Posted Oct 22 2011 - 07:14 PM
The dramatic conclusion... The craft was utterly demolished. Only through the sheer force of will, a blue spell, and one life were they able to bring it back to the Metru. Once there, general Axonn met with Solek in the hangar as random Matoran scavenged the ship for any scrap metal that they could sell to look for more scrap metal. “Get away from here,” commanded Axonn in the voice of a rock star, “and bring me a large cup of energized protodermis. I have much thirst.” “Hey sir,” Kirop said, saluting, only to be pushed out of the way by Solek and his much more important conversation. “General, we have the location of the leech’s citadel. We have to strike now while they are still unprepared,” Solek announced, saluting the general. “Whoa, brosef, how did you figure this out?” Axonn asked, letting out a sweet blast of rock on his ax/guitar. “Didn’t you read chapter two? We don’t have time to explain now!” Solek was exasperated and hungry, just a minor side effect of dying. “Look, let me lead the crusade against the leech. We can crush him now, while he’s repairing his fortress.” “Oh, I tore that dump down,” said the leech casually from a giant balloon in the sky, raining Rhakshi and Skakdi down onto the land, “I really hated the décor. Too black for me. Pastels are all the rage now.” “How did you find us?” yelled Solek, somehow getting his hands on a megaphone instantaneously. “You have a flashing sign pointing to the city that says “Home of the Resistance to the Leech”. And I thought I had a huge ego.” “Good point there. So, now what?” “Now, you and I have a fight to the death to determine the fate of the universe while our armies who really hold the key to the universe clash uselessly.” “Sounds cool!” Kirop said excitedly, grabbing a machete and running carelessly into battle, where he was slaughtered instantly by an Elite with an energy sword. “Oh, no, please, help him someone blah blah,” Solek muttered by rote as he rose toward the leech’s balloon on a solid light escalator. When he came to the top, he was nearly deafened by the Lady Gaga that the leech had blaring. “Baby I was born this way!” screamed out of the speakers while the leech danced with a mace tucked under his… flipper? Appendage? Seriously, what does he hold stuff with? Anyway, Solek pulled out his katana, which had seemed a good weapon until he figured out that he would be fighting a mace, which was like the worst matchup in the world, worse than control vs Cloudpost (hugely in favor of Cloudpost). And Solek was on the side of the control now. “Dang,” he muttered, “Well, guess I have to cheat.” With that, he pulled out a cordak blaster and shot the leech. “HEY!” Yelled the omnipresent Frezon, “No Deux ex machinas in my stories.” “Whatever loseron. This is my story, not yours.” “Under my account. I’m not always inactive, you know.” “Lies. You’re never here.” Unfortunately for the plot of this story, while this argument occurred, the leech, who had only been stunned by the blast, squirmed away. Thus, when Solek looked to finish off his mortal enemy, he saw only a small note. I.O.U. one epic battle -Lord leech, the magnificent, who rules over all of space and much of time, the conqueror of the following realms: The southern continent, Daxia, earth, mars, Hershey, nestle, pretty much all of mata nui’s body, brain, and soul; Cuba, Reach, Hoth, Soviet Russia, where strangely everything seems to do its action to me instead of me doing the action to the thing; I’ve assumed most of you have stopped reading by now, so here’s some blatant religious flaming, oh snap fooled you there, ever considered I’m more awesome than your breakfast; the Aeons torn, Infinite Gyre, Butcher of Truth, master chief, master chef, etc. etc. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Screamed Solek in frustration. The rather anticlimactic end Part 2: The Quest for the Epic Battle (and the destruction of the majority of earth in the process) coming soon!