Yahoo! The Bionicle Coffee Shop is 1 year old! Yay!
So come and check out our anniversary webpage, here!

If you didn't understand the significance of the title, then STOP. Look here before you dare venture further, for it is one of the funniest comedies this side of the prune. You should read that first if you want to have any hope at understanding the running gags we have. Now, let's get started.

The List of Members who have been Authorized to Co-Author [with respective author colors]:

Elzaban [Head Management, Author] [OliveDrab]

Radial [Author] [ForestGreen]

Hulud Nuva [Author] [YellowGreen]

CISCAS V [Author] [DarkOrchid]

Sephiroth Master of Darkness [Author] [Red]

Toa of Muffins [Author] [DodgerBlue]

Special Exceptions: Kamion, Krago Albrithe, -X-, Meteuro, Zophory, Chronicler of Ko-Koro. You guys can write whenever you want [DarkBlue]

NOTICE: I will be hiring authors again on NOVEMBER 1st, 2003. Keep that date in mind. If you send me requests before that date, they will be ignored as always. More info on hirings will be made available when November 1st gets closer.

NOTICE : I will not be accepting any more authors for the time being. I will update this post when I start accepting again. Also note, if you are not on that list, you may note write until you have been added to it.

NEWS FLASH: BCS now has nifty cool ways for you, our faithful readers and authors, to promote and advertise for the comedy. So, without further ado, I'll pass it over to Elzaban the Matoran:



First off, the lovely banner that I use, and it's code, then followed by the other options:

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[URL=http://www.bzpower.com/forum/index.php?act=ST&f=27&t=53829][IMG]http://members.aol.com/elzaban/BCSSiggie.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

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[URL=http://www.bzpower.com/forum/index.php?act=ST&f=27&t=53829][IMG]http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/elzaban/avatars/aanewsig.png[/IMG][/URL]

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[URL=http://www.bzpower.com/forum/index.php?act=ST&f=27&t=53829][IMG]http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/elzaban/avatars/coffeeshop3.png[/IMG][/URL]

The BIONICLE COFFEE SHOP By Elzaban: "Coffee has never been funnier"

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[URL=http://www.bzpower.com/forum/index.php?act=ST&f=27&t=53829][color=blue][b]The BIONICLE COFFEE SHOP By Elzaban:[/b][/color] [color=red][i]"Coffee has never been funnier"[/i][/color][/URL]

Anyway, this is going to be great. Without further ado, our lovable star, Takua:

*Takua walks up to the shop. He opens the door and walks in.*

T: Morning Mr. Kopaka!
K: Takua! You're late!
T: I'm sorry. The Boxor broke down, and I had to hitch a ride with the Hukis. At least they have a four-seater.
K: Yeah, well, just get here on time next time. We already have customers.

*Kopaka points to Joe.*

T: Sorry Joe. What'll you have? The specials the Cuppa' Joe.
J: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

*Joe jumps out the window into the back alley, where he is mauled by a badger.*

K: Great. That's coming out of your check.
T: I know...

*Door opens. Kongu comes in with stubble, and his shirt is only half buttoned.*

T: Morning Kongu. What'll you have?
Kg: *hic* I'll have a Cuppa' Joe.
J: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!

*Joe's hand goes evil and strangles him. The badger is still mauling him.*

T: Here you are. What's the problem?
Kg: I won a million dollars in the lottary.
T: Alright! Why the frown?
Kg: I blew a billion dollars on tickets.
T:
Kg: ...
T: What you need is a plan... And I may have just the thing. Can you still fly?
Kg: Yes. *hic*
T: Good. Finish your coffee and follow me.

*Kongu drinks coffee. Turns blue momentarily. Follows Takua.*

*Outside, we hear the Boxor break down.*

T: Darn, we'll have to walk!
Kg: Oh poop.

*At Le-Koro, Takua and Kongu board his Kewa. They lift off and head towards Ko-Koro. Kongu is still suffering from a hangover (we did mention that, right?)*

T: I thought you said you could fly!
Kg: Fly, yes. Fly properly, no.
T: Oh, Mata-Nui, we're going to die.
Kg: Wee....

*They arrive at Ko-Koro, infront of the KKB (Ko-Koronan Bank).*

Kg: It's locked. How do we get in?
T: Watch...

*Takua walks over to an icicle.*

T: Here's a trick Kopeke showed me...

*Takua carves a key out of the icicle. He puts it in and opens the vault. A growling sound comes form within.*

Kg: Takua, you didn't mention gaurd Muaka...
T: I didn't anticipate them...

*Ten minutes later, the KKPD (Ko-Koronan Police Departement) takes the two injured Matoran to jail. A Guard comes in.*

Grd: You two are being released. Seems the Muaka took appropriate compensation out of your hide.
Kg: *mumbles*

*Back at the BCS.*

T: And that's why I'm late this morning.
K: Nice try, but I don't trust you as far as I can throw you.
T: Actually, you can throw me pretty--
K: Shush up! I'm taking this out of your paycheck.
T: *mumbles*

The End

-Elzaban/Slothman
Head Mangement of the BCS

This post has been edited by Slothman: Oct 11 2003, 07:25 AM

Yay!

*Tahu Nuva walks in*
T: Hello, What would it be, A Cuppa Joe?
Joe: AHHHH- ah forget it. I'm just gonna walk out, and probably gona get hit by some marching bohroks.
*Joe walks out, and gets hit by a passing Nuhvok Swarm*
TN: Ooookay... I'll just have a fruit juice.
T: One fruit juce, Comming up!
*Takua presses a button, and fruit juice falls all over Tahu Nuva*
TN: AHHH!!! FRUIT!!! IT BURNS!!! AHHH!!!*runs out*
*Kopaka Nuva emerges from office*
KN: Takua! I head screams of terror, as if Tahu Nuva was poured with Fruit Juice, and as his skin is alergic to fruits, He ran out, screaming as his skin burns off.
T: ... Err... no?
KN: Oh, Okay.
Pahrak-Kal: HELP MEEE!!!
KN: Oh shut up. *slams office door*
*Joe walks in*
T: Welecome back, Joe.
Joe: Wait, this is my first time here, You must be thinking of my identical twin's, brother's, cousin's, goldfish's mate's, owner's, brother's, roomate's, second roomate's, dog's owner, Joe.
T: ... Whatever.
Joe: Anyways, A cup of Chocolate Milkshake for me!
T: One Choclate Milkshake, Coming right up!
*Takua presses a button, And hot steaming lava pours on Joe, burning him to his skeleton*
Joe: AAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-*iz dead*
T: ... I always wondered what that button did.
*Kopaka nuva pops his head out of the office door*
KN: Takua, What happened to my pool of hot steaming lava? I wanted to give my punching bag here a good wash, And what's with that hot steaming big rock in the shape of joe, and is where joe is sitting, over there?
P-K: THANK YOU!!!
KN: Shut up!
T: Umm... it's gone?
KN: oh. Well, get rid of that rock.
T: Yes sir.
*Kopaka nuva closes his door*
T: Now... How am i suposed to move this big rock...

Bravo Rahu. I was wondering if Pahrak Kal ever escaped. Looks like we've found the answer

Jeez, we really need to get a "ROTFLMAO" emoticon here, cause that's what I'm doing.

I'm going to try posting at a steady rate to avoid burning out.

-Elzaban

P.S. Check out my sig. I love that last quote...

It's time once again for "The Bionicle Coffee Shop".

*Takua walks in.*

K: Finally, you're on time. Get the coffee started before anyone comes in.
T: Yes sir...

*Takua starts the coffee up. Jala comes in*

Ja: Gimme the usual Takua...
T: Would that be the Cuppa Joe?
J: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

*Joe runs out the door and is eaten by Gahdok.*

Cd: Gahdok! How many times have I told you that htose aren't good for your teeth!
Gd: Sorry. *urp*

*Back in the BCS.*

Ja: Yes.
T: Coming right up...

*Takua gives Jala his coffee.*

T: So , why so glum?
Ja: She hates me...
T: Who?
Ja: Hahli...
T: What! Since when?
Ja: Since dinner last night...
T: What happened?
Ja: Well...

*Flashback: Jala and Hahli are at a nice Po-Koronan restaurant. The waiter comes over to them/*

Wa: Hallo. What will you be having this ev'ning?
Ha: Um... I think I'll have the Daikui Salad. Jala?
Ja: Um, I think I'll have the Ruki.
Wa: Excellent choice. I shall return momentarily.

*Waiter geos into the kitchen. Waiter comes out of kitchen with two plates.*

Wa: Here you are. One Daikui Salad and one Ruki.

*Waiter takes covers of of plates. Jala has a big red Ruki on his plate.*

Ha: AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! You've killed my pet! Mr. Bubbles!
Ja: Uh-oh...

*Jala looks at the fish and sure enough, sees a collar reading "Mr. Bubbles".*

*End Flashback*

Ja: That's how it happened.
T: That's easy to fix!
Ja: How...
T: Just start going out with the Astrolonomer. Hahli will get so jelous, that she'll take you back to spite her.
Ja: You know, that might work! I'll see you later Takua!

*Jala drinks coffee. He ignites on fire and starts to melt.*

Ja: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
T: Oops. I swear, this thiing has no warning about possible spontaneous combustion...

The End

Okay people, come on and post. Comment on it, Review it, Flame it, give Plot Ideas, ask to Guest Star, ANYTHING. There isn't a review topic, so review it here... please.

-Elzaban

NOOO!!! NOT MR.BUBBLES!!! I LIKED MR.BUBBLES!!!
oh well.

*Onua Nuva walks in*
ON: heya Takua.
T: Hey Onua, if you remove this rock here, I'll give you a free coffee for 15 bios!
ON: Sure. *throws the rock out of the roof*
T: One cuppa coffee, comming right up!
*Takua presses a button, and a mug of hot extremely coffee drops down*
T: Hey, that's a first, it accually works!
ON: wait... What do you mean by that?
T: Err... Just drink it.
*Onua takes a sip of his coffee, and his lower jaw and mask melts off, causing his half-melted mask to drop off.*
ON: GAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!
*Onua runs to the hospital with his mask*
Takua: ...Hrmm... *checks heater* No wonder. Someone raised the tempeture of the liquid heater... But who?
*Inside Kopaka's office*
KN: Aww, common, it's time to take your bath!
P-K: You MUST Be Joking! That thermoniter bursted and melted in that tub of water! It's even melting the Tub!
KN: ... You point being?
*back at the bar*
T: There, that oughta set the tempeture right.
*Lewa Nuva walks in with a happy look*
T: Hello Lewa, why so happy?
LN: Hi Chronicler! I think i got a date with Gali!
T: How so?
LN: Well...
~ Flashback! ~

LN: Say Gali?
GN: Yes Lewa?
LN: ... Would you like to come for dinner 2 days from now?
GN: Are you asking me out in a date?
LN: Ermm... yea...*blushes*
GN: HA! When rocks fly, and Onua looses his mask!
*A Rock shaped as a matoran flies by, followed by Onua, running to the hospital, with his lower jaw melted off*
LN: ... A Date It Is! I'll pick you up on 7! *runs off*
GN: ... Dangit! What was the odds of that!
~ END Flashback! ~

T: So technicly, she didn't really agreed?
LN: No, but she did say that she'll go out with me if those things happened, and it did!
T: Good point. Say, wanna cuppa joe?
Joe: AHHHH!!!*Runs out, and gets hit by a passing Tahnok swarm*
LN: Sure!
*Lewa takes a sip of the cuppa joe, and spits it back out at Takua's face*
LN: Gah! This coffee tastes like a grounded up matoran that has been mixed with coffee beans, mixed with hot water!
T: Errm... It isn't? *hides a matoran's arm behind him*
LN: Oh... Okay. *Takes another drink of his cuppa joe*

Quite excellent. Hillariously funny. Just, if not better, as good as the old one. I would like to see more gore, though. Even without Joe getting killed basically all the time, it's quack-tastic.

Meteuro.

P.S. Maybe for the next one you should rename the cuppa Joe. Call it a Cuppa Jim and have Joe order one. That way, it's possible to have both Jim and Joe go 'AAAAAAAAARRRRGGHHHHHH' and get injured.

Yes, but you see, a cup of joe is coffee. But, we may use the trick we did last time and have someone named Mocha... speaking of which...

It's time for another episode of : BIONICE COFFEE SHOP!

*Greg Farshtey comes in and sits down.*

GF: hey Takua. Gimme a Mocha Latte.
Mocha: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

*Mocha runs around in circles, eventually digging a hole through the earth so deep that she melts.*

GF: On second thought, I'm more in the mood for a coffee.
T: One Cuppa Joe it is.
J: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

*Joe jumps in to the hole and crawls out half melted. He runs into the road where he is stepped on by Tahu.*

Th: Ew... Molten Plastic... That's never coming off!

*Back in the Coffee Shop.*

T: Here you are.
GF: Thanks.
T: So, what's the problem?
GF: It's those kids over on BZPower. They've been sending me questions non-stop. I haven't had time to even go home!
T:Why don't you just not answer them?
GF: Because, I'm to nice and cool a guy to not answer their questions.
T: What you need is a vacation.
GF: But how can I leave work unnoticed?
T: Leave that, to a proffesional.
GF: Huh?

*Greg turns around to see Kapura pop out of Nowhere.

GF: Kapura! What are you doing here?
Ka: I'm practicing...
GF: Right...
T: Kapura, Greg here needs your help in evading his job.
GF: Wait! He's the expert at being unnoticed?
T: Did you notice him just now?
GF: Well, no but--
T: Then he's a professional. Come on Kapura, let's go to the LEGO offices.
Ka: Okay...

*Kapura teleports them to The LEGO Company.*

GF: Uh-oh. Guards. How do we get past them?
T: Watch and learn.

*Kapura teleports them again. VWOIP! <--(SFX for Teleporting). They are in the Halls. Greg's Boss is walking by.*

GF: *whispers* Again you fool!

*VWOIP! to Greg's Office. The Boss is walking by.*

GF: Hurry! Hide!

*Boss sticks hgis head into Greg's office.*

Boss: Mr. Farshtey? Mr. Farshtey are you there? Hmm... Guess he's not there.

*Boss walks away.*

GF: *sigh of relief* Now, I'll just get my stuff and we're gone.

*Greg packs his briefcase full of all his stuff. He packs a Kopaka.*

T: Okay Greg, where to?
GF: Ko-Koro.
T: Kapura. Head to Ko-Koro.
Ka: I'm practicing...

*VWOIP! to Ko-Koro.*

T: Well Greg, I hope you have a good vacation.
GF: I will! Trust me!
T: Call us when you want to go home!
GF: I will. Bye!

*VWOIP! to the BCS.*

T: Well, that's been a long day. I think I need a Cuppa Joe.
Ka: Me, too...

*Joe and Joe's brother scream.*

J/JB: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

*They run through a brick wall, breaking all of there plastic, and fall down a 10 pothole into tar. Takua finishes the Coffee*

T: To Greg!
Ka: Ditto...

*They drink their coffee and run to the restrooms. Meanwhile, at The LEGO Company.*

Boss: No, I couldn't find him anywhere.
CW#1: Hmm, maybe he left?
CEO: Either way, we'll have to have the party comemerating his becoming Employee of the Year without him...
CW#2: DIG IN!

The End

This story was dedicated to GregF, one of the coolest guys around.

Come on people, more input. More suggestions/critisism/requests.

-Elzaban

This post has been edited by Elzaban the Ethereal: Apr 13 2003, 07:22 AM

BIONICLE COFFEE SHOP:

*Ryman910 walks in. He sits down at the counter.*

R910: Gimme a coffee...
T: One Cuppa Joe, coming right up!
J: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
R910: Who's that yelling?
T: Joe.
R910: Where is he?
T: Behind you.

*R910 turns around.*

R910: I don't see him.
T: Can you see me?
R910: Yes.
T: Can you see him behind you?

*R910 looks behind him again.*

R910: No.
T: Hmm... Hey Kopaka!
K: WHAT!
T: Come here a minute.
K: Okay...
T: Now, can you see Kopaka here?
R910: Yes.
T: Can you see Joe?

*R910 looks behind him again.*

R910: No.
T: Kopaka, give me you're Akaku.
K: Fine...

*Kopaka gives Takua his Akaku. Takua gives it to R910.*

T: Wear this, look behind you, and tell me if you see him...

*R910 does as he is told.*

R910: I see him!
T: Good...

*R910 turns back around.*

R910: Takua! Where'd you go?
T: You can't see me?
R910: No!
T: Can you see Kopaka?
R910: No!
K: I can't see anything! I'm BLIND!
T: Settle down Kopaka. Can you still see Joe.
R910: Yes...
T: Take off that Akaku and give it to Kopaka.

*R910 does so.*

T: Can you see me?
R910: Yes!
T: Can you see Joe?

*R910 turns around.*

R910: Yes!
T: Can you Kopaka?
R910: Yes!
K: I'm still blind here...
T: Go back to your office.
K: Fine...
T: Now, where were we?
J: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

*Joe runs out into the road, where he is trampled by several Llamas and a Guanco.*

T: Here's your coffee.
R910: I can't drink that, it's cold.
T: So it is...

*Takua presses a button. A giant fot kicks R910 out the door.*

R910: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
T: Goodbye now! Come again!

The End.

Expect another chapter soon.

-Elzaban

Heres an idea Joe being trampled melted and stomped on and eaten could now be afraid of everything he sees and hears and maybe a health inspector comes in

Lol, very funny! Poor Joe... he screams too much.
I have a guest star idea... the cast of Friends! You know how they're always in that blasted coffee shop in New York... put them in the BCC and the story practically writes itself!
And, if you're at a loss of ideas, stick me in there. A Toa who's addicted to coffee. Well, I'm obviously not a Toa in real life, but I do drink a lot of coffee... white chocolate truffle coffee.

QUOTE (RapToa @ Apr 13 2003, 09:56 PM)

Lol, very funny! Poor Joe... he screams too much. I have a guest star idea... the cast of Friends! You know how they're always in that blasted coffee shop in New York... put them in the BCC and the story practically writes itself! And, if you're at a loss of ideas, stick me in there. A Toa who's addicted to coffee. Well, I'm obviously not a Toa in real life, but I do drink a lot of coffee... white chocolate truffle coffee.

Don't watch Friends so I wouldn't know... but I can put you in... lemme call up Java, Joe's cousin in law...

-E

Those are so hilarious. Ireally wish I had that kind of talent where I could think of spending more $ on lottery tickets than I ended up winning. *lol*

Lesse here... have a health inspector come in *good idea, Dark Archon* and declare the coffee shop unable to support life or something. Also you should have maybe Saddam Hussein come in and do something.

Maybe Saddam could be the health inspector!


- Tahu Nuva -

really good! put me in, gladly! it's funny! i wish i knew more things to say!

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S BACK! And just as good as ever. Pity you don't watch Friends, that would be interesting. Hey, maybe Joe's family reunion! Joe, Java, Mocha, Latte, Juice(yes, it's a real name, I have a classmate called Juice), Cocoa, Mill K. Shake, Walter(water), etc.

I got an idea for a quest star me. I could be a guy that wants a cuppa a joe
joe: ahhhhh
joe getts put in a blender by a huge hand
and the bender gets turned on
like I was saying Let me quest star

May i please join in?If yes, I will be called Rakan
Me:Can i have a cuppa joe?
Joe:Ahhhhhhhhh!!*Runs out door and the rock version of Matu nui.
Me:On second thoughts, i'll have a coffee.
If yes, COOL!!

This post has been edited by Diablo:Lord of hate.: Apr 14 2003, 05:59 AM

Accually, were trying to keep injuries to a low.
... *everyone laughs for few seonds, and then stops together*...

~ Day 2 ~
*Takua enters*
KN: Takua, Your late.
T: Yeah well...
KN: Never mind, just tend to the bar.
Joe: Yeah! I want a mug of beer!
KN: We don't serve acholic beverages here. *takes a drink of his rootbeer*
Joe: Aww...
T: How about a cuppa coffee?
Joe: Sure!
*Gali Nuva walks in all sad*
T: Heya, Gali, What'll it be, A cuppa joe?
Joe: AHHH! *runs out, and gets hit by a passing Lehvak swarm*
GN: No... I'll just have a cup of water.
Walter: AHH! *Runs out, and gets hit by a passing Tarakava*
*Takua hands Gali a cuppa water*
T: So mind telling me what got you so blue? heh... Get it? Your blue!
GN: Oh ha ha. Anyways, i have a date with Lewa tomorow, but i don't want to go...
T: So don't.
GN: But then i would be seen as either rude, or forgetful...
T: Hrrrm... That is a toughy... Why not just go?
GN: But Lewa will then brag to the others...
T: Well then, why not just say that you'll just be friends, like to the others?
GN: Hrmm... That may just be crazy enought to work! I knew coming to you would be a good idea.*puts 1 bio on the table, and leaves*
T: ... But the water was free...
*Kopaka emreges from door*
KN: FREE MONEY??!! *grabs the bio on the table, and sniffs it* Why, this has the sent of Gali on it...
T: Yea, she was here a few minuites ago.
P-K: Don't even think about it!
KN: Think about what?
P-K: Don't even think about tying me up, and then tossing me outside to be mauled at by Gali.
KN: ... Takua?
T: Yea?
KN: Help me get tie up Pahrak-Kal over here.
P-K: ... Do'h!


This post has been edited by Radial the Crocupine: Apr 14 2003, 04:05 AM

QUOTE (rcxmaster nuva @ Apr 13 2003, 10:53 PM)

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S BACK! And just as good as ever. Pity you don't watch Friends, that would be interesting. Hey, maybe Joe's family reunion! Joe, Java, Mocha, Latte, Juice(yes, it's a real name, I have a classmate called Juice), Cocoa, Mill K. Shake, Walter(water), etc.

Ever read The Outsiders? There's a guy in that book called Sodapop.

Thanks to all for the suggestions. Expect to never see Saddam, Osama, or Hitler... well... maybe Hitler...

Anyways, as Radial said, we're trying to keep the gore to a minimum. See that image in my signature? See the quote from Kaiapu in the corner? Go to the old shop and find that quote, and read the part I didn't quote...

Expect my next episode this afternoon...

-Elzaban

BCS is brought to you by a grant from: THE CHEAT. And from supporty by viewers like you. Thank You!

*Takua is reading the newspaper. A thief comes in and steals a stool.*

T: Hey! Get back here with that! Kopaka!

*no answer*

T: I said, Kopaka!

*still no answer*

T: Hmm... where could he be?

*Kopaka walks in and sits where the stool used to be, falling on his behind.*

T: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
K: Grrr...

*Kopaka moves over to a real stool.*

T: You don't look so happy boss. What's the buzz?
K: I was just at the LCSOA meeting.
T: So?
K: They told us something that was breath-taking?
T: The good type, or the bad type like in that movie "Oxygen Thieves from Earth"?
K: Oxygen Thieves.
T: What was it?
K: We're being bought out by Starbucks...
T:
K: We have to leave the premesis within 4 hours.
T: OH NO! WHAT WILL WE DO!
K: We best use up the rest of the Joe.
J: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

*Joe runs outside, being crushed by a falling boulder.*

T: And that Java we never use.
Jv: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

*Java runs outside where she is carried away by a Nui-Rama.*

K: Oh, don't forget the Protodermis.
Pr/To/Er/Ms: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

*Pro, Tod, Err, and Miss all run out the door and fall down a cliff. They end up in the Mangaia. Back in the BCS, Takua and Kopaka have just drank all the remaining Joe, Java, and Protodermis. surprisingly, they haven't gained any weight, and they don't even feel sick.*

K: I guess in large quantities it isn't bad.
T: Go figure.

*Suddenly, the Starbuck's guy comes in.*

Sb: You guys have to leave now. We're buying you out!
T/K: Okay...
J: Wait, not so fast!
T/K/Sb: Joe!
J: Yes, it's me. And I have something that will stop you!
Sb: Oh yeah, what is it?
J: This!

*Joe hauls out the idol of Hapori Tofu.*

HTofu: I shall make you my slave!
Sb: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

*Hapori Tofu zaps the Starbuck's guy with eye beams. He falls under Hapori Tofu's control.*

J: There, all done. Ready to go back into storage?
HTofu/Sb: Yes...
J: Good...

*Joe puts them in storage. Later, Joe, Takua and Kopaka are sitting at a table, drinking milk.*

K: Hey Joe. Thanks for coming through for us.
T: Yeah, thanks for hauling HTofu out.
J: No problem.
K: One question remains though. Why didn't he enslave us again?
T: I guess he's not as smart as he thinks he is.
All: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

THE END

I'll give it a shot

Bionicle Coffee Shop

*Kopaka walks in*

Takua: Your late!

Kopaka: Oh no! please don't fire me! I'll give you half my salary!

Takua: Alright, but gett in your office before I change my mind!

Kopaka: Thank you sir *walks into office*

Takua: Wow, it worked!

*A large Toa with a lot of weapons walks in*

Takua: AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! What do you want *reaching for a button on the wall*

Large Toa: It's me! Krago!

Takua: What! The last time I saw you you were only as tall as me

Krago: Ummmm….. I had a growth spurt?

Takua: Cool. So, what'll it be?

Krago: Just a cup of joe

Joe: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! *Joe becomes paralysed with fear and can't move*

Takua: Coming right up *pushes a button on the wall* (thinking: Uh oh! Wrong button Think fast!)

*Takua picks up the scared stiff Joe and hurls him above Krago as liquid nitrogen is dumped on him. Joe is frozen solid (solider), hits the ground and shatters to nothing.*

Krago: Wow, that was close. Too bad for Joe.

Takua: Not to worry. *Takua turns up the heat*

*All the pieces of Joe melt, come together in a big puddle and reform into Joe (similar effect in The Terminator 2)*

Joe: Hey Takua. Hey…*looks up at Krago* AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! *runs out into the street and jumps on a trampoline and is sucked into a jet engine*
Pilot: Okay folks, if you turn to your left, you'll see the remains of what I think is an endangered Condor.

*Back at the Coffee Shop*

Krago: Well, I'm not really in the mood for coffee. See ya!

Takua: bye!

*later that night, Kopaka sits up in his bed*

Kopaka: Hey!

END

QUOTE (Elzaban the Ethereal @ Apr 13 2003, 09:01 PM)

QUOTE (RapToa @ Apr 13 2003, 09:56 PM) Lol, very funny! Poor Joe... he screams too much. I have a guest star idea... the cast of Friends! You know how they're always in that blasted coffee shop in New York... put them in the BCC and the story practically writes itself! And, if you're at a loss of ideas, stick me in there. A Toa who's addicted to coffee. Well, I'm obviously not a Toa in real life, but I do drink a lot of coffee... white chocolate truffle coffee. Don't watch Friends so I wouldn't know... but I can put you in... lemme call up Java, Joe's cousin in law... -E

Yeah you can use me as a charecter to by the way what happened to bob from bobs yadda yadda shop

I belive your suposed to PM Elza about entering your own peice...


*Tahu Nuva walks in*
T: Hello Toa, What can i get for you? A cuppa joe?
Joe: AHHHH!!!*Runs out, and fall into a tunnel made by a passing nuhvok swarm*
TN: Riiight... Anyhoo, why was there a beaten up Bohrok-Kal shell outside?
*Kopaka suddenly emerges from his office*
KN: WHAT!
TN: There was a Pahrak-Kal out there without a krana outside.
KN: NOOOO! *runs out to look for the Krana-Kal*
T: Umm... So what'll it be, Toa?
TN: Hrmm... Hot Moca Coffee sound good...
T: One Hot Moca Coffee, Coming right up!*Presses a button, and a cuppa moca coffee drops from above*
*Tahu takes a sip*
TN: WOW! THIS TASTE GREAT! *dumps the contents of the cup into his mouth* GIVE ME MORE!!!
T: I think you had enou-
TN: NOW!
*Takua Gulps, and then presses a button, and then a keg of Moca Coffee drops down*
TN: JOY!!! *starts drinking the keg, and passes out*
T: ... Tahu's now uncontious... Should i wake him, Joe?
sound from below: Take his wallet!
T: Okay.
*Takua's good and bad side apears on his right shoulder*
Good-T: Now now Takua, What would Tahu say if he found you taking his wallet?
T: You got a point there...
Bad-T: What are you... Nuts? Tahu proabably got hundreds of bios in there! I mean, It's THICK!
T: But that goes beond my ethical rights and good nature!
G-T: ... *Whacks Takua* What are you waiting there for! Grab it!
T: Hey, arn't you suposed to be on the side of good?
G&B-T: JUST TAKE IT!
T: Fine!
*Takua walks up to Tahu, takes his wallet and valuables*
Java: Now that wasn't very good.
T: ... Would you like some?
J: Okay! *grabs some of Tahu's valuables, and proceeds to move Tahu outside with the pahrak-kal*

~ 5 hours Later ~
*Rahu walks in, And everyone stares at him, scared*
R: Hello.
T: What would it be?
R: Oh nothing, I'm just here for yours and Java's soul.
T: But i'm not dead yet.
R: You will be, Once Tahu wakes up in a few minuites.
T: But don't i get a last request?
R: Meh... I don't see why not.
T: I wish for Tahu to only accuse Java for stealing his stuff
J: HEY!
*Tahu slams in and scans room*
TN: YOU! *Points at Java*
J: Aww poopstickle... *Runs out *
TN: What the- Come back here!*Runs after Java*
T: Ha, i beat your system!
R: I realy need to rethink this whole "Last Wishes" thing. *walks out*
T: ... Well, Nothing to see here, go back to whatever your doing.

Krago was given permission from me. He was one of the original authors, and is thus gien auto-permission.

-Elzaban the Ethereal

Im a pretty good writer, yet I mostly compose horror, not comedy. So this is my first shot at doing this:

The Doom Of Diedrich!!!!


*Takua hums a small melody as he is preparing to open up the shop*

T: Dum dee dum dum

*Onepu walks in*

Onepu: Sup T, hows it goin?
T: Pretty good, what can I do for ya?
Onepu: A good ol' cup of joe
Joe: *running frantically and screaming* THEBEESARECOMINGTOEATMYCHEESEPANTSOFSWISSANDTHEYAREMADBECAUSEISTOLETHEALLSACREDHONEYYYY*the noise begins to fade as he travels farther away from the shop*andallofthisisutterchaoswhywhouldsomeonewritesuchastupidthingaieeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! *Suddenly sounds of a giant creature come closer, then screams from joe fill the air as the beast devours him*
Onepu: Was that the um?....
T: Yep...
Onepu: Insane coffee dude?...
T: Mmm hmm....
Onepu: Doesnt he ever get tired from doing all of that crazy stuff?
T: Nope.
Onepu: How?
T: Energizer.
Onepu: Oh........

*A lagre boom from the doors fill the air*
*Kopaka runs to see all the ruckus*

K: Who the he.......NO! IT CANT BE!
T&O: Who?
*suspensful music begins playing*
K: Java Man!
T&O: Java Man?
JVMN: YES IT IS I JAVA MAN, JAVA MAN IS ME!
T&O: Whats so bad about him?
K: He steals customers from all of the really-bad coffee shops and....*gulp*.....he serves them GOOD TASTING COFFEE BLENDS!!!
O: NO!
K: YES!
T: Who does he work for? Starbucks?
K: Worse....
O: Makuta?
K: Even worse than that.....
T&O: What could possibly produce such a horror?!!
K: Diedrich!
*lightning and thunder effects fill the shop*
JVMN: Kopaka! I have caught finally with you up!
K: Huh?
JVMN: I mean I have finally caught up with you! For years I have hated this horrid place, and now with these documents *raises papers in the air and more doom-filled music surrounds the room*, I shall rid this place of its horrid flavor!
T: You will never take Le-Koro!
O:Um dude, that was Kong...
K: You will never shut us down! This place is the best! Just look at all the happy customers!
*Java Man looks around at all of the passed out and lifeless bodies*
Some Guy In The Background: KOPAKA'S COFFEE ROCKS!
JVMN: Right.....*ahem* oh yeah....For your refusal to accept my demands, you shall now see a world in which you do not my delicious treats!
O: *whispering to Takua* [I think he's been watching a little too much Invader Zim]
JVMN: YOU! PURPLE SHORT MAN! YOU SHALL BE THE FIRST TO FACE MY WRATH!
*Java Man throws a 3D hologram helmet at Onepu, which knocks him unconcious*
*Onepu is now forced by the device to watch the horror*
O: NO! YOU CANT MAKE ME!! *suddenly he is over come with joy by the sights* Mmmm! Puffy Whipped Cream, Orangey Orange Flavor, Thick and Creamy Caramel! And Little Crispy Almonds!
T: Onepu! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!
K: It is too late now............

Announcer: Will Onepu be able to ovecome this nightmare of sweet treats? Who is Java Man and why does he want to get rid of the shop so badly? And why is Joe being launched off a cliff with a kitty? Tune in next time to see the fate of Bobs Immitation Java-Flavored Soy-Based Coffee Supplement Hut! *drinks the coffee and turns red* It Burns!

This is THE funniest comedy in BZP. I defy someone to come up with a more original, funnier comedy than this. I give this a 10/10.

HN

PS: The above post is not counting GaliGee's "Interview with Makuta(again)". That has got to be the funniest thing I have ever read.

QUOTE (Elzaban the Ethereal @ Apr 13 2003, 10:57 AM)

T: Here's your coffee. R910: I can't drink that, it's cold. T: So it is... *Takua presses a button. A giant foot kicks R910 out the door.* R910: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! T: Goodbye now! Come again! The End.[/color] Expect another chapter soon. -Elzaban

Hey, ouch! *Rubs sore behind* You can't do that to me! I'll sue! Good chapter, E!

QUOTE (Ryman910 @ Apr 16 2003, 02:16 AM)

QUOTE (Elzaban the Ethereal @ Apr 13 2003, 10:57 AM) T: Here's your coffee. R910: I can't drink that, it's cold. T: So it is... *Takua presses a button. A giant foot kicks R910 out the door.* R910: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! T: Goodbye now! Come again! The End.[/color] Expect another chapter soon. -Elzaban Hey, ouch! *Rubs sore behind* You can't do that to me! I'll sue! Good chapter, E!

Sorry there Ryman. It was Kopaka's fault. He's the one that installed that darned foot.

-Elzaban

Guys! This story is Kickin', kinda like the foot Kopaka installed. Tell big-K I have an excellent self generated Joe-Juicer. I tried it on his grandpa the other day. Good, but kinda old. I reccomend having Joe's family come on.
Great story!

Bionicle Coffee Shop

*Takua walks towards the coffee shop when it explodes*

T: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! *sits up in his bead* oh, it was just a dream *Falls back to sleep*

*Many "Z"s later, Takua gets up and walks to the coffee shop*

T: I wonder what that dream meant?

*as he walks into the coffee shop, the first thing he sees is a stick of dynamite in Kopaka's hand*

T: AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! * Takua grabs the stick and throws it out the window*

K: Hey! That was my novelty cigar!

T: You don't smoke

K: Yeah, but it makes me look like a professional manager of a coffee shop. All the other ones are doing it and so were their fathers

T: yeah, but their fathers never lived past 35

K: Your right! I need to stop smoking!

T: but you never smoked in the first place…

K: Not now! Go and buy me some nicotine patches

T: but…

K: never mind, I'll get them myself *Kopaka runs out the door*

T: this cannot be good

*Kopaka returns with nicotine patches all over him*

K:Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugggggggg………

T: are you ok?

*Kopaka collapses on top of Joe and 3 other Matorans*

*At the hospital, Kopaka wakes up*

K: What's going on, *Turns his head to the left and sees nothing but fire* AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!! I've gone to He-

T: No, there's just a burning building across the street

K: Oh, ok

Doctor: We almost lost you there Kopaka, but luckily we were able to transfer your brain into a Kopaka Nuva we had laying around. Now let's check up on your friend Joe * the three walk towards The bed* Now I think the face cast can come off *Takes off the cast to see Hiki*

Huki: Hi

T: where's Joe?

H: I dunno, after Kopaka fell on me and the others I passed out

T: then Joe must have died *sigh* let's go back to the coffee shop

*at the coffee shop*

J: hey guys

T+K: Hi Joe

T: I'm beat, I think I need a cup of joe

J: AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!! *Joe runs out into the street where a Boat comes and runs Joe over*

T: Well, it's getting late. I'm going. *Takua leaves the shop* Oops, I forgot my hat * Takua walks back when he sees an explosion near the shop* Oh no, it's just like my dream! A-oh, wait, it's just the gun shop next door. *Takua runs in, gets his hat, and runs home

And the moral of the story is…….. is……….. I forget, you think of one, I'm out of here

Elzaban said I could write so here it goes:

*Lewa walks in and Takua has a very bad hangover*
L: I'll take a cuppa Joe.
J: AAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHHHHH! *Joe runs out of the store and runs into the rest of the Joe family who are all running out of other coffee shops*
T (angry): You can take a cuppa SHUSH UP!
Shush Up: AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH! *Shush Up runs out and trips over all the Joe's*
L: What's up with you?
T: *grumble, mumble, Chinese, grumble* I had a late night. *points to an empty bottle that says 'Late Night'*
L: No, really, what's wrong?
T: Ok, I'll tell you.

*Flashback Dream-like waves*
T(waving): Hi Flashback!
Fb: Hi Takua!
T: Thanks for giving me a lift.
Fb: It's ok.
*Flashback hands Takua a bottle of the softdrink Lift, who then drinks it*
Fb: Boy are you thirsty!
T: Yeah. So I'll see you at 6 to pick me up.
Fb: Ok, but its 6 O'clock now.
T: Oh, what a coincedence * *. I guess you can pick me up now then.
Fb: OK.
*Fb leans down and picks up Takua*
T: To the Bat Cave! I mean, to the 'Late Night' store!

*Ten hours later*

T: Offeug to the urgheurgh COFFEE! shop uerghughruegh. Hey eurh Look at the silly uegheurg Miru. Here Miru, Miru, Miru! *Falls over on all the Joe family and Shush Up, who were just beginning to stand up*

*Later*

T: So that's what happened.
L: *looks at 'Late Night' bottle and pulls off label to reveal the (DUH DUH DAH) Cuppa Joe label*

L: BUT THIS IS JUST A CUPPA JOE!
Joe: AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!! *Joe runs out and knocks a staggering Shush Up unconscious*
T: Yeah, it does that to me. I'm starting to get addicted to it. *starts eyeing Lewa's cuppa joe*

*Later that night*

*Takua is holding a keg of coffee, while wearing a lampshade on his head*

T: YEEEEEAAAAAAH! Let's PARty! *takes a drink of the coffee and immediately spits it out and becomes sober* ARGH! They were right, Bob did make it better.

The End

I'm pretty sure that it has enough words. I actually don't think it's that bad for a first try. It has gone through a fair bit of editing, though.

Meteuro.

It's now time for another episode of BZ POWERCA- um -COFFE SHOP!

*Kopaka walks in looking pleased.*

Takua: OH MY MATA-NUI! KOPAKA, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE! Oh, wait, you're smiling. What are you so happy about?
Kopaka: I just thought of a way to get people rushing in here like there is no tomorrow!
T: How?
K: Tell them there is going to be no tomorrow.
T: You honestly can't be serious. No-one is going to believe that the world is ending tomorrow.
Pohatu: What! The world is ending tomorrow! AARRGGHH! *Pohatu runs outside and is hit by a giant rock that Kopaka told Nuhvok Kal to throw to make the 'world-ending-tomorrow' thing look more convincing*

K: Well there goes plan A! *Picks up a piece of paper and crosses out the first set of writing*

K: On to plan B!
T: What's plan B?
K: It's our 30-day, money-back garuntee! If you return the coffee within 30 days you get double your money back!
T: I don't think that will work...

*Later that day, a line is coming out of the coffee shop and stretches back to a different Koro*

K: Wow! Business is great!
T (covered in coffee): I wouldn't be too sure about that.
Kongu: I'll have a Cuppa Joe.
Joe: AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH *Joe attempts to run outside to do something hilarious, but gets blocked by the line*
T: Coming right up.
*Takua gives Kongu the coffee who then spits it out at Takua and gets double his money.*
T: It's been like this all day!
K: Ok, Ok. It's time for Plan D!
T: Uh, don't you mean Plan C?
K: No, Plan C was to think of a Plan D. Plan D is to re-think Plan C.
*Thinks for a moment. Then looks at all the spit, coffee and vomit*
K: I got it! We can turn the coffee shop into a vomitorium!
T: Won't that be a little messy?
K (shrugging): Meh, you're the one who has to clean it up.

*The next day, at the Bionicle Vomitorium things are a little too messy*

K: Okay, maybe this wasn't the best idea in the world. Onto Plan C part 2!

*The next day at the Bionicle Swimming Pool*

T: Good idea! But where did you get all the water?
K: You DO NOT want to know.

The End.

If it was a little to gruesome with the vomitorium part, please let me know and I will try to keep it cleaner from now on.

Meteuro

This post has been edited by Meteuro: Apr 23 2003, 08:02 PM

QUOTE (takua255 @ Apr 23 2003, 08:27 PM)

Good one metoro!Can I write one?

First of all, it's Meteuro.

Second of all, you have to Pm Elzaban with a sample of your work. Elzaban will then tell you whether you can officially write for Bionicle Coffee Shop or not.

Metoro.... I mean, Meteuro. Oh no, it's beginning to get to me.

Okay folks, please don't spam up the shop.

And takua255, what do you mean? I'm right here.

Anyway, new episode time... later... If you guys gimme some ideas, I'll write a chapter.

-Elzaban

I have an idea. Have me walk in and order a cup of.........." joe runs out here" Water please. that would be so funny.

Bionicle Coffee Shop

Starring:
Takua as Himself
Joe as Himself
Kopaka as Himself
Makuta as Poor Sweaty Man
Guurahk as Herself
Gali Nuva as Herself
Gahlok Kal as Herself
Tahu as Charlie

*Scene opens. Takua is mopping up the drool coming from the sleeping Joe.*

T: Why don't we just kick him out? It's not like he's doing us any good.
Kp: No, you fool! He provides the ever-so-needed comic relief!
T: But this whole story is a comedy...
Kp: Stop! You're breaking the fourth wall!
T: It was already open...

*Kopaka and Takua look behind them. There is no wall. On the other side of where the wall should be, a man in boxors and a sweaty T-shirt with an unkempt beard is eating cereal. The room is obviously his kitchen/dining room.*

PSM: Hey! I'm trying to eat here!
Kp: Sorry...
PSM: Jeez, why can't I have a nice peaceful breakfast without some stupid robots interru-- Ack!

*Guurahk flys through the window of the Poor Sweaty Man's house and kicks him out the other window.*

PSM: Ahhhh!!!
Kp: Look out!

*Guurahk turns and zooms into the room. Gahlok Kal jumps in through the other window. Gali Nuva walks opens the door and walks in.*

T: *Gasp* It's Charlie's Angels!
Kp: No. It's Guurahk, Gahlok Kal and Gali Nuva.
T: Oh. Then it must be Tahu's Angels!
GN: Yep! That's us!
Grhk: And we're here to kill you!
GK: No! We're here to get Tahu's order of Coffee!
Grhk: Oh... right...

*Suddenly, Kopaka's Intercom turns on.*

Th: Girls! Have you gotten my coffee?
GK: No, we haven't... sorry Charlie...
Th: I'm Tahu, not Charlie!
GK: Oops. Sorry Tahu...
Th: Anyway, get back here with my coffee. I'm thirsty!
GK: Yes sir.

*Tahu's Angels leave with the coffee.*

Kp: Well... that was strange...
T: Yeah… to say the least…
J: Hey guys… Did I miss anything just now?
T: Don’t ask. Please don’t ask…
J: Okay…
Kp: So… anyone want some Joe?
J: Ahhh!!!

*Joe jumps through where the 4th wall should be and lands on the Poor Sweaty Man.*

T: I can safely say that that more than made up for Tahu’s Angels…
Kp: I concur. Let’s go buy you a shirt.
T: Yeah! Clothes!

*Meanwhile, someone lurks in the back of the Coffee Shop*

???: Yes… leave… leave the shop to me…

Who is “???”? Why does Tahu blatantly copy Charlie’s Angels? Why don’t the Toa and Matoran wear clothes? Why do I ask these questions? Stay tuned for the answers to completely different questions.

-Elzaban

umm... sorry for not posting the next part of my story, but my harddrive had problems...

Day 2, Night

*Lewa walks in with the side of his mask dented, charred, and a slap-print on his mask*
Ta: Woah... What happened to you, Did the date go horribly wrong and ended up in a bloodied mess?
LN: ... uhh... no... The date was perfect...
Ta: Care to explain the dent on your mask, the charr marks on you, and that slap-print then?
LN: Well...

~Flashback~ Note: LN refers to Lewa in real time, Lewa refers to Lewa in the flashback. the '--' refers to the change in timeline.

~Inside Ga-Koro gate, night-time, when all the good little mat-~
_BEEEP_ ERROR: Title too long for space provided_
LN: err... ignore that...
--
Lewa: Thanks for agreeing to go out with me...
Gali: Look, i had no choice. I always keep true to my word, and to get the others mis-lead, We are only friends. Nothing else.
Lewa: *looking a bit dissapointed* oh... okay... bye then!
--
LN: And then i turned around, and smashed my face on the gate's pillar.
Ta: Ouch...
LN: Anyways...
--
~Kini-nui~
Lewa: Man, this place still gives me the creeps...
*then a brown blurr speeds behind lewa*
Lewa: Wha?*turns back* Pohatu? is that you?
*then a blue blurr speeds above lewa*
Lewa: *looks up* Gali?
*and then the blue and brown things stoped infront of Lewa*
Lewa: What the heck are you!
Brown thinggie: Your worst nighmare.
--
LN: And then it slamed it's dagger into the ground, and then the gorund i was standing on blew up.
Ta: That would explain the charr marks...
--
~Ga-Koro, Gali's hut~
Gali: Ah... what a perfect night for a bath...
*just then, lewa "drops" in*
~End Flashback~

LN: And this slap-print is selfexplanitory.
Ta: Ah... So what were the brown and blue things?
LN: I have no idea... Say, can i have a cuppa joe?
Joe: AHHH!!!*runs outside, but gets hit by a blue blurr, and dissentergrates into dust*
Ta: What was that!
LN: What was what?
Ta: ... nevermind.
LN: Well... i'd better get going back to le-koro... Night.
Ta: Night.

Finally!!! A reply!!!
I have been waiting in the back of that coffee shop for some god to write another chapter. And it has finally happened. Hooray!!!



PS: I love the new chapter.

PPS: Can I guest star?

I'm sure Elza will think something up...

*Lerahk(Le) enters*
Ta: What would it- OH HOLY MAKUTA, WHAT THE VOID ARE YOU!!!
Le: I am Lerahk, Keeper of posion and maker of slow and painfull death!
Ta: What brings you here then?
Le: I... i... i was sent here to get a cuppa Joe for my father...
Joe: AHHHH!!!
*Joe runs around like a mindless yelling cool dude, untill Lerahk pokes him with his staff. Joe then drops, and evaporates into a pool of battry acid*
Ta: ... umm... I'm just gonna walk out and run for my life now...
Le: Oh, you don't have to fear me, My powers are entrapped in my staff.
Java: Oh cool, can i touch it?
Le: Heh, go ahead.
(Java touches Lerahk's Staff, and dies)
Ta: Lets make a deal. You don't kill my Widget Cows and i won't break your staff
Le: Ummm... Okay.
Ta: Now takes you cuppa joe and leave.
Joe: AHHH!!!(runs around, trips on Lerahk's staff, and dies of leprosy, even before he touches the floor)
Ta: Eww... now i have to deinfect this place again...
Le: Well, i'll be on my way now.
*Kopaka Nuva slams in*
KN: HOLD IT!
Le: Wha?
KN: You only paid 2 widgets!
Le: But you written that a cuppa cofffe costs 2 widgets!
Ta: Accually, That for a Cuppa Coffee. Cuppa Joes cost 4 widgets extra.
Le: What's the diffrence?
P-K: Well, Coffee is nothing more then grinded up beans and hot water. Cuppa Joes are made from Joe's dead bodies.
*Upon hearing this, Everyone in the shop looks into their cups, and sees small parts of Joes in it, Shrugs, and then contues drinking*
Le: I though your body was destroied when the Toa overloaded your power conduits?
PK: ... err... Say, how did you know that anyways? Were you even there?
KN: Tou'ce!
Ta: Look, Just pay up your 2 widgets, and leave.
Le: But i only Got 2 widgets...
KN: Then i'll take These untill you get your widgets. *grabs Lerahk's staff from the rod*
Le: aww...
*Lerahk walks out depresed and staffles*
PK: I wonder who was that anyways.
Ta: Dunno. I think two of them attacked Lewa yesterday.
KN: ... oh... Meh, Who cares.*grabs PK and drags him into his office*

~ Makuta's Lair ~
Mk: Dang kids, always running off with their new fangled stuff.
Turahk: Acually, Father, Wasn't it you who made us?
Mk: ... Shut up. Now where's Lerahk with my coffee?
Tu: I think he just locked himself in his labatory, complaining something about how expensive stuff are nowdays and how his staff got reposesed.
Mk: Does it look like i care? Now where's my coffee!
Tu: *Sigh* I'll get it...


This post has been edited by Radial the Crocupine: May 30 2003, 09:03 AM

How is it that when one of us thinks to add a chapter, the other one does too? It's starting to freak me out...

And yeah, I've come up with something. Hopefully it's funny, but I got too much dust on me to tell.

It's that time again! Bionicle Coffee Shop!

STARRING:

Takua as himself
Joe as himself
Kopaka as himself
Elzaban as himself
Broom from "Fantasia" as Moptron
BK Dumpster as Sentient Dumpster

<At the Coffee Shop:>

T: What a lovely day. The birds are chirping, the dogs are barking... the sky is darkening... darn. I was so looking forward to a picnic.
J: What! No picnic! Infidel! You shall die!

<Joe pulls out an slingshot and gets ready to shoot Takua.>

K: Cuppa Joe!
J: Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!

<Joe forgets about shooting Takua and runs outside. The "Giant Hammer of Crushing Stuff" crushes him.>

T: *sigh of relief* I thought I was a goner.
K: Good thing we finally realized that he is CuppaJoePhobic.
T: You think we should ever fix that 4th wall?
K: Nah, let Elzaban take care of it.
Elz: Hey! That 4th wall was on your side of the property line.
K: No it wasn't. Either way, it's your wall, you fix it.
Elz: Fine.

<Elzaban uses Author Magic to fix the wall.>

T: Good. Now we can have a private conversation.
Elz: You know, I can still hear you!
K: Yes, we have to keep our voices down.
Elz: I can still hear you...
T: Oh, do you ever shut up?

<Takua whacks Elzaban over the head with a mop.>

Mop: Ow!
K: Hark! That mop doth speak!
T: Oh boy, a talking mop... just what we needed...
K: You probably shouldn't have hit him over the head with it. That's the kind of brain damage that causes talking mops.
Mop: All tremble in fear! For I am Moptron! I will destroy you all!
T: With what?

<Moptron pulls out a laser and zaps Joe.>

T: I take back my question. Excuse me while I tremble in fear.
K: Now see here! You can't do this to my custo-- Gak!

<Moptron zaps Kopaka with lightning.>

Mop: Fool! How dare you defy Moptron the Omnipotent!
T: I've seen more omnipotent...
Mop: Fool! Do you even comprehend who you are speaking to!
T: A talking mop with a laser and a lightning rod. Got it.
Mop: You shall be the first to taste my wrath!
T: Third.
Mop: What?
T: *sigh* You killed Joe, and you electricuted Kopaka. I'll be the third to taste it.
Mop: Insolent Coffeemonger! How dare you question my logic.
T: You know, you have quite the ego...
Mop: Face my wrath!
T: No.

<Takua dumps Moptron into the water bucket and starts moping the floor with him.>

Mop: What! You can't do this! I am Moptron!
T: Shh! You'll just get soap in your mouth.
Mop: *grumbles*

<A few days later.>

T: Well, Elzaban gets back from the hospital today.
K: Good, we won't have to face more of the idiocy. Next time you need to knock some sense into him, don't.
J: I still can't believe that Spork with Legs was so easy to defeat.
K: That's what he got for stepping on my toes.
T: Well anyway, we should at least clean up before he comes home. It is his house afterall.

<Takua walks into Elzaban's backyard.>

T: Okay, who threw Sentient Dumpster into the pool!
J: Kopaka did it!
K: Shut up you.

<Kopaka gags Joe.>

K: He did it.
T: Joe! Get out here and clean this up! And don't go using Towel with Arms. He's still covered in poison ivy.
J: *mumble*

<Joe grabs Moptron and starts to mop up the mess left by Sentient Dumpster.>

THE END

If this is half as funny as I think it isn't, I've done my job.

On another note, I'm looking into the possibility of a Bionicle Coffee Shop Sprite Comic. If I do end up doing it, I'll tell you more details.

-Elzaban

Okay, Matu, I know you've been asking about this for a while, so you will be guest starring in the next episode. I'll make sure you have a special spot in it. It'll be up by tomorrow, if not sooner.

-Elzaban