Perchance you're wondering how I happened upon six-month Premier Membership. Allow me to satiate your curiosity.

My plan was a devious one. Upon seeing the LSO COT Comedies contest almost empty, I proceeded to enter perhaps the most drab, torturous piece of garbage BZPower has seen to this day under the guise of a comedy. The judges promptly heaved the title of first place onto my shoulders and made me say (I crossed my fingers) that I would never again blackmail them with such rubbish as my story, which is thirsting for reviews, by the way.

It is hardly necessary to recount my agreement of the arrangement, for here I am, sitting with the weight of a blog upon my fingers and a thousand methods of verbal torture upon my mind.

You have six months, BZPower bloggers. Be sure to count.