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The Magic of 21 (or lack thereof)


Turakii #1 Lavasurfer

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When you reach the age of 21, something magical happens.

 

It's not the first time something magical has happened. Apparently, on your 18th birthday, your chances of exercising pyromania suddenly plummeted, so you were finally allowed to purchase lighters. You also must have lost the ability to grasp simple probability, so you were allowed to purchase lottery tickets too. And being alive 18 years also gave you the right to make valid political decisions! It was a magical time of fire, useless paper, and picking future authority figures based on how cool their last names were.

 

But when you turn 21, you go through the most magical transformation of all. You finally acquire the responsibility necessary to drink that mysterious, grown-up potion known as... alcohol.

 

A whole new world of delicious, blissful flavors opens before you! You can finally pop open a can/bottle and have gorgeous models appear around you, or move backwrds in time, or become the most interesting person in the world, just like in the commercials! And bonding with friends no longer requires conversation! Somehow, just because your beverages all contain the same mysterious liquid known as "alcohol"... a true kinship is finally born.

 

Well, that's what I thought. Except nobody told me something very important about these beverages.

 

*Ahem.*

 

THEY ALL TASTE LIKE WINDEX.

 

People have certainly tried their best to convince me otherwise. And I'm sure that many drinks are very enjoyable --- if you have an unquenchable thirst for slightly more palatable cleaning fluids.

 

They've given me wine (which tastes like grape juice, if you made grape juice with mostly disinfectant instead of grapes).

 

And vodka (which tastes like it's made entirely from disinfectant).

 

And someone even bought me a shot of whiskey and said it was "the good stuff." Nope, they lied. There was absolutely no "good" involved there whatsoever. (Except maybe good for scrubbing mold off showers or something.)

 

So, overall, these magical new rights are pretty disappointing. Too bad I can't return them for something cool, like a pet unicorn or wizard powers.

 

 

Turkii

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Tends to depend on people's tastes. I've got a buddy who loves beer but hates wine. I enjoy beer, but I love wine.

 

But with everything, there's good and bad sorts. I've had convenience-store brand beer in Belgium and Australian craft. The latter is much better. Beer also has ales and lagers. Different tastes there too.

 

Wine, again, depends on the kind. I usually prefer red. Especially a merlot or cebernet. But, again, some aren't so good.

 

Liquor's the same. Not a big fan of vodka, but I like a good rum. Cheap whiskey's disgusting (best used for cooking), but good whiskey's nice. Also more than I can afford. If you like coffee I suggest Bailey's. Irish coffee. Boozey. Mixed drinks might be more up your alley too, they take out some of the bite (but make sure you get one that still has a bite too it, else where's the fun?).

 

This unsolicited alcohol advice has been brought to you by TMD. You're welcome to disregard it in favor of a pet unicorn with wizard powers.

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:kaukau: I've never drank in my life, but you actually just confirmed my suspicions. It's weird saying this, since I'm judging the taste of a liquid purely based off of how it looks (okay, and a little bit of knowledge of chemistry, and judging by how it felt when you rubbed it on cuts), but I always thought that alcohol must have tasted like Windex. My natural thought was "Who would ever want to drink that?" I still don't know why people would drink it. I've been told that it's an acquired taste.

 

In any case, the only time I was even slightly tempted was when I walked into a fridge and saw some Dos Equis. What can I say? Those advertisements are hilarious and they obviously helped boost sales for its brand. It made me more interested in Dos Equis than any other alcohol, and I suppose that if I was ever into alcohol I would go with Dos Equis. But I'm probably never going to drink alcohol. Ever.

 

Well, except for those little sips of wine during communion. I'm not sure if that even counts, though. Nobody ever answers me directly when I ask if they're giving me wine or if it's really just grape juice. Because of that, I know one thing for sure: forget alcohol - if you want to look sophisticated just poor yourself a glass of apple juice to sip from if you want to look fancy!

 

Congratulations on turning 21! I'll be caught up with you in about a year, if you would only just stay put!

 

24601

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To be fair, vodka averages around 80 proof, or 40% alcohol. So, it's actually fairly close to some disinfectants, content wise. Also, whiskey and vodka are fairly starchy beverages, since they're both made using grains, and sometimes potatoes, in vodka's case.

 

Wine's just bland, though. Don't know how they made such a good fruit into such a poor drink.

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:kaukau: To my knowledge, there are actually people who drink disinfectants as an alternative to alcohol. You know, like mouth wash and other things. Stephen King fell into that habit, actually. I think that's where I got my presuppositions from.

 

24601

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Root beer is best beer.

 

*gets chased out of town*

This.

 

I do wish to try various mixed drinks though. Also, I've been told by my friend who doesn't like a lot of alcohol that Smirnoff Ice tastes awesome. Especially mixed with (I believe) lemon-lime Faygo. =P

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My mom sometimes makes pie crust with a small amount of vodka - the alcohol pretty much cooks out and it leaves a very flaky crust.

Needless to say, when I went into the kitchen for something to drink, I was convinced that she went off her rocker and had been baking with hand sanitizer.

I'm not going near that stuff, I don't care how old I get. Anything that smells that nasty can't taste good at all.

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Also, I've been told by my friend who doesn't like a lot of alcohol that Smirnoff Ice tastes awesome. Especially mixed with (I believe) lemon-lime Faygo. =P

 

I want you to ask your friend how much their taste bud removal surgery cost.

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My parents have let me sip some stuff. Personally, I'd rather have a Dr. Pepper, but to each there own.

I could probably go my entire life without any of the stuff except maybe for cooking purposes.

 

(Yes I'm only 18, what are you going to do, sue me?)

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Yay, I'm not the only one who dislikes the taste of alcohol (and the different ways it affects you.) Although, to be fair, I also dislike carbonated beverages in general, so my options in the drinks category is limited in the first place.

 

But, to play devils advocate, how do we know that alcohol tastes like window cleaner? Alcohol was invented first, so is it by chance that they made window cleaners instead TASTE LIKE ALCOHOL?? :bigeek:

 

Yay to be 21. The next big one is 25, when they'll allow you to rent a car. Then it's the age where you're eligible for the senior discount! :D

 

:music:

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Yay, I'm not the only one who dislikes the taste of alcohol (and the different ways it affects you.) Although, to be fair, I also dislike carbonated beverages in general, so my options in the drinks category is limited in the first place.

 

But, to play devils advocate, how do we know that alcohol tastes like window cleaner? Alcohol was invented first, so is it by chance that they made window cleaners instead TASTE LIKE ALCOHOL?? :bigeek:

 

Yay to be 21. The next big one is 25, when they'll allow you to rent a car. Then it's the age where you're eligible for the senior discount! :D

 

:music:

Oh the joy of growing up... I don't even get the joy of driving...

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Drinking is fine and dandy as long as it's done responsibly and people are of age.

Pure alcohol tastes awful. Things like vodka and rum are made to be mixed with juices, sodas, and other alcohols. They are terrible on their own 99% of the time. Turakii, try some of those spirits mixed with juices, and get back to me. I don't like most liquors on their own, but a cocktail? Yes please.

Also, if you don't like the taste of alcohol, but you want to try something to see what you might like, cider is always a good one. Cider is delicious and I've never found one that has that strong alcohol taste. Apples just don't leave that flavour.

 

As for wines, I've always found that starting with a Blush is best. And just like with coffee or other things, a lot of the flavour depends on what you drink it with. A lot of drinks taste better when paired with the proper food, as complimentary or opposite flavours can bring out the proper notes in a beverage.

Alcohol doesn't taste like cleaners. :/

Unless it's Everclear or 151. Stay away.

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Root beer is best beer.

 

*gets chased out of town*

 

*walks into bar*

 

Bartender: What'll it be?

 

*lean over, pull down sunglasses and wink*

 

Me: Sassafras

 

 

*gets thrown out of bar*

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Meh, at least people got you to try.

 

They've been utterly unsuccessful with me; just don't want to bother with it ever.

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I don't know if I like the taste of alcohol. I don't even bother trying it.

It all just comes down to risk/reward for me and I don't find the potential risks worth the possible reward. Oh sure, it's perfectly safe in moderation, but why even bother starting?

I'll just stick to my sweet tea, SoBe, and the infrequent carbonated beverage.



Takuma Nuva

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Unless it's Everclear or 151. Stay away.

 

If you're going near either of these, yes you'd probably be better off drinking Windex. It'd do less liver damage.

 

*shrug* I just say ignore what everyone tries to tell you is right, and just stick to [insert Turkii-approved drinks here] instead. IMO, nobody can force you to drink anything you don't want under NORMAL circumstances (I can't promise you wouldn't be forced into drinking water if you're dehydrated. Sorry.)

 

Just my 2 widgets.

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Unless it's Everclear or 151. Stay away.

 

If you're going near either of these, yes you'd probably be better off drinking Windex. It'd do less liver damage.

 

Seeing as drinking Windex would cause severe burns to the throat, extreme stomach cramps, and the ammonia alone would basically destroy your insides and potentially cause brain damage or upright kill you, you'd be better off drinking the Everclear or 151. The worst that's going to happen with those is strep throat and throwing up if you drink it safely. Pat can vouch for this. Though, I did find a mixed drink called "Windex", but it's only because it's the same blue colour as the cleaner and hopefully not because of a similar taste or smell.

 

Ok, though alcoholic drink suggestions time! These might be ones you like, these might not, but it's really up to you and what you prefer! Also drink lots of water! A good thing is for every drink/shot you have, have at least one glass of water as well. Then you'll be hydrated and happy and less likely to be headachey later. And, of course, drink in moderation, know your limits, have people there to help you if you need it, eat food (don't drink alcohol on an empty stomach ever omg it is so awful), drink your water (I am putting this again because it is important!), and don't drink and drive not even your bike.

 

Delicious omg drinks:

 

-Cider is AMAZING. Cider is so good. Cider makes me happy and I miss it. It rarely tastes like alcohol (like, I've yet to fine one that does have an alcoholic taste to it), so it is awesome omg and it is so fruity and delicious and then they make ones that are other fruit ciders and yum yum yum.

 

-Mixed drinks! OMG MIXED DRINKS WITH A LITTLE TINY UMBRELLA THAT COMES IN YOUR DRINK IT IS SO CUTE AND DELICIOUS. Don't drink too many though because they taste so good but you can't taste the alcohol and you jsut go through them like Kool-Aid and then you end up trying to use your tiny umbrella as a cane to walk out the door and it won't work. A really good mixed drink is the Strawberry Lemon Vojito at Red Robin. That was my first official 21 drink and it was SO GOOD. I am also going to say again that the Canadian Princess drink is amazing and if you can make it it is a very good decision.

 

-I think that's about it. I think that's all you really need because it seems like you have a preference for drinks that you can't taste the alcohol in which is super normal and I am like that too.

 

Mixed results:

 

-Chocolate wine. This is one of those things that you're think "oh man it's going to be just like chocolate milk!" and then it just tastes like chocolate milk and a weird red wine. Maybe there are better ones, but maybe my mom shouldn't have bought me the cheapest one she could find for my birthday. IDK!

 

-Wine in general. Sometimes great! Sometimes awful! A good start is really light ones like blushes and white wines. Reds are kind of heavy and gross unless you have a taste for them. I still don't like darker wines. There is a wine maker called Confectioners that makes dessert-based wines, and they have one called Angel Cake that I bought on a whim because it was on sale and I thought the logo was pretty and it is so good.

 

-Soaking a watermelon with vodka. I think this was good. We made it in 2010 at BrickFair, and I remember it being pretty delicious.

 

-Jello shots. These are either really amazing delicious or like eating jiggling paint thinner fumes.

 

-Doing straight shots of vodka. The flavoured ones are a lie. You smell it and think "mmm! Raspberry/whipped cream/cake! This will be great!" and then you do the shot and are like "why no the burning why chaser drink now retweet if u crye evry tiem". Mixing them with a non-alcoholic drink is better, and it is always good to start out with a very small amount of alcohol (like a shot or half a shot) and then add your juice/pop/whatever, instead of the other way around, unless you like it that way.

 

-Alcohol that come in pouches. Not wine, but those ones that are like "strawberry lemonade! With alcohol in it! It's like a Capri Sun but for grown ups!" Some of these are amazing. Some taste like frozen paint thinner fumes mixed with lemon.

 

-Margaritas. These are either heavily mixed with something delicious or are just so gross because it's all alcohol and a teeny bit of lemon or lime.

 

-Long Island. This has so much alcohol and and so deceiving because it's still really delicious. Drink like, one and then just stop for the night or everything will be wooo girl time.

 

-Champagne. Can be good if it's a good one? Some are like, chalky. I don't know how to describe it. Sometimes buying the cheapest one is better than the $200 one. If it's not the best it's always good with orange juice. Mimosas!

 

-Beer. Beer is so weird because some are awesome to one person and just awful to another person's preference. When it comes to starting out, really light ones like blondes and hefeweizens (I love Widmer Bros. Hefeweizen) are usually better than starting with a darker beer like Guinness. Usually going for one in a bottle or on tap is better than one in a can that came in a box, but whatevs! Your choice!

 

-Martinis. It's straight liquor. I should just move this to the DON'T DRINK EVER list.

 

DON'T DRINK EVER:

 

-151 or Everclear. I haven't even tried them and am like "ummmm no." I think the "you'll get strep throat from one shot" bit alone is a giant flashing NOPE sign.

 

-Jungle Juice. Just like, ok, anything that is brewed in a trash can bag is already sketchy, and then people are like "hey, let's throw some random bits of fruit and whatever alcohol we have in here and let it marinate for three days" and you're like "I think I'd rather not....?" My brother likes it but my brother is silly sometimes.

 

-PBR. I once saw one of their trucks with a "voted best beer in 1890something" and was like "ok, if this is the best you guys can do, why are you still here". It's just kind of gross. My brother also claims to like it but he is a LIAR.

 

-Natural Ice. I've heard it's awful. I googled it and half the images were men who had attempted to make Natural Ice box armor in a drunken rage.

 

-Tequila shots. Why. Whyyyyyyy. Someone must like them out there. They make me want to punch kittens.

 

-Pendleton. I HATE PENDLETON WHISKEY. I HATE PENDLETON IN GENERAL AS A TOWN AND THEN THEY MADE A WHISKEY AND NOW I HATE THEM EVEN MORE IT'S SO GROSS.

 

-Whiskey. Canada likes it....? I think?

 

-Light beers. They really don't taste like anything but regret.

 

I can't think of anything else right now beyond sometimes buying cheap alcohol at discount works out really well because if you buy it for five bucks and it's eh, then you only lost five dollars, but if it's awesome, then hey! awesome cheap five dollar alcohol! Also buying alcohol because it has a pretty label works out really well sometimes. I once bought a wine because it had a cute rabbit logo on the cork and I wanted it and then it was delicious as well, so win-win!

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Well, except for those little sips of wine during communion. I'm not sure if that even counts, though. Nobody ever answers me directly when I ask if they're giving me wine or if it's really just grape juice. Because of that, I know one thing for sure: forget alcohol - if you want to look sophisticated just poor yourself a glass of apple juice to sip from if you want to look fancy!

 

24601

 

That's my only experience with wine as well. Except that at my church I know it's real red wine, and because of it I'm looking forward to having a larger taste or red wine when I come of age.

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There's no more of an inherent problem in alcohol than there is in caffeine. Both are drugs; one's an upper and the other is a downer. To rail against alcohol because it affects your body chemistry is asinine. Everything you ingest does. Just be responsible and moderate, like you should be with everything else you put in your body.

That doesn't mean everyone likes it necessarily, and that's fine, but too many non-drinkers have an unfounded superiority complex over those who do drink, and that's absurd. I don't drink soda. Does that make me better than others? I like to slam shots of jägermeister or some neat scotch whisky sometimes. Does that make me better than others? It's a non-issue, people.

Turakii, from what you've said here, I'd definitely recommend going by Nukaya's list here. She knows what she's talking about and it definitely sounds like you'd prefer fruitier, colourful cocktails - things based around schnapps and the like. It sounds like you've been making the mistake of trying liquors straight instead of mixing them. Certainly some of us do enjoy straight liquor (I know I do - I don't feel a burn anymore from whiskey or rum or good vodka), but most people don't. Things like vodka and rum are generally for mixing. Basically y'all are doing it wrong, people. :P

 

I wonder if I have any plum wine left...

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