Takanuvainika Posted August 4, 2013 Share Posted August 4, 2013 (edited) Cool chapters, I am guessing that; Since it didn't talk about Kapura's test does that mean he is the one destined to die? Edited August 4, 2013 by Takanuvainika Quote "I once thought that I was the only one who fantasized about Bionicle; that no one else could have that little of a life. Then I went on BZPower. Just call me Taka or TNI Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toatapio Nuva Posted August 4, 2013 Author Share Posted August 4, 2013 You will have to read on to find out, of course, but also remember that the zone of nightmares only brings fears to life, not show beings their destinies. Still, you are right in assuming that Kapura's silence is somehow important. A new chapter up again! I'm on a roll, woohoo! Quote My BZPRPG profiles - Viima, Lai Lai Kirgan, Jarkale, Hile, Tuli + Kavala, Khervos, Thira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fishers64 Posted August 4, 2013 Share Posted August 4, 2013 Where are those side tunnels, Zaktan murmuredShould be: Where are those side tunnels?, Zaktan murmuredOnly Thok was missing from the group, ultimately betraed by the rest.Betrayed. Their plan would succeed and then Hakann would betrya Avak and get the real mask himselfBetray. discussion with him to find out the true. He would have used his Kanohi Rode on him, but all Order of Mata Nui agents were shielded against all mental powers."True" should be "truth". Also, IMO the Rode is not a mental power, but if you think it is that's okay here. It's more like a lie detector. So the Company is deathly scared of chasms? Also notice that you've emphasized the Piraka's backstabbing nature here more than the actual story, and paying more attention to their plans. Feels realistic. And Thok and Vezok teaming up feels like a Piraka animation refrence (that scene where Thok pulls Vezok through the ice pillars). Quote Hero Factory RPG | Bionicle Mafia XXIX: Storyline & Theories Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rediak the enforcer Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 I love your story.I was trying to find a story with the company as toa for so long.Yours is perfect.I love how you have the entire voya nui story going a different way.So it's not just the same story but with the company as toa.It's actually different.I love it.One question though. are you going to introduce the baraaki story at any point or is your story going to go different enough that they dont go to the pit? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chronicler06 Posted November 3, 2013 Share Posted November 3, 2013 This has been a great story so far. I was quite surprised by Zatktan's death. Likewise for Vezok and (presumably) the other Piraka, though I was disappointed you included Vezon too. I was kinda hoping to see more of him later on. Oh well. So it looks like Macku will be the one to hold the Mask of Life. I wonder what will ultimately happen... Based on the final part of the epilogue, I'm guessing Velika has built some kind of armor and breathing equipment that will make them resemble the Toa Mahri. The problem I see here is that if the Mask of Life has nothing to do with this, they will be vulnerable to the mutagenic waters of the pit. I wonder if you're already aware of this and have something unexpected in mind. Can't wait to see what's coming up in the next part. Quote Formerly known as Takanuva's Symbol, I rejoined BZPower on October 10, 2012. These days, I am perhaps best known for my obsession with all Lego video games. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toatapio Nuva Posted November 3, 2013 Author Share Posted November 3, 2013 (edited) Thank you for the comment. I killed off all the Piraka in order to not let loose ends lie around like Greg did. I thought about sparing Vezon because he is not solidly part of the group, but didn't want to have to deal with him later on. I want to concentrate on fewer characters than Greg. I know of the mutagen and the Toa Mahri and have factored that in my plans. Oh, and by the way, the first chapter of book 2 is up! EDIT: And chapter 2! I have a goal to get some more Barraki character development going than was in the canon story. Edited November 9, 2013 by Toatapio Nuva Quote My BZPRPG profiles - Viima, Lai Lai Kirgan, Jarkale, Hile, Tuli + Kavala, Khervos, Thira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toatapio Nuva Posted November 29, 2013 Author Share Posted November 29, 2013 Chapter 3 is up, at last! The Toa Inika arrive at the depths of the sea... Quote My BZPRPG profiles - Viima, Lai Lai Kirgan, Jarkale, Hile, Tuli + Kavala, Khervos, Thira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pohatu: Uniter of Stone Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 more! more! more! this is amazing! Quote I HATE SCORPIOS ~Pohatu Master of Stone, 2015 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pohatu: Uniter of Stone Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 Amazing story, even with all the grammatical errors, they don't get in the way of the epicness Quote I HATE SCORPIOS ~Pohatu Master of Stone, 2015 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skratchR Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 more! more! more! this is amazing!indeed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chro Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 more! more! more! this is amazing!indeed. Hey guys, if you want to leave feedback on the story, post it here, in the review topic for the story... the story thread is just for the author to post the story itself in. Quote save not only their lives but their spirits Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toatapio Nuva Posted December 19, 2013 Author Share Posted December 19, 2013 It's been a while since the latest chapter, but now I've added a new one! As long as there is interest in this epic, I will keep updating. Thank you for your comments! It's nice to know you like it. Quote My BZPRPG profiles - Viima, Lai Lai Kirgan, Jarkale, Hile, Tuli + Kavala, Khervos, Thira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Takanuvainika Posted April 10, 2014 Share Posted April 10, 2014 It's been some time since I was last back here and I am pleased to see new chapters. I look forward to seeing how the toa as Inika rather than Mahri fare against the Barakki. I'll been waiting for the next update. Quote "I once thought that I was the only one who fantasized about Bionicle; that no one else could have that little of a life. Then I went on BZPower. Just call me Taka or TNI Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toatapio Nuva Posted October 1, 2015 Author Share Posted October 1, 2015 (edited) Chapter 5 of book 2 is up! Includes difficult alliances and an appearance from the antidermis. Head over to the topic to read the chapter, and don't forget to post your thoughts and feedback here. I also edited some of the previous chapters, and updated them with improved grammar and spelling! Edited October 1, 2015 by Toatapio Nuva Quote My BZPRPG profiles - Viima, Lai Lai Kirgan, Jarkale, Hile, Tuli + Kavala, Khervos, Thira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toatapio Nuva Posted October 5, 2015 Author Share Posted October 5, 2015 Another new chapter is up! Includes the answer to who captured Tamaru, what is going on with the Mask of Life, and signs of change in Taipu. Please tell me what you thought about the chapter, I love reading feedback. Quote My BZPRPG profiles - Viima, Lai Lai Kirgan, Jarkale, Hile, Tuli + Kavala, Khervos, Thira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skratchR Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 Ah, marvellous. I was waiting for this day. I knew it would arrive: When this epic would be continued! I love it. I really do. 2006-2007 was when I started to follow BIONICLE, and this epic gives me so much notalgia.... at the same time that it gives me a new story to read. In two words: THANK YOU. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toatapio Nuva Posted October 12, 2015 Author Share Posted October 12, 2015 I'm glad you're enjoying the story! A new chapter is up! Makuta is revealed and things are slowly starting to get more serious. Quote My BZPRPG profiles - Viima, Lai Lai Kirgan, Jarkale, Hile, Tuli + Kavala, Khervos, Thira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pohatu: Uniter of Stone Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 It's back! You have no idea how happy I am to see you are updating this again. I remember this being one of the first epics I read after I joined BZPower, and it's still as good as it was back then. Quote I HATE SCORPIOS ~Pohatu Master of Stone, 2015 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toatapio Nuva Posted October 21, 2015 Author Share Posted October 21, 2015 Thank you for the kind words, it always makes me happy to know there is someone who enjoys the epic. Speaking of happiness, a new chapter is up! This one includes a conflict between the Barraki, the return of Defilak and Dekar and the arrival of Brutaka and Hydraxon! Quote My BZPRPG profiles - Viima, Lai Lai Kirgan, Jarkale, Hile, Tuli + Kavala, Khervos, Thira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toatapio Nuva Posted October 29, 2015 Author Share Posted October 29, 2015 New chapter is up! The underwater quest is about to take a turn... Quote My BZPRPG profiles - Viima, Lai Lai Kirgan, Jarkale, Hile, Tuli + Kavala, Khervos, Thira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiriamu Posted July 11, 2016 Share Posted July 11, 2016 So I just ran across this, and love what you've done so far. It's a very intriguing variation of the Ignition story, and works very well as an alternate universe concept. I hope there's more on the way, and look forward to seeing what other twists you have in store if there is. In particular, if Karzahni and Lesovikk are still heading to the Pit... Quote Voicing your opinions with tact is the best way to keep a discussion from becoming an argument.So far as I'm aware, it's pronounced like this: We're ee ah moo. Check out my Creations:EpicsG1 Battle for Spherus Magna - G2 A Lingering ShadowShort StoriesG1 Fallen Guardian - G2 Shadows of Past and Future (The Legend Continues Entry) Head of Stone, Heart of JungleMOCsMask Hoarder, Desert Scourge Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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