You're Only Right If I Agree With It
Opinions are like noses. Everyone has one, but just because someone's is different than yours doesn't mean there's something wrong with it.
Our opinions are one of the things we treasure most. Probably because they're pretty much what forms us... if we didn't think anything about anything or anyone, things would be pretty bland. Though on the plus side, since no one would like or dislike, the human race could eat dirt. Think of all the time we'd save not having to cook! We could just run out in the backyard and munch on a big handful of mud! Although a lot of professional chefs might be a little irritated with their sudden lack of a job...
...Wait, where was I going with this?
There's a difference between someone saying, "Ugh, I hated that movie... the plot dragged on longer than the time spent in the doctor's waiting room and all the characters sounded like Mickey Mouse speaking Arabic," and "Ugh, your nose is so ugly and it looks like a dead mushroom."
It can be really hard to answer, though (the former, that is -- we won't even go into the nose statement). When you personally adored that movie and thought the Mickey Mouse voices added great depth to the character development, it's easy to take that statement as an attack on your likes and dislikes and possibly your development as a human being.
So one thing that I wonder when that happens is, "Wait, why would you make a statement like that? You should have worded it more nicely!" And, as you will see in many cases all over the internet, the first reaction is to shake that in their face, inform them where they're wrong (because it's impossible for the plot to be too long if you think it's perfect!), and march off the battlefield, leaving them as a defeated shell of a being in the smoldering wreckage.
And then the other person's all, "Dude, what's your problem!? It's not my fault if you take offense at my 'rudeness'! And you know what, only a person with a bowl of rice for a brain would like that stupid movie! There!"
But -- what!? How could they say that!? You need to show them the error of their ways before it's too late and they're condemned forever to a death of eternal doom! But they refuse to accept what you offer! And then you know there's nothing left to do but pull out the guns...
"Yeah, well your mother's so deserving of derogatory comments that oranges laugh! And she wears army boots!"
"But your mother's going to bald more in her old age! Oh, and your uncle eats napkins!"
...
And all of this (well, most of it) can be avoided by controlling the only person you will ever really be able to control. All you have to do (if you say anything at all -- not replying is an option (although that's hard to remember D=)) is state your opinion with just a little bit of wording changed.
"Movie critics all over the world agree with me! Just read this site and this site, and you're insensitive and Mickey Mouse hates you too!"
Versus...
"I personally thought the voices added a lot to the characters. I guess they can grate on the ears, but I thought regular adult voices might have clashed with the smiling lollipops flying in the background and the Happy Healthy Hippo's theme song."
Taking a moment to consider what the person said... actually addressing them... and being sure to make it clear that this is what you think and you are not stating it as fact. Even if that's not the courtesy they gave you, you can win respect from them by giving them attention, not taking offense easily, and considering that what they're saying could in fact be true.
And even if you don't win respect or friendship, you can walk away knowing that no "your mama >=O" fights will be initiated in your territory today.
...
Opinions are like noses... but unlike noses, your opinion can be (inexpensively!) altered/reworded.
Also, this entry isn't directed at anyone in particular except myself. I don't know about you, but when I find myself or one of my alternate personalities getting out of hand, nothing works better than a nice blog entry scolding to bring me into line. I'm already cowering in a corner begging me for forgiveness!
Turakii
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