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Learning experiences


Necro

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It has always amazed me that the fear of being wrong for some people is greater than the desire to learn. So many of us are so afraid of having to say "You're right" that not only do we refuse to accept it when we're proven wrong, we will outright ignore and berate anyone who doesn't agree with us simply so we can avoid any possibility of being proven wrong.

 

I love being proven wrong, because it means I'm being given a better understanding of how things actually are, and something I believed that was false is no longer something I believe. That doesn't mean I won't defend what I believe, or that I'll listen to anyone that just goes "You're wrong because dumb", but I love being proven wrong because it means that I'm learning something new.

 

I'm not advocating accepting things that lack proof - I'm trying to emphasize the "proven" part of "proven wrong" because if someone is not providing proof for their argument I see no reason to accept their word over my own - but if someone provides you something that proves they're right and you're not, it boggles my mind that people would rather lie to themselves and continue to believe a lie than accept reality.

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I don't know about anyone else, but when I was younger, I got basically called a genius a lot? And this happened enough that I could feel the shock when I said things that were wrong. And now it's like, I'm so scared of people thinking I'm a moron that I try and avoid talking about things if I'm not confident I'm right.

 

idk im not making my point good its 9 am and i dont usually get up before 11

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I hear you, man. I have a couple theories on why.


1) Sometimes people approach debates just to validate their own opinions, instead of actively seeking what is true. This is not the same as proposing a theory, but they want their opinion on that theory: "this theory is true" "this theory is false" validated by other people. This is because, deep down, they are uncertain about whether their opinion is true, but they want it to be true so much that they will ignore everything to the contrary.


Truth is dang painful, especially when you have an emotional stake in it. But no amount of my (or yours, or anyone's) emotions will change the truth. Period.


2) Having uncertainty about the major truths of life can cause people to have emotional stakes in trivial items. This is because, when you're uncertain about anything, the amount of confidence in your thinking about the uncertainty (which is huge, major, not going away) depends on the validation of the accuracy of your thinking at any given moment. This means that being uncertain - not being sure - of the major truths of life - causes you to seek validation that you are still thinking correctly, because whether or not that big thing you want to be true is true depends on your thinking about it, because only your thinking and reasoning about it makes it true! And if you're not thinking correctly about this tiny little minor thing, could you be wrong about this huge major thing too? Ooo...scary. Terrors! Quick...I'm not wrong about this tiny little thing because...


On the other hand, if the opposite is true, that you are absolutely certain of the answers to life's major questions (Why do I exist? Where do I come from? etc), and that certainty comes from something greater than yourself (logic, perhaps), then you will let the little things that you are wrong about pass. They are learning expieriances - the little debates don't change the big things because you know what they are, and being wrong about this little thing isn't going to change who you are, or how right you are about the big things, because you know you are right about that. Period.


I could go on and on about that, but I think I've either accomplished my goal or confused the living daylights out of you all by now.

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For people who otherwise have very little self esteem, I think many often put a lot of their personal value and identity into their intelligence. Unfortunately that becomes an ego based around what they 'know', and for that to get torn down is harder for them to accept.

 

But in general I think most people just resist change, including change of mind.

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