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Hope of Rebirth

FFFC Kaida Flash Fiction Rebirth

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#1 Offline Velox

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Posted Apr 09 2013 - 11:34 PM

[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]Hope of Rebirth[/color][/font]


[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]S[/color]HE AWOKE IN PAIN on the cold, hard stone floor. Deep gashes had been ripped into her skin all across her arms and body. They were healing, half black and half crimson, but she knew they would never heal completely. It wouldn’t be long before she tore them open again.[/font]


[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]     Black scorch marks riddled her skin, permanent, unable to be washed away—water was a poison, burning like fire would a normal human.[/color][/font]


[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]     She brushed her pale-blond hair behind her ears and sat up slowly, looking around her to see the prison-like abode where she slept each night. Atop a cliff; huge, jagged rocks surrounding her, stone floor, no ceiling. It was her punishment to herself, unwilling to live anywhere in comfort.[/color][/font]


[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]     And for just a brief moment, just like every morning, she had hope. Hope that somehow she had been changed. Had been healed. Was no longer the monster that she had been the day before. But then, just like every morning, that hope was extinguished as it began to happen.[/color][/font]


[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]     She began to change.[/color][/font]


[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]     Her back became rough and thick, the skin drying and cracking as it turned scarlet. Gigantic, leathery wings grew from her back and extended until each one could wrap around her body two- or three-fold, ending with two spiked points. Her fingers became callused and sharp; curved, cone-shaped nails protruded from the ends, over an inch long each. Her feet followed suit, becoming more animalistic with claws to match her hands. The blood of the scars seemed to brighten as her whole skin became tougher and paler. She was still recognizably human, yet bestial.[/color][/font]


[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]     She shrieked and bellowed, trying to fight the transformation. But she couldn’t. She clawed at her body, drawing fresh blood and reopening old scabs. Her stomach growled and with a haunting fear she knew: it was time to feed.[/color][/font]


[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]     Her legs moved as if under their own power and she leaped into the air, burgundy wings extending. Below her valleys and forests covered the ground with a dirt road dividing them. She flew to the forest, keeping close to the tree tops.[/color][/font]


[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]     Her nostrils flared and she knew human flesh was nearby. Her body shot down toward the scent until finally she saw a young boy in the distance among the trees, playing in a river by himself, his parents nowhere to be seen.[/color][/font]


[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]     She clawed at herself and used all of her strength to stop, but the beast inside her was relentless. Fangs extended from her canines, the scent of blood close. She tried to push them back into her skull but instead drew blood from her thumbs.[/color][/font]


[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]     Desperate to stop, she clawed at herself again and again, ripping her stomach open, trying anything to stop herself from destroying the young life. But the fire inside her quickly healed the lacerations and staunched the bleeding; her clawing had only caused more pain—failed to stop her flight toward her next victim.[/color][/font]


[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]     She landed on the forest frondescence and ripped into his flesh, burning his body to a crisp before devouring it, all the time fighting her internal demon. When it was finished she quickly took off again, in control, slamming into several trees and branches in a crazed dash before flying above the tree line and back to her home before she could catch the scent of another.[/color][/font]


[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]     What have I done? The pained thought that went through her mind day after day, mistake after mistake. But today was worse. Today she had gone too far, past the point of return.[/color][/font]


[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]     She landed on the cold stone and sat down, secluded from civilization, hidden behind her haven of large rocks. Her arms wrapped around her knees, and her blond hair fell into her face. Her wings were still expanded, wrapped around her like a shield and a blanket as her nails and teeth receded into their normal appearance.[/color][/font]


[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]     A tear formed in the pit of her azure eye, stinging as the salty liquid seeped into the deep gash around her eyelids.[/color][/font]


[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]     As she thought about what she had done, more tears fell. They burned into her flesh, steam rising from her cheeks in their path, but she allowed them to fall, keeping her arms where they were. She allowed the pain, knowing she deserved it—and much worse.[/color][/font]


[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]     She wished to die, to end the cruelty that she inflicted upon innocent victims. Today had been the worst—a child.[/color][/font]


[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]     What have I done? she repeated in her mind again as even more tears fell.[/color][/font]


[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]     She hugged herself tighter, weeping bitterly, and awaited the new dawn when she knew she would hunt—and kill—again.[/color][/font]


[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]     But she couldn’t let that happen. She had to hope that one day, somehow, she might become reborn—no longer the monster, but a beautiful creature.[/color][/font]


[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]     She opened her eyes slowly, looking off the cliff and into the sky. She needed help. She had to stop. Become reborn. Live under the oppression of this ailment no longer. But can I? she wondered.[/color][/font]


[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]     I have to.[/color][/font]


[color=#000000;][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]~ :: ~[/color][/font]


[font="'times new roman', times, serif;"][color=#000000;]A/N: Written for the "Rebirth" Fortnightly Flash Fiction Contest, this story was inspired by the amazing [/color][color=#000000;]drawing[/color][color=#000000;] [/color][color=#000000;]Kaida[/color][color=#000000;] (careful, the topic is unfortunately dead) by the extraordinary Ezorov. Many thanks to Katie for allowing me to use that as inspiration. I really enjoyed writing this character, and I hope to write more about her. But for now, enjoy this piece that stands on its own--comments and constructive criticisms are welcome. [/color][/font]

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"As a writer you ask yourself to dream while awake." ~ Aimee Bender

#2 Offline Jean Valjean

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Posted Apr 10 2013 - 11:26 PM

:kaukau: [color=#0000ff;]Interesting, because of the ideal pacing and description.  For example, when you describe the transformation process, I thought that you did a perfect job.  The story itself was obviously very short, not just in terms of words but in terms of just how much happened, so I think that aided your use of description and your ability to mainly build up the feel of the story.  I, by contrast, usually write rather packed stories that try to make the best of the space I'm given and make a hasty narrative, and my main problem is describing the time.  This story, however, reads at about the same speed as I would imagine it plays out, so to repeat my first word: "Interesting."[/color]


[color=#0000ff;]The image I had in my head, to be perfectly honest, was very little like the one Ezerov/Katia/Batman drew.  I see how it differs from her drawing a bit, and I kind of like your interpretation better because it reminds me of a book I read when I was a kid called The Monster's Ring.  A lot of this story actually reminds me of that book.  But basically, there was an illustration of the kid's final transformation, and he looked like a scaly demon with claws, gray skin, a few extra feet on him, and giant wings.  There was also a monster's instinct there, and he got...Well, in case you ever read it, I won't give away the ending.  This just reminds me of that story, except it's a few shades darker.[/color]


[color=#0000ff;]The thing that was a bit funny, however, was imagining her clawing herself repeatedly while in flight.  You mentioned it several times, so I imagined what sort of movement she would have in flight.  It was sort of comical.  Not quite, but it definitely prevented this story from being so dark that it was shallow.  It's more engaging that way, or maybe that's just nostalgia talking.[/color]


[color=#0000ff;]Anyway, I'm not entirely sure how to interpret the ending.  It seems that she's either going to kill herself, or she's going to go off to see the Wonderful Wizard of Oz.  I flipped a coin: it was Oz*.  So according to the way I chose to interpret things, the story remains light.  For a change, it's not because it's trying to be inspirational, but more because it sounds adventurous and cool, in that way where you kind of know that the hero is going to succeed.  Otherwise, there would be no point in prolonging the story, hypothetically.  I would love to see this made into an epic, even if there are only ten chapters or so of about this length, except I know what you're up to lately and you're busy.  That would disappoint me, but I look forward to the day that you write something that's both fabulous and ongoing.[/color]


[color=#0000ff;]*Oz was represented by Heads, for reasons that I assume are obvious.[/color]



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