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I Watched You Die

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4 replies to this topic

#1 Offline Cosmic Titan

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Posted Apr 05 2013 - 12:49 PM

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Khazhero had been for many years but yet he had never truly left. A bond had long ago been forged and it held his spirit to the world of the living. He knew it was time to break the bond. Even as an incorporeal spirit he was able to muster great power.[/font]


[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Slate watched the sky turn dark and a storm break out in only minutes. He felt a strange weakness grow in his limbs as otherworldly lights exploded from the sky. Energies were forcefully ripped from his body, mind and spirit.[/font]


[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Atoms moved through the air and came together to form a body for the long formless spirit. Lightning flew from the sky and into the newly created form of Khazhero. Against nature the dead had returned to life.[/font]


[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]The storm still raged around them and heavy rain fell as the two old friends embraced. Khazhero in his solid white armor at eight feet tall towered over the six feet tall Slate.[/font]


[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]“I watched you die…” spoke Slate after a long silence.[/font]


[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Khazhero smiled sadly. “But I could not pass on. I have unfinished business. That we must attend to.”[/font]


[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]With a single thought the Makuta opened a portal and hurried his Toa friend through it as he followed. They arrived outside a small wooden shack in a forest of some unknown land.[/font]


[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]The Makuta lead them to the door and knocked once. An ancient voice beckoned them in.[/font]


[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]An elderly Turaga sat at the table inside. He wore green and silver armor and carried a wooden staff with a glowing stone on it.[/font]


[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]The Turaga and Makuta talked for what seemed like hours in some language that Slate could not understand. Then the Turaga said, “It is time we part. This world is no longer our proper place.” He turned to Slate. “But you still belong. You still have much to do.”[/font]


[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]The three beings walked outside. The Turaga waved his staff the shack was reclaimed by the forest around it. The Makuta opened another portal.[/font]


[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]They now stood on the same island from before and the storm still raged above.[/font]


[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]The Turaga went by the name Gardener. That much Slate had figured out but Slate didn’t know what his importance was.[/font]


[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Gardener produced a book. He flipped through the pages one last time. It was filled with names and all but six were crossed out. “Slate. This is a list of all those I considered turning into Toa. They all failed me in one way or another. They didn’t have the proper values. They were not stable enough. They were too stable. Some of them died much to my displeasure. But six of them proved worthy of my gift and I turned them into Toa. Slate, you are one of them.” The Turaga then read off five other names. “I want you to gather them along with those you consider most worthy. That is my last gift to you.”[/font]


[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Slate was so overwhelmed with emotions. His friend had returned and so much of his past was so suddenly revealed to him.[/font]


[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]The Turaga closed the book and set it on the ground. He then launched a bolt of energy from his staff and the book was obliterated.  A look of peace filled his old face. His heart light stopped glowing and his staff turned to dust. He let out one last breath and his body turned to dust as his spirit departed.[/font]


[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]“Slate. It is time for goodbyes. My business is done. Our link must be broken. I need to rest. Farewell my dear friend.”[/font]


[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Tears welled up in the Toa’s eyes. He said goodbye. Khazhero touched him on the head and the link was broken.[/font]


[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]An unnatural glow surrounded Khazhero as his body fell apart and his spirit left.[/font]


[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]The storm only then started to weaken. And Slate so overcome with emotion he passed out. When he woke it was morning. The storm was gone, the sky was clear and he felt so much better. He would miss his friend. But he had at last come to peace with his death. He could finally move on.[/font]

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#2 Offline Phovos

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Posted Apr 08 2013 - 03:38 AM

This story feels like a dream, but plot-wise and how the story is written, floating from one place to another. The plot is interesting but unfulfilled, it feels like there's more information that we haven't been told. 


How is it that this Makuta and this Toa are friends? How did the Makuta create these portals? Why was he dead? What was the importance of the storm? And Slate is an odd name for a Toa. Like calling Pohatu 'Pebble'.


The images were really nice though. The embrace was lovely. The emotions were interesting.

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#3 Offline Cosmic Titan

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Posted Apr 08 2013 - 05:27 PM

[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]You are correct there is more information that I withheld. I didn't feel as thought it fit with the story but I may be wrong. The story is not the entire story of these characters but more of a single event.[/font]


[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]The Makuta was the Toa's teacher and they became friend because they worked together for a long time. The Makuta's powers are much more extensive than the other Makuta. Instead of doing what the other Makuta did he studied the nature of reality and he hoped to find a way to avoid death. In doing so he learned how to do things such as create portals. The Makuta was killed by the Brotherhood for treason and tampering with things they thought best be left alone. The storm is caused by Khazhero returning to life and the storm ends as he dies again. Slate is a Toa of sonics. He was one of my characters in the RPG Day Run. And I'm not very good at naming things.[/font]


[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Thanks for reading and commenting on my story. I appreciate it. :)[/font]

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#4 Offline Phovos

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Posted Apr 09 2013 - 01:40 AM

Khazhero is an interesting Makuta. It's nice for them all not to be monsters or whatever.


You're welcome matey. There are so many stories around here with only a few replies.

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#5 Offline Neelh

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Posted Apr 28 2013 - 05:13 AM

I don't know what to say about this, but I really enjoyed it.


Against nature the dead had returned to life.


I think it would work better as this, though.


Against nature, the dead had returned to life.


It flows better. I don't kow. But thanks for writing this. It made me feel better about all of the talk of Bionicle never returning, because, well, I just have a lot of feelings and this isn't the place to discuss them.

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I no longer need Taipu as I have achieved the impossible.


I have girlfriend.


the atlantic was born today

and i'll tell you how

the clouds above opened up

and let it out

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