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To Those With Braces (again)


Turakii #1 Lavasurfer

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I have a warning for you... because no one ever bothered to warn me.

 

One day, your braces will be removed, and will instead be replaced with a metal/plastic contraption designed to keep your teeth looking beautiful and straight and to show everyone you still haven't escaped the orthodontist's clutches.

 

When you get a retainer, it's exciting. You have removable metal in your mouth! You can take it out for pictures! You can impress your friends by flipping it with your tongue when your orthodontist isn't looking!

 

But nobody mentions.

 

That sometimes, when you take it out.

 

The roof of your mouth.

 

Tastes absolutely revolting.

 

Like glue. And food. And hairspray. Expired hairspray.

 

And suddenly, brushing your teeth sounds like the greatest pastime on earth.

 

 

Turakii

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I'm tasting it. RIGHT. NOW.

 

It's the worst thing on the world. Even worst? Mine wasn't made right. It didn't fit, and made me hurt. So much.

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They gave up on me about a year ago. I had to go through that twice, and still my teeth refuse to surrender to the Powers of Orthodontia. They said my retainers could come out... Next time I came in, my lower teeth had returned to their positions of defiance. In response, they sent in the braces once more, and they did a good job of holding back the revolutionaries for a time, then when they retreated and retainers were set in place to suppress the rebels some more. Then when those were removed and my mouth was once more a combat-free zone, those rebellious lower teeth of mine seized slightly new positions that were (and are) more easily defended. So now I have no braces, and my teeth have won the fight for freedom of will.

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