Jump to content

  • Log in with Facebook Log in with Twitter Log In with Google      Sign In   
  • Create Account

Welcome to BZPower!

Hi there, while we hope you enjoy browsing through the site, there's a lot more you can do if you register. Some perks of joining include:
  • Create your own topics, participate in existing discussions, and vote in polls
  • Show off your creations, stories, art, music, and movies
  • Enter contests to win free LEGO sets and other prizes
  • Participate in raffles to win LEGO prizes
  • Organize with other members to attend or send your MOCs to LEGO fan events all over the world
  • Much, much more!
Enjoy your visit!


FFFC#4: New Beginnings

Steampunk FFFC #4 A Canister Ashore Toa

  • Please log in to reply
1 reply to this topic

#1 Offline Click

  • Premier Member
  • Premier Outstanding BZP Citizens
  • Toa of Light Rising

  • 25-May 09
  • 6,183 posts
  •   Outstanding BZPower Citizen

Posted Mar 26 2013 - 11:50 PM

Coming in at 794 words, my second entry (here's my first) to this contest actually made it under 800 for once! For some reason, I felt that I could write something else for this contest, and I've been wanting to write a short story with a reason to be Steampunkish for Bionicle. I think I might use this same island in a Lesovikk's Hiatus entry (which you should also enter because it's no fun being in a contest with five entries so far). So, I'll just let you read now. Please leave reviews though! If you do, I'll review yours! :D


[font="'trebuchet ms', helvetica, sans-serif;"]New Beginnings[/font]

[font="'trebuchet ms', helvetica, sans-serif;"]By: Click[/font]


[font="'trebuchet ms', helvetica, sans-serif;"]                [/font]

                We've been here a long time. I remember when our little island home far South of anything had been safe, protected by at least a Toa of the Green, that is, until he took off. Botharix said he was going to the North of the island to check for perimeter leaks that Rahi got through into our village, but when he failed to reappear for the next week, we went to check on him. Turns out the coward had taken an old rowboat and split. Not that we blame him. We're not exactly living in paradise here.


                You see, our island has a particular problem. When the first settlers came here with a steady flow of supplies from the Southern Continent, we had no idea we just walked into a Makuta playground. Half of our number was quickly killed by Rahi unlike anything we had ever seen. Our Turaga was killed by some kind of giant burrowing snake-like creature lined with tiny sharp legs and lots of needle-like teeth. Then, our last Toa gave his energies to create a new line of protectors, but even those were killed off (except for the aforementioned Botharix) by everything from a stout, round creature covered in fur-like metal spikes to tiny creatures the size of a Madu Fruit that are just as explosive. Those of us that are left could only watch behind our wall as our supplies dwindled away with our numbers.


                Without those supplies, and with the constant sieges by creatures I can't even describe, many of us were forced to use the island's bountiful supply of protobrass and other materials to build ourselves defense machines, appliances, and the occasional replacement limb. Our woefully inadequate knowledge of building left us starting from the beginning, clockwork. None of this fancy electronic stuff that many of our luckier brethren got to live with.


                And that would be the lovely situation I woke up to this morning, with my mechanical hand whirring and pumping as I sat up and gazed around. From the smell, I could tell some of the large fire-breathing Brakas had found another way in, as well as some food to feed their internal furnaces. Rations would be cut short again I guess. There goes my dream of having some nice Bula Berry juice for breakfast. With this in mind, I began my usual chores for the day: clean up last night's mess, make my threadbare bed, shoo away the acid-coated avian Rahi, sweep up ashes in the backyard, the usual stuff. The storm last night definitely made my job a lot harder, but the rain was refreshing. I gathered up my downfall collection bucket and began to filter it.


                It was about that time that I suddenly looked up to hear shouting. Not that shouting was unusual in this Karzahni, but this almost sounded...joyful. Something I hadn't heard in a long time. I nearly dropped the precious water in my haste to see what was in Mata Nui's name was going on. I was followed by about half the village, including our Turaga, limping on his clockwork peg-leg and cane. A Matoran of Air was shouting and pointing, something about the beach. As I got closer, I could tell he was saying something about a Canister. Could it be Botharix coming back to us? Or some new threat? Either way, a stir swept through the crowd in a wave of optimistic whispers. As one, everyone pushed forwards to see for themselves something that would inevitably change everything about how we lived on this island. I ran forwards after the Matoran to avoid being trampled, and we soon came across a large metal cylinder with rounded ends laying in the surf. Yellow lights on its extremities pulsed slowly on and off. A good portion of the crowd took off to do their best to open it like a Naming Day present with knocks, rocking, and yanking on what they judged was the lip of the top. Our Turaga slowly limped forwards, and the crowd respectfully divided for him. He rapped his cane on the nearest light, and the lid twisted open with a hiss of steam. We all peered in over each other's shoulders and heads to see two orange eyes peering out of the blackness. They came closer, and the early light shined off a silver Mask of Rahi Control and blue armor. The Toa of Water stretched outwards, and we all stepped back, many fearful of the same betrayal exhibited by Botharix, but all of us in awe of the new Toa.


                "Who...who are you?" asked the Toa tentatively.


                I think that all of us could feel her honesty. This was the start of something new. A new life for all of us.



[font="'trebuchet ms', helvetica, sans-serif;"]-----[/font]

[font="'trebuchet ms', helvetica, sans-serif;"] [/font]

[font="'trebuchet ms', helvetica, sans-serif;"][font="arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"]Hope you enjoyed, please review if you did! I'd gladly take the time to review yours if you even just leave a quick comment. Thanks![/font][/font]

Edited by Click, Mar 26 2013 - 11:52 PM.

  • 0

#2 Offline Hitoshura

  • Members
  • Flying Force!

  • 16-February 13
  • 2,489 posts

Posted Mar 27 2013 - 01:57 PM

I usually don't reply to stories, but this one is nice, how you described everything. I got confused at one point, because you said hat he Turaga got killed, but when the Toa appeared the Turaga was the one who tapped on the canister.
  • 0

0 user(s) are browsing this forum

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users