Bionicle IV: The Smiting

[Voltex]

Bionicle Mafia IV: The Smiting

 

The deceased soul of iBrow Voltex (oh, the poor Matoran, what else was he supposed to do?) sat mournfully at his Microsoft Computer-for-the-Dead model X118. Considering the lack of communication he’d received that day rather disappointing (especially after that nasty last lynching; what a mistake, what a mistake), he was just about to leave when a new message popped up onto his computer.

 

Discovered why Zakaro postponed that lynching session. – Agent Ph. D. In Not-Actually-Medical Medical Science.

 

That got iBrow’s attention. Although due to copyright laws he was unable to reveal the other Matoran’s name, he was fairly certain that he was indeed the Medic. About 60% sure.

 

It didn’t matter. What did matter was Zakaro’s reasoning for delaying the lynching, thus stranding them in this stupid floating city even longer. Usually, iBrow could find heights tolerable, but even as a dead guy spending this long up in the air was giving his belly the constant heebie-jeebies.

 

Whatever those were. He pushed his mind back on topic and smacked several keys into a sentence.

 

You did? How did that happen? – Mr. Dead Person.

 

After glancing over it once to make sure he hadn’t forgotten any periods (oh, he hated missing periods sooooo much), iBrow hit the send button, hoping for an almost instantaneous reply from the Medic

 

(He was traumatized by the missing period after the word “Medic”, and knew that those folks in the Ambage would hate him forever if they read this, but at the moment iBrow was lacking the capacity to care. No, seriously, being dead drains you of about 98% of your emotional capability.)

 

His wish was granted.

 

We were just chatting. I was telling him that I was going to need some ninja rope in order to protect the guy that I was, you know, protecting and all, so he granted it and we just sort of floated onto the topic. – Agent Awesome Tarakava

 

iBrow wondered why the Medic couldn’t just tell him what Zakaro’s reason was – and also didn’t understand what was up with these codenames, either. It was almost as if the Medic had given him a super long and complicated codename that he’d been so stunned by he’d forgotten it instantaneously.

 

Pssh, as if that had really happened.

 

He typed a response back:

 

Well, okay then. So what was his reasoning? – Still Mr. Dead Guy

 

He hit send, and his finger had barely left the keyboard when the Medic responded:

 

He was enjoying ice cream. – Doctor Matoran-who-is-sad-about-not-getting-ice-cream

 

iBrow thought that the Medic’s latest codename was rather insulting, considering that iBrow could no longer enjoy the delights of food, seeing as he was dead. Regardless, he messaged back:

 

Alright, abort the regular plans. The new plan is: Operation Steal Zakaro’s Ice Cream. – Still Mr. Dead Guy Here

 

He hit send and this time, the Medic didn’t just instantly send him a reply – indeed, the Medic went the extra mile and crashed through the roof of the building that the Floating Chattering Corpse Heap was located in (it had originally been outside, until the ashes of JL had been blown off the city and scattered for eternity thanks to some wind).

 

“Alright, so where do we begin?” the Medic asked.

 

“Well, first, we track Zakaro,” iBrow listed, “and then we’re going to need to get to the ice cream. Seeing as I am unable to grab it, I’ll be the distraction and you’ll grab the ice cream.”

 

“How are you going to distract a mortal that has temporarily been given the powers of a deity-like being?” the Medic wondered aloud, scratching his head.

 

“Simple,” said iBrow. “I’ll just pretend like I need to know some top secret information regarding the Astrologist Matoran dude guy.”

 

The Medic nodded in understanding. “Shall we begin?”

 

“We shall.”

 

Summoning the last dregs of his formerly all-powerful powers (which iBrow had already used, confusing him as to how he still had them), iBrow teleported the two of them to a small apartment, where Zakaro appeared to have been waiting for them.

 

“Hello, you two,” said Zakaro, who was smiling. “You know, I’ve been expecting you.”

 

“You have?” the Medic asked.

 

“Of course!” Zakaro exclaimed. “I didn’t expect you to just ignore the fact that I have a warehouse stuffed full of delicious ice cream underneath this fake apartment.”

 

“Oh… right. Yeah, we probably should have thought of that bit….” The Medic agreed.

 

iBrow, however, was rather disturbed by what Zakaro had said.

 

“Uh… what do you mean, fake apartment?”

 

“Oh, that’s easy!” Zakaro said with another winning smile. “This apartment is actually an illusion.”

 

iBrow and the Medic both glanced at each other.

 

“Well, crud.” They both said in unison.

 

The apartment shimmered out of existence, and the Medic plummeted down into the ice cream, where he struggled to stay afloat. iBrow almost screamed, before he realized that he wasn’t falling.

 

“Oh right, I’m a ghost,” said iBrow. “Well, good thing I don’t have to swim through ice cream.”

 

“You know, I really don’t like people trying to take my ice cream.” Zakaro told him. “Now, I feel that having to swim in the stuff for an hour will be sufficient to make the Medic forget about ever trying to deny me again. However, I do need a different way to translate my wrath to you.”

 

iBrow shrugged as Zakaro pulled out a musical machine and a song started to blast out of the speakers.

 

“Is that… Queen?” iBrow asked.

 

“Oh, is that what you hear?” Zakaro shrugged. “I dunno. I personally am currently hearing Skrillex. I can’t seem to figure it out – everybody that hears this hears music that would be the soundtrack to their death, if they got to choose. Me? I get stuck with lousy ol’ Skrillex.”

 

Zakaro sighed, before shrugging again. “It is no matter though. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m rather busy, so… SMITED BY A LIGHTNING BOLT THAT CAN STRIKE GHOSTS!”

 

The lightning bolt crashed into iBrow, who was indeed electrified. However, when the white flash that had overcome everything else faded, the ghost of iBrow was still standing there, albeit smoking.

 

“Well, that was certainly an interesting experience,” iBrow said, “but unfortunately, I cannot stay to explain to you why I am still here. Tally ho!”

 

And thus iBrow vanished, leaving Zakaro mildly frustrated, the Medic swimming in ice cream, and the audience furious with the lack of a real conclusion.

[- JL -]

Well.....

 

That was inconclusive.

[Highly Suspicious Person]

That made perfect sense. I wish I made that much sense.

[Phovos]

That made no sense.

 

And that's coming from the person who writes the Bohrok-Kal's Ramblings, which never makes sense.

 

Also, random Medic is random.