War For Omnimata, Review for the Epic Options

[Toa of the Stars]

Wow... I've got a lot of reviews since I last checked! Thanks!

Anyway, I'm back in school, so I hope you, my most dedicated fans, don't mind going another little while without a chapter.

[WeirdBionicleDud...]

Don't worry. I don't think that chapter was boring. You made Makuta and Mata Nui seem so childish, like kids Poor Pohatu. I can only imagine what horrors are in store for him. Poor Hanri too. Having to fight his brother and having a katar thrusted through his head. Not very happy chapters eh Toa?

This post has been edited by pohatufan678: Sep 30 2003, 03:59 PM

[Toa of the Stars]

QUOTE (pohatufan678 @ Sep 15 2003, 04:18 PM)

Don't worry. I don't think that chapter was boring. You made Makuta and Mata Nui seem so childish, like kids Poor Pohatu. I can only imagine what horrors are in store for him. Poor Hanri too. Having to fight his brother and having a katana thrusted through his head. Not very happy chapters eh Toa?

Not happy at all!

I'm glad you liked the interpretation of young Mata Nui and Makuta. I like how I made them friends in the beginning. I really should stop completimenting myself.

Actually, Hanri got a katar through his head, not a katana. Katars are punching daggers. I might explain them, if somebody wants me to. Katanas are very different. They are those really long and awesome japanese swords. You probably knew that already.

You know, I should make a toa with a katana. I still have four places left! I think I will!

Anyway, I'll stop ranting now. I just wanted to do something besides homework.

[<daydreamer...]

Haha, well at least we've got the other Toa to check out on. And have a good time watching the movie (lucky thing).

[HauNuva]

I can't wait for more chapters!

Alas, I don't have MoL yet. You could review it in here...

Compliments on the young Mata Nui / Makuta scene. You made them seem childish and mature at the same time - no easy feat!

And I love your new avatar. Antati has really gotten deadlier-looking.
-

[Toa of the Stars]

I'm glad you like my avatar. I like him too!

With any luck, I'll have a new chapter up shortly! I get school off because of the hurricane.

[<daydreamer...]

Huh? What hurricane? Man, where are the papers?

New avatar? *looks at avatar* oh. So much nicer than the previous. And lucky you have Brickshelf. hmph.

EDIT: Oh yeah, I got a chapter in my epic I need some comments from. And where have you been? I didn't see you reply for quite a while.

This post has been edited by <daydreamer>: Sep 18 2003, 06:59 AM

[Rangi42]

Nice new chapters, TotS! Mata Nui and Makuta are funny in their Matoran forms - the staring contest was a good addition. Seems like Mata Nui is better at nonphysical contests, as Makuta could beat him in arm wrestling.

How come Pohatu can get killed on Mt Ihu? It's still in the past, isn't itt? Or do they go to the future? Interesting...

The mountains Pohatu and Hanri climb are odd! One forces you to climb upside down, and one bites you! And what's in the gate opposite the Paradise one? H***?

All of the possessing is confusing! no one can tell if someone is an ally or an enemy, and like Hanri, if your opponent is a good friend, it's harder to battle them. (The possessing is confusing to the characters, I mean). If the thing Hanri battled wasn't Punri, why did he say “I can’t fight you! You are my brother!” This is a really good mystery/epic, Toa of the Stars.

BTW, cool Hanri Nuva avatar! And thanks for the replies in Makuta's Return: Part One!

[Satterthwaite]

A dagger to the head, ouch. Will the next chapter join the others at present time, or Pohatu at his battle. Then again, that might spoil it to say the setting. Good luck.

Note: I added another chapter in my epic if you want to read it.

[HauNuva]

Lovely epic, all around. Just read through your epic again, and I still love it! It has this undefinable, epic quality which really makes it fun to read - in addition to your great writing style and portrayal of setting.

When are new chapters coming up? I've been looking forward to them for a long time...

-

[Kewko]

GEEZ!! This is so GREAT!!!! Do you have a speacial bond with Greg Farshtey? Did he give you writing tips?? Greg Farshtey should get hints from you!!! I bet he could co-write eh? hehehehehehe

This post has been edited by Kewko: Sep 25 2003, 12:58 PM

[Toa of the Stars]

Wow! Thanks for all the reviews, you guys! BZP has really changed after the two weeks since I've been gone. Ironically, a few moments after I last posted, the power went off, and it came back on a few minutes ago. About that new chaper, I'm still working on it.

Thanks, guys!

Edit: For all the people whose epics I'm reading now, I'll be delayed in reading them. I have a ton of stuff to do.

This post has been edited by Toa of the Stars: Sep 29 2003, 01:59 PM

[Toa of the Stars]

After all you guys' weeks of patient waiting, I am proud to bring you another chapter. Please tell me what you think!

This post has been edited by Toa of the Stars: Oct 2 2003, 04:37 PM

[Nighthunter]

Awesome! Simply awesome! I'm still an Onimata-Fanatic!
Keep writing!!!

[Satterthwaite]

Great job on the new chapter dude, it was awesome. I felt a little sick though, after reading some grousome parts. It won't be for a while, but in my upcoming epic, I had an idea that was just like the voids. May I use them? It really helps the story get along. I liked the new chap. Bye.

[<daydreamer...]

Finally, a new chapter! And it is really gruesome! I can't believe it! My guess was right, I think. And talk about attack of the living dead!

[Toa of the Stars]

Great reviews, you guys! Thanks!

Bolt, you can use the Voids. Happy... er... writing! I hope I can write the second half of the battle when I get home from school.

[HauNuva]

Excellent chapter!

As I said in my PM, the descriptions of the battles are exquisite, and simply terrifying. You do a really great job of getting across a sense of despair when the characters are losing. The seeming invincibility of your villains adds a lot of credibility - it makes them seem much more powerful!

Anyway, your descriptions of the 'dark flame' and the 'wormy darkness' that so characterizes Desh Narizan are really good, and add a lot of texture. One hint: how about describing the smell of the various Voids and Desh Narizan, etc? I think you do, honestly, but I can really imagine it filling Pohatu's nostrils as he battles Desh Narizan.

Anyway, really looking forward to more!

-

[Toa of the Stars]

Smell? You're right! I haven't described their smells, but I do have one in mind. I might post another chapter today. I'll include smell.

Edit: I forgot to say thanks for the hint and the review!

This post has been edited by Toa of the Stars: Oct 3 2003, 01:55 PM

[WeirdBionicleDud...]

Alright! My favorite Toa gets a big fight scene! Although he did get hurt pretty badly. But he did win! Wait...no. It can't be true! He's back! He's not dead! I can't wait for the next chapter!


Keep writng a great epic!

EDIT: Whoa. That's a lot of emoticons.

This post has been edited by pohatufan678: Oct 3 2003, 04:12 PM

[Satterthwaite]

Thanks for letting me use the Voids. I need to make sure that they're creepy. You did an awesome job on the chapter. Hope you can get the next chapter up soon.

This post has been edited by Bolt toa of lightning: Oct 3 2003, 10:21 PM

[Toa of the Stars]

So far the plan is for this evening for the next chapter. One question: could you maybe, mention my name as the guy who made the voids up? It would be very nice of you.

Edit: Nevermind. Sorry, but you guys'll have to wait 'till tomorrow. My school starts so early, so I have to go to bed now, or else I'll become a complete zombie in the morning.

Oh, well. G'night.

This post has been edited by Toa of the Stars: Oct 5 2003, 08:24 PM

[Satterthwaite]

QUOTE (Toa of the Stars @ Oct 5 2003, 07:11 PM)

So far the plan is for this evening for the next chapter. One question: could you maybe, mention my name as the guy who made the voids up? It would be very nice of you. Edit: Nevermind. Sorry, but you guys'll have to wait 'till tomorrow. My school starts so early, so I have to go to bed now, or else I'll become a complete zombie in the morning. Oh, well. G'night.

Of course I'll mention you. I did that to T-Hybrid. I hope you won't be a zombie when you get up. I know from experiance, literally. You might see a PM from me soon. Go Pohatu!

[Toa of the Stars]

There! With the newest chapter, Book 2 is Finished! Please read it!

Bolt, I'm really sorry, but as an answer to your PM, I have to say no. You see, the voids are just like any generic evil villain. They're cool and all, but they're not particularly unique. But my characters are unique. Anybody could come up with voids or a void-like equivalent, but only I could make Antati the way he is, or Hanri, or Chrunus. I'm sorry. I can let you use the voids, but please don't use Antati.

I hope this is okay. Once again, I'm really sorry. I hope I haven't lost you as a reader.

This post has been edited by Toa of the Stars: Oct 6 2003, 03:23 PM

[Satterthwaite]

Loose me as a reader? Never! I never truly planned to use Antati (no offense), it was just an idea that crossed my mind. Great job on that last chapter. I'll be glad to read Part3. You don't have to apoligize, I understand perfectly. You'll see me in the next review topic you have.

[Btmm]

that is really cool,i like it.
are you going to post a new chapter?



keep up the good work!!!

[Toa of the Stars]

:Whew!: What a relief! Thanks! Thanks so much! I was kinda worried... You could probably tell, couldn't you?

Actually, I need all you reader's help. I can't think of a name for the last book! If anybody would post some suggestions, I would appreciate it.

Edit: While I was posting, I just realized I had a new reader! The next chapter will actually be in book 3, which should be out, as soon as I can think of a title for it. If you have a suggestion, please post them!

This post has been edited by Toa of the Stars: Oct 6 2003, 03:41 PM

[Satterthwaite]

How about Masters of the Void? Hmm...I'll come up with something. Maybe the others can help better.

Edit. Great job on the last chapter!

This post has been edited by Bolt toa of lightning: Oct 7 2003, 02:10 PM

[HauNuva]

HAAAHAAA! YES! I DID IT!

I am proud to announce that I am the first one to read and reply to the last chapter of War for Omnimata. Now, I need to do a REALLY big review...but first title suggestions!

OK, here are some:
Masters of the Void (bolt may be right...)
The Final Reckoning/ The Final Convergence/ The Penultimate Confrontation/Something like that (I don't really like those)
The Heart of the Void/ The Nexus of the Void/ Void Nexus
Cathexis
Desh Narizan's Revenge (tacky. How about 'Attack of the Clones?)

Any of those helpful?

Anyway, I need to go, but I promise another final review soon. A thousand praises for this colossally tremendously wonderful epic! I can't wait for more.

-

[<daydreamer...]

The last chapter was sweet. And you're making another one? How many books are u writing for this? And the titles, hmm... I'm not such a genius as HauNuva but I like them, esp. that 'Cathexis' one. (Wonder what it means... )

[Toa of the Stars]

Wow! Nice titles, you guys! Masters of the Void is good, but it is kinda the title of the whole trilogy.

Cathexis sounds cool, but... well... I don't know what it means. Could you please tell me?

<daydreamer>, I'm writing three books. I like Cathexis too, but I want to know what it means, first.

[Satterthwaite]

Cathexis sounds pretty cool. I just wish I knew what it meant. Didn't expect my idea to be good choice like the others. I hope you can get the third book up soon. I don't have much time today, so I don't think I can give you an idea yet.

[WeirdBionicleDud...]

Wow! Again, as a Pohatu lover, I loved his big scene. And, like what <daydreamer> said, I'm not a genius like HauNuva. But I do know when I see a good epic. I think that this is the best epic I've ever read. As for the title of the third book, I think that "The Final Battle" would be good, although it is kind of cliched.

Keep writing a great epic!

This post has been edited by pohatufan678: Oct 7 2003, 04:12 PM

[HauNuva]

Cathexis: the concentration of desire upon an object or idea. It's used as 'goal' or 'destination.' So in other words, it's kind of a 'convergence.' Hey, how about 'Convergence?' Or maybe 'Final Cathexis' would make more sense.

And if it sounds cool, it'll get readers. Nobody has to know what it means!

Anyway, looking forward to the next book.

-

[Toa of the Stars]

Big Edit: Forget about the stuff I posted earlier in this post, if anybody read it. For now, its "Final Cathexis!" Thanks for the title, HN! If anybody else still has suggestions, though, I'd like to hear them.

Edit: Or maybe, Final Convergence. Or just Convergence.

What do you guys think?

This post has been edited by Toa of the Stars: Oct 7 2003, 06:41 PM

[HauNuva]

Glad I could help! You know, 'Conjunction' might be good, although I like 'Final Cathexis.' I'm flattered that you picked my title suggestion! Anyway, looking forward to the next book. How's it coming?

And in case you ever get that syndrome when you think, 'boy, all everyone ever says is 'when's the next chapter, is this really worth it?,' we all enjoy your epic immensely! It's simply too good for words!
-

[Toa of the Stars]

Actually, I haven't decided on Final Cathexis. I'm trying to decide between these three amazing title suggestions: Cathexis, Convergence, or Conjunction. I might add "Final" or "Last" to any of these three just for effect. Which one of these three do you like the best? I'd like to hear from my other readers, too.

The next chapter is coming along fine, and I'm very glad you're anticipating it.

This post has been edited by Toa of the Stars: Oct 9 2003, 02:38 PM

[WeirdBionicleDud...]

Now, you see I have to make this ten words, so that's the only reason I just wrote these words.

As for the title, I think Final Convergence would be cool.

Keep writing a great epic!

This post has been edited by pohatufan678: Oct 10 2003, 03:59 PM

[Toa of the Stars]

'K! One vote for Final Convergence! Anybody else want to add their vote?

I'd really like you to...

[Kewko]

Final Convergence is great!!!!