Technic Coliseum: After Hours

[Makuta of Time]

When kiina is supposed to say don't but says fon't. And --- that's strange. I just say it a few minutes ago. I must be seeing things. (Not being funny)

[ToaKapura1234]

Matoro should be thanking me for leading him to the championship and this. Also he needs a spine. And I have an idea for you: here it is,

Let sponsors guest star if they want.

Any thoughts?

[Pahrak Model ZX]

Seppuku kinda jumped out of nowhere...

 

A pretty good chapter. Hearing the heroes speak in butchered Old English was a nice laugh.

Edited May 18, 2013 by Pahrak #0579

[Phoenixian Wraith]

Butchered is one way to call it, Exo.

 

Well, Kiina's come up to me askin' something about a dress... I think? I dunno I was testing my custom-made Cycle's engine. I swear every time that I place that cover on the motor something jumps loose on purpose... *sticks most of torso into the vaguely RoboRider-cross-Tron vehicle* AHA! What the... why's there a bleedin' Hoto bug in here?

 

Hmm... haven't seen Lava since that last battle I sponsored him into... *taps intercom* Oi, anyone seen Lava?

 

Secretary: Only Gray, sir. Apparently, she asked him to the dance.

 

Me: Huh, the lucky devil... Well, guess I can hold this matter off 'till this things over...

 

Yeah, if you can't tell I do enjoy roleplaying a fair bit.

[Canis Lycaon]

I would like to make this announcement. I will start a schedule for my chapters. I will post new chapters every Saturday or Sunday, depending on which works for me. ToaKapura, about your idea. The players/sponsors are corporations in this comedy, and I just want to keep the fighter separate from their sponsors, but there is nothing preventing you from writing your own chapter.

Chapter Eleven:

*The Toa are gathering and preparing to go to the dance*

Chiara: So, I'm new here.

Helyrx: Are you going to join the Female Revolutionary League?

Chaira: Yeah, why not. Anyways, I'm going with Nuju because he is Class B and Gali isn't letting anyone go with a Toa Mata.

Gali: Don't even think about it.

Kopaka: Now all of my posse is going with me!

Matoro: Did anyone else notice that ToaKapura has two characters going to the dance?

 

*Everyone arrives at the dance.*

Flare: Does anyone have any requests for songs?

'Lava': Wait, I thought Electro was going to be the DJ.

Flare: Yeah, but he got in a fight with Energy.

'Lava': Aren't they the same person?

Flare: Exactly.

Gray: Come on Flare, let's dance!

Von Nebula: Flare, play a romantic song. Slow dancing!

Blaster: So, are we doing well on profits?

Von Nebula: Yes. We have gained-

Pahrak #0579: CLEAN IT ALL!

Von Nebula: Dollars.

Blaster: Sorry, I didn't quite get that.

Von Nebula: It was-

Pahrak #0579: CLEAN IT ALL!

Von Nebula: Dollars.

Blaster: Why does every time you try to say how much we got, Pahrak runs screaming in front of you?

*Two Virus tendrils shoot up from underneath the food table, grab Von Nebula, and pull him under.*

Blaster: I don't want to know.

 

*Under the table*

Virus: Von!

Von Nebula: Did you just call me by my first name?

Virus: Yes. There is something wrong with Lava!

Von Nebula: How do you know?

Virus: Because I stalk all of the other RoboRiders. Duh!

Von Nebula: WAIT, WHAT! YOU ACTIVELY STALK THE OTHER ROBORIDERS!

Virus: Not so loud. We'll be heard.

Von Nebula: This is crazy.

Virus: Well, how else am I supposed to know their routines so I know when I can infect them with ... THE VIRUS!

Von Nebula: Okay, so what is going on with Lava?

 

*All the fighters are dancing*Breez: Ow you're ow stepping ow on ow my ow foot ow.

Furno: Oh sorry.

Kiina: I hate you, Gresh.

Gresh: WHAT?

Kiina: I love you.

Gresh: WHAT?

Kopaka: Don't worry. She's just being a tsundere.

Gresh: I don't know what that means.

Canis: And I just found out this morning!

Luna: Did the author just appear?

Millennium: Yes.

Gali: There's no one at the food stands! I want to eat!

Kopaka: Uh, here's an apple I found.

Gali: That's healthy! I want junk food!

 

*Back under the table*

Virus: And he never eats olives. But look what he's eating right now!

Von Nebula: An olive. So what. He could just be eating an olive.

Virus: But I once heard him say, 'Olives are the scourge of the earth. I would rather die than eat one.'

Von Nebula: Perhaps he was joking?

Virus: He wasn't! Lava isn't Lava!

Von Nebula: So what do you say we do?

*Virus drives out towards Lava*

Von Nebula: Hey! Look at all the V's!

 

*Virus drivs up to Lava*

'Lava': Can I help you?

Virus: I know you aren't the real Lava!

Gray: What are you talking about?

*Virus pulls off the top of the Lava Cycle*

Virus: Behold! Lava is really...

Gray: Boss?

Boss: I beat up Lava and impersonated him because everyone ignores and shuns me!

Von Nebula: He has ruined the enjoyment of this dance! Strike Team Other Slizers! Dispose of him! Strike Team Green, go get the real Lava!

Gray: Say, don't we RoboRiders have real names?

 

*Strack, Skrall, and Malum are in the boiler room*

Malum: Is this place even acceptable for living?

Strack: It is not.

Skrall: Is it time to activate the Exo-Toa?

Strack: Hm. The time is 8:14, so yeah.

*Skrall presses a button on a remote. A couple Exo-Toa break apart and start flying through the air.*

Malum: We got that from Iron Man 3, didn't we?

Strack: Yes, we did.

*The Exo-Toa fly back with the members of the Female Revolutionary League.*

Strack: Hover above the acid vat.

*The Coalition of World Domination return.*

Von Nebula: Good work, boys.

 

*Some time later*

Von Nebula: And from the hostage situation we got another large sum of money.

Nidhiki: Can I buy a set of mirrors with my cut?

Blaster: No one is getting a 'cut'. The money is being pooled.

Electro: Can we use the money to pay for my hospital bill?

Granite: You beat yourself up. You pay.

Electro: No! Energy beat me up!

Energy: And Electro beat me up!

Von Nebula: You're the same person!

Electro: We are completely different people!

 

*This comedy has 758 words*

[Pahrak Model ZX]

So Von Nebula gets dragged under the table by tendrils that appear out of nowhere, and he's surprised that Virus is using his first name. I see he's got his priorities straight.

 

And TsunKiina has officially appeared! I look forward to seeing what happens with that.

 

I wasn't expecting Boss to be the one impersonating Lava, though it does make sense. Poor guy is being driven (pardon the pun) to insane measures...

[ToaKapura1234]

Matoro gets a raise for mentioning me. And Nuju's class B now? I had no idea.

[Phoenixian Wraith]

Me: I swear, when I get my hands on Boss...

 

Secretary: Sir?

Me: What?

Secretary: We found Lava's rider.

Me: Ah, good. Bring him up.

Secretary: Right away.

 

*some time later*

 

'Lava': Am I gonna get to pay Boss back, sir?

Me: In due time, Warden. In due time...

Warden: Why not a battle? No items, no Elements.

Me: Sounds reasonable. I'll organize it immediately. But first...

Warden: Sir?

Me: How'd Boss get you?

Warden: ... I'd rather not say...

Me: Spill, kiddo or your pay's gonna get tight.

Warden: Well... Boss... isn't what you expect...

Me: How so?

Warden: He's seriously fit... He's the Major Alex Armstrong of RoboRiders.

Me: *blinks a few times* I see...

 

So yeah, I figured that, since 'Gray' pulled it up, I'd give Lava's rider a name. So, introducing Warden. There, done.

[Canis Lycaon]

Um, Wraith, the joke really was that, depending on how you look at it, the RoboRiders don't have names, or their code names are their names.

Chapter Twelve:

*Matoro is walking down the hallway*
Granite: So boss says we need to hit someone with this beam of metal.
Jet: This is going to be so good.
Matoro: Gee, I really like how no one is trying to kill me right now.
Granite: Hit him!
Matoro: Ow.
*Matoro faints.*
Jet: Flee and leave the body!
Granite: That's so cleshe.
Jet: Right. We should put the body in a closet.

Matoro wakes up in a desolated, ruined landscape. He sits up and starts to rub his head. "What happened?" is the first thing he says. "Why is everything prose?" is the second. Then, almost to answer his question, a Toa of Stone comes running out of nowhere. "Why, this is war, and prose is much better for war!" Matoro looks at the Toa for a minute and then says, "What year is it?" The Toa quickly replies, "Why, it is 2043! Wait a minute! YOU! HOW DARE YOU SHOW YOUR FACE HERE!" The Toa raises his ax and starts trying to kill Matoro with it. Matoro runs away screaming, "What is happening?!"

*Skrall walks into the Glatorian rooming*
Mata Nui: I think we should have Matoran Universe designs!
Kiina: Oh sure, decorate the rooms after your internal organs.
Gresh: No, we need a Jungle Tribe atmosphere.
Strack: Ice Tribe is the best. Ice Tribe is what we're going to do.
Kiina: Hey, Skrall, what do you think we should do.
*Skrall shudders.*
Kiina: Uh, Skrall? Hello?
Skrall: You must do the designs of Atero.
Strack: But those are so generic.
Skrall: Exactly.
Mata Nui: I hate any sort of Glatorian stuff!
Gresh: Then go with the Toa!
Mata Nui: They kicked me out because I'm their ruler.

Matoro arrives in a city, panting. He looks up, and sees a giant skyscraper. He walks forward into it for no reason, trips over nothing, and somehow falls into the elevator. The elevator starts moving up, and stops. Matoro gets out in a cubicle farm. He tries to get back in the elevator, but can't. There is no button. Then, Matoro sees Skrall. He walks over to him.
"Are you working here?"
"Matoro! Long time no see! Well, I see you a lot on TV."
"Look, I'm from thirty years ago. I need your help."
"Right! You told us about this when you got back. Or, you tell us when you get back."
"Why are you working here?"
"You know. Cubicles are generic. Anyways, the world is at war, and it is all your fault.
Matoro's jaw drops and he stares at Skrall.
"So, you encouraged your wife, Helyrx, to try ant take over the world. The took over all the Slizer planet, some of the RoboRider planet, most of the Hero Factory planet, and most of the Matoran Universe. Von Nebula changed Hero Factory into Villain Factory, and controls Makuherovillain City. Virus has infected all the other RoboRiders, and the Toa and good Slizers are making their last stand in Metru Nui."
At this point, Matoro decided he had heard enough and ran towards the window. He crashed through it, and began to fall to his death.

*The RoborRiders are sitting around out of their cycles.*
Gray: So is your name really 'Warden'?
Lava: It's possible.
Boss: I'm so glad your accepting me now!
Swamp: We just don't want to get beat up.
Virus: Speak for yourself.
Gray: Wait, isn't Virus a robot? How can he leave the cycle? He is the cycle!
Virus: Von Nebula made me a a little robot body.

Matoro lands in a truck carrying pillows, which starts driving. Matoro yells, "A pillow truck? What?" He arrives in the primary base of the Female Revolutionary League. He is taken through the streets and brought to Helyrx and Matoro. The future Matoro says, "I must fight myself in a match to the death!" Helyrx, on the other says, "How are you here?" Present, or past depending on how you look at it, Matoro says, "Probably something to do with my Iden." Before anyone can do anything, future Mator leaps up and stabs present Matoro in the chest. Past Matoro vanishes.

*The Heroes are playing video games.*
Stormer: Tis our duty to maketh Nex speaketh!
Furno: We musteth tryeth harder!
Bulk: By sunset of tomorrow, we shalleth heardeth him speaketh!
Evo: Just sayeth something!
*Nex begins to open his mouth.*
Rocka: He is beginning to speaketh! What shall thou sayeth?
Something.
Stormer: Why does he speak in rainbow?
Furno: He's color coded! He must be from a color coded comedy!
Loganto: Soon, the Bio Battle Arena will take over the Coliseum! MUHAHAHA!
*Matoro wakes up in a storage closet.
Matoro: That was such a weird dream. Wait, why am I in a storage closet?
*The door opens*
Pahrak #0579: And this is where we keep the supplies. Wait, Matoro what are you doing here?
Matoro: Who's the little guy?
Pahrak Va #0579: I'm Pahrak Va! HELP CLEAN IT ALL!
Matoro: I'll be going now.

A wartorn Kopaka and Onua, anthropomorphic Virus and Boss, Von Nebula, a plain silver robot, a Bohrok and a Bohrok Va all gather. Kopaka begins, "Gentlemen, we are gathered here today to travel back in time and kill Helyrx." Von Nebula responds, "Yes, we now that, but why is Pahrak #0579 here?" The Bohrok responds, "Simple. The future is very dirty." Onua turns on a ring shaped portal, and he jumps through it, along with the Bohrok Va, the plain silver robot and Boss. Virus looks at Pahrak #0597 and says, "Wait, who did you send to the past?"

*This comedy has 922 words. Twelve of which are hidden.*

Edited June 22, 2014 by Canis Lycaon

[Pahrak Model ZX]

Looks like things are getting timey-wimey. Can't wait to see how things play out. And yay, Pahrak Va #0579! My son!

[Phoenixian Wraith]

*Facepalm* Gah, shoulda known there'd be a joke I missed... Oh well, at least you've rolled with it =P. Thanks for that, by the way.

[Canis Lycaon]

Chapter Thirteen:

 

Von Nebula: Okay, so we didn't get a scene last chapter.

Blaster: And we have a new member!

Von Nebula: He is the retired villain Pridak.

Virus: Who?

Flare: Wait, you don't have a sponsor anymore!

Virus: So? I'm an anarchist. I don't follow the rules.

Pridak: You whippersnappers! Never respecting your elders!

Electro: Wait, you lead the League of Six Villains, didn't you?

Pridak: And the Brotherhood of Supremacy. They don't make evil organizations like that nowadays. Yessiree, they don't. You villains have it easy! Why, when I was your age-

Von Nebula: You had to walk to school, uphill both ways, in the snow, barefoot. Oh, and you liked it.

Pridak: Of course! How did you know?

Von Nebula: Look, that's not physically possible.

Pridak: Of course it is! My school was surrounded by a ring of snow-capped mountains. My house was on the other side. Everyday, a large group of crazy mountain living yodelers would sing. I could hear it. It was fabulous.

Von Nebula: Why didn't you just, I don't know, move the school?

Pridak: All the teachers were disabled! They couldn't leave the building!

Nightslizer Moon: I want to join this evil organization!

Pridak: A FEMALE? IN AN EVIL ORGANIZATION? OUTRAGEOUS!

Nightslizer Moon: Okay then. I'll be going.

Von Nebula: Did you just refuse to accept someone?

Pridak: Of course!

 

*A portal opens up in the front lobby. Out steps a war torn Onua, an infected and anthropomorphic Boss, a plain silver robot that looks like it is made of liquid metal, and a large Pahrak Va.*

Future Onua: We must prevent out future.

Future Boss: And kill the target.

Future Pahrak Va #0579: And save the world from dirtiness!

*Furno walks in*

Furno: What in Mr. Makuhero's name?

*The silver robot transforms into Furno*

Furno: What the Makuhero City?

Future Onua: What is with all the Hero based exclamations.

*The silver robot that doesn't looks silver anymore grabs Furno and throws him into a closet.*

Future Furno: We have to go replace our present counterparts. Then throw them into this closet.

Future Boss: But none of us have keys! We won't be able to open the door!

Future Furno: It's not locked.

 

*Future Boss enters the RoboRider area*

Boss: Woah! You're me!

Future Boss: Hey, can you go to this closet and get me something from it?

Boss: Of course, me!

*Boss leaves*

Future Boss: Wait, I didn't tell him which closet or what he was supposed to get.Swamp: How long has Boss stood on two legs?

Lava: When was the last time any of us actually looked at Boss?

Gray: Hm.

Swamp: Hm.

Lava: Hm.

Gray: I think it was sometime last month.

 

*Future Furno turns into liquid and slips beneath the crack in a door.*

Stormer: Why didn't you just use the doorknob?

*Future Furno shape shifts a pair of sun glasses onto his face*

Future Furno: Cool men don't use doorknobs.

Stormer: Oh. I guess I better start punching my way through doors then.

Future Furno: Why, of course!

 

*Future Onua enters the Female Revolutionary League HQ'

Future Onua: HELYRX?

Helyrx: Hi Onua. Why are you so beat up?

*Future Onua grabs a radio.*

Future Onua: This is unit B-17864 reporting. I have found the target,

*Chiara starts bouncing around the HQ*

Chiara: BONG! BONG! BONG!

Gali: I love cake.

Gray: MAKEOVERS!

Breez: MAKEOVERS!

Luna: Then, we must calibrate the trajectory of the rocket if the angle is approximately 43 degrees, with a force of 56 miles per second...

Kiina: FOCUS! Onua is acting weird!

Chiara: Bong?

Kiina: Why are you so hyper?

Chiara: I'm a Toa of Lightning. The Element of Hyperness! Also, I ate a pound of sugar earlier.

Kiina: Say, where did Helyrx and Onua go?

 

*All the futures are chasing Helyrx, shooting and throwing stuff at her*

Helyrx: Why are you doing this?

Future Boss: To prevent you from conquering the world in the future!

*Helyrx dives into the Slizer Library*

Helyrx: I need to find a book on destroying temporal duplicates.

Torch: You mean, 'Handling the Problem of Evil Time Travel Versions of Your Friends Trying to Kill You to Prevent an Apocalypse You May or May Not Cause in the Future'?

Helyrx: Oddly specific, but that's good.

Ski: We're going to need backup to do this. Assemble the Legion.

Sub: Ski! You're back!

Helyrx: THe Legion?

Millennium: The Legion of-

Mil Hordika: WOOF! BARK! ARF WOOF ARF!

Helyrx: Sorry, didn't get that.

Millennium: The Legion of-

Millennia: I'm a biker.

Millenium: You know what? Just get all the fighters together.

 

*Some time later, all the fighters are gathered.*

Tahu: Does any one know why we are here?

Matoro: Sort of.

Kopaka: Really?

Matoro: I travelled to the future. Helyrx took over the world.

Jovan: You know what, I'm gong to align with the duplicates to be different.

Skrall: No, you don't.

*Skrall grabs Jovan and starts beating him up.*

Millennium: The instructions to the device we need to build are very complex. We need to start now.

*Pridak has been sleeping in a rocking chair*

Pridak: Wuh? Huh? Who's there?

Flare: It's just me.

Pridak: What are we doing?

Helyrx: Trying to save me from evil temporal duplicates trying to prevent an apocalypse by building a gun.

Pridak: What? Let me show you how we did this sort of thing in my day.

*The future versions burst in*

Pridak: Helyrx, if you ever decided to take over the world, think for a moment, and decide against it.

Helyrx: Okay.

*All the future versions disappear.*

Pridak: Plain and simple. None of this crazy weapon stuff.

 

*Breez, Millennium, Gali and Malum are all put in a room together.*

Millennium: Why are we all here?

Mil Hordika: WOOF!

Gali Hordika: MROW!

Malum Hordika: BOCK! BOCK!

Feral Breez: SSSSSS!

*Mil Hordika starts chasing Gali, who starts chasing Malum, who chases Breez, who chases Mil Hordika.*

Malum: BOCK! BOCK!

*Malum tried to fly, and fails.*

Gali Hordika: MROW! PURR!

 

*The Toa have gathered.*

Onua: Guys, our movie was a hit!

Lhikan: We did that like, seven chapters ago!

Onua: So? Any ideas for our next film? I'm the director, and Kopaka is the script writer.

Kopaka: Why me?

Onua: You have the highest mind.

Gali: How about Les Miserables?

Pohatu: Isn't that copyrighted?

Tahu: How about a spoof that takes place in Spain?

Kopaka: We can call it Los Felidades!

 

*This comedy has 1070 words.*

[Pahrak Model ZX]

I instantly like Pridak. Not only is he an old man, he's somehow aware of the time travel mechanics and how to use them to his advantage. Did they ever get the others out of the closet?

[Makuta of Time]

I want to see that spoof of Les Miserables. Hope Mata Nui makes an appearance.

[MT Zehvor]

This is a good comedy you have going here; Von Nebula's Wendy Oldbagness' worked out pretty well. A spoof of Les Miserables should be interesting. Looking forward to finding out where this goes.

 

-MT

[Canis Lycaon]

Chapter Fourteen:

 

Onua: So, now we begin casting.

Kopaka: I have made a major edit to the script.

Onua: Well, you are the writer.

Kopaka: See, in Les Miserables, everyone dies.

Onua: Yes. Keep going.

Kopaka: But this is Los Felicidades. Therefore, everyone who dies in Les Mis lives here, and everyone who lives there dies.

Onua: How many people live in Les Mis?

Kopaka: Let's see. Four. Cosette, Marius and the Thernadiers.

Onua: So how do they die?

Kopaka: Cosette is shot in the revolution, Marius is dragged through sewers with an open bullet wound and the Thernadiers are beaten to death by an angry mob formed of the people they stole from.

Onua: I see. Anything else?

Kopaka: I got you a beret. Can't be a director without a beret.

 

*All the fighters gather.*

Onua: We are here to assign roles.

Kopaka: Millennium, you are Juan Valjuan, the main character.

Onua: Electro, you are Javert, Juan Valjuan's main adversary.

Kopaka: Chiara, you are Fantine, the person who had a daughter and suddenly disappears from the movie without being mentioned again.

Onua: Wait, what?

Kopaka: Well, she has to live. We'll just ignore her existence.

Onua: Tahu, you are Marius, the guy in a love triangle.

Kopaka: Helyrx, you are Cossete, the person adopted by a former criminal.

Helyrx: Is this role a strong, independent woman?

Kopaka: She is killed when fighting a war.

Helyrx: Good enough!

Onua: Gali, you are Eponine, the member of the love triangle that lives.

Kopaka: Furno and Breeze, you are the Thernadiers.

Onua: Stormer, you are Enjolras.

Kopaka: Gray, you are young Cosette.

Onua: Lava, you are Gavroche.

Kopaka: Boss, you are the cameraman person guy.

Onua: Everyone else, you have minor roles.

Virus: My role blatantly contradicts my political beliefs and values.

Onua: I don't think that's possible. What are your beliefs?

Von Nebula: Anarchy.

Kopaka: Okay then. Virus, you are the cameraman, Boss, you are the production assistant.'

Boss: I get to be included! YAY!

 

*A bunch of prisoners are working.*

Electro: Work hard, you prisoners, maybe you will be freed faster.

Millennium: Hasn't my parole begun?

Electro: Oh yes, it has. You must follow to the letter, this list of instructions.

Millennium: What do they say?

*A role of paper twenty feet long roles out.*

Electro: Everything you must do in day. Exactly. Do them or face prison.

Millennium: That's crazy. I'm fleeing.

Electro: Don not break parole. You will regret it.

Millennium: Break parole? I wouldn't dream! I breaking out of jail!

*Millennium walks out a door.*

Electro: Juan Valjuan! I will search all of Spain for you!

Millennium: I do not fear you, Javert.

 

*Millennium is walking down a street five years later.*

Chiara: Help, my daughter is in danger!

Millennium: How so?

Chiara: She is being held captive by a bunch of innkeepers!

Millennium: By my name, I shall rescue her!

 

*Millennium arrives in the inn.*

Millennium: I'm here to free a young girl named Cosette!

Furno: Finally! We've been trying to get Fantine to pick her up for the past three months.

Millennium: Then ... why ... but ...

Breez: We think she has an irrational fear of innkeepers.

Gray: It's not irrational. You two are thieves.

Furno: Just go with the nice man!

 

*Fifteen years later, the Heroes and Toa are sitting around talking*

Tahu: I'm now in a live triangle.

Stormer: Guys! I have a great idea! Let's start a revolution!

Bulk: But it's the thirties. There's already a revolution!

All the Heroes: YEAH! This is a great idea! Not dangerous at all!

*The Heroes start grabbing furniture and mounding it up into a barricade.*

*The Furno, Breez, Lava, Millennium, Gali, and Helyrx arrive.*

Millennium: We will join you!

*The Colation of World Domination arrives.*

Von Nebula: We are the government! One more day to revolution. We will nip it in the bud. We'll be ready for these Heroes. They will wet themselves with oil.

Electro: That is my line!

*Stormer starts to wave a flag*

Stormer: We will stand and will sing! We will fight for freedom's might!

Millennium: That's a Mexican flag. We're in Spain.

Stormer: Sing! Sing! Ignore the flag!

*Everyone starts singing.*

Breez: We've stolen so much!

Pohatu: Wait, you've been stealing from all of us!

Mata Nui: Let's get them!

*Breez and Furno are killed by an angry mob.*

Helyrx: I will fight for the rebels!

Tahu: And I will too!

*Helyrx and Tahu are shot by the Coalition of World Domination. Helyrx dies.*

Millennium: I'll drag you though the sewers to get you to a hospital!

 

*Millennium emerges to face Electro.*

Electro: I have found you. I will kill you.

Millennium: The government is corrupt!

Electro: You're right! I am conflicted between my morals and my duty! I'll jump off a bridge!

Millennium: We can talk about this!

Electro: You're right! I wish I hadn't jumped off this bridge!

Millennium: You can brace yourself to absorb the fall!

Electro: Wait, I can fly!

*Electro flies up.*

Millennium: Now to take Marius here to a hospital.

Electro: He's dead. He died from an infected wound.

Millennium: Oh. Say, I just realized Fantine was never seen after she told me to save her daughter.

 

Onua: Hm. I think it was rushed.

Kopaka: Very rushed.

Onua: Hey, who cares?

 

Pahrak #0579: So, let's go over the list of stuff that can happen next in the comedy.

Kopaka: Film a Horror Movie.

Millennium: Go on a road trip.

Onua: Get invaded by Bio Battle Arena.

Electro: And who are they?

Loganto: I am Loganto! This is Jalicax. That guy over there is Cabo! We appeared in Chapter Twelve! Our text was invisible!

Onua: Why are you so small?

Loganto: We were made with the Nanonicle Kit.

Cabo: I don't like you guys.

Jalicax: Of course! You have the element of shadow.

Electro: How do you expect to invade us? You're tiny.

Loganto: With this!

*Loganto blasts air at the five people who are chatting.*

Millennium: Does anyone else feel a slight breeze?

Onua: Barely. It's so light.

Jalicax: Oh yeah, take this!

*Jalicax blasts fire at the five*

Kopaka: Did the temperature just go up one degree?

*A portal opens up. Out steps three figures.*

Hahli Husky: Here we are. The Technic Coliseum: After Hours topic.

Velox: I'd never thought we'd leave the Games & Trivia forum.

Sumiki: Loganto, Jalicax and Cabo! You have broken out of a closed topic! We are here to take you into custody!

Loganto: NOOO!!!

*The author appears.*

Canis: I am taking Cabo as my author avatar.

Sumiki: Okay. We'll just take Loganto and Jalicax.*

Pahrak #0579: What just happened?

Kopaka: We gained an author avatar.

 

*This comedy has 1117 words.*

Edited June 9, 2013 by Canis Lupus

[Pahrak Model ZX]

Still haven't seen Les Mis, so I'm not entirely sure what's going on for most of the chapter. The mention of Bio Battle Arena was a surprise, and I see we got a new character out of the deal. These ideas sound interesting--can't wait to see what you pick.

[Makuta of Time]

Wow, I never expected the Great Spirit to be the one in the mob. Was pretty good with the staff and other BZP members.

[Canis Lycaon]

Chapter Fifteen:

 

Cabo: Wow. Fifteen chapters. Big milestone, don't you think.

Pahrak #0579: It is.

Cabo: Am I going to do anything special?

Pahrak #0579: That sentence made no sense.

Cabo: My head hurts.

Pahrak #0579: Just be glad Canis: Author Incarnate and the head of Canis Corporation aren't here.

Cabo: Three of me in one spot. That would be bad.

*Pahrak Va #0579 runs in.*

Pahrak Va #0579: DAD! I have something for you!

Pahrak #0579: A Father's Day gift?

Pahrak Va #0579: No, just a letter from Canis.

Cabo: Somehow, I know what that letter says and I have no clue what it says at the same time.

*They open up the letter.*

Pahrak #0579: Hm. Hm. So, all the sponsors want the fighters to participate in a massive race around the world?

Cabo: We had better go tell everyone.

 

*All the fighters gather.*

Pahrak #0579: The teams will be the following: Coalition of World Domination, Female Revolutionary League, Toa, Glatorian, RoboRiders, Slizers and Heroes.

Kopaka: We Toa are going to film a horror movie during the time of the race.

Onua: We will not participate.

Tahu: What will it be called?

Kopaka: 'Irnakk Unleashed: Return of the Fear-Monger of Zakaz That Terrorized the Residents for So Many Years Before It was Trapped in a Rock Wall until a Bunch of Idiots Freed Him and Were Killed by Him, and Was Only Stopped When Their Sensible Friend Lured Irnakk Into His Dreams and Then Killed Him There.'

Stormer: That is a really long title.

Bulk: That also gives away the entire plot.

I'm staying here.

Surge: I still can't get over the fact that Nex is color coded.

Von Neabula: Villains! We have work on our vehicles!

Lava: Who exactly is the leader of the RoboRiders?

Millennium: Could the Slizers and RoboRiders merge?

Cabo: Why not? You're small enough.

 

*The Female Revolutionary League is meeting.*

Helyrx: So, the vehicle will have a central giant hamster wheel that Gali will run in.

Kiina: Then, Chiara will use her powers to power a secondary engine.

Gray: And my suit will pull the vehicle ahead.

Luna: And I will perform the calculations to make it work.

 

*The Slizers and RoboRiders are sitting around.*

Millennium: The RoboRider mechs, and I will pull it ahead.

Boss: I will split into three.

Lava: You can do that?

Boss: Yeah...

Swamp: I don't believe it. Next, you'll be telling me that you can turn into a jet and a motorcycle at the same time!

Boss: I can do that.

*Boss does both.*

Ski: Wow. That was ... odd.

 

*The Coalition is meeting.*

Von Nebula: What are we going to use in the race?

Electro: Out escape vehicles.

Blaster: What escape vehicles?

Energy: The ones mentioned in the second chapter, of course!

Granite: We have never used those.

Kopaka: We need Pridak to play some typical old guy roles.

Pridak: WHAT?

Kopaka: We need to play a role in our movie.

Pridak: WHAT?

Kopaka: We need you to act.

Pridak: WHAT? IS THIS MY HEARING AID? I THINK IT IS! What were you saying?

 

*The Heroes.*

Stormer: And we will use tanks.

Furno: Why?

Stormer: Cool men use tanks as cars.

Bulk: Yeah.

*Everyone puts on sunglasses.*

 

*The non-fighters scene.*

Cabo: So, we're racing?

Pahrak #0579: Yes.

Cabo: What are we using?

Pahrak #0579: Allow me to introduce you to the ... Cleaner of All Terrains!

*A giant street sweeper is unveiled.*

Pahrak #0579: Like a street sweeper. But better.

Cabo: It just had to be cleaning related, didn't it.

 

*This comedy has 592 words.*

[Pahrak Model ZX]

I like the title of the movie. Horror movies never really appealed to me...

 

These are some interesting ideas they're getting for their vehicles--I see they all want to incorporate their specific powers and abilities. But no one will be able to outrace the Cleaner of All Terrains!!

[Makuta of Time]

But what is it? Twin Turbo V-12 Street Sweeper? How fast will it go?

[Hexann]

Gresh: Kiina did you get my car- Why are you crying?

 

Grash: I do!

Gresh has an alternate personality too!

Edited June 18, 2013 by Damaracx 7.0

[Makuta of Time]

That's probably a typo. Also I'm trying to figure out who is Cabo.

[Hexann]

That's probably a typo. Also I'm trying to figure out who is Cabo.

I know XD.

 

Alright, time for some real commentary.

 

I must say I'm really like this series! I'm waiting for someone to tell Skrall that most generic people aren't obsessed with being generic. XD

Edited June 19, 2013 by Damaracx 7.0

[Phoenixian Wraith]

I'd just like to say, that from now on, Lava's rider is gonna be called Warden in my comment-segments. Wether Canis does this or not is up to him, and this is my choice.

 

*Is sitting at desk in office with a fedora perched over face, snoring very very lightly*

Secretary: Sir.

Me: *mumbling* Th' e'gl' to'k y'r fr'm'n' f'sh...

Secretary: Sir!

Me: Gah! Ugh, wha'? *Fedora falls onto the desk*

Secretary: Both Miss Kiina and Mister Warden are here to see you.

Me: A'right, send 'em up.

 

-Three minutes later-

 

Kiina and Warden: Afternoon, sir!

Me: Whatcha want?

 

Kiina: The Venom, a raise, a vacation, money for the upcoming race for parts, world peace, end to famine, war and disease, three chickens and a new toaster.

Me: When I can, I'll think about it, same as before, depends on how much, I have no control on that, so do I, don't have anymore and you broke the last one because you electrocuted yourself trying to clean it for when Gresh dropped by last week.

Kiina: Okay, okay, okay, I'll get back to you on that, don't you know a guy, why don't you, why not and I maintain it blew itself up when Pahrak did his little cleanfreak act.

Me: Long as the other sponsors put some cash in that's okay, no, I don't, I'm not a leader, I'm just a CO, I ain't ordering livestock and we both know that Pahrak woulda got scrapped if he got anywhere NEAR your room. Now, Lava?

 

Lava: Access to Phoenix Inc.'s Design and Manufacture room, with all equipment necessary for the building of a racer that's sure to win.

Me: Done. Just leave my stuff alone, don't use up too much material and keep your friends out of the restricted zones. That all?

Lava and Kiina: Yes sir.

Me: Right. Dismissed.

*They leave. Something sparkles slightly*

Me: Hmm? What's this... *Pulls something from behind a couch, which turns out to be a mini-disc sized camera*

Me: Either someone's spying on me... or I have some weird employees.

 

-Meanwhile-

 

Gray: HAH! I knew his name was Warden!

[Canis Lycaon]

I am not counting Lava's name as Warden. That is more of a nickname. I'll think of some way to explain in the the story.

Cabo would be my fighter from a short lived game Technic Coliseum spinoff called Bio Battle Arena.

[moochfloatjr]

This comedy's really good! I like how Furno's written, and I have a suggestion to make for a potential chapter/arc- turf war between the wings! And by turf war, I mean a pillow fight to determine the best group of fighters in the arena!

[Phoenixian Wraith]

 

I am not counting Lava's name as Warden. That is more of a nickname. I'll think of some way to explain in the the story.

 

Aright.

[Canis Lycaon]

Chapter Sixteen:

 

*The Glatorian are meeting.*

Mata Nui: This is scandalous! We have been cheated out of a scene!

Gresh: He just forgot about us.

Mata Nui: Are there any other Glatorian?

Gresh: Well, there are Kiina, Strack, Skrall, and Malum, but they’re all evil. Or female.

Malum: So what are we going to use for a vehicle?

Mata Nui: A Thornatus.

Gresh: Don’t you think that will be a little small?

Mata Nui: There are only two of us. I think it will be sufficient.

Gresh: Good point.

Onua: On your marks, get set, go!

*The Dropships, tanks, Cleaner of All Terrains, Slizer/RoboRider chariot, and the Thornatus take off*

Kopaka: The first stop is the Coliseum. Jovan will give you tasks there!

Cabo: Is sabotage of other people’s vehicles allowed?

Jovan: Of course it is! What kind of extreme race do you think this is?

Skrall: Why aren’t you making a movie with the other Toa?

Jovan: Because, I act differently from everyone else!

Strack: Skrall! Calm down before you do something you regret!

Skrall: Let me get the original! Just one punch! C’Mon! C’Mon!

*The Dropships arrive first to the Coliseum, followed by the Cleaner of All Terains. Then comes the Slizer/RoboRider chariot, then the Thornatus. The come the Female Revolutionary League … thing and the tanks*

Jovan: Welcome! The first task is a regular fight. Hand to hand combat, no elemental powers. Authors vs. Villains, Slizers/RoboRiders vs. Glatorians, Females vs. Heroes. Choose your fighters!

Pahrak #0579: I will fight for the authors.

Nidhiki: I volunteer as the fighter for the villains.

Von Nebula: Nidhiki! You’re still alive!

Nidhiki: There was doubt?

Von Nebula: You’ve had two lines in the past seven chapters?

Nidhiki: Wait a minute. I’m incredibly self absorbed. The Toa are making a movie. I could star in it. I could become incredibly famous.

Blaster: Please tell me you’re not think what I think you are.

*Nidhiki runs off screaming like an excited fangirl.*

Flare: Uh, guys? I’m Class D. Shouldn’t I fight?

Electro: I’m Class E too. I should fight.

Von Nebula: Calm down! Let me count up the two of your stat totals.

*Von pulls out an abacus.*

Von Nebula: Oh wait, Electro is higher. He is a Class above you.

Millennium: As another Class E, I will fight.

Mata Nui: As I am slightly stronger than Gresh, I will fight.

Breez: Now, I am Class C.

Gali: So am I!

Helyrx: Calm down! I’ll work this out.

*Heyrx pulls out an abacus.*

Helyrx: By a difference of four points, Breez is stronger.

Stormer: Furno is the strongest. He will represent us!

Furno: I’m not so sure about this.

Bulk: Come on, you love Mortal VVombat! How different could this be?

Furno: You’re right. I will try!

Pahrak #0579 and Electro enter into a round, circular, non-rectangular, ring-shaped, redundant arena. The first thing either of the fighters does is Electro remarks, “Wow. Prose.” Then, his opponent, while rolled up into a ball, rams into him. Electro tries to fly, but is hit again. The Bohrok starts bouncing on top of Electro, while the Slizer cries in pain. Then, the servant of the Bahrag unfurls and slams a shield into Electro’s head, knocking out his opponent. Jovan flies out, grabs Pahrak #0579’s hand and yells, “We have a winner!”

*Pahrak #0579 walks back.*

Cabo: Wow. How did you do that?

Pahrak #0579: I’m Class AA.

Cabo: You’re between A and B?

Pahrak #0579: NO! I’m after Z!

Cabo: Wow. I’m Class...

*Cabo pulls out an abacus.*

Pahrak #0579: What is with all the abacuses?

Cabo: … I’m Class -A.

Pahrak #0579: Negative?!

Cabo: Yeah. I am the strongest in Bio Battle, though.

Next up, Millennium and Mata Nui face off. Mata Nui tries to blast Millennium with lasers, but the Slizer Titan just absorbs them. Millennium walks up to Mata Nui and punches the Glatorian in the face. Mata Nui is knocked unconscious in one blow by Millennium.

Furno and Breez run at each other, but then Furno stops to say, “But Breez is my girlfriend. I can’t beat her up...” Then, Breez continues running up to him and proceeds to beat him up.

Jovan: So, the first to leave will be the Authors, then the Villains, then the Slizer/RoboRiders, then Glatorians, followed by Females, and finally Heroes. The next stop will be an obscure outpost in the Ice Continent on the Slizer/Throwbot planet. GO!

*Back at the Technic Coliseum*

Kopaka: Thanks to the unsponsored Thok for agreeing to play Irnakk!

Onua: Let us begin scene one with the opening characters; Lhikan, Norik, Lesovikk and Pridak: The Original Protectors of Zakaz and Thok, Irnakk.

*Setting: An icy wasteland.*

Irnakk: I see your fears!

For what you shed tears.

I will hunt you all!

You won’t be small!

I speak in rhyme!

I committed a crime!

You created me!

Can’t you be a bee?

The script writers

Can’t write a song... iters.

Lhikan: With this Makoki Stone, we will seal you into the ice of the North!

Norik: Where we have led you!

Lesovikk: Now, we activate it!

*Thok/Irnakk is sealed into the rock.*

Pridak: Now, our great grand children wouldn’t be idiotic enough to release him, right?

Lhikan: Nah. Of course they wouldn’t.

*A bunch of Toa have set up a bunch of tents on the ice. Tahu enters a tent*

Tahu: Nidhiki, sir, fabulous leader of this expedition?

Nidhiki: What is it?

Tahu: It looks like a giant golden Skakdi.

Nidhiki: It must be Irnakk! He was revered as the God of Fear to the Skakdi!

Tahu: I thought they were monotheistic.

Nidhiki: He killed all the other gods.

*The two walk out and look at the figure.*

Nidhiki: Can we get him out?

Tahu: Yes. But the decision is whether or not we want to. He is a very dangerous for-

Nidhiki: You two! Matoro and Nuju! Thaw him out!

Pridak: Don’t do that! We didn’t think you would be this stupid!

Nidhiki: Shut up, old man.

Pridak: How dare you disrespect your elders!

Tahu: You know what? I’m going to get out of here before it gets bad.

Nidhiki: Scaredy cat!

Tahu: The number two bad decision in a horror movie is staying where whatever the thing that is creepy is.

Nidhiki: Oh yeah? What’s number one?

Tahu: Splitting up.

Pridak: Wait for me, you young whippersnapper!

*Irnakk is unfrosted.*

Irnakk: I have been unleashed?

I will not be leashed.

Who will I kill?

This one, with a chill!

*Irnakk kills Takanuva.*

Nidhiki: Ever notice how minorities always die in horror movies?

Pohatu: We should totally split up right now.

Lewa: You said it!

*Everyone runs away from each other.*

*Matoro and Nuju meet up in a tent.*

Matoro: I think we’re safe in this not sound-proof, incredibly thin tent with the door left open.

Nuju: You said it.

Matoro: Do you think we should call the police that are less than a mile away in their own Arctic installation?

Nuju: Nah, I think we have this under control here.

*Irnakk bursts through the wall of the tent.*

Nuju: AHHHHHH!!!!!

Irnakk: What do you hate?

What? The number eight?

*A swarm of numbers eights swarm Nuju and kill him.*

Irnakk: How about you?

The color blue?

Man, you have some odd fears.

These really stop one’s gears.

*Matoro turns blue and dies.*

*Pohatu runs up to a truck and gets in.*

Pohatu: The car! It won’t start! This is terrible.

Irnakk: The key is on the dashboard.

I am quite bored.

Pohatu: I don’t think that’s why it won’t start.

Irnakk: You are quite stupid.

You have a fear of Cupid?

*A cherub pops out of nowhere and shoots Pohatu through the heart.*

*Lewa and Nidhiki grab a bunch of weapons.*

Lewa: Hey! Irnakk! Meet my little friend!

Nidhiki: And mine! The rocket launcher!

*They firing at Irnakk. There is no effect.*

Irnakk: Hah! Weapons of the mortals

Will not harm me. I came through some portals.

Nidhiki: Well, we’re dead.

Irnakk: I see you fear dogs.

And you fear … logs?

Lewa: Or frogs.

Nidhiki: Or clogs.

Lewa: Or fogs.

Nidhiki: Or hogs.

*A bunch of canines, chopped trees, amphibians, wooden shoes, mist and pigs swarm Lewa and Nidhiki.*

*Tahu comes back.*

Pridak: To kill Irnakk, you must use this!

Tahu: What is it?

Pridak: A copy of the script and a marker.

Tahu: So I have to write him out of the script?

Pridak: Yes, you do.

Tahu: So, I’ll just black out all of his scenes after this and put a little thing here saying he dies for no reason.

*Irnakk dies for no reason.*

Pridak: Your handwriting is weird!

Kopaka: I think we got it.

*This comedy has 1452 words.*

Edited June 23, 2013 by Canis Lupus

[Pahrak Model ZX]

Funny thing is, that's actually what I intend to do if we need to go beyond Class Z! I wonder what the next challenges in the race will be...

 

Irnakk is simultaneously terrifying and funny. Nicely done! Pointing out the staples of the horror genre is also a good touch.

[Phoenixian Wraith]

Exo, if we hit the Z+ Mark, what would the combined stats add up to?

[Pahrak Model ZX]

The upper limit of Class Z would be 359 (assuming I did my math right...), so that would be pretty monstrous.

[Canis Lycaon]

Chapter Seventeen:

 

*The Toa and Nex are sitting using electronic devices.*

Pridak: They think they are so happy. Well, just wait!

*Pridak leaves and comes back with a pair of wire cutters and a box labeled: Power Supply.*

Tahu: Hey, why did my charging light go off?

Lesovikk: Never mind it. Just keep on playing our games!

Norik: And the lights?

Pridak: KIDS THESE DAYS! ALWAYS ON THEIR ENERGETIC DEVICES!

Takanuva: It's electronic.

Pridak: Electricity, energy. What's the difference!

*All the electronic devices go off. Pridak leaves.*

Kopaka: AHH! None of our devices have a charge!

???: Let's play a game.

Onua: That's what the insane guy in the horror movies always says!

Pohatu: And the games always something like 'Choose-which-one-of-your-friends-you-want-to-die-and-which-you-want-to-live'

Lewa: Or 'Choose-lever-A-or-B. Both-will-killl-you,-but-I-say-one-will-save-you.'

Jaller: This one's a favorite. 'Kill-everyone-around-you-in-a-massive-death-match'

Nidhiki: So which 'game' do you want to play?

*Pridak walks about of the shadows holding a box.*

Pridak: Monopoly!

*Everyone's jaws drop and stare at Pridak dumbstruck.*

Pridak: You don't want to play Monopoly? Then how about,

-Clue!

-Chutes and Laddders?

-Life?

-Monopoly: LEGO Edition?

-Sorry?

-Risk?

-Trivial Pursuit?

You know what? That last ones so old and boring I don't know how to play it.

*Pridak takes out a flamethrower and lights the Trivial Pursuit box on fire.*

Lhikan: You know, Pridak's actually somewhat scary when he's not being a stereotypical old man.

Kopaka: Let's just play Monopoly.

 

*The villains are in their dropship.*

Blaster: Sir, I don't think you'll like what the weather meter is reading.

Von Nebula: Well, what is it reading?

Blaster: There are high wind speeds, flying icicles, and we're about to crash.

Electro: Actually, we're crashing as we speak!

Virus: HAH! You will all be cold, but robots like me don't!

Von Nebula: I'm a robot too.

Virus: Oh. Hey, would anyone mind if I infected them with the ... THE VIRUS?

Granite: I had really hoped you had stopped doing that.

*The dropship crashes into a mountain, causing an avalanche, which closes up the valley, trapping all the other racers in the valley.*

Sub: So cold. So cold.

Mata Nui: We have to stick together if we want to live!

Furno: Everyone! Scrap the vehicles to make shelters.

Pahrak #0579: You can forget about scrapping the Cleaner of All Terrains!

Cabo: We're out!

*The authors get in the Cleaner of All Terrains and drive away, the Cleaner acting as a snowplow and pushing the snow away. The snow then falls back into position.*

Stormer: Don't worry! I have an emergency radio! I'll just call.

*Stormer calls and talks for a couple of minutes.*

Stormer: Good news and bad news. The good news is that they are coming to rescue us. The bad news is that they won't get here until three.

Bulk: That's not so bad.

Stormer: Next Monday.

 

*One Monday later, a bunch of dropships arrive.*

Random Hero #75793769: Don't worry, we're here to rescue you!

Random Hero #45334395: We'll take you and you're vehicles to the place you should be at in the race!

 

*Everyone arrives at the Slizer Dome.*

Jovan: And the next place you will have to go to and the next task is...

Virus: Infect all of the RoboRider planet with ... THE VIRUS!?!

Jovan: Enter the Citadel and retrieve part of Von Nebula's cape.

Von Nebula: I don't have a cape. And what is the Citadel?

Furno: Only an alternate universe where you're the ruler of the world. Oh yeah, and Brains are much worse.

Von Nebula: I know what I must do!

Flare: Is it beat up your alternate dimension counterpart and take his place?

Von Nebula: Maybe.

 

*Everyone arrives in the Citadel. The villains just walk forward. Pahrak #0579 glares at the Citadel villains and they jump out of his way. The Heroes, Females, Glatorians, and Slizers/RoboRiders start fighting forward.*

Von Nebula: Hello, me.

Citadel Von Nebula: You're me!

Von Nebula: I'm here to kill you!

Citadel Von Nebula: I don't think so.

*Citadel Von Nebula shoves a piece of fabric into Von Nebula's hands, pulls out a portal gun and shoots Von Nebula with it.*

Citadel Von Nebula: Go back to your own universe.

Pahrak #0579: Give me some of your cape.

Citadel Von Nebula: Just take it and go! AHH!

*Citadel Von Nebula runs away screaming.*

Cabo: Why is everyone so afraid of you?

 

*Sometime later, everyone gets back to the Slizer Dome.*

Jovan: The final task is...

Helyrx: Enough with the dramatic pausing!

Jovan: And actual race in the RoboRider City Realm!

 

*Everyone goes there.*

Virus: I will race for the villains. And ... THE VIRUS!

Boss: I will race for the Slizers/RoboRiders.

Gray: Me for the Female Revolutionary League.

Pahrak #0579: I for me and Cabo.

Gresh: I will run for the Glatorian.

Rocka: And I will run for the Heroes.

Jovan: Who ever wins this race wins the entire race around the world! On your marks. Get ready. Get set. GO!

And they're off. This is a wonderful race here. Right now Pahrak's in the lead. And oh! Pahrak has finished before anyone else even got a quarter of the way around the field. Now, Boss is pulling ahead, but Virus has latched some virus tendrils onto him and has swung him into Gray! Gresh is running incredibly slowly, and Rocka is only a little bit ahead of him! Gray has managed to use her Psionics powers to fly ahead, but Virus is catching up! But then, Boss jumps out of his cycle, climbs onto Virus and is in the front, hanging on! And Virus has just blasted Gray! Gray's out of control! Virus makes past the finish line! Boss beats Virus because he was hanging out in front! Gray has recovered and made it past the finish line!

*Twenty minutes later.*

And Rocka has passed the finish line. And Gresh follows him.

Pahrak #0579: That was fun, but it is time to go home.

 

*Everyone gets back to find Pridak having everyone's belongings.*

Von Nebula: What happened?

Pridak: The Toa decided to play Monopoly for keeps. I won.

 

*This comedy has 1009 words.*

[Pahrak Model ZX]

The biggest surprise in this chapter is that they actually finished a game of Monopoly. Bold move on the part of Pridak. Also nice to know that I can intimidate even an AU Ruler!

[Canis Lycaon]

Well, Ninjamonkey, I'm taking your idea. Sort of. You'll see in the Chapter.

If you're reading this, please post. I just get discouraged when only Pahrak replies.

Chapter Eighteen:

 

*Matoro is waling down the hallway.*

Granite: So the boss said we needed to soak some one with these water guns.

Jet: This is going to be so good.

Matoro: I'm quite glad no one is trying to blast me with water guns.

Granite: SHOOT 'IM!

Matoro: Augh! I'm going to stay here while you run away!

Granite: Thats so cliché!

Matoro: That's right. You should throw me into a closet.

Jet: Say, didn't a situation nearly identical to this happen six chapters ago?

Granite: You're right.

*Matoro runs away.*

Jet: We need to do something different.

Granite: Totally. Say, where did Matoro go?

Matoro: To incite WAR!

Jet: That's a little harsh, don't you think!

Matoro: OF WATER!

 

*Matoro bursts into the Toa place.*

Kopaka: Why are you so wet?

Matoro: I was ambushed by the Coalition.

Onua: With what? An acid gun?

Matoro: Water guns. We must activate 'Ga's Legacy'.

Tahu: I have the vault key right here.

Lesovikk: And I have the specific room key.

*Tahu walks over to a door and opens up the door to reveal a hallway lined with other doors. Lesovikk walks down to a door and stands by it.*

Lesovikk: Are you sure this is what you want to do, Matoro?

Matoro: I am sure.

Tahu: WAIT! EVERYBODY STOP!

Norik: What?! Is something wrong?!

Tahu: If I'm a Toa of Shadow, shouldn't I be called Whiru?

Lewa: Where do you get that from?

Kopaka: And shouldn't I be Heauni?

Pohatu: Just tell us where you're getting this!

Whiru: The BZPRPG, duh!

Heauni: We're using these names now.

Takanuva: What relevance did that have to opening the water vault?

Tah Whiru: None.

*Everyone but Tahu and Kopaka- _{I'm sorry. Whiru and Heauni. There! You happy? Grumble.}- sigh.

Nuju: What the Karz just happened? Did the narrator grumble and show emotion?

*Yeah I did. You got a problem with that?*

Nuju: Yeah I do. Narrators aren't supposed to talk to their comedies!

*Nuju was struck by lightning.*

Nuju: Very mature.

Matoro: Less talky and more water gun grabby!

 

*Granite and Jet enter the old room underneath the arenas.*

Virus: Can I infect you with ... THE VIRUS!?

Granite: NO! The Toa are preparing for war.

Von Nebula: What?!

Jet: Of water.

Blaster: Where will we get water to fight back?

Pridak: Are you thick? There's a shark tank right there, and our leader lives in the boiler room.

Flare: Let's get ready for war.

Chiara: War?

Pridak: AH! A female enters! BE GONE!

Flare: Don't worry! Just water war!

Chiara: Okay! Here is the Vahki Staff I borrowed!

 

*In the Female Revolutionary League Headquarters.*

Luna: Here are the blueprints for the Ontario Project I worked out.

Kiina: With a name like that, our progress will certainly be covered! Nothing exciting ever happens in Canada!

Helyrx: But in the meantime, we will have to prepare to fight back.

Gray: I will turn my cycle into a remotely controlled robot of doom! I mean water. I don't now what got into me.

*Furno bursts in.*

Furno: Breez! What is the cheat code to Mortal VVombat that gets you a super awesome ending move again?

Breez: UP-DOWN-LEFT-LEFT-LEFT-RIGHT-RIGHT-LEFT-LEFT-LEFT-DOWN-UP.

Furno: Thanks. Say, why are so many of you blue?

*Helyrx looks around.*

Helyrx: I ... dont know.

Breez: Furno, can you go? We're planning for a water war.

Furno: Okay. I'm enlisting the Heros.

 

*Furno walks into the Hero place.*

Furno: Hi guys. We have to prepare for a water fight.

Stormer: We're not using guns. No, we're only using water balloons.

Bulk: Why?

Stormer: Cool men don't use guns. They only use grenades.

*Everyone puts on sunglasses.*

Everyone but Nex: Yeah.

 

*In the RoboRider place.*

Millennium: Thanks for letting us use this place as the shared base. The library has too much paper.

Swamp: No problem.

Lava: Here are our water guns.

Ski: Let's get ready to fight.

Sub: I'll put in water to the guns.

 

*Torch, Gresh, Chiara, Evo, and Amazon enter into the Naho Bay arena.*

Gresh: Let's finish this.

*Everyone starts firing water guns except for Evo, who is throwing water balloons.*

Chiara: FALL!

Amazon: Never!

Torch: Take this! HA! Take that!

 

*Nightslizer Moon walks into the RoboRider place.*

Nightslizer Moon: Millennia! I need to tell you something. I don't have much time!

Millennia: What is it?

Nightslizer Moon: My comrades ... they're developing a weapon of mass hydration.

*Nightslizer runs away.*

Millennium: This is bad.

 

*This comedy has 741 words.*

[Makuta of Time]

If those names are your BZPRPG characters, I can see why they're here. But the randomness of it being told before they opened the room just made me laugh. So did you striking Nuju with Lightning,

[Canis Lycaon]

Mine? No no no. See, the Toa Mata failed to defeat Makuta, and then he corrupted them, changed their names, and made their element Shadow. Whiru and Heauni are Tahu and Kopaka's new names respectively.

[Shadowhawk]

 

If you're reading this, please post. I just get discouraged when only Pahrak replies.

 

I'm reading it. Been one of the most amusing BIONICLE-related comedies I've ever seen, which really isn't saying much, as I've only ever bothered to look at one or two. :PHonestly though, I think Malum Hordika is under-appreciated. I mean, couldn't you find a role for a deranged Lava Ape guy with the "most awesome banner this side of that big heap of charred remains an-- GREAT BEINGS PRESERVE US! THERE'S ANOTHER ONE! I'LL KILL IT! I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS, BUT IT'S ALIVE AND I'LL KILL IT! I'LL RIP IT TO SHREDS AND BURN THE SHREDS INTO THINGS THAT RESEMBLE SECOND-HAND HOCKEY PUCKS! I'LL CRUSH IT! I'LL KILL IT! I'LL SMASH IT! I'LL TAKE ITS LUNCH MONEY! I'LL-- *flexes muscles, beats chest, and begins roaring incoherently*"

Edited July 4, 2013 by Shadowhawk

[Pahrak Model ZX]

Oh Nuju, arguing with the narrator never ends well for the character! It's a nice joke, though. I also like the quick jab at Canada, because...Canada. They're making an awfully big deal about this water war...but I do have to wonder, what else is in this vault?

[Canis Lycaon]

Shadowhawk, Malum is a bird, not an ape. Specifically, and ostrich.

 

Chapter Nineteen:

 

*Millennia, Sub and Swamp are walking down the hallway.*

Sub: The Ontario Project must be stopped. Or else the entire arena will be flooded.

Swamp: We are approaching Hero teritorry. Stay vigilant.

Millennia: Why?

Scuba: The Heroes have booby trapped the floors of their halls with water balloons.

Furno: People! Fire!

*There is no one but Furno there.*

Furno: Oh. Well, I'll still fire.

Sub: We need to stop the females from completing the Ontario Project!

Furno: But it's Ontario! Nothing ever happens in Canada!

 

*The group of four enter the service tunnels.*

Swamp: This is where the authors are, right?

Furno: Yes. And their armies.

*A swarm of blue Bohrok burst in and surround the team.*

Gahdoks #0001-#9999: We have you now.

Furno: Quickly! Up this ladder right here!

Millennia: Where does it lead!?

Scuba: Away from the Gahdok!

*Everyone climbs up.*

Gahdoks #0001-#9999: Curse the stupid body shape that prevents us from climbing ladders.

*Pahrak #0579 and Cabo walk out.*

Pahrak #0579: No! They have escaped me and my armies!

Gahdok #0579: Sisters. Not army.

Cabo: You do realize I can climb ladders, right?

Pahrak #0579: Then go! Capture them!

*Cabo climbs up onto the first rung, stands up, and grabs the next rung, the pulls himself up.*

Pahrak #0579: Well, he can climb ladders, one rung at a time. Why is he so small?

Cabo: I was made with the Nanonicle kit!

 

*The four arrive in the Female Revolutionary League Headquarters.*

Millennia: Stop! You will never set off your weapon of mass hydration!

Helyrx: It is too late. We will stop you.

Sub: How does this thing work, anyways?

Luna: We have weaponized all the water dispersion systems in the premises.

Kiina: And all we have to do is press this button!

*Helyrx presses the button.*

Sub: NO!

Furno: I must flee! Too much water! I'm fire!

Cabo: I'm too late? Dang. We're going to have to go to the backup location.

Chiara: There is a backup location?

Cabo: Yeah. It's in the woods, got lots of nice cabins, a lake, boats, maybe an old schooner, and there is a chance it has one or two or more or a lot of typical horror movie type things. Like monsters, serial killers, maybe sharks in the lake released by serial killers into the lake, maybe, just maybe mutant monster sharks released onto the land by mass murders.

Gali: Onto the land?

Cabo: Yeah. They would have legs from their mutations.

Gray: Why is the Ontario Project taking so long to activate?

*Luna kicks the button.*

*Water comes from every direction and floods the entire arena, wiping it into nothing.*

 

*A couple buses pull up in front of where the Coliseum used to be.*

Pahrak #0579: Everyone, get onto your bus.

Helyrx: Why do all of the Female Revolutionary League have to hang onto the side of the one of the buses? Specifically, the Coalition of World Domination's buses? They'll be trying to kick us off the bus the whole ride!

Pridak: Sharp pokey things for poking females! Get your sharp pokey things here!

Pahrak #0579: I don't know, you only destroyed the arena.

Kiina: Why did we even want to build the Ontario Project in the first place?

Luna: We were under the false assumption that the device's activation would directly follow into a success.

Tahu: Von Nebula?

Von Nebula: Yes?

Kopaka: Me and Tahu are betraying the Toa and joining the the Coalition.

Von Nebula: Accepted! Say, weren't you calling yourselves Whiru and Heauni?

Tahu: It would be too confusing for new readers.

Nuju: No! The leader to our posse is evil!

 

*The buses arrive. The females fall off the bus.*

Pridak: Consider those pokes well spent.

Von Nebula: You said it.

Pridak: Is that a schooner! Trimasted? Sails?

Granite: Why is Pridak acting all fanboy-ish?

 

FLASHBACK!

*Pridak is standing in a port with a couple other Barraki.*

Pridak: With these ships, we will rule the world!

Ehlek: You said it.

END FLASHBACK!

 

Amazon: That was oddly short.

Virus: So did you rule the world?

Pridak: I did.

Tahu: Really?!

Pridak: But those darn regents said I was too crazy and old to rule the world and kicked me out of my job!

Electro: I don't believe it.

Pridak: Oh, and there is also the fact that I might have faked my death to avoid the paparazzi. And then written myself out of history. Anyways, we will use the schooner to rule the lake! We will raid paddle boats.

Malum: BOCK! BOCK!

Strack: You know, raiding paddle boats is a bit ... small.

 

*This comedy has 766 words.*