Hey, you! You there! You lazy ne'er-do-well sitting there on your rear and staring blankly at this post!
If you're reading this, you are the Chosen One, destined by destiny itself to disdain your former life of folly and pointlessness, to sign up now, and to enter this legendary battle between Good and Evil! Between the Shadow Lords of Chaos and our Valorous Village, where every blade is needful and every soul is imperiled!
The fate of the entire universe itself rests in your hands, stranger, at your keyboard! WE NEED YOU... TO JOIN MAFIA XI!
There. My bit of advertising.