Jump to content
  • entries
    352
  • comments
    2,636
  • views
    148,931

If I had a million dollars...


SPIRIT

1,043 views

 Share

SPIRIT: Excuse me, sir. How much did you pay for that fedora?

 

Person: Why, I paid twenty dollars for it. Why do you ask?

 

SPIRIT: *takes fedora and throws it in the nearest waste receptacle* Here's twenty bucks. Buy yourself LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE.

 

 

I think for the most part we've managed to quell the fedora outbreak, but there are still a few stragglers out there who need to be dealt with before we're safe altogether.

 

While I'm raising funds for this project, I'm also taking ideas on how to tackle the Man-Bun and Coif epidemics. Suggestions are appreciated.

  • Upvote 12
 Share

23 Comments


Recommended Comments

Hey, a fedora is a perfectly fine hat. It's also a hat meant to be worn, y'know, with a certain amount of "well dressed"-ness about your person....like a suit...or blazer...or a sport coat... Unless you're Indiana Jones, but even then he wasn't wearing his with a t-shirt and raggedy jeans.

 

Also, apparently a lot of those in-classy people wearing "fedoras" are actually wearing trilbies.

  • Upvote 5
Link to comment

If I had a million dollars, I would buy an island, specifically Australia and destroy all spiders, snakes and things that can kill me from it and keep all of those glorious accents around. Only problem is, even with a million dollars, I'll still have an economy down under...

 

-Rez

  • Upvote 2
Link to comment
You're all dead to me.

 

If I had a million dollars, YOU would be dead FOR me =)

 

But you're the one who had the hypothetical million dollars first, so maybe instead it will indeed be I who will be dead... Welp, I shall await. My assassin with a gift of sweet iced tea.

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment

If I had a million dollars, I would buy an island, specifically Australia and destroy all spiders, snakes and things that can kill me from it and keep all of those glorious accents around. Only problem is, even with a million dollars, I'll still have an economy down under...

 

-Rez

 

I think you've overestimated what a million dollars can get you there. 

  • Upvote 2
Link to comment

If I had a million dollars, I'd withdraw a million $1 bills and put them in an empty swimming pool so I could swim in cash.

  • Upvote 2
Link to comment

 

If I had a million dollars, I would buy an island, specifically Australia and destroy all spiders, snakes and things that can kill me from it and keep all of those glorious accents around. Only problem is, even with a million dollars, I'll still have an economy down under...

 

-Rez

 

I think you've overestimated what a million dollars can get you there. 

 

 

I think you've missed the bolded section. :P

 

-Rez

Link to comment

If I had a million dollars I'd take it to the currency exchange and exchange it for the equivalent in pounds because dollars are useless where I live.

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment

If I had a million dollars I'd take it to the currency exchange and exchange it for the equivalent in pounds because dollars are useless where I live.

If I had 1 million dollars worth of pounds, I'd need to go on a serious diet.
  • Upvote 6
Link to comment

If I had a million dollars, I'd move to the desert and read a bunch of investment books to keep me from having to hire a hedge fund manager. 

Link to comment

 

If I had a million dollars I'd take it to the currency exchange and exchange it for the equivalent in pounds because dollars are useless where I live.

If I had 1 million dollars worth of pounds, I'd need to go on a serious diet.

 

 

Not those kinds of pounds. The round, shiny kind, the ones called Great British Pounds, and no, it's not what you think, it's a currency.

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment

So if I where to obtain a million dollars worth of fedoras, you would throw them all away and give me a million dollars?

 

Anybody want to donate to my "Buy a million dollars worth of fedoras" fund?

 

This plan is absolutely foolproof.

  • Upvote 3
Link to comment

If I had a million dollars . . .

 

I don't know what I'd do, because I'd have to calculate my taxes first, and that's not worth doing for hypothetical money.

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment

If I had a million dollars, I'd partially invest in a diversified portfolio of opportunities and bank the rest in an attempt to ensure I can pay off my student loans one day.

Link to comment
Guest
Add a comment...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...