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Different Ignition: Review Topic


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52 replies to this topic

#41 Offline Takanuvainika

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Posted Aug 03 2013 - 07:05 PM

Cool chapters, I am guessing that;

Spoiler


Edited by Takanuvainika, Aug 03 2013 - 07:09 PM.

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"I once thought that I was the only one who fantasized about Bionicle; that no one else could have that little of a life.

Then I went on BZPower.


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Just call me Taka or TNI

 

 


#42 Offline Toatapio Nuva

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Posted Aug 04 2013 - 07:37 AM

Spoiler

 

A new chapter up again! I'm on a roll, woohoo!


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#43 Offline fishers64

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Posted Aug 04 2013 - 11:04 AM

Where are those side tunnels, Zaktan murmured

Should be:

Where are those side tunnels?, Zaktan murmured

Only Thok was missing from the group, ultimately betraed by the rest.

Betrayed.

Their plan would succeed and then Hakann would betrya Avak and get the real mask himself

Betray.

discussion with him to find out the true. He would have used his Kanohi Rode on him, but all Order of Mata Nui agents were shielded against all mental powers.

"True" should be "truth". Also, IMO the Rode is not a mental power, but if you think it is that's okay here. It's more like a lie detector. So the Company is deathly scared of chasms? Also notice that you've emphasized the Piraka's backstabbing nature here more than the actual story, and paying more attention to their plans. Feels realistic. And Thok and Vezok teaming up feels like a Piraka animation refrence (that scene where Thok pulls Vezok through the ice pillars).

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#44 Offline Rediak the enforcer

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Posted Aug 11 2013 - 10:00 AM

I love your story.I was trying to find a story with the company as toa for so long.Yours is perfect.I love how you have the entire voya nui story going a different way.So it's not just the same story but with the company as toa.It's actually different.I love it.One question though. are you going to introduce the baraaki story at any point or is your story going to go different enough that they dont go to the pit?


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#45 Offline Chronicler06

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Posted Nov 02 2013 - 07:10 PM

This has been a great story so far. :)

 

I was quite surprised by Zatktan's death. Likewise for Vezok and (presumably) the other Piraka, though I was disappointed you included Vezon too. I was kinda hoping to see more of him later on. Oh well.

 

So it looks like Macku will be the one to hold the Mask of Life. I wonder what will ultimately happen...

 

Spoiler

 

Can't wait to see what's coming up in the next part. :)


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Formerly known as Takanuva's Symbol, I have rejoined BZPower as of October 10, 2012. This is a new beginning for me.

#46 Offline Toatapio Nuva

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Posted Nov 03 2013 - 12:36 AM

Thank you for the comment. :)

 

I killed off all the Piraka in order to not let loose ends lie around like Greg did. I thought about sparing Vezon because he is not solidly part of the group, but didn't want to have to deal with him later on. I want to concentrate on fewer characters than Greg.

 

I know of the mutagen and the Toa Mahri and have factored that in my plans. ;)

 

Oh, and by the way, the first chapter of book 2 is up!

 

EDIT: And chapter 2! I have a goal to get some more Barraki character development going than was in the canon story.


Edited by Toatapio Nuva, Nov 09 2013 - 12:01 PM.

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#47 Offline Toatapio Nuva

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Posted Nov 29 2013 - 04:40 AM

Chapter 3 is up, at last! The Toa Inika arrive at the depths of the sea...


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#48 Offline RahkshiToa88

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Posted Dec 16 2013 - 08:51 PM

more! more! more! this is amazing!


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If you use correct grammar in your posts (or try hard to), place this in your signature. Join Myst's campaign for correct grammar usage on BZPower!

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#49 Offline RahkshiToa88

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Posted Dec 16 2013 - 08:54 PM

Amazing story, even with all the grammatical errors, they don't get in the way of the epicness


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If you use correct grammar in your posts (or try hard to), place this in your signature. Join Myst's campaign for correct grammar usage on BZPower!

:smilepohatunu: chimoru2015spinnie.gif

Credit to Click for the awesome Bionicle 2015 spinnie!

 

rahkshitoa.png

Credit to Voxumo for the sprite of my self-moc!


#50 Offline skratchR

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Posted Dec 17 2013 - 12:39 PM

more! more! more! this is amazing!

indeed.


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#51 Offline Chro

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Posted Dec 17 2013 - 06:15 PM

more! more! more! this is amazing!

indeed.

 

Hey guys, if you want to leave feedback on the story, post it here, in the review topic for the story... the story thread is just for the author to post the story itself in. :)


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#52 Offline Toatapio Nuva

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Posted Dec 19 2013 - 11:29 AM

It's been a while since the latest chapter, but now I've added a new one! As long as there is interest in this epic, I will keep updating.

 

Thank you for your comments! It's nice to know you like it. :)


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#53 Offline Takanuvainika

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Posted Apr 10 2014 - 03:14 AM

It's been some time since I was last back here and I am pleased to see new chapters. I look forward to seeing how the toa as Inika rather than Mahri fare against the Barakki. I'll been waiting for the next update.


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"I once thought that I was the only one who fantasized about Bionicle; that no one else could have that little of a life.

Then I went on BZPower.


biofighter_banner_platform.png

 

 

Just call me Taka or TNI

 

 





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