Who Ya Gonna Call? Toast Busters!, Steak Boy is at it again! Options

[Ynot]

When da nxt chappie comin out?
been more than, like three weeks
usually you have it up after two

[Fikou-Man]

"Not the exact same technology, no," Satogo replied. "Ultimately, I decided to re-conceive some of it -- I -- I never liked the way board looked." Satogo paused for a moment. "And then it occurred to me," he continued. "Who needs it?" With that, Satogo grabbed the board underneath the Ga-Matoran and tossed it aside. Incredibly, the Ga-Matoran still hovered in mid-air, powered by the special shoes she was wearing. "Behold!" said Satogo. "The all-new Sky-Walker Shoes! Exclusively from TechnoDude Incorporated!"

Who doesn't like a board? Unless he has issues with bullies sticking bubblegum on the wheels and stuff, but otherwise boards are cool. Better than walking with your date and suddenly flying into the cieling.

DudeNuva stepped forward and waved his arm above the Matoran, just to be sure she wasn't held up by invisible cables.

Ah, the good ol' days when Doughboy and me used to do that.

"BLECK!!!" he said, spitting out the Mountain Dew. "That tastes nasty! I'm going to get a new glass."

Next time, warn him that Ga-Matoran have salty feet. Hm, maybe they could line the shoes with a cherry flavor. It would make eating shoes 7x better!

Rigano got behind the recliner and began massaging Satogo's shoulders, which is no easy feat given the armor they were in.

"Oh yeah, that feels good!" Satogo said.

Rigano continued massaging. "You like me, don't you?" she asked softly.

"Wh-what makes you think that?" Satogo stuttered. He could feel his cheeks start to blush.

"I don't know," said Rigano. "But I know I like you."

Satogo tipped his head back so that he could gaze into the Matoran's eyes. "You're the most beautiful Matoran I've ever seen," he told her.

Woah, it's getting hot in here. Oh wait...ah crud, I just sat on Doughboy's spaghetti. He's not gonna take this sweetly.

Satogo lay unconscious reclined in a chair inside a dimly lit room. It very much resembled one you might find at a dentist's office. A stand was nearby holding two strange U-shaped devices. One just above the top of his mask and another just around his forehead. An eerie ultra-violet light was cast onto Satogo's mask from the devices. At a desk nearby sat a black Toa, punching away at some keys on a laptop. The Toa was slightly taller than average and had tattered wings coming from his back. DudeNuva stood nearby watching as the Toa operated the devices from the laptop. The Toa was scanning Satogo's memory, going back in time until he found the point where Satogo entered the building one month ago.

Nothing is personal, these days. Wouldn't catch me getting my memory scanned by some weird Toa dude. Too many secrets.

"For the love of Karzahni!" the Toa scolded. He picked his laptop off the floor and set it back on the desk. "This is dangerous stuff enough as it is!" He stared intently at the meter showing the temperature of Satogo's brain. The reading was jumping about rapidly between 42.6 and 42.9 Celsius. "If this Matoran's brain goes one C above 43.0, he'll have all the life left of your average steamed asparagus!"

I don't think the Muakas will mind.

"How ya doing, big guy?" DudeNuva asked. "Okay?"

Big guy? Is that a side effect?

DudeNuva grabbed the Matoran to keep him from falling. "Whoa! Take it easy there! Take it slowly!" He handed the Matoran a bottle of water.

Make sure it's not another shoe.

Rigano rolled her eyes and handed Satogo a stone tablet about the size of a check. On it was carved his payment. Satogo took it and looked at the line which detailed how much he was to be payed. Almost two-hundred thousand dollars! Not bad! he thought to himself.

They didn't tell him how much that's worth in widgets.

DudeNuva grinned. "All you've got to do is just keep doing what you do best! C'mon, I'll give you the low-down on the way out. Let's go celebrate at some ridiculously expensive restaurant!"

Satogo held up his paytablet. "It's on me!"

Yet he said nothing about good food.

[Tavakai]

This is the best comedy I have ever seen. I've known I would have to read it sometime, since there are probably (or will be) references to it in TNToran Revolution, Blade Titan's comics, and That's Messed Up: The Series. I'm not going to take the time to pick a chapter and quote through it, but I'll say a few things.

The part with the light purple rahkshi: If Gerlicky looked at the Bionicle encyclopedia (or Rahkshi Identifying for Dummies who Don't have the Bionicle Encyclopedia and wouldn't know how to use it if they did), he'd see that the purple armor would give away the mind reading thing.

And ~Toa Lessovik~ changed his name again. I wonder if he had more chocolate? I'd better go ask Blade Titan...

All in all, I'd prefer Toast Busters to Ghost Busters. But I'm sure Steak Boy would prefer roast mustard...

This post has been edited by VakamaTK: Jun 27 2008, 02:08 PM

[Satogo: Toa of S...]

Sync as in Ford vehicle commercials. And, Satogo, who said anything about a last episode?

Uh, you. First sentence of the first chapter intro, bub. Read it and weep.

Chapter 3



DudeNuva was walking down a long, dimly lit hallway flanked by Rigano and two board directors. A month had passed and Satogo was finally ready to unveil what he'd been working on the past four weeks. He swiped his security card and the first set of doors slid open. On the other side Satogo already stood waiting for them in the second doorway.

"You're late," Satogo said good-naturedly.

"A Toa of Mist is never late," DudeNuva corrected. "He always arrives precisely when he intends to."

OOOhhhhhh.....

Satogo chuckled. He led the way into his lab, saying, "Come on, guys! Let's make me rich today!"

In the center of the lab were a female Av-Matoran and a Ga-Matoran. Both were hovering above the ground on hoverboards. While the Av-Matoran's looked exactly like the original from Xadrom Space-Age Products, the one the Ga-Matoran was using looked ever-so-slightly different. Satogo circled around behind the Matoran and stood between them.

"So, gentlemen," said Satogo. "What do you think?"

DudeNuva and the board directors looked back and forth from one hoverboard to the other. After a moment of observing, one of the directors asked hesitantly, "This is the exact same technology?"

"Not the exact same technology, no," Satogo replied. "Ultimately, I decided to re-conceive some of it -- I -- I never liked the way board looked." Satogo paused for a moment. "And then it occurred to me," he continued. "Who needs it?" With that, Satogo grabbed the board underneath the Ga-Matoran and tossed it aside. Incredibly, the Ga-Matoran still hovered in mid-air, powered by the special shoes she was wearing. "Behold!" said Satogo. "The all-new Sky-Walker Shoes! Exclusively from TechnoDude Incorporated!"

Hooray for Star Wars!

DudeNuva stepped forward and waved his arm above the Matoran, just to be sure she wasn't held up by invisible cables. "This is amazing!" he said. He turned to the board directors. "Launch this now! Xadrom is not gonna last!"

Okey Dokey! *catapults shoes right into the office of a Xadrom C.E.O.* Whoops.

The two directors walked out of the room, already making preparations over their cellphones. DudeNuva and the two Matoran models followed them out. Satogo picked up one of the shoes and turned it over in his hands. Already he was dreaming of how much richer he was about to become.

"Congratulations," said Rigano. She came strolling up holding to glasses and a bottle of Mountain Dew. She set them down on the nearby table next to the other shoe.

"Thank you," said Satogo. He picked up the Mountain Dew and began pouring some into the glasses.

"You understand, Satogo," Rigano said. "You've just done in a month what we've been trying to do for several years."

"Sometimes it's just easier if you work backwards," Satogo said. He had been having so much trouble keeping his eyes off of the Matoran of Electricity that he didn't realize he was now pouring Mountain Dew into the shoe he held. When he finished, he held the shoe out. "Cheers!"

Rigano picked up the glass and tried to clink it against the shoe, but it wound up as more of a pathetic thump. She watched as Satogo took a big gulp of Dew from the shoe. Suddenly, his eyes bulged.

"BLECK!!!" he said, spitting out the Mountain Dew. "That tastes nasty! I'm going to get a new glass." As he went to find a new glass, he slipped on the puddle of Mountain Dew and landed right on his back. "Owwww...." he moaned.

You know, it just doesn't taste the same that way.

"Here, let me help you," Rigano said. She helped Satogo into a nearby recliner. "Are you all right?"

"I'll be fine," Satogo said.

Rigano got behind the recliner and began massaging Satogo's shoulders, which is no easy feat given the armor they were in.

"Oh yeah, that feels good!" Satogo said.

Rigano continued massaging. "You like me, don't you?" she asked softly.

"Wh-what makes you think that?" Satogo stuttered. He could feel his cheeks start to blush.

"I don't know," said Rigano. "But I know I like you."

Satogo tipped his head back so that he could gaze into the Matoran's eyes. "You're the most beautiful Matoran I've ever seen," he told her.

To quote a certain deodorant commercial: Bow Chicka Mow Wow. But on the other hand, that's kind of an interesting relationship they've (we've?) got. Why? Because it's the only serious one Satogo's (I've?) had so far.

Rigano stopped her massaging. "You won't remember me. Will you, darling?"

A frown crossed Satogo's face and he hung his head in shame. "No."

Rigano leaned in closer. "That's too bad," she whispered.

Alas. Parting is such sweet sorrow. *sobs quietly*

Satogo jumped up from his seat. "Hey, I've got an idea! Let's play Monopoly!"

"Sounds like fun," Rigano giggled.

Monopoly makes everything better!

One Hour Later


Satogo lay unconscious reclined in a chair inside a dimly lit room. It very much resembled one you might find at a dentist's office. A stand was nearby holding two strange U-shaped devices. One just above the top of his mask and another just around his forehead. An eerie ultra-violet light was cast onto Satogo's mask from the devices. At a desk nearby sat a black Toa, punching away at some keys on a laptop. The Toa was slightly taller than average and had tattered wings coming from his back. DudeNuva stood nearby watching as the Toa operated the devices from the laptop. The Toa was scanning Satogo's memory, going back in time until he found the point where Satogo entered the building one month ago.

"Marker reached," said the Toa. "I'll now began erasing his memory from the marker, forward to the present." The Toa continued punching keys on the laptop. Slowly and carefully, he began wiping the brain cells that held Satogo's memory of the last month.

Is nothing sacred/personal anymore?

One of the board directors tried to lean in for a closer look at the monitor and ended up knocking the laptop off the desk. The Toa watched horrified as the computer hit the floor and caused the still unconscious form of Satogo to twitch violently. Satogo's eyelids began squeezing together really hard and his whole body tensed from the strain on his brain.

Why is it always one of those nimrods that's on the Board?

Satogo strained his eyes until he finally found DudeNuva. "Satogo, what's the last date you remember?"

Satogo thought hard. "Um . . . that Matoran with the sparkly mask . . . what's her name?"

"No, no, no," said DudeNuva. "The last day you can remember! What was the last day?"

Well, he asked.

"Uh huh. Satogo, what's the last thing you remember?"

Satogo thought even harder. "Uhhhhh . . . . . . the Steelers made the Super Bowl!"

"Okay, okay," said DudeNuva. "Let's get the legal out of the way, shall we?" At that moment, Rigano walked up to stand next to DudeNuva.

Darn, thought Satogo. If they were going to have a Matoran of Electricity for the lawyer, why couldn't they at least get one that's good-looking?

The irony of this is just sickening.

Rigano rolled her eyes and handed Satogo a stone tablet about the size of a check. On it was carved his payment. Satogo took it and looked at the line which detailed how much he was to be payed. Almost two-hundred thousand dollars! Not bad! he thought to himself.

Yeah-yuh! Cash MONAY!!

"I've just got one question," Satogo said. "Will it make me lots more money?

That's what it's all about!

Hold up a sec... is the mind-wiping Toa Xaeraz/Zephyr??

This post has been edited by Satogo: Toa of Steelers: Jun 28 2008, 09:10 AM

[Doctor Xaeraz P....]

@Satogo: Dude, remember me from Takuma Nuva's comics? Why do you think the mind-wiper toa is me?

[Satogo: Toa of S...]

@Satogo: Dude, remember me from Takuma Nuva's comics? Why do you think the mind-wiper toa is me?

Perhaps because I recall seeing you with tattered wings in an avatar of yours. But maybe it's just me.

[Gerlicky]

Uh, Satogo, can I correct you? Not about Xaeraz (I saw that avvie too, but he was purple). I mean, that wasn't the last episode, that was the last chapter of the previous episode.

Anyways, in case you've been wondering where I've went (yeah right), I've been following the episode the whole time, just not posting reviews because I'd have to go somewhere important every time I do try to review. Anyway, good job on this comedy, Takuma. It's looking great.

[Tavakai]

I probably would have noticed this long ago, but I hang out around the Artwork II and III forums more often than the comedies forum.

Again, DudeNuva walked down that gloriously familiar hallway. He was excited about this new project and the idea of saving money on lawyers. As he made that walk with his board directors he could hear his last conversation with Satogo ringing through his mind again.

Satogo: So, what's the new job?

DudeNuva: Well, as I mentioned before, we're going in a whole new direction. No more ripping-off other companies. We're doing this one legally.

DudeNuva chuckled at himself. He often enjoyed thinking in script.

DudeNuva: *takes a sip of water* People are lonely, Satogo. They want companions. *takes out LEGO Mindstorms NXT robot* Satogo, do you know what this is?

Satogo: Well, judging by what was said in between those asterisks just a second ago, I'd guess it's a LEGO Mindstorms NXT robot.

DudeNuva: That's right. People everywhere are buying these things because they make good companions. They do what you say, like what you want them to like, and they won't steal your girlfriends. They're selling like crazy. We need to get in the market with our own mechanical companions, but better! We need to outsell the LEGO company!

Satogo: But, wouldn't that make us hypocrites?

DudeNuva: Yes, but we'd be rich hypocrites.

Satogo: True. So let me get this straight. You want me to build the ultimate artificial friend?

DudeNuva: Exactly. Think you can do it?

Satogo: *finishes off cheesecake* Let's make me rich! . . . . . again!

DudeNuva led his board directors through the doors. He was only moments away from finding an amazing product that will most assuredly outsell LEGO's Mindstorms NXTs.

"Greetings!" Satogo said. "Nice to see you all again! Wait until you see what I've built!"

"Wait nothing, Satogo!" DudeNuva said excitedly. "Let's see it!"

Satogo reached under the table for something. "Preeeeeeeesenting..."

DudeNuva's eyes widened in anticipation as he waited for Satogo to reveal his product.

Satogo pulled out his invention and placed it on the counter. "TA-DAAAA!! Archibald the Talking Toaster!!!"

DudeNuva's eyes bulged, nearly falling from their sockets. "Satogo! What in the name of Mata Nui is this?!"

Somehow Satogo didn't remember making him. But that's a side affect of prequels. Luke's aunt and uncle didn't remember that C-3P0 used to live on their farm back in Episode II when they bought him in Episode IV.

"Great, huh?" Satogo said. "Watch this!" Satogo reached over and turned on the toaster.

"Happy Birthday!" said the toaster.

"You're joking me, right?" DudeNuva said.

"Well, yes," said the toaster. "Actually it's more of a reference than a joke but that's close enou--"

"Not you! I meant Satogo!"

"Sheesh! Talk about your stereotypical crabby boss!" the toaster snarled.

"Don't you just love it?!" Satogo said excitedly.

"I hate it," DudeNuva said. "Satogo, what happened? Where did I go wrong? I give you a month and all you have to show for it is--is . . . this?"

A machine that makes toast. It's called a toaster.

Confusion crossed Satogo's mask. "You mean, you don't like it?"

"Yes, I don't," said DudeNuva. "Very much so."


Three Hours Later


Satogo walked slowly down the street with his toaster, Archibald. Satogo was crushed. Here he was, the best employee DudeNuva ever had, and he'd let the Toa of Mist down. That and he was just waiting for some comedy reviewer to crack a joke about his being "crushed".

"That's it for me," Satogo said. "I'm retiring. Seems I can't even do a simple job. And this one was legal even!" He kicked at a tin can which always seems to appear in the street right at such points in movies and stories for no explainable reason whatsoever. "Maybe that's just it. I can't build something from scratch. I have to take somebody else's idea and work off of that. I don't have any real skill." As the two walked along, they came to a person sitting on the sidewalk sulking in front of a beauty parlor. "Hey, what's the matter there?"

"Everything," said the stranger. "I haven't a friend in the world." He looked up to see who was talking to him. "Who are you?"

"The name's Satogo," the Onu-Matoran replied. "Ex-Expert Engineer of TechnoDude Incorporated."

"Reginald," said the stranger. "My name is Reginald. Reginald the friendless."

z0mG!!!!1!!!!!! [/noobiness]

"What do you mean?" asked Satogo.

"Nobody will be my friend," Reginald explained. "Even my girlfriend left me when she found out that her feet were bigger than mine."

Satogo looked over to Archibald who was still standing on his left. Bending over, he picked up the toaster and handed him to Reginald. "Here, Reginald. Now you have a friend."

"Is this really for me?!" Reginald said, brightening up a little. "Gee, thanks, Satogo! How can I ever thank you?"

"Well, you could help me find a place to stay," Satogo said. "Know of any good-sized cardboard boxes around here?"

Reginald stood up. "Look, pal. If you can't even afford a place to stay, you can spend the night over at my house until you do."

"Oh, it's not that," Satogo said. "I've got lots of money. I just need a great, big cardboard box to put it all in. I don't trust banks. I hear they give too much interest to what's in your account."

"Uh, most people want to gain interest, Satogo," Reginald pointed out.

"Not me," said Satogo. "I need to lay low for a while. Avoid interest."

I=Prt [/math flashback]

"Uh, riiiiiight... So, anyways, I think we got some decent sized boxes in the back of the beauty parlor. Let's go." With that, Reginald led Satogo into the salon while clutching tightly to his new best friend: Archibald the Toaster.

Just get the same type of box that the 2003 Matoran came in. He'll fit just fine.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Best ending ever.

---
Takuma Nuva

I don't know why I'm quoting that.

And that was a great chapter! It explained a lot!

This post has been edited by VakamaTK: Jul 14 2008, 02:11 PM