 The Bz-metru Story Review, Review it here. |
  |
 Aug 22 2008, 09:28 PM
Post
#1
|
|
 Inhabitant  Group: New Members Posts: 12 Joined: 21-January 07 Member No.: 51357 
  |
That is awesome, better than rthe first. This is such a fasinating epic!
Great work! -------------------- ::I LOVE 2007::  |
 |
 
|
|
Aug 27 2008, 06:02 PM
Post
#2
|
|
  Defender of Mata Nui  Group: Premier Members Posts: 2143 Joined: 26-January 03 Member No.: 4694 
 |
Whoa. That was hardcore.
Your villains are pretty cool. If you can't find a good or neutral role for me, I'm not against being traitorous... -------------------- |
|
|
|
|
Aug 27 2008, 06:30 PM
Post
#3
|
|
|
Group: Posts: 0 Joined: -- Member No.: |
Whoa, who knew that Ninjo was such a cunning mastermind of deception? I'm loving this, Snoopy. Can I be a staffie too?
 (<~MX~>) |
|
|
|
|
Aug 30 2008, 09:35 PM
Post
#4
|
|
 Submerged! Group: New Members Posts: 1187 Joined: 21-January 03 Member No.: 4522
 |
Okay, I can't get the chapter up tonight. Tomorrow night, I promise.
-------------------- |
|
|
|
|
Aug 30 2008, 10:14 PM
Post
#5
|
|
|
Group: Posts: 0 Joined: -- Member No.: |
Great new chapters!
And,by any chance,may I be in the epic? |
|
|
|
|
Aug 30 2008, 10:20 PM
Post
#6
|
|
 Toa Group: New Members Posts: 149 Joined: 7-January 07 Member No.: 50510
 |
This is THE best epic I have ever read.hands down,no arguments.
I love the way you made the personalities of each character.So...deep and meaningful.Though,I could have done without BR getting the axe,but anyway...I have a few favorite quotes: QUOTE “How are you today, sir? Can I get you anything sir? How about-” said Six as he followed Rex inside. “Shut up, Six.” “Yes sir.” If BR tells you to shut up,then you shut up. QUOTE I've never seen cloud cover that thick, thought Six. Ah well. It's probably nothing. Turning his thoughts onto more pressing matters, such as how he would keep Omicron the FL from break dancing at the party, he walked on toward the Celebration Hall. Funny. QUOTE “Cut the fancy talk. Get to the point.” Also funny.“Might I remind you that even though we are on the same level at this moment, you still have to speak to me with respect. If you don’t I might just accidentally ban you.” Bfahome shuddered. He had seen someone be banned before. It was not a pretty sight. In one of these chapters,could you put me in?Like if there is a riot going on my character shouts something?Or,something like that?Only if you want to. The way you write this is just amazing.So the Big-D is evil,huh?Cool. ~Av out. --------------------  Bassists Unite! Be Heard! "And for those about to rock, we salute you." ~ AC/DC |
|
|
|
|
Aug 31 2008, 03:47 PM
Post
#7
|
|
 Scavenger Va Group: New Members Posts: 658 Joined: 20-November 06 Member No.: 47942
|
I've just read the latest chapters. EW seems cool.
 ~7 --------------------  I regret to inform you all, but my time here on BZP is done. I am leaving, most likely not to come back for a while. If you want to contact me, PM me. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." |
|
|
|
|
Aug 31 2008, 10:37 PM
Post
#8
|
|
|
Inhabitant Group: New Members Posts: 12 Joined: 21-January 07 Member No.: 51357
|
Yay, I'm in this chapter!
Even if I work for the news, at least I'm in it. Thanks. -------------------- ::I LOVE 2007:: |
|
|
|
|
Sep 1 2008, 08:31 AM
Post
#9
|
|
|
Group: Posts: 0 Joined: -- Member No.: |
Congratulations on writing an epic that I am actually willing to comment on!
The choice of characters is brilliant and unexpected, and the plot is....well, I can't describe it, it is so good. Keep up the good work! -Phovos the Raptor |
|
|
|
|
Sep 1 2008, 11:54 AM
Post
#10
|
|
 Toa of Light Rising  Group: Premier Outstanding BZP Citizens Posts: 6142 Joined: 29-July 03 Member No.: 12651
 |
QUOTE “There’s only one way I know,” said Dimensioneer, “We have kill Ninjo.” If you're going to continue the dialogue with a comma, then you shouldn't capitalize "we." My, so we've a bit of dastardly deception here. Six obviously didn't order that attack, so somebody else is responsible...Ninjo? Somehow I don't think so. Guess we'll see.
--------------------  |
|
|
|
|
Sep 1 2008, 01:07 PM
Post
#11
|
|
|
Defender of Mata Nui Group: Premier Members Posts: 2143 Joined: 26-January 03 Member No.: 4694
|
Cool, cool. Mystery, cool.
-------------------- |
|
|
|
|
Sep 1 2008, 01:29 PM
Post
#12
|
|
 Descending into Protodermis Group: New Members Posts: 1031 Joined: 23-December 05 Member No.: 37760 
|
QUOTE(Eagle-7 @ Aug 31 2008, 12:47 PM)  I've just read the latest chapters. EW seems cool. ~7 Of course I seem cool-- cuz that's what I am! At least, according to my false ego...  at me.~EW~ -------------------- [BZPRPG]-[BZPRPG Index]-[COT RPGs]-[COT RPG Index]-[NM Q&A]-[Proto Energy Topic]-[BZP Compendium] Nnyyyyy  aaaahh! |
|
|
|
|
Sep 1 2008, 04:28 PM
Post
#13
|
|
|
Group: Posts: 0 Joined: -- Member No.: |
Great new chapter snoop! As I said in my blog, I'm now advertising this in my sig.
Now, one quick mistake: QUOTE said Ninjo, setting the coffees on the table. He walked out of the room. It's just 'coffee' as that in itself is both plural and singular. Great job again! I look forward to read the next chapter [Oh, if something is good enough to go into my sig, it's good].  |
|
|
|
|
Sep 1 2008, 04:38 PM
Post
#14
|
|
|
Group: Posts: 0 Joined: -- Member No.: |
Cool. I just read the entire story in one day (I'm not sure if that's healthy or not), and I just have to say awesomeness! I have one question, though. How do I (or any other member that wants to) get to be in this amazing story?
This post has been edited by Xander004: Sep 1 2008, 04:39 PM |
|
|
|
|
Sep 1 2008, 09:02 PM
Post
#15
|
|
 Conqueror of the Swarm! Group: New Members Posts: 698 Joined: 6-March 05 Member No.: 30160 
 |
DEE DEE DUUUMMM!!!
Wow... who'd think that Dimensioner was the cause of Ninjo's disappearance? And that a the virus would actually be getting stronger? So many plot twists... I can't wait for more! ~ToT~ This post has been edited by ~Toa of Twilight!~™: Sep 1 2008, 09:03 PM -------------------- "You wake up in the morning, and your missing your curtains, carpet, and the water's boiling. Which one of those problems do you deal with first? None of them! The building's on fire!" -House "I think we can all look forward to the time when these three theories are given equal time in our science classrooms across the country, and eventually the world; One third time for Intelligent Design, one third time for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and one third time for logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence." -Bobby Henderson Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do. I'm half crazy all for the love of you. It won't be a stylish marriage, I can't afford a carriage. But you'd look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle built for two. Daisy Bell, Henry Dacre. |
|
|
|
|
Sep 2 2008, 10:33 AM
Post
#16
|
|
 Fluidic Master Defeated  Group: Premier Members Posts: 3535 Joined: 23-July 02 Member No.: 1581
|
Great chapter. The irony at the end of Chapter 9 was excellent!
-------------------- |
|
|
|
|
Sep 3 2008, 08:13 PM
Post
#17
|
|
|
Submerged! Group: New Members Posts: 1187 Joined: 21-January 03 Member No.: 4522
|
Sorry for the lack of chapter recently, but don't worry, hopefully it'll be up tomorrow afternoon EST.
-------------------- |
|
|
|
|
Sep 3 2008, 09:06 PM
Post
#18
|
|
|
Group: Posts: 0 Joined: -- Member No.: |
Once again, NICE, that is all I can think of.
Sorry I can't think of much right now. |
|
|
|
|
Sep 5 2008, 12:10 AM
Post
#19
|
|
|
Descending into Protodermis Group: New Members Posts: 1031 Joined: 23-December 05 Member No.: 37760
|
Yay, I guess I'm a staffer now?
~EW~ -------------------- [BZPRPG]-[BZPRPG Index]-[COT RPGs]-[COT RPG Index]-[NM Q&A]-[Proto Energy Topic]-[BZP Compendium] Nnyyyyy aaaahh! |
|
|
|
|
Sep 5 2008, 05:50 AM
Post
#20
|
|
 Tohunga Group: New Members Posts: 58 Joined: 7-June 07 Member No.: 58315 
|
It was somewhat ironic when Six was cut off by a phone call. Great chapter, and yay for Toaraga! Not for EmperorWhenua. Not yet, I need to see what happens.
-TD --------------------  True love is not an action or a feeling, but a commitment. And romantic love between a man and an elf is the strongest. ----------------------- "Keep in mind that if the Union had, as a group, said, "No point in talking about the Confederacy anymore, it's never going to come back," it never WOULD have come back." --Abraham Lincoln, ca. 1865 |
|
|
|
|
Sep 5 2008, 05:55 AM
Post
#21
|
|
|
Submerged! Group: New Members Posts: 1187 Joined: 21-January 03 Member No.: 4522
|
Hey, that was the 100th post in this topic, Dovydas! That's more posts in a review topic than I've ever had in all my other topics combined.
-------------------- |
|
|
|
|
Sep 5 2008, 06:18 AM
Post
#22
|
|
|
Tohunga Group: New Members Posts: 58 Joined: 7-June 07 Member No.: 58315
|
It was?
One simple question here: can I get included in the story more than a single mention of me? For instance, I could help with some research or something. I'm pretty good with that sort of stuff. But it's not mandatory, after all, you're the writer. QUOTE “I, Black Six, as administrator of the nation of BZ-Metru, Forum Leader of all forums, and News Manager, I hereby demote Ni-” That's a mistake. Six said "I" twice, when he was supposed to say it once. -TD This post has been edited by Toa Dovydas: Sep 5 2008, 06:41 AM -------------------- True love is not an action or a feeling, but a commitment. And romantic love between a man and an elf is the strongest. ----------------------- "Keep in mind that if the Union had, as a group, said, "No point in talking about the Confederacy anymore, it's never going to come back," it never WOULD have come back." --Abraham Lincoln, ca. 1865 |
|
|
|
|
Sep 5 2008, 07:27 AM
Post
#23
|
|
|
Inhabitant Group: New Members Posts: 12 Joined: 21-January 07 Member No.: 51357
|
I love the new chapter.
I'm shaking in my seat to see what happens to ninjo... -------------------- ::I LOVE 2007:: |
|
|
|
|
Sep 5 2008, 09:40 AM
Post
#24
|
|
|
Group: Posts: 0 Joined: -- Member No.: |
AGAIN, I agree with -static-, there must be something wrong with Me.
|
|
|
|
|
Sep 5 2008, 01:32 PM
Post
#25
|
|
|
Descending into Protodermis Group: New Members Posts: 1031 Joined: 23-December 05 Member No.: 37760
|
QUOTE(Toa Dovydas @ Sep 5 2008, 02:50 AM) It was somewhat ironic when Six was cut off by a phone call. Great chapter, and yay for Toaraga! Not for EmperorWhenua. Not yet, I need to see what happens. -TD  No love for the Empie?~EW~ -------------------- [BZPRPG]-[BZPRPG Index]-[COT RPGs]-[COT RPG Index]-[NM Q&A]-[Proto Energy Topic]-[BZP Compendium] Nnyyyyy aaaahh! |
|
|
|
|
Sep 5 2008, 02:52 PM
Post
#26
|
|
|
Toa of Light Rising Group: Premier Outstanding BZP Citizens Posts: 6142 Joined: 29-July 03 Member No.: 12651
|
Hrm-hrm. I found it a bit silly how Black Six was interrupted right at the last moment. It wasn't realistic at all, so that took most of the plausibility out of this new turn of events.
-------------------- |
|
|
|
|
Sep 5 2008, 03:50 PM
Post
#27
|
|
|
Submerged! Group: New Members Posts: 1187 Joined: 21-January 03 Member No.: 4522
|
Well, whatever works.
-------------------- |
|
|
|
|
Sep 6 2008, 09:37 PM
Post
#28
|
|
|
Group: Posts: 0 Joined: -- Member No.: |
Wow this is a really good epic. although i dont have much to compare it to since this besides slizers on mata nui is the only one i will put the time into reading it. good job cant wait for the next chapter!
|
|
|
|
|
Sep 7 2008, 11:55 AM
Post
#29
|
|
 Battling Makuta! Group: New Members Posts: 543 Joined: 22-May 05 Member No.: 32109
|
Impressive. An amazing epic, definitely among the best that I've read. Nice. By the way, are you allowing cameos for posters? Because I co-author in this massive comedy and I think that the original author and I might like to be in this as Library Forum Assistants. Or at least me.
-------------------- All you have to do is let the waves take you...
|
|
|
|
|
Sep 7 2008, 01:50 PM
Post
#30
|
|
|
Descending into Protodermis Group: New Members Posts: 1031 Joined: 23-December 05 Member No.: 37760
|
QUOTE(Toa Dovydas @ Sep 6 2008, 08:22 PM) QUOTE(EmperorWhenua @ Sep 5 2008, 08:32 PM) QUOTE(Toa Dovydas @ Sep 5 2008, 02:50 AM) It was somewhat ironic when Six was cut off by a phone call. Great chapter, and yay for Toaraga! Not for EmperorWhenua. Not yet, I need to see what happens. -TD No love for the Empie?~EW~ No. You might just accidentally get killed soon. If you survive another day, then you'll get your "yay". Otherwise, they would be wasted on a corpse. -TD That's a bold statement, considering it came from a dead guard. ~EW~ -------------------- [BZPRPG]-[BZPRPG Index]-[COT RPGs]-[COT RPG Index]-[NM Q&A]-[Proto Energy Topic]-[BZP Compendium] Nnyyyyy aaaahh! |
|
|
|
|
Sep 7 2008, 04:24 PM
Post
#31
|
|
|
Submerged! Group: New Members Posts: 1187 Joined: 21-January 03 Member No.: 4522
|
Unfortunately, EW isn't going to die.
...yet. -------------------- |
|
|
|
|
Sep 7 2008, 07:15 PM
Post
#32
|
|
|
Group: Posts: 0 Joined: -- Member No.: |
QUOTE(Snoopy82 @ Sep 7 2008, 02:24 PM) Unfortunately, EW isn't going to die. ...yet. Aww jkjkSo, when's the next chapter gonna be up?
|
|
|
|
|
Sep 7 2008, 09:36 PM
Post
#33
|
|
|
Submerged! Group: New Members Posts: 1187 Joined: 21-January 03 Member No.: 4522
|
As soon as I find a good quote.
EDIT: aaaaand it's up. I felt the disclaimer was needed, because Ninjo says a few bad things about Six and I don't want anyone to think I'm trying to make a statement or something. This post has been edited by Snoopy82: Sep 7 2008, 09:42 PM -------------------- |
|
|
|
|
Sep 7 2008, 10:27 PM
Post
#34
|
|
|
Group: Posts: 0 Joined: -- Member No.: |
Awesome new chapter! This has gotten me very interested in this story-line!
I hope Ninjo turns back to the 'good side' though I wonder what'll happen to Six . . . you know what this means, right? New chapter quick!
|
|
|
|
|
Sep 8 2008, 12:33 AM
Post
#35
|
|
|
Conqueror of the Swarm! Group: New Members Posts: 698 Joined: 6-March 05 Member No.: 30160
|
...
... ... A-ma-zing. This is just great. I'm really sad that Ninjo actually left, but, it would be mega-freaky if, 2 years later, this actually happened.  The light side, Ninjo return must. That scar thing at the end kinda freaked me out, and the plot twists are both storyline feeding and plausible. You don't get that very often But some things weren't as plausible as the plot twists, strange as that might sound. I think it would take a deal more proof for Ninjo to win over almost everybody, but I guess its the best you could come up with in such a short span of time. And also, your making great time with the chapters, Snoop. I was glad when I read that Bones stayed with him, I always liked that guy with his head-exploding posts, and his brain-imploding posts. ~ToT~ -------------------- "You wake up in the morning, and your missing your curtains, carpet, and the water's boiling. Which one of those problems do you deal with first? None of them! The building's on fire!" -House "I think we can all look forward to the time when these three theories are given equal time in our science classrooms across the country, and eventually the world; One third time for Intelligent Design, one third time for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and one third time for logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence." -Bobby Henderson Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do. I'm half crazy all for the love of you. It won't be a stylish marriage, I can't afford a carriage. But you'd look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle built for two. Daisy Bell, Henry Dacre. |
|
|
|
|
Sep 9 2008, 04:33 PM
Post
#36
|
|
 Mask of Time Discovered  Group: Premier Outstanding BZP Citizens Posts: 4026 Joined: 17-January 03 Member No.: 4255
|
Very good, Snoopy. Very easy to read and follow (unless, of course, you aren't familiar with staff names, in which you'll soon be horribly lost.
) And very complex. This plan seems very intricate... you must've had this all worked out prior to writing it. I can't wait to see what Six and his followers will do not, after this big turn of events.LOL, SWAT Staff. That's good. 
--------------------  "Ahh, the cat's eaten it!" "Has he?" "She, sir." |
|
|
|
|
Sep 9 2008, 05:18 PM
Post
#37
|
|
|
Submerged! Group: New Members Posts: 1187 Joined: 21-January 03 Member No.: 4522
|
Actually, I'm making it up as I go along.
j/k. I have most of it planned out.
-------------------- |
|
|
|
|
Sep 9 2008, 08:16 PM
Post
#38
|
|
|
Battling Makuta! Group: New Members Posts: 543 Joined: 22-May 05 Member No.: 32109
|
Ninjo... You shall die in this. I swear it... Not for real, of course, but...
By the way, can you reply to me? -------------------- All you have to do is let the waves take you...
|
|
|
|
|
Sep 9 2008, 09:41 PM
Post
#39
|
|
|
Group: Posts: 0 Joined: -- Member No.: |
Nice new chappie!
I wish,even if it were POSSIBLE,I could be in the most epic of all epics,but,oh well. XD |
|
|
|
|
Sep 9 2008, 10:00 PM
Post
#40
|
|
 Toa Group: New Members Posts: 111 Joined: 23-November 06 Member No.: 48087
|
Wow, this is great. Lots of plot twists and things you think you know but you don't, or whatever. Didn't like the part near the beginning where Gata and Screenguy died (Gata helped me on VNOG and Screenguy traded me some rare pieces, coincidentally), but I suppose it adds to the epic. After all, you do call it a "horror epic" on the picture in the first post.
Is there any way I could be a staffie? A good staffie, as opposed to a bad staffie? Like, one who doesn't die and stays on Six's side ?-  
This post has been edited by Letagi: Sep 9 2008, 10:01 PM -------------------- |
|
|
|
|
1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:
| Lo-Fi Version | Time is now: 21st May 2013 - 01:19 AM |