Here is the story. What do y'all think?
:kaukaunu:

This post has been edited by GaliGee: Nov 25 2002, 06:18 PM

Neat!     Very detailed, and a good plot beginning.  I truly hope that you continue soon!

I love it!  When will you put up the next part?

i cant wait to see what happens next!

wow! that's such a great story! do mo' soon!

</span><span style='font-family:times'>That's a great story. Will you write more? I'm anxious to know what happens next!

Finally the thing i've been waiting for since I read your first Interview! You finally have an epic! but you chose, Onua... No gali? rats. I was hoping for a thorough account of Gali but Onua, he's negleted by Lego storywise, And GG, Your Doing Fantastic, The only bad thing is, I finished the first chapter, and there was no second one! :(-----

Thanks, y'all! I don't really know what I'm doing, writing an epic, but why not try?  MNH, do you REALLY think I could write a story without Gali in it? She'll be there...

OK, Chapter 2 is up now.

Yup, Gali is going to be in there... four Pakari?  Wow...

d@lVl#  honey u've really outdone u'r self this time this story is so fantastic!!!...especially chapter 2!!!

This is a really great story. Onua, finilay getting some story time, the wait is over. Please don't stop, I really hope you can get chapter 3 up before I get back from english class.

Well, I guess noone can compete with an epic like this. I was thinking about maybe writing one too, but it wouldn't be as good as yours. I can't wait for the next chapter. Ga-koro awaits.

Edit: I just finished reading chapter 3. I like the way you linked it to the Chronicler story. Way cool! By the way, I'm still trying t find a good epic subject.

Gali gee youre a great storey writer  

Thanks, everybody. Schizo Kaita, it's not a competition! Besides, I've had a lot more practice writing than most of you. Don't EVER get discouraged because you think someone else is doing something better. Get INSPIRED! Just try it, it's really fun.

it's awsome.mucho bueno,dudette

Quote (griggs155 @ September 6, 2002, 12:27 PM)

d@lVl#  honey u've really outdone u'r self this time this story is so fantastic!!!...especially chapter 2!!!

Just wondering, why do you call GaliGee "honey"? Just wondering. And the d@*# thing could be considered a bad word. No offense.

GREAT STORY!!!!! I like how detailed it is! And, this time I'm not gonna ask if YToT can be in it. He's been in more fics than I can recall.

I'm gonna make an epic soon, starring Yotanua, of course. Possibly Yotanua Nuva.



YToT

EXCELLENT! The chronical of Onua over top of the adventures of our Chronicler. Great. You should threaten Lego not to work for them.

love to know how you pull of thier personality's so well galigee,
but gotta admit I like this cause onua doesn't seem to get much attention most of the time. though takua seemed to take onuas apperance in ga-koro pretty well everyone else was pretty surprised ,how come?

Thanks, guys and gals!

kairos windwanderer, that's a really good question.
GaliGee thinks fast, scratching her transparent yellow brain with her axe.
OK, since Takua lost his memory, he isn't surprised by anything. He is guessing Onua is a Toa and therefore to be respected. He just accepts what is happening and tries to make sense of it later, as he travels. The Ga-Koronan are surprised by Onua, though, since the only Toa they have ever seen is Gali. Onua looks pretty weird to them, since he is dark, hunched over, and heavy, with those scary claws. (Except for Maku, they don't get out much. )

GaliGee, your story is so well thought out, with such a rich plot. I'd call you the best writer on BZP, but there are lots of good ones. Thank you for giving us this story. You deserve a standing ovation (sp?).
-Elzaban the Ethereal

Great story. Its good to see people who can imagine what lego has neglected to tell us. I try but I always thnk of something wierd. Anyway, back on topic, do more. Its a great story and it fits really well into the story line.
Could you do this with lewa? I would really like to know how he got that infected mask  on his face.

Lol, I wish I had a ftriend like Tahu to give me girl advice, -sigh-.  This is great stuff, GG, as much as I liked Gali Loses Her Head, this is more fun to read in my opinion!  Maybe it's cuz I'm sucha great epic writer myself... lol.

Lol, Tahu sure took his mask pretty casually.

"What does it do?"  Hehe.

Keep it comin!

Look at all your fans depending on you!  GIVE THEM LIFE, GG!!!

FT, you taught me everything I know about writing epics. As for girls, if the one you fancy is a snap-together action figure, just keep reading. Otherwise, PM me.

You are all so sweet. I don't know which is more fun, writing this zany stuff or reading your posts. I appreciate your kindness.

Flamy,   Lewa's mask problem is coming up in THIS story, actually, in a few more chapters. But it'll be from   Onua's point of view, since it's Onua's big moment! I'm looking forward to writing that part.

OK, back to work.

Great Job GaliGee! You scratched you head with an axe!? you must be one tough dudette! The story is great. I love it. but one thing bugs me. it's not descriptive enough. for example. when Tahu had finally gotten his Miru he just put it on, no flash of red, no joy from him. ya know, that sorta stuff. but it is still great!

Wow, ditto to Elzaban, that story was great. It's nice to see you write an epic. You have a great talent, and deserve all of the compliments that you get. In one of your story replies you asked for pay. I'd give it to you if I knew how to scan money onto the computer. Then I'd PM it! I like how you had Gali be the one with a Pakari as we saw her in the Tohunga instuction foldout from McDonalds. The PC game would have been awesome... But back on topic, really well developed characters, Onua is so innocent and polite, he doesn't say imMature things to the group but he has a special relation with each member. Well not neccesarily immature but not to be mentioned in front of the group. Onepu: "It will be done sir!" Lol. I like how Onua helped Tahu, he's a nice guy. I just wish Lego would show us more rescues Tahu preformed. Onua does a good job though. Nice description and the story really flows. Do more so us pre-adults have something to look forward too after school... A nice sense of humor, this story seems more real than the others, I mean Gali with sunglasses. It's real nice to have an Epic on your record so we can enjoy your talent both ways! I like Tahu and Onua's friendly discussion, but alas, all I have are plastic click together girl friends , well assuming I'm Tahu. You're right that we should be inspired by your work, and I really like to write as well but it's fun sometimes to envy and lookup to someone who writes good stories like you!

MNH, yeah, I'm pretty tough.
GaliGee pats the bandaid on her headThanks for the comment, that sort of thing really helps. As for Tahu's Miru, he didn't have much time to enjoy it, with the Kane-Ra snapping at his feet! But I will try to add more description, it's what makes FT's stories seem so real.

CLLV, thanks! I like the personality stuff, it makes them more heroic to me, if they wrestle with doubt and questions as well as evil foes. Gali with sunglassess, hehe, well, that's the fun part of posting in the Comedy forum... I try to keep the characters very consistent and real, even in my comedies, but the way I portray the characters in THIS story is how I really see them, no funny stuff (except when they really DO show their sense of humor) . I'm glad you caught that Gali Pakari detail, I had a feeling if anyone did, it would be YOU!

I'm getting more and more into (and out of) this story! I can really see it before me with my mind's eye (an eye in my mind? gross! get it out! ). And Lewa's mask problem is coming up? I like where this is going. Praise to you and your Writing Skills (that's right, with capitals), Gali Gee.

i cant wait for the next chapter!!i like the idea of the sand tarakava(ilovethatword)

Can't move..........too stunned..........likes story.......so much.........THAT WAS THE BEST STORY I EVER READ!!!!!!!!(Epic wise, of course.   )
Please post more!!


PS: Hehe, wanna laugh yer head off? Check out:
How Pohatu got his Koli ball!

A five star story.
The master of comedy just took over the epic forum.
A cleverly written, well thought out, briallant epic that you'll want to read over and over.
(GaliGee) joins the ranks of epic masters... a wonderful story with all your favorite Bionicle charecters.
(GaliGee) shows she has skills in both comedy AND epics with this wonderful new five-star story.
A epic this good only shows up every once in a while.

I wrote my thoughts like a proffesional movie critic... I have GOT to be the only person who works so hard on replies to stories. I loved it.

that's a great story! I love it! it is well detailed too  

great story honey i realy like it especially the po-koro part......pure tallent...another *honey* origional realy hope u post more soon!!!

Is it possable to be too good of a writer? If it is, you passes it a long time ago. Keep going, this is the best story I have ever read.

"He's not going to stop.He's gonna' kill me!" Onua rolled over and looked into the eye's of his friend turned foe, leering through the corrid, slimy Miru,and shuddering "Or worse..."


creepy but, awsome please post more.

I liked it especially when Onua and Lewa were fighting. and the infected masks having powers? very creative, I like I like. But poor Onua, he has to watch his friends get thier Kanohi. but atleast he's a good helper! Yay Onua!

Ya definitly know how to tie things together don't ya ?
I love it! Hope you write more soon galigee!

I Love it! Please do more spoon!



rulez!

Thanks, you guys are so sweet. MNH, glad you liked the Lewa-Onua fight scene. It's my favorite episode in the MNOLG, ever since I first saw it I've been imagining how it must have felt to be there. I felt kinda bad putting my hero through the wringer like that, but he can take it. (I've always had a big crush on Onua, just ask FT. )

Two chapters to go...

That is SUCH an AWESOME epic, GG!!!!!
My own epic pales in comparison to it!
I also love the Lewa-Onua fight scene!
Lewa's description of being infected is also really graphic!
You do such a good job of bringing the Toa alive!!!!
Can't wait 'til the end!!!!!!

2 chapters left? boohoo. Rats, And I thought it was the middle! Well I can't wait to see what plays out! I'm guessing something amazing will happen before Onua gains his mask. [but that is sorta obvious.] I hope you end it as well as you started!