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2019 Write Up

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V-Dawg

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Well, I figured I would just write a little about some of the low and high points of the year.

Well, at the beginning of the year, I was still recovering from my breakup in November of the previous year. I was passed the worst of it, but I was still distraught and would have bad periods lasting a few days at a time that would continue for several months. For some time, my ex had been a driving force in getting me out of the house and experience new things and just be social. I realized at this point how much I had really been forsaking other relationships in my life.

In this period, I was rediscovering my friendships and trying. I started really playing magic again. I was spending any time at my friends' apartments that I could. I joined a pathfinder campaign. I even went to my first bar after my 21st birthday. And speaking of that birthday, it was actually one of the better ones I've had. This general mood and pace continued for a while with me becoming and rebecoming close with several people.

I took classes over this summer for the first time. I had classes 3 days a week and worked the other 2. I enjoyed getting both education and work experience at the same time without getting burnt out on either. The stuff with my friends basically continued as well. We went to the lake and there were even a few parties where I was being rapidly introduced to new people.

After the semester ended, I took some time and got back home. I can't stand the city sometimes, and I always enjoy spending a little time with my family. I also got in some building in this period. And then we get to Brickfair which was really the highlight of the year for me, but I already kind of wrote about that in depth.

After returning home from Brickfair though, things took a turn for the worst. Something happened between my friends and I. (I don't want to get into it too much here due to BZPower rules, but I'll happily give more information privately.) It felt like almost everyone I knew turned on me overnight. And these are people I've been very close with for years, since middle school in some cases. I only had a couple people I could really trust.

So as fall semester started up, I was feeling pretty down. For someone who had been spending most of the year trying to be more social, losing your main friends hits hard. So I started trying everything I could. I started playing magic at games stores instead of primarily kitchen table. And luckily my pathfinder group was still accepting of me. Lately I've been spending more and more time at the school's student center, just like playing games and hanging out. 

Over the Thanksgiving break, I was excited to be going to see my aunt for thanksgiving. I hadn't made it the previous year, and I was in dire need of anything going better this year than the last. Unfortunately, as I was on the road, disaster struck again. It was raining hard, and I hydroplaned off the road. Luckily I was unharmed, but my car was totaled. Still, I made it to thanksgiving a little worse for the wear.

The semester quickly wrapped up, which was good for me since I had no car and was relying on my friends at the student center to get to and from campus. My grades this time around were a little worse than they have been, but I passed all my classes. Now I'm home again, feeling somewhere between trapped and dreading school starting again.

One other thing I did this year was start keeping a journal. I've always really like record keeping for some reason, and this year I finally found the resolve to start keeping one like I've always wanted too. I helped me get down my thoughts when I had no one to talk to and kept my mental health up. I'm very proud to have kept it the whole year, and I'll probably continue do so in the future. 

Overall, this is the roughest year I've had in a long time, maybe ever. But I got through it. And honestly when I write it out like this, there were a lot of positives, even if some of them were tainted by negatives later on.

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