(On Bara Magna.)
(Berix and Tarduk are digging through the sands.)
Berix: You find any thing yet?
Tarduk: Nope.
Berix: Oh.
(They continue digging, until they find a door hidden in the sands.)
Berix: What's this?
(They open it, and discover it is some sort of enormous storage facility, full of giant wooden crates.)
Berix and tarduk: SWEET!!!
(They crawl down into it.)
Berix: (Sneezes.) It's like spider city down here!
Tarduk: It's probably one of the supply facilitys they used in the core war.
Berix: How can you tell?
(Tarduk points to large sign that says: "Supply facility. Keep out.")
Berix: I wonder which tribe owned it?
Tarduk: I think that this was a privately owned one. There are goods from all 6 tribes here.
Berix: Well, let's open these boxes and see what they were storing.
(They open a box, and see that it's full of old, broken Machine parts.)
Berix: What the?
Tarduk: Ok, so I take back what I said earlier. This was a ware house where they stored there garbage.
Berix: ......You know, I have an idea, that's just crazy enough to work.
(That night, numerous Agroi hear sawing, hammering, and drilling from outside there homes.)
(The Next day.)
Ackar: I wonder what all that noise was last ni- Oh....
(A large building is now in the middle of the mega city. A sign out front reads, "Berix and Tarduk's Salvage Shop.")
Ackar: Oh great.
Mata Nui: What's going on?
Ackar: Those two looters have gone in to buisness together.
(Ackar and Mata Nui go inside.)
Berix: Welcome! See any thing you like?
Tarduk: We have more in the back!
Ackar: Where did you get all this junk?
Berix: We found a supply facility!
Mata Nui: Where?
Tarduk: Right beneath this shop.
(Gresh and Kiina come in.)
Kiina: What's all the hubub about?
Ackar: These two found some garbage and are trying to make a profit off of it.
Kiina: What kind of weirdo would want stuff like this?
Gresh: NO WAY! A CERVASTUS ACTION FIGURE! HOW MUCH?!
Berix: Five dollars.
Gresh: Here's ten!
Gresh, running out of the store: WOO HOO!
Ackar: Your boyfriend is weird, you know that?
Kiina: Shut up, Ackar.
Berix: Hey Kiina, I found something for you.
(Berix takes out a copy of THORNATUS monthly.)
Kiina: NO WAY! THIS IS THE FIRST ISSUE EVER!
Tarduk: Five dollars.
(Kiina pays, grabs it, and goes running out of the store.)
Kiina: WEEEEEEE!!!!

Word count: 410

Awesome comedy. Fave part:



Ackar: Like boyfriend like girlfriend

Oh man, I love the comedies you write. This one seems promising. The pairing of Berix and Tarduk seems like a good one, and I'll be looking into this one.

Chapter 2: The gathering of the misfits.

(On Bara Magna.)
(Crotesius comes into the Shop.)
Crotesius: Hey guys, you got any parts for a Cendox?
Berix: We certainly do!
Tarduk: Infact, we have enough parts to build 5 Cendoxs.
Crotesius: Awesome.
(He looks through the bin of Cendox parts.)
Crotesius: Hey, What's this?
(He holds up a metal tube.)
Tarduk: Let me see.
(Tarduk looks it over, and pops the lid off. Several scrolls fall out.)
Tarduk: Whoah, look at this stuff.
Berix: Here's a map to all the Storage bunkers on Bara Magna!
Crotesius: Look at these Vehicle designs! I've never seen anything like them!
Tarduk: I wonder what's in those other storage bunkers.
Berix: We could find out. The're not very far away.
Crotesius: I could give you a ride, in exchange for some parts.
Tarduk: DEAL!

(Later, they are all riding on the Cendox V1.)
Berix: Let's go to this one in The White Quartz mountains.
Tarduk: Yeah, there should be some Exsidian there.
Crotesius: SWEET! I can get some to help build those Vehicles!
(Watching them behind a cliff, is Sahmad, in the Baranus V7.)
Sahmad: Exsidaian, huh? I could get some lunch with that. (To Spikit.) Leftie, Rightie, Let's go boys!
Spikit's left head: What's the magic word?
Sahmad: Please.
Spikit's right head: Thank you!
(They start to follow The Agori.)

(At the White Quartz Mountains, Strakk is standing on a snowy cliff.)
Strakk: I'm Pretty!
Echo: I'm Pretty!
Strakk: I'm Prettier!
Echo: I'm Prettier!
Strakk: No I'm Prettier!
Echo: No I'm Prettier!
Strakk: I am!
Echo: I am!
Strakk: You're dumb!
Echo: You're dumb!
Strakk: I know you are, but what am I?
Echo: I know you are but what am I?
Strakk: Oh, he's good.
(Strakk sees the Agori at the bottom of the mountain.)
Strakk: Hey, what are those guys up to?

(With the Agori.)
Berix: The Hatch Should be right about....HERE!
(He opens a hatch in the ground.)
Tarduk: Let's check it out.
(They all climb down into the bunker.)
Crotesius: It's full of.....Popsicles?
(The Bunker is full of frozen treats like Popsicles, Icecream, and so on.)
Tarduk: You know, this actually makes sense, with the landscape outside.
Crotesius: But what good is it?
???: Are you ssssseriously that ssssstupid?
Crotesius: Who's there?!
Berix, with water sword: Show your self! NOW!
(Snake form Metus, wearing a scarf, slithers out from behind some buckets of icecream.)
Tarduk: Snakes....why did it have to be snakes?
Berix: What are you doing here, you little worm?
Metus: Your one to talk, theif. If you must know, I was planning to start my own buisssnessss.
Crotesius: What sort of business?
Metus: An Icecream stand, dummy. Who wouldn't want a cold refreshment while walking through the desert? But thanks to Mata Nui, that'll never happen.
Berix: Well, we were going to start our own buisness. We thought that there where usful objects in here.
Tarduk: But it seems that there actually are. Thank's for the idea.
Metus: HEY! DON'T YOU DARE COME IN WITH 3 INCHES OF MY ICECREAM!
Crotesius: Hey guys, I can't beleive I'm going to say this, But I think we need him.
Berix and Tarduk: WHAT?!
Crotesius: Well, You know he used to do acounting and taxes for the villages right?
Berix: Your point?
Crotesius: What do you guys know about running a buisness?
Tarduk: .........Okay, you have a point.
Berix: Okay Metus, we'll make a deal. We'll let you sell icecream in our shop, if you do our accounting and stuff.
Metus: Well, I can't argue with that offer. Say, have any of you seen my Moronic helper, Strakk? I havn't seen him in 3 days.
Tarduk: No. But I thought we heard something when we got here.
(They Suddenly here loud noises outside of the bunker.)
Berix: WHAT THE?
(They all scramble up the ladder, except for Metus, who has no arms.)
Metus: HEY! Wait for me!
(Berix slides back down, grabs him by the tail, and yanks him up.)
(On the surface, Strakk is fighting Sahmad, who is driving the Baranus.)
Strakk: Hey man, stay away from boss's bunker!
Sahmad: Mind your own beeswax!
(Strakk shoots a Thornax at Sahmad, knocking him off of the Baranus. The Agori come and hold him down.)
Sahmad: LEFTIE! RIGHTIE! HELP!
Leftie: Let go of Sahmad!
Rightie: Or we'll eat you!
Berix: WAIT! What if we make a deal?
Sahmad: What do you have in mind?
Berix: You need a new line of work, right?
Sahmad: Yes, with the Skrall gone, there's no one to sell Agori too. Well, except the Bone Hunters, but they havn't bought one in months.
Tarduk: They buy Agori?
Sahmad: Well yeah, They get sick of Sand Stalker meat.
Others:
Tarduk: Well, what if we offered you a job?
Sahmad: What kind of job?
Berix: You seem to have a large cart-
Sahmad: Baranus.
Berix: Whatever. Can it carry cargo, and can it carry it fast?
Sahmad: I suppose so. Why?
Tarduk: Because we have your first job for you.

(Later, All of the Icecream has been loaded on the Baranus V7.)
Sahmad: A DELIVERY BOY?!?! THIS IS UNDIGNAFIED!!!
Berix: Don't think of as delivery boy. Think of it as "Transporter of goods".
Sahmad: Whatever. I'm only doing this for the cash, you know.
Crotesius: You guys ready to go?
Tarduk: Yep. Where are Strakk and Metus going to sit?
Crotesius: In the trunk.
Metus, From trunk: THIS IS VERY UNCOMFERTABLE!!!

Word count: 907

THE WORK FORCE OF BERIX AND TARDUK'S SALVAGE SHOP:

Berix: Best decribed as a dumpster diver, he always is on the lookout for more to "collect".
Tarduk: An avid finder of ancient artifacts, he's also knowledgeable about Bara Magna's history.
Crotesius: The Mechanic of the team, he one day hopes to build the ancient vehicle plans he found.
Metus: The "reformed" owner of the icecream stand in the shop. Posesses legendary buisnessman skills.
Strakk: Is aways looking for a date, but has no luck. He sounds like Elvis when he talks.
Sahmad: The cranky "transporter of goods", has an infamously strong and fast Baranus.
Leftie and Righty: Sahmad's Spikit. Leftie is the left head, and Righty is the right head. They disagree constantly.

Best line of the chapter. I have to say that Strakk's character is great. It's like all comedies need that kind of character, huh? Any way, nice chapter.

Epic part. I wonder what's gonna happen now that Metus is there. People wouldn't want to come three meters close to him

Chapter 3: The rise of an empire

(At the shop.)
Berix: Get ready guys! Opening time!
Tarduk: I got the orders for the new parts!
Crotesius: I'll fire up the welder!
Strakk: Where's my hair gel?
Metus: Who took my Icecream scoop?
Sahmad: Where's the Baranus? I parked it out front last night!
Berix: It's in the garage, Sahmad.

(Later.)
(Ackar, Mata Nui, Kiina, and Gresh come into the store.)
Ackar: WHAT THE? WHAT ARE THEY DOING HERE?!?
Berix: We needed some help.
Tarduk: We made an offer they couldn't refuse.
(Strakk sees Kiina, and rushes over and leans on the the wall.)
Strakk: Hey there pretty mama.
(Kiina smashes him on the floor.)
Strakk: Whatever.
Mata Nui: YOU!
Metus: Ssssssuprisssssed?
Mata Nui: Well kinda.....I mean, your a snake selling Icecream.
Gresh: Tarduk, why these guys?
Tarduk: They needed jobs, we needed workers.
Berix: It's simple economics.
Ackar: Simple economics my foot. The're all criminals.
Sahmad: Aaahhh, shuddup, grampa.
Strakk: You tell him, little man.
Ackar: AND YOU! YOUR SUPPOSED TO BE BANISHED!!!
Crotesius: Hey man, The're cool.
Metus: Hey, are any of you going to buy any icecream?
All: NO!
(5 seconds later, they all walk out with extra-large icecream cones.)
Gresh: ......How did he do that?
Kiina: I dunno.....But this is delicious!
Mata Nui: Maybe he has turned over a new leaf.
Ackar: I doubt it.
(Inside the store.)
Berix: Metus, you have to teach me that!
Metus: I can't, it's genetic.
Tarduk: Do we have genes?
Metus: Aparantly.
Crotesius: Hey guys, I have that part for the kaxium done.
Berix: Good. You ready Sahmad?
Sahmad: Alright, alright, put it on the Baranus.
(Later.)
Sahmad: Leftie, Rightie, we need to get to Kirbaz and Scondonis's workshop. Any clue where that is?
Leftie: Nope.
Rightie: Not a clue.
Sahmad: This is so not worth 5 dollars an hour.

Word count: 301

Ha. Sahmand makes 5 bucks an hour. That's just great.

Poor Sahmad. But really. 5 dollars?!?! Even I get more than that!!

(At the Shop.)
Berix: Hey, Crotesius, what happened to Sahmad? We have some more parts for him to deliver.
Crotesius: I dunno, last time I saw him, he was taking that Kaxium part to Scodonis and Kirbaz's workshop.
Tarduk: I wonder where he is?
(Bota Magna.)
Sahmad: For the last time, I don't want any fruit!
Fruit stand Agori: Wa-sha-laka-ingna-Sii?
(At the shop.)
Crotesius: Well, where ever he is, I'm sure he's fine.
Metus: Where'sssss Ssstrakk?
Crotesius: He said he went to find some more help.
Berix: But we have more then enough help!
(Strakk comes in, grinning.)
Strakk: Hey little dudes, guess what?
Metus: What did you do you fool?
Strakk: I got us a commercial gig.
Berix: What for?
Strakk: C'mon, we can't stay a small business. We need to compete with the big dogs. Like....Skrallmart.
Berix: COMPETE WITH SKRALLMART? ARE YOU CRAZY?
Strakk: It can't be that hard. If it wasn't do you think the Skrall could do it?
Tarduk: How did you do this? How much did this cost?
Strakk: It was a deal. Only $100.00.
Berix: How much do we have in the register?
(They all run over to the register.)
Crotesius: We have....Five dollars.
Tarduk: FIVE DOLLARS?! (Chimp voice.) OOH-EE-OOH-AHH-AHH-AHH!!!
Berix: Okay everybody calm down! Let's reveiw the situation. Strakk purchesed an alloted time for an advertisment on television. How can we make the best of this?
Tarduk: Well, we could make it ourselves. That'll save money.
Berix: That's sounds like a good idea. Do we have some equipment?
Crotesius: Yep, We have some Cameras I can fix.
Berix: GREAT! Metus, do you think we can do this?
Metus: We don't have a chance.
Berix: FANTASTIC! We'll film it today when Sahmad gets back!
Strakk: Where is the short man anyway?
(Sahmad slams the door open. He is dirty, and covered in smashed fruit.)
Sahmad: They.......Just kept coming......They were relentless.....
Tarduk: Sahmad, are you Oka-
Sahmad: I DON'T WANT ANY FRUIT! I DON'T WANT ANY FRUIT!
(Later.)
(In the Lot behind the Shop, They have set up a very basic filming area.)
Berix: Okay, are we ready?
Tarduk: Yep.
Strakk: ACTION!
Berix: Hi, I'm Berix.
Tarduk: And I'm Tarduk.
Berix: Here at Berix And Tarduk's Salvage Shop, offer the best of anything.
Tarduk: Furniture, Vehicles, Magazines, if you want it, we got it.
Berix: We also fix things you already own!
(We see Crotesius.)
Crotesius: Hi!
Tarduk: And if you have to go home, Our Delivery man will bring you your repaired item to you!
(We see Sahmad.)
Sahmad:
Berix: And if that wern't enough, we now have MR. M's Icecream right in our store!
(We see Metus.)
Metus: Hi, I'm Mr. M. We have all kinds of flavors at Mr. M's Icecream.
Tarduk: So come visit all of us at-
All: BERIX AND TARDUK'S SALVAGE SHOP!!!
(Later, they are all watching tv.)
Berix: Hey guys, It's one!
(On the T.V., the commercial begins to play.)

Berix: Hi, I'm Berix.
Tarduk: and I'm Tarduk.
(Suddenly, the commercial cuts to a black screen, and the word SKRALLMART flash in bright red letters.)
Pro. Wrestler's voice: SKRALLMART!!!
Stronius: Hey, do you guys wanna find the best prices of all time? Do you want to get the best weapons money can buy? Then come to-
Pro. Wrestlers's voice: SKRALLMART!!!
Atakus: They have all my daily needs at-
Pro. Wrestler's voice: SKRALLMART!!!
Stronius: So come get your deals today at-
Pro. Wrestler's voice: SKRALLMART!!!

Berix: Guys......we are in trouble.

Word count: 581

this is really funny, i enjoy the Johnny Bravo references with Strakk, and Metus' trick with the icecream was hilarious

keep it up

That was hilarious!

Skrallmart was just clever. I thought you were going to make the commercial a lot lamer though. Like that one where the guy rapped through the whole thing.

(At the Shop.)
Berix: Hey Tarduk, check this out!
(Berix hold up a Skrall sword.)
Tarduk: Where did you get that?
Berix: I traded a Skrall for it.
Crotesius: How did you get a Skrall to give up his weopon? That's impossible!
(Flashback.)
(Berix is with a Skrall.)
Berix: Nice sword.
Skrall: Yeah.
Berix: Can I have it?
Skrall: Sure.
Berix: REALLY?!
Skrall: Yeah, I don't need it anymore.
Berix: Why not?
Skrall: Branar just invented the Nuclear Missle.
Berix:
(End Flashback.)
Tarduk: BRANAR INVENTED THE NUCLEAR MISSLE?!! BERIX, DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?!!
Berix: Yeah, we are going to have a clearence sale on all this Skrall stuff I traded.
Tarduk: It means the Skrall are going to strike back! Someone needs to tell Raanu!!!
Berix: Oh. Is that all?
Crotesius: IS THAT ALL?!! THIS COULD SPELL DOOM FOR EVERYONE!
Berix: Oohhhhh.....So this is a bad thing?
Tarduk and Crotesius: YES!!!
(Later.)
Raanu: THEY HAVE A NUCLEAR MISSLE?!!
Berix: Yep. Bummer, ain't it?
Raanu: This is terrible! This is the Shattering all over again!
Tarduk: They seem pretty self confident. They gave all of there old weopons to Berix.
Raanu: That's.......What was Berix doing there?
Berix: I was trying to sell some faulty equipment to them. You know, for a prank.
Raanu: THIS IS TERRIBLE! WHAT SHALL WE DO?
Ackar: We'll save you!!!
Gresh: YEAH!
Kiina: WOO HOO!
Mata Nui: Um...Yeah.
Click: CLICK!
Berix: Okay..... How?
Ackar: Um......
Tarduk: I have an Idea.
Gresh: What's that, little monkey man?
Tarduk: Our and I could go see there leader.
Raanu: How would you do that?
Tarduk: We could claim to be there on buisness, that we are selling our shop to Skrallmart.
Berix: Are we?
Tarduk: Of course not. And once we are in there base, we can dissable the Nuclear Missle.
Raanu: Hmmmm....Simple, yet effective........I like it.

Word count: 309

Berix is really dumb at times

(The Work force of the shop are riding to Roxtus. Berix, Tarduk, and Crotesius are riding the Cendox V1, and Sahmad, Strakk, and Metus are riding on the Baranus.)

(Later, they have entered the gates of SKRALLMART industries, and meet the Sister of the Skrall receptionist (Who's name is Rita.) at the desk.)
Berix: We are here to see the owner of Skrallmart.
Rita: Do you have an appointment?
Tarduk: Well, no, but-
Rita: I can't let you in unless you have an apointment.
Strakk: Let me handle this, lil'man.
Starkk: Hey baby. What's say you and I go out tonight, around 8:00?
Rita: I don't date losers.
Strakk:
Metus: Hello, I'm Metussss. I sssay we do have an appointment.
(5 minutes later, they are all walking into the building.)
Berix: Strakk, stay here, make sure She dosn't call the Skrall police.
Tarduk: And don't flirt. It's painful to watch.
(The rest of the group go into the elevator.)
(as it assend into the tower, an elevator music version of the imperial march plays.)
(When they finally reach the top, they are in a long hall of multipal doors.)
Tarduk: Okay guys, remember the plan. Berix, Metus and I will distract the boss. Crotesius and Sahmad, you find the Nuclear Missle, and disarm it.
Sahmad: What ever.
(Berix, Tarduk, and Metus go into a large confernce room. Tuma is at the other end.)
Tuma: What do you want?
Berix: We would like to sell our company to you.
Tuma: What company is that?
Tarduk: We sell Salvaged equipment and parts.
Tuma: Really? What kind of parts?
Metus: Let me cut to the chase Tuma,-
(With Sahmad and Crotesius.)
Crotesius: Let's try this door.
Sahmad: We already tried that door. This is hopeless.
Crotesius: Well, those are the words of a quiter. Do you want to be a quitter?
Sahmad: Yes.
Crotesius: Look, we havn't tried this door.
(He opens the door, and inside is a Skrall labratory.)
(Branar, and his assitant the Stars Skrall, are puting the finishing touches on an enormous nuclear missle.)
Branar: Soon, we will have our revenge!!! (As Dr. Evil.) Muhahahaha! Muahahhahahahaha! Muhahahahahaha!!!
Sahmad: There it is!
Crotesius: SH! Be quiet!
(Both of them sneak up behind some machinery.)
Crotesius: We have to get to that control panel. But how?
Sahmad: I have an Idea.
(Suddenly, Sahmad throws Crotesius into Branar.)
(Sahmad then runs to the control panel, a complicated board of buttens and switches.)
Sahmad: Uhhhhhhh.....(Presses all the buttons at once.)
(An alram sounds, and a red light flashes.)
Sahmad: LET'S GET OUTTA HERE!!!
(Crotesius and Sahmad run out of the labratory.)
(In the conference room, Tuma is about to hand the deed to Skrallmart to Metus. Suddenly, Sahmad and Crotesius burst into the room.)
Crotesius: RUN!!!
(The crew run down all 40 flights of stairs, and into the lobby, where Strakk and Rita are kissing.)
Strakk: Hey, what's going on?
(They grab him and Rita, and drag them out of the building, Jump on the Vehicles, and start riding away.)
(Just as they get back to the shop, they see a gigantic explosion in the distance.)
Berix: THAT'S WHAT A NUCLEAR MISSLE DOES?

Word count: 530

Ha ha, Family guy StarWars episode reference FTW. Keep this up.

Poor Berix. Just found out what a Nuke is

I wonder what that would sound like? Anyway, this is a good comedy. At some points I'm dissapointed in the Script format, but at other times it seems to work for you. Keep up the good work! Oh, and that flashback about Berix getting the Skrall sword was pretty funny.

Metus must be a very good salesman If their supposed to be selling thier shop to Tumabut Tuma almost sells his shop to them!

Boom,headshot.

dude this is awsome i like that your not goin crazy with emoticons

Berix: THAT'S WHAT A NUCLEAR MISSLE DOES?
thats my favorite part

(At the shop.)
Berix: I wonder where all the customers are.
Tarduk: I've been wondering the same thing.
Berix: I havn't seen any.....Well, I can't even remember the last time we had customers.
Crotesius: Maybe the're hiding. The Bone Hunters have been pretty bad recently.
(Suddenly, they hear yelling, whooping, and singing. They all run to the window to see the Bone hunter rushing by on there rock steeds, with Fero in the Lead.)
Fero, singing: you better lock all your doors today,
cause the bone hunters are on there way,
when we come ridin' you best be hidin',
from me and m'forty theives!
your freinds and family, your money too,
we'll come and steal all of them from you,
when we are comin' you best be runnin'
from me and m'forty theives!
we're bone hunters!
all, singing: we're bone hunters!
Fero, singing: my gang's the toughest, but I'm the roughest, and that's no lie,
we're bone hunters!
all, singing: we're bone hunters!
Fero, singing: you've got to hand it to theese bad bandints, cuz we are terrible guys!
(As they ride into town, they start stealing from everybody.)
(The Bone hunters rush past a fruit stand.)
Bone Hunters: BANANABANANABANANABANANABANANA!!!
(They empty out the fruit stand.)
(The Bone hunters Rush past a Barber shop.)
Bone hunters: BARBERBARBERBARBERBARBERBARBER!!!
(They steal the stripes off of the Barber pole.)
(They rush past an agori with chattering teeth.)
Bone hunters: TEETHTEETHTEETHTEETH!!!
(They steal the Agori's teeth.)
(They rush past a fishbowl.)
Bone hunters: FISHFISHFISHFISH!!!
(They steal the fish.)
(Then, as quickly as they came, they ride out of town.)
Berix: Wow....This is bad.
Tarduk: Thank you, Captain Obvious.
Crotesius: Will this affect us?
Berix: Maybe.
Tarduk: Let's go get the Glatorian. They'll know what to do!
(They Rush over to the Glatorian's apartment building, where they all live.)
Berix: Ackar!
Ackar's voice, from window: What is it?
Tarduk: The bone hunters came again! What should we do?!
Ackar: Um...I dunno!
Crotesius: Come down here, and bring the other Glatorian! We need to talk about this!
Ackar: We can't.....
Berix: WHY NOT?!
Ackar: Because.....they stole all our armor.
Berix: Oh.......Um......Well.....Yeah.....
Tarduk: Let's leave.
Crotesius: Yeah, let's.

Word count: 361

I wonder what Kiina would look like without armor 0_o

(As Berix, Tarduk, and Crotesius make there way back to the shop, they find it to be missing.)

Berix: HOLY ROCKSTEED! THEY STOLE THE SHOP!
Tarduk: Can they DO that?
Crotesius: I guess they can.
(At that moment, Strakk comes by.)
Strakk: Hey man.
Berix: Where's Sahmad?
Tarduk: And Metus?
Strakk: Dunno.
(Sahmad comes by on the baranus.)
Sahmad: What's going on?
Berix: They stole the shop!
Sahmad: Well what are you loosers standing around for? Let's go get it back!

(Later, they are all riding through the desert.)
Sahmad: Leftie, Rightie, see any tracks?
Leftie: Nope.
Rightie: Nada.
Berix: I wonder where Metus is? I hope he's alright.
Tarduk: Maybe the bonehunters took him.
(Suddenly, the ground starts rumbling, and the Skopio VX-1 comes out of the sands.)
Berix: SKOPIO!
Telluris: FREEZE!!!
Tarduk: Don't try anything Telluis! We have you outnumbered!
Telluris: Rock-salt dude, I gotta tank! Guys with tanks are never outnumbered!
Berix: Telluris, how about we make a deal?
Tarduk: Berix, we don't have Metus with us.
Berix: Shoot, your right.
Telluris: Prepare to meet your doom!
Strakk: Hey man, knock it off, you're just angry because you're a stunted Glatorian.
Telluris: FIRST YOU MAKE ME GO THROUGH ALL THIS TROUBLE OF BURRING MY VEHICLE, AND NOW YOU MAKE FUN OF MY SIZE! NOW YOU DIE!
(He fires thornax from his skopio.)
(Sahmad attacks the skopio, causing it to tip over.)
Telluris: Ooooh great. Isn't this magical? Thank you for ruining my reputation.
Sahmad: Your just jelous because your high and mighty machine was beaten by a primitive war chariot.
Sahmad: Okay guys, let's go. Guys?
(He turns around, and sees that there all missing. He then gets off the baranus and starts looking around.)
Sahmad: Aw man. Stupid Bone hunters.
(He turns around, and sees that the baranus, Leftie and Righty, The Skopio XV-1, and Telluris are gone.)
Sahmad: AW, COME ON!

word count: 329

Wow, those bone hunters work pretty quick. The lasts two chapters were good. I can see the Bone Hunters are going to be the main antagonists and Sahmad is reluctantly the protagonist .

~Dramatic.Chipmunk

(Sahmad is walking through the desert.)

Sahmad: Of all the things that had to happen. I'm stranded in the middle of the desert with no vehicle, no food, and no shelter. Well, I guess this is what you get when you work for two sand shoveling morons. Well good riddance.
(He turns around and sees a rock behind him.)
Sahmad: .......Rock....
(He turns around and walks some more, then suddenly turns around. The rock appears to be closer.)
Sahmad: Now we're being followed by rocks...That's never a good sign.
(He walks some more, then turns around. The rock is right next to him. He picks it up.)
Rock: PUT ME DOWN!
(Sahmad drops the rock.)
Sahmad: Duh....Duh....
Rock: Yes, I'm a talking rock, now stop gawking and put me right side up, I can't move on my own you know.
Sahmad: But...your a rock....
Rock: I've already established that, now put me right side up!
Sahmad: But your a rock, how am I supposed to know which side is right side up?
Rock: Just pick me up and turn me around until I say stop .
(Sahmad begins to do as he is told.)
Rock: Warmer. Warmer. HOT! YOUR ON FIRE!
Sahmad: OW, IT BURNS!
Rock: Now put me down gently.
(Sahmad sets the rock down.)
Rock: Now that that's over what are you going to do about your friends?
Sahmad: What friends? I don't have any friends.
Rock: Yes you do. Who were you just with a few hours ago?
Sahmad: Those aren't friends, those are employers.
Rock: Look, I'm trying to help you, so just bear with me hear alright?
Sahmad: Fine. What do I have to do?
Rock: Go Rescue them.
Sahmad: But how?
Rock: See that cliff over there? That's the Bone Hunter's hide out. Your friends should be inside.
Sahmad: But How am I supposed to fight them.
Rock: Take this.
(The Rock somehow gets a can of spinich into Sahmad's hand.)
Sahmad: Um....thanks, but how am I supposed to use this?
Rock: You'll know when it's time. Now go Rescue your friends.
Sahmad: OKAY!
(He runs off to the cliff.)
Rock:.......What did I do, He's gonna get squashed.

(At the cliff, Sahmad arrives just in time to see the Bone Bunters ride up to the cliff side.)
Fero: OPEN SESEME!!!
(Epic music plays, and a hidden door in the rock opens up. The Bone hunters ride in, but before Sahmad can get in, the door closes.)
Sahmad: Now what did he say? OPEN SEESAW! OPEN SAYSO!
(Sahmad tries opening the door with his arms, and is about to give up, when He notices the sharp, saw like edges on his helmet. He then cuts a little door in the rock for himself.)
Sahmad: It's a violation of the law to have an exit ya can't get in through.
(As he sneaks through the cavern, he sees all the treasures the bone hunters have hoarded, such as a chest of gold, a silver crown, and a UFO.)

(With Fero.)
(Fero is eating his dinner. Nearby, the people he has taken prisoner are chained up.)
(As Fero takes a drink, Strakk Snatches a bucket of chicken, empties it in his mouth, and puts it back, just as Fero reaches for it, and sees that it's empty.)
Fero: HEY! MUST BE THIEVES AROUND HERE!
(At that moment, Sahmad jumps on the table.)
Sahmad: You gotta give all the stuff you took back!
Fero: Are you trying to make a fool out of me?
Sahmad: I'd like to, but you beat me to it!
(Fero punches him into a group of Bone Hunters who beat him up, tie him to a rope, and toss him down a well.)
(At the bottom is water, and a shark fin appears. The shark jumps up at Sahmad, who punches it in the nose, making it go away.)
Sahmad: Somebody's gonna be sorry for this!
(He takes out the can of spinich.)
Sahmad: OPEN SEZ ME!
(The epic music playes, and the can opens. Sahmad then eats the spinich, and starts climing up the rope.)

(The Following scenes have been censored for awesomeness that can only be portrayed in old Popeye cartoons.)

(When Sahmad is finished, all the Bonehunters are tied up.)
Berix: YOU DID IT SAHMAD!
Sahmad: Yeah, but don't expect me to do it again.
(Later, They have loaded all the treasure up on a giant cart, and are making the Bone hunters and there Rocksteeds pull it back to the mega city.)

Word count: 753

Pretty good, though I think I recognize a few scenes from your other comedy, "the villains go directly to jail." And that mention of a N-d-st Colony was just obscene, I'm afraid. Same goes to Zeskii's post!
Other than those few faults, this is a very funny comedy.

X-Ray.

That was hilarious! I was laughing so harrd I bet my neighbors heard it! It was about time somebody on Bara Magna invented the Nuclear missile.

(At the shop, Crotesius is working on his Cendox V1.)

Berix: What's up, Crotesius?
Crotesius: I'm getting ready for the Annual Vehicle race.
Tarduk: Really? Wow, I didn't know you were in that.
Crotesius: I was that guy at the pit stop. The one who always got his hand stuck in the engine.
Tarduk: That was you?
Berix: I thought that guy died after he was sucked up in Perditus's engine.
Crotesius: I quit after that.
Berix: Well do you need any help?
Crotesius: Well, I'm having trouble finding the right bolt for this part, but other then that-
Tarduk: Don't worry buddy, we got your back.
Berix: Come on, we'll get you all fixed up.
Crotesius: But I just need-
Berix: We know, we know. It needs a compleate overhaul.
Tarduk: Think nothing of it. It's the least we could do.

(Meanwhile, Sahmad, Strakk, and Metus are emptying the cart,and are giving the town back it's vaulubles.)

Sahmad: Who's armor is this?
Ackar, in his Long Johns: MINE!
Strakk: Who's Um....what is this?
Metus: It's a pair of hedge clippers, you fool!
Jungle Agori: MINE!
Sahmad: Who's.....um....
(He holds up what appears to be a shrine of Gresh, made with photos of him, candles, and bits of rust off his armor.)
Kiina: IT'S MINE! MINE! DON'T GIVE IT TO ANYONE ELSE, BECAUSE IT'S MINE!
Sahmad: .......Okay. (To Gresh.) Good luck, dude.
Metus: Which moron is missing his vintage Cervastus Action figure?
Gresh: ME!

(With Crotesius, Berix, and Tarduk, they have stripped the Cendox down to a skeleton.)
Crotesius: Guys, this really isn't necessary.
Berix: Oh no, it' quite alright.
Tarduk: We don't mind.
Crotesius: Alright, alright.
Berix: Tarduk, it lookes like we might have to weld this little crack in the frame. Would you hand me the flame thrower?
Tarduk: Of course, Berix.
Crotesius: NO! NONONONO!-I mean, how about I fix that?
Berix: Okay then. Tarduk, why don't you and I go work on the armor?
(Later, they have almost finished rebuiding it.)
Crotesius: Hey guys, I'm going to get a wrench, I'll be right back.
(He leaves the room and comes back in.)
Crotesius: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!
Berix: It was almost done, so we decided to go ahead and finish it.
Tarduk: Isn't it great?
(The Cendox is now a barley reconizable vehicle that lookes like a trashheap.)
Berix: We added a few extra features.

Word Count: 398

Wow, three chappies?!?! How long have I been gone?? I'll just quote the third chappie anyways...


Wait, so he died?



That was... weird. But I always didsupport GreshxKiina



Looks like he's not gonna win any more races.

(Everyone in Bara Magna is gathered in a huge arena.)

Kobold: Good Morning everyone, this Kobold, and we're at the 124,567th annual race! How's it look down there Trisha?
(We cut to a female Agori, near the race track.)
Trisha: It's looking great Kobold. Everyone's ready to go, but only one will win. How do you feel about today's race, sir?
Perditus: Well, actually-
Trisha: Let's look at fore cast with Joey stingertail. How's the weather look Joey?
Zesk: IT'S HOT OUT!
Trisha: Thanks Joey. Back to you, Kobold.

(Mean while, the Vehicles are getting lined up, ready for the race. The contsents are Pertidus, Fero and Skirmix, Sahmad, Crotesius, Telluris, Scodonis, and Kirbaz.)

Crotesius: Fero! What are you doing here?!
Fero: Last minute entry. What's that Piece of garbage you're driving?
Crotesius: Berix and Tarduk "Helped". But why are you here?
Fero: I'm representing my tribe.
(He points to a row of benches filled with Bone hunters, which are holding signs such as NOCK 'EM DED FARO! and UR DA MAN!)
Crotesius: Wow, you work with some real scholors.
Fero: OH REALLY?
(He points to a bench where Berix and Tarduk are. They have painted them selves Red and Yellow, and are dancing and singing.)
Berix and Tarduk: GO CROTESIUS! GO CROTESIUS! IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY! IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!
Crotesius: Shut up.
Fero: Well, see you at the finish line, Looser.
Crotesius: Well, you better play fair. I hear Mata Nui is The Referee.
Fero: Oh, I'm shaking in my non-existant boots!

(With Sahmad.)
(Sahmad sees Berix and Tarduk cheering for Crotesius.)
Sahmad: YEAH, WELL I NEVER LIKED YOU EITHER!
(He sees Metus waving a tiny flag with his tail. The Flag says "Go Sahmad".)
Sahmad: Well, that's better.
Metus: Sahmad, Sahmad, he's the man, if he can't do it, GREAT!!!
Sahmad: YOU'RE NOT AFFILIATED WITH ME!

(Later, everyone is on the track, ready to go.)

Kobold: Contestents! On your Marks! Get Set!...........GO!!!
(All the Vehicles, (Except for the heavly modified Cendox V-1), Race out of the arena, and into the desert.)
Crotesius: NOOOOOOO!!!

(Out on the track, The Kaxium is next to the Baranus.)
Scondonis: Think you can beat us in that wooden cart of yours?
Sahmad: No, I know I can!
Kirbaz: Eat our dust!
(He hits the pedal, and accelerates forward.)
Sahmad: I hate them.

(With Perditus and Telluris.)
(Telluris nudeges the Skopio XV-1 against the Thornatus.)
Perditus: HEY!
Telluris: What'cha gonna do about it, punk?
Perditus: THIS!
(He shoots a thornax at Telluris.)
Telluris: OH, IT'S ON!
(They start trying to ram each other.)

(With Scodonis and Kirbaz.)
Scodonis and Kirbaz, singing: 'Cause we're cowboys! On the Steel horse we ride! We're wanted! Dead or Alive!
(Up on a cliff.)
Vorox: (Donkey braying noises.)
(He shoots a thornax at the Kaxium, causing it to swerve.)
Scodonis: WHOA!
(They Go off the track, and run into a boulder.)
Vorox, donkey voice: RAAAAAH! RAHRAHRAH!!!

(With Crotesius, back at the arena.)
(Crotesius has gone nuts, and is pounding the control panel, when the engines stops. There is a loud explosion, and the vehicle shoots in to the sky, and flys ahead to the lead, next to Fero. It crashes, and all the extra junk falls off, reavealing the Sparkling Cendox V-1, running at full speed.)
Crotesius: YES! WHOOHOO!
Fero: WHAT?
Crotesius: See you later!
(He zooms ahead, here the Arena is visible.)
Fero: OH NO YOU DON'T!
Skirmix: RAAARERRR!!!
(Fero thows a bottle full of liquid nitrogen, (Which is Illiegal, you know), at Crotesius.)
(In slow motion, Crotesius swerves around, and it lands in the thornax launcher at the front of the Cendox. Crotesius then shoots it at Fero.)
Fero, in slow motion: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO-(KABOOM!)
(Crotesius turns around, and crosses the finish line. The Agori start cheering.)
Kobold: CROTESIUS WINSSSS!!!
(A crowd of Agori picks up Crotesius, and hand him the giant golden Trophy.)

(Meanwhile, in the middle of the desert.)
Perditus: Whew, I'm glad that's over.
(Suddenly, Scodonis pops in through the window/cockpit, holding a thornax launcher.)
Scodonis: GET OUTTA THE (&(*&()*^ CAR, GET OUTTA THE $%^&*^% CAR RIGHT NOW MAN! WHAT YOU THINK I'M KIDDIN' GET OUTTA THE *^%&*)( CAR!!
Perditus:
(Scodonis and Kirbaz throw him out of the thornatus, get inside, and drive off.)
Kirbaz: Did we just carjack some one?
Scodonis: We sure did Kirbaz, we sure did.

Word Count: 722

Now THAT was lucky. Wait, what's the Family guy reference?!

those

This is great! I hope Fero stored his liquid Nitrogen in a safe canister! I wonder how he still has that if Sahmad retrieved all his stuff?

Oh man, this is some good stuff! That whole Bone Hunters and Race stary arc were great! Can't wait for more!

~Dramatic.Chipmunk

Ah, so funny, so funny. My favorite parts were when the contestants were talking at the starting line. I think Fero should have been the one singing "Wanted dead or alive," 'cause he really is. Keep it up!

Sincerely, X-Ray.

(Strakk is going to the shop, when he finds a beat-up looking Malum sleeping against his door.)

Strakk:
(He quickly steps over him and goes inside.)
Malum: Huh? STRAKK! LET ME IN!
Strakk: Go away Malum!
Malum: You don't understand! I've got nowhere else to go! My girlfriend dumped me! The Vorox think I'm crazy!
Strakk, loading thornax launcher: What about your cave?
Malum: I blew it up in preperation for the second core war!
Strakk: There's going to be another one?
Malum: Not anymore there's not! Listen to me Strakk, Please let me it! Tuma's comming to get me! THERE HE IS!
(He points to a sleeping scarabax.)
Strakk: Sigh, Alright, You can stay with us until you get back on your feet.
(He opens the door, and Malum scrambles in.)
Malum: Oh thank you-Oh wow....Strakk this place looks terrible, no wonder you're suicidal!
(Berix, Tarduk, Crotesius, Sahmad, and Metus come into the room.)
Berix: What's Malum doing here?
Strakk: My Brother is here to stay with us for a while. I'm sorry for the inconvinence.
(Malum starts going through everyone's shoes.)
Sahmad: He's been living in the desert for too long.

(Later, Raanu comes into the shop.)

Raanu: What's this about you harboring a criminal?
Metus, Strakk, and Sahmad:
Berix: He's Strakk's brother.
Tarduk: He's only staying for a few days.
Raanu: I don't care if he's only staying for 3 seconds! He's bad for Publicity! No one is coming to our village!
Metus: I can fix that. Jussst get me some one to write for me.
Raanu: Besides that, he keeps going through everyone's garbage!
Berix: Don't knock till you tried it.

(Later, Strakk confronts Malum.)

Strakk: Raanu said you Harpooned Ackar in the face!
Malum: Really, I think I would remeber something like that.
Strakk: And then he said you started headbutting Agori off the side of the cliff!
Malum: Wow, that sounds really horrible.
Strakk: And then you started Making out with Kiina's sculpture.
Malum: Thank Agonnance the Agori wern't here to see that.
Strakk: What's this red sticky stuff all over the floor?
Malum: Would you belive it's strawberry Milkshake?
Strakk: No.
Malum: House Nector?
Strakk: No.
Malum: Some of Agonance's tears?
Strakk: Malum, What is it?!
Malum: Oh alright. It's the lovely elderly couple from 12-b.
Strakk: MALUM!
Malum: I had to Strakk, they were taking all the cresent rolls.

Word count: 398

Isn't that from Lamas with Hats? If not, seriously funny. On second thought, it's funny regardless. Haven't read this in a while, but it's still just as funny.

~D.C

Wow man, two movie references right in a row! Seriously, this is very funny and I really like the part with Skrall*Mart and the nuke. LOL

YAY! You're alive!! Well, let's. get. QUOTING!!


Well, that reaked. Who knew he had a girlfriend??


NOO! Not the lovely elderly couple from 12-b!!

Keep it up!! Don't go dissapearing on us again OK?!