War For Omnimata, Review for the Epic Options

[WeirdBionicleDud...]

Here I am, back again, after a while. I won't have much time in these next days, but I'll do the best I can.

Chapter 9 was cool and it had a lot of action. I hope Antati's alright. If he dies, does that mean you die and can't write the story?

Amnesia! That was unexpected! Rollin, rollin, rollin...keep that epic rolling!

P.S. Did you notice I changed my avatar?

This post has been edited by pohatufan678: Jul 13 2003, 09:51 AM

[Toa of the Stars]

If Antati dies, that doesn't make me dead. I might change my avatar, though.

Your new avatar is awesome!

[HauNuva]

Sorry I haven't been around much.

Excellent new chapters! The chase scene in the woods was great- I could imagine poor Pohatu stumbling around with a dragon after him. The mask of True Sight does seem to be useful!

And poor Kopaka, having amnesia. Yet you wrote this scene so well that he still seemed to be 'Kopaka,' just without his memories. You haven't reduced him to a mindless shell. Good work!

So...(slavering untidily)...when's the next chapter? I'd love it if you keep PMing me!

And by the way, I finished Void. You're in the dedication of the next story.

-

[Satterthwaite]

Is the next chapter almost ready? This is really getting serious.(In the story, I mean).

[Toa of the Stars]

New reader! I'm happy to see that you can't wait for the next chapter, but you, and all my other fans, will have to.

Reason: I'm vacationing in France right now. We rented two different houses in two different places. The first house didn't have internet acess, but the second house, the one I'm in right now, does. Unfortunately, acess is limited to 20 minutes a day, and the keyboards here are very different from the ones I'm used to, so I can't do much writing. Even this has taken a long time, because it is like I've regressed to hunt-and-peck, because the French keyboards doesn't look anything like my old keyboard.

Alright, to make a long story short, I cant post another for two more weeks.

[Satterthwaite]

I see your point. We all can wait a good two weeks. I hope your vacation gave you time to think of ideas, but, then again, you are(or were, because you might be back when you read this) on vacation, and should enjoy it. Hope you have a fun vacation.

[Toa of the Stars]

Thank you!

Vacation has definately been good for my writing, as it has provided two ideas for more plot twists. Most importantly, it helped me overcome a viscious case of writers block. I hope to be posting again in about a week!

[Toa of the Stars]

New chapter!

I just got back from vacation. Our plane ride home was very interesting, but that is another story.

Anyway, I have vowed to read and review all the stories of anybody who posts here. I am working through HauNuva's Exosphere trilogy right now. It's pretty long. If anybody wants me to review a particular story, just tell me, but I think, with the exception of Bolt toa of lightning's epic, I have read and reviewed them all.

Edit: HauNuva, if you are reading this, I want you to know that something is stopping me from PMing you. It might be because your folders are full, or it might be because you are accidentally (or purposefully, as the case may be ) blocking messages from me. Tell me if your folders are full or if I shouldn't PM you anymore, please. Thank you!

Okay, I'm done now.

This post has been edited by Toa of the Stars: Aug 17 2003, 09:21 AM

[WeirdBionicleDud...]

I'm back from vacation too. I was in Hawaii.
Wow! Cool chapter! So now Kopaka seems to be pretty important at the time. Will he have further importance?
Please make the next chapter about Pohatu and Antati.
And of course, keep on writing a great epic!

[Toa of the Stars]

For Pohatufan678: Your request for the next chapter is partially granted. It is going to have Pohatu in it. Antati, however... well, you'll find out soon enough! Hawaii is a really cool place, isn't it? What island were you on?

For Bolt toa of lightning: The letters on the sword say "Kopaka." The sword was intended for him. Of course I'll review your epic! The thing is, I haven't gotten around to reading it. I've only read your comedy. I hope I'll be able to read the epic soon, and I promise I'll read it sometime.

[WeirdBionicleDud...]

I was on Hawaii (Yes, that is an island) for 5 days and O'ahu for 3.
One of the best things on O'ahu was the Dole farm. They have pineapple ice cream. Mmm.
And about the Antati thing, I don't really care. I like Pohatu more. NOT THAT I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU!! PLEASE DON'T TAKE IT THAT WAY!!

[HauNuva]

Oh, come now, I would never block messages from you! No, my folders were just irresponsibly full. As it happens, I was on vacation in Cape Cod. Sorry. Anyway, that last chapter was really good- as usual, the voids make great villains, and the battle scenes were great! And both Chrunus and Kopaka have picked up some interesting new weapons.

I love how you're doing Kopaka's amnesia. The sudden flashes of memory are really well-depicted.

Anyway, this is still one of the best epics going! Keep up the great work!

-

P.S. Please keep PMing me, I love to talk!

[Toa of the Stars]

Glad to finally hear form you, HN! I missed you.

Bolt, I'm going into 9th grade. Sorry I haven't written much. You probably know why. I PROMISE there will be a new chapter tomorrow, unless the computer explodes, or I get run over by a steam roller, or something like that.

[Satterthwaite]

Great job on the new chapter! Will Hanri go with Pohatu, or will Pohatu go alone?

[Toa of the Stars]

I don't know yet. Hanri will probably come along. I have a chance to read your epic right now, so I will.

Edit: Can't read it all. I got about half of it finished. I have to read some more of Count of Monte Cristo. I will review it when I am done.

This post has been edited by Toa of the Stars: Aug 24 2003, 10:15 AM

[Toa of the Stars]

No way! Its fun! Besides, I feel I owe my readers something after they took the time to read mine. I have a chance to read yours now. I will read some more.

[Satterthwaite]

I guess you're right. Well good luck. Thanks for doing this stuff. Hope you finish soon.(with the reading, not with your story.)

[<daydreamer...]

Haha, hi peeps, did ya miss me?
I had missed out on so much and the latest chapter was great! I really liked the suspense at the end.

[Toa of the Stars]

We missed you. Good luck with that worm, by the way. I haven't heard from you in a while.

Anyway, there's a new chapter! Now I'll do a dance.

So, please post and tell me what you think! This one is low on the action.

[WeirdBionicleDud...]

Chapter 13 and Chapter 14 were both great! I'm glad Pohatu got a big part. He's my favorite toa. You probably already know that.
Hmmm. I wonder who Desh Narizan's brother is. I seems like everyone is getting those big void-slaying weapons now.
Well, I'm off to Cedar Point.
In the immortal words of myself, keep on writing a great epic!

[Satterthwaite]

Great new chapter. Who would think that that would happen? Nobody.

[HauNuva]

Apparently Toa of the Stars did.

Anyway, LOVELY new chapters! Really high high fantasy! I loved them sooooo much - Desh Narizan is a great villain for a great universe you've created. I like the idea of the protodermis heart providing consciousness to people. (although it's EXACTLY like something in Exosphere. Blast it. What a coincidence.) I'll have to give you a tip for coming up with the same idea.

Gotta go, will review more later! PM me please, I want to talk. Remind me to talk about your epic. Thanks, have a great time!

-

[Toa of the Stars]

Glad to hear from you guys, you haven't been online for a while. I enjoyed the reviews immensely.

<daydreamer>, how did you guess about Desh Narian's brother? If you followed clues, which ones were they?

Oh yeah, I was serious about doing a dance. I did a little one where I danced around the study.

HN, I really liked the positive review. When does the similarity happen? I'm only almost done with Invasion. I haven't gotten there yet, but I will soon!

I guess great minds think alike!

[Toa of the Stars]

I am proud to say that I have finally gotten onto BZP and posted a new chaper! HN, If I get a chance, I will read some more Exosphere today, I hope. You have written truly amazing story.

So, if you like what you see, please post comments! If not, well, post 'em anyway. I could use some suggestions.

[Satterthwaite]

I just read the new chapter. Awesome job! I guess Kopaka is starting to remember. Suggestions aye? I don't know exactly how I can help, but maybe I'll send a PM later.

Edit: awesome new avatar.

This post has been edited by Bolt toa of lightning: Sep 12 2003, 03:14 PM

[WeirdBionicleDud...]

So they used the Vahi.
"Thank you Chrunus. We're saved!
*climbs up mountain* Hey wait a minute! *millions of pounds of snow fall on them*."
That isn't good. Are they dead?
Sorry I haven't been posting for a while. The tracking didn't work.
Keep on writing a great epic!
EDIT: Cool! I'm a tohunga!

This post has been edited by pohatufan678: Sep 11 2003, 04:19 PM

[HauNuva]

Impressive new chapter! Your description of Kopaka's battle with the void, during the time-stop, was picture-perfect. You meld different elements together - the slowed time, the void's unholy powers, Kopaka's swordplay- into one flawless tapestry of description. It's quite a talent!

And now they've been snow-coned. I wonder how they'll get out...and how Antati's going to explain his appearance?

Thanks for reading Exosphere. I hope you like it! The similarity won't show up until near the end of Backlash.

-

[Toa of the Stars]

It's so great to come home after school and read your reviews, guys!

I wrote a new chapter, too!

Edit: The toa aren't dead. I wouldn't kill any of them off permanently...





...YET!!!

This post has been edited by Toa of the Stars: Sep 13 2003, 08:11 PM

[Satterthwaite]

Awesome new chapter! You know I wondered, if he goes into the past, then that was also Pohatu's future, meaning that he could be killed, and nothing would change. Time is weird isn't it. I'll try some stuff about it.

[Toa of the Stars]

Yeah! You really understood it! This makes me happy, becuase it means I probably explained it all right.

Time is really weird. That's one of the things that makes it so cool.

[<daydreamer...]

Neat... That's awesome. But when Mata Nui said that he knew that Pohatu would be killed on Mt. Ihu, that was definitely cold-blooded.

And the dance thing, you learned how to dance! No way! What a coincidence...

And one more thing, the Desh Narizan thing, I'm still unsure and the clues, I have no clue where they came from.

[Toa of the Stars]

QUOTE (<daydreamer> @ Sep 14 2003, 06:37 AM)

Neat... That's awesome. But when Mata Nui said that he knew that Pohatu would be killed on Mt. Ihu, that was definitely cold-blooded. And the dance thing, you learned how to dance! No way! What a coincidence... And one more thing, the Desh Narizan thing, I'm still unsure and the clues, I have no clue where they came from.

Mata Nui didn't say Pohatu would be killed, he just said that he could be killed, and that there was a great chance of it. At that's the truth.

As for dancing, I just made up my own dance. You see, I actually really stink at dancing. I just stood up and bounced around a bit.

[<daydreamer...]

Haha, and ok, he might die. And still, it's giving me a bit of the creeps.

[Satterthwaite]

Good job on this new one . Should have known that there would be a catch with those portals. DN wasn't going to just let him go back to the present. How do you get those chapters up so fast? Oh, I forgot, how is Hanri being controlled by Desh Narizan?

[Toa of the Stars]

QUOTE (Bolt toa of lightning @ Sep 14 2003, 11:14 AM)

Good job on this new one . Should have known that there would be a catch with those portals. DN wasn't going to just let him go back to the present. How do you get those chapters up so fast? Oh, I forgot, how is Hanri being controlled by Desh Narizan?

I dunno, I guess Hanri was just going a bit crazy from the ever-shifting scenery, and then Desh Narizan reached into his head and broke the last straw. One of ol' Voidmaster's favorite things to do is to play with people's minds. You'll see a lot of that in the next chapter.

How do I write so fast? Well, that last one was just a bolt of inspiration.

[Toa of the Stars]

I just posted chapter 18. I've been going really quickly!

I was really happy to post this chapter. I've been working up to it for a long time. I consider it my scariest, most emotional, most action packed chapter yet! Tell me what you guys think!

[Satterthwaite]

Very nice! I envy your inspirations that make you write so fast. I think I get distracted from it too much. I can never tell what you'll do next.

[Red Mercenary]

Man, I read both of your epics so far and MAN, you could make another Bionicle Movie. Are you related to Greg Farshtey or your his son?(Just jokin) (lol) so far to me, everything is as smooth as glass, just
Keep up the GREAT work

[<daydreamer...]

Oooh, the treachery! Me like it! And poor Hanri, killed by his 'brother'. Desh Narizan (sp?) is really getting on with his evil deeds and Pohatu stepping into the void portal, good luck to him.

Keep it up!

[HauNuva]

Wow. Those last few chapters were great. I could imagine Pohatu bumbling along in perfect clarity- and those scenes on the mountains were stunning. Poor Hanri...Desh Narizan truly is an evil guy. That scene was also described perfectly, in every way. I could imagine Hanri's internal struggle very well; your writing really gets that kind of thing across!

The forces of light don't seem to have much of a chance. Looking forward to more!

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