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YouTube Rant


SPIRIT

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So I’m a productive adult. I’ve got a job and friends and things are pretty good when you average everything out. I’m entitled to a little mindless television every now and then. But, as a major cheapskate millennial and someone who hates media commitments because of how seriously he takes them, I don’t have TV so I just bum around watching cruddy YouTube videos in my recommended videos feed to opiate my brain from a long day of thinking and worry.

 

And here’s what grinds my gears, what gets my goat, what shivers my timbers, what rustles my jimmies.

 

When YouTubers state that their opinions are opinions.

 

COOL! THANKS! NO FREAKING DUH!

 

Listen here, you human trash bags, I KNOW THAT THIS LIST OF TOP TEN TIMES MICHAEL SCOTT DID SOMETHING FUNNY IS YOUR OPINION! HOW ON THIS GOOD GREEN EARTH COULD YOU OBJECTIVELY ASSESS SOMETHING LIKE THIS?

 

You spineless, mewling milksops!

 

You can’t stand by an opinion? You’ve got to water it down with “oh just FYI this is my opinion don’t get mad pls”. WELL TOUGH TAMALES, AMIGO! THIS IS THE INTERNET! PEOPLE GET MAD! PEOPLE DOWNVOTE THINGS THEY DON’T LIKE!

 

I don’t care how mundane your video or your opinion is. Just present it as fact! Stick to your guns! That’s the difference between strength and weakness, and people are sure as heck more interested in that than right or wrong. Even if I disagree with what you say, I can at least respect you standing up for what you believe in.

 

Because like I was saying before, the internet hive mind gets mad. Whoop dee doo! Just ignore them!

 

As the saying goes “haters gonna hate”, or the more updated version “dab on the haters”.

 

You can’t please everyone, but at least please yourself. There are worse fates than being hated on the internet. “Oh I can’t say this, the Internet will get mad!”

 

GOOD!

 

An angry view and a happy view still bring in the same ad revenue!

 

 

 

 

Okay, that’s all I got.

 

 

But can we also stop with the weird standard intros to things, catchphrases, and stupid names for YouTuber fanbases? Like I get that traditions are fun, people like repetition, and inventing words is fun, but just stooooooop! For goodness sake, this part of YouTube culture is much worse than the whole inability to support an opinion.

 

It’s cool that you’re famous for talking to your webcam everyday, but try to get a little perspective on the content of your videos.

 

 

Okay, that’s it for me.

 

Be sure to rate, comment, and subscribe. Don’t forget to SMASH that bell! And let me tell you about my friends at some stupid website that sells junk no one wants.

 

LAME NONSENSICAL SIGN OFF! BYEEEEEE!

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