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Ranting Toa: The Toa Nuva's Ramblings...


Phovos

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Hello. Pohatu here. Speaking from some time in the near future, where everything is good, there's no evil and there's nothing for us Toa to do any more. So we now live in a giant mansion with five swimming pools and a Jacuzzi and a pony farm and lots of stuff like that. And I must say, we kinda get bored. Hence I sneakily invited Phovos in so she can make a comedy out of all this.

 

Pohatu? Who are you whisper-speaking to?

 

Oh, just no one.

 

Is that the Toa-kill-eating being who writes those annoying-bad comedies in funny-strange colours?

 

Er, yeah.

 

Oh okay then. This does not annoy-bother me.

 

Alrighty then.

 

I am going to sneak-watch Gali, she is swim-diving in the pools.

 

You could just join her, you know.

 

I can't swim.

 

Learn. It's not hard. Especially when you can make yourself float.

 

That is a smart-good idea!

 

And he's gone. Anyway, I ought to point out that, since we're all so bored, I've gotten into the habit of stealing diaries. Phovos taught me everything. And since Gali gets through about five diaries a week, I've got loads of material.

 

Ah, my fine gentleman of a brother! Pohatu, how art thou?

 

Fine thanks. Can I ask, how long will you be doing this strange 'posh gentleman' thing for?

 

How long is a piece of string, my dearest sibling?

 

Erm...

 

No one knows! That is the answer, my friend!

 

Onua! Are you Still DOING that STUPID act?!?

 

Why, yes, dearest Fire Spitter!

 

Well, stop it! It's Stupid! And I LOVE putting RandOm capital Letters everywhere! Why am I DOING that?!?

 

And you've reached your quota of quotation marks...

 

Get LOST, Pohatu! Important TIMES are Ahead!

 

Oh? Interesting!

 

Indeed! And NOW I am going to WALK AWAY for no REASON!

 

Glad he is gone.

 

Ah, Kopaka! How wonderful it is to see you once more! Did you enjoy your peace and quiet up in your tower?

 

Yes.

 

You alright, bro?

 

Indeed. I just came down for a glass of soda.

 

I shall accompany you, dear Kopaka!

 

I'd rather be left alone, thank you.

 

Nonsense! Allow me to open the door for you!

 

Erm...

 

Come!

 

...

 

Yeah... I think we've all gone a tad crazy...

 

Help.

 

Come on, Kopaka! The fridge awaits!

 

I'M coming TOO! I want some COFFEE!

 

Okay then...

 

...

 

...

 

And I'm alone again.

 

...

Edited by Phovos the Raptor
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Where is the COFFEE?!!

 

I am unsure, my dear brother! Normally it is among the other dried powders, ready to be made into a hearty, warm drink.

 

It's in the top left cupboard.

 

Oh, of course! Thank you, my beloved frozen Toa!

 

It's always been in the top left cupboard.

 

NO, it HASN'T!

 

Fine, it hasn't.

 

But brother, perhaps you are correct?

 

I do not wish to get into yet another pathetic argument.

 

A fair wish, my brother! Now, let me adjust my monocle and I shall put the kettle on!

 

I'll leave you to it. There is a meteor shower tonight.

 

BOIL FASTER, KETTLE!

 

Ah, Fire Spitter, remember, a watched pot never boils!

 

It WILL when I WATCH it!

 

O...kay...

 

BOIL NOW.

 

I think I shall leave you to your kettle, dear brother... I wonder where Lewa is?

 

Splish splash splosh...

 

Ah! You are in the pool! But the pool is not a good location for one such as yourself!

 

Splish splash... Oh, hi, Onua! I am try-learning how to swim!

 

Indeed! And how do you do?

 

Erm... Splosh splash... I am trying my good-best. Swimming is difficult-hard.

 

Do not fret! You shall learn and prosper in no time!

 

Do you know how to swim-dive?

 

Um... I am afraid, I do not, my dear.

 

Do you want to try-learn with me?

 

I would rather not... One does not simply learn how to swim...

 

Yes they do.

 

Oh?

 

I am try-learning. And I'm an Air-Toa.

 

Hm. Maybe I shall then. But should we inquire the help of our wonderful sister?

 

I already say-asked her. She said no.

 

Oh dear.

 

Yes. Gali was not in a good-happy mood.

 

She left you out here, alone?

 

Yes.

 

Come brother! We shall persuade her to teach us how to swim!

 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOMPH!

 

Hm. It seems as though Pohatu has just been thrown from Gali's bedroom window...

 

Ow...

 

Is one alright, dear brother?

 

I fink i broke somefing...

 

Huh?

 

Owie... Is my mask on straight?

 

You may wish to rotate it 25 degrees to the left.

 

Ah, thanks, bro. What you both up to?

 

Why, Lewa here is learning how to swim!

 

You don't know how to swim? It's easy. I can swim...

 

You can?

 

Really?

 

Yeah. I was aiming for the swimming pool when I fell... But I kinda missed... Oh dear, there's a scratch... Gonna have to buff that out later...

 

Oh dear, brother. But you are otherwise fine, are you not?

 

BOIL!

 

AH OH AH OH HOT HOT HOT!

 

Get out of the water, Lewa!

 

OWWIE! OW!

 

Grab my hand!

 

OW! PULL ME OUT!

 

HEAVE!

 

Phew... That hurt...

 

BOIL BOIL BOIL!

 

Tahu! Don't boil the pool! You nearly made Lewa Soup!

 

I WANT COFFEE! I want it NOW!

 

Did the kettle not boil?

 

NO. IT IS BROKEN!

 

Let me have a quick-look at it...

 

It's IN THE kitchen.

 

Okay...

 

Careful, Lewa...

 

What is the problem, brother of air?

 

Hm...

 

Huh, it boiled fine.

 

Tahu, did you put-plug it in?

 

Erm...

 

Wow...

 

I believe our frigid brother was correct... He IS surrounded by morons...

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Onua's right. Pohatu, him, and Kopaka are the only sane ones I see.

-Rahkshi Guurahk
GENERATION 3: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.
If I actually tried putting all the stuff I like on here, the sig would burst.

d1O9dXQ.png

 

(This banner is created by http://www.bzpower.com/board/user/59020-onaku/ )

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