Every Christmas, treasured TV programs show up on the television screen, ready to be watched by children and parents alike who are eager to get into the Christmas spirit with a good, rousing half hour of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer."

But there is one program about which there has been much controversy, and now, we're afraid, we may have proof that it is in fact a bad influence on kids.

First off, there's the well-known theme song, which as everyone knows, begins with a bit of history before going on to explain that "Frosty the Snowman was a jolly, happy soul." Although it is no doubt famous, is it really just a harmless jingle having nothing but a positive effect on minds, or is it wilting creativity and stunting growth? How can a song about a snowman marching into town and holding cleaning appliances possibly assist kids in their life goals?

Second, it has been recently revealed that Mr. Snowman was the owner of a corncob pipe. Obviously, he had no idea how dangerous smoking can be for your health, and especially for a snowman's health. All he needs to do is hold it in his mouth a few moments too long, and poof! His head is gone!

Furthermore, he had eyes made out of coal, and yet he was walking around with a pipe! He could have gone up in flames at any moment! Not only that, but he could have taken the whole town with him! (This is often referred to as "Spontaneous Snowman Combustion," which is the reason snowmen were outlawed in several countries.)

As for the button nose... well, who knows what the button did? It could have been the "Nuclear Explosion Button" or the "Ninja Attack Button"! Those kids put themselves into horrible danger when they installed such a deadly button, and they're just lucky they all escaped with their limbs intact!

Aside from his possibly explosive nature, Frosty became still more frightening when, after having a hat placed on his head, he jumped up and began to dance a happy jig. Wouldn't you be frightened if you put a hat on, say, a coat rack, and it immediately tried to entertain you?

Nobody can blame that police officer for attempting to halt the snowman's parade throughout town--- he was merely trying to protect his citizens from a rather friendly but danger-ignorant snowman.

Turakii

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