"What did the triangle say to the circle?"

"You're so pointless."

My UPS driver told me that one. Cracked me up.

So I walk up to my friend and he's eating a sandwich, and I ask him what kind of sandwich it is. He tells me that it's ham and cheese on ciabatta bread.

So I say, "Come on, man, ciabatta be kidding me!"

I still tell him this joke regardless of what he's doing/eating. He might hate me now.

I remember this time that Deevs was TRYNA learn martial arts. We RODE down to the local dojo in relative silence, until I questioned his motives.

"Why do you want to learn martial arts?" I asked. "Such a sport can be rather PAKARIous."

"IDEN know," he responded. "Maybe I was inspired by the village ELDA where I grew up. Sweet, old guy. His name was MacDonald and he had a lovely wife named Isabelle, but mostly we just called them OL' MAK and OL' ISI."

When we arrived at the local dojo, it was incredibly run-down. "GALI," I exclaimed and I let out a whistle.

"My thought's precisely," Deevs responded. "Let's move ONUA better place."

As we began heading for the next town over, I inquired further. "Do you have any particular applications of such skills and knowledge in mind? Self-defence? Vigilantism?"

Deevs shook his head. "Nah, I'll just try to DUME job, whatever that job may be."

"Well I must say I admire you," I responded. "ZYGLAK the motivation to try it myself."

Okay, okay, okay, I'm done. I'd better stop before I lose myself to "Faxon, Faxoff".

Besides, the puns are now diamonds.

AMANA VOLO SPHERE.

*old-spice jingle*

Tahu's mask? Meh. He's the hottest set, by far, but Kopaka looks a lot cooler. Pohatu's build is as solid as a rock, and Gali's design flows well, but Onua makes me wonder what on earth LEGO was thinking. As well, Lewa looks nice, but who's the airhead who decided to change his element?

*Snaps fingers*

You ought to give a fifth mask for the WORST pun.

Anyway, no point racking my brain for good puns. My brother and I already have four masks from NYCC, and getting a fifth one while others do without any wouldn't be Fire.

EDIT: Two tongue smileys in as many paragraphs? I should be ashamed.

This was the best idea OMG.

What is the difference between a joke and a rhetorical question?

Why do we use the term "adopted" when we can use the synonym "transparent"?

So, wait, let me make this clear: You're going to give masks out. Ta who? Hau? What constitutes a good pun?

I can't believe Takuma would rob Janus of a good martial arts pun.

This is a pretty exciting idea even if I Cananot enter.

Win or lose, I just want to say how thrilled I am to see a pun contest.  People don’t respect puns these days—whenever I make one everyone always says things like “How Kanohi say that?” or “Onua don’t think so”.  Between this and classmates getting angry when I tell them there’s Nokama in their stories, I’ve been feeling a little bummed lately.  I can tell myself Pridak comes before the fall, but it’s little comfort, and sometimes I honestly feel like I’m about to Pewku from my skill being so underappreciated.  Are puns moving towards an inevitable Dume, I wonder?  Can’t a guy just Krekka joke without people putting the Brakas on my fun?  It’s Reidakulous!

So, from one pun-lover Toa nother, thank you.  Hakann’t express how inspiring this is, and I now have a Nuhrii-spect for you.  You Bohrok!

Here's a few from a discussion between me and some med buddies. Context: Ari suggested including a certain cheese in a recipe.

Zox: I dunno, might be gouda. Or it might make you feel bleu

Kimi: Wow Zox... Just wow.

Heather: A double pun is pretty daring.

Stephen: *slow clap* well done sir

Sarah: Good... God

Zox: Why thank you!

Jared: It was a pretty grate joke. Quite brie-lliant

Kimi: I find this all very cheesy.

Heather: Ari what have you done?

Dug: No more cheese puns or you are all fired *is just upset he can't think of any*

Heather: lol you just have dad jokes now

Stephen: Dug, don't be a muenster

Dug: Hahaha

Kimi: Aww but you can't fire me! Don't be sad because you are lactose intolerant

Jared: Dug, it's 2014. You need to be accepting of all lifestyles

Heather: Is punning a lifestyle?

Dug: More like a subculture

Zox: Of course. It gets a lot of punishment, though.

Jared: #punlyfe4lyfe

Zox: People get easily feta-p with it

 

--next day--

 

Dante: Maybe I should spend some cheddar and get [insert medic related stuff here]. But maybe its too late to milk a bad cheese pun?

Zox: I don't think time should ever get in the whey of a good pun

Dante: Don't skim on the ideas there Zox

Stephen: Rye-t?

Zox: Oh cheeses, bread puns? We're all toast

Dante: Its the rise of a whole new series of puns

Dug: For crying oat loud, the puns!

Zox: Maybe we knead to stop punishing Dug... Or maybe these crumb-y puns should just keep rolling!

So my good friend Macku was going to this dance. It was full of music and wonderful atmosphere. A lot of matoran were paired up dancing while others were lounging to the side in chairs and you would also see small groups that had likely gone stag.

All was well and good, except for the fact Nixie had long wanted to ask out Hafu. She had been too busy with her astronomy, and ironically spending her afternoons playing DDR. Now Hafu wasn't the easiest matoran to approach, as his odd sort of charisma attracted a large crowd.

So, Macku set a plan in motion. She gave instructions to Whenua, the chaperone who was sporting a rather dashing bowtie. Long story short, the lights mysteriously shut off, and both Hafu and Nixie could feel someone pulling them forward through the crowd until eventually the hands on their wrists mysteriously vanished. Afraid to stumble around in the dark, both waited while many complaints and whispers could be heard from the other party goers.

When the lights finally turned back on, both Hafu and Nixie met each other's gaze, mask to mask. They ended up dancing the night away, chatting and laughing. It was perhaps early to get too excited about this pair, however Macku was sure this night would be one to remember, even if just for a fun story to tell sometime down the road.

Now, Macku could have been more direct with helping her friends, and it's true it could have been less of a hassle. However, for some reason she couldn't quite explain, she felt the need to masquerade.

Man, this has clearly gotten out of hand. I have to shield my eyes from these puns.
 

I'll just leave this here.

I can't believe Takuma would rob Janus of a good martial arts pun.

Guess he was ninja'd.

Why is Pohatu a boy?

Because if he were a girl, he'd be a rock-she (Rahkshi).

I'm ineligible to win anyway

eventually i hope to one day become a trans parent
 
get it get it
 
im not entering i just wanted to say something <3

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

Man, there are some great puns here. I don't envy you the task of deeveeing out the prize.

-Tyler

What do you call a mask floating on water? A canoe-he (Kanohi).

Man, people are really getting these puns down Pat.

Man, people are really getting these puns down Pat.

Not to deeveeate but I'm not very clear on this one, are you being patronizing?