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I Wasn't A Bad Guy


Queen of Noise

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I wasn't a bad guy, no matter how often they said I was. No matter how often I wanted to believe I was.

 

Three weeks now? Or is it four? Weird, man.

 

Weird.

 

 

I miss it terribly but I think I know now that I don't want it back.

Not anymore. And I'm not bitter or angry. Maybe a little wiser.

 

So, the world again. Huh.

 

I'm not quite sure what to do now. It's intimidating and yeah, it's been sad, but it's exciting in a way too. Maybe there'll be some mIrAcLeS. Maybe there'll be good things. Maybe I'll make good things. Haha.

 

Pat, you were definitely right about there being no such thing as 'letting go' and 'moving on.' No burying of the memories, no exorcising parts of my past from my self. It's better to accept those things as having happened, having been real, and having been... ...special and wonderful, as often as they were nightmarish. They are experiences that contributed to my ever-growing self. It's retaining them and moving forward that is the thing, not moving on. No moping and despair, but no forgetting, either.

 

 

Pat, you are a great guy. You too, Andrew. And you, Hanni. And you too, Jen. You know you are, Bryan. And Yannick and Becca, Corey, Shane, Rob, Ray, Maddison...you're all bloody wonderful. I don't care what anyone else says about you. If they have negative opinions about you, they clearly know freaking nothing about you guys. You are twelve of the most truly fantastic persons on the face of this earth.

 

The world again. Huh.

 

It'll be really nice, with you guys by my side.

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To be completely honest, I'm not exactly sure what you're referring to here, but I'll just throw my voice in here and say all you guys are completely amazing in my opinion.

 

 

'Specially you, Smeag.

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To be completely honest, I'm not exactly sure what you're referring to here, but I'll just throw my voice in here and say all you guys are completely amazing in my opinion.

 

 

'Specially you, Smeag.

 

 

This pretty much sums up my views.

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Do all staff have emotional and extremeness vague entries?

 

I like them.

I guess we've had a weird upsurge of those in recent times haven't we?

 

-Nukaya

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Smeag, you're just an awesome, awesome person and I do hope that the world of reality turns for the better in the future.
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If I'm interpreting this right, then there's finally something we have in common...

 

So I sincerely mean it when I say I wish you the best of luck moving forward. It really is possible. Don't ever forget that.

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Despite the ups and downs we go through, both separately and together, I hope you're always my friend, man. It's good to have you among the few friends who accept every part of me, and are quick to agree-to-disagree otherwise. It's nice to be treated fairly and respected, and I strive to always return that to you. No matter if I think you're being stupid or whatever. XP Huggsssssss!

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I've met you once, and we maybe talked like...2 times last year and I reckon you another awesome person!

 

When moving forward, it's more likely to trip over your own feet then over obstacles. But time really heals a lot of things as well.

 

Gah, gotta stop writing, the silver lining is blinding.

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Despite the ups and downs we go through, both separately and together, I hope you're always my friend, man. It's good to have you among the few friends who accept every part of me, and are quick to agree-to-disagree otherwise. It's nice to be treated fairly and respected, and I strive to always return that to you. No matter if I think you're being stupid or whatever. XP Huggsssssss!

 

What she said, man. You know I've always got your back and/or front and/or side and/or top. But never again ask me to have your bottom.

 

 

Do all staff have emotional and extremeness vague entries?

 

I like them.

 

It's one of the first questions they ask before you become staff. "Can you make emotional and extremely vague blog entries?"

 

-Janus

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