This morning I woke up and groggily pushed myself to sitting position. I pried open my eyes just in time to see a UFO fly up to my window, pull Fuzzy McMeep into the ship with a teleportation beam, and fly off. I ran to the window and attempted to jump out and fly after it, but bonked my nose against the glass and fell to the carpet.
I stumbled downstairs, muttering about rude aliens and stupid windows, and poured myself a bowl of Rice Squares cereal. Lifting my spoon, I stared deeply into its square-shaped depths, then opened my mouth to eat it.
Unfortunately, a pirate ship crashed through the wall at that moment, spilling my cereal and throwing splinters all over me. Needless to say, none of my family was very happy about that. It isn't often a pirate ship crashes through our wall, and certainly not at breakfast.
I stomped to the gangblank and banged on it. It abruptly dropped into a lowered position, just missing my shoulder, and a red carpet rolled down it. I crawled out from under it and looked up to see a short man in blue, holding a telescope.
"Aho!" he cried. "I hear kids hereabouts have been eating Captain Crunch beneath the stern glare of a harsh karate teacher!"
"Um..." I rubbed the back of my head. "I think you've got the wrong house. You might want to try the one three houses down." I pointed.
"Ahar! Thanks, matey!" The Captain climbed back aboard, pulled the gangplank back up, and smashed his ship through our house until he came out on the opposite side. He continued his merry journey, dropping wreckage from our house behind him as he went.
After wondering whether I should see if our insurance covered cereal mascots, I reached for another bowl and poured some more rice squares. I was just hungrily stabbing my spoon into it when a pair of eyes looked up at me out of my bowl.
"Hi!" they said. "Could you---"
I never got the chance to hear its request, because I fell off my chair and fainted dead away.
When I woke up twenty minutes later, my bowl was gone, as well as my chair, my sisters, and half the dining room table.
Bemoaning the loss of my cereal, I gave up on breakfast and crawled upstairs to go back to bed. I threw open the bedroom door and found myself face-to-face with another alien. By then, I had had quite enough with unexpected visitors, so I bopped him with a plushie and stuffed him in my sock drawer.
Then I took a two-hour nap and woke up to find the world at peace.
P.S. Well... I did take the two-hour nap...
P.S.S. Who, me? Bored?