I Wasn't A Bad Guy
I wasn't a bad guy, no matter how often they said I was. No matter how often I wanted to believe I was.
Three weeks now? Or is it four? Weird, man.
Weird.
I miss it terribly but I think I know now that I don't want it back.
Not anymore. And I'm not bitter or angry. Maybe a little wiser.
So, the world again. Huh.
I'm not quite sure what to do now. It's intimidating and yeah, it's been sad, but it's exciting in a way too. Maybe there'll be some mIrAcLeS. Maybe there'll be good things. Maybe I'll make good things. Haha.
Pat, you were definitely right about there being no such thing as 'letting go' and 'moving on.' No burying of the memories, no exorcising parts of my past from my self. It's better to accept those things as having happened, having been real, and having been... ...special and wonderful, as often as they were nightmarish. They are experiences that contributed to my ever-growing self. It's retaining them and moving forward that is the thing, not moving on. No moping and despair, but no forgetting, either.
Pat, you are a great guy. You too, Andrew. And you, Hanni. And you too, Jen. You know you are, Bryan. And Yannick and Becca, Corey, Shane, Rob, Ray, Maddison...you're all bloody wonderful. I don't care what anyone else says about you. If they have negative opinions about you, they clearly know freaking nothing about you guys. You are twelve of the most truly fantastic persons on the face of this earth.
The world again. Huh.
It'll be really nice, with you guys by my side.
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