Just Discuss all my fics here. You can compliment on them, or tell me how to fix them, just reply!....please?

NOTE: All these stories are finished, unless otherwise noted.

MY FICS SO FAR:

<span style='font-size:15pt;line-height:100%'>EPICS:</span>

Toa Stories
-Shattered Time 1st chapter done, more to come.
-The Element of Ice

Other Stories
-The Battle for Mata-Nui-Chapter 6:Part 2 of 3 Completed.
-The Koli Ball Salesman
-The Kingdom on the Mountain

Team Efforts
-Mata Haru: Prelude to Death Chapter 11 is up!

Fics From the Grave

-The Chronicler Company Series-R.I.P.
-Infusion-R.I.P.


<span style='font-size:15pt;line-height:100%'>Short Stories:</span>

-High Noon
-Graveyard-Second Place in the First Short Story Contest!

<span style='font-size:15pt;line-height:100%'>COMEDIES:</span>

-XKL-Makuta Gets Athletic Chapter 17 completed, more to come.
-Unity Treaty Third place in the First Comedy Contest!
-Yummies Fourth Place in the Second Comedy Contest!
-Interview with Turaga Nuju
-Interview with Turaga Nokama
-Interview with Turaga Onewa
-Interview with Turaga Vakama
-Interview with Turaga Whenua
-Interview with Turaga Matau
-Interview with all the Toa Nuva The Result of a secret plot me and GaliGee have been cooking up. If you go to this topic, you will see the secret.

<span style='font-size:15pt;line-height:100%'>COT Stories:</span>

Original Stories
-Schneider's Legacy-Chapter 10



This post has been edited by MataNuiHero: Mar 25 2008, 03:42 AM

thanks for the kind words! why do you like my story? is there anyway i can make it better?


(my first post as a Premiere!!! )

I like it. you started it a long time ago. i remember replying to it when, i think it was when i was nuhvok21. It like one of the first things i replyed to and i liked it.

Yes i got two fans!!! First question, who is your guys' (gals' ) fav character? mine is of course, Mafu! who is yours>?

I like Mafu too! I can't figure out your puzzle! Can you give a hint?

well, i was just going to post a hint, after the 12 stone, is the 3 stone with the arrow pointing to the right. so now you only have 2 stones left to put in. i will give a new hint for all puzzles every week on Saturday.

Well, MataNuiHero, I haven't read all of it yet, but so far I really like The Chronicler Company 2. Lots of cool details, and the plot is awesome -- it fills in some of those big gaps that LEGO leaves for our imaginations to take over. My favorite part was Hafu's ice sculpture trick. And I like the way you introduce the Bohrok -- very slowly, krana on a Muaka and a distant storm... Good writing! Way to go!  

Thank you for the kind words GaliGee. But my own doesn't compare to your telephone interviews! i'll try my best to slow down with the writing so you can catch up!

The first stone is 12 with the arrow up
The 2nd stone is 3 with the arrow right
The 3rd stone is 6 with the arrow down
The last stone is 9 with the arrow left

finally a response to the puzzle! well, i'm not gonna say if he is right, but if i get a few more puzzle solvers i'll continue on with the next chapter. maybe you people should pm me your answers ok?

Can you post the first fic please?

Oh yeah, my favourite character's probably Mafu too.

Kohrah Matoran. remember way back when i said i would put you as a tohunga in my story? expect that soon. and unfortunaly my first story was lost in the depths of who-knows-where when the Library was redone, i never saved it because noone like it. but for a brief summary go check out the begging of the second one. i might try  rewriting it someday and posting it here. for that long ago my, writing skills were horrible.


P.S. what were your tohunga colors and name? (i forgot    )

Aw, MNH, that's sweet.

So THAT's why I couldn't find CC1! Oh, well, I'm having a good time in CC2. I'm on chapter 22. It's still great! I liked the Ga-Koro-being-attacked-by-Gahlok scene. But then I would, now, wouldn't I?  

I'm a Ko-koronan.

Name:Kohrahu

Mask:light grey Pakari

Torso:White

Legs:Light grey

Carries a pick axe.

GOOD I SAY!  I'm talking about your scavenger fic.  Very cool.  That puzzle was clever, but the clock hint completely gave it away.  Can't wait for the next challenge!


PS-I don't want to be one of those annoying people who constantly ask if they can be in a fic, but I'd just like to know- are you going to put members in the story?

I'm looking forward to you're story titled The Tale Of The Koli Ball Salesman.

Quote (The Eighth Horse @ Aug. 18 2002, 9:20)

GOOD I SAY!  I'm talking about your scavenger fic.  Very cool.  That puzzle was clever, but the clock hint completely gave it away.  Can't wait for the next challenge! PS-I don't want to be one of those annoying people who constantly ask if they can be in a fic, but I'd just like to know- are you going to put members in the story?

well nobodys ever asked to be in my fic, but I have asked others. i'd be honored! i'd just need to know what your character's name is and colors. [no toa or turaga please.] and your Koro. also, if you know the answers to a puzzle i have just pm them to me, the faster i get answers, the faster i put up the chapter.

Quote (MataNuiHero @ July 20 2002, 2:59)

discuss my present feature fictionand please tell me any way I can make it better. even say it's stupid if you want. i just want feedback. Discuss all my other fics too, even the first CC. if you remember it.

This is in response to your Tales of the Company fic.

I really think this could be an awesome fic, but it would do so much better if you could ease up a bit on the action.  Yes, I know the Bionicle line is action-orientated, but still, too much action just makes my head spin.

The best part you wrote was the Nuparu section, even if the characterization of Taipu was a little off.  I liked the way you kind of went into the little miner's mind a bit before he nearly got killed.  You should do that a little more with all the characters during their chapters.  

As always though, these are just my humble opinions.  

Nova Nuvok, the Fan Fiction Loving Bohrok

Hi MNH, I just finished CC2. Way to go! I almost feel dizzy, the action was so fast. I like the way you pick a Tohunga to follow, then describe the white-knuckle near-death ride as he (or she) rises to heroics they never thought possible. Makes us little people feel like WE could do something heroic!

Keep it up... Well done.

i love all the stories and the characters!
my motaran
mask:yellow pikari
arms:black
body:black
feet:red
village:onu-koro

strange, back when I had the old review topic, people said I didn't have ENOUGH action. i guess i over-compensated. well, I guess were all in for some bad luck, for in part 3 of the tale. [TCC3: Scavenger Tales.] i really get the action pumping, but i'm trying to make my tohunga a little more like me, smarter than stronger, funnier than serious. that is why this one is puzzle oriented. i wanted a way to have a fic, were i could pull something off, without brawn. but I meet up with a companion that is a huge buff man. It's sorta like LotR, Mafu is frodo and my companion is Arogorn of something. So in this one, Mafu does most of the thinking, while his comrade does much fighting.

sorry to DP, Your all gonna beat me with teddy bears I know, but if i used edit nobody would check this, just to tell you in the chronicler company 2, i will be re-writing the taipu chapter to fit how the boxor was built. to fit with the storyline. so be sure to check it out!

The Eighth Horse throws a teddy bear at MNH

Here me be:

Mask:Dark Navy Komau
Body:White
Feet:Dark Navy
Village:Ko-Koro (But I suppose that you could've figured that out by yourself.)
Bio:Former Astrologer of Ko-Koro.  Intelligent, friendly, but only to those he knows are trustworthy.  Knows much about ancient symbols and codes.

The puzzle has me totally baffled.  Did you come up with it by yourself?  If so, then you're good at this!

well i'm in the advanced math class, and last year she [Teacher] gave us a sheet with brain teasers, and this was one of them, and here's a hint for you, [it's gonna give it away, but hey, i'm anxious to write a new chapter.] One of onua's claws has a number of nails on it, and that is the minimum number of nail that are needed to keep a cart wheel on, [or hubcap.] also, combine that with your last clue and this should be simple, "borrowing." Now i've made it way to easy, but i've got some real toughies coming up.

Um, actually my Matoran has a dark grey mask/legs and a sword and shield and bow and arrows.His name is actually Kohrah the matoran.

Quote (Kohrah matoran @ Sep. 04 2002, 1:10)

Um, actually my Matoran has a dark grey mask/legs and a sword and shield and bow and arrows.His name is actually Kohrah the matoran.

so your like link, but a ko-koronan Matoran? and also People Please try and answer my puzzle! the8thhorse already has!

I think the Tohunga took the nails out of the Ussals feet/claws.

Okay, heres the final rundown on my character.(yes, the final one)

Name: Kohrah

Mask: White

Body: Cyan(light blue)

Legs: White

Weapons:Shield/Spear/Arrowsbow/Sword

Eyes: Light blue

Personality:Tough, enduring, witty but not clever, protective of friends and deep hate for evil.

Quote (Kohrah matoran @ Sep. 05 2002, 12:02)

I think the Tohunga took the nails out of the Ussals feet/claws. Okay, heres the final rundown on my character.(yes, the final one) Name: Kohrah Mask: White Body: Dark grey Legs: White Weapons:Shield/Spear/Arrowsbow/Sword Eyes: Light blue

Ok, I now understand your tohunga, if you want to change again, your welcome. and I would like you to Pm me your answers, and the answer for yours is wrong, remember, he got back on the road with the maha Still Pulling him. Pulling the legs off an ussal! Ouch!

I will be redoing the chapter on the boxor's creation and debut to fit the storyline. So go back into TCC2 and read that if you wish.

OK, MNH, I just read CC3, funny! I like the description of D's hut. But why is Bink guarding the gate so fiercely? Last time I checked, it was pretty easy to get into BZ.   But I guess that will figure into the story later.

I just can't think of an answer for your puzzle!

Anyways, isn't Bz-koro a bit too heavily protected?I mean, with all the loads of Tohunga, wouldn't it be easy to defend the city?

Well Bink is gaurding it so fiercily because of the discovery of the bohrok. and they even chew out tohunga for fear of a krana'd one hiding the krana under a mask. and yes in my bionicle world, Xa's are smart enought to do that. and now your gonna ask why didn't Bink ask him to take off his mask, well that's because I didn't think of it at the time. But as a hint for the story, they have recieved word of a Tah[ content cannot be released at this moment.] approaching. And they want to fend them off of course. and Second. Should I drop this cheesy puzzle stuff? or keep it? Thirdly,
I just want to tell you guys that in my bionicle beliefs, BZ-Koro exists. but there are no other toa or turaga, save D, and HT. The rank of Toa just exists as a rank for the tohunga. Happy Reading!

Part of chapter 7 of XKL is now up, it has a funny line here and there. Enjoy! Or Else!  

Also, I have part of chapter 4 up in TCC3: Scavenger Tales. Enjoy!

Hey MNH, I sure would like to read more of the Koli Ball Salesman and the Kingdom on the Mountain. I loved the intro to KOTM, by the way, you wrote a great description of Onua and Pohatu wrestling. I always pictured the Turaga as having lots of authority, even over the Toa at times -- despite the Toa's superior powers, they are newcomers and outsiders to the village societies. It's fun to imagine what the Toa would do if they had spare time, especially with each other! All that energy to burn, all those powers to keep practicing...

So whenever you get a chance, post some more!

yes, i must continue writing those, But i gotta finish XKL first, but i might drop in the occasional chapter like I did with TCC3, it doesn't even refer to Mafu or BZ-Koro, it deals with the Po-Koro seige.

Well GaliGee, I've added more of KOTM, and i've edited the first few posts with minor changes, The 2nd and 3rd chapters are now up, and the fic has about 2 more chapters in it, not including the epilouge.

Kingdom on the mountain is the best! I just read it, and I liked your introduction chapter, with Pohatu's and Onua's friendly wrestling match! I loved that, it was very endearing.
Good job on the Turaga and Tohunga, too. You captured them well.
The story about the Kingdom itself was cool too, but I guess that's because I know the song from a punk cover...
Does that mean I'm old?
Nah, I don't know the original version, so I can rest assure.
Phew.
And the song is... One Tin Soldier! Yeah!

P.S.: Man, there's a lot of people in this topic. I wish I had this kind of support. Thank the Great Beings MNH counts for 10 fans.  

well, we sang the original *i think* song in choir, and then i though i would look up the song title in KaZaA and found it! Don't worry SK, i'm lucky to have 10 *fans*. But still, I love your story!

The puzzle is unbeatable!

Anyway, here's my character's past.

Kohrah the matoran was a BZ-koronan who was friendly and welcoming.He had had three brothers which he shared his hut with.One fateful day, however, the Bohrok launched a sneak attack and broke into the city.Kohrah and his friends and brothers held the beasts off while the citizens escaped and the soldiers arrived.All of the group were killed except Kohrah.The Bohrok were eventually beaten back by Bink's troops.But from then on, Kohrah became hard and cold.He vowed to avenge his brothers and friends and the others who had died.He hunted the Bohrok all the time throughout Mata Nui in his fury.Kohrah then joined Bink's warriors' and quickly proved his worth as a soldier.From then on, he has always been a defender of the Matoran of his village.

P.S.My matoran has black body and white mask/legs.

Kingdom on the Mountain is finally finished, I know, i'm really lazy if it took me that long to write a 4 chapter epic! o well.

oh and Kohrah, could your character be Ko-Koronan born and raised? or else it's really gonna have some storyline conflicts. it would just be alot better for the storyline if he was A resident of Ko-Koro instead of BZ. If that's ok with you, that'd be great.

Kingdom on the Mountain has reached completion. And might I say, you did quite a good job on it.
It's a wonderful Bionicle adaptation to the song, especially because you added all the things we imagine when hearing the song, but are not in the lyrics. The descriptions you added were very accurate, as were the thoughts, feelings and behaviour of the characters. One of your best so far, MNH!