So, I got the expander in yesterday. Ready for a pronoun-confusing explanation?
The expander is this metal, square thing which is up at the roof of my mouth. It's prevented from falling out by four metal... poles?... that are attached to metal rings on four of my back teeth.
In case you've always wondered what an expander feels like, try putting a finger in the top of your mouth and walking around like that. Then say hello to someone. And then maybe try to eat a cookie.
The expander is very similiar to that, except you don't look quite so goofy and your hand feels no pain when you eat.
Eating is quite interesting, especially when you want to suck on something (such as a cookie). When you do that, normally, you're mostly crushing the food between your tongue and the roof of your mouth. However, that turns out far different when you have a metal thing that's not quite flush against the top of your mouth. Trying to suck on something is a guaranteed way to jam as much food as possible into it. It's fun.
Also, the metal rings on my teeth, being dark-colored metal, make me look like a silver-toothed pirate at best (too bad the rings don't come in gold) and like I'm missing several teeth at worst, depending on the lighting. Only when I smile, though.
I don't especially feel like smiling, so I guess that won't be much of a problem. See, the metal rings have these small, sharp things on front (which I think are hooks), and they're meant for attaching the braces onto. However, since I have no braces, those nice, sharp metal things are happily injuring the insides of my cheeks. So smiling is very interesting. And lip-synching.
Ooh! Tightening! Can't forget that! So, every day, I lay on the couch with my mouth open while my dad sticks this thin wire into a hole in the metal square and then turns it. My teeth feel funny afterwards. Sort of like something's pushing on them. Which something is.
I'm still happy about having a fullmetal mouth, I just wish it weren't so painful...