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Steel Scales Chapter One -- First Draft


Takuma Nuva

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I have to admit, I wasn't expecting the response to be quite so . . . underwhelming.

 

Regardless, it's the responses to this entry that really matter and that also goes for the if/who/what/which Call of Evil short story should see the light of day.[/not an effective threat]

 

Here's Chapter One of Steel Scales. It's an ugly, slightly-proofread mess that includes such wonders as awkward noun usage, abhorrent dialogue tags, "telling instead of showing", and perhaps even some inconsistent standards of measurement.

 

Go forth and marvel at the beginnings of my gift to the world.

 

Or just shudder two paragraphs in and eventually run off to find an appropriate receptacle for your . . . upchuck.

Chapter one shows little of the Dragon society/culture. That'll be fleshed out in chapter two.

 

TN

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I'm not in a nitpicky review mood, but I must say that this is an excellent story. I'm mildly confused as to what the main characters are (robots? Humans with robot parts?) and how much of this world is controlled by computer, but it looks like a good SF/Fantasy blend, with a great deal of interesting questions that I want answers for. 

 

Finish it! :)

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