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Different Ignition: Review Topic


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59 replies to this topic

#41 Offline Takanuvainika

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Posted Aug 03 2013 - 07:05 PM

Cool chapters, I am guessing that;

Spoiler


Edited by Takanuvainika, Aug 03 2013 - 07:09 PM.

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"I once thought that I was the only one who fantasized about Bionicle; that no one else could have that little of a life.

Then I went on BZPower.


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Just call me Taka or TNI

 

 


#42 Offline Toatapio Nuva

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Posted Aug 04 2013 - 07:37 AM

Spoiler

 

A new chapter up again! I'm on a roll, woohoo!


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#43 Offline fishers64

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Posted Aug 04 2013 - 11:04 AM

Where are those side tunnels, Zaktan murmured

Should be:

Where are those side tunnels?, Zaktan murmured

Only Thok was missing from the group, ultimately betraed by the rest.

Betrayed.

Their plan would succeed and then Hakann would betrya Avak and get the real mask himself

Betray.

discussion with him to find out the true. He would have used his Kanohi Rode on him, but all Order of Mata Nui agents were shielded against all mental powers.

"True" should be "truth". Also, IMO the Rode is not a mental power, but if you think it is that's okay here. It's more like a lie detector. So the Company is deathly scared of chasms? Also notice that you've emphasized the Piraka's backstabbing nature here more than the actual story, and paying more attention to their plans. Feels realistic. And Thok and Vezok teaming up feels like a Piraka animation refrence (that scene where Thok pulls Vezok through the ice pillars).

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#44 Offline Rediak the enforcer

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Posted Aug 11 2013 - 10:00 AM

I love your story.I was trying to find a story with the company as toa for so long.Yours is perfect.I love how you have the entire voya nui story going a different way.So it's not just the same story but with the company as toa.It's actually different.I love it.One question though. are you going to introduce the baraaki story at any point or is your story going to go different enough that they dont go to the pit?


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#45 Offline Chronicler06

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Posted Nov 02 2013 - 07:10 PM

This has been a great story so far. :)

 

I was quite surprised by Zatktan's death. Likewise for Vezok and (presumably) the other Piraka, though I was disappointed you included Vezon too. I was kinda hoping to see more of him later on. Oh well.

 

So it looks like Macku will be the one to hold the Mask of Life. I wonder what will ultimately happen...

 

Spoiler

 

Can't wait to see what's coming up in the next part. :)


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Formerly known as Takanuva's Symbol, I have rejoined BZPower as of October 10, 2012. This is a new beginning for me.

#46 Offline Toatapio Nuva

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Posted Nov 03 2013 - 12:36 AM

Thank you for the comment. :)

 

I killed off all the Piraka in order to not let loose ends lie around like Greg did. I thought about sparing Vezon because he is not solidly part of the group, but didn't want to have to deal with him later on. I want to concentrate on fewer characters than Greg.

 

I know of the mutagen and the Toa Mahri and have factored that in my plans. ;)

 

Oh, and by the way, the first chapter of book 2 is up!

 

EDIT: And chapter 2! I have a goal to get some more Barraki character development going than was in the canon story.


Edited by Toatapio Nuva, Nov 09 2013 - 12:01 PM.

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#47 Offline Toatapio Nuva

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Posted Nov 29 2013 - 04:40 AM

Chapter 3 is up, at last! The Toa Inika arrive at the depths of the sea...


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#48 Offline Pohatu: Uniter of Stone

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Posted Dec 16 2013 - 08:51 PM

more! more! more! this is amazing!


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#49 Offline Pohatu: Uniter of Stone

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Posted Dec 16 2013 - 08:54 PM

Amazing story, even with all the grammatical errors, they don't get in the way of the epicness


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Splatoon Inkling Mocs! 

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#50 Offline skratchR

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Posted Dec 17 2013 - 12:39 PM

more! more! more! this is amazing!

indeed.


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#51 Offline Kimiko Kusanagi

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Posted Dec 17 2013 - 06:15 PM

more! more! more! this is amazing!

indeed.

 

Hey guys, if you want to leave feedback on the story, post it here, in the review topic for the story... the story thread is just for the author to post the story itself in. :)


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My experience with graffiti was critical to my success in creating an army of murderous seagulls.


#52 Offline Toatapio Nuva

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Posted Dec 19 2013 - 11:29 AM

It's been a while since the latest chapter, but now I've added a new one! As long as there is interest in this epic, I will keep updating.

 

Thank you for your comments! It's nice to know you like it. :)


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#53 Offline Takanuvainika

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Posted Apr 10 2014 - 03:14 AM

It's been some time since I was last back here and I am pleased to see new chapters. I look forward to seeing how the toa as Inika rather than Mahri fare against the Barakki. I'll been waiting for the next update.


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"I once thought that I was the only one who fantasized about Bionicle; that no one else could have that little of a life.

Then I went on BZPower.


biofighter_banner_platform.png

 

 

Just call me Taka or TNI

 

 


#54 Offline Toatapio Nuva

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Posted Oct 01 2015 - 09:53 AM

Chapter 5 of book 2 is up! Includes difficult alliances and an appearance from the antidermis. Head over to the topic to read the chapter, and don't forget to post your thoughts and feedback here. :)

 

I also edited some of the previous chapters, and updated them with improved grammar and spelling!


Edited by Toatapio Nuva, Oct 01 2015 - 11:03 AM.

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#55 Offline Toatapio Nuva

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Posted Oct 05 2015 - 04:24 AM

Another new chapter is up! Includes the answer to who captured Tamaru, what is going on with the Mask of Life, and signs of change in Taipu.

 

Please tell me what you thought about the chapter, I love reading feedback. :)


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#56 Offline skratchR

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Posted Oct 05 2015 - 09:14 AM

Ah, marvellous. I was waiting for this day. I knew it would arrive: When this epic would be continued! I love it. I really do. 2006-2007 was when I started to follow BIONICLE, and this epic gives me so much notalgia.... at the same time that it gives me a new story to read.

 

In two words: THANK YOU.


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#57 Offline Toatapio Nuva

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Posted Oct 12 2015 - 05:45 AM

I'm glad you're enjoying the story! :)

 

A new chapter is up! Makuta is revealed and things are slowly starting to get more serious.


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#58 Offline Pohatu: Uniter of Stone

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Posted Oct 13 2015 - 01:38 PM

It's back! You have no idea how happy I am to see you are updating this again. I remember this being one of the first epics I read after I joined BZPower, and it's still as good as it was back then.


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Splatoon Inkling Mocs! 

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#59 Offline Toatapio Nuva

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Posted Oct 21 2015 - 03:27 AM

Thank you for the kind words, it always makes me happy to know there is someone who enjoys the epic. :)

 

Speaking of happiness, a new chapter is up! This one includes a conflict between the Barraki, the return of Defilak and Dekar and the arrival of Brutaka and Hydraxon!


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#60 Offline Toatapio Nuva

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Posted Oct 29 2015 - 06:01 AM

New chapter is up! The underwater quest is about to take a turn...


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