Prequel: the shadow rises by fire dawn

Plague and Ascension. 'Cuz I'm a silly banana and Zyrox is ma fanboi.
MoE, you do know you can select two RPGs, right? Right?

Went for Ascension - I've had my eye on this since even before this contest.

Also chose Confinement.

Ascension and the Plague. Whoo for RPGs I'd actually like to play!

I'm not getting my hopes up. They'll only be put to sleep in the finals. 'T'll be fun to see how high it ends though.

true, But people can't help If they have really bad grammar on the computer

Yes, that is right when I am not typing I do not make the grammar mistakes I do when I am here

That doesn't make any sense to me. How does BZP cause you to have worse grammar than normal? Do you type too fast? Does the site not let you use the shift key for some reason?

no not Bzp just typing in general

Maybe, but you don't see us doing it anymore. Just make an effort to do it and eventually it will become a habit.

SO your saying take a whole bunch of time posting, and making my entries will improve my grammar.

Are you implying that Capn is someone's mother?




That's a poor excuse. There are some people that can't help their grammar, but these people usually have bad grammar in real life as well. If you have good grammar in real life, you can put in the time and effort to write and type well on the internet.



Yep. That's exactly what I'm saying. Put effort into your writing and you will improve and you will be that more likely to win this contest.

BTW, I voted for 3 and 8.

I voted for Sets/Munki/*brain explodes*

Imply? TELLING YOU.

Yay but take in consideration, that I made this 2 months ago and I have had it ready. Then when I was making it I took it really slow and It took me about 5 days of non-stop work. Then I finished it and waited 2 months entered it in and have every one hate it except for about 5 people. So if you want to say I didn't put effort into that RPG you lie Because I put more effort into that then I have anything. Then poof it turns out it sucks on ice and every person is like you need to work harder and you need better grammar really builds down my confidence. Which makes me wonder if I should even enter ever again.

I know the above sound like I am mad but I am actually very sad about the above.

I forget how bad my first entry was, but I'm pretty sure it sounded like a bad fanfiction. And virtually no plot. Then I just kept entering and entering until I win one day. Which hasn't happened yet, but I'm looking forward to it.

Tip: You can PM people your entry for review if you think they're willing; they usually will. I got a preview of Ascension, oh, two weeks? before entry period began.

So yeah. Just keep entering and entering, and you'll get better. If something loses, it's usually better to start from scratch right then, while your ideas are fresh in your mind, and then when the next contest comes around, whip it out and read over it and put the polish on it. Also, keep notes for yourself on something like, well, Notepad. Outline your overall plot and then write up the entry around that. Works for me.

If you're working on an RPG before the contest, it's always a good idea to PM it to a couple people, be they friends or well-respected RPers or GameMasters. Then you can get some feedback in the early stages. You may not have known about the theme coming around, but that's always something to keep in mind. I also started working on my RPG right after Contest 9, and the downside to that is you don't really know what the theme will be, and then you're either forced to scrap your RPG or tack a Jim on, as Nihi has phrased it. Please don't let anyone discourage you from never entering again, instead, take their criticisms to heart so that you can develop a better entry for next time. My first entry was The Ranch for the mask search theme, and it bombed miserably. Two votes, mine and Celeste's. Then, after playing in A Hollow Cry, earning some respect, I was able to win a contest. So you see, it's all about demonstrating to potential voters that you have what it takes to lead an original and fun RPG. So my advice is to take a look at winning RPGs, see what sets them apart (be it storyline or the GM), and use what you learn to improve. Because it's a lot of trial and error here; finding out what works and what doesn't work. Though grammar isn't a major issue, people have pointed out that it gets their respect when someone uses it properly, so keep it in mind. Hope some of this helps, toa MoE.

yea, The only thing is I did send it to a couple of people they said it was great and were going to vote for it.

Were any of them RPers?

2 of them where and I am happy to say I did enter last time with the great war got 5 votes then this time I bulked up the idea and filled in the spaces. Still get 5 votes so I have not improved at all and for this one I was begging people to vote for me only 2 of which did

My first entry sucked out loud. I totally scrapped the idea and went with ACD instead

MoE, I've looked at your RPG and can honestly say it's confusing. Your lack of grammar is your biggest problem. For instance:would work better as:
Destruction has come upon the Bionicle Universe, 1800 years after the Karda Nui Saga. Now, you apparently know your grammar so I really don't see why you're posting like this. I type at a fast pace, which is why I always check over what I've typed before I post anything. It only takes a few seconds
You also give very little information about anything, you explain the Organisations in, what, one line? Use more description.
It also doesn't help that you jump around in the story. I thought you'd jumped straight into locations but it turned out you'd just put the bulk of the story after all the location descriptions. Which is odd frankly.

And by the sounds of it, you might want to choose some different people to get beforehand reviews...

okay and I will take some of your other tips as well. I guess I do type a little fast, and I never really go over it so I am going to take a little more time in my posts to add grammar.