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I Feel Like Speaking, Part 1: The Ballad of Fabulous Jimmy and Barry O.


shadow pridak money gang

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I feel like people don't introduce themselves enough before posts like this, and it makes people think that they're somehow just crusading machines, desperate to spew social justice on people who just want to live their lives without being looked down on their beliefs, and I'm totally okay with that, so before we get started, hiya. I'm Ty. A bunch of you guys may know me because I'm a compulsive RPer in the BZPRPG and OTC. Some more still know me because I have a Tumblr I use like once a month (haha jk no one knows me on tumblr) A bunch of my friends know me because I'm a very pretty young man. Some of you don't know me at all, and that's totally okay.

 

Thing is, I have a little bit of an anger problem. It doesn't come out often but, as anyone close to me will tell you, when I smell blood in the water, a different Tyler is born. I get volatile. I curse frequently. I throw statistics and papers like a baby flinging spaghetti bombs in Olive Garden and I won't let you breathe long enough to so much as mount an argument around them. Why not?

 

Because I was born and raised in an environment that has allowed me the unique perspective of knowing what fights are worth fighting, and knowing people based off merit. I am a cancer survivor. My father was emotionally and occasionally physically abusive - and not in that copout way you use to get numbers at speed dates. I am bisexual, and I realized it partially because of this website - there's a straight guy on this forum (h i y a a a r o n) who I jokingly called my first love until sometimes I questioned whether I was really joking or not anymore. I was in Ambage for a year and a half, and I made many conservative friends. Their beliefs all made me incredibly uncomfortable. They have made me incredibly angry, make no mistake. You wouldn't know it by talking to me. I have an encyclopedia of pop culture references in my head and I'm the king of Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon. I play Cards Against Humanity with friends on the weekends. I tip waitresses 20%, I can flirt with my eyebrows, I spend ridiculous time on my quiff, Arrested Development is my anti-drug, and I put on my skinny jeans one leg at a time just like anyone else. But make no mistake. I am furious.

 

People don't want me to be, and I can understand it - I was affectionately given the moniker 'The Oakland Mafia' by a BZP member I highly respect not too long ago, and I'm okay with that. People vanish from their keyboards when I challenge them on a point, and I'm okay with that. I've seen a couple people on this website use the defense that their beliefs are a product of their environment. And that's okay, actually - I'm completely cool with that. Because I am a product of my environment, too, and my environment has made me mad as ######.

 

I'm mad now. Didn't mean to get mad, but I'm mad now. It all started with this, in Fishers' latest blog entry, My lecture for the night:

For example, before our current president, I would have made any president in a fictional story a white male unless I had a specific reason not to. If making the president a black women would add something tangible to the narrative, be it amusement, intrigue, drama or whatever, then of course I would give him those attributes. Otherwise, my natural preference is to make him standard in ways that audiences would expect. You can consider this a difference in tastes, but I usually build stories from the ground up, changing only one or two things in reality to make it my own universe but then discovering where the story naturally flows from there.

I wouldn't really call it taste, I would just call it bigoted.

-Tyler

Oh please. We were having a polite discussion until now. But perhaps I made myself unclear. In reality I hold no preference as to race, gender, etc. in the presidency. And actually, if I was to make a story in the future, I would probably make a woman president just to spice things up. But if I was to write a fictional story set in our current time (and I added the qualifier, before our current president), then I would have had a white male president. This is NOT because I prefer white males in the presidency, but because fiction that I read and write tends to mirror reality in all things but specific things with a purpose. It's basically a desire to suspend the reader's disbelief about even the smallest details (and I do believe that race or gender is a very small detail in the president considering that it should impact none of his decisions or actions). I did not intend to offend anyone in any way and I will give you the benefit of doubt since I probably did not make myself clear.

 

Make no mistake, Roablin (and I plan on posting a link to this in the blog entry in question, because if there's one thing I have never done it's talk behind someone's back without the intention to shoot straight and say it aloud) I don't think you meant to offend anyone here. Your comments are innocuous enough; you looked at the status quo and followed suit, and I don't feel a thing against you specifically for it. Honest. I harbor anger, but not grudges. There's an innate difference in my mind; the worst thing I could do is delete you entirely from my memory banks and worldview, which I believe only serves to worsen the matter. So this is nothing against you personally. This is against what you're defending - a culture and environment that shapes negative worldviews in subtle, clever little ways in people who would otherwise totally be able to see what HH, DeeVee, Makaru (and other people who are totally quicker on the draw and smarter than me) fight for regularly, because while you yourself may not intend to cause harm, your beliefs certainly do.

 

Remember what I said - I'm mad as can be, but I don't want to pummel you. I want to inform you, in frank terms, yeah, but terms that I would use and have used on several close friends before. It's what I would tell anyone.

 

First off, I know this term is beaten to death, but I think it needs to be said over and over and over, not so it annoys you but because of the simple fact that people don't like to talk about: you can beat a million terms into the sands of time, but it rarely means you can beat down the system itself. What you are defending from your past writings is a patriarchy. The very notion that you used solely white males (presumably straight) males when until 2008 with the election of Barack Obama, we had nothing but cisgendered white men with heterosexual tendencies (with one notable exception; James Buchanan, people, look it up!) does nothing but indulge a status quo that is corrupt and derogatory to the core, and even dangerous; sexual and racial minorities are at greater risk of suicide, homicide, harassment, and incarceration by broken systems and broken social codes, and it is our job as a generation to begin to turn the tide. In 2008, we elected Barack Obama as U.S. President - and honestly, I think it's great that changed your worldview! It was meant to! For a country to, just a century and a half ago, go from human slavery to electing a biracial President is a huge accomplishment, and I'm really glad that it affected you. But that's just a baby step - it's only a start. You have to realize that the unspoken social rules that kept minorities like Barack Obama and strong, intelligent women like Hillary Clinton and Elizabeth Warren out of office are still intact and out there today; when we reinforce the stereotypical image of the white man as the leader of the "free world," we're only breathing new life into those codes.

 

But how does this relate to you, you ask? All you did was write stories, and they were purely for fun's sake, because you love writing. That's totally okay! I've been RPing for four years, and there's nothing on this site I love more (besides the people!) so I totally get where you're coming from. But you know the rough thing about the BZPRPG? I've been in it for four years, and in that time, I've seen:

 

- Two gay relationships; both of which came about only in the last few months, and both characters were RP'd by the same character

- Two lesbian relationships

- One male-to-female transsexual involved in a relationship; one transsexual in general, actually

 

And that's still a big problem, because while we just write about it, we write based on our environments and our experiences. And even if nobody ever sees it, the people who write the movies we watch, the shows we DVR, the books we read and rave about - they all were raised in the same constructs, and people do see their works and take inspiration from them. And then they show their kids. And then their kids show their kids. And it all comes back to what I was saying about breathing life into these tired, backwards notions. They're there; they've always been there; most of them were disguised, shown under different names and with different twists, but they're there, and they had impressions on all of us to some extent. That's where the saying "everyone is a little prejudiced" comes from. It's true! We can't help but be a little prejudiced! But it's part of the struggle to grow as people - it's our responsibility to overcome it so we can grow as people.

 

You also said that race and gender shouldn't have impact on a person's decisions, but that, again, is basic human instinct. If a minority is picked on and abused for years, and then gets into power, why wouldn't they let their past experiences color their decisions and try to improve things? Who wouldn't try to make things better after working years being paid less than her male counterparts just because of her status as a woman; who wouldn't be bitter about being refused the basic human right to plan a wedding ceremony and see it through - something that is a lifelong dream of most people! - while their heterosexual friends are sending them wedding invites every year? How do you expect people to lie down and let themselves be kicked and spat on while never once implementing solutions to fix it? It's absurd! It's absurd and it's hurtful, and it's almost entirely subconscious in the day-to-day lives of most people. And what do I do all the time most people do when they feel offended, or hurt, or want to bawl their eyes out after a long day? Curl up with some Americone Dream and turn on the TV, or read a good book - two mediums where transsexual characters and even bi/homosexual characters are still sorely underrepresented, where the phrase "token minority" is still a thing, where characters like Catelyn Stark or Skyler White are hated or reviled for not stepping back a tick or two so that they can let the men in their lives make the decisions. The prejudice has already permeated our laws; as ordinary people, how can we allow it to seep into our entertainment, too? Is it so wrong to ask for a black Human Torch, or a female Doctor Doom, or a gay superhero in a Marvel film? Why can't we have a same sex relationship in the new Star Wars mythos? Why couldn't Michael Fassbender and James McAvoy at least share a bed in X-Men: First Class, I ask you? That chemistry was there and no one will stop me from saying otherwise! How does it make the lives and experiences of those characters any less realistic - and if you can't work with characters outside your normal worldview, why are you writing at all?

 

But again, none of this is a slam on you specifically, Roablin - they're things I've wanted to get around to saying for a long time in debates and have never been able to for fear. But I'm not scared anymore. I'm just angry. Angry, and a little hopeful that someone will read this and understand what's being done wrong, and maybe think of ways we can fix it. We have a wealth of possibilities and talents that no other generation has ever had - we could be the first wave of a new beginning in society. If we let ourselves be.

 

Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go grab some ice cream. Regular cookie dough, unfortunately - out of Americone Dream.

 

-Tyler Durden / Aegon Targaryen / Tyler St. Francis

 

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10/10, would read again. In fact, you've got me thinking about some things for a blog entry of my own.

(Americone Dream is the best ice cream flavor and I will fight anyone who says otherwise.)

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Tyler, I can count the number of times something I read turned my soul into an emotional dynamo and actually made me stop and think about life on exactly one hand.

 

As of now, I officially have to use two.

 

(also, why all the hate on cookie dough, it's wonderful! ;~; )

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I mean, it's like putting a Corvette sticker on a keychain, shoving me out into the driveway, and showing me that you really gave me a Ford Pinto. Can't expect me not to vent.

 

-Tyler

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I'm glad you feel so strongly about this, and again, I'm sorry that I offended you. I'm also glad that there aren't any hard feelings between us as people. However, I still feel like what I said is being pulled out of context.

 

I never said or implied that Obama's election changed my worldview. I would have been totally happy to have a black president at any point in history before now. All I stated was my tendency to create stories within the universe we live in. It is a preference for a type of story, not a type of reality. Am I a ###### writer? Totally, I only just started after all. I need to improve in just about every way. But if I am to follow your reasoning, every story with a white president before 2008 is bigoted. Every story that did not contain progressive themes in the areas of gender or sexuality is bigoted. My whole point coming into this discussion was that old lit can be good too. TV shows I don't have an opinion on, I don't watch many of them. But you cannot look at LotR, Les Miserables, The Book Thief, or at any other of a great number of books that reveal beauty within a broken reality, and tell me that their existence harms society.

 

Also, I'm totally curious. Why do you have variations of your name crossed out twice at the end of your entry and "St. Francis" at the end?

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But if I am to follow your reasoning, every story with a white president before 2008 is bigoted. Every story that did not contain progressive themes in the areas of gender or sexuality is bigoted. My whole point coming into this discussion was that old lit can be good too.

Here's the deal: every story that emphasizes the importance of male characters while pushing female characters to the side is sexist. Every story that makes white people the heroes and people of colour the villains (LotR and Narnia are prime examples of this) is racist. Every story that, intentionally or not, promotes a worldview that heterosexual white men are superior to people of differing race, sexuality, and gender is prejudiced. "Old lit" may be good in a sense, but it can also be incredibly harmful when we allow it shape how we perceive the world.
Here're another few examples, because I'm in a good mood. You know the TV show "Friends? It's a great show, yeah, but why is it that the six main characters are all white heterosexuals, especially when New York City is one of the most diverse cities on the planet? There are more people of colour living in New York than there are white people. Or How I Met Your Mother (one of my most beloved shows)? Again: five people in New York City. All white. All heterosexual.
Here's why it's a problem:Whether you believe it or not, the stories we choose as a culture shape who we are. They shape our worldviews, which, in turn, shapes how we will tell our own stories. And when we choose to read books and watch shows that present us with a distorted view of reality, then, like Tyler has already so eloquently said, we're breathing life back into these constructs that we should be trying to tear down.

 

Let me reference you back to what Tyler's already said on the subject:

 

...the people who write the movies we watch, the shows we DVR, the books we read and rave about - they all were raised in the same constructs, and people do see their works and take inspiration from them. And then they show their kids. And then their kids show their kids. And it all comes back to what I was saying about breathing life into these tired, backwards notions. They're there; they've always been there; most of them were disguised, shown under different names and with different twists, but they're there, and they had impressions on all of us to some extent. That's where the saying "everyone is a little prejudiced" comes from. It's true! We can't help but be a little prejudiced! But it's part of the struggle to grow as people - it's our responsibility to overcome it so we can grow as people.

 

I wrote much more, but I feel like this is me getting long-winded enough as it is. Should the occasion arise, I'll post the rest of my response. Hopefully, this is enough to clear things up a bit for you.

 

 

 

(<3 u ty)

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clap_zps4b88b48a.gif

 

Preach ~

 

And just when I woke up thinking I needed something else in this blog: Janelle Monae. <3

 

(thx for the comments everyone; Roablin, I have a test to get to this morning but I'd be more than happy to reply this afternoon)

 

-Tyler

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10/10, would read again. In fact, you've got me thinking about some things for a blog entry of my own.

 

(Americone Dream is the best ice cream flavor and I will fight anyone who says otherwise.)

My friends and I play the most cruel of games, Mario Party, for the prize of a pint of Americone Dream. It is the best.

 

 

I'm just 100% with you on this whole thing. The only explanation I can have for the BZPRPG situation is that BZP's active community might be predominantly in the demographic that is more comfortable with roleplaying straight characters 'cause that's what they know best or might just be very uncomfortable with the alternative. This is a forum for a toyline and there are a lot of youngsters on here who might just not even be aware of these issues or just haven't started to question the status quo yet. It's ridiculous, yeah, but at least it's somewhat understandable why that's the situation? Still not an excuse, of course, but yeah.

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10/10, would read again. In fact, you've got me thinking about some things for a blog entry of my own.

 

(Americone Dream is the best ice cream flavor and I will fight anyone who says otherwise.)

My friends and I play the most cruel of games, Mario Party, for the prize of a pint of Americone Dream. It is the best.

 

We have a conqueror in our ranks tonight, ladies and gentlemen.

 

-Tyler

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I hate to nitpick, but you're incorrect about the suicide rate. White people have the highest suicide rate in the US, and men by and large have around a three times higher suicide rate than women in every racial demographic.

 

The rest of it I pretty much agree with, in incarceration, harassment, and especially homicide, you're dead-on, but suicide does not impact women or racial minorities more than men or caucasians, at least in the US, and it bugs me when I hear people say that because I've had two friends attempt it, one of them succeeding. Both guys, both white, and I feel like misrepresenting that one minimizes them by suggesting that the problem that took one of my friends and almost took another affects their demographics less than others.

 

Sexual minorities in all likelihood are impacted more extremely than any other group with all of these though, other than incarceration simply because of how disproportionate racial minorities are in incarceration rates. Unfortunately I can't find government statistics about violence against LGBT individuals, which is disturbing, to say the least.

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Sexual minorities in all likelihood are impacted more extremely than any other group with all of these though, other than incarceration simply because of how disproportionate racial minorities are in incarceration rates. Unfortunately I can't find government statistics about violence against LGBT individuals, which is disturbing, to say the least.

 

Yeah, this is what I meant to imply with the suicide rate statistic - probably could have worded it better.

 

-Tyler

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Quickly on the suicide thing, while it is true that men have a higher rate of successful suicide attempts, women actually have a higher attempt rate by a large margin.

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