiki, fresh meat..." He waited a moment for everyone to take in the fact that I hadn't made Nidhiki into a Raptor like I normally do, then sighed and continued. "Finally, after months of having only one old, broken lunatic of a Bohrok here, we now have the whole team, particularly the powerful ones."

Once again, Tahnok opened his mouth to protest but Hafu was having none of it.

"And now that we've got a bunch of sentient, non-organic beings that aren't dumb like Rahkshi or single-minded like Vahki, we can start our plan!"

"What, your stupid plan?" The Skakdi was not amused. Probably because Turahk was taking up way too much space with his large, red and black wings.

"It's not stupid!"

"It is."

"Is not!"

The squabble was ended by Brutaka slamming his fist on the table. "You have a better one, Vezok? Then shut up."

Vezok promptly shut his mouth.

"So, what is the plan?" Kohrak asked, finally moving things along.

Hafu leaped off the table, via Tahnok's head and walked around back to his chair. He knew he was going to get a nasty shock later, literally, but teasing Tahnok was one of the few things Hafu enjoyed these days. In Hafu's place stood Axonn, holding a large map which he dutifully laid across the table so everyone apart from Hafu could see.

"The Toa have done the dirty. They've infected the Glatorian, who are far more numerous than we expected, and worst of all, they've worked out how to reproduce."

There was no gasp of horror like Axonn expected, so he continued.

"Based on the results obtained by Tahnok and Turahk in their surface expeditions, as well as sheer body count figures that Nidhiki has gladly brought us, we estimate that there's millions of them, most of them nameless. The only reason they haven't stampeded through here is because they're too busy trying to siege New Ta-Koro, where there's lot of food and warmth. The Glatorians and Toa seem to require lots of heat as well as the flesh of Agori and Matoran.

"The plan is actually quite simple, but because of the hostile nature of the Toa hordes and the fact that Rahkshi are bloody useless with Makuta Teridax gone... no offense, Turahk... we need beings that don't breathe. The nature of this journey is unpredictable and we simply cannot risk sending Matoran or Agori or, well, anything alive on this trip."


Kohrak was about to blink but didn't, fearing having to hear about that joke about blinking again. "So basically you want us Bohrok-Kal to go to other dimensions and call for allies to build an army?"

"Pretty much."

"And you don't want us to awaken the swarms or anything?"

"Not until you get back. Your swarms are the last piece of the puzzle, just in case..."

Nidhiki hissed. "Your optimism. We won't be able to cure most of them."

"It's worth trying to cure some of them..." Axonn countered.

"They'll hate themselves for what they've done..."

"Whatever." Axonn bluntly ended the discussion and turned to face Tahnok and Kohrak. "Can your team do this?"

Kohrak glanced at Tahnok, then at Axonn, then back at Tahnok. "I see why you wanted me in on this."

"Well, I wanted a second opinion."

"You also don't want to get any Bohrok needlessly injured."

"That too."

Kohrak scratched his head, momentarily lost in thought. "Eh, it's worth a shot, right?"

"Good!" Brutaka stood up suddenly and grabbed the box from the middle of the table, thrusting it into Kohrak's arms. "Gather your brothers. Training in how to use the Olmak starts in 20 minutes."

"You mean in the next chapter..." Nidhiki sighed.

Brutaka ignored him and led the two Bohrok-Kal outside, grinning slightly too much.
 


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#153 Offline Phovos

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Posted Apr 08 2014 - 07:18 AM

Brutaka seemed very bouncy for a person who could no longer wear his precious mask and was now much weaker than normal, but the fact that they'd found a bunch of beings gullible enough to take part on this mission so they could finally defeat the Toa hordes filled him with joy. The two Bohrok-Kal tiptoed behind him, worried that Brutaka may fall over and crush them both.

The other Kal were waiting outside. Pahrak was holding a plate of cookies, repeatedly asking himself why he'd not thought of them before. Lehvak and Nuhvok were quite happily eating them but Gahlok just stood there in disgust.

"What's wrong?" Kohrak asked.

"They're eating cookies made from Toa oil and fat!" Gahlok wailed.

Kohrak glanced at Tahnok then shrugged. "At least they're not eating Matoran or Agori."

Brutaka though stopped in his tracks, dropping the golden box. He stared at Pahrak and his plate of cookies. A large array of looks stumbled across his face as he tried to work out how he should feel about this. After a full 120 seconds, Brutaka took a cookie and took a bite out of it. "Not bad. Could do with some salt though."

"I didn't have any."

"Where did you get the flour, sugar and chocolate chips from then?"

"Nuhvok had some in his pocket."

"Oh... Anyway, moving on, I'm going to teach you all how to use this!" Brutaka opened the box, revealing a tattered old Olmak. He handed it to Tahnok, who clearly didn't know what to do with it. So he asked, like any sensible Bohrok would.

"How do I use this then?"

Brutaka snatched back the Olmak for some odd reason, possibly just to confuse Tahnok. "Well, it's quite simple. You put it on and concentrate on an empty space, trying to work out where you want to go. You need to count to seven, close your eyes and concentrate super hard and a portal will open."

"And then?" Lehvak asked.

"Then, you have to go through the portal, but you need to check that there's ground on the other side. You don't want to fall into empty space if you can't fly."

"And then?" Nuhvok giggled.

"After that, you need to check you're not going to be crushed. I recommend holding hands as one of you passes through. The most important thing to note is that the person with the Olmak is the last person to go through, otherwise the portal will close and someone will be left behind."

"And then?" Lehvak grinned.

"Well, next, you need to make sure that the portal closes after you've passed through, because you don't want any nasty monsters coming through or anything, right?"

"And then?" Nuhvok was still giggling.

"And that's it."

"And then?"

"Um..."

"And the-OW! What was that for, Tahnok?" Nuhvok picked himself up after having just been punched in the face by his brother.

"That is so annoying and this is important!" Tahnok snapped.

"It was just a j-*" Nuhvok's voice disappeared mid-sentence. Kohrak flicked a smile at his siblings.

"I turned off his voice for a bit. Now, who's going to be holding that Olmak? And where are we going first?"

"I was wondering about that. Pahrak, do you know where Veekay lives?" Tahnok asked. "He seemed like a friendly chap, always willing to help."

"I think so, I'm not completely sure. His kind lived underground apparently. I guess Veekay would help though..."

Nuhvok was frantically waving his arms around but no one paid him any attention. Brutaka handed Kohrak the Olmak, deciding that he was probably the sanest of the bunch. Kohrak glanced at it then handed the Kanohi to Tahnok. He didn't trust himself.

"Why not?"

"I keep my insanity bottled up, waiting to explode."

"Fair enough. So, shall we head off?" Tahnok asked, thrusting the Kanohi back into Kohrak's hands. Kohrak considered giving Tahnok back the mask but changed his mind. Maybe they were right, maybe he WAS the right being for the job? A cloud of gloom suddenly appeared in Kohrak's thoughts. The last being to be given a fancy powerful mask sacrificed himself to save the universe.

"I just remembered Veekay's address!" Pahrak exclaimed. "House 75, Blackflan road, Lemesa district, Thre-Sypria, planet Threa!"

"Well alright then!" Kohrak stroked the Olmak then concentrated very hard, doing just as Brutaka had told them. A small portal opened up. Tahnok and Gahlok grabbed Pahrak's hand as he skipped through the portal to survey the surroundings.

"It doesn't look the same, but it smells like the right place..."

Tahnok and Gahlok glanced at each other as Lehvak and Nuhvok jumped through the portal after Pahrak, before following. Kohrak shrugged. "We'll have a look around..."
 


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#154 Offline Phovos

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Posted Apr 14 2014 - 03:43 AM

The portal closed behind Kohrak, making a small squeaking noise that only he could hear. Glancing around, he realised that none of this was what he expected. His brothers seemed equally confused.

"Pahrak, this doesn't seem like a city!" Nuhvok pointed out.

"We noticed, Obvious-Kal..." Tahnok tutted. "Something must have happened. Maybe we're at the wrong time or something?"

Pahrak wasn't listening. He was looking at the remains of a street sign. The sign said "Blackflan Road" but it was lying on the ground, being of no use to anyone. The street and a good couple of kilometers in every direction was nothing more than tatters and rubble, apart from a single, lone ice cream cart. That was it. Lehvak had wandered over to take a look, but came back holding his tongue.

"Out of date."

Suddenly, something exploded. Everyone glanced at Lehvak but realized he hadn't done anything yet. It was coming from one of the houses that still had a door but little else. Gahlok and Pahrak skipped over, curious.

What was left was the door frame. The door was actually on the ground. The foundations were still partially there but that was it. The number on the door frame, just above the remains of the doorbell, read "75". Lying on the ground just inside were two vaguely familiar creatures.

"Veekay!" Pahrak beamed. "You're alive!"

The look on Veekay's face wasn't as bright and shiny as Pahrak's. "Um, what are you doing here? I thought you guys lived in that Bionicle place."

"We do! What happened here?"

The other creature sat up looking fairly annoyed. "You told me we'd be alone here."

"There's normally not a single soul here. It's been nothing more than rubble for years!"

Pahrak scratched his head. So did the other Bohrok.

"This is your house?" Lehvak squeaked.

"Used to be. The Rethavok attacked the city in 2003 and reduced most of it to rubble. I like to come back and sit and sulk occasionally. Good place to be alone..." Veekay sniffed as he spoke. The disaster still clearly upset him.

"Good place to bring a girlfriend too, methinks!" Nuhvok grinned. Then he realized that no one else was grinning so he stopped. Veekay sighed and introduced his friend.

"This is Envee. He's one of the V-Class Ksa from Thre-Vretania. We've been, um, friends for a while. What are you Bohrok doing here? And why is Kohrak holding that shiny mask thing?"

Kohrak coughed, ready to explain, but Pahrak jumped in. "We're looking for help to stop a Toa zombie apocalypse! But we don't have a lot of non-infected super beings left so Brutaka gave us this cool mask of inter-dimensional travel and now we're jumping around the multiverse asking people!"

Veekay blinked with confusion. Envee was equally confused.

"So why us?" Envee asked.

"You have elemental powers..." Kohrak sighed. "Plus, it was the first place we thought of. You mentioned you had a team of fellow elementally powered... Threavok? Is that right?"

"Everyone has elemental powers now. Apart from my brother. But I'm not the right person to speak to about this. Do you want us to take you to the capital to speak to the Thre-Dre?" At least Veekay was being helpful, Kohrak noted.

"I thought you were ruled by other Threavok Ksa?" Pahrak asked.

"Oh, no, we had a bit of a revolution back in November. We have a proper democracy now!" Veekay smiled. "Means I have a lot more free time! Envee, got enough juice to teleport us all?"

Envee pulled a carton of juice out of his backpack. He inspected it before taking a sip. "Yep. Everyone hold hands and we'll be on our way..."

Kohrak was about to suggest using the Olmak to get there, but that squeak he heard earlier had unnerved him a bit. As everyone held hands, Envee counted to ten then growled.

Suddenly, they were in what looked like an actual city, standing in front of a large building. Above the entrance was a large sign.

"Welcome to the Dre Council Building."


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#155 Offline Rahkshi Guurahk

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Posted Apr 14 2014 - 07:14 PM

15 hours, 30 minutes, I want a chapter now . :P


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-Rahkshi Guurahk
GENERATION 3: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.
If I actually tried putting all the stuff I like on here, the sig would burst.

#156 Offline Phovos

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Posted Apr 15 2014 - 07:14 AM

I don't do daily chapters any more. It takes longer to write and format these new chapters because there's a real plot now. Also, I have work.


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#157 Offline Rahkshi Guurahk

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Posted Apr 15 2014 - 07:42 AM

Oh. Well that shows I don't look at when these are posted. :P


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-Rahkshi Guurahk
GENERATION 3: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.
If I actually tried putting all the stuff I like on here, the sig would burst.

#158 Offline Phovos

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Posted Apr 15 2014 - 08:57 AM

It's alright. I'm also doing other things like a tumblr blog now, complete with art.


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#159 Offline Rahkshi Guurahk

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Posted Apr 17 2014 - 07:51 AM

Can you post or PM me a link?

Thanks.


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-Rahkshi Guurahk
GENERATION 3: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.
If I actually tried putting all the stuff I like on here, the sig would burst.

#160 Offline Phovos

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Posted Apr 17 2014 - 12:28 PM

"What, like a link or something?" Nuhvok-Kal asked the narrator. The Narrator tutted and rolled his eyes, then continued with the story. Ahead of our favourite Bohrok friends and the two Threavok that we introduced in the last chapter stood a grand, golden building, oddly encrusted in gems, some of which were glowing. Envee smiled then passed out.

 

"Oh dear, that looked like a bit too much strain. Envee's not the best teleporter around here..." Veekay sighed, picking up his friend and throwing him over his shoulder.

 

Around them, Threavok were stopping what they were doing to take a look, before scratching their heads and continuing on their way, too shy to ask what on Threa was going on. Threavok have always been shy. A black, and blue Threavok walked by and finally asked what's going on.

 

"Veekay, what are those things? Are they Bohrok? I'd ask why they're here, but if they're looking for citizenship, I suppose here is the best place to start. Oh and did Envee over-extend his teleportation skills again?"

 

Veekay nodded. "Yes, sir. Um, Bohrok-Kal, this is Aress, leader of the S-Class Ksa. Aress, these are the Bohrok-Kal."

 

"Nice to meet you, are you in charge around here?" Tahnok got straight to the point.

 

"Nope."

 

"Oh." Tahnok's face wold have dropped if he had proper facial expressions. "Who should we speak to?"

 

"Depends on what you need!" Aress crossed his arms. On closer inspection, his armor had faint yellow streaks on it. "I can get a lot of things, I just need to know where to start."

 

"So you're like Kohrak!" Pahrak jumped up excitedly. "He can find anything with his echolocation."

 

"Not quite everything."

 

"Mostly everything."

 

"Eh."

 

Aress briefly smiled but kept his arms crossed. "A fellow elemental of sound, eh?"

 

Kohrak shrugged. "I've always called it sonics, but I guess so."

 

"Oh good. A dying breed, us sound elementals. Always getting replaced by boring elements like fire and gravity. But when they need something found, they always come crying back to me. Us. So what do you need?" The question seemed to be aimed directly at Kohrak, as Ares lost all interest in the other Kal. Tahnok prodded Veekay and asked if he was always like this.

 

"Yeah. He's a but funny. But he taught me and my team, so I respect him."

 

Kohrak hesitated. "Well, where we're from, there's kinda a bit of a zombie apocalypse. A zombie Toa apocalypse. We were sent here to find help, both on an army front and a medical front maybe."

 

Aress glanced at Veekay, who was still carrying Envee. "What's a Toa?"

 

"You heard of those LEGO toys? The ones that Teekay likes?"

 

"How on Threa am I supposed to know that your half-brother plays with a particular brand of toy? He's thirty two!"

 

"Teekay's insane."

 

"Good point. Does he still think he's a Raptor?"

 

"No. He got over that."

 

"Same way you got over your stupid fake semi-British-semi-Australian accent?"

 

Veekay refused to answer that one. It was a valid point, but it made him seem like an idiot. Then again, it did get him nominated for a Best Background Character award. While the two Threavok argued, Kohrak and Tahnok agreed that they ought to explain.

 

"They're basically humanoid beings with elemental powers and now they're zombies and they're taking over."

 

"Hm. So you need an army?"

 

"And medical stuff."

 

"And maybe food."

 

"Materials."

 

"Weapons."

 

"Glue."

 

"Friends."

 

"And help finding a cure..." Tahnok brought everyone back on track. Aress nodded and spun around, heading towards the building, suggesting they follow. They basically walked straight through, to a desk. At it sat a black and purple armoured Threavok, who appeared to be chained to his desk. Turns out, he was. He snarled at Veekay then turned his attention to Aress and the Bohrok.

 

"How may I help you?"

 

"We'd like to speak to the Thre-Dre please, Psivee-En."

 

"Do you have an appointment?"

 

"Well, I do. They can come in with me."

 

Psivee-En snarled again and pointed to a staircase to their left. Aress led them up it and Nuhvok noticed that there appeared to be emeralds embedded in the banisters. After a couple of flights of stairs, which left most of the Bohrok huffing and puffing and cursing their tiny legs, they made it to the top floor. This floor was essentially one giant office with a view of the whole city. Amazingly, Veekay, who had carried Envee all the way up, wasn't even close to being out of breath.

 

"Kayelar, sir?"

 

In the middle of the room was a lone desk and a chair, the sort an evil mastermind would have. As Veekay spoke, the chair spun around, revealing Kayelar, the Thre-Dre, the leader of the Threavok... Who seemed to wear less armour than any of the other Threavok in the room. Kayelar got up, leaped across the table and shook Veekay's hand, nearly making him drop Envee on the floor.

 

"Ah, m'mate, good t'see you again! An'what're these? Bohrok? Saw some when I was wit' your lil brother! What d'ya want, lil Bohrok? What can I do f'you? I love Bohrok, cutest lil things around! They ain't vicious like 'em Vohra."

 

Kohrak repeated what he and Tahnok had said earlier. "So we need lots of help."

 

Kayelar nodded his head happily. "Ares, darling, ya still got numbers on 'em Ψ-Class Ksa? Think they'd be perrrrrfect for this, yah? I think we can spare a couple'a Ψ-Class clones f'these darlings! And Veekay, ya're gonna go with them, yah?"

 

Veekay stuttered. "Um, do I have to?"

 

"Yah."

 

"Can I have proper holiday afterwards then?"

 

"Of course!"

 

"Well alright then."

 

Kayelar then turned to Kohrak again. "One lil thing, you're gonna have t'wait for a bit. Got ourselves a lil problem wit'a couple'a Anexartitai. How's a week sound?"

 

"That's fine, Kayelar, sir. Thank you very much." Kohrak glanced at his brothers. "Is there anything you wish for us to do in return?"

 

Kayelar scratched his chin. "One lil thing. Get me one'a 'em fancy magic masks like 'em Toa things wear. Don't care what, I'd just like one f'me house."

 

"Easy peasy!" Gahlok clapped. "I got some at home."

 

"Me too... but the Toa's heads are still attached..." Nuhvok admitted.

 

Kayelar wasn't listening though, he was prancing around the room. Aress hinted that they should all leave now, so that's what they did. Veekay led the Bohrok back down stairs and into the main lobby again.

 

"That went well!" Lehvak beamed.

 

"Indeed. Now, where are we off to now?" Kohrak asked.


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