MetaStriker Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 Well here we are! This, folks, is a spoof of The Phantom Menace from Star Wars. After all, you can never make fun of the prequel series enough, can you? The Phantom Antidermis Chapter 1: Big Red Battleship In the Droid Control Ship… “I have a bad feeling about this,” I muttered. “What do you mean; you have a bad feeling about this? The meeting was great!” “I know, Master Lesovikk, but—“ “But what, Tahu? They served caviar and root beer with real sugar!” “Yes, they did. They’re feeding us our demise.” Shoot, I guess I haven’t introduced myself yet (although he kinda did). I’m Tahu, and I’m in the Toa Order, led by the Toa Council, who strictly told us not to go here. Of course, Lesovikk doesn’t get bad feelings about anything, and dragged me away from MNLOG to negotiate with Mutran. Did I mention that I had a bad feeling about this? *_*_*_* “Stop.” Lesovikk unsheathed his lightsaber, bumping its hilt into mine to stop me. “I sense something in the Nui…” “Maybe Mutran changed his mind and decided to attack—“ “Shhh,” Lesovikk clamped his hand over my mouth. “He’ll hear us.” “Oh, so now you’re paranoid,” I grumbled, moving his hand away and turning the corner. “Too late.” An army of Vahki stood ahead of us, fully armed with Kanoka Disks and if looks could kill, I’d be encased in more stone than Ganondorf from The Wind Waker. “For some reason, I still don’t have a bad feeling about this,” Lesovikk said, turning on his lightsaber. Too late, I thought. His heart’s already turned to stone. In the Republic Cruiser… “Man, I haven’t had better hospitality since before I signed up for the Republic,” Evo said, finishing his coffee. “I know, right?” Nex asked, shrugging. He wolfed down another slice of pizza, then leaned back and burped. “It’s the life.” “So you say.” Mutran watched from the window above, then pushed a red button. “Super Vahki, execute Order: Destroy the Big Red Battleship. And bring large fries with that.” He chuckled, then exited for Naboo. In a Transport Ship… “How…did you do that?” I was in shock, for Lesovikk had pushed the Vahki all back, blinded them, and had them overrun by Fikou spiders. “Wax on, wax off,” Lesovikk replied, as if that was his life. “At any rate, where is this thing going?” I inspected a control panel. “Dantooine.” Lesovikk walked over to me, took the panel away, and smashed it against the wall. He then looked at the cockpit, smirking. “Yeah, that just won’t do. I’ve got a better idea.” HYPERSPACE “This…was NOT my idea of flying!!!” To Be Continued… If you didn't get it, Lesovikk is Qui-Gon, Tahu is Obi-Wan, Mutran is Nute Gunray, and Evo and Nex...are Evo and Nex. The Vahki serve as Battle Droids. How was it? ~MN~ Quote The long awaited third season of TA:OT is finally here!! [sharedmedia=gallery:images:1377] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
25K Now! Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 The chapter seems to leap from one scene to another rather quickly. I know what happens, having seen the movie, but the plot progression isn't ... logical. Quote http://vimeo.com/198967785 BZPRPG Profiles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MetaStriker Posted May 2, 2013 Author Share Posted May 2, 2013 Well, I try to make it a little more light-hearted and "skippy" than TFC (if you've ever read that). It's a new concept 😜. ~MN~ Quote The long awaited third season of TA:OT is finally here!! [sharedmedia=gallery:images:1377] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
25K Now! Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 It just feels too skippy. Quote http://vimeo.com/198967785 BZPRPG Profiles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phovos Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 I have to agree, it does seem rather skippy. Maybe if you built up your scenes a bit more before moving on, or at least throwing in lines like "While all heck broke loose in the star destroyer, over on Naboo..." or something like that. Also, I don't think first person for Tahu is a great idea. Really, he ought to be treated like everyone else. Quote Click here to read The Bohrok-Kal's Ramblings! Yes, I know there were 7 months between the last two episodes but oh well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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