My Life With The Bionicles, Hilarity ensues. Options

[Togariku]

Nope, not a word. That's one I made up.

Incidentally, you're also very right. One of the really hard things about comedy is when you have to write about something that really happened. Right now, I'm very hard at work on the next chapter. It's very long, and I'll be introducing a new character. However, once that one's done, we'll start the Origins saga, in which we can get back to the slapstick comedy we all know and love.

[Togariku]

Well, a week from Saturday I'm leaving for that two weeks or so that I've mentioned. Where to, you ask? Why, our nation's capitol, of course. That's right, folks, Mr. Tempo's visiting Washington, D.C. Interesting story, that. Apparently I was nominated for the NYLC, or National Young Leaders Conference. This raises an obvious question.

If they want people like me leading this country, how much trouble are we in for?

So I have to pack and get ready for all that. Very formal thing, you have to wear "professional attire" most of the time. It's going to be fun, though, and I'm looking forward to it.

Geez, my eighth-grade graduation dance on Friday was practically living Karzahni! It was my second dance ever, and it was certainly as bad as the first. In other words, it was so bad I hid on the other side of the school the whole time. And it sure didn't help that I had to wear a tuxedo when it was 90 degrees! Come on! I mean, the only thing worse is a pep rally. Of course, that shouldn't even be possible, which shows the gravity of the situation.

Eighth? Man, I feel old, I'm a senior this coming year...

I like wearing suits. Dunno why, just do. I'm good with tying ties, too.

But pep rallies do stink. We did them for a while this year, but that ended after it became clear that nobody liked it. "Pep," indeed.

Activating Odin's Bow... And what do you mean, bad? It was hilarious!

Well, a writer tends to be his own worst critic... by the way, before I forget, could you send me those other questions you wanted me to answer, 'cause I've forgotten and have to get ready for the trip and all...

Time to drop the hammer... *drops ten-ton hammer on Kualus* Quite literally.

I saw something on TV the other day with somebody getting a giant hammer, and it reminded me of what you said here. Which reminded me I needed to reply, even though the chapter's going slowly. I have to rewrite the entire beginning...

Lhikan was glad at Nuuvy being whacked? APOCALYPSE!

Well, even best friends get mad at each other. And one thing you don't want to do is mess with a chef's ingredients. It's the culinary equivalent of a famous artist walking back into his studio and finding somebody's finger painted on his canvas.

...and if that's not the best metaphor I've ever come up with, I don't know what is.

Also, there have been chapters in the past where everyone thanked Gali for whacking someone, so it's not the first time.

A pep rally? Because that was as bad as one of my dad's jokes. And that shouldn't be possible. Don't you just hate it when that happens?

I love bad jokes. I subsist off them, after all.

I'm sure Onua doesn't want to find out about his wife's "other side"... And how is it possible for someone to make Nuuvy look even remotely smart?

Oh, he knows, he's just very accepting. Gali's sort of the physical embodiment of what we wish we could do to stupid people.

As for the other half, do you really wanna know? Or would you rather sleep peacefully at night?

I never want to know, do I?

Probably not. That was actually a shout-out to Bioniclesmith's MLWTB millennia-later thing he mentioned. Of course, I forgot to mention it then. But I didn't mean to, honest! I'm glad I did it, though, initially I had that reference a joke I really can't repeat in full, along with the "bald monkey" thing. I changed them to things referencing jokes that don't actually exist.

*gapes*

And his first episode of Doctor Who had a gas-mask-wearing zombie kid asking people "Are you my mummy?" His two-parter this year includes a space library, and looks to be really good.

Vent more! Vent more!

I would, but that would leave a hole in the universe the exact size of...

...well, Belgium. That's not very dramatic, is it?

Sorry, that was another Moffat reference.

Are you sure you're not just imagining things? That you're not just desparate?

Perhaps, but can't I be allowed my delusions?

For the rest of what you said, I was just rambling on. I try to make people laugh outside the chapters as well, you see, but sadly my sphere of pop culture references goes back a few decades more than what you guys seem to be used to. That's what happens when you grow up on the Beatles, I suppose.

HAH! A peaceful day isn`t all that peaceful. Great new chappy!

Thanks as always!

However as a Jr. Groomsman I'm involved in the before the wedding lightsaber duel. My uncle is something of a star wars fanatic.

...before-wedding lightsaber duel?

...

...you really need to videotape that. And congratulations, by the way!

No it's not just you, I've noticed as well but I can't figure if it's from lack of chapters or new readers posting. I think it's both.

Ah, procrastination, the curse of all great writers. And me.

Actually, it's natural for that. If there were more chapters, we'd be on chapter four-hundred-something or something right now!

Most TV shows have a full writing staff. I have myself. You can see how things go differently from there. I have ideas for quite a while, but time is always a problem for me.

Said the guy calling himself "Lord of Time".

So, I have to work on that new chapter, and then hopefully have it done within the next couple of days, and then it's doubletime preparations for D.C. I have a chapter planned for New York, but I don't think I'll do one for this trip. Politics is serious business. As are children's card games.

While I'm thinking of it, remember the "Save the Band" promotion for the Inika back in 2006? Where the winner would get to go to an All-American Rejects concert? Well, I had decided that if I were to win, I'd do a storyline where the Boss attempted to kidnap the band and the Bioniteam had to save them. Which is the sole reason I should have won that contest. You don't see the real winner writing comedy about it, now do you?

[karate kid]

Well, a week from Saturday I'm leaving for that two weeks or so that I've mentioned. Where to, you ask? Why, our nation's capitol, of course. That's right, folks, Mr. Tempo's visiting Washington, D.C.

D.C.? been there. had to fly across the country, but i got to see it. try to check out the international spy museum. it's cool.

but time is always a problem for me.

Said the guy calling himself "Lord of Time".

very funny.

have fun in D.C.!

[Alaki Koridan Ma...]

Replication!

Well, a week from Saturday I'm leaving for that two weeks or so that I've mentioned. Where to, you ask? Why, our nation's capitol, of course. That's right, folks, Mr. Tempo's visiting Washington, D.C. Interesting story, that. Apparently I was nominated for the NYLC, or National Young Leaders Conference. This raises an obvious question.

If they want people like me leading this country, how much trouble are we in for?

So I have to pack and get ready for all that. Very formal thing, you have to wear "professional attire" most of the time. It's going to be fun, though, and I'm looking forward to it.

I would say something, but it wouldn't be appropriate on BZP. Not swearing or explicit stuff, just political bias.

Eighth? Man, I feel old, I'm a senior this coming year...

I like wearing suits. Dunno why, just do. I'm good with tying ties, too.

But pep rallies do stink. We did them for a while this year, but that ended after it became clear that nobody liked it. "Pep," indeed.

And now that we see each other eye to eye... Gah! Old dude!

Well, a writer tends to be his own worst critic... by the way, before I forget, could you send me those other questions you wanted me to answer, 'cause I've forgotten and have to get ready for the trip and all...

So have I. LOL

I saw something on TV the other day with somebody getting a giant hammer, and it reminded me of what you said here. Which reminded me I needed to reply, even though the chapter's going slowly. I have to rewrite the entire beginning...

What, was it Mario or something?

Well, even best friends get mad at each other. And one thing you don't want to do is mess with a chef's ingredients. It's the culinary equivalent of a famous artist walking back into his studio and finding somebody's finger painted on his canvas.

...and if that's not the best metaphor I've ever come up with, I don't know what is.

That ain't a metaphor. In fact, anytime you say you said a metaphor, you haven't. Dude, you need grammar to write comedies...

Also, there have been chapters in the past where everyone thanked Gali for whacking someone, so it's not the first time.

Which is why I never want to see Cats.

I love bad jokes. I subsist off them, after all.

In english, please.

Oh, he knows, he's just very accepting. Gali's sort of the physical embodiment of what we wish we could do to stupid people.

Wish we could? Not entirely in my case...

As for the other half, do you really wanna know? Or would you rather sleep peacefully at night?

Ha! Like I ever have...

Probably not. That was actually a shout-out to Bioniclesmith's MLWTB millennia-later thing he mentioned. Of course, I forgot to mention it then. But I didn't mean to, honest! I'm glad I did it, though, initially I had that reference a joke I really can't repeat in full, along with the "bald monkey" thing. I changed them to things referencing jokes that don't actually exist.

Okay, I've totally lost track of what you were saying. Then again, I'm not sure if you should bother to repeat it.

And his first episode of Doctor Who had a gas-mask-wearing zombie kid asking people "Are you my mummy?" His two-parter this year includes a space library, and looks to be really good.

Just see my personal statement.

I would, but that would leave a hole in the universe the exact size of...

...well, Belgium. That's not very dramatic, is it?

Sorry, that was another Moffat reference.

...What?

Perhaps, but can't I be allowed my delusions?

For the rest of what you said, I was just rambling on. I try to make people laugh outside the chapters as well, you see, but sadly my sphere of pop culture references goes back a few decades more than what you guys seem to be used to. That's what happens when you grow up on the Beatles, I suppose.

Actually, it was counterjoke to your joke. Ever hear of it?

...before-wedding lightsaber duel?

...

...you really need to videotape that. And congratulations, by the way!

I wholeheartedly agree.

Ah, procrastination, the curse of all great writers. And me.

Didn't you already say something about this in that post?

Most TV shows have a full writing staff. I have myself. You can see how things go differently from there. I have ideas for quite a while, but time is always a problem for me.

Said the guy calling himself "Lord of Time".

No Vahi for you! Then again, you've definitely been a member for more than a year...

So, I have to work on that new chapter, and then hopefully have it done within the next couple of days, and then it's doubletime preparations for D.C. I have a chapter planned for New York, but I don't think I'll do one for this trip. Politics is serious business. As are children's card games.

Luckily for me, I don't care for either of those. However, that reminds me of my idea for the return of the Finicky Five...

While I'm thinking of it, remember the "Save the Band" promotion for the Inika back in 2006? Where the winner would get to go to an All-American Rejects concert? Well, I had decided that if I were to win, I'd do a storyline where the Boss attempted to kidnap the band and the Bioniteam had to save them. Which is the sole reason I should have won that contest. You don't see the real winner writing comedy about it, now do you?

Who did win, anyways?

HA HA! A new chapter! Excellent!

Oh, and one week to go! WOOHOO! Did I say I get to go on a plane, by the way? First time in my life. *starts singing* I'm leaving on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again...

You lucky dog you. I have yet to be on a plane.

Sometimes my memory gets the better of me and I forget to point out important stuff. Sorry about that...

Sa'll right.

Togariku: Come on, guys, I want to show you something cool in the Egyptian exhibit.
Makuta: Really? How does he know what’s there? I didn’t read anything about it in the paper.
Kualus: Toga’s class went there earlier today.
Makuta: Really? He never said.
Keetongu: He did, I just don’t think you were listening…

(flashback!)

(Makuta is leaning over a table, staring intently at some chemicals he’s working with. He mixes them and stirs them in all sorts of combinations, moving nothing but his arms. Hydraxon and Kualus are standing there as well, observing him, and Toga enters the room.)crumbled


Togariku: Hey, Makuta, I’m going to this Egyptian museum exhibit for class next week.
Makuta: Hm. Okay.
Kualus: Also, the new Popular Mechanics came in the mail.
Makuta: Hrrmmm…
Hydraxon: And you’re on fire.
Makuta: That’s nice.

(end flashback!)

Kualus: You didn’t even notice when I got you with the fire extinguisher!
Makuta: I have to have priorities, Kualus.

I think Makuta needs new priorities.

Narrator: And there, they found a glass case containing a sarcophagus, along with a large stone tablet hanging on the wall, decorated with intricate carvings.
Nuhvok Va: Oh my gosh!
Makuta: I know, that’s a rather-
Nuhvok Va: It’s a giant rock!
Keetongu: *slaps forehead* Look at the carvings, Nuvvy.

Oh Nuvvy. I worry about you, I truly do.

Kualus: There’s a carving that looks a lot like the Dark One there. And there’s a guy with three hovering orbs… what are those, the crystals?

Holy poodels! The Dark One!

Keetongu: Well, you know how Toga’s a human with elemental powers? Well…
Nuhvok Va: The rock is gigantic!
Keetongu: …he’s just the latest in a line of empowered people called the Chosen Ones. Their job is to fight the Dark One, which is that big demon-looking thing…
Nuhvok Va: It’s a rock! And it’s huge!
Keetongu: …and the first Chosen One, Ouandis, sealed the Dark One away, but every thousand years the seal decays and the next Chosen One has to renew it so the Dark One doesn’t break free and reshape the world in his own horrific image. So this carving is-
Nuhvok Va: *singing* Like a rock! Oh, like a-
SFX: WHACK!

And my worries are well founded I see.

Makuta: Anyway, this tablet, which Nuhvok Va has so helpfully described as being large, apparently depicts the exploits of Xaindel, the Chosen One who represented the element of Air three thousand years ago.
Hydraxon: Well, the mummy is definitely that old, I can tell from the decay. And it looks like it was a male, you can tell from the width of the shoulders. But it’s not this Xaindel guy.
Togariku: Aw, really? I kinda wanted to see one of my predecessors. How do you know it’s not him?
Hydraxon: The info card has a different name.

(pause)

Makuta: Ah.
Keetongu: So… what, was he one of Xaindel’s buddies?
Hydraxon: I’m a doctor, Keetongu, not a miracle worker!

I'm glad you are telling more about the old chosen ones. The whole thing was a great idea, so I'm happy your expounding.

Makuta: Additionally, the Water crystal would be somewhat useless if one were to go solo.

One question. When Toga uses the water crystal he does it in his bionicle form with other bionicles. How does it work in with humans?

Nuhvok Va: *staring at the tablet* It’s a rock. And it’s gigantic. Wow… *stares in awe*

It's so sad. I wonder if Nuvvy likes that rock?

Nuhvok Va: It’s a giant stone…
Kualus: Sweet mother of Karzahni in a gravy boat, I think we finally broke him!

Broke him, crumbeld in to dust and blew away.

Narrator: Just then, Toga’s pocket began to glow brightly, and he pulled his iPod out of his pocket, revealing to everyone that its screen was now glowing in an unearthly green light, enough to illuminate the room. As he moved the bright screen out of his line of vision, the emerald luminescence swept over the sarcophagus in the center of the room.
SFX: *rumbling*
Kualus: Ooh, rumbling. Rumbling’s never good.

No rumbling's never good.

Hydraxon: A dead end!
Kualus: *panicking* Don’t say dead! Don’t say dead!

Oh that's good. Ha,ha.

Mummy: Mmmm… mmmy name is… Akil. You… *indicates Togariku* have the crystal, yes?
Togariku: Yeah, that’s me. By the way, sorry about running. It was just the freaky lights and reanimated dead that scared us a little.

Yeah, the last time that happened to me it freaked me out.

Narrator: At that moment, the mummy’s, that is Akil’s, index finger fell off.
Keetongu: Uh… awkward moment…

Yeah, when that happened at my birthday party it just stopped it out right.

Kualus: The others are never going to believe this, are they?
Keetongu: Not a word, Kualus. Not a word.

End Chapter One Hundred Seven

I wouldn't believe it ether. Good chapter Sir.

TTFN Ta-Ta For Now

[TahuSparrow]

Hello? Anyone in here?

Anyways, this is one of the best comedies ever, and I've only seen a few like this. It's made me laugh quite a few times. Good work, Tempo.

[Alaki Koridan Ma...]

Actually, I'm guessing it was the forum downage. M'kay, you're new to this comedy, right? I can't tell, I've seen too many members here to count. Anyways, more on topic, I'm working on the July chappie right now. I'll try to finish it by this week. Don't get mad if I don't.

[Alaki Koridan Ma...]

Yay! An excuse to write another ridiculously long reply!

(TARDIS materializes in topic)
SFX: *fingers snapping, then a creak as the doors open*

Did you miss me?

*pulls out holy hand grenade*

Okay, okay. It's been a while. There are three things that have contributed significantly to my absence:
1. Being in Washington for about two weeks. It was awesome, incidentally. Got to go to the National Archives (the experience of seeing the Declaration, Constitution, and Bill of Rights is fantastic), but missed out on the Library of Congress. It was closed for the holiday.
2. The video game "Final Fantasy Tactics A2: Grimoire of the Rift". Great, addicting game, but it has a few flaws in it I wish Square Enix had fixed...
3. I got back into LEGO Digital Designer, after a long absence from that. Shameless plug: you can see my stuff under the user "4bot" on the official LEGO Digital Designer page. It's not too great, but people have copied things without credit, so I must be doing something right!

1. A closed library... That's something you don't see every day. No, wait...
2. Haven't heard of that one yet. The only one I know of is the original Tactics. Did you know the world from it is taken from FFXII, which was released a few years later?
3. Really? That's new!

Alaki has been more productive than I, however, and has produced another quality guest star chapter for you all...

Another two. And this is just a call to action to get a third...

We're proud to be the first BZP comedy to have canonicity concerns!

*pulls out another holy hand grenade*

Ah, short and sweet. Thank you. Have I mentioned that part of that chapter was inspired by the movie "Night at the Museum"?

No, and I don't care.

The "dead end" joke's an oldie but a goodie. It's like some songs that get better with age. Say, pretty much anything by the Beatles.

Apparently, the Beatles band is as ubiquitous as Halo.

All I will say is that my fifth incarnation has really nice teeth. And my seventh looks a little like Harrison Ford.

*pulls out a wheelbarrow to hold all the holy hand grenades in*

Delphi, as in "Oracle of" or is it a different one? Oddly enough, I just started reading an Indiana Jones book involving the Oracle of Delphi...

Geez! Not out loud!

Yup, the crystal of Air was made after the Dark One was defeated. I think I got the timeline right. Let me see...
Ouandis, Filessan, Khalede, Xaindel, Quarsode, Bleziral... One thousand, two thousand, three-

Did I say "three thousand years ago" in the chapter? *checks* Okay, yeah. I did. Good thing...

Sigh...

Assuming that's not a rhetorical question... that'd be when Makuta split Toga into various parts, each with a different element. Though the joke there was Pahrak-Kal refusing to even try to pick up Keetongu, as I recall...

Actually, I was referring to other media. It is a pretty common joke, after all.

Hydraxon can't be a main for the simple fact that, if you count the Narrator, the cast of main characters is double that of "Friends". That's a lot to keep track of. Though since I'm doing chapters where not every main character appears, that means that major supporting characters like Hydraxon, the Vahki, Takua and Jaller with their band, Takanuva, and other favorites can appear more often. As for that list on the first post, I may delete that. It takes up space and doesn't really do much.

Aw, man...

All I can say to such a nice comment is, "Thank you." So, well, thank you. Sincerely.

...

Okay, in my next chappie, Serasha meets her worst enemy! Stay tuned! Or whatever the MLWTB equivilent is! ...Did I spell that right?

I finally read it all!!!! this is my favorite comidy of all time! and i read all 100-somethin chapters, and each one is great!!

[Lewa0111]

Tempo, you're still doing a great job on this, as usual! I must say, it was interesting that the latest chapter involved ancient Egypt when I've been going through a big Egypt-phase lately.

Togariku: Hey, Makuta, I’m going to this Egyptian museum exhibit for class next week.
Makuta: Hm. Okay.
Kualus: Also, the new Popular Mechanics came in the mail.
Makuta: Hrrmmm…
Hydraxon: And you’re on fire.
Makuta: That’s nice.

That was the best part of the chapter! Congratulations, you won the "Made Lewa0111 laugh out loud for at least five minutes after reading" Emoticon Award:

I'm sorry I haven't been posting lately--I've been really busy, but all of it's been great! KIU, Tempo!

Lewa0111

[karate kid]

Keetongu: He did, I just don’t think you were listening…

(flashback!)

(Makuta is leaning over a table, staring intently at some chemicals he’s working with. He mixes them and stirs them in all sorts of combinations, moving nothing but his arms. Hydraxon and Kualus are standing there as well, observing him, and Toga enters the room.)

Togariku: Hey, Makuta, I’m going to this Egyptian museum exhibit for class next week.
Makuta: Hm. Okay.
Kualus: Also, the new Popular Mechanics came in the mail.
Makuta: Hrrmmm…
Hydraxon: And you’re on fire.
Makuta: That’s nice.

now that's funny.

Kualus: You didn’t even notice when I got you with the fire extinguisher!
Makuta: I have to have priorities, Kualus.

what priorites?

Makuta: I know, that’s a rather-
Nuhvok Va: It’s a giant rock!

Nuhvok Va: The rock is gigantic!

Nuhvok Va: It’s a rock! And it’s huge!

Nuhvok Va: *singing* Like a rock! Oh, like a-
SFX: WHACK!
Keetongu: Thank you, Kualus.
Kualus: You’re welcome. But don’t tell Gali, ‘cause if she finds out I stole her gag, she’s gonna kill me.

Nuvy has a way of stating the obvious several times.

Hydraxon: Well, no, but that’d be horrendously predictable if the mummy got up and started talking to us.
Keetongu: Well, let’s wait and see if he gets up, shall we?

(five minutes later…)

Keetongu: *snoring*
Kualus: Wasn’t this his idea?

i didn't know they could snore...

Togariku: Nuvvy? Nuhvok Va?
Kualus: I… don’t think he’s here.
Hydraxon: You know what this means, right?
Keetongu: We arm-wrestle for his ice cream?

that's not a bad idea... especialy if it's not sugar free...

Akil: Light? So then it has been… *counts on fingers* One thousand, two thousand, three…
Narrator: At that moment, the mummy’s, that is Akil’s, index finger fell off.
Keetongu: Uh… awkward moment…

that's a little creepy.
sorry i didn't get this done earlier. almost non-stop babysitting makes it hard.

I finally finished the entire story and I loved it! One of my favorite jokes was the reference to "Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon", but I cant remember the exact quote. It involved Nuvvy hiding behind your cat. I think it would be hilarious to see a bad guy army's reaction to Emergency Plan Alpha Q Thirty-Three X-Zed Niner (aka pointy hats and lederhosen). KUTGW!

[Alaki Koridan Ma...]

Okay, I'm back, and I have a whole bunch of new storyline thoughts for MLWTB and beyond! Also, Makajawan ROCKED! I even got to make shuriken there!

[Vorzahk Master]

The sharp pointy throwing stars? Aren't those made of steel?

-=VM=-

[karate kid]

poison ivy, scraped knee, sprained ankle, and a wood cutter almost falling on you all at the same time? Ouch. that must hurt. good thing laughter is the best medicine.

seriously, though, i think dominus temporis is on a long vacation or something. but schools starting again soon, so we may yet again hear from him.

[Togariku]

All right, let's do this.

My Life With The Bionicles Chapter One Hundred Eight: In Which Some Of The Minor Characters Steal The Limelight OR You Wouldn’t Get This Chapter From Any Other Guy

Narrator: It was a regular Tuesday for Kualus. He was busy in his apprenticeship duties in the lab, while Makuta had the day off. At the moment, he was busy calibrating a pencil sharpener.
Kualus: And when I’m finished, it’ll shoot lasers! Everything’s better with lasers. One last adjustment and… there! Now to finish my last project for the morning and… and… oh, snap!
Narrator: What is it?
Kualus: I can’t find it! It’s gone!
Narrator: Well, you can always call the others in to help…
Kualus: Won’t work. Gali, Onua, and Keetongu went off to an art gallery. Toga’s at school, and Pahrak-Kal and the Hagah followed him. And Makuta, Nuhvok Va, and Lhikan are going fishing.
Narrator: Fishing?
Kualus: Yeah, they said they were going to the city. Why there would be fish there is anyone’s guess…

(meanwhile, at an aquarium…)

Lhikan: These fish aren’t biting at all. Maybe we should be using different bait.
Makuta: I’m going to repeat myself, but this isn’t a good idea. Also, there are security guards coming toward us.
Lhikan: I’m sure they’re going to congratulate us on our technique.

(back home…)

Kualus: Come to think of it, I’m not sure I want to know about it.
Narrator: So, what to do? Who else is there?
Kualus: Well, there’s plenty of other Bionicles around. Surely they could help…

A couple of weeks ago, in 2007, a crack commando squad ate a lot of brownies and some of them got a really bad tummyache.
These Bionicles promptly escaped from what passed as the house’s medical ward to play some Nintendo.
Today, still not having learned a lesson about overeating, they survive as minor char- err, soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire…

The B-Team.

Kualus: …what the heck was that?
Narrator: That was my dramatic opening. Nice, eh? Plus, it gave these guys time to get in the room!

(Kualus turns and realizes that Takanuva, Nuurakh, Vorzakh, Hydraxon, Takua, Jaller, and Pridak have all assembled behind him)

Pridak: Yo.
Vorzakh: Do you have any brownies?
Narrator: Kualus then explained what they were going to look for. He had recently been working on a spy robot to monitor enemies like the Boss, the Finicky Five, Doctor Liebowitz, IBCUT, etcetera etcetera. However, as it turned out, although he had thought he wasn’t quite done with the machine…
Kualus: …so I was going to call her later, but the maple syrup just got over everything…
Takanuva: And she went for the wok because of that? That’s just insane.
Narrator: Ah. Yes. I forgot Kualus sometimes goes off on tangents. So… while we wait for him to get to the relevant bit, I suppose I’ll just twiddle my thumbs. How do you twiddle, anyway? That’s a rather strange word, “twiddle”, eh? Who came up with that word? Oh, now he’s getting to the exposition.
Kualus: …so it turns out that the battery was a bit more charged than I’d thought and the cloaking device was fully functional, and it must have gotten up and just walked away.
Hydraxon: Well, I can see why that’s a bad thing. Makuta won’t be very happy about that.
Takanuva: It can’t be worse than when that blue macaroni completely covered that restaurant in-
Jaller: You know we still don’t talk about that!
Takanuva: Whoops. Sorry.
Nuurakh: Okay then, so we’ll get to looking on that. I see you’ve got blueprints here, we’ll be taking a copy of those, if that’s all right.
Kualus: Yep. While you’re gone, I’ll be on the computer and-
Pridak: Monitoring our progress?
Kualus: Uh, yes. That is exactly what I was just about to say.
Narrator: As the others left the labunker, Kualus took a seat at a large computer monitor.
Kualus: Well, at least my seat’s finally at the right level. Open window and… heh heh, I love these cats in funny poses. Oh, how those felines make me laugh!
Narrator: *slowly tiptoes backward out of room*

(later, in the ship…)

Nuurakh: Okay, so we’re going to check all the obvious locations first. Which is where all the villains we’ve ever fought happen to be.
Takua: What makes you think the spy probe was stolen?
Nuurakh: Its legs are far too small to have made it up the stairs.
Takanuva: Ouch. Bad planning there.
Hydraxon: Say, I’ve been doing a lot. Am I a main character yet?
Everyone: NO!
Takanuva: I had the first line in this comedy-
Narrator: *clears throat*
Takanuva: -right after the Narrator, and they still haven’t made me a main character yet. Even after my hilarious antics after the Family Feud game.
Pridak: We Barraki helped out in the last vacation storyline, and no love for us either.
Jaller: Takua and I had an entire chapter to us and our band and we’re only supporting roles. And Bomonga tried to be a main character in one chapter and look what happened to him.

(pause)

Hydraxon: What happened to him?
Jaller: He’s not a main character.
Vorzakh: I can only put my frustration in song! *starts screeching* ONLY A SUPP-
Narrator: At that moment, Nuurakh pulled out a small remote control and hit a button amusingly marked “Mute”. A glass dome slid out from the top of the ceiling and dropped down around Vorzakh.
Nuurakh: Sound dampeners. Gotta love them.
Pridak: …can he breathe in there?
Nuurakh: Probably.
Toa Vakama: So, shall we be off to our first stop then?
Toa Whenua: And can someone get us some ice cream?
Narrator: Everyone realized that there was a large armchair in the room, facing a recently installed TV, and Toa Whenua and Toa Vakama were sitting in it.
Toa Vakama: Did you miss us?
Jaller: When did you get in here?
Toa Whenua: Tuesday. We’ve been watching TV. So, let’s do this and maybe they’ll make all of us main characters!

(yeah, good luck with that)

(later…)

Narrator: The ship landed at the place where there would obviously be the largest gathering of villains the guys had fought. Naturally, this was a prison. Hydraxon had hooked Doctor Liebowitz, who hadn’t appeared since Chapter 89, up to a lie detector.
Hydraxon: Now, if you tell a lie, I’ll know. And you may get a painful electrical shock.
Dr. Liebowitz: You resort to torture for information?
Hydraxon: No, but Kualus built this, so the shocks are to be expected.
Takua: Question one: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck-
Jaller: Look, do you know anything about a spy probe?
Dr. Liebowitz: Why, what does it look like?
Vorzakh: Oh, y’know… sorta probe-y… and spyish. Very spyish.
Dr. Liebowitz: I have no clue what you’re talking about.
Pridak: *examines lie detector* He’s telling the truth.
Nuurakh: It’s Vorzakh talking, of course he doesn’t have a clue. Besides, he’s in prison, how would he have stolen it?
Narrator: With that, they decided to look for one of the other villains they’d faced against in hopes that they had the spy probe.
Toa Vakama: Hmm… *looks on list* Fred Claus?
Nuurakh: Still in custody at the North Pole.
Toa Whenua: IBCUT?
Takanuva: They probably have their own spy probes.
Pridak: The Finicky Five?
Vorzakh: Also in prison! Right here, to be precise.
General Greasy: What’s up, guys?
Takua: …the Zargon the team fought on planet Grlonk?
Jaller: You’re kidding us, right?
Hydraxon: Then that leaves only one!
Narrator: Ah, you must mean…

(a little later, somewhere else entirely…)

Nuurakh: Okay, you sick freak, where’s the spy probe?!
Narrator: Seriously? The card-playing nerd from the chapter where they tried to return the curtains?
Nuurakh: Were you thinking of somebody else?
Narrator: Kind of, yeah!

(in a secret underground lair…)

Vorzakh: All right, you sicko, where’s the spy probe?!
The Boss: (annoyed) You are talking to my steed, not to me. The camel is displeased.
Vorzakh: Oh. Sorry. Do a lot of people make that mistake?
The Boss: Not really.
Narrator: There, this is much better.
Hydraxon: Okay, spy probe. Stolen. Why. When. Where. How.
Toa Vakama: And sometimes Y.
Pridak: Wait… my ability to sense electrical fields is going off. There’s something electrical in here.
The Boss: Yes, there’s a lot of computers. Didn’t you notice those coming in? I have not seen your spy probe. I don’t know where it is, and besides, I can easily build my own.
Nuurakh: Forgive us if we don’t believe you.
The Boss: Fine, then. Just… shut the door on the way out, will you? I’m working on several villainous plots that may or may not form the basis of the next saga, or at least a small storyline, and it’s hard to work with a draft.
Takanuva: We’ll do that, and we’ll take this laptop that is surely chock-full of secret plans you’ve conveniently left out for us to swipe!
Narrator: They left the Boss in surprisingly less fury than one would expect, and they took the ship back home to report their findings, or lack thereof.

(back in the labunker…)

Kualus: Guys! Guys! Guess what? I-
Hydraxon: Never mind that, we’ve got hold of a laptop, formerly belonging to the Boss, which is bound to have info on all his future plans.
Narrator: Vorzakh triumphantly opened the lid of the laptop and…
SFX: (singing) Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down…

(pause as everyone’s jaws drop)

Pridak: …uh…
Narrator: Did the Boss just Rickroll us?
Takanuva: I do believe he did.
Kualus: That’s fine, anyway! Look what I found!
Narrator: Kualus led the shocked B-Team over to his large monitor, and as an afterthought, collapsed a window displaying an owl with a rather shocked expression on its face. He spun his chair around, displaying…
Everyone: The spy probe!
Kualus: Yeah, it turns out I left it on my chair. I must have inadvertently switched the cloaking on and forgotten about it. On the plus side, it makes a great booster seat. Y’know, you guys don’t look too angry. Are you angry?
Vorzakh: Can we have brownies?
Kualus: Sure, you earned them after all that hard work.
Takua: Then no, we aren’t!
Narrator: And so the gang went up to snack on some brownies, all with the same thought in mind: “what was the point of this chapter?!”

End Chapter One Hundred Eight

This post has been edited by Dominus Temporis: Sep 1 2008, 08:10 PM

All right, let's do this.

My Life With The Bionicles Chapter One Hundred Eight: In Which Some Of The Minor Characters Steal The Limelight OR You Wouldn’t Get This Chapter From Any Other Guy

Narrator: It was a regular Tuesday for Kualus. He was busy in his apprenticeship duties in the lab, while Makuta had the day off. At the moment, he was busy calibrating a pencil sharpener.
Kualus: And when I’m finished, it’ll shoot lasers! Everything’s better with lasers. One last adjustment and… there! Now to finish my last project for the morning and… and… oh, snap!
Narrator: What is it?
Kualus: I can’t find it! It’s gone!
Narrator: Well, you can always call the others in to help…
Kualus: Won’t work. Gali, Onua, and Keetongu went off to an art gallery. Toga’s at school, and Pahrak-Kal and the Hagah followed him. And Makuta, Nuhvok Va, and Lhikan are going fishing.
Narrator: Fishing?
Kualus: Yeah, they said they were going to the city. Why there would be fish there is anyone’s guess…

(meanwhile, at an aquarium…)

Lhikan: These fish aren’t biting at all. Maybe we should be using different bait.
Makuta: I’m going to repeat myself, but this isn’t a good idea. Also, there are security guards coming toward us.
Lhikan: I’m sure they’re going to congratulate us on our technique.

(back home…)

Kualus: Come to think of it, I’m not sure I want to know about it.
Narrator: So, what to do? Who else is there?
Kualus: Well, there’s plenty of other Bionicles around. Surely they could help…

A couple of weeks ago, in 2007, a crack commando squad ate a lot of brownies and some of them got a really bad tummyache.
These Bionicles promptly escaped from what passed as the house’s medical ward to play some Nintendo.
Today, still not having learned a lesson about overeating, they survive as minor char- err, soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire…

The B-Team.

Kualus: …what the heck was that?
Narrator: That was my dramatic opening. Nice, eh? Plus, it gave these guys time to get in the room!

(Kualus turns and realizes that Takanuva, Nuurakh, Vorzakh, Hydraxon, Takua, Jaller, and Pridak have all assembled behind him)

Pridak: Yo.
Vorzakh: Do you have any brownies?
Narrator: Kualus then explained what they were going to look for. He had recently been working on a spy robot to monitor enemies like the Boss, the Finicky Five, Doctor Liebowitz, IBCUT, etcetera etcetera. However, as it turned out, although he had thought he wasn’t quite done with the machine…
Kualus: …so I was going to call her later, but the maple syrup just got over everything…
Takanuva: And she went for the wok because of that? That’s just insane.
Narrator: Ah. Yes. I forgot Kualus sometimes goes off on tangents. So… while we wait for him to get to the relevant bit, I suppose I’ll just twiddle my thumbs. How do you twiddle, anyway? That’s a rather strange word, “twiddle”, eh? Who came up with that word? Oh, now he’s getting to the exposition.
Kualus: …so it turns out that the battery was a bit more charged than I’d thought and the cloaking device was fully functional, and it must have gotten up and just walked away.
Hydraxon: Well, I can see why that’s a bad thing. Makuta won’t be very happy about that.
Takanuva: It can’t be worse than when that blue macaroni completely covered that restaurant in-
Jaller: You know we still don’t talk about that!
Takanuva: Whoops. Sorry.
Nuurakh: Okay then, so we’ll get to looking on that. I see you’ve got blueprints here, we’ll be taking a copy of those, if that’s all right.
Kualus: Yep. While you’re gone, I’ll be on the computer and-
Pridak: Monitoring our progress?
Kualus: Uh, yes. That is exactly what I was just about to say.
Narrator: As the others left the labunker, Kualus took a seat at a large computer monitor.
Kualus: Well, at least my seat’s finally at the right level. Open window and… heh heh, I love these cats in funny poses. Oh, how those felines make me laugh!
Narrator: *slowly tiptoes backward out of room*

(later, in the ship…)

Nuurakh: Okay, so we’re going to check all the obvious locations first. Which is where all the villains we’ve ever fought happen to be.
Takua: What makes you think the spy probe was stolen?
Nuurakh: Its legs are far too small to have made it up the stairs.
Takanuva: Ouch. Bad planning there.
Hydraxon: Say, I’ve been doing a lot. Am I a main character yet?
Everyone: NO!
Takanuva: I had the first line in this comedy-
Narrator: *clears throat*
Takanuva: -right after the Narrator, and they still haven’t made me a main character yet. Even after my hilarious antics after the Family Feud game.
Pridak: We Barraki helped out in the last vacation storyline, and no love for us either.
Jaller: Takua and I had an entire chapter to us and our band and we’re only supporting roles. And Bomonga tried to be a main character in one chapter and look what happened to him.

(pause)

Hydraxon: What happened to him?
Jaller: He’s not a main character.
Vorzakh: I can only put my frustration in song! *starts screeching* ONLY A SUPP-
Narrator: At that moment, Nuurakh pulled out a small remote control and hit a button amusingly marked “Mute”. A glass dome slid out from the top of the ceiling and dropped down around Vorzakh.
Nuurakh: Sound dampeners. Gotta love them.
Pridak: …can he breathe in there?
Nuurakh: Probably.
Toa Vakama: So, shall we be off to our first stop then?
Toa Whenua: And can someone get us some ice cream?
Narrator: Everyone realized that there was a large armchair in the room, facing a recently installed TV, and Toa Whenua and Toa Vakama were sitting in it.
Toa Vakama: Did you miss us?
Jaller: When did you get in here?
Toa Whenua: Tuesday. We’ve been watching TV. So, let’s do this and maybe they’ll make all of us main characters!

(yeah, good luck with that)

(later…)

Narrator: The ship landed at the place where there would obviously be the largest gathering of villains the guys had fought. Naturally, this was a prison. Hydraxon had hooked Doctor Liebowitz, who hadn’t appeared since Chapter 89, up to a lie detector.
Hydraxon: Now, if you tell a lie, I’ll know. And you may get a painful electrical shock.
Dr. Liebowitz: You resort to torture for information?
Hydraxon: No, but Kualus built this, so the shocks are to be expected.
Takua: Question one: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck-
Jaller: Look, do you know anything about a spy probe?
Dr. Liebowitz: Why, what does it look like?
Vorzakh: Oh, y’know… sorta probe-y… and spyish. Very spyish.
Dr. Liebowitz: I have no clue what you’re talking about.
Pridak: *examines lie detector* He’s telling the truth.
Nuurakh: It’s Vorzakh talking, of course he doesn’t have a clue. Besides, he’s in prison, how would he have stolen it?
Narrator: With that, they decided to look for one of the other villains they’d faced against in hopes that they had the spy probe.
Toa Vakama: Hmm… *looks on list* Fred Claus?
Nuurakh: Still in custody at the North Pole.
Toa Whenua: IBCUT?
Takanuva: They probably have their own spy probes.
Pridak: The Finicky Five?
Vorzakh: Also in prison! Right here, to be precise.
General Greasy: What’s up, guys?
Takua: …the Zargon the team fought on planet Grlonk?
Jaller: You’re kidding us, right?
Hydraxon: Then that leaves only one!
Narrator: Ah, you must mean…

(a little later, somewhere else entirely…)

Nuurakh: Okay, you sick freak, where’s the spy probe?!
Narrator: Seriously? The card-playing nerd from the chapter where they tried to return the curtains?
Nuurakh: Were you thinking of somebody else?
Narrator: Kind of, yeah!

(in a secret underground lair…)

Vorzakh: All right, you sicko, where’s the spy probe?!
The Boss: (annoyed) You are talking to my steed, not to me. The camel is displeased.
Vorzakh: Oh. Sorry. Do a lot of people make that mistake?
The Boss: Not really.
Narrator: There, this is much better.
Hydraxon: Okay, spy probe. Stolen. Why. When. Where. How.
Toa Vakama: And sometimes Y.
Pridak: Wait… my ability to sense electrical fields is going off. There’s something electrical in here.
The Boss: Yes, there’s a lot of computers. Didn’t you notice those coming in? I have not seen your spy probe. I don’t know where it is, and besides, I can easily build my own.
Nuurakh: Forgive us if we don’t believe you.
The Boss: Fine, then. Just… shut the door on the way out, will you? I’m working on several villainous plots that may or may not form the basis of the next saga, or at least a small storyline, and it’s hard to work with a draft.
Takanuva: We’ll do that, and we’ll take this laptop that is surely chock-full of secret plans you’ve conveniently left out for us to swipe!
Narrator: They left the Boss in surprisingly less fury than one would expect, and they took the ship back home to report their findings, or lack thereof.

(back in the labunker…)

Kualus: Guys! Guys! Guess what? I-
Hydraxon: Never mind that, we’ve got hold of a laptop, formerly belonging to the Boss, which is bound to have info on all his future plans.
Narrator: Vorzakh triumphantly opened the lid of the laptop and…
SFX: (singing) Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down…

(pause as everyone’s jaws drop)

Pridak: …uh…
Narrator: Did the Boss just Rickroll us?
Takanuva: I do believe he did.
Kualus: That’s fine, anyway! Look what I found!
Narrator: Kualus led the shocked B-Team over to his large monitor, and as an afterthought, collapsed a window displaying an owl with a rather shocked expression on its face. He spun his chair around, displaying…
Everyone: The spy probe!
Kualus: Yeah, it turns out I left it on my chair. I must have inadvertently switched the cloaking on and forgotten about it. On the plus side, it makes a great booster seat. Y’know, you guys don’t look too angry. Are you angry?
Vorzakh: Can we have brownies?
Kualus: Sure, you earned them after all that hard work.
Takua: Then no, we aren’t!
Narrator: And so the gang went up to snack on some brownies, all with the same thought in mind: “what was the point of this chapter?!”

End Chapter One Hundred Eight

I've just started reading your story. It is really good! Keep up the good work.

[Lewa0111]

Another hilarious piece of work, Tempo!

Hydraxon: Say, I’ve been doing a lot. Am I a main character yet?
Everyone: NO!
Takanuva: I had the first line in this comedy-
Narrator: *clears throat*
Takanuva: -right after the Narrator, and they still haven’t made me a main character yet. Even after my hilarious antics after the Family Feud game.
Pridak: We Barraki helped out in the last vacation storyline, and no love for us either.
Jaller: Takua and I had an entire chapter to us and our band and we’re only supporting roles. And Bomonga tried to be a main character in one chapter and look what happened to him.

(pause)

Hydraxon: What happened to him?
Jaller: He’s not a main character.

Poor Bomonga...

Narrator: And so the gang went up to snack on some brownies, all with the same thought in mind: “what was the point of this chapter?!”

Ya know, I'd been wondering the same thing.

Despite a rather odd plot (or lack thereof), you managed to pull off yet another great chapter! KIU, Tempo!

Lewa0111

[Vorzahk Master]

Hehe... Rickrolled... I only have some idea what that means, but that's better than I usually manage. (Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say good-) Ow! Shutting up.

-=VM=-

YES!! YOU'RE BACK!!

Lhikan: These fish aren’t biting at all. Maybe we should be using different bait.
Makuta: I’m going to repeat myself, but this isn’t a good idea. Also, there are security guards coming toward us.
Lhikan: I’m sure they’re going to congratulate us on our technique.

That one made me snicker. The whole "fishing in a aquarium" thing had been done before but you still made it funny.
I'll tell you the truth this whole chapter was a great comeback chapter and was full of funny things I could quote and give my appinion of, but I'm tiered so I'll just do the best ones.

Kualus: Well, at least my seat’s finally at the right level. Open window and… heh heh, I love these cats in funny poses. Oh, how those felines make me laugh!
Narrator: *slowly tiptoes backward out of room*

I'm really not sure what the cat thing means but the way you dropped in feline was funny.

Jaller: When did you get in here?
Toa Whenua: Tuesday. We’ve been watching TV. So, let’s do this and maybe they’ll make all of us main characters!

That's when you know you have a problem.

Hydraxon: Now, if you tell a lie, I’ll know. And you may get a painful electrical shock.
Dr. Liebowitz: You resort to torture for information?
Hydraxon: No, but Kualus built this, so the shocks are to be expected.

Ha, ha that was probebly the best part. My mind tends to work like that so I love it when I see that kind of humor.

Nuurakh: Okay, you sick freak, where’s the spy probe?!
Narrator: Seriously? The card-playing nerd from the chapter where they tried to return the curtains?
Nuurakh: Were you thinking of somebody else?
Narrator: Kind of, yeah!

Respect the classics man! I've changed my mind, THAT was the best part!

Narrator: Vorzakh triumphantly opened the lid of the laptop and…
SFX: (singing) Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down…

(pause as everyone’s jaws drop)

Pridak: …uh…
Narrator: Did the Boss just Rickroll us?
Takanuva: I do believe he did

.
Recent exploits on Y****** have led to a lot of Rickrolling on my part. This just felt close to home. And funny.

Well I'm so glad you came back. For awhile there I thought you'd left us out on a limb. It's good to have you back.
TTFN Ta-Ta For Now!

This post has been edited by BIONICLESMITH: Sep 8 2008, 08:01 AM

[karate kid]

Narrator: It was a regular Tuesday for Kualus. He was busy in his apprenticeship duties in the lab, while Makuta had the day off. At the moment, he was busy calibrating a pencil sharpener.
Kualus: And when I’m finished, it’ll shoot lasers! Everything’s better with lasers.

a pencil sharpener is better with lasers?
can i have one?

Kualus: Won’t work. Gali, Onua, and Keetongu went off to an art gallery. Toga’s at school, and Pahrak-Kal and the Hagah followed him.

i hope the hagah don't try any jokes on the teacher...

And Makuta, Nuhvok Va, and Lhikan are going fishing.
Narrator: Fishing?
Kualus: Yeah, they said they were going to the city. Why there would be fish there is anyone’s guess…

(meanwhile, at an aquarium…)

Lhikan: These fish aren’t biting at all. Maybe we should be using different bait.
Makuta: I’m going to repeat myself, but this isn’t a good idea. Also, there are security guards coming toward us.
Lhikan: I’m sure they’re going to congratulate us on our technique.

i can just picture three bionicle figues perched on the edge of a tank, fishing. i would laugh like crazy

Nuurakh: Sound dampeners. Gotta love them.
Pridak: …can he breathe in there?
Nuurakh: Probably.

they don't have lungs, so how do they breathe in the first place?

Nuurakh: Okay, you sick freak, where’s the spy probe?!
Narrator: Seriously? The card-playing nerd from the chapter where they tried to return the curtains?
Nuurakh: Were you thinking of somebody else?
Narrator: Kind of, yeah!

now that's looking back.

The Boss: Fine, then. Just… shut the door on the way out, will you? I’m working on several villainous plots that may or may not form the basis of the next saga, or at least a small storyline, and it’s hard to work with a draft.

ah, irony.

Narrator: And so the gang went up to snack on some brownies, all with the same thought in mind: “what was the point of this chapter?!”

to satisfy the hunger of everyone waiting for a new chapter, of course.

[Alaki Koridan Ma...]

Finally, he's back! Which means that if I take down all my homework, and get my trip to New York on the weekend done quickly, I can finish my chapter still in the process of being made! Speaking of which, there are TWO chapters I sent out that haven't been posted yet! And there's a flaw in one of them, by the way. We can correct it later. Anyways...

My Life With The Bionicles Chapter One Hundred Eight: In Which Some Of The Minor Characters Steal The Limelight OR You Wouldn’t Get This Chapter From Any Other Guy

Except Me

Narrator: It was a regular Tuesday for Kualus. He was busy in his apprenticeship duties in the lab, while Makuta had the day off. At the moment, he was busy calibrating a pencil sharpener.
Kualus: And when I’m finished, it’ll shoot lasers! Everything’s better with lasers.

...A pencil sharpener? With lasers? Gulp... And Makuta's going to get another day off in the winter. At the beach. During December.

Kualus: Won’t work. Gali, Onua, and Keetongu went off to an art gallery. Toga’s at school, and Pahrak-Kal and the Hagah followed him. And Makuta, Nuhvok Va, and Lhikan are going fishing.
Narrator: Fishing?
Kualus: Yeah, they said they were going to the city. Why there would be fish there is anyone’s guess…

(meanwhile, at an aquarium…)

Lhikan: These fish aren’t biting at all. Maybe we should be using different bait.
Makuta: I’m going to repeat myself, but this isn’t a good idea. Also, there are security guards coming toward us.
Lhikan: I’m sure they’re going to congratulate us on our technique.

(back home…)

Kualus: Come to think of it, I’m not sure I want to know about it.

Uh... Smart idea, Kualus...

A couple of weeks ago, in 2007, a crack commando squad ate a lot of brownies and some of them got a really bad tummyache.
These Bionicles promptly escaped from what passed as the house’s medical ward to play some Nintendo.
Today, still not having learned a lesson about overeating, they survive as minor char- err, soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire…

The B-Team.

Kualus: …what the heck was that?
Narrator: That was my dramatic opening. Nice, eh? Plus, it gave these guys time to get in the room!

(Kualus turns and realizes that Takanuva, Nuurakh, Vorzakh, Hydraxon, Takua, Jaller, and Pridak have all assembled behind him)

Pridak: Yo.
Vorzakh: Do you have any brownies?

Vaon, attack!
Vaon: My pleasure. Whacks all around! S'on me!

Kualus: …so I was going to call her later, but the maple syrup just got over everything…
Takanuva: And she went for the wok because of that? That’s just insane.
Narrator: Ah. Yes. I forgot Kualus sometimes goes off on tangents. So… while we wait for him to get to the relevant bit, I suppose I’ll just twiddle my thumbs. How do you twiddle, anyway? That’s a rather strange word, “twiddle”, eh? Who came up with that word? Oh, now he’s getting to the exposition.

Vaon, they want an encore!
Vaon: Sure thing!

Hydraxon: Well, I can see why that’s a bad thing. Makuta won’t be very happy about that.
Takanuva: It can’t be worse than when that blue macaroni completely covered that restaurant in-
Jaller: You know we still don’t talk about that!
Takanuva: Whoops. Sorry.

Well, I see Jaller's still the brains...

Kualus: Well, at least my seat’s finally at the right level. Open window and… heh heh, I love these cats in funny poses. Oh, how those felines make me laugh!
Narrator: *slowly tiptoes backward out of room*

Er... Last time I checked, he floated.

Nuurakh: Okay, so we’re going to check all the obvious locations first. Which is where all the villains we’ve ever fought happen to be.
Takua: What makes you think the spy probe was stolen?
Nuurakh: Its legs are far too small to have made it up the stairs.
Takanuva: Ouch. Bad planning there.

Maybe they should have made some repulsorlifts...

Hydraxon: Say, I’ve been doing a lot. Am I a main character yet?
Everyone: NO!
Takanuva: I had the first line in this comedy-
Narrator: *clears throat*
Takanuva: -right after the Narrator, and they still haven’t made me a main character yet. Even after my hilarious antics after the Family Feud game.
Pridak: We Barraki helped out in the last vacation storyline, and no love for us either.
Jaller: Takua and I had an entire chapter to us and our band and we’re only supporting roles. And Bomonga tried to be a main character in one chapter and look what happened to him.

(pause)

Hydraxon: What happened to him?
Jaller: He’s not a main character.

Instead, he got stuck carrying two Matoran and a huge yellow Rahi.

Vorzakh: I can only put my frustration in song! *starts screeching* ONLY A SUPP-
Narrator: At that moment, Nuurakh pulled out a small remote control and hit a button amusingly marked “Mute”. A glass dome slid out from the top of the ceiling and dropped down around Vorzakh.
Nuurakh: Sound dampeners. Gotta love them.
Pridak: …can he breathe in there?
Nuurakh: Probably.

Of course not! You guys don't breathe anyways!

Toa Vakama: So, shall we be off to our first stop then?
Toa Whenua: And can someone get us some ice cream?
Narrator: Everyone realized that there was a large armchair in the room, facing a recently installed TV, and Toa Whenua and Toa Vakama were sitting in it.
Toa Vakama: Did you miss us?
Jaller: When did you get in here?
Toa Whenua: Tuesday. We’ve been watching TV. So, let’s do this and maybe they’ll make all of us main characters!

(yeah, good luck with that)

I wholeheartedly agree.

Narrator: The ship landed at the place where there would obviously be the largest gathering of villains the guys had fought. Naturally, this was a prison. Hydraxon had hooked Doctor Liebowitz, who hadn’t appeared since Chapter 89, up to a lie detector.
Hydraxon: Now, if you tell a lie, I’ll know. And you may get a painful electrical shock.
Dr. Liebowitz: You resort to torture for information?
Hydraxon: No, but Kualus built this, so the shocks are to be expected.
Takua: Question one: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck-
Jaller: Look, do you know anything about a spy probe?
Dr. Liebowitz: Why, what does it look like?
Vorzakh: Oh, y’know… sorta probe-y… and spyish. Very spyish.
Dr. Liebowitz: I have no clue what you’re talking about.
Pridak: *examines lie detector* He’s telling the truth.
Nuurakh: It’s Vorzakh talking, of course he doesn’t have a clue. Besides, he’s in prison, how would he have stolen it?

Vorzakh, I'm having a Gali Nuva and Vaon- I mean, singer- convention. Want a ticket?

Toa Vakama: Hmm… *looks on list* Fred Claus?
Nuurakh: Still in custody at the North Pole.
Toa Whenua: IBCUT?
Takanuva: They probably have their own spy probes.
Pridak: The Finicky Five?
Vorzakh: Also in prison! Right here, to be precise.
General Greasy: What’s up, guys?
Takua: …the Zargon the team fought on planet Grlonk?
Jaller: You’re kidding us, right?

...Odd... Hey, I might be able to use the FF in a new chapter! Keep on the lookout...

Nuurakh: Okay, you sick freak, where’s the spy probe?!
Narrator: Seriously? The card-playing nerd from the chapter where they tried to return the curtains?
Nuurakh: Were you thinking of somebody else?
Narrator: Kind of, yeah!

Sigh...

Vorzakh: All right, you sicko, where’s the spy probe?!
The Boss: (annoyed) You are talking to my steed, not to me. The camel is displeased.
Vorzakh: Oh. Sorry. Do a lot of people make that mistake?
The Boss: Not really.

Is the camel's name Tohu?

Narrator: There, this is much better.
Hydraxon: Okay, spy probe. Stolen. Why. When. Where. How.
Toa Vakama: And sometimes Y.

I agree, but it should be just "When. Where. How."

Pridak: Wait… my ability to sense electrical fields is going off. There’s something electrical in here.
The Boss: Yes, there’s a lot of computers. Didn’t you notice those coming in? I have not seen your spy probe. I don’t know where it is, and besides, I can easily build my own.
Nuurakh: Forgive us if we don’t believe you.
The Boss: Fine, then. Just… shut the door on the way out, will you? I’m working on several villainous plots that may or may not form the basis of the next saga, or at least a small storyline, and it’s hard to work with a draft.
Takanuva: We’ll do that, and we’ll take this laptop that is surely chock-full of secret plans you’ve conveniently left out for us to swipe!
Narrator: They left the Boss in surprisingly less fury than one would expect, and they took the ship back home to report their findings, or lack thereof.

Awkward... By the way, one of this later ones will fail both before it starts and after it ends... My next chappie will explain it.

Kualus: Guys! Guys! Guess what? I-
Hydraxon: Never mind that, we’ve got hold of a laptop, formerly belonging to the Boss, which is bound to have info on all his future plans.
Narrator: Vorzakh triumphantly opened the lid of the laptop and…
SFX: (singing) Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down…

(pause as everyone’s jaws drop)

Pridak: …uh…
Narrator: Did the Boss just Rickroll us?
Takanuva: I do believe he did.

I don't want to know what that is...

Narrator: Kualus led the shocked B-Team over to his large monitor, and as an afterthought, collapsed a window displaying an owl with a rather shocked expression on its face.

...

Everyone: The spy probe!
Kualus: Yeah, it turns out I left it on my chair. I must have inadvertently switched the cloaking on and forgotten about it. On the plus side, it makes a great booster seat. Y’know, you guys don’t look too angry. Are you angry?
Vorzakh: Can we have brownies?
Kualus: Sure, you earned them after all that hard work.
Takua: Then no, we aren’t!
Narrator: And so the gang went up to snack on some brownies, all with the same thought in mind: “what was the point of this chapter?!”

To irritate me because you put this up instead of one of my own chappies...

For the people that don't know, RickRolled is linking to a certain video, but say your linking to something else. I would give an example, but the name of the site is censored for some reason, so I probably shouldn't.

Actually, to be more specific, RickRolled is saying that a link leads to a certain site/video, when it actually leads to a video of Rick Ashley singing "Never gonna give you up". They have a whole site dedicated to it. And the fact that the Boss was able to pull it off is really scary.

A-Janus



End Message.

This post has been edited by A-Janus: Sep 6 2008, 07:30 PM

[Togariku]

I come bearing replies, and news of the next chapter!

First of all, you don't wanna know where I was all that time. It's a long story. And, more importantly, very boring. In other news, my school's doing Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Night's Dream" for the fall play. I play Bottom, an actor who gets his head turned into a donkey's.

...long story there too. It's one of his comedies, though, so it's funny.

I've just started reading your story. It is really good! Keep up the good work.

Thanks! By the way, don't feel obligated to quote the entire chapter. It, um, kinda makes scrolling harder. Though if it means you liked the whole thing, I can't say I'm offended.

Poor Bomonga...

Eh, he's been doing fine. He's currently kicking mask and taking names at Super Smash Bros. Brawl. Which reminds me, I did figure out which characters everybody would play. I'll get around to posting that later.

Hehe... Rickrolled... I only have some idea what that means, but that's better than I usually manage. (Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say good-) Ow! Shutting up.

Hee hee. I actually like the sound of the song. I have odd music taste. I like lots of things.

That one made me snicker. The whole "fishing in a aquarium" thing had been done before but you still made it funny.

Really? The only time I've seen it before was in an old Looney Tunes cartoon. It's odd because I never really liked those kinds of old cartoons like that so much. Rocky and Bullwinkle was more to my liking.

I'm really not sure what the cat thing means but the way you dropped in feline was funny.

Ever see the picture of the cat with the caption "I CAN HAS CHEESEBURGER" or something like that? There's a whole site of those out there. I had another version of that line that sounded smoother, but I forgot it.

Respect the classics man! I've changed my mind, THAT was the best part!

I've always loved the curtain-returning one. It's not my best, but I figured I might as well pay tribute to an oldie. (psst... you might wanna edit your post to take out that site name, by the way. I know that everybody capable of using a computer and finding this site knows the name of that video site anyway, but rules are rules, regardless of how silly they are.)

a pencil sharpener is better with lasers?
can i have one?

If you can find one, of course. I'd try Staples.

i hope the hagah don't try any jokes on the teacher...

It's really more a case of getting most of the main characters out of the way. I wanted to do a chapter where hardly any main characters appear, and in fact I think this is the first one where neither Toga nor Nuvvy have a single line. Nuhvok Va's in the background during that brief aside at the aquarium, but he doesn't say anything. I'm planning another one that does something kinda like this later on.

they don't have lungs, so how do they breathe in the first place?

Same way they eat, of course- stealthily.

Okay, so I guess somebody called me on the inconsistency there. (two people did, actually) I'm going to go on the record as saying that they can breathe, but only if they feel like it. They don't have to if they don't want to.

Eating, of course, simply involves conversion of matter into energy, thus making it easier to recharge elemental energy. Once I thought of introducing the concept of certain kinds of foods regenerating certain kinds of elemental energy, but that just seemed too outrageous.

Except Me

I'll get to yours tomorrow, both of them. The secondary title's actually based on the lyrics from "Never Gonna Give You Up":

We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy

I was having trouble thinking of a secondary and so left it until I finished the chapter to see if I could get anything from what I'd written. I very nearly forgot.

...also, I'm finding your new predilection for abusing fictional characters slightly disturbing. At the very least, you could do it to ones who really deserve it. Like Eragon. Or anybody from the Twilight series.

Seriously, why does every other teenage girl in America have a vampire obsession? I have half a mind to adapt MLWTB into a novel, make every other one of the characters a vampire, and watch as it becomes a bestseller overnight.

Come on, they freaking sparkle! Vampires do not sparkle, Miss Meyer!

Er... Last time I checked, he floated.

He does, when he wants to. Assuming I'm not contradicting anything else I've written, the form that the Narrator takes in the MLWTBverse is about two feet tall. Now, when he's around humans, he generally levitates around five feet, so he can be at a decent speaking level. But when Toga goes Bionicle, or there are just the LEGO guys around, he stays on the ground so he's not unnecessarily towering above them. Plus, saying "*floats slowly backward out of room*" just hasn't got the same punch.

Is the camel's name Tohu?

No, I haven't decided on that yet. I know the Boss's name, and actually the Dark One's as well. It popped into my head at McDonald's. No, really. I almost thought of a name for the camel in this chapter, but the one I thought of was too close to that of another name I'm planning to use. I have to admit, "the camel is displeased" is quite possibly my favorite line from this chapter. That or the bit about the electric shocks. That was just a Crowning Moment of Awesome for my imagination.

They have a whole site dedicated to it. And the fact that the Boss was able to pull it off is really scary.

The thing is, none of the Boss's big schemes ever come to fruition. But I do feel sorry for him, so I gave him a small victory. I think he's earned it.

So, next time in MLWTB: A new character joins the household! But it's not at all who you'd expect. And... it's a girl? Yes, readers, we come one step closer to gender balance (really, LEGO should've released more female Bionicles) in the next chapter!

This post has been edited by Dominus Temporis: Sep 6 2008, 09:28 PM

[keeper of kraata]

I come bearing replies, and news of the next chapter!

First of all, you don't wanna know where I was all that time. It's a long story. And, more importantly, very boring. In other news, my school's doing Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Night's Dream" for the fall play. I play Bottom, an actor who gets his head turned into a donkey's.

...long story there too. It's one of his comedies, though, so it's funny.

I love that play!

I'm really not sure what the cat thing means but the way you dropped in feline was funny.

Ever see the picture of the cat with the caption "I CAN HAS CHEESEBURGER" or something like that? There's a whole site of those out there. I had another version of that line that sounded smoother, but I forgot it.

You mean this?

[Togariku]

I love that play!

So do I, I think it's going to turn out really well. Plus, the set work is coming along faster than it ever has, so this may be our best one yet.

Of course I had to play the guy who gets his head turned into a donkey's, though. I've got a bit of a reputation as a funny guy even in the real world, and as I've said before, I just can't take anything completely seriously. So the part fits me perfectly, of course.

You mean this?

Yup, that's the one. It shouldn't be that funny, but it is. And I love it.

Very creative, well done on the explanation.

Thanks! But actually, both the breathing and eating explanations are inspired by other sources. How they breathe comes from an episode of Fairly Odd Parents when Timmy wishes Cosmo and Wanda could both be human so they can masquerade as his parents. They nearly choke before they figure out they have to breathe "all the time".

And eating was inspired a bit by book series Animorphs, where there's a race of robots that use holograms to disguise themselves as humans, but get around eating by converting food into energy they can use (which makes the disguise even better, as nobody would suspect a robot of eating a burger).

Is this character going to become a main?

For now, I'm just going to say "major supporting character." Depends on how popular she is. Plus, I have it set up so that if I need to cleverly remove her from the plot, there's a decent way of doing so.

Oddly enough, the idea for this character popped into my head outside Wal-Mart. Supermarkets and fast food restaurants are where I do my best thinking, apparently.

Anyway, in the meantime, I'm going to play some more Final Fantasy Tactics A2. Have to get all those clan privileges, and then I'm going to try to recruit one more clan member (I'm hoping to make a Gria Geomancer with some levels as a Raptor for magic power...)

This post has been edited by Dominus Temporis: Sep 7 2008, 11:06 AM

[Alaki Koridan Ma...]

Let's hope I don't overdo my quote count for this...

First of all, you don't wanna know where I was all that time. It's a long story. And, more importantly, very boring. In other news, my school's doing Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Night's Dream" for the fall play. I play Bottom, an actor who gets his head turned into a donkey's.

...long story there too. It's one of his comedies, though, so it's funny.

When I was in drama class, I was the only one to play two (count 'em, TWO) parts in it. Sure, both were small, and it was only one scene (it wasn't a real play), but it was still two!

Hee hee. I actually like the sound of the song. I have odd music taste. I like lots of things.

Same here. Though the way you said that was creepy in an odd sort of way...

Ever see the picture of the cat with the caption "I CAN HAS CHEESEBURGER" or something like that? There's a whole site of those out there. I had another version of that line that sounded smoother, but I forgot it.

...Weird...

If you can find one, of course. I'd try Staples.

My sister is OBSESSED with the easy button.

Same way they eat, of course- stealthily.

Okay, so I guess somebody called me on the inconsistency there. (two people did, actually) I'm going to go on the record as saying that they can breathe, but only if they feel like it. They don't have to if they don't want to.

Eating, of course, simply involves conversion of matter into energy, thus making it easier to recharge elemental energy. Once I thought of introducing the concept of certain kinds of foods regenerating certain kinds of elemental energy, but that just seemed too outrageous.

Then again, so is this comedy.

I'll get to yours tomorrow, both of them.

THANK you. BTW, there's an error in the one with the Tahtorak: It's Calm Mind, not Cosmic Power.

...also, I'm finding your new predilection for abusing fictional characters slightly disturbing. At the very least, you could do it to ones who really deserve it. Like Eragon. Or anybody from the Twilight series.

Seriously, why does every other teenage girl in America have a vampire obsession? I have half a mind to adapt MLWTB into a novel, make every other one of the characters a vampire, and watch as it becomes a bestseller overnight.

Come on, they freaking sparkle! Vampires do not sparkle, Miss Meyer!

Explain the first paragraph, but NOT the other two.

He does, when he wants to. Assuming I'm not contradicting anything else I've written, the form that the Narrator takes in the MLWTBverse is about two feet tall. Now, when he's around humans, he generally levitates around five feet, so he can be at a decent speaking level. But when Toga goes Bionicle, or there are just the LEGO guys around, he stays on the ground so he's not unnecessarily towering above them. Plus, saying "*floats slowly backward out of room*" just hasn't got the same punch.

Ah, that makes some sense. I'd find it a bit odd to see a walking coon, though...

No, I haven't decided on that yet. I know the Boss's name, and actually the Dark One's as well. It popped into my head at McDonald's. No, really. I almost thought of a name for the camel in this chapter, but the one I thought of was too close to that of another name I'm planning to use. I have to admit, "the camel is displeased" is quite possibly my favorite line from this chapter. That or the bit about the electric shocks. That was just a Crowning Moment of Awesome for my imagination.

They should make an award for that, like the Key to Nongu thing.

The thing is, none of the Boss's big schemes ever come to fruition. But I do feel sorry for him, so I gave him a small victory. I think he's earned it.

So, next time in MLWTB: A new character joins the household! But it's not at all who you'd expect. And... it's a girl? Yes, readers, we come one step closer to gender balance (really, LEGO should've released more female Bionicles) in the next chapter!

(no comment)

Of course I had to play the guy who gets his head turned into a donkey's, though. I've got a bit of a reputation as a funny guy even in the real world, and as I've said before, I just can't take anything completely seriously. So the part fits me perfectly, of course.

Reminds me of when I played Jive Monkey, former West Camp Dir. WOOT!

Thanks! But actually, both the breathing and eating explanations are inspired by other sources. How they breathe comes from an episode of Fairly Odd Parents when Timmy wishes Cosmo and Wanda could both be human so they can masquerade as his parents. They nearly choke before they figure out they have to breathe "all the time".

And eating was inspired a bit by book series Animorphs, where there's a race of robots that use holograms to disguise themselves as humans, but get around eating by converting food into energy they can use (which makes the disguise even better, as nobody would suspect a robot of eating a burger).

...

Oddly enough, the idea for this character popped into my head outside Wal-Mart. Supermarkets and fast food restaurants are where I do my best thinking, apparently.

Anyway, in the meantime, I'm going to play some more Final Fantasy Tactics A2. Have to get all those clan privileges, and then I'm going to try to recruit one more clan member (I'm hoping to make a Gria Geomancer with some levels as a Raptor for magic power...)

VAON! ATTACK!

[Togariku]

Ask and ye shall receive, as they say.


Trial By Fireworks OR Who Ordered A Few Hundred Tahtorak?

by Alaki

Narrator: Yes, it’s that special day that all Americans celebrate. It’s July Fourth, also known as Independence Day! Everyone was excited to be gearing up for the event. Alaki, Vaon, Hresvielger, and MGFM were experimenting with new kinds of explosive materials in an attempt to make their own fireworks, and Gaporii and Lupetric were spending their time building a launching grid. Erctai was checking the surrounding area for a good spot to launch, while Lehu checked the time and areas for existing displays. Aryan and BG reviewed safety procedures, and Angela and Transform helped out whenever a human hand was needed.
Vaon: Hey, what if we put some nitroglycerin in here?
Hresvielger: I don’t think that would be a good idea.
Alaki: That would be making a bomb instead of fireworks. I mean-
MGFM: Lighty-lighty!
SFX: BOOM!

(Several bandages, Recovers, and Force Heals later)

Narrator: You know, MGFM really shouldn’t be put near explosives.
Alaki: (muffled by the bandages) Hey, at least we got everything finished.
Serasha: Yeah, but you guys should still be more careful.
Vaon: (muffled by the bandages) But MGFM did it on purpose! I mean, look at him! He’s burning his way out of the bandages!
Erctai: Just allow me.
SFX: SCREECH! SCREECH! SCREECH!
Narrator: Although Erctai had limited power control, due to the fact that he had so many elements, he could still focus a sonic blast mainly at MGFM. He was instantly knocked unconscious, while everyone else just heard a fire-alarm-like noise.
Erctai: What? When I did that sort of thing before, it only affected the target!
Lehu: Then why did we just hear it? In fact, you should probably stop now. The noise is getting annoying.
SFX: SCREECH! SCREECH! SCREECH!
Erctai: Huh? I’m not doing that.
Gaporii: Wait, you’re not? Then-
Hresvielger: (muffled by the bandages, but wide-eyed nevertheless) Mitchray’s communicator!

(Two minutes later, at the labunker communications station)

Narrator: The group, now fully healed, had gotten a message from the newly appointed Head of MoCs, Mitchray. The old friend apparently was in a huge mound of trouble to use the emergency transmission, and his face on the computer screen certainly seemed to back this up.
Mitchray: I don’t have a lot of time, so let me make this brief. The Boss had used Tahtorak in the past as mounts for certain members of our army, as some of you know. During his most recent defeat, the energy cages containing them were accidentally negated when his power pylons were destroyed by your friend’s Makuta’s sonic screwdriver. We didn’t have much trouble containing for the past few seasons, but for some reason they’ve gotten a lot stronger since a few days ago. About a hundred are headed your way. I’m sending you a printout of a battle plan that Ace, Wair, and I made. Use it if it works for the situation.
Narrator: Alaki walked over to a terminal nearby the screen, and took out a piece of paper being ejected from a slot in the controls. He took a good look, nodded, and handed it over to Serasha to relay the commands.
Serasha: (while reading) Okay. This seems really complex, but I think we can do it. Here’s the plan…

(An hour later, at a clearing in the nearby forest…)

Narrator: The area was cool, shaded, and tranquil, the perfect place to meditate. It was completely undisturbed and without the slightest sound… And then came the Tahtorak swarm.
SFX: rrrruuuUUUUMMMBLE!
Lead Tahtorak: *HUGE roar*
Narrator: The huge group of green beasts tore through the trees, breaking down anything in their way. Their set form may be somewhat small, but they retained all of their storyline strength. The group entered the clearing…
Serasha: NOW!
Narrator: Lehu and Serasha popped out of hiding, the latter having sampled the abilities of the former, while Transform raced in from the front. The three sent out a wave of temporal energy which encompassed the entire group of the Rahi, where seconds became minutes and minutes became hours. Then Lupetric and Bionicle Guru moved in.
Lupetric: (insanely) Zabimaru Ramses Tornami! Mehahaha!
BG: Oh, we just HAD to hype him up…
Narrator: Lupetric was moving fast enough to be able to move at normal speed even when inside the time sphere. BG simply used his mask and adapted to the time so he could move at the same speed as Lupetric. The two forced their way-
BG: Did someone say Force?
Narrator: Shut up! Anyways, the two managed to enter the time sphere, quickly cutting their way through the Tahtorak herd. However, due to being outsized and outnumbered, it was clear that they would only be able to hold their ground for about a minute or two in normal time.

(Three minutes later)

Narrator: Okay, so I was one minute off. So what? The two are still in difficulties. Lupetric was starting to lose the benefits of his rush, and BG had started to tire. Serasha, Lehu, and Transform were already in bad shape due to prolonged usage of their time control. Luckily, it was at that moment that a Dimensional Portal opened up nearby Lupetric and BG, and each managed to escape through to the arena, where Erctai was waiting. Exhausted, Serasha’s group let go of their time control before reality was torn asunder.
Transform: Asunder?
Narrator: What, you’ve got a problem with my dialect?
Transform: Quite frankly, yes.
Lehu: Hey, she can’t help it if she’s a windbag!
Narrator: …I’ll remember this after the holiday. Anyways, the Tahtorak, freed of their containment, resumed their charge, but stopped cold when they saw what was approaching. Alaki, the air around him shimmering with power, entered the field. The others had been stalling for time, waiting for him to use Calm Mind the most he possibly could, and their patience paid off. The MoC raised his hand, and, calling upon his mask and Psi abilities to further augment his power, unleashed a devastating Psycho Boost that managed to somehow send all of the Tahtorak flying, instead of just one.
Alaki: (singing) I’ve been done seen about everything when I see a Tahtorak fly…
Narrator: The entire herd soared several feet, all of them at once passing over the spot where Vaon was stationed. He raised his hands, unleashing a devastating blast that knocked the Tahtorak even further into the air, where they were fair game for the final stage of the plan.
Vaon: (calling out) Now’s our chance! Blow them out of the sky!
Aryan: (calling from back at the house) Got it! Ignite the works!
Narrator: The team had made an extra set of fireworks to use, and now they came into play. Gaporii set the launching mechanisms up, and Hresvielger, MGFM, and Aryan set the rockets off. When the rockets finally finished detonating upon contact with the Tahtorak, the group fell to the ground in pieces, ready to be shipped back to the Tower.
Alaki: Well, that was fun. *falls to the ground, exhausted*
Aryan: *nods* Pop your hunger.
MGFM: Whoo-hoo! The Shiba Clan ROCKS!
SFX: WHACK!

(That night, back at the house…)

Narrator: The fireworks that night were amazing, with the lights dazzling everybody. Things just got even more fun when Alaki detonated an Egg Bomb, and soon everyone started to join in on the fun. It was definitely a Fourth of July to remember…

Chapter End


And here's the next one as well...


Facing Yourself- Part One OR Stop Stealing My Nova Blasts, Or I’ll Hit You With A Nova Blast

by Alaki

Narrator: It was finally the last day of summer school, and everyone was eagerly anticipating the arrival of Alaki, Serasha, and Transform. They had even started waiting at six in the morning, which just so happened to be before they left. Now, it was 11:38, and the three finally got off the bus, walked down the sidewalk, opened the door, accidentally reverted to MoC form, and collapsed on the floor in a heap. Transform, who was on the bottom, was mercifully granted an instant trip into unconsciousness. The other two were still spouting gibberish from their Computer Programming class in both C++ and Java.
Alaki: cout<<”Ow, my aching everything…”<<endl;
Serasha: System.out.println(“Yours and mine…”);
Gaporii: Um, what?
Vaon: Just allow me.
SFX: WHACK-WHACK-WHACK!

(A few minutes later, in the living room…)

Alaki: *rubbing head* Well, that helped, but…
Serasha: *burying head in pillow* Too… Much… Pain…
Transform: *lying on the floor* Why did you hit ME? I wasn’t even conscious!
Vaon: Well, it woke you up, didn’t it?
Narrator: This banter between the injured and the injurer carried on like this for several more minutes. It only stopped when Serasha’s mother came in, holding a phone.
Serasha’s mom: Serasha! It’s for you! Is it someone you know? Er… What happened?
Serasha: Please, speak quietly. And put it on speakerphone, too.
SFX: BEEP!
Speakerphone: I assume this is Serasha?
Serasha: I don’t recognize your voice. Who are you?
Speakerphone: I am called the Gatekeeper, because the Boss created me to have powers similar to a Gate Guardian. I wish to battle with you, one on one, a fair fight, NO OUTSIDE INTERFERENCE. Got it?
Serasha: The Boss- ! Where are you, anyways?
Speakerphone: Look outside your window.
Narrator: There was an audible “whip” as everyone turned simultaneously towards the far window. Standing on the pane was a silver-and-dark-grey MoC, with an Av-Matoran core body and head. His main two arms held tools similar to the spearheads of Takanuva’s staff of light, and from his back sprouted four extra, spine-tipped arms. Alaki gulped and curled into the fetal position.
Lehu: Dude, what’s wrong? That isn’t like you.
Alaki: Eight legs… Hate spiders…
Aryan: I’m glad he wasn’t around during the Battle of the Visorak…
Gatekeeper: So, Serasha, do you accept?
Serasha: Well, it looks like I have no choice in the matter… Ah, well, I need the training, anyways.
Gatekeeper: Then it’s settled. Get one hour to heal up, then come meet me in another hour in the ruins of the citadel where you first encountered Lehu’s group.
Serasha: It’s settled, then. Fine. I’ll come…

(Two hours later, in the ruins of the chamber where the Boss fought Tyvalho Nui, Avairos Nui, and Togariku…)

Serasha: Okay, I’m here. Should we start?
Gatekeeper: Yes.
Narrator: Serasha had taken the appropriate time to rest and arrive at the location specified. Now she walked into the familiar room where she had unleashed the Three Virtues Blast with her friends, and noticed the six cylinders in the room, all of which had been opened. She had heard of the Dark Matoran, Drexan, and the three rip-offs of the mascot legendary Pokemon of Ruby, Sapphire, and Emerald. Apparently, Gatekeeper had been the last of the six to be released, and was standing on the sixth container. The entire room had been cleared of rubble, and a makeshift arena had been created. Serasha already had out her Aerial Blades, which she had combined with her regular swords, and had absorbed all the powers she could from her fellow fighters.
Gatekeeper: Now, ladies first.
Serasha: Well, he’s courteous. ICE!
Narrator: What happened next was very odd. A stream of ice shot out from Serasha’s hand, but it stopped halfway to its target. There was no sign of a mask or a force field being used, or anything else to block it. However, when the beam was intercepted, it acted as if it was countered with another ice beam.
Serasha: What the… Okay, was that the room?
Gatekeeper: No. You could say that I did it.
Serasha: But- How- Never mind. This time, I should try something like… Ah! FIRE!
Narrator: Once again, the blast was intercepted as if by an invisible counter. All the other elemental abilities were rendered ineffective in the same way, as were physical attacks. However, any mind-based attacks simply were negated by a slashing of one of his spiny arms, and he actually had to dodge when Serasha shot Aerial Blade bursts at him. By this time, Serasha was exhausted, and slumped over on the wall.
Gatekeeper: I knew this would be the ultimate counter-ability. Now, it’s my turn.
Narrator: Moving as quick as Lupetric (not hyped up, mind you- no one but a hyped up Nuvvy could beat that), Gatekeeper rushed up and delivered a single slash to Serasha’s torso, sending her flying through several walls and out of the fortress, unconscious. Gatekeeper had won…

Chapter End

THANK you. BTW, there's an error in the one with the Tahtorak: It's Calm Mind, not Cosmic Power.

Noted and fixed.

Explain the first paragraph, but NOT the other two.

Well... how to put this tactfully... it's getting a little repetitive that you keep on whacking fictional characters. I mean, they're characters in a comedy, of course they're going to act silly. And so do I, it's my job here. Gali whacks them 'cause that's her job (and Vaon's) but do it too often and the joke goes stale. Like the "where did you come from? (insert various wacky answer)" one. I mean, if you didn't like it, there are easier ways to say so (or just skip quoting that part, y'know?). And Eragon and the Twilight characters don't realize they're acting dumb, in fact some of them think quite highly of themselves. And they're not in comedies. They deserve blows to the head far more.

So do their authors, in my opinion, but that's another thing.

They should make an award for that, like the Key to Nongu thing.

They could, I guess. Something Vezon-related would make sense for the Comedies forum...

Good job on the chapters Alaki, I liked them. But Have to ask one question. You said before you replied that you would try to keep the size of your quote number down, yet you still did this.

The thing is, none of the Boss's big schemes ever come to fruition. But I do feel sorry for him, so I gave him a small victory. I think he's earned it.

So, next time in MLWTB: A new character joins the household! But it's not at all who you'd expect. And... it's a girl? Yes, readers, we come one step closer to gender balance (really, LEGO should've released more female Bionicles) in the next chapter!

(no comment)

Thanks! But actually, both the breathing and eating explanations are inspired by other sources. How they breathe comes from an episode of Fairly Odd Parents when Timmy wishes Cosmo and Wanda could both be human so they can masquerade as his parents. They nearly choke before they figure out they have to breathe "all the time".

And eating was inspired a bit by book series Animorphs, where there's a race of robots that use holograms to disguise themselves as humans, but get around eating by converting food into energy they can use (which makes the disguise even better, as nobody would suspect a robot of eating a burger).

...

I just don't see the point. But that's just a thought. Once again, great chapters!