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Melancholy

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Nikira

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Life is hard sometimes.

 

Sometimes life just means you give things up.

 

And no one really enjoys giving things up.

 

-----

 

It's been raining like nuts today. It's really bitter and cold, and there is so much flooding.

 

My sister and her beau came back from school to visit for break. I'm a little bitter that I have to give up my bedroom, but it's only for a week. Hopefully the sunshine will come back soon so I can go on walks and go play around in the park with my brother. The next week is just taking care of the house and lots of cleaning up after the college kids. It sucks.... but I will find time for fun. :)

 

Looking at a couple jobs right now - one's on another website as a site artist and I'm also looking at part-time with a deli near where my father works. It's not much, but it's work, and I haven't had work in a long time.

 

Anyways, have to get back to work - cleaning up the room right now.

 

Question for you all: Is there anything you've had to give up? Temporarily, permanently, chasing a wild thought or planted with firm conviction that it's what you needed? I'd like to hear what people have gone through - life is melancholy for me right now.

 

-Nikira

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Giving things up, you say? I could write the book on it. Chapter 1: Getting into a car accident and breaking your leg right before you start work at a summer camp in just about the best position ever.

 

At the time, I was devastated. Everything I had been hoping for, working for, planning for... all gone in the blink of an eye. Independence, dream job, ability to walk -- bye bye. And yet, all was not lost. Things didn't go exactly as planned, but they turned out great just the same, just a different kind of great.

 

I only realized this in hindsight, though. Throughout the recovery process, I was very angry, defeated, frustrated, disappointed, and a whole bunch of other negative emotions. Most days I put on a brave face and made as though I was making the best of it, but there were times where it was a bit overwhelming. There were times I was wishing I could just magically fix it all, trapped living too much in the past and not looking to the present and the future. There were times I would lash out at people out of my frustration, even when they had done nothing wrong. It was a dark place, to be sure, but I ultimately knew that nothing is forever; there's always a light at the end of the tunnel. So I pressed on slowly recovering day by day and here I am, fit as a fiddle.

 

So yeah, giving up things hurts. But if you don't let it consume you, don't let it define you, and press onward, you'll reach better times soon enough.

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ive had to give up on a lot of stuff, but its mostly been that ive had no choice, so 'lost' is a better word. i dont like to divulge in it anymore.

 

*hug* i really need to send that package to you...

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