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Kothra

Posted

Also everyone who reads this just read Twilight dang it. D:

Chols

Posted

Also everyone who reads this just read Twilight dang it. D:

I would put a picture of Edward making the troll face here but I don't have a pic of that.

-Bionicleman-

Posted

Thank you thank you.

 

But really, sexy dark blue? PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT.

 

Anyways, if you want an explanation for why that is terrible writing, read on.

 

First of all, even if the only writing class you've taken was in fifth grade, you know that having each sentence structured "subject-verb" is a bad thing. Unfortunately, all of these are subject-verb sentences, which makes reading it very stunted. Second, this paragraph describes a whole lot about Bella's current situation, but in the end these descriptions are really unnecessary. Do we really care what the exact temperature of Phoenix is, the material of her shirt, or her cary-on item? I haven't read much past this, but something tells me these details aren't very important later. I do think descriptions are important, as they put you in the situation. However, to describe every minute detail pretty much pushes people away from the story, not attracts that to it. Unless, of course, you're the target audience of this book, female teenagers who need to know everything about what a person is wearing.

 

As for why I spend this much time analyzing a paragraph of Twilight? :P Well, I consider half of my life's mission to destroy the popularity of Twilight, not only because I think the writing isn't very good, but because of the message it sends to girls. The other half? Sitting down and watching TV with a piece of pizza. Actually, that sounds like a good idea now that I think about it...

 

*calls Papa John's*

Waffles

Posted

edwardcullen.jpg

This aint no text-only comment.

Bambi

Posted

Twilight is the worst thing that happened to the world beside Justin Bieber. :plain:

Blessed Blade

Posted

xD

 

... *Realizes what it means* >_< Dangit and you trolling us Cholie. =P </jk>

Ace Rimmer

Posted

Ah, yes, twilight. A book with a horrible introduction that draws readers in an i have yet to know why. I COULD MAKE THAT BETTER AND I AM A FREAKING 7TH GRADER.

 

ohwait-I'll ruin twilight for twilight fans.

 

HELLO BLADE.

Waffles

Posted

Ah, yes, twilight. A book with a horrible introduction that draws readers in an i have yet to know why. I COULD MAKE THAT BETTER AND I AM A FREAKING 7TH GRADER.

 

ohwait-I'll ruin twilight for twilight fans.

 

HELLO BLADE.

At first grade I could do better.

I was behind in first grade.

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